#please accept my shitty work to the fullest

[nypmphetsbastard]

PARADIS ISLAND

Genre: slowburn fanfiction, college!au

Pairing: yelena x fem!reader

Summary: college becomes a whirlpool of new people and emotions once you meet a woman by the name of yelena manages to weasel her way into your once perfect life and tear down everything you ever thought to be true. From religious views to friendship, she builds something new. Now, she introduces you to new world she likes to call Paradis Island.

Warnings: angst, smut, hurt/comfort, struggles with Religion, homophobic comments/people

A/N: this story is posted on ao3 {NYMPHETSBASTARD} as well as wattpad {SUGACODED} because wattpad is acting a fool and I need another place to save this story👍

————

Leaving home was always a rough time for both parent and child. Anybody who grew up in a loving home tended to stick to that home like glue, not wanting to separate from it and instead choosing to go to schools and jobs closer to home, closer to family. Those without however, preferred their freedom. When the clock struck 12 and everybody went to sleep was the only time they'd have to themselves, the only time they'd ever have to feel safe and relaxed — leaving home wasn't as hard on them.

You...well you were a different story. You didn't like a lot of things, being grabbed, having things snatched out of your hands, people taking your food without permission, somebody talking to you when you're clearly trying to avoid them — the list could go on. But growing up leaving you home never seemed to cross your mind. For whatever reason you felt like things were fine at home, not perfect but not terrible either, nine year old you didn't stop to think that one day you'd have to make the decision to move away from your friends and family. The small town you were in had a lot of older people, ones that never separated from their high school popularity phase and believed that the world revolved around them and them only, the others were newly young adults seeking any way out. You hoped you'd be the ladder.

Your parents had never spoken to you about leaving the house, meaning you grew up only learning what was taught in school. World War One and two, Pearl Harbor, slavery, and other shitty thing America did and or went through throughout the course of centuries on end — all only ever learned or discussed in school. The main focus in your household was religion and religion only. It's what you grew up to be right, nothing else existed in your mind besides that.

There was nothing wrong with that. Well...until around the time high school hit. Senior year was the year stressed to you since you were a freshman, you could barley fathom the fact that you'd have to apply for colleges, work on a bunch of different essays and possibly move away when you were young and you could still barley understand it now. But it was only then, then when they had handed you that slip of paper of which colleges you were going to apply to did you realize something; you didn't want to end up in a boring old relationship with a guy from your sophomore geometry class, get married, have a couple of kids that would send you to a nursing home and never live the life you dreamed of having.

You wanted that Disney channel teenage life, teenage adventures that would give you enough memories to last a lifetime and successfully say you lived your life to the fullest. While your teenage years had been spent in a church every weekday, your nose in school books and your bedtime forever stuck at the time 8:30, you swore your adulthood would be different.

Everything would be different.

"Are you sure you're not missing anything, hun?" Your mother asked nervously watching you pack the trunk up with your suitcase and extra bags. You yawned into your hand due to the more than early hours you guys were beginning the trip in order to make it early to your destination.

"You made a list mom, I don't think there's anything I could miss." She smiled your small joke and got in the passenger seat of the car, "You know, you guys really don't have to come. It's nearly a 4 and half hour drive over there, not including the drive back." You mentioned

"We already told you we're going to stop by my mother in laws and stay for a while." Your father explained, you sighed and got into the backseat of the car.

You brought your favorite stuffy and laid your head on it against the window as you prepared yourself for the 4 hour drive from your old childhood home to a new place where new memories could be made. It felt almost nostalgic watching your entire childhood fly by from behind a window. The blue slide you loved going up and down on till you felt like throwing up. The metal pole that always terrified you trying to go down. The monkey bars you taught yourself to climb because of the lack of friends you had that could teach you. It all seemed to disappear behind flashes of trees and road as the car drifted further and further away from the place you called home.

"Morning sunshine! We're here!" Your father exclaimed, waking you out of your slumber. You groaned quietly and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, taking a moment to look out the window at the large building in front of you. Gawking at the size, you shook your head and stepped out of the car to get a closer look.

"This is much smaller than the one I went to." Mentioned your father, squinting up at the building and helping you pull your suitcase out of the trunk.

"That's because you went to community college, honey." You chuckled at your moms observation and rolled your suitcase up to the sidewalk.

"Well I'll see you guys—" you started until your words were cut off by your mother slapping her hands down on your shoulders and giving you a firm look.

"I better not come visit you in a few months and see you with a purple Mohawk, piercings and a girlfriend, you hear me?" You nodded at her dramatic remarks and felt yourself internally cringe at her words.

"Hopefully we come back to you with a kind little boyfriend and a college degree we can show off to the rest of the family." Your father said, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders and gave you a tight lipped smile.

"Call us when you get settled and show us your roommate."

"And if they're anything we told you to not look like or if they smoke, drink or are sexually active in public, please change roommates."

They listed off, you internally rolled your eyes but still managed to give them a nod.

"Okay, I get it. Bye." You waved them off and stayed on the sidewalk till their old beat up grey car pulled away from the university.

Sighing, you rolled your shoulders back, grabbed all your things and walked the 10 minutes all the way to your side of the dorms. Personally, you had no clue who your roommate was besides their name but you knew even if you got a wild one you wouldn't change rooms. It didn't matter to you wether or not your roommate had purple hair, while your parents and nearly everyone in life tended to stick their nose in the business of others, you had no care in the world about anybody else.

From the moment you stepped into your new room, your nostrils were immediately being wrapped in by the smell of vanilla and incense. You looked around the room and noticed that only half of it was done up while the other was plain and void of any decoration.

"Hello, who are you?" A soft voice asked politely and there in front of you stood one of the prettiest girls you'd ever seen. She was a short young woman with long, disheveled shoulder-length black hair, a Greek nose and relaxed dark eyes.

"Oh sorry! I'm your new roommate, you're Pieck Finger, right?" You greeted her, shaking her surprisingly soft hands and placing your bags down on the floor next to you.

"Sorry about the smell, I'm lighting some incense to cleanse the new room. I just got here last night."

"Mhm, are you religious?" You asked, pointing to the black leather notebook in her hand. She looked down at it but smiled and shook her head.

"Ah no, I'm Agnostic. Although my childhood friend practices Hinduism and I guess I pick up on some things." She explained, you nodded at her words and made a mental note to ask her what the hell agnostic meant at a later time. Her eyes went down to the bags in your hand and reached out to grab your suitcase.

"Here I got this, I'll put this on your side of the bed and let me know if I can help with setting anything up." She offered kindly, you nodded at her offer and the two of you immediately got to work.

As you folded your clothes into a drawer and hung them up in a closet and Pieck finished wrapping your bed in it's covers and blankets, the two of you talked. Talked as if you'd been friends since birth. Pieck felt like someone you could truly se yourself being friends with in the long run of college, she was also someone your parents would most likely accept and allow you to stay with. The two of you bonded over certain interests, Pieck had a knack for writing — poems, full books, it didn't matter; you were the artistic one. Always doodling on something or recreating famous art paintings in your room, usually religious paintings as your parents always told you that if you were going to have painting as a hobby you might as well paint something useful.

"Finally, we're done." You sighed, exhaustedly throwing yourself onto the newly made bed. Pieck chuckled and stood up, grabbing her belongings and putting them into a small book bag.

"Hey, me and my friends are meeting in the library later, would you like to come?" She asked, you mulled over the idea for a quick second and nodded your head.

The walk from your dorm and the library gave you and Pieck even more time to get to know each other. She explained how most people from her old high school had come to the nearest college, it being this one which is why she never worried about not making any friends. Your eyes nearly popped out of your eye socket as you stepped up to the large library building, it being much bigger than any library your town had to offer. Pieck held the door open for you as you stepped in and took a moment to admire the large area.

"Psst, Pieck!" Whispered a voice, you looked over to see a brown haired woman in big round glasses waving the two of you over with a wide grin on her face. Pieck waved back and walked over the round table with the two other people sitting and you following behind her.

"Hey guys, this is my new roommate. This is—"

"Hange Zoë, nice to meet you!" The glasses wearing woman exclaimed excitedly taking your hand in her and shaking it vigorously. A nearby librarian glared her way and hushed her, she smiled and apologized to the old woman.

"I'm Porco." Replied the blonde boy on the other side of the table dryly.

You waved at him awkwardly and sat down next to Pieck, yet it was only after they began pulling out their books did you realize you had nothing with you. Tapping the dark haired girl on the shoulder, you motioned towards the bookshelf's and stood up to leave once Pieck nodded her head.

You walked around aimlessly with no true destination or book in mind till you came across a bookshelf, this one different than the others and tucked away in a little corner. It was old and basic but it still had integrity. The wood was straight and it hugged the wall. On closer inspection you could see scratches, the wood a little more pale where it had been dinged. You touched the roughness, not minding one bit and looked at the books inside. The fiction section had always been your favorite growing up, your parents believed books like Harry Potter were some sort of books that demonic and plaguing words hidden within them so you only ever grew up reading them in short amounts of time in the library before they could find you.

A small gasp made its way up your throat as your eyes landed across a book titled Alice in Wonderland, one of your top favorites. The ladder that usually came along with each bookshelf was currently being occupied yet this specific bookshelf seemed to take up nearly the entire wall of the library — this might've been one of the first things you couldn't successfully grab with ease. You reached your hand up to grab the book, your fingertips only slightly touching them before the book suddenly disappeared from your grasp and a warm presence creeped up behind you, towering over your frame.

Looking up, your eyes met a pair deep dark eyes staring down at you, the book now forgotten in your mind as it was now clouded with the face of the person in front of you. It was only after a couple seconds that you blinked out of your trance and stepped back, falling straight between the bookshelf and the person. You felt...intimidated. The person in front of you was more than taller than you, a height you thought was nearly impossible. They tilted their head to the side, bent down a bit and held the book out in their hand as your eyes stayed trained on theirs.

"Do you want it?" They asked, you nearly jumped in your skin at the sound of their somewhat deep voice.

"Huh?"

"The book." You looked down and finally registered the fact that they'd picked up the book you were grabbing at and now held it out to  you.

"O-oh right, thank you." You stuttered, mentally cursing yourself for acting this way. While your eyes strayed away from theirs, they went downward to the person's appearance.

They wore a dark green turtleneck sweater paired with high waisted black pants, accentuating their long legs and black lace up Oxford shoes — their entire appearance intimidated you. The center of their nose pierced through with silver piece of jewelry.

"I..." you regretted opening your mouth the second the words came out, "gotta go," the words spilled out of your mouth as you immediately walked around them and towards your table, the interaction still replaying in your head on loop. It wasn't until you rapidly sat yourself down next to Pieck that you felt like you could breath.

You weren't the most social person in the world but you also weren't the most nervous, but they...their presence, their height, the look in their eyes, it all seemed to send you into frenzy. Ignoring the slightly worried look you got from Pieck, you open the notebook given to you and tried to let the interaction seep away into your memories. Yet it didn't work. Every word on the paper seemed to fly over your head, your mind never sticking to the sentences given to you. Hell, you could barley read about Alice's shitty life without comparing it to what had just occurred. It was all too fresh. Too new. Too...interesting.

"Mornin' Pieck." Greeted a deep voice from behind you, turning around you were faced with a tall blonde haired man with small circle glasses resting on his nose.

"Good mornin, Zeke." Pieck responded kindly, the man looked around the table greeting everyone till his eyes met yours.

"I don't think I've met you before, and who must you be?" He bowed down respectfully and held out his hand, you looked at it confused for a second before sliding your hand into his and watching as he leaned his head down to plant a kiss at the back of your hand.

Before you could protest, a different hand gripped Zeke's shoulder, he pulled away and turned around to find his female companion standing above him with a blank expression on her face — one he'd gotten used to over the course of their friendship. Meanwhile your breath was caught in your throat at the sight of the intimidating person you'd met only moments before.

"Your book, Zeke." They said plainly, Zeke pulled away from you and took the textbook of their hands, thanking them and skimming through the textbook as both of your eyes never left theirs.

"Good morning, Yelena." Pieck greeted her with a smile, finally, Yelena's eyes drifted away from yours and were now on Pieck, the sides of her lips quirking up into a smirk for a second.

"Good morning, Pieck." Your eyes went back and forth between them in confusion until another person popped up behind Zeke.

"Hey guys, hey hange, Pieck." The dark haired man bun wearing boy said, leaning his arm against Zeke's shoulder despite them being the same height.

"Guess I'm just invisible then" spoke up Porco with an offended look on his face, the dark haired boy simply looked at him and blinked.

"Oh no I knew you were there, I just don't care. Anyways, are you guys coming to my big party tonight?" He asked excitedly, Zeke scoffed and pushed his glasses further up his face.

"Tch, we're not children, Eren. Why would we go to some teenage party?" Eren scoffed at the blonde mans response.

"Yeah obviously not you, old man, you're fucking ancient. I was talking to Pieck and..." he looked at you with a confused expression before shrugging and pointing at you, "and her."

"I'm not even that old—"

"Sorry, Eren but you already know my answer." She apologized, Eren pouted and groaned.

"Oh come on, please, Pieck? The last time you went everybody loved you, please?" He begged Pieck, placing his hands on her arm that was leaned against the wooden chair she sat at.

"Aw sorry, kid. I love them all too but I gotta tutoring session today." She apologized sympathetically, patting the boys head and turning to you, "what about you?"

You jumped at the sudden spotlight on you but shook your head regardless, "If Pieck's not going then neither am I." Eren groaned again and tried puppy dog eyes on the long haired woman in front of him.

"Look Pieck, you're deriving your new friend here with the experience of a fun college party." She smiled at his explanation which apparently told Eren enough that he stopped bugging her and stood up to his full height, slamming his shoulder into Zeke's as he walked away and mumbled something under his breath. Zeke almost turned around to go after him until Yelena outstretched her arm to stop him.

"He's a child." She pointed out

"He's a little shit, is what he is." Zeke complained, you looked over at Hange for information.

"They're brothers." She stated, your mouth made an o shape as you finally came to understand why the two seemed to have so much beef between them.

