#playing on my phone cuz im a bad coworker

[toruland]

So I tested positive for covid yesterday and I've been dealing with that and honestly the first two days were the worst of it I was feeling feeling sick on Friday, chills hot and cold at the same time just like the absolute worst, but like now it's just been feeling like a cold like I've just been congested so I've been blowing my nose all day

So I'm on the phone with my best friend she's telling me about her day I'm telling her about mine I'm in the middle of playing Minecraft and again my nose has been running all day from the same nostril so I'm like oh I'm feeling a little congested I'm going to blow my nose real quick I blow and there's nothing but blood

Before you freak out it's better now but I had such a bad fucking nosebleed Lei

Like

I went through 7 paper towels, I could feel and see the blood filling up

I have NEVER in my 21 years of living had a nosebleed

Again, I'm fine although a little shaken up and just a little bit of a headache/light headed

I'm just so mad cuz I know my coworker gave me covid because she's been sick for a whole week and she has not called out of work and she doesn't wear a mask either

The worst is we're close together cuz we're both in reception

Again I'm fine now I'm breathing fine like there's nothing wrong I can still eat I can still taste things it's just it just feels like a cold

good god, what the actual fuck 🙁

i’ve never had a nosebleed either, so i know if my nose was bleeding so bad, i went through 7 whole paper towels, i would’ve passed out

also, your coworker?? an absolute bitch for coming to work with covid like it’s just some allergies or smth else that’s non-contagious :/

but im glad you’re feeling better now, and i pray you get even better soon :(

#bee mootie #you’re handling this like a champ im so proud :( #also sorry for the kinda late response!! #scara currently has me by the throat and is telling me to triple crown him so that’s what i’ve been working on for the past 2ish hours

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

#haikyuu #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu captains #daichi sawamura #oikawa toru #kuroo tetsuro #kita shinsuke #ushijima wakatoshi #bokuto kotaro #x reader

[autisticangus]

anyway im so out of the loop on the mcelboys

i pretty much only keep semi-up to date with Sawbones at this point, not cuz i dont still LIKE everything else, just a lot has been goin on in my life

if anyone wants a long and rambly update on All Of The Bullshit im gonna stick a read more down here, asks are open and its cool to message me abt any of it if u want cuz i have some really nice and cool followers/mutuals here that make me comfy talkin abt that shit

as far as the future of this blog goes i wanna start using it more again! the mcelroys have gotten me out of some really dark places before so i hope having more connection to this community and the people here and their content again will help me like it has in the past! ill probs post more general mcelroy content here than previously rather than just taz btw i just gotta fuckin uhhhhh,,,, catch up on a bunch of shit again before this blog is even semi active lmaoo but im like alive and on tumblr regularly again!!

Wow u clicked on this and wanna hear me talk? Ur awesome and sweet, thanks for caring!

These past two years have been extraordinarily tough. This is gonna be a pretty long and detailed post that deals with the sensitive topics of emotional abuse, abusive relationships, and alcoholism. Please read on with caution.

Back in March of 2019, so this was about 3-4 months after i left tumblr, I got a new boyfriend and things started out really good, he was kind of a "bad boy" and it was fun at first. Im kind of a goody-goody so it was very interesting for me at first to be with someone so different who had such different life experiences than me. I liked hearing his stories of living in a traphouse, and running with gangs, and selling drugs, and knowing people who had killed people. I assumed a LOT of it was lies, obviously, who just brags about that shit u know? I just rolled with it, didnt take it seriously, and found the imagined scenarios interesting to listen to. So much of it was obviously played up to make him seem cooler, and I shouldve seen that as the red flag it was, and all my friends did but I didnt. 

He had a serious alcohol problem, I mean I had coffee in the morning and he had 2 four lokos before noon. it was bad. about 6 months into the relationship he decided i was cheating on him with my ex who i had recently reconnected with, we missed being friends and things were really going well talking and being friends again, he was really important to me! but my boyfriend saw this as yet another thing i was doing wrong. when he decided i was cheating, that become his focus of alcoholic rage. nearly every time he got drunk, which was several times a week, he would accuse me of things, he would yell and scream, he would call me horrible names and make me cry for literal hours, he never hit me but that shouldnt even matter, i was emotionally battered and mentally bruised and everything hurt. he gaslit me into believing i said and did things i never said or did, i admitted to things that were not real, and then i was yelled at for admitting them. i didnt know what to do.

he was threatening my ex too, he would get drunk and say he knew where he lived (he didnt) or he knew what car he drove (he didnt) and explained to me many times that although he had never killed someone, people had been killed before at his command. he said a bullet in the back of my ex’s brain was just a phone call and $500 away. somedays he would tell me he was just going to do it himself, with a hammer, or a kitchen knife, or whatever weapon he could get his hands on during his explanation of how he would do it. my only option was to agree, to say it didnt matter to me what happened to him, i had to pretend my on

/ly concern was him going to jail for the crime, if i showed any sign that i didn’t want my ex murdered, it clearly meant i was cheating on him. 

i pretended to block my ex on social media to get him off my back and it worked a little bit but he still brought it up. and even if he didnt directly mention him, he would always tell me when he was drunk that i was the cause of all his problems, i was why he was so self conscious, i was why he drank so much, i was why he had to work so hard, i was why every single issue he had was happening. logically i knew it was wrong, but i was so conditioned to it by then that i just went with it. i knew that agreeing and apologizing made the fighting end quicker.

things spiraled this past summer. his job needed us to relocate so we moved like 4 states away, away from all my family and friends, and lived in a tiny hotel room for a month. during this time, his drinking was somehow worse. he was drunk literally every night but he was passing out so we didnt fight and i was relieved. i was depressed being stuck in the hotel room all day alone, but thankful i wasnt being abused at least. then he started getting into drunken fistfights with his coworkers in the hotel parking lot. one day he came home just in time to find one of his drunk coworkers trying to break into the room with me there desperately trying to keep him out. i was terrified and wanted to go home but he convinced me to stay. a couple weeks after that we travelled for his work again several more states away. his drinking got a little bit better here, but i was so depressed and lonely, i was so isolated, he was all i saw day in and day out besides his coworkers and i was nervous around them. one day the guy who tried to break in on me, purposefully, while drunk, hit another coworkers car and totaled it and tried to run the guy over and i saw the whole thing. a week later my boyfriend was also fired because he got so drunk he passed out in the hotel parking lot and the company needed to save face with the hotel after the whole car incident. 