"Half brothers, Hange. Don't associate me with that brat." Zeke huffed, everyone chuckling at the mans clear discomfort with him and Eren being in the same room let alone sentence. "Anyways, we've gotta go, me and Yelena have business to take care of." Zeke said.

"Jeez, you make it sound like the two of you are hooking up." Porco mentioned with a disgusted look on his face,

"What if we are?" He joked playfully until he looked up to see Yelena towering over him with a straight look on her face, Zeke cleared his throat and shook his head, "Kidding, kidding."

The two of them walked out of the library and the three other people at your table continued on their reading while your mind was racked with a bunch of questions of the new characters you just met. You tried to avoid eye contact with Yelena when she was leaving but could still feel her piercing gaze stay onto you until she couldn't anymore.

"So are they?" You inquired with a whisper, leaning over Pieck's shoulder

"Are they what?"

"Zeke and Yelena. Are they..." you raised your eyebrows as the words clicked in Pieck's mind and the other two at the table began laughing into their books.

"No, sweetie, they're not sleeping together or dating." She denied

"Pfft, the day we see Yelena with a man is the day pigs fly." Chuckled Porco, you looked at them confused at their jokes.

"Yelena's a lesbian, babe." Pieck finished your thought and your eyes slightly widened at her response, not expecting it. Embarrassment silently creeped into your mind as you groaned and tucked your head into your arms.

"Well now I feel stupid." The three of them laughed and Pieck rubbed your back.

For some reason, those words felt like a small weight lifted off your shoulders. You couldn't understand why you felt so...happy that she wasn't with Zeke in that way. Maybe you just wanted to her friend. Yeah....that had to be it....her friend.

#yelena #yelena aot #attack on titan #pieck x y/n #pieck finger #pieck x yelena #hange zoë #porco x reader #snk season 4 #eren yeager #zeke yeager

[robogreaser]

This is a Long Time Coming...

It’s been a relatively hard task to sit down and make sense of, well, a lot of things as of late. I could chalk it up to the state of the world, but it’s been troublesome for significantly longer than that.

Long Story Short Version: I’ve been in a hell of a place, mentally, physically, and otherwise.

The proper story is a hell of a lot more involved than that and I know damned right well it’s going to take me a fair bit to explain myself and my various professional and social failings over the past... while. I’m gonna try to contain this under a read more, of course, but I apologize to mobile users if tumblr fucks that up.

Okay. That took a fair more bit of effort to figure out than I remember. Which, I suppose, is a fair enough bit of a segue into one thing that’s happened to me.

Tumblr has been deteriorating.

Whether I like to admit it or not, tumblr has been my go to social media platform since... 2011. Yeah. I’ve spent the vast majority of the decade here. I’ve seen a lot. Sure, I’ve lurked elsewhere, but I really cannot stand the interface and nature of a lot of other social media, especially the likes of twitter. Unfortunately for me, this place has been in constant decline for years now at this point. It extends well beyond the porn ban, but that’s a whole separate discussion.

I’ve lost touch with a lot of people I care about, some vanishing into the ether, some ghosting me, some just drifting into other communities or onto other sites. I’ve come to terms with the majority of this. It’s been happening for a while. It’s the very nature of digital relationships. It hurt, and I do think it’s contributed to a fair bit of stress and depression that has resulted in my... withdrawal from online spaces. It’s not a major factor, but its here, it’s present, it’s a factor in all of this.

I’ll be honest in that, well, I’ve tried to make this post several times over the past several weeks and months. It’s hard. Talking about my issues, using ‘I’ and ‘me’ so much in a post... it’s a bit jarring. But I’ll try to suck it up.

It’s been ten years (god I fucking hate time) since I’ve graduated high school. Yeah. It’s a fair thing to say that, on reflection, that’s incredibly jarring. The vast majority of that time has been... relatively unstable. I spent a fair few years working on my book and my publishing journey, now all but scrubbed clean from this blog (more on that later) and... well... Trying to be an adult. I’ve applied to, gotten accepted, and had to withdrawn from my dream school twice in this time. I’ve had a fair few jobs, nothing worthy of my resume, and lost all of them in one form or another, whether being fired for retaliating to my shitty work conditions, or, well, quitting for the sake of my own health during this pandemic. There has been a lot of family troubles. I’ve been through a lot of... ‘varied’ living situations, some horrendous, some just stressful, some, like now, actually really good compared to the others. And for the past few years in particular, it’s been constantly one thing after another, nonstop.

In short, progress is slow, but it’s happening. I don’t care to delve into a lot of these sorts of personal details lest this get to a ridiculous length, but that’s the short of the stuff I’d rather gloss over.

I’ve been on a health... Let’s call it a journey. I’ve been on a health journey. Over the past few years I’ve gone through the long processes of being diagnosed with ADHD, discussing my options regarding my depression and anxiety, and finally getting myself on a medication regimen that works. And then, because the health care system is a joke, I was without insurance. I had been off my medication, an absolute lifesaver and release of burden on my garbage tier brain, for eighteen months. Until last week. I think it’s fair to say, between my revolving door of living situations, employment, and then being un-medicated in a continually more stressful environment... That this is the main reason I’ve been absent. I’ve had no focus. There were weeks where I had no drive to do anything outside of routine that others depended on. I had not only gone back to how I was before situating my mental health, but in some ways, found a worse state.

Finances have been slowly eating away at me. I had been working a part time retail job until November, which made decent enough money, but not nearly for the amount of work and responsibility I was handling. I got fired. I found work with one of the big, corporate postal services. The pay was phenomenal, but it began to actively destroy my health, mainly physically, but also mentally, especially considering I was working a graveyard shift. Eventually when I began having prolonged health issues there, and then a whole lot of the symptoms of covid-19, on top of them turning me down for an entry-level position outside of the package handling, I had to quit. This was shortly after the lockdowns, in early April, and I refuse to look back despite people like my parents insisting on me trying to get work there again. Sure, the pay was phenomenal compared to anything else I had until then, but I cant continue to sacrifice my health. As of now, I’m unemployed, and... well...

I’m working on my commission queue. It’s art. It’s stuff I’ve owed friends (luckily those who are incredibly understanding and good to me) for an embarrassing amount of time, even before moving to and from Oklahoma at the end of 2016. I’m terrified of being the person who is known for taking commissioners’ money and running.

I know, I’m not good at giving updates. I’m not good at a consistent work schedule. I’ve had numerous tech failings over the past few years that constantly slow my roll on any progress I have made. Hell, I’ve had files corrupt despite being two thirds of the way complete when transferring from one computer to another. I’ve lost my cable for my external hard drive. I’ve had my tablet go to hell and back multiple times. But I am working. I am trying. I am sitting down as often as I can between looking for work and managing family nonsense to try and get my workload tidied up.

Which... brings me to my next point. And one I’m rather... ashamed about.

I have used trello, infrequently, since taking on a large load of commissions, and despite not being faithfully updating it and checking back on it, and using it to it’s fullest potential, I had kept, at the minimum, a list of all the work I did owe people using it. Well. Dumbass me attempted to use a mobile app. In short, in an effort to try and make myself tech literate and allow me easier access to my queue, I ended up deleting it. Somehow.

I’ve gone through and slowly flagged all my paypal notices and various emails concerning my commissions. I’m putting it together again. I’m trying. Granted, I am damned sure I am going to be missing someone, somewhere, somehow. I know it. I’ve got a shit brain, and despite my need for organization and minimalism, I don’t put it past me to have missed something along the way.

If you have commissioned me, please, do not hesitate to reach out and contact me regarding your commission. I owe every last one of you a massive apology for my continued failure to produce what you have paid for.

More likely than not, I have a wip already started somewhere, and if not, I have a slew of reference and thumbnails already compiled together somewhere on my computers. I am not ignoring this work. It’s been painfully, embarrassingly slow. It’s been one obstacle after another. But I have every intention of doing this work, and, likely, upgrading the quality of the finished piece past what my commissioners have paid for simply because I do feel bad about the wait time.

I have been inexcusably unprofessional. I know this and I am working as best I can with the time and resources I have to correct it.

In a similar vein, as I mentioned before, I have slowly been cleaning up my rather unimpressive publishing attempts. I’ve gone through and cleaned this blog recently, deleting reference to my work by name and the process of trying to get myself published. I may have missed a few posts here and there, but for the most part I would like a clean slate in regards to building a social media platform surrounding my written work. And this is the part where... I am probably going to be the most upfront and honest with you reading this than I have been publicly before.

I am not ashamed of who I’ve been online these past ten years or so, but it reflects only a sliver of my personality, a sliver of who I am as a whole. I catered to a very specific subset of who I am in pursuit of finding acceptance in communities much larger than myself. I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in that time. I figured out what’s important to me, my health, my sexuality, my relationships and my long term goals. I’ve found a very important group of friends. I’ve found people who understand and empathize with a lot of the things I have been through, experience, and am at my core.

But the fact of the matter is, this hypersexual, sci-fi aesthetic-oriented, very open person is only a singular facet. And it is not nearly enough of a reflection of who I am, or who I want to be as a professional, public adult. Will I always be gay for robots? Yes. Will I, when time permits and creative energies are present, continue to make nsfw art? Absolutely. Will I always have a toe dipped in erotic literature and the like? Most likely.

But a lot of me, a lot of my emotion and strife and feelings regarding most things in the world, are completely separate from this. It’s separate from me liking porn on twitter or having a homestuck roleplay blog. It’s separate from who I am in real life, with my boyfriend or with my family or with my work. And I have been dwelling on this, sincerely, for a while. I need to allocate more energy into my life. The separate life offline and online too, where I am pursuing an actual professional career, because, at the end of the day, I want to be an author. I want to have a career telling stories. And, in my time online, I’ve found a lot of skeletons in authors’ closets, the kind that really put mine to shame, and the kind that will always be a footnote to their work. You know the ones.

I want my creative work to speak for itself. I want people to be able to enjoy what I do without a specter, without my time and energy having to explain to a future audience why it is I had explicit thoughts about x,y, and z. I want to be able to write a book, write many books, and have people enjoy them without a footnote about me, a person with a sexual life and a history exploring it through years of depression and isolation, clouding it. It’s not fair to my work. It’s not fair to a future reader. It’s not fair to me.

I’ve got several social media accounts made and slowly coming to life that I need to spend more time with as I try and pursue this new, second leg of a very long journey into publishing. I’m not going to link those here, now or in the future. It’s likely a few people I know and trust have access to them. But I am, effectively starting over from scratch trying to build a platform as a writer. And it’s hard. Juggling that, alongside all of the things in the world today, alongside family and my relationships, alongside my commission queue? It bears down on me and if I didn’t have experience handling more than one thing at a time, I might trip up more frequently. Hell, I forget to post and use those new accounts regularly.

But I’m trying.

I’m not moving away from my current social circles or hobbies or anything like that. I’m not abandoning any fandom or friends or communities. But I am going to be trying to balance myself more thoughtfully moving forward, past just commissions, past just writing.

I’m here. I’m moving forward, slowly but surely, and I am making an effort to improve.

#jesus christ mike shut up

[bubblyani]

Treasure You (Pt. 2)

(Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

Part Two Of Lucifer Morningstar Two Shot

Rating : Mature

Author’s Note: So happy of how this part came about. Every moment I spent writing this was precious. Filled with right amount of Angst, Fluff and Smut, hope y’all enjoy this! 😈❤️

Part 1 HERE

With your legs shaking frantically, You were suddenly aware of the flesh covered frame that was your body even more. Staring at the sky through the glass window, you clearly felt alone enough to reminisce all that happened out loud. The sting that his stubble left on the soft skin of your neck, every inch of your thighs that received his touch were evident souvenirs. Souvenirs of the impossible and unexpected.

A little part of you longed to jump up and down, squeal in glee. But you wholeheartedly didn’t want to. Because it didn’t feel right.

Your logical reasoning made you question yourself: What are you really doing?

Putting your legs down, you sat right up. Exactly, why were you wasting your time sitting up here all alone, whilst the life of the party was downstairs. The ‘Life’ that was wrapped around your body a few minutes ago, to be exact.

Smoothing your hair, straightening your dress, reapplying your lipstick, your heels clicked as you rushed to the elevator.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

The elevator doors opened with their usual ding, revealing the amorous spectacle that was LUX. Only that your ears didn’t drown in loud music, but with just one voice commanding the room instead.

You froze. It was his voice.

“…and it is my great pleasure to have you all here tonight. Though I’ll be more than pleased to have you all here ever night...”

Laughter erupted from the crowd as Lucifer’s velvet voice continued to fill in, his humor amplified through the microphone.

Stepping out of the elevator, you saw him standing a few feet away to your right. As he raised his glass, Lucifer grinned to his fullest.

“Cheers...”

“CHEERS!” The crowd replied with glee, and with his signal, the music made its entrance, joyous cries were met, and  the party began.

You realized how even the simplest words sounded undeniably pleasing in his voice. Like how you realize it over and over again.

You watched him glide down the stairs , walking into the crowds with ease, with confidence. Dozens of glasses clicked to satisfaction, while dozen pair of eyes were blessed with his flashing smile. Surely the loins of all occupants would catch on fire, and he would be to blame.  Chuckling, you had to admit, you were always impressed by his charm.

Spinning around, Lucifer’s eyes suddenly caught your own, and you were surprised when he froze in response. His joyous expression had vanished, replaced with a serious one instead. Your heart grew heavy to see him look so vulnerable, as if he just let his guard down. This was not what you wanted from him. Turning away, you descended down the stairs in a flash, hoping to relieve him.

Should I just go?

Settling on an empty corner of a couch, you took in a deep breath, wondering why you thought that, and whether you should really act on it. Looking up, you longed to be distracted by the music that moved the bodies in hypnosis. Tapping your feet, you drank in how each frame moved in its own groove. It made you smile for a minute. For it was not so long before when you found yourself dancing here for the first time ever. You remembered oh so clearly.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(A few months ago, LUX)

The wait outside was so worth it, for you were clearly having a great time at LUX. Upon your friend’s insistence, you may have stepped out the apartment with hesitation but you didn’t regret it one bit. Drowning in your own screams of happiness , flashing lights had nothing on you as a brighter smile flashed across your face while your limbs moved to the rhythm. You didn’t deny that more people stepped into the dance floor once you warmed it up a bit.  When you danced, you danced your worries away. The fire you had in you was not containable. And you could do nothing but cause Forrest fires wherever you extended your arms or swayed your hips.