so we travelled back home, but not my home, to his where we lived isolated on a mountain with no phone signal or wifi. the house was old and not well kept from being empty for several years, half the appliances didnt work. i was more isolated than i have ever been in my life. for 4 months i stayed there and just dreaded him coming home because i knew he would be drunk again and he'd yell or accuse me of things or otherwise belittle me. it was horrible. my friends all said to leave and my parents said to leave but i was so brainwashed into thinking that if i was just a good little housewife and if i just stayed home and did the dishes and the laundry that he would be nicer but he still found things to point at and say i was cheating. he was also becoming really controlling about my food intake and weight and i already struggle with an eating disorder so that just made me feel even more like i had to stay, my brain felt like if i wasnt under his watchful eye id gain weight again, like somehow it was thanks to him i had lost weight and not my own choices.

one day last week i expressed to him wanting to leave, saying how unhappy i was, i told him how sad i felt and how i didnt think we were such a good match. he didnt take me seriously, so the next day when he got sloppy drunk before 5 pm i packed a small bag and went to my moms. i was just gonna stay for a night or two but he called and screamed at me for leaving without telling him, i told him he just didnt remember me telling him because he was so drunk, and he accused me of not caring about his feelings and made me sound like the bad guy for leaving without his permission. i told him it was just for a few days but the angrier he got the more i knew i was in the right and told him i was done. i told him we were breaking up and id come get my stuff soon.

i got my stuff while he was at work this past weekend and moved in with my best friend. im safe and happy now. things are looking so much better for me and im so thankful to my friends and family who supported me all the way to the end.

i just wanted to make this post because, i know its not mcelroy related, and a lot of ppl probably dont care for stuff like this on this kind of blog, but i think its important.

its important to friends and family of people in abusive relationships to be steady. dont give up your ground. even if the person keeps pushing back and wont leave the person, keep being there for them, it can take a long time, it took me almost 2 years to leave, it takes some people even longer, but just stay there for them and be there for them when they finally make that step. dont give up on them.

and to those who have been in these kinds of relationships, and especially those who are there right now: it is not your fault. it is so, so hard to leave, i know, but please try to find help and support and resources to do it. if all your friends dont like someone, theres a good reason for it. please dont fall into the trap of thinking your friends dont have the best intentions for you. there are so many things you may overlook in the moment that others can see from a mile away are horrible. especially if you have been abused in the past. its incredibly hard to tell what is a red flag when your gut instinct is that anything and everything is a red flag. surround yourself with people who you can trust and listen to them

and trust me, i know how hard it is when youre stuck in that spot of KNOWING you should go but fearing that first step away. its scary. its difficult. but it is worth it. find someone safe you can be with. and if you arent sure, find a reason to leave for just a few days, an excuse, anything. give yourself space from the abuser, tell yourself youre going back in a couple days, just get out from under the thumb long enough to clear your head and things will make more sense with the fog lifted.

when i first got in my car and put my kitten on my lap and told her we were going to my moms for a couple nights, i didnt know if that was the truth. i planned to come back and i knew i didnt want to. i only took enough stuff for a couple days. i couldnt imagine my life changing so drastically. where would i live? how would i make money? who take care of me? i had no clue about any of those things. but after a couple days away I realized i would take care of me. i remembered that i had worked jobs before i was with him, i could do it again. i remembered that i had options of where to live. all of those things were so clouded when i was with him, they felt like impossibilities. once i was away, even just for a short time, things were so much easier to parse.

and i know i had many privileges in this journey not everyone is afforded, and my heart goes out to those who read this and are in this situation and the options i had just arent accessible to you, i am so sorry, i wish i had something more to offer you but all i have is my story, and a wish that it gives you some hope at the very least, and a promise that if you need someone to talk to, im here, i will listen, and you will be heard and loved.

i just want everyone who reads to take something small but important away from it. love your friends, love yourself. please stay safe. please dont give up. remember love should not hurt.

#angus.txt #getting deep in here but it felt good to write #i love u all so much ok pls be good urselves

[marvelgbt-posts]

You Can Stay Under My Umbrella (M! Reader)

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (yet to be posted)

{Tom Holland x Stylist! Male! Reader}

Warnings: Bad writing, also im in here for a short period- hello.

Summary: Tom goes to a costume fitting, and later takes you home in the rain under his Spiderman umbrella.

A/N: ella-ella-ey-ey-ey under my umbrella-ella-ella-ey-ey-ey-ey ey-ey (p.s. sry it’s short, and this takes place during the shooting of infinity war) 

i should also mention I’ve (obviously) never been on a movie set before, so i dont know how costume fittings work when it comes to  behind the scenes. But i have done performances and this is generally how they have worked for me, with some exceptions. So imma just go off experience. Also, lets pretend tom doesn’t have a trailer on set, k? Let’s pretend he has a home in America. Cuz i already wrote it and its done and I’m too lazy to go back.

(not edited)

“Shhh-it,” Tom cursed under his breath, frantically putting on his pants. “Hey, Tom. Make sure you take an umbrella, it’s raining crazy out there,” Harry said, throwing his brother a shirt. He caught it and put it over his head- backwards.

“Tom-” Patrick caught his older brothers attention as he gave Tom his Spiderman umbrella. Tom couldn’t help but smile at the small gesture, ruffling the hair of his younger brother. “Thanks, Paddy.” Patrick smiled.

Tom was running late for a costume fitting. There was going to b e a new Spiderman suit in Infinity War, and he had to get his costume resized twice. Sam had caught Tom on his way out, handing throwing him his phone and keys. “Thanks, Sam,” Tom rushed out the door and into the pouring rain.