“Oh my god...”

“It’s him...it’s him”

“He’s so hot”

The sudden shrill of your friends voices irritated you whilst your body rolled.

“Guys…” you panted, turning to face them “What the hell-“

You fell silent, upon seeing the figure that stood before you.

If Tall, Dark and Handsome had an official visual description, he would be the clear winner.

“I’m afraid you’re making us all look bad” He said,with his evident British accent.

“Huh?”  Genuine concern filled your face. But he merely smiled in return. Your friend was right. He was hot.

“My dancers…” he said, pointing at the women on the boxes, “...you’re making them look bad. Are you trying to steal their jobs?” He asked teasingly, his smile never leaving.

“Oh haha…” you laughed, covering your mouth “ that…I mean this…hehe” you looked down embarrassingly, “I thought you were being serious for a moment there…”

“Well I am…” the man replied, making you look back at him with raised eyebrows “I couldn’t help but be fascinated by what I just saw earlier ...you’re...quite the gifted dancer, filled  with the vigor I truly admire in you humans”

You chuckled, “You humans ? What are you? An alien?”

“Oh the Devil in fact...” he grinned widely.

Shaking your head, you said, “Well...the best moves are not for...everyone”

“Oh my…” you heard the sensuality in his curious tone, “... only the exclusive ones then?”

With hands on your waist, you took one more step, until you were merely inches away from his beautiful face.

“Just the one…” you purred, “...whoever is lucky”

“Ooooh...” he purred back, not holding anything back.

You swore his lips never looked so clear as it grew closer to yours.

Until you suddenly giggled.

“Ahahah…Was I doing it right?” You chuckled. Forcing him to furrow his eyebrows with confusion.

“Doing what?”

“Flirting...” you laughed, “...I’m really sorry...I’m normally not so good at it”

Realizing the situation, he laughed along with you.

“Well I find that hard to believe...” he said, extending his hand, “...Lucifer Morningstar”

“Y/N Y/L/N!” You said, holding his hand with no hesitation, “Very...very nice to meet you”

Suddenly you felt like your body and soul was a magnet, for you could not help but be drawn to him. But you knew it was clearly lust sneak attacking you.

“Please...Allow me to get the next round ladies” Lucifer hailed the bartender, inciting cries of  from your friends.

“Oh Wow…”

“Thank you Lucifer”

Smiling with soft eyes, you were definitely pleased with the result. And suddenly it was not lust that kept you company.

The DJ managed to get your attention out of the blue.

“Oh man…” you closed your eyes, “I loove this song!”

Throwing your hands up in the air, you spun around, tip toeing over to the dance floor once more. All your friends however, flocked around Lucifer like bees to honey. Their eyes were filled with desire that he wasn’t a stranger to. Therefore, your warm joyous ones proved to be more interesting.

It was only later that night on the way home, one of your drunk yet envious friends accidentally remarked how Lucifer Morningstar turned out to be worse than expected.

“What? How is it possible? I find that hard to believe...”

“Yeah, I bet it’s hard when you’re too busy dancing to even notice”

“What could he have possibly done? Did he grope someone?” You asked mockingly.

“Pft...he barely even paid any attention to any of us...”

“Well he’s a club owner...if he was looking at his phone ...maybe he was working probably...I don’t know”you said, taking a sip of your beer.

“Yeah...working his eyes on you...”

“Wha?...”your eyes widened, “Really?...” which came out softer than expected. Where did all the alcohol go? As you felt suddenly sober. Your friend nodded, snatching your bottle away while the other hailed a cab.

Shaking your head frantically, you rubbed your eyes.

Nope, that’s not possible.

Your curiosity didn’t stop you from stopping by the club again one night. Only it wasn’t the same.

“Ah...Ms. Y/L/N! You’re back!”

Lucifer Morningstar welcomed you with literal open arms the moment you stepped inside.

“Yeah...had quite a tiring day at work so...why not blow off some steam!” You smirked, as he guided you to the bar “although something strange did happen earlier...”

“Oh? ...do tell” he said with curiosity, ordering drinks while you sat.  

“Donald from outside...he immediately recognized me. Didn’t even let me wait on queue...” you chuckled, nodding to thank the bartender once you received your drink, suddenly making you pause.     “As if ...someone...remembered” you slowed down, realization rich in your voice as you looked at Lucifer’s proud face. With a low chuckle, he winked, making you catch your breath for a second.

“Well I couldn’t really forget a beautiful face...or...your face to be exact”  

“Hah...smooth move!”!

“Well you can’t blame me for trying...” he said, raising his glass.

“To a new friendship” he said.

You raised yours along with him.

“To Ms. Y/L/N!” He added. You shook your head.

“Y/N...please” you corrected, longing to hear him call out your name. Looking into your warm eyes, he toasted as the glasses clinked.

“Y/N...”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

(Present)

“Y/N!”

You were awakened from your short reminiscence as you heard Maze’s voice next to you. The beautiful young woman stood there, shoving a glass of whiskey in your hand.

“You look like you could use a drink” she said coolly.

“Thanks… I guess” you said, accepting it. With a slight nod, she left your sight.

No matter what she thought of you, you always adored Maze. You admired her ferocity and strength, and you certainly thought her to be beautiful.

Watching the ice cubes swim in the whiskey glass, you sighed heavily. You wanted to drink so badly.You wished to take in sips, with each sip helping you to wash away every single shitty feeling. But at the same time, you didn’t feel like it.

Everything felt so contradictory. It all felt uneasy, unanswered. You didn’t know what to do.

Before you worry yourself to exhaustion, you took a huge gulp.

Seeing Lucifer amongst those lucky women, seeing him play his flirtatious charm, seeing those innocent yet lust inducing touches here and there, left you a burn in your heart which did not seem so different from the burn you felt down your throat from that sip of whiskey.

Those burns revealed nothing but jealousy. You wished you were as carefree and adventurous as they were, for if you were you would certainly be there amongst them, happy and entranced.

But instead, there you were. Sitting on the corner, confused and envious, longing for him like an addict in withdrawal. Wishing he’d look your way with a smile instead of uncertainty.

What have you done?

Did you officially lose that close relationship you managed to build with this man?

Ever since your acquaintance, it did not take long for the both of you to form a special friendship. One where you two would unknowingly end up sharing countless nights sharing his stories and adventures with Detective Decker over glasses of whiskey or cups of tea at his penthouse. He would lean more towards the whiskey while you’d insist he cut down for the sake of his health.

“Bloody Hell! What are you ? My mother?” He’d laugh.

“If being concerned makes me your mother...so be it!” You’d say, as you involuntarily pinch his cheek.

“Ooops...” you’d say, “ that’s the whiskey in my tea acting out” giggling, you’d fall off your chair, erupting more laughter from him.

You chuckled, never tired of that  wonderful memory. But that chuckle suddenly faded for it was merely just a memory now.

Should I just go?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hours passed, and yet the party spirit continued to conquer the night. LUX was never a disappointment.

While the others indulged in a constant high, you were definitely stewing in an all time low. Your mind filled with a dozen questions.

Were you wrong to act out? To step out of the line?

Will awkward silences and nervous glances forever replace the warm greetings and passionate conversations? You dreaded it.

And just like that, another nightmare was just added to your list.

Should I just go?

Yes, maybe you should, You thought. Unmoved from your seat the whole evening, you certainly did feel like a complete fool that night.

Getting up in an instant, you walked towards the stairs with a heavy heart. If you leave now, you could at least cry yourself to sleep alone. Yes there will be tears, but at least it’ll help you sleep faster.

Just the thought of it made your nose itch, you wanted to disappear into thin air.

But you suddenly felt a strong grip on your wrist, pulling you back. Automatically turning, you found it was Lucifer standing next to you.

“Lucifer!” You exclaimed. His eyes remained serious and his grip remained tight. Was he watching you all this time?

But before you could speak further, you felt him drag you back from the stairs. Walking through the intoxicated crowds, you followed him with complete confusion.

“Uh...” you began, “Lucifer ...what’s going on?”

Every woman you passed shot nothing but looks of intense jealousy. Surprising how Lucifer Morningstar brought out the sin in everyone. He did not take you to the bar, nor to the dance floor, not even to the piano. Instead you climbed upstairs with him, only to face the elevator doors opening up before the both of you.

“Seriously...” you murmured with concern, as you both entered, “you’re making me worried now Lucifer...”

His gaze on you intensified as seconds went by, and the moment those doors closed, you felt your wrist being set free.

Allowing Lucifer to cup your face, capturing your lips with his instead.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Sweet reminiscence bounced back to you as your lips made its entrancing journey with Lucifer’s own once again. His kisses had literal addiction written on them, intoxicating you more and more. Everything you could be, you became. You melted, you were intoxicated, you were liberated.

Seemed like you felt like a fool for clearly nothing.

With the elevator doors opening to his penthouse, Lucifer slowly guided you inside, lips still glued to yours with devotion.

The way he held you, safety was the only word you could describe it.

You felt him lowering himself slightly, just so that he could lift you up with ease, wrapping your legs around him. Lost in his lips, you hadn’t the slightest clue of your location until he finally broke away, setting you on top of the bar table.

Perched on the table with your legs spread wide, you sat there, with a face so flushed, and lips gratefully swollen. Heavy pants filled the background as he looked up at your state. For a second you felt like a part of divinity, for his gaze was filled with faith. Finally getting some strength in, you pushed yourself off the table, lightly landing on your tipped toes to find yourself standing in front of him. You found it adorable how he mildly reacted to your landing, making sure you’re alright. Hands infected with life, your slowly extended them out. Fingertips impatiently rested on his chest, grazing, moving further out till you were successfully able to push the jacket off his torso.

Lucifer Morningstar need not strip to arouse you, for his simple yet sophisticated white shirt covering his Adonis like frame sufficed more than ever. Grabbing you by the waist, his lips engulfed yours, inciting a gasp from you. This time his lips took their sweet time, as if he had all the time in the world. They even went far as to slowly allow his tongue take part, letting it beg its way into your own. You moaned as they entwined, deepening the kiss, allowing you to wrap your arms around his neck to bring yourself closer. He may be savoring but he certainly did not waste his time either, for Lucifer’s hands found its way around the zipper of your dress, gently unzipping it down. You suddenly shivered by the contact of his fingers on your now-exposed back, making him break away with a concerned look.

“You okay?” He asked breathlessly. The softness in his voice was filled with intimacy that you had not experienced before. And you must admit it quite suited him as well. Flames birthed in you with such strength you did not need to reply with words. Pulling him back, you kissed him with enough passion to assure him you were more than okay.  

The passion was transferable, and doubling in Lucifer, the only way he could respond was surprising. Growling into your lips, you winced as you heard him tear the ends of your dress, letting it fall to the floor.

You didn’t hesitate quickly unhooking your balconette bra, tossing it aside quickly before pressing yourself against him even further.

Lips breaking away, Lucifer made his surprising discovery. No explanations required, he witnessed a little fantasy that had been dwelling inside you. Running your fingers over his shirt, you savored the material gingerly, whilst moving against his chest, allowing your bare breasts to be a part of the pleasure as your nipples hardened by the graze of the white shirt and the sculpted body beneath  it.

Lips parted, Lucifer had quite a hard time watching only you participating in the pleasure, especially when your lips rested on his Adam’s apple, placing feathery kisses all over it.

“Oh Y/N...” he breathed pleadingly, which seemed quite surprising. Before you could make a snarky remark, he shushed you with his kisses, swiftly lifting you up to carry you in his arms bridal style until ending up at his bedroom.

You felt your body bounce the moment it hit the bed, breaking you away from Lucifer whilst he stood before you. Slipping off your shoes , you quickly got up to see him unbuttoning his shirt in a rush that you have not seen. And for some odd reason, you felt the urge to help him out, bending down to untie his shoe laces.

Loud chuckles from Lucifer alerted you of his surprise.

“Y/N-“

“You’re welcome...” you said as you looked up with a smug expression.

And your good deed did not end up unappreciated, for you stood up to see him peeling off his shirt.

“You know...” you said, unbuckling his pants “...having an elevator open into your penthouse is real fancy and shit but... it’s quite the privacy killer sometimes, don’t you think?” You breathed into his cheek.

“Well... given the previous experiences I will not disagree with you” he replied, nose brushing against yours. You giggled.  

“But...” he said, with the firm grip of your arm, “...make no mistake, this will not be interrupted by anyone. Even if anyone comes through that door, I won’t...even ...notice”

His piercing gaze alongside his seriousness in those words certainly left you with more arousal. Not to mention when he successfully managed to strip down completely.

Truthfully you have seen him in his bare but confident glory before. But every time you did, you were polite and decent about it. You’d look away or tighten your temples with a firm sense to understand that it was merely a piece of anatomy and nothing more. But tonight, seeing the man you secretly and unknowingly harbored feelings for fully stripped down, certainly pressed some buttons of your own.

Backing away, you climbed on to the bed, moving back as he followed suit, his eyes fixated on you. He was the lion and you were the lamb. Except the lamb was impatient to be the prey.

Standing on your knees, you welcomed the lion’s pounce as Lucifer kissed you once again, holding you firmly by the waist. Your palms wandered frantically over his torso, filling you with greed for him. For he was simply and most definitely, irresistible.

The moment his hands left your waist, you broke away with a soft moan as they dug into your panties, cupping the bare flesh of your buttocks tightly.

Panting, you held his face, inhaling deeply wearing a pair of serious eyes.

“I’m not-“ you paused ,”I’m not like other women you’ve been with...” you said, shrugging your shoulders shyly “...clearly you can see I’m not...beautiful that way...”

Lucifer shot you a look of immense shock. As if you were blabbering words of insanity. Pressing your lips,You blushed with embarrassment.