***

Once Tom made it to the studio, he searched for his dressing room, he threw his phone and keys onto the small table and slumped in his chair. Only a minute late, good. It usually took his stylist five minutes before he came to his room.

It was now 8:29, and Tom was still alone in his room. He was beginning to panic, thinking he had either come at the wrong day or the wrong time. Was this even his dressing room. Yes, it was, it had his name on the front when he last checked, which was before he entered.

He heard the door open, and in walked Jay, who was a stylist, but not his stylist. “Sorry, I’m late, Jr. Clark mixed the outfits name tags again and Maria and I had to switch them ourselves. I swear one of these days, he’s gonna get himself fi- oh. Hey Tom, I’m sorry I must have walked in the wrong room. Sorry ‘bout that.” At this point, Jay was reversing their costume back out the door. Tom smiled, “No worries.”

It was another 3 minutes before his stylist came in, the right one. “Hey, (M/n)! Took your sweet time,” Tom teased. You chuckled, sending shivers down Tom’s spine, “Yeah, sorry. It’s just Clark-”

“Messed up the name tags? Yeah, Jay already told me.”

“Oh, I see. Well, what are you waiting for, get outta those clothes. Let’s get you changed.”

“Kay.”

“Wait, Tom… Is your shirt on backwards?”

***

You were behind Tom, fixing the back of his costume. The suit had clung to itself in certain areas and you needed to fix it, pulling on it so it would even out. You snuck a glance at Tom’s butt, holding in laughter at the thought of him wearing a thong underneath.

“What’s so funny?” Tom asked, turning to you, “Does it not fit right? Is it ripped?” You shook your head, telling him it’s was something you’d seen the day before you remembered. He nodded, turning back around, though sneaking glances at you from time to time… to time.

Finally, the full suit was on. All that was left to do was see if he could move and perform freely in it. You asked Tom to do some tests for you, like raising his arms and jumping, and touching his toes.

“Looks like the suit is finally ready to go,” you smiled, giving Tom a thumbs up with both hands. Tom smiled, he didn’t know why. The suit fitting him wasn’t that big of a deal, why was he so giddy?

***

Tom had recorded some scenes of him as Peter Parker for Far From Home, and then went home. Already, he could feel his body craving for Tessa’s touch. He had already had his planner full. He was going to play with Tessa from 12:30 until he went to sleep. Very busy schedule.

He had opened up his Spiderman umbrella, shielding himself from the rain with it. As he was walking to his car, he heard a familiar voice, “Even promoting your own merchandise? Wow, Tom, I hadn’t expected you to do something like that.” It was you, he turned around, smiling, “It’s my brothers actually.” You made a silent ‘oh’ sound, nodding your head, “I see… cute.”

Tom then noticed you hadn’t had an umbrella, and that you were soaking. Your hair stuck to your face, dripping with water. You were shivering. “Well, my house is just down the street a few blocks from here. I’ll be on my way. See you next week, Holland.” You waved, walking past him. Tom watched you leave, rain hitting your body as if assaulting you.

He ran up behind you, reaching up to cover both of you with the umbrella. You looked down at Tom. God, he was pretty tiny for 22.

“What are you doing?” You asked, amusement lacing your voice. Tom shrugged, looking forward.

“You said your house was a few blocks from here, so is my car. I’ll drop you off at home.”

“No, that won't be necessary,Tom. Thank you, though.”

Tom refused, insisting that he drop you off. ‘Because he’s British and British people are gentlemen was his argument’. You gave up and walked home, Tom right beside you.

***

“And then- haha- the scene where Thor had to catch the Mjolnir, Chris couldn’t get a grip on the handle- so- he-” you chuckled to yourself a bit, Tom giggling as well, “-he kept throwing it. His balance was so off he kept hitting the stupid thing with the palm of his hand. So Captain America had his shield and Thor was just awkwardly trying to get a grip on the hammer. Hemsworth’s face throughout it though, too. We all had a good laugh from it.”

On the way, you and Tom had decided to talk about what you two experience in the field of film. He talked about what it was like to see himself on video and you described fashion-fails and bloopers while you were on set. “Did you know Hiddleston once almost fell down the stairs in that scene where he finds out he’s a frost giant because his cape was too long? So i had to fix it, which delayed our scheduling by a day.”

Tom nodded, chuckling, thinking of what his coworker would look like at a panicked state at the top of a staircase.

“Well, this is my stop. See you, Tom,” You waved, walking up to the front door of your house to unlock it. Once you did, you and Tom made eye contact for about 10 seconds, before Tom rushed up and gave you a quick peck on the cheek, having to hoist himself up on his toes and using your shoulder for balance to do it.

He ran off the direction you two came down on, waving to you as he yelled, “See you next week, (L/n)!”

You smiled, fingers barely grazing over you now warmed up cheeks were he had kissed you, as you said a quick goodbye under your breath, “See you next week, Holland.”

Ewwwwwww this sucked ass… part 2?

#marvel imagines #marvel x male reader #tom holland #tom holland x male reader #tom holland imagine #marvelgbt #male reader #top male reader #dom male reader #male reader imagines #gay imagines #lgbt imagine

[lpfreakification]

Finally. I can lay down in peace after another all dayer (12 PM to 12 AM). *turns to lay on stomach* idk why im unable to open Instagram. It keeps closing on me just as i tap to open the app. So today (11/17/18 Saturday) was my dad's bday. He is now 54. I doodled this thru-out the day.

My female coworkers thought it was the cutest drawing i ever done. I do agree with them too X3 i got the idea after the 1st or 2nd hour of work :3 the dorks didnt come in until about 8:30 PM. As soon as i served them their pizza (at around 9:12), i dined with them. Dining with them counted as my break. After we ate pizza + cake (well technically, pie), i gave the dad the card.

(oh god, i actually like this pic). *pondering about something bad that can happen one day* *shivers* i didn't want to think about that. After they left @ around 10:12 or so, i just went back to work for the rest of the night.