“It’s tru-“

His hungry kisses kept you from finishing that sentence, pushing you back to the bed as a result. Taking your hands, he securely placed them on his neck. Instead of using comforting or contradicting words, he opposed your statement and clear insecurity with his lips. Given the man he was, you were pretty sure the women were the ones to throw themselves at him at a time like this. Therefore you were obviously surprised when you felt those hungry kisses wandered all over your body. His kisses lit small sparks of fire on you, and he was the devout and enthusiastic carrier of the flame. The kisses were even and generous, each one curiously moving from your jawline to your collarbone, to the curves and the buds of your heaving breasts, to your protruding hips. Your vocal responses were forthright, moans growing loud and free, impatient to show your appreciation. And those fires felt even hotter when you swore you felt his noticeable erection press against your thigh.

As if sharing telepathy, Lucifer came to your dire need, pulling your panties down in an instant. The region between your thighs was of abundant wetness, exposed to the open air for a few seconds. But it was clearly not when you were left with a loud gasp as he quickly inserted himself in you.

Eyes lost in each other, bodies wrapped around one another, you held on to his ethereally yet sinfully beautiful face. You held with heart, while Lucifer Morningstar began to move inside you, while he set off to discover new found passions for you, while he finally proceeded to make amorous love to you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Your eyes fluttered, like the wings of a butterfly as you woke up to the soft melody created by piano keys. It soothed you. It made you smile. It relieved you to know, that he was nearby. Lucifer was nearby.

The rays of the morning sun filtered through the glass window, falling on your naked back as you slowly sat up. The way the keys were tickled the music  encouraged you to drag yourself out of empty bed, put on the white shirt that was laying on the floor, to tip toe your way out to see Lucifer playing the piano.

You dared not interrupt, but merely stood there to listen in silence. Lively would be his usual mood, but this morning his fingers spoke nothing but gentleness with heart. You watched him with pride, you listened to him with The moment the last note was hit, he turned back to you.

“Sorry if I woke you...”

You shook your head, “Don’t…It was the best alarm ever” you said with a smile. He smiled back shyly.

“I couldn’t help it…”

“And that’s great cause you know how much I love to watch you play...” you said, with your hands clasped together and much enthusiasm , “I make the most noise when you hit those keys with passion...ah!”

Realizing the possible dirty imagery that could be behind it, along with his naughty expression borne as a result, you snorted with laughter, covering your mouth. Tempted by the sight of him patting his lap as an invitation, You walked towards him. Wearing just his boxers, he wrapped one arm around you as you sat down.  

His eyes widened with surprise after you swooped in to give a tender but long peck on his cheek.

Humming softly, Lucifer moved towards  your lips, surprised even more when you placed your fingers to stop him.

“...my morning breath...” you murmured, wearing a nervous smile, “it must be horrible...” you hated that you suddenly felt so conscious of the smallest things. Saving you the train of thoughts, Lucifer held you by the chin, leaning forward to kiss you deeply. With his tongue embracing your own in a hurry, he proved you wrong once again.

“Oh...” he sighed, forehead pressed against yours, “ I should stop before I carry you back to bed again”

“Oh wow...” you chuckled shyly.

“This ...”he said, thumb grazing over your lips, looking at you, “...this was long long overdue”

“It was...” you said, breathless by his touch.

Lucifer paused for a few seconds, “Earlier you asked me, why I let you stick around”

You nodded in acknowledgment. Holding your hand tightly, he inhaled deep.

“It’s because I consider you as my equal”

This was definitely not what you expected. Putting your other hand over his, you listened.

“The respect you showed me was genuine. I felt respected” he said, “Not that I ever needed  anyone’s approval but, as a club owner, as a businessman, with my adventurous habits, you didn’t take your time to judge, nor were you hungry to gain something from me in return”.

He said, a warm smile growing in his face.

“You were sincere. You are sincere. It...” he paused, “...comforted me”

“Lucifer...” you said, your tone laced with softness. For you could not believe what you just heard, “Of course I respect you” you continued, “ You’re my dearest friend” you said, pinching his stubble cheek.

“I just never thought you’d have feelings further than that...” you said with a smile, to which he chuckled deeply.

“Oh believe me...” he began, “...it was quite the difficult task to wipe your image out of my head, regardless of all the women” he said, “I mean...with them It was always enjoyable to be fair...”

You scoffed whilst nodding.

“ I bet it was…” you continued, “...some of those women are just breathtaking…”

“Yes...” he added, “...but…I’d always have a moment, wondering how it would have been if was you instead. You in my arms, all to myself” his voice suddenly hinted lust.

“Good...” you replied, “I’m glad I have that effect” you said, running your own fingers over his lips.

“It was strange indeed...” Lucifer remarked, his tone quickly changing to curiosity, “We had endless nights of spending time together, yet not once did I see you look at me with the carnal fascination and desire you showed last night”

You laughed, shaking your head.

“Well what can I say...” you shrugged with a proud smile , “I’m very good at friend-zoning people. Until last night, that is “ you said, biting your lower lip.

“Oh Y/N…last night, for a minute it felt like it was a dream...” he said, “ ...like it was an illusion or something temporary that I couldn’t get my grasp on-“

“But I’m here. I’m still here” you assured him, “It happened for real. This is real” you held his face adoringly, taking a deep breath for you needed some courage as you continued:

“I’m in love with you Lucifer”

“Don’t...”

He said, quickly holding your hands. You were confused, especially when he kissed them with desperation.

“I don’t want you to regret those words...” he said with a solemn expression. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Why would I regret them?” You scoffed with surprise, “Last night…i regretted nothing”

“There’s...” he hesitated, “...something you need to know…about who I am”

“Whats there to know?...you’re ‘Lucifer’ Morningstar...of course I know” you suddenly began talking in high speed, as if he were to disappear any moment, “What? Did you do something? Are you a criminal ? Cause guess what? I don’t care...I love you anyways” you stopped, realizing how desperate you were yourself.

Lucifer smiled with a hint of sadness.

“ No, I’m not a criminal...I’m far worse. I’m the devil”

“Of course I know that” you said, “You’ve told me many times”

“No...but I really am”

“What do you mean? I-“

Your eyes widened as that red glint in his eyes from earlier, reappeared once again. And suddenly the red was not only in his eyes anymore. Yet your hold on him did not loosen.

Speak of the devil.

____________________________________________

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading.

Check my LUCIFER MASTERLIST here :)

#tom ellis #lucifer #lucifer imagines #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #treasure you #part

[angrypixie-sarisa]

The other Winchester

Piedras Rodantes Pt. 13

Sam x Mexican!Witch!fem!reader x Dean (polyamorous)

Summary: Two months had passed, Sam was definetely in hell and there was nothing to do about it. And then, you met Dean. 

Warnings: swearing, fighting. 

Do i have an excuse for putting this GIF other than loving the scene and Tessa Thompson? Nope. 

GIF’s not mine, credits and love to the owner. 

Dean came out of the bar he was at. He had been catching a bite with his co-workers and as soon as he finished his food and made some more small talk, he called it a day. He usually used Lisa as an excuse, but to be completely honest, it felt weird. He wasn’t used to having friends that weren’t hunters and his hunter friends, the real ones, they were all primarily dead. It felt like everything he did, accepting to go out and grab a bite or a beer was more for the facade he put in front of others, another character like the so many FBI agents he used to play.

With Lisa, it was another story. He felt more relaxed with her and Ben. He got to live that dream he thought it was long lost. He had a family.

As Dean started climbing his pick-up, a shadow caught his eye. He looked around, only to catch a female moving figure exiting the bar. He knew you. Well, not exactly, but he had seen you, everywhere. You just had acquired a small house in the same neighborhood as Lisa’s. You had passed several times through their street, jogging, and also were at almost all the places Ben liked to eat at.

He clenched his jaw. Hell no. He wasn’t having any of that. It didn’t matter whatever you were; it wasn’t nice to have a stalker. He followed you, ironically, as you kept walking your path to your new home.

As people kept passing by your side (the night was still pretty young), you kept having the feeling that someone was following you. Normally, you would calm yourself down and tell yourself to stop being paranoid. After what happened with Sam, your nerves were jumping around everywhere. Even the smallest of inconveniences would trigger them. However, it was already dark outside. You could not afford to push your paranoia away. So you put on a collected and calm face, even when in the inside you felt like it was the worst night of your existence.

There was only one block to go to get to your house. It was almost over.

Dean watched you take a turn to the right. He waited for a moment before continuing keeping up with you. He wouldn’t let you slip away from him.

Just as he made the turn into the alley you lured him into, your fist made contact with his face. You grabbed him by his hair, kicked him off balance and immobilized him into the floor.

“What the fuck is your problem, buddy? Huh? What do you want?” How did he not see you waiting for him? How did you catch him off-guard? This was not how it was supposed to happen.

You pulled at his hair harder.

“Answer me, asshole!” He moved his head to the side so he could speak.

“What do I want? What the hell do you want? Fucking stalker ” He twisted in his place and somehow freed one of his arms, before you could notice; he was pushing you off of him.

You both stood, facing each other, guard up. He was blocking the one way out of the alley. Stupid, why did you let that happen?

You looked at his face, his features. At first, it was for filling a police description, but then you realized…

“Dean?” The question left before you could stop it. Oh fuck, you were royally screwed. It wasn’t like you couldn’t kick his ass. You could do it, but you had just voiced that you knew him and that would make your situation potentially escalate into the worst luck possible. The man had just been suspicious of you following him, admitting that you knew who he was, was well, the stupidest thing you could’ve ever done.

“So, you do know me.” He squinted at you.

How could you explain him? Explain that you’ve had visions about him getting into dangerous situations by doing exactly what he was doing at the moment. Every time he followed someone or something just to double check it wasn’t a demon, ghost, ghoul or whatever, you kind of connected with him. As if you were experiencing it yourself.

At first, you thought it was because of Sam’s…Of Sammy being gone. You thought they were spontaneous bursts of magic due to your lack of control of your nerves, it wouldn’t have surprised you. It didn’t occur to you that maybe it was because you had had moved to the same town where Dean Winchester lived.

Suddenly, his accusations of you following him got even more sense. The best explanation was that, while you tried your best to go back to the magical persona you were before and not minding any business in different locations in town, you accidentally had picked Dean’s eye one too many times.

“What are you? And spear me the lies, you wouldn’t know who I am if you weren’t something else.” He started cornering you. You backed away until your back was against the darkest corner of the alley.

You looked up at his angry eyes; they made you grow angry at him. Screw him and his hunter manners. He had no right in doing what he was doing.

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know.” You pressed your palm into the wall and felt a pull into the dark. You let it drag you in and away from Dean’s surprised and confused face as you disappear in front of him. Your figure less and less visible until there’s only and empty corner in front of him.

Next thing you saw was your silent new living room and a figure sitting at your couch.

“You shadow traveled!” Crowley scolded you. You rolled your eyes and started rubbing at your left elbow.

“It was an emergency.” You took out of your jacket’s pocket your emergency ointment. You shrugged out of the leather jacket and started applying the ointment in your aching arm.

“Oh, please. I’d love to hear what kind of emergency was it for you to use one of the darkest ways of teleporting. You could’ve got lost or worse end up in purgatory or hell! Just what were you thinking, missy?!” He followed you into your kitchen. He sounded like a worried, annoying mom.

“Okay, first of all, purgatory doesn’t exist, at least, for me. It was an invention of the Catholic Church so people will pay to go to heaven. Second of all, you have to really mess it up to end up in hell and third…” You stopped at this. Was it safe to tell him what had being happening? He was your friend, but even you had some trouble in trusting his line of action. He liked to be unpredictable, even to you. It didn’t mean that you couldn’t predict some things of him, but it was better to play it safe.

“Third?” You kept you’re attention on your actions, opening the fridge and trying to decide whether you actually wanted some cold water or if you opened it just to keep your mind off of Dean. You took in a deep breath.

“Third, I thought someone was following me. I didn’t stop to see if it was true or not. I preferred to get home faster than to let something happen to me. Okay? Sorry if you were worried, but… I’m fine.” You closed the fridge. You had finally worked out what you wanted. You wanted Crowley to leave your house, so you could take the liberty to actually submerge into your thoughts.

You took a step forward to wrap him in a warm hug. You could feel his figure tense to the touch.

It always amused you when you hugged him because he always tried to intimidate everyone and to portray himself as the bad guy you didn’t want to defy, ever. For almost everyone, it worked, but for you it was another story. You always tended to analyze people (by nature), you did it subconsciously so it wasn’t like you had the most of control out of it. That’s the reason why you tended to see more than what was presented to you, why people felt vulnerable and trusted you at the same time.

“Thank you for worrying. You’re a good friend.” He pushed you away after you spoke, quickly turning around, already walking towards the entrance door.

He scoffed.

“Whatever, see ya later.” But you knew he was blushing.

After he disappeared, you went to bed, getting out of your clothes and getting under the covers.

Your visions and running into Dean were no coincidence. Fate had plans for you and him and for the first time in a while, you feared what those plans could be.

 Everything was where it was supposed to be. Every single inch of your store had its own personality and radiated happy thoughts. You really loved the direction where it was going.

You had an idea, an earning of spreading magic towards the world. Not dangerous magic, no, just simple spells or even talismans that no one would ever suspect of them; things that could help people with whatever shitty day they were having and make them happy again. Of course, it was also beneficial to you, making the day of people and helping them would also bring joy to you.

What were you’re services? Well, that was a good question. You didn’t hide the fact that your store was a weird one, especially in a small town. But even if people felt discomfort in tarot readings or selling homemade tea or olds books, they still went in for art and photography and design. Getting your passion for art to the fullest would also attract other types of customers. That was the beauty of it.

You were about to close for lunch when you heard the ringing bell. Your head immediately snapped to take a look to your new customers. You flashed them a smile.

“Hi! How may I help you?” The woman walked towards your counter accompanied by, you deduced, her son, who kept scanning the room with his wonder filled eyes.

“Hi! I was wondering if you, by any chance, knew a good photographer? I saw some good photos displayed at the window.”

“Well, I’m the one who took those pictures. What kind of photos you had in mind?” Her eyes sparkled in excitement.

“Oh, I wanted to take some family pictures. It would be me, my son Ben…” At the mentioning of his son, she hugged him and he flashed you a smile.

“And my…” Just then, someone else entered. Your smile faltered for a second, before you composed yourself. You knew who it was even before taking a look.

Dean approached the woman and planted a kiss on her cheek. He then turned to look at you, already tensing and breathing heavily.

“Hi, honey. I was just asking about the photographer, turns out it’s her.” He clenched his jaw and glared at you. Your smile, strangely, grew bigger. Oh, this was going to be fun.

“Hey, uh, would you two go ahead to the restaurant? I want to clear some questions with her.” He turned to look at her. It was all it took. You needn’t be a genius to see that she knew. Maybe she didn’t know all the details, but she knew what Dean was.

“Okay, come on, Ben.” Ben’s attention snapped back toward her mother. He had been looking at a wild cat’s skull.

“Oh, that’s one of the Halloween decorations I was planning on selling. I wonder; how it got there?” The Halloween decorations box was in the storage room, which was locked. You had had the intention of starting displaying them, but after you went for lunch.

You smiled warmly at the thought of the skull’s impatience to be in display.

“It’s so cool.” He picked it up, causing Dean to tense even more.

“Oh, sweetie, no, put it back.” She flashed you an apologetic look, unintentionally. You smiled at her warmly and shook your head. There was no problem at all.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

“Awesome! Mom, can I have it?”

“No.” Dean said, before he could stop himself and making Ben’s smile go away. The woman turned to glare at him before turning her attention back to her son.

“No, not right now. Maybe later, okay? After all, it’s gonna still be here.”

“But what if someone else buys it?” Your heart was filled with cuteness. No matter what Dean’s reaction would be, you just couldn’t resist it. You said: “I could put it on hold for you, if you want it that bad. That way, no one else will buy it.” To that, his smile returned, while nodding and thanking you. He set the skull back from where he took it and followed his mom out of the store.

When they got out of sight, you walked towards the door, locked it and pulled down the curtains. Whatever was going to happen, you didn’t want any potential customers to see.

“So…” You started as you walked to get behind the counter. “How you wanna do this? You want to tie me down and interrogate me? Want to throw at me salt, holy water and silver? You name it.” You shrugged. “I’m down with whichever, so long as after you’re done, you leave me the heck alone.” Dean got conflicted by your relaxed reaction. Even so, he wasted no time in splashing you, out of nowhere, with holy water.

Your face was wet, as well as your shirt. You whipped away the excess of water from your eyes before scoffing.

“You could’ve have warned me! I have a towel in the bathroom! You ruined my clothes, stupid hunter!”

“Whatever.” He said angrily. He yanked you by the wrist and pressed, what could only be, a silver ring to your skin, before noticing that it did nothing. He then proceeded with the salt and iron, getting the same reaction as the other tests.

Meanwhile, you rested your face in your free hand, looking at him, bored.

“Are you done? I’m kind of hungry and I really want to catch a bite.” He freed your hand and practically yelled at you.

“What the fuck are you?” You leaned forward, putting your best chingona face, before answering.

“I’m a witch. But not like the one’s you’ve seen before. And about following you? You seriously think you’re that special? Is your head filled with so much pride and ego that you couldn’t possibly think it could be a coincidence? I mean, I get that you’re a famous hunter and all, but seriously, if I wanted to harm you or your family, I would’ve already done it.” You’re voice sounded familiar. It sounded so familiar, but he didn’t know why.

“So, are we done? I’ll stay away from you and your precious family and you stay away from me? Sound good? Or do you want to burn me alive, just to make sure of it?” You walked towards the storage room and opened it just a smidge, walking in and closing it behind you.

“Hey. Hey!” Dean followed your path and knocked on the door. There wasn’t and answer. He kicked the door open, only to find you weren’t in there.

Crap, you had trapped him.

“Shit.” He kicked the door and walked towards the counter, scanning the room for a way out. His eyes landed on a key set in the counter with a note attached. He took it and opened the note, which read: Help your-self out. When you exit, could you do me the favor to lock the door, pretty please? If you do, then throw the key casually on the street about a block away. Thank you. Hope you enjoy your pizza and that we never see each other again. Bye.

Just what the fuck was your deal?

Days had passed without another sight of Dean. It was a blessing. You kept glaring at a photo you took of Sam. He was painting something in a spare canvas you had and trying to convince you that not everyone could paint. You smiled sadly at the memory, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“This is all your fault.” You scolded the picture.

“If you had told them from the beginning, this would’ve never happened.” He didn’t respond. Of course, it was a picture after all. But you could fix it. You could fix all this mess.

You put away the photo in your wallet and opened your closet door. You stepped in before closing it.

The house looked worn out. And the environment was mostly cars and dirt than plants.

You took in a deep breath and stepped into the porch. You knocked on the door. Moments later, someone opened it.

“May I help you, young lady?”

“Bobby, right?” He squinted at you, suspicious.

“Yes?”

“Hi, I’m Y/N and we need to talk.”

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural x reader #supernatural imagines #supernatural imagine #Sam Winchester #sam x reader #sam x reader x dean #sam #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean #piedras rodantes

[lovehugsandcandy]

Eight Days a Week, Eight Seconds a Kiss (Part 1)  (Colt x MC)

A/N: This is shameless and weird and I’m not sure why I wrote this but who else wanted to see an ROD mixed with a shitty rom com idea? No one? Eh well... This was inspired by @client-327 (Ren, this story gives your “no shit” idea a PG-twist.) This is obviously AU, but there are some similar events to the book, just changed because I wanted to? Chapter titles from the Dermot Kennedy song I am still obsessed with. (I am also struggling with some writer’s block right now so maybe posting this will help me over the hump? I hope?)

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: 1299 words

Rating: PG-13 (Swearing, probably, because I swear a lot.)

Summary: Ellie wants to live her life to the fullest, starting with her first kiss. She just needs a little encouragement.

Tags:  @deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @client-327 @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @hazah@flowerpowell@poeticscolt@brightpinkpeppercorn @zaira-oh-zaira@powdesiree0816 @umiumichan @akrenich

Saturday: I Bet You Dream of What You Could Do

Ellie opened her history book at the table in the break room, humming to herself. She was trying to read but her skin was buzzing, cheeks tight with a smile she couldn’t hide, no matter how hard she tried. She had been coming to the shop basically every waking moment, weekends, after school, ever since she met Logan and the crew.

She knew she barely knew them, she was a reasonable person. But still, she felt at home here, with this motley crew of thieves who seemed to accept her. And she accepted them, especially Logan. She smiled as she thought about him and how he really seemed to care about her. Maybe-

“So is your little rebellion everything you ever wanted?”

Ellie jumped in her seat as Colt walked into the break room, interrupting her daydream. He raised an eyebrow at her on his way to the fridge before opening it up and digging around, emerging with a takeout container and sprawling into a chair.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Like you care...” She turned her focus back to her history book, determined not to cede her valedictorian status.

Obviously, Colt did not get the hint. “Ha. Sure I care. Well, maybe not care, per se. Maybe I’m interested.”

She glared at him as he shoved a forkful of takeaway curry into his mouth.

“What? I’m interested, really, Little Miss Valedictorian. Is the fast life of racing and cars everything you ever wanted? Is hanging with Logan the bad boy as amazing as you dreamed?” He looked like he was trying and failing to keep his smirk off his face.

“Logan is a sweetheart, actually, unlike present company.”

He rocked back in his chair, hand over heart. “You wound me.”

“Ha. I would if you had a heart to wound.” Back to the book, When she looked up again, three paragraphs later, Colt was still studying her. “What?!”

“Why are you really here?” He just looked curious now.

Ellie dropped her highlighter and huffed a breath. He wasn’t letting it go. “I don’t know. I want to experience the real world and here seems like a better place to do it than with my dad.”

He raised an eyebrow. “The real world?”

“Yeah. I want to get my license tomorrow and have some freedom and meet some people and I want-” She stopped short, remembering who she was talking to.

“You want...” He ate more takeout and waved a hand at her, motioning for her to continue.

Ellie felt her cheeks heating up. Crap. “Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Oh, now I really want to know.”  Colt leaned forward over the table, intent, smirk on full display.

She bit her lip and looked at him, slowly exhaling. “I’m 18 and want to have my first kiss. I’ve....I’ve never been kissed.”

Colt burst out laughing. “Yeah, I mean, no shit.”

“What?”

Colt stopped laughing and grimaced, shrinking down in his chair. “Uhhh....I mean, I....I thought it was kind of obvious.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

He at least had the sense to look apologetic. “I just mean that you’re not telling me anything that I couldn’t have guessed on my own.” He shrugged and stood, grabbing the container and throwing it the trash behind him. “You know, Logan is all over you. He would solve that problem for you.”

“Logan?” Elllie narrowed her eyes at him. “What if he doesn’t like me like that?”

“Okaaaay....you guys are always together.”

She couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across her face as she thought back to the night at Brent’s party. “He is super handsome. Nice.”

“Total numb-skull but whatever, problem solved! You can kiss your white knight.” Colt raised his hands in surrender and backed away, towards the door.

“What if I don’t like him like that?”

Colt’s mouth dropped open. “I don’t know! What is this, teen angst therapy hour? You want your first kiss? Kiss him anyways. Who cares?!?”

Ellie looked down at the table. She heard Colt take the last two steps to the door and sighed, but looked up when his footsteps came back. He studied her for a minute and sat down next to her, folding his arms on the table. “Ellie, listen. It doesn’t matter who your first kiss is. And, look at you. You could kiss anyone you wanted to, so easy. So stop freaking out about it. You just gotta trust in yourself. And be patient.”

“Easy for you to say.”

He rolled his eyes and looked to the ceiling. “Christ. Do you want me to kiss you right now? Will that end this conversation?”

“God, no.” Ellie retched. Colt looked offended, so she continued. “I want to kiss someone who at least tolerates me.”

He looked at her, studying her for a minute, longer than necessary, eyes trailing over her face before he spoke again. “That seems like a low bar.”

“Well, you know what? Maybe that’s fine with me.”

“Ok, sorry. I was just trying to help.” Colt stood again to leave when, like a gift from the heavens, Ellie was struck with the best idea of all time,

“Wait.....you CAN help me!!” Her eyes widened. “This is a great idea!”

“What? Excuse me?” Colt froze, midway to the door, and stared at her. “How can I help you?”

“No no no, listen.” Ellie could see it now and her hands started flailing as she spoke. “This is GREAT! You are a guy. You know guys and how they work and what they think. You can help me!”

“I....am a guy.” Colt stared at her as if she had grown two heads, opening and closing his mouth a few times. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ellie spun in her chair to face him fully and rubbed her hands together. “I want your help in getting me my first kiss.”

“I’m sorry, what? Have you lost it?!?”

“I’m not kidding, Colt! You said it was, and I quote, soooo easy. You implied that I wouldn’t have a problem. Then help me!”

“You know I am all about helping the less fortunate, but no.” He kept staring at her as if she had lost her mind, rocking back on his heels.

Ellie rubbed her hands together. “Yes! It will be so easy. Just, when we go out, as a group, be my wingman.”

“What the...this is a horrible idea.”

“Just a week, only a week. Seven days. That’s all I ask.”

He rubbed his temple. “What happens if you don’t get your perfect first kiss in seven days?”

She nodded, decisively. “Then I will kiss you.” His mouth dropped. “If I don’t have my first kiss in seven days, I will take you up on your offer, to get my first kiss over with.”

“What in God’s name makes you think I am going to do this?”

“Colt, please. Please.” She pouted, eyes wide. It worked on her dad but she definitely didn’t think it would work on Colt. “Please help my rebellion?”

Colt’s shoulders dropped and he looked defeated. “Are you kidding me?!?” He sighed, loudly. “Fine, fine, fine, I will be your wingman.”

Ellie clapped. “Yes YES!!!” Before she could think about it, she was out of the chair hugging him. He was stiff in her arms, immobile. She took a couple steps backwards, watching him shove his hands into his pockets.

“Ummmm.....Thank you.” She was struck by a sudden thought. “But you can’t tell anyone. Anyone!”

Colt scoffed. “Who am I gonna tell? I hate everyone!”

“No kidding.”

“You know, the easy thing to do would be to let me off the hook here.”

“Nope. Nope nope nope. We’re doing this.” Ellie grinned. “This is totally gonna work.”

#playchoices fanfic #colt kaneko #colt x mc #choices rod #colt rod #i don't even know #amy writes

[lcgendcfzvlda]

☆ — wait , is that ZELDA KING ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the JUNIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be BRASH & IMPULSIVE , they’re far too WELCOMING & COURAGEOUS  to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of FLANNELS WRAPPED AROUND THE WAIST, THE CLICKING OF A CAMERA, A COMPUTER SCREEN ILLUMINATING A PITCH BLACK ROOM, THE “IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA” THEME, BAGPIPES PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE whenever they’re around .  honestly , the DIGITAL MEDIA major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that ZELDA is a member of GAMMA RHO ALPHA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .

                                               you’re an explosion , you’re dynamite                                                   playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                                like for a plotting dm on tumblr , react for a discord dm                                                rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 on discord.

WOOOO I really can’t keep myself from holding only one muse can’t I. WELL. This is Zelda , a bit more of a happy-go-lucky muse compared to Sam !! She’s both her own character mixed with a few others I have - I love her dearly , so please please please feel free to come at me for plots !! <3 HERE WE GO :

HISTORY

Zelda’s backstory isn’t anything special - growing up in Scotland her parents had a nice marriage , she grew up an only child , always got good grades

But she always felt... average. She never was really anyone to anybody , so Zelda had a bit of a knack for wanting attention and trying to get her voice out there. So some took this as endearing , some took it as annoying.

In high school , she was lucky enough to be selected for an exchange student program in Salem , Massachusetts - and then she’d meet the FIRST person who would make her feel special in SAGA ( Sexuality And Gender Acceptance ) Club , a cheeky blonde boy named Cyrus who had a tendency to hide in the corner of the room and not talk to many people. And they’d date for about a year , up until Zelda would have to go back to Scotland.