Now that im here, @ home, in thy room, on the floor, about to eat a sandwich i was saving thru-out the day, ill be on the phone, watching something from my tablet, + play some Pokemon :P well, not too much cuz its late.

#life #doodlenotebookpages

[socialistsooner420]

i woke up like 40 mins late for work and my boss drives me to work cuz i live right down the street and i was on the phone like "OMG I CANT BELIEVE I OVERSLEPT IM SO SORRY IM GETTING READY RIGHT NOW AHHHHH!"

but his response????? "eyyy no worries, take yr time, i just got here 10 mins ago im runnin late too haha, don't forget anything."

LIKE

🥺

THANK YOU???????????

he told me to bring my guitar to work and i did and he was playin it all day

just like, what the fuck, man. i got the best fucking job. ive got the best boss, best coworkers, i fuckin love it so much. the day just flies by in there because we're just havin fun. 80% of the day, theres no guests in the store so we just smoke weed and play pokemon and watch stupid shit on youtube. like im really getting paid for this???????? AND i get to do design work without actually having to get a design job which is fucking fantastic bc the graphic design industry is toxic af.

i went from having a steady job for almost 5 years where i legitimately was scared that i would be beaten every day, physically and mentally, and usually was beaten every day, to such bad luck with temp jobs and other shit in between, to this fucking DREAM of a job????????????????? what??????!?!????

im cleaning my house for a lil party and ive literally never been so hype to hang out with coworkers. never even wanted most of em to know where i lived. but now im like FUCK I WISH MY HOUSE DIDNT LOOK LIKE A TRASH PIT SO I CAN INVITE THEM OVER

I WANNA MAKE MY BOSS DO A GIANT DAB

i told em i was planning a party and they're hype af too. they just got such good energy. my boss is gonna cook for us!!! like!!! wow!!!!!!!!! they genuinely like me!!!!!!!!! 🥲🙏😭 i cant believe it 😭😭😭

its so nice to not have to wear a mask at work. we can talk openly about literally anything. when all 5 of us are at the store, theres 5 different conversations going on because we're all just so excited.

i just love my job so much. holy shit how did i get so lucky. is this my reward for surviving the trenches???? god i hope so

#ill.txt

[sweet-xoxo-thatcares]

Do you remember?

😳 I don’t think you remember the “exact moment” I felt a spark for you. You A.D.D. mf)

But yea, I had a crush on you since then.

I made a sad cover of “Sprung” by T-Pain the night that I realized I actually did like you. And that I was ok with it. I had finally accepted it. I fell for my coworker who was already in a relationship. But that was late of January 2019.

I think we had this conversation in December.

Right around the end of Fall Semester at the college bookstore.

I remember I walked over to the unofficial, packing table that was placed right before you to get to the bookshelves of all this many textbooks that I never gave a fuck about.

We were unpacking boxes of school supplies for inventory with a few others.

I started grabbing some boxes while you said “Hey, what's up?”

And Then I probably awkwardly, “Alright, How’s it going?”

I don’t know why I was nervous around you. Probably because this was our only other time we had to talk other than those last 2 that made me very uncomfortable and confused. 

(I used to be so jittery around that time, because I hated being the newbie, in a new place with a bunch of people I didn’t know. I was shy, silent, observant and goofy awkward if someone tried to talk to me. I avoided being in view of conversations because I hated being in the center of attention. It was too uncomfortable. )

Convo #1

The first day we met, was my training day with another new girl named Nicole.

I had asked you and her for your names as I introduced myself

And I noticed your voice was a lot deeper than I expected it to be? Compared your soft white-like pale skin. I thought you were Latino-mixed. I had no idea that you were black, too. (omgg this sounds so racist typing this shit out loud lmaooo wtf) You kinda sounded similar to my cousin Joq, who’s a firefighter.

I seemed a bit taller than you, but your brown hair was kinda cute. It was like a curly top with a faded cut on both sides. Your natural Brown hair was my favorite on you. Cause’ sometimes I saw speckles of light brown, gold, and grey when you were outside or took pictures in the sunlight. You seemed chill, and you had these cute fluffy cheeks like they were freshly made dough covered in baker’s flour. Like right before they toss it up in the air to make it bounce.

Plus, I didn’t know if you were a girl or a boy. Or just a girl, who like dressing up like a tomboy. Because you had very pretty eyes. And I didn't notice any facial hair.....but no I wasn't looking hard at your face. It was just stuff I remembered to look back on later on that day. I didn’t want to ask, because one, thats none of my business and two, I couldn’t make eye contact with you. It just didn’t seem right at the time. I glanced, but not too hard because eye contact still makes me uncomfortable to this very day.

I had asked you if you could show me how to clock-in, how to post a timeline thing for the store’s facebook out of curiosity because I saw you do one, and I didn’t know how to put the size tags on the hooks of the hangers....which was new to me too. You seemed a lil tight lipped, so I probably thought I should stop asking you for help. I didn’t know you preferred being called “they” until that one girl with shaved head, I think Jordan, had answered my question about you being a guy or a girl. I wanted to know, but I wondered if I was like that, I would have assumed someone was being too nosy or judgmental. So I didn't speak to you about it until later. Also, you had a very intimidating smile. Maybe it was because I had never seen you smile with your teeth out unless it was because you were laughing at a joke I made or something weird I said.

Convo #2

I don’t know how it started, but I was readjusting clothes to put back onto their hangers and I saw you were in between register 2 and 3. This was the first time I had found out you had a girlfriend....who also worked at the same store....fucking kill me.

Because she started to walk in, and then you yelled to me, “Do you got a bae?” from across the counter I was standing at. And I said “Huh? No”

In my head, Im like why are you asking me that? But then as she came into your view you said “Cuz I got a bae.” And she came behind the register where you were at to clock in and you ignored me and greeted her with a kiss. Then you pointed at her and said to me “That’s my bae.” 

And I looked at you so confused like....you fucking weirdo.

And this all happened within a span of like 8 seconds or so....