They had to break up when Zelda would leave , but remained extremely close and communicating daily through digital connections.

ANYWAY , that little one year romance sort of gave her more confidence to use her voice and try and light up the room - since if she could do it for one person , she could do it for multiple people. That’s what gave her the idea to pursue a career in DIGITAL MEDIA -  namely , film & video ( with digital art and photography on the side ) in the more comedic aspect. Screenplaying and the technicals behind sketch-comedy skits. Stand-up comedy , even though that was more performing.

Think like Saturday Night Live - and then think of all the technical stuff that goes into it besides the acting. The script-writing , camera angles , etc. Zelda just wanted to make people laugh.

Soooo… when she told her parents that would be what she wanted to do , her average home-life would turn sour CONSIDERING they didn’t want her to explore such risky career choices. An easier life would be to become a lawyer or a doctor - more stable. But that’s not what she wanted. So after a LENGTHY argument with her parents , Zelda would be thrown out of the house with only the money she saved ( thankfully , she’d always been the frugal one ) , and would call . . . her ex-boyfriend and his mother. Since even though they’d only been communicating digitally over the past two years , it still felt like home in Massachusetts.

Her ex’s mother would pay for a flight for her to go back to the United States , and after some time of adjusting , she’d get into Hollingsworth to pursue her career in Digital Media - staying there , but often traveling home ( being where her ex and his mom lived ) routinely.

Pledging to Gamma , her insistence for encouraging people to live their life to the fullest and readiness to include people in her free spirited antics would leave a great impression on the sorority - eventually even leading to her current position as its president.

CHARACTER / FACTS

So again !! Zelda is my trans female pansexual bby , 5’11 bc tall girls make the world go round and she is the LIVING EXAMPLE of the Halcyon label. She’s loud , carefree , optimistic - never really known to pass up an opportunity to have fun.

...that’s so basic of an intro to her personality BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT’S EARLY

BUT YEAH Zelda ?? Does not give a shit about anything. She holds no grudges towards anyone , waaaay too chill - but she flips from extremely chill and laid back to “HEY HEY LET’S GO DO THESE TEN THINGS” and it’s. Definitely a 360. But nobody’s ever seen her angry and it sort of makes people wonder if she even feels anger or if she has a secret dark side nobody knows about.

...She doesn’t. Zelda’s only habits when angry are that she’s short , to the point , and WILL call you out if you’ve done something wrong. But making her mad is extremely hard and she’ll only remotely get upset if you prove time and time after again to be a shitty person.

Which , can sort of lead her to get taken advantage of because of her chill nature - that’s how the previous issue with Gamma getting in trouble at one of their parties happened. Zelda got pissed. She knows she’s chill but she doesn’t think about how that could lead SOME people to thinking “oh I can do anything I want and she’ll be fine with it” because she doesn’t. Get angry about much.

ALSO THAT DOES MAKE HER A BIT NAIVE - just again. She’s easy to take advantage of because she believes the best in everyone and automatically assumes people will do the right thing as people. Doesn’t really understand why people will do things to hurt others and doesn’t really want to.

Also kind of jumpy like she’s a social person and definitely flips between lax and loud but it is SO easy to startle her.

AS FOR HER INTERESTS IN DIGITAL MEDIA - she is extremely talented with the entire Adobe Creative Suite , especially Premiere , Photoshop , and After Effects.

She has an Instagram dedicated to posting manips , edits , etc. she made in both PS & AE. You know those funky Insta edits you see all the time ?? Zelda makes those.

She ALSO does a lot of editing and promotion for Gamma - a lot of times they’re memey little videos or advertisements or skits that display how welcoming Gamma is , and they do a great job at leaving a good impression on possible recruits.

Her BIG thing though would be a little YouTube channel she runs where she often posts videos just around campus - think Billy On The Street , which is what she really wants to do with her digital media career.

“I’M RUNNING AROUND HOLLINGSWORTH WITH A PACK OF WILD LESBIANS”

“LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO”

She either wants to do that - or mockumentaries to put on Youtube ( or even documentaries in a whole that she approaches with her extremely sunny demeanor on conspiracies or the like ). She’d also like to film her own show to put on TV , either something like reality comedy , a reality show spoof , or even something like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The Office or Brooklyn 99. Comedy film is her passion.

Commentary videos are ALSO something she’s considered , much like iNabber or Strange AEons , but she thinks mockumentaries , skits , and her other work

Also that person who Photoshops heads on people’s bodies and makes memes for all the group chats she’s in

She really doesn’t take herself seriously often but frankly that’s just Gamma as a whole so it WORKS.

A good portion of Zelda’s existence is a meme tbh I honestly adore her

She has a LOT of tattoos that were designed by her ex-boyfriend since he was an art major and now is a tattoo artist in Salem - I’d point you in the direction of Hannah Pixie Snowdon’s body art as a reference , just Zelda isn’t nearly as covered as she is.

This would be the best reference I can think of rn , lots of pretty designs and some animals, maybe some symbols and references from stuff. 

Olivia doesn’t have any tattoos but WE CAN CERTAINLY PRETEND

A lot of her spare money is made doing either graphics commissions or even photography from whoever needs her services !! The majority of her stuff has been done for cosplayers , budding models , budding actors and actresses , and even for other fraternities and sororities around campus. Zelda knows no rivalries when it comes to these things.

She’s also 100% that person who keeps around a polaroid camera so she can hang up pictures she takes she’s just That Person

Decorates the Gamma house with a lot of polaroids she’s taken and memey edits she’s done in Photoshop

INSIDE JOKES ARE HER THING

She also plays guitar and is fairly good at it but doesn’t have a band or anything rn bc she’s just someone who does it bc she wants to look cool ( and also bc the guitar’s a neato instrument but yeah she started it out just bc she wanted to play SOME kind of instrument at least )

,,,but she also knows how to play the bagpipes

and she owns a pair.

they’re in the gamma house. zelda plays them at meetings.

Also I can’t 100% guarantee she didn’t get her name from the Legend of Zelda series if y’all know me u know how much I adore that series so yeah

WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS

GIVE ME A COMEDY SQUAD PLEEEEEEEEASE maybe even ppl she works to make a webseries or something with ?? give me people who work constantly just to make other people laugh

People she routinely takes photographs of !!

Whether they pay her or she uses as a muse for whatever

OTHER PPL FROM THE GREEK ROW THAT JUST DON’T… LIKE ZELDA FOR WHATEVER REASON

Maybe they think she’s too chill. Maybe they think she’s hiding something. Maybe they don’t like how she’s running Gamma but for whatever reason they just DON’T LIKE HER and I want enemies so fucking give me enemies

This is so general but more Gamma sisters would be lovely Zelda’s so eager to bring in more people to make their sorority feel like home

Give me crushes Zelda pines over !! Crushes that pine over Zelda !! Gimme that skinny love shit bc my god it gets me going !!

Hookup plots are also 100% acceptable bc again Zelda’s a carefree spirit and gives No Fucks

Also 100% down 4 cute romantic plots too - Zelda is ur regular poly pan babe w/ room in her heart for 12000 suns

it’s very on brand of me to place the romance/sex plots right smack in the middle as I’m thinking of what to put down

Okay when I was in high school we had majors and I was a Digital Art major and all the Visual Art majors had this bond with us for no reason so I’d really love some Vis. Art buddies that Zelda gets along with much like the bond she has with her ex-boyfriend now

OTHER PEOPLE TO DESIGN MORE TATTOOS FOR HER PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE one day she hopes to be a coloring book

I’D LOVE SOME UNLIKELY FRIENDS TOO JUST SOME GRUMPS ZELDA’S CONSTANTLY BOTHERING W/ HER SHIT

Memey group chat pls

THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW maybe i’ll do a more detailed / organized list soon but yeah !! Come at me !!!

#hworth:intro #* &. about / ☆ 𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐝𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 #* &. ooc / ☆ 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐇𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐚 #I got the worst headache @ work but we got this done at least #very on brand of me to namedrop ocs i'll never bring in here 2 include them somehow #but i'm so excited i love love love LOVE zelda so much and the last uni group i was in she was only an npc #i'm rly happy to write her in full : ' )

[magioftheseas]

Hiyoko & Yasuke

Summary: Saionji Hiyoko’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. Yep. They’re different enough from canon, I swear.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language...? Hiyoko’s still definitely a bitch. Matsuda is, too.

Notes: This was a prize for correctly guessing the reference in Chapter 4 of the main fic! Since Hiyoko deserves more appreciation, I cross-posted it to here. Her and Matsuda predictably bicker and don’t get along that well, all things considered, but they have an enjoyable banter and a surprisingly interesting relationship. Since I probably won’t be able to portray it to its fullest in the main fic, I was pretty okay with writing up this. It was pretty difficult tho so FTEs for the entire cast is looking like a far-off dream lol. If there’s interest in certain characters (and/or a request I accepted/a thing I was commissioned), then ehhhhh maybe more to come. Maybe.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

Commission? Donate?

By all accounts, this is a shitty fucking idea but...

“One! Two! One! Two! Left! Right! Left!” A giggle. An intake of breath. And then, she wails. “Waaaaah! Some fucking creep keeps staring at meeeee!”

“I’m just astounded you’re still not bored with squishing thoraxes,” Matsuda muttered, already questioning every single choice he could’ve made that would lead to being in this situation. “Do you have a vendetta against drones or what?”

But I guess it’s better than stomping crabs.

Saionji snorted.

“And now the weirdo creep is asking me strange questions. And in such a droning voice! I hate it!”

“Sorry, my baby talk is pretty rusty. But if you’re that whiny, would you be pacified with a candy?”

“If it’s lemon I don’t want it!” Saionji exclaimed, looking absolutely affronted.

“...”

Matsuda pulled out a lollipop.

“Orange, then?”

“Give it! I’ll never forgive you if you don’t!”

“Alright.”

Somehow, with that little exchange, a devil’s contract had been formed.

FTE#1

“Mm, mm.” Sickening smacks of the lips, and Matsuda really was wondering how things turned out like this. Saionji looked pretty content, at least. “Hey, hey, Matsuda-nii. You wanna know what I think about you?”

“I can’t imagine it’s positive,” he replied. “Even if you weren’t a yappy bitch desecrating our serene cultural beauty, I get the feeling you would still think I’m kind of a dick.”

“Mm...” Just like that, Saionji’s wide, watery eyes filled with tears. And she begin to sniffle. And she wails yet again, “I ABSOLUTELY WOULD THINK THAAAAAT! MATSUDA-NII’S SUCH A JEEEEEERK!!! A P-PERVERTED...SHIT-SPEWING...COMPLETE ASSHOLE!!!”

“At least most of what you say is true and everyone knows it.” With a roll of his eyes, he dropped a crumpled up handkerchief into her lap. “So shut the hell up. Do you have any fucking pride at all? Pathetic.”

“U-Uu. The worst. The absolute worst. You even gave me such a shitty fucking rag.” Irritated, she still fiddled with it. “Did anyone even teach you how to fold?! Oh.”

She quiets when she sees that there’s a candy tucked inside. It’s wrapped up cutely in pink and orange polka dots. Her face pinches up so much so she looks constipated. All the same, she finishes up her lollipop so that she can unwrap this new candy and pop it into her mouth. Bitterly, she seems to like it a lot.

Not that Matsuda is really looking at her anymore.

“You really are a pervert, thinking you can pacify me with that.”

“I forgot about it,” he said, shrugging. “But think what you want. I’m not interested in the line of correcting stupid, stubborn brats.”

She hiccuped, sniffling and blowing her nose on his handkerchief.

“I-If you were really sorry, you’d get me the sweet I really like.”

What makes you think I’d fucking care? And anyway...

“You mean those gummies you always eat?” Matsuda asked,  Just pick them up at the damn supermarket. You’re a big girl, aren’t you?”

“THAT’S NOT IIIIIIT!!!” Saionji shook her head furiously. “Dummy! Stupid! Perv! That’s just ordinary candy I happen to like! What I really like is special!”

“Shut the heeeeeell up,” Matsuda snapped. “If you want me to figure shit out, don’t be so fucking vague about it. Haven’t you ever been to a doctor before? Shouldn’t you know this?”

“U-Urgh.” Grumbling, she wiped irritably at her eyes, glaring back at him darkly. “What I really like is special, sweet, small, and shaped like a star!”

“Oh.” Matsuda inhaled, nodding in understanding. “Confeito.”

She nodded back.

“Well.” Matsuda rubbed at the nape of his neck. “I dunno what to tell you, then. They don’t have that shit at the supermarket.”

Just like that, Saionji’s face turned to stone.

“And even if they did, like hell I’d share any with such a bratty, yappy troll.” Matsuda frowned. “Do you really think that with a face like that, and if you cry, that you can just get people to do whatever you want? You’re not even a kid, you’re the same fucking age as me.”

Saionji bit her lip.

“Still, I guess confeito’s at least good taste,” he sighed, shrugging. “Small yet intricately designed, sparkling like the stars they’re based off of. They’re works of art, along with flower candies along with the kind of aesthetic treats enjoyed at a tea ceremony. Personally, I’m a big fan of Mont Blanc, too.”

“Too sweet,” Saionji muttered darkly. “Foreign sweets are way too disgustingly sweet. They’re uncultured.”

Matsuda gave her an unimpressed look.

“Even castella?”

“M-Mmgh.” Saionji fidgeted, seething as she did. “Castella is...it’s... It’s fine, but...”

“Buuuuut? What?” Matsuda’s brow furrowed. “What’s got you so bitter?”

Saionji got to her feet, eyes brimming with tears again, and she shoved him down none too gently. He grunted as he landed harshly onto his back.

“Big! Stupid! Jerk!”

He only barely managed to avoid her stomping feet and just as he glared, she had already rushed off, leaving him in her proverbial dust.

And what the actual fuck was that about?

He sputtered a bit.

Seriously what the hell?

Sighing, he shook her head. He wasn’t in the mood for chasing her, especially considering the shit she’d scream at him if he did, so for now, he’ll just leave her be.

FTE#2

Unsurprisingly, the next time he saw her, she turned away in a childish huff. Since he had time to think about it, even though he hadn’t really wanted to, he can figure that she was probably pissed about...being called out on her shit.