It was like you were so curious to know if I was single or not, because later on you had asked me again like as if you had forgot, 

“Do you got a bae?” 

“No.”

But you said it so quick it was like weird because it was in passing that you asked me that again. Like how could you forget that you asked me that? And why were you asking me that if you had a girlfriend already? Were you trying to set me up with someone else? I didn’t want any trouble with you, so I kinda backed off from you because one, I barely even knew you to have that kinda question answered. But me being in shock that you asked, made me blurt out no....like nooo wtf I wasn’t supposed to answer. I used to stick to my morals, tough.

OK>>>SO BACK TO WHEN MY CRUSH STARTED

We were unpacking boxes, greetings...

You asked me “Where you from?” And somehow we were talking about how weird and thirsty it was for Bella to make a set of her phone number out on paper for her to pass to all these college guys. You said it was because she liked getting guy’s attention. And I said yea with all those business cards. 

And then somehow the topic of Bella’s sexuality had us talking about our own. 

You had asked me if I was gay and I hesitantly said, “I wasn’t sure.” Cause I wasn’t sure if I wanted people know that I was at least bicurious because of my mom. My dad eh.... I was more afraid of her ever finding out. Also, because I honestly never quite had the chance to officially know, I had only looked at certain girls in that certain way unless I had gotten to know them a little better, if I already knew they was gay, or I was just watching lesbian porn. I especially like tongue kissing videos the most. Idk why tongue sucking make out vids was such a clit boner for me. Especially when they suck each others....hold up back to the story 🤣.

But then, you told me that the first time you lost virginity was in third grade. You said “I think about sex all the time.”

And this is where I said “Oh,” because it wasn’t like you were casually saying this. Your eyes changed. 

They grew so full, so big and so dark, I didn't even know why you were looking at me like that and how the fuck did you make me so fucking scared and aroused all at the same time. Like I said “eye contact makes me uncomfortable” (It was an adrenal thing...I think. Lets just say anxiety for rn.)

Especially when it looks like a big, bad wolf wants to see what you taste like.

You walked away to go help a customer, but as you came back you asked “so are you a virgin?” and I said “Huh?”

I was still short stiff with a clit boner that I tried to make go away, how else was I supposed to feel??? I was like oohhhhhh shittttt are we gay? I don’t even know what exactly “they” are.

I noticed you started to stare at me a little bit too longer than you should have been looking at my face, but I could understand why now. You knew.

You knew that I was attracted to you.

And my flushed cheeks would not go down as you kept looking at me when we talked. I think thats when we got separated again, because boss told me to start helping people in the aisles.

I looked at you differently after,

I didn’t know what made me pulse up like that for you, because I rarely got clit boners. I thought it was a sign, because it was blinking. Just like my heart was beating.

Looking back on it now, you probably were praying on me, since I was a virgin. You told me way later on that you liked sex with virgins. How come I didn’t runaway after you said that?....I was a blind fool for those eyes. 

Fuck. 

I ignored all those red flags lol. You know what's even more weirder, I just realized you set that story up 1st to ask me if I was a virgin first, then you asked me if I was gay. But then again, I did mention “what would you say is another word for vagina?” I said “blossom😊” and you said “blossom🤨?” 

Cause of course, the only pussy I’ve seen was on porn, but I didn’t watch them “up-close masturbation” videos until after we....😳 

How dumb, innocent, and naive I must have been.

I had a hard time accepting my crush for you because you were my 1st gay crush. I came out the closet for you. Over Christmas break, I had to rationalize what it all meant: do we have romantic feelings? do we care if you had a dick, pussy, or none (because you were nonbinary, but I still wanted you), do we care if this crush never comes out because you had a girlfriend? How desperate was I to kiss you? I had never kissed someone outside my gender...I had only kissed one guy that I found out was my cousin at 16. I was 22 and never had a real kiss, still a virgin, still in the closet....at my mom’s house.

My insecurities were through the roooofff and my overthinking made me hesitant to even consider ever ever ever ever telling you...because 2019 was about to start and we were about to get let off as temp workers. I thought maybe I should just let it go because you started working somewhere else and I never saw you at the store for awhile.

Even when boss ended your term 1st, I was so sad, so emotional because I never got to hang out with you like that. We used to play tag with the note clips on people’s shirts, and I used to crack jokes about Brian’s hair patch. It was fun, but I was ready to give up until I saw you at your last day. 

I wanted to help you out, but you said you got it when you were putting up calculators. In my head, I was like noooo, let me help you out. Its your last day, how else am I going to see you again? You didn't even have a facebook or instagram with your name, I checked 1st 🥺. I thought maybe it was supposed to be short lived like a crush...until I had my 1st dream about you and I was like ohhhh hellllll nahhhh. Its a sign bitch, go. 

So I got you and your gf number off the employee directory list boss had for us to contact each other in case we wanted to trade shifts. 

I texted something similar to you like “hey, just wanted to say goodbye to you since I didn't get the chance...”

(which was true because I said goodbye to you the day you came back in to get your scarf, and then you left. Without saying anything back to me out the door. I thought maybe my voice was too soft...or you just didn’t like me as a person..... 😔)

“Just wanted to say it was nice working with you. Maybe I’ll see you around campus?”

But you must have left me on read because I didn't hear nothing back for 2weeks until your gf invited me and some coworkers to go bowling late in January...right around this time. I was the only one that showed up like lol wtf. 

I felt like an idiot after we started talking about Taylor.

Thats when I heard my head’s dark side say “BINGO”

Because I had no idea you two were having a threesome with her. In fact I was a little bit jealous that you two were seemed so close as friends...compared to you and I. But I thought it was weird when Bella asked you about if she should hook up with Taylor, you said “Nah, she a little too crazy for you.”

That shoulda been my hint.

Cause’ you even talked about looking at other girls with Key, and I became jealous and insecure then too,

Because Key, looked like a fucking bulldog. Why tf would you want to have sex with her? (my jealous petty thoughts...smh) I looked wayyyyy prettier than her. I thought I should have been the more worthy one to have ben chosen.

I thought you must have liked skinny girls to have liked Taylor like that.

And yea...that me fall down in my esteem too. Sighhhhhh, I thought she must have been lucky to have been picked by you.

Ewwww why am I going goo-goo-ga-ga all over again.

What still rattles me up to this day is...why was I so jealous of your “sub-slutstitues” and not your actual girlfriend? I never understood that. 

Was it because me and her were actually starting to become friends and I wasn’t bothered by you and her’s chemistry. It was weird af for me, because usually I would have scowled at someone who was with someone I wanted. 

But I guess I actually liked her too,

Which made this last part pretty hard to accept.

That I was a bad friend to her too,

I had only became friends with her to get closer to you, but in the process I wanted her to stay too. We were comfortable with each other and I never experienced being comfortable with intimacy with another woman like her. She made me feel calm, but in a different way than you did. She made me calm like a mother would...like I was a motherless child.

That touch that I had been so longing for, was right there.

And I knew it, after she kissed me. There was no going back. Like I’m right here for both of you now. Not just one.

It was sad, comforting, and rejuvenating all at the same time. 

You guys sparked a light in me that I knew I had, but was afraid to light it because of what other people wanted me to be. I never knew that I could make my own choices and do as I pleased because I was always in my mother’s spotlight. And so they became home in my heart and she became my ease of pain.

Maybe I just didn't want to be alone. But I swear, something felt different between you guys and I was so close to proposing us throuple rings. But thats not what she wanted....nuh uh.

Something changed after that 1st lil passionate moment.

Its like she didn’t want me, I was just using you to have some fun.

What I thought was true, wasn't true at all.

And just like that she became my mother. And just like my real mother, I hate her all over again. 

I thought how could you be with someone who was so cold and bitter?

She never liked me, she was emotionally unavailable.

Thats why my heart didn’t go ding for her like it did for you. It was like she was always gone, but she was always there.

[miniwixoide]

survey :)

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe? pirate.... or maybe sophie

Anyone crushing on you? yes :)

What is your relationship status? seeing someone....

Has anyone ever sang to you? yes :)

Has anyone ever given you roses? yes !!! zofia has... and a guy i used to date

Who do you text the most? my roommate and zof

First person to text today? sophie

What color are your eyes? brown

What is a compliment you receive often? that im beautiful and hot :)

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when? pirate last night

Do you like your parents? yes

Do you secretly like someone? yes

Why did your last relationship end? problems

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone? pirate

Who was the last person you kissed? pirate

Do you like funny people or serious people? funny :)

What are you listening to? coworkers talking

Is the last person you kissed older than you? yes laughing crying emoji

Are you happy right now? i have an annoying booger in my nose

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? a million dollars xD

Who makes you happiest right now? my self

Do you want to get married & have children one day? idk

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yeah

How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they love you? idk like uhhh 5-6?

Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person? no

Are you crushing on someone? yea

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? yea

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? yes

Are you happier single or in a relationship? idk

Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn’t mean it? no

Have you ever had your heart broken? yes

Have you ever broken someone’s heart? yes

If you could go back in time and change things, would you? yes

Think any of your ex’s feel the same? idk but they should :p

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? yes

Have you dated people who were not good to you? lol yes

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? no

Do you believe in love at first sight? no

Ever been given an engagement ring? yes lol

Do you want to get married? idk 

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? yes

Ever liked someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend? yes but never acted on it or anything

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? yep

Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up with you? no

Would you believe your ex if he said they love you? no

Would you ever date your best male friend? no

If your best friend of the opposite sex went out with someone you knew was wrong for them would you speak up? yes and i have lol

Do you regret any of your relationships? not really cuz i learned but like. i feel a little bit ashamed

Would you date an ex? no except maybe one

Where were you at 9 o’clock this morning? passed out

When was the last time you saw your best friend? this weekend

Do you tend to update your Facebook status a lot? no never

Is there someone you feel you can talk to about absolutely anything? not really lol

What subject were you best at in school? french / literature

The last conversation you had with the opposite sex, what was it about? occupation double

When was the last time you charged your phone? overnight

Do you have anyone on your Facebook friends list that you’ve never even talked to? yeah

List 5 things you’re afraid of: people i love dying, getting sick, being assaulted, fire, traumatizing stuff

Have you forgotten anything important recently? i forgot to wake up this morning

Would you say you’re an honest person? idk

The last Facebook message you received from the opposite sex, what did it say? jmen va dans la douche jre

What does the nicest message in your Facebook inbox say? damn idk LOL

Is your best friend single? no

What colour was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? black

What does your pencil-case look like? holographic astro boy black pencil case :)

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? good question :|

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? right now technically

Who do you dislike the most? Explain what you dislike about that person. idk..... i dislike mysogynist creeps

Tell me 5 random facts about your sibling(s). (Or your best friend, if you’re an only child): he is four years old, a gemini, loves ultraman, favorite color is red, talks to ghosts

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? like 6 years LOL

Do you use straightening irons on your hair? What brand? yes, tresemmé i think

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? coworkers

Is there anything you would like to complain about? yeah :p

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? in the magazines, on the movie screens

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? die :p

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? she doesn't know him

Now your cell phone, what color is it? black

Last text? Who was it from? 'encore?' from sophie

Do you use your speed dials? no

What was so special about today? umm i made peace with someone :)

If somebody tried to steal your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do? warn her or something

What was the last thing you said to your mother? i don't remember :(

When was the last time you cried? i don't remember.. like 2 weeks ago

Has anyone made you upset lately? yes

What are you looking forward to? my next date, getting high, playing mario, working with my friend

Does anyone completely understand you? no

Ever stayed up all night on the phone? yes

Do you miss your past? not really no but parts of it sometimes

Do you have a reason to smile right now? yes always :)

Are you a forgiving person? too forgiving yeah but less than i used to be

Do you say sorry first? depends

Do you like cats? yes

Has someone promised you something and broke it? yes lol

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? just hug

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? rarely

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? no

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? yes :(

Are you anything like you were a year ago? yeah but im VERY different and for the better :)

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? yes

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone? outside with friends :)

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? absolutely not

Has anyone upset you in the last week? kind of but not for long

What should you be doing? im doing it

Describe how you feel right now in one word. hungry!