Predictable.

He would’ve just given her time to sort that nonsense out on her own, but Saionji kept sneaking angry glances. Kept sneering. Kept turning away with a childish huff.

Oh for fuck’s sake. What a goddamn nuisance.

So, in the end, he approached her first after all.

“Yo.”

“Gross.”

“I’m not going to apologize,” he snapped, unaffected by her look of contemptuous disgust, even as he retained his usual scowl. “So if you’re trying to guilt me, it’s not going to fucking work. Just. Letting you know.”

Saionji bristled, but then, she sighed heavily.

“Of cooooourse not. I’ve known that from the start that fake tears weren’t going to do shit on someone like you,” she said, rolling her eyes. “You’re awful. Super cold. The kind of person I hate super much even if it’s not the most.”

“Were those tears really fake?” he asked, unimpressed. “If you knew that it wouldn’t work, you wouldn’t have reacted so strongly.”

“Shut up.” Her expression would’ve terrified a weakling like that mechanic guy but Matsuda just met her glare coldly. “A filthy, shit-spewing asshole like you should just keep his trap shut.”

He shook his head, tilting it with a twisting frown.

“And you can’t even be bothered to say please? You’re about traditional dancing, right? Where’s your fucking formality?”

Saionji reddened with anger. With a stomp of her foot, she huffed and then, with trembling shoulders, she mumbled, “You really are someone I super hate very much.”

He waved his hand.

“Then, there’s really nothing more to say,” he said, and he turned on his heel. “I’ll get out of your sight then, brat.”

“Y-You really don’t feel bad or guilty at all?!” she sputtered. “Where’s your heart?!”

“Bedside manner is reserved for patients, and I don’t have the patience for someone like you,” Matsuda snapped.

“W-Wah...” Shuddering, Saionji’s breath hitched as her fists balled. “T-The worst. The worst. I hate you so much!”

Urgh.

“I don’t really hate you,” he said. “But I can’t exactly say I like you, either. Then again, with the way you act?”

His head was throbbing, which was even more irritated. It was only worse when Saionji wailed and wailed.

Urgh. Urgh. Why do I...?

“Will you shut up, you bitch? Shut up!”

Unsurprisingly, she just got louder.

“Shut up!”

And louder.

“Shut...!”

And louder.

“Saionji, for fuck’s sake!”

Saionji’s mouth shut, but she was glowering darkly and viciously. Chin tucked, with eyes hooded yet bright with fury.

“Call me that again and I’ll fucking kill you.”

And now she’s actually threatening me?! Is this the same gremlin or is it now the other one? But more than that...

“You don’t want me to call you by your name?” A pause. “Your family name? What? Is your family that bad? Well, the rotten apple doesn’t fall far from...”

He ends up trailing off as she scoffed, lips trembling, eyes glimmering.

I’m treading into sensitive territory, here.

“Just don’t use it,” Saionji snapped. “It’s an awful wretched name and I hate it more than I hate you.”

Matsuda opened his mouth to say something, but for once, he thought better about it and kept his trap shut.

...your family name, huh...

Saionji ended up being the one who turned on her heel and stomped away. Matsuda watched her, feeling a weird twist in his gut. Guilt, maybe? Gross.

I might’ve gone too far after all. Shit.

FTE#3

“Yooo.”

“Grooooss.”

Saionji sneered as he shuffled his hand into his pocket. Grumbling lowly, he ended up pulling out a bag of sweet buns and very nearly flings it into her face. Saionji’s expression shifts to unreadable, but she immediately opens the bag. Her beady eyes are expectant as she takes a bun and bites down into it.

“I actually should apologize for before,” Matsuda muttered, averting his gaze. “Family matters can be delicate, I guess.”

That said.

“I’m not really going to pry into said family matters, mind you. That’s really none of my business. So it’s whatever. Just take what you will from it.”

“Mm. Mmf.” Saionji chewed and swallowed, blinking at him a few times with those childishly wide eyes. “You really are suuuuuper fucking pitiful, huh? You have no grace in apologizing at all!”

Matsuda grumbled.

It’s whatever. Whatever. Just what the hell am I trying to accomplish, again? Fuck.

“Yep!” Saionji giggled. “You act all high and mighty but you’re just one of many unimportant losers under me! So you should just accept your place as a slave and don’t bitch so much!”

Matsuda blinked. And he held up his hand.

“You’re about thirty-eight centimeters too short and about a hundred years too young to make those kinds of demands.” He rubs at his nape. “Still. Sorry about earlier.”

“I don’t forgive you,” she chirped. “Not until you grovel.”

“I’m not that sorry.”

“Awww! Then what good are you even for?”

“Do you even remember what my talent is?”

“Nope! Why should I?”

Matsuda rolled his eyes.

Playing around with a spoiled brat really isn’t a worthwhile use of my time. I should just leave.

“You’re a doctor, right?”

Just as he had turned on his heel, the words gave him pause. Saionji’s tone was high and cheerful, but lowered in pitch when she clicked her tongue over the syllables of doctor.

“If you’re a doctor, then you should stay by my side.” Another click of her tongue, followed up by a giggle. “Don’t you know? Anyone with the surname Saionji is cursed to die.”

If he hadn’t been drawn in before, he was definitely curious now.

“Bloodlines are always targeted by organizations and are often subjected to assassinations,” she went on, waving a bun around as though it were a fan before stuffing it into her mouth. She had some manners to chew and swallow, touching her lips before finally going on, “Since I’m head of the family, I’m a target, too. I’ll get pins in my shoes, dead mice on my bed, food poisoned, and stage lights dropped on me. I’m in a lot of danger, Matsuda-nii. That’s why you have to protect me.”

“That’s w̴̡̫͆̃͗̓̃h̴̞̤͂͒̊͋̕ỷ̷̛̻̓̿̽̀...”

A sudden striking pain in his temple, and Matsuda was immediately snapped out of the moment. Grumbling, he rubs at his temple, and he grimaces at Saionji’s innocently blinking eyes.

“That sounds like you need a guard, not a doctor,” he huffed. “If that’s what you’re so concerned about, why not indoctrinate one of those two meatheads or something? Well, I can’t speak for their observational skills, but...”

“But nothing!” Saionji shrieked. “Those two are sooooooo boring! Owari’s so gullible that she’ll believe anything I say! What’s the fun in that?!”

“There’s also that I’m a specialized doctor,” Matsuda added, exasperated. “As not fun as it would be to turn up with pins in your feet, that’s not my field. I wouldn’t be assigned to work on that. Pins in your skull, on the other hand...”

Saionji’s cheek puffed until they looked rosier than cherries.

“If general health issues are a concern, then go for the healthcare committee chick,” he said. “Tsumiki Mikan, was it?”

“Mmgh.” Just like that, she went from pouting to splitting with a smirk. “She is really fun to mess with.” Just like that, her smile quickly dropped. “You, on the other hand, aren’t much fun at all. Just when you were showing potential, too.”

Potential?

“You really are hung up on your manipulative act, huh,” he mused. “What’s even the point of that? You clearly aren’t that good at it. You’re way too easy.”

“What was that?” she asked, gaze hooded.

“Playing dumb isn’t going to help, either,” Matsuda said, gaze drifting to the side. “You’re too obvious. Despite some shallow similarities, you’re actually nothing like...”

He stops. He blinks. Once. Twice.

Just...what was I in the middle of saying?

His head hurt. It really hurt. It was as if all his thoughts came crashing down in a heavy heap that dig into his head deep enough to pierce nerves. It really fucking hurt.

“Matsuda-nii?”

Saionji sounds as confused as she does frustrated.

“I... I-I need to go.” His mouth felt dry, head and heart pounding, thoughts in shrieking, shattered remains. “Right. Away.”

“Hey, what the hell, Matsuda-nii?!” When he took off running, Saionji yelled after him. “H-HEY, MATSUDA-NII!!!”

He could hear her, but it was detached and distant, as if she didn’t even occupy the same plane.

FTE#4

The next time their paths had intersect, Saionji was, as per usual, pretty pissed right off the bat. But this time, her glare bore into him intensely, almost searchingly, like there was something she needed to see and yet nothing yielded. She was frustrated. Still confused. About what had happened.

Which was fair, Matsuda had no idea what the fuck he was on about earlier either. Truth be told, he barely remembered it because he downed so many pills afterwards that he passed out. As it stands, he’s just grateful he didn’t get his idiot ass seriously sick. He’s still a little drowsy and out of it, but keeping his body active should work wonders.

He should avoid anything that aggravates whatever that was, which would include Saionji. But. Even if that’d be good in the short term, he had a bad fucking feeling about the long term.

And so here they were. Matsuda lowkey wanted her to stomp on his foot and storm off because this intense, glaring silence wasn’t doing anyone any favors. His head doesn’t hurt, but he’s tired.

So. So fucking tired.

“...you don’t know what happened either, huh.”

Finally Saionji does speak, shuffling so that her hanging sleeves press together at the ends, hiding her curling fists.

“You know...” She stomps her foot. On just the dirt. “You really started acting so freaky and weird! It was scary! You should’ve showed up with sweets to make up for it, Matsuda-nii! Why didn’t you?!”

“Urgh.” Glumly, he digs through his pocket and pulls out another wrapped candy. He then unwraps it and pops it into his mouth, making Saionji shriek. He only shrugs. “I haven’t really been in the mood to give away snacks that I can just eat myself. Sorry. I guess.”

“You pig! Your perv! Y-You pig perv! You’re the worst!” Saionji sobs. “J-Just the WOOOOOORST!”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.” Matsuda swallows down the candy. It itches his throat a little. “So. Now that we’ve come to an understanding, we can just not bother with each other anymore.”

Saionji sniffled into her sleeves, shoulders hitching.

“I still don’t have any interest in catering to you,” he went on. “And I’m...”

Just so...so tired.

But he’s alert enough to avoid, Saionji trying to stomp on his foot for real. However she does latch her sticky fingers onto his coat.

“You owe me! You’re not going to just tap out, you jackass! Meanie! Jerkface!” She blows her nose on his coat, to his recoil of absolute disgust. “I-I... I demand compensation for emotional turmoil! Five bags of sweet buns! E-Every day...for a week!”

Matsuda’s response was to none too gently wrench her off of him from the back of her kimono. She wailed, and he doubted that it hurt that much. All the same, she only shut up when Matsuda muffled her sobbing with his handkerchief, pinching her nose until she blew on that.

“A lab coat is shit for doing anything about mucus, you fucking idiot,” he hissed. “And that many sweets will rot your teeth! Just how unreasonable are you? Not everyone signs up for brat sitting, so are you really that spoiled? Or are you just stupid?”

Saionji hiccuped but smacked his hand away despite keeping his handkerchief for herself as she continued blowing into it.

“I swear.” Matsuda grimaced at the stains on his coat, wiping it off with the spare handkerchief he carried around with little success. “If you wanted to keep hanging around for some unfathomable reason, you can just converse like a normal person. Like about manga or something?”

“M-Manga is...for gross pervs.” Saionji’s trembling like a leaf. “I-It’s for gross, disgusting, pedophiliac pervs!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“N-Novels are way better!” she wails. “L-Like The Madness...of Nakazu!”

He does perk at that. Sucking in his breath, Matsuda threw his head back.

“I Am A Cat isn’t a bad read,” he mumbled. “It’s probably my favorite of Souseki-san’s.”

Saionji nodded furiously.

“Right, r-right!” She sneezed, hiccuping and rubbing at her eyes. “What a miserable, wretched time period! How sad for Souseki-san to be surrounded by...by awful, wretched, stuffy pigs!”

Your behavior isn’t much better than those ‘stuffy pigs’.

Matsuda sighed.

“Although isn’t it disrespectful to disregard an entire medium because of a few undesirables? There are works that put emphasis on long-standing cultural ideas and aesthetics.”

“There are too many works that don’t!” Saionji exclaimed, heated to the point that her grip on the handkerchief was white as bone. “They stress other super undesirable ideas and aesthetics! And they pander to such a low brow! There are ideas that far more deserve to be retold and retained in the public conscious! And with such an influx of shit, those ideas are getting muted and muffled, overturned and overwhelmed by what’s nothing more than trash...!”

“Hhh... I can’t argue with all of that, but don’t rip anything.” Matsuda waved his hand. “I’m too tired to argue period. So just tell me about Madness of Nakazu instead, you stupid brat in a kimono.”

“Gladly! It’s about a father who...for his daughter’s sake...”

And such was how he spent his free time. He still had to wash his coat afterwards, which wasn’t great.

FTE#5

“Matsuda-nii, you seem like the kind of person who falls asleep in the middle of performances.”

“Well, that wouldn’t be a wrong assessment.”

“You really have no class at all!” Saionji laughed and there was a cruel edge to it. “Aren’t you ashamed?”

“Not particularly.” He shrugged. “Performances like that are sometimes meant to evoke a sense of serenity, so I still appreciate them even if I fall asleep. The effect that visual arts have on the brain isn’t one that can be understated.”

“Oh, right, you’re a brain-obsessed brainiac.” Another cruel, childish laugh. “That’s so weird.”

“Understanding this is how we put to words the effect and significance of the emotional reactions the arts evoke. It also shows just how deep our biologically-ingrained empathy runs,” he rambles on, not giving her much thought. “For example it is believed that we map the movements and actions of others onto our own somatosensory system. When a dancer leaps, the audience soars. Adrenaline pumps in response to the sight of death-defying acrobatics and stunts. That kind of thing.”

Saionji fidgets, frown twisting.

“That’s nothing exclusive to traditional dancing, though,” she pointed out. “It completely ignores the importance of how in order to set my audience at ease, I must first be relaxed to my fingertips!”

“Yeah.” Matsuda blinks, rubbing at his eye. “There is that.”

“Traditional dancing isn’t just about showcasing beauty! It’s about evoking the feeling of that beauty!” Saionji exclaimed. “It’s about making everyone feel the same love for that beauty that I feel! Which is far more important than just the clinical explanation of it!”

Matsuda hmphed, brow furrowing.