What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person you liked? LOL..... i'd laugh

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or a sink? filtered water sink :p

Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? nah

Have you ever thrown your ipod in anger? nooo

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? idk

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? yeah

Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you mad? probably but i cant remember right now

Would you ever get a tattoo? yes i have two

[ficswithrimi]

AIGHT RIMI BUT TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME you best be answering 1-100 too cuz u love me ❤️❤️❤️😎🤪

erkmgaenr;gW i WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU TO RETALIATE T_T

1:Is there a boy/girl in your life?

Does Jaehyun from NCT count? If not, no ;;;

2:Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?

Sure? Idk who hurt me last lmao

3:What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”

A cat lolol

4:What’s something you really want right now?

To go to KCON NY to see NCT ;;;;; 

5:Are you afraid of falling in love?

Actually, yes? I think it’ll make me more vulnerable than what I’m already am lol

6:Do you like the beach?

Not really. The humidity causes my hair to become frizzy ;;

7:Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?

Nope. 

8:What’s the background on your cell?

LMAO Jaehyun.

9:Name the last four beds you were sat on?

My bed x4

10:Do you like your phone?

I have an iPhone X. I actually do like it.

11:Honestly, are things going the way you planned?

Hell no. I’m supposed to be preparing to move to Korea this year but that’ll have to wait until 2019.

12:Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?

Uh... one of my coworkers, I think?

13:Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?

A poodle! 

14:Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?

Emotional. Physical pain is guaranteed to go away eventually. 

15:Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?

A zoo!!!!!!!

16:Are you tired?

I’m always tired.

17:How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

My first contact is me lmao so 22 years.

18:Are they a relative?

I guess? Am I related to myself?

19:Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?

HELLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOO!! Miss me with that bullshit.

20:When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?

Uhhhh Christmas?

21:If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?

Probably not.

22:Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Refer to my answer on question 19.

23:How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?

3.

24:Is there a certain quote you live by?

There are many worlds. But they share the same sky. One sky, one destiny - Kingdom Hearts (I see it as we’re all equal and live under the same sky so no one is above another, ya know?)

25:What’s on your mind?

Why KH3 gotta be released in 2019 when Nomura told me 2018. He playin these GAMES! 

26:Do you have any tattoos?

No, but I’m getting my first tattoo dedicated to SHINee next month!

27:What is your favorite color?

Blue, black, pink, and mint green!

28:Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?

When Jae and I make things official lmao

29:Who are you texting?

@uexe

30:Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?

The last person I kissed was when I was 15 and that was only once so no.

31:Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?

All the time.

32:Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

@uexe

33:Do you think anyone has feelings for you?

Lowkey? Yes... 

34:Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?

All theeeeee time.

35:Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?

Okay and? Lmao.

36:Were you single on Valentines Day?

As always. 

37:Are you friends with the last person you kissed?

Nopeeeeee.

38:What do your friends call you?

Karimi, Rimi, shorty, or bitch (in a friendly way lmao)

39:Has anyone upset you in the last week?

Yes, my entire job. 

40:Have you ever cried over a text?

Idk? Probably have.

41:Where’s your last bruise located?

Upper inner thigh.

42:What is it from?

Me shaving my bikini line lmaooo 

43:Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?

Today.

44:Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My dad.

45:Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?

Yeah, these black wedges I have.

46:Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?

Yep.

47:Would you ever go bald if it was the style?

NOPE!! My hair is my baby. 

48:Do you make supper for your family?

Occasionally.

49:Does your bedroom have a door?

Bedrooms don’t have doors?

50:Top 3 web-pages?

Tumblr, YouTube, Google

51:Do you know anyone who hates shopping?

Yes.

52:Does anything on your body hurt?

The bruise on my inner thigh lol.

53:Are goodbyes hard for you?

Yes!

54:What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

Idk?

55:How is your hair?

A mess.

56:What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my messages from @ninetynine-dreams

57:Do you think two people can last forever?Of course!

58:Think back to January 2007, were you single?

I was like 11 so yes lmao.

59:Green or purple grapes?

Purple!

60:When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?

Idk? Probably when I see my friend who lives in Korea next year?

61:Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?

Yes.

62:When will be the next time you text someone?

Now. 

63:Where will you be 5 hours from now?

Preparing to go out to get mexican food and margaritas with my best friend.

64:What were you doing at 8 this morning.

Sleep.

65:This time last year, can you remember who you liked?

My coworker lmaoooo. Omg yall, I told him I loved him yesterday (as a joke) and you should’ve seen his face. He was shookt.

66:Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?

Jaehyun ^^

67:Did you kiss or hug anyone today?

Not yet lmao.

68:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

Wow, I really love taekwondo. (I started classes yesterday lol)

69:Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

Yep! 

70:How many windows are open on your computer?

Two.

71:How many fingers do you have?

Ten lol.

72:What is your ringtone?

Good Evening - SHINee

73:How old will you be in 5 months?

Still 22. 

74:Where is your Mum right now?

Hopefully in Heaven

75:Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?

Sora is a video game character from Kingdom Hearts and therefore it is physically impossible for me to be with him.

76:Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?

Nope.

77:Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?

Yep.

78:Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?

Seventh grade? This dude named John lolol he was a fuckboiii

79:Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure.

80:Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?

Does me as a baby and my parents count??

81:How many people have you liked in the past three months?

Just Jaehyun.

82:Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?

Nope.

83:Will you talk to the person you like tonight?

Tell Jae to call me and then I will.

84:You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

Probably my best friend.

85:If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?

Yes.

86:What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?

I went to a movie with a bunch of hot guys and left with none of their numbers ayeeee.

87:Who was your last received call from?

My dad.

88:If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?

Nah, I’m not heartless.

89:What is something you wish you had more of?

mONEY?!

90:Have you ever trusted someone too much?

Yep!

91:Do you sleep with your window open?

Nah!

92:Do you get along with girls?

Of course. Girls are cool.

93:Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?

Not really?

94:Does sex mean love?

HELL NO!

95:You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

Yeah.

96:Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?

 Nope.

97:Did you sleep alone this week?

I sleep alone every week.

98:Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?

Of course. Kpop, reading, my friends, dancing, my playstation 4, KINGDOM HEARTS, my family,etc.

99:Do you believe in love at first sight?

No. Jaehyun is the love of my life but when I first saw him in The Seventh Sense I was lit like “Lolololol who’s the curly haired kid? Why you let them do that to you, son? Where’s Ten? That’s bae.” Then Firetruck came out and my hoe ass was like “WHO’S THAT ONE?! -points at Jaehyun-” and I’ve been falling slowly for him ever since 2016. Now I don’t have any other biases lmao.

100:Who was the last person that you pinky promise?

Idek man. Probably my coworker/close friend Jasmine.

OKAY IM DONE WHEW!

#laloserr

[milaek]

2 am Stream of Conciousness

Forward:. I was asked a couple of days ago by @squiddleward if I would ever consider writing down just a stream of consciousness. This of course was after about a 30 minute discussion on the various and finer points of the ADHD brain, which I am pleased to say went rather well. And I am having trouble sleeping at the moments because my brain never shuts up and figured, hey, I might as well do that one thing.

And so begins stream of consciousness proper.

SOC. Is that weird? That's a little weird. Oh God starting things is hard. I spelled that wrong the first- car. Theres a car noise and now my airconditioner- wait I don't have one of those we only get heat- is on. The workers are actually- what time is it? I saw my clock out of the corner of my eye. I'mma check. It's 2:10. Why am I like this? Typing makes a funny sound cuz my phone is on vibrate.

Do you ever just listen to the noise of a quiet room? Like that weird buzz that you start to pick up when things are super quiet. I like to play a game called 'whats the highest buzz I can pick out?' where I choose a buzz frequency and my stomach just gurgled and oh hey heater again and why is my roommate still up she just started playing some video about America? Why is our- taco. I used to have an incader Zim tshirt that was bright blue and had for on it and I think text that went 'being normal is so taco' or something like that? True 2009 rawr XD culture right there.

She keeps pausing and playing the video in these tiny spurts? Are her headphones broken? Did she fall asleep on her phone? It is unlike her, she never plays her shit out loud and she's always the first one asleep. It paused again.

Anyways the buzz game. Once you find a tone/frequency you try to focus on the next one above it. And then the next one. Except they're all so damn high that you end up going in circles because sometimes the next one- JESUS I FORGOT MY PHONE WASNT ON SILENT. I just got an email and it scared the crap- heaters off again. Why does it do this on off on off thing? Like, just pick one?

Anyways yeah sometimes it circles to one that's actually.lower cuz you thought it was higher but it's not? Yeah. I'm doing that now. Ok now some weird truck just turned on? Or theres some goddamn vampire tireless construction worker drilling all by himself in the house apartment thing being built- the floodlites go right into my room it fucking suuuuucks. I really like having my dog sleep in my bed. I know my boyfriend doesn't but I love having her all snuggled up with me it's so sweet and very valuable I had Chinese food today. Good shit. Chow fun is so good, but it was basically I got in a fight not fight disagreement with my roommate about diets because I'm trying to watch what I eat but we like in a very big body positive house but I do want to lose weight? How do I say this and complain about having to hold myself to new food standards in a way that doesn't imply that fat is bad? My roommates are fine I just hate myself and wanna get at least a little more thin. Nothing crazy, just back into the 100's would be nice. I want eggs. 160 is like ideal Kate, but 170, 180, those are both good. I think there was a garlic potato recepit I can't spell that goddamned word fuck in the book I was reading today. Good shit. I can't spell porpoise either. The whale thing. Or purpose. The not whale thing. Why is English so hard.

Are porpoises whales? I took a class on marine biology, olivia I have failed you I'm sorry. Dig to the brain dig to the brain why does dogfish brain look like cat food tuna salad. I think some got on my mouth when we did that it was v salty. A v salty fish boi. What did you have to be salty about my dude? Oh wait yeah being killed as a baby duh lol. Eyes are weird. I squished it's eyeball and there was like, another fuckin ball inside of it? Is that how eyes work?? I still don't know??? It haunts me to this day. I don't think I ever looked at it's little shark teeth tho fuckin- glass blowing was cool. Man I wish I kept doing that. I burned myself again rpobably where that burn was from when I made a rose it was pink and pretty the rose I mean not the burn. The burn sucked. My coworker got burned and it turned into a big ol boil right under her bra hook poor girl. I ahevnt seen most of my face co-workers in weeeeeks why do none of y'all work closing TTnTT gotta turn over but I hate moving. Why does my bed eat pillows? Cookie monster. How did we all believe that he was actually eating those cookies. I watched the Muppets movie the other day. It was aight. The two humans were the most blancy mc bland straight couple tm people tho. Like, the hell? It's a wacky.story abt Kermit please give the woman an actual personality u fools I refuse to believe you spent it all on ms. Piggy. Ok Im tired I wanna shut my eyes now. Play the bu- heater just turned on again. Did it ever turn off? Those okami flag scroll things are the fucking worst that you have to run across. Rabbit. Like, just random image of.a rabbit on my brain. Though i should explain that one. 'thought you ought to know' *passes out* *thousands of children scream*. Truly iconic. Dat boi. The image in that meme was kinda trash but the meme itself was so good. Fuck man what's the opposite of missing something bc that it what I feel for that forever alone and meme face tm meme stuff. A dark, dark time. Before the age of dadaist memes, after the age of random XD. What i dub in my brain as the 'newgrounds era' of memes. My screen is yellow. I wish i could on a ferret. I wonder if a ferret would eat grass?

Ok this needs to end. Any thought pauses were denoted by line breaks. And now i must sleep.

#train of thought #stream of conciousness #adhd #night blogging