“Similar to your passion for the dancing, my passions lie in those clinical explanations,” he snapped. “It’s rude as hell to dismiss them, especially when they’re the foundation keeping your performance afloat. Even if you moved beautifully, if people were incapable of that empathy, the necessary stimulation required for that appreciation would be unreachable.”

Saionji seemed pretty unimpressed with that.

“I shouldn’t have to hear this from someone who just falls asleep!”

“I don’t always fall asleep,” Matsuda griped. “I wouldn’t fall asleep during your performances, for instance.”

Because I do have a sense of self-preservation.

“If you do, I’ll publically humiliate you and post it online,” Saionji seethed.

“I definitely wouldn’t. I’ll make sure I’ll stay awake if it’s you.”

“...”

Saionji bit her lip, playing with her sleeves for a bit.

“Y’know... Daddy used to say the same thing, but he was way nicer about it.”

Hmm?

“I thought you didn’t like your family?”

“Daddy married into it, so he’s fine.” Her frown deepened. “But my family name really is important, as my hag grandmother used to say.”

Maybe she’s the disliked family, then.

Matsuda decided not to push the topic.

That’s not my place to barge in on. Family matters can be delicate.

But he remembered, vaguely, The Madness of Nakazu, about a father who went crazy in order to protect his daughter. How they lived happily ever after, and how real life wasn’t always that simple.

“I don’t like your tone,” Saionji said, apropos of nothing and ironically making it easier on him. “But, y’know, I don’t always hate the things you say.”

And how am I supposed to respond to that?

“Alright.”

Brilliance.

“You really are super uber pitiful though, Matsuda-nii,” Saionji said, eyes wide. “But that’s alright. Once you accept your place under me, I’ll definitely protect you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t!” she laughed again. “Like hell I would!”

“Yeah. I’m not surprised.”

But, y’know... I think I have a pretty good picture of your character.

“If you do fall asleep in the middle of my performance,” Saionji said, lowly and seriously. “I’ll never, ever forgive you.”

“I won’t, I won’t.”

All things considered, I guess we’ve gotten to know each other reasonably well. I don’t see us getting all that close for obvious reasons. This bitch is still a major pain in the ass and ears with her shrill whining, but...

“Promise you won’t! Swear on your life!”

“I won’t.”

She’s not the worst person and weirdly enough, dealing with her is nostalgic, almost bittersweet.

But if I think too deeply on that, it’ll definitely hurt.

#hiyoko saionji #saionji hiyoko #yasuke matsuda #matsuda yasuke #protag matsun #Magi fics #yep #I cut out certain stuff extensively because yeeeeeah xenophobia isn't cool kids #I'm not gonna write that out in-depth #That's beyond my comfort zone #There's still some of it but not nearly as much as before #It gave me an opportunity to reference Natsume Souseki tho #who's like one of my favorite NPCs in DGS #and also...a real historical figure... #yeah #please enjoy #sdr2 #dr0

[ysunalsoastar]

The Unknown

Living a life to the fullest. What is really mean? what kind of fullest you wanna spent into living your life? Like, became a billionare? having a big house? big car? jewels? or having such a man-power? or what? if you know the answer would you let me know first, please?. Because i stilll don’t know mine. I didn’t like the complexity of those things, i can't help but thinking kind of thought that had been crushing into my mind lately. 

Do you ever feel like lonely? when your acquaintance, friend is a lot and your social media life is fine too, but have you ever feel like suddenly you've become lonely? ever feel sick with unknown anxiety? well, same here. I don't like being vulnarable but yeah sometimes we've been go through a day like that too. 

Do you ever feel like you've been in the edge of something- you didn’t know or how to explain it- moreover like, the middle of unknown? The more you think of it the more you feeling sick. Do you ever feel like you wanna throw it all into a words but turns out nothing pouring? Do you ever feel all these burden has already shetter you into a pieces but you can't just let it all go?

From the moment we’re born, we walk towards death, and life has us accelerate. We’re dragged around by success in order to achieve wealth and a world that only teaches us to compete with others, our entire life. Staying alive by working to death only results in obstinance, in the end. It’s not the summit, the highlands I’d been searching for. Honor over money, family love over honor.Even if I make a loss because of that, it’s relaxedness and happiness that I choose- Eternal Shunshine.

We've been like searching for an answer you know, answer of all the question we've been asking maybe to others, or maybe to ourselves. The next day we've feel like found the answer but turns out it a bit different from what we thought it'll be. 

Now I don't like a cliché, but I'm reading from the same book all over again . All different covers, all different colors. They're never the same but they always make me cry at the end. We thought we gave each other a whole world. But turns out that we didn't know such a thing. Guess life's like this. Shit happens, and we look for magic but good things always come to an end, an end ya know-Crying Over You.

In the end-with all those issues you have- there will be the okaynessess, the acceptance that rose up upon somewhere, from the part of your soul, even maybe from the part you didn't expect it'll be found-moreover fixed- and you go back with the true yourself again, learning to became true to yourself-accept flaws, mistake- learning a little bit to become thoughtful, learning a new whole experiences in this blurry or unknown things, rose upon the shitty days, and there you goes as the bonus or maybe a gift you can be grateful of -that in the journey of accepting, and learning how to deal with- is you aren't the same person as you ware back then, but the better version of you.

In the end, it’ll end up with laughter, a laugh that explain why were i've been crying over something that actually i can truly pass it, something actually im capable to do, something that i can embrace it into a better things as a life lesson. Maybe we just tired, tired of all this paradox anxiety that isn't so easy to get rid of, but i have a faith it'll be okay in the end, even stronger. It always be.

Hope is a good thing, you know. Maybe a best thing, and no good thing ever dies- The Shawshank Redemption.

[lckylight]

[ONESHOT | SMUT] One Last Fuck (JONGDAE X OC)

Hey guys! I wrote this one-shot on the spot very quickly but please give it a shot! Would mean a lot if you could share it & leave a comment on what you thought about it! THANKS KIDS <3

!DISCLAIMER! DO NOT COPY OR EDIT MY WORK.

You parked your car at your usual spot as soon as you entered the parking lot. There weren't that many cars but you just had this habit of parking at the exact same spot every working day, as if it was your reserved spot. You grabbed your bag from the passenger seat and immediately ran to the elevator. One look at your watch. 7:59. Shit, you thought, I'm late. You knew the elevator was taking a minute to reach the floor of your department and that walking up to your desk would at least take you 3 minutes if you were wearing heels. One look down and you sighed.

"Heels... Each time I'm late. Great."

You disliked being late, in fact, you hated it. Just like many other things that were estranged to your daily habits. But surprisingly, you were never the type of person that had to have everything in order, nor that got mad over being late or not having a specific parking spot. Unfortunately for you, a disruptive element had made its appearance into your life and you were not pleased by the impact it had on you. Being late became a problem, as well as everything that didn't fit into your routine.

As the elevator reached the 8th floor, you stepped out and walked straight to your desk without greeting anyone. Your colleagues already knew you were having a bad day so no one bothered to point out your lack of respect. You pulled out piles of paperwork out of your bag , and just as you thought you would get away with being late, what you feared the most happened. You immediately froze as you heard someone calling your name from behind. Not just anyone. The Devil himself, as you liked to call him. While trying to control your anger, you slowly turned around with a fake smile displayed on your face.

"Jongdae."

The man facing you showed you his most devilish smirk as he scanned your body.

"You're late."

You knew he was more than pleased to tell you this. He always was. And that is precisely why you hated him. Kim Jongdae had been your co-worker ever since you were promoted to a higher position within your firm 10 months ago. When you first met him, the first thing you thought was none other than Wow. He's hot. But that was obviously before suffering from his daily pestering. He would order you around like a dog and would give you extra work so often that you even asked yourself if he was a sadist. The worst part was that you couldn't even decline nor say anything about the work load he was giving you because he was the CEO's son. You couldn't change jobs either because you just liked your job too much and you knew you wouldn't find better with the salary you earned. Everyday, you just hoped that Jongdae was either on a business trip or on a sick leave. But it obviously never happened, considering the non-existent luck you had. So in order to survive on a daily basis, you avoided Jongdae as much as possible and made sure to pester him even more when he annoyed you.

"It's freaking 8:04, Jongdae. No need to make a fuss for 4 minutes. I have work to do. Leave me alone."

Yup, that was your tactic to make him leave. Surprisingly enough, Jongdae never felt attacked by your words. In fact, the smirk plastered on his face grew wider.

"You should know by now that 4 minutes are important, it's enough to fetch me my morning coffee~"

Ugh. This asshole. There was the obvious satisfaction he displayed when he was being a bitch. The thing with Jongdae was that he didn't have any limits. He would come to you during your breaks and would always ask for something he could do himself, like getting himself coffee at the coffee machine (which was right next to his office), or simply ask for the impossible. Once, he asked you to buy him a plane ticket for Europe leaving the next hour. Because you were obviously unable to find that for him, he pestered you for a month about it, saying he missed the most important even of his life, when you're pretty sure he only missed something like ComicCon.

Soon enough, your fake smile was replaced by an expression Jongdae is very familiar with. Anger.

"You know what Jongdae? Get it yourself. You can shove that coffee in your ass. Fuck you."

Jongdae just laughed as you finally sat down and started reading your papers. He slowly approached you and whispered in your ear as softly as possible.

"Why don't you shove it yourself then?"

There. That was enough to make you stand up and get him his stupid coffee. You were tired of arguing over such a shitty thing. It was making you lose time and just made you talk to him more, which was the opposite of what you wanted. After being around him for 10 months, you knew getting him coffee would at least make him leave you alone for a few hours. So you did. And so did he.

After spending the day working in peace (which was very unexpected), you decided to finish your day by writing emails back to clients who contacted you. You weren't anyone's secretary but you surely did have a central position. As you had been in charge of the project you've been working on for the past months with Jongdae, several affiliates of your company regularly emailed you for questions or problems faced with the implementation of the project.

As the time went by, you soon realized the people around you were leaving to go home. You obviously wanted to do the same but with all the work Jongdae gave you, you simply couldn't afford it. So you continued replying to emails for the next hour. By the time you opened your last email, all of your colleagues had left, leaving you alone. Finally, you thought while sighing. You had to admit you were exhausted but you were still surprised at how peaceful your day was. Getting up from your chair, you made your way to the records' room to fetch a file one of your clients needed. As you looked around the room, the lights suddenly went off.

"Damn it. Another black out..."

It had been the third this month. You sighed and made your way towards the exit of the room, not without too much trouble obviously. As you walked towards what you thought was your desk, you bumped into someone's chest.

"What the- "

"Damn I knew it was you. You're always the last one to leave."

Jongdae. That was (unfortunately) the first thing that came to your mind as you heard him speak. You cursed under your breath for always ending near him in shitty situations like this. Just when you were about to speak, you suddenly felt a light blind you and you quickly looked away. Jongdae was pointing a flashlight in your direction. You quickly adjusted to the brightness and looked at him, hoping to see another man in front of you. Nope. Still unlucky as ever. Jongdae stood in front of you with a serious expression on his face.

"We're going to have to wait until the power goes back on, the front door is locked and the elevator isn't working."

It's official. This was probably the worse day you've ever had so far. You had to stay with the man you hated the most for God knows how long. And the worse was that you couldn't even escape. Again, you automatically cursed under your breath before sitting back down at your desk. You grabbed your phone and ignored Jongdae. Right, you're stuck with him but no one forces you to talk to him so just ignore him, you thought. After a long silence, you heard Jongdae sigh. Wait, did I just piss him off?! Well, that's a first. You continued playing with your phone until you heard footsteps getting closer and closer.

"Is someone waiting for you home? Do you need a ride? Not that I would give you one but yeah. Are you single? Where do you live? Are you- "

"Shut the fuck up Kim Jongdae. Why do you even give a fuck about my existence? Can't you just leave me alone and stop pestering me with your questions?! It's called invasion of privacy."

For once, you were able to shut his mouth. At least for a few seconds. Jongdae would usually immediately laugh or smirk or come up with a bitchy phrase. But this time, he just looked speechless. Or tired. But you didn't care. As long as he wasn't talking to you, you were fine.

"We work together. Of course I would give a fuck about your existence. And since we're co-workers, we should get to know each other."

He wasn't smirking, nor smiling. In fact, he looked emotionless. You huffed loudly while looking at him.

"I'm not interested. You have enough girls to talk to anyways, they're drooling all day long over your looks so go bother them instead".

You were obviously talking about your female colleagues, who were all head over heels for Jongdae. It was obvious and they weren't trying to hide it. Jongdae would often get flowers or presents from them but he would never accept them. That doesn't mean he wasn't flirting with them though. He knew his charms and how to use them.

"Yeah, that's the thing. You're not even affected by my looks. Why not? Why do you always have to argue with me?! Others would kill to bring me coffee."

His looks. He definitely was handsome, and as much as you hated to admit it, you tried your best to ignore his looks because you didn't want to become like your colleagues. Desperate. You were thankful enough that Jongdae had a shitty personality to distract you from his handsomeness, although he did make you think of yourself sometimes. He was as impulsive as you were and knew how to drive someone crazy to the fullest.

"This conversation isn't going anywhere Jongdae so leave me alone."

But he didn't.

"You just won't admit that I'm hot. I know I have an effect on you, you're just hiding it."

You tried to put on a disgusted expression on your face to hide your slight embarrassment. Jongdae had never been this bold with you. And you didn't like where this was going. You knew you wouldn't last long if he insisted any longer.

"No?! Stop saying bullshit and go away."

Well, that was low. Probably the weakest answer you ever came up with. You wished Jongdae had stopped the conversation right at this instant and had listened to you for once. But what can you do, he's Kim Jongdae.

"I bet I can make you give in. Just let me give one last fuck about you. And we'll see what happens."

Well, that caught you off-guard. You almost dropped your phone with his words, slightly shaking from the stress. Had you heard him correctly? You were still speechless when he continued.

"If I make you want me, I win and you'll have to do whatever I tell you to do. If I don't, you win and I'll leave you alone for the rest of your life, I won't even call your name. Do we have a deal here?"

It took you a few seconds to process his words. Whatever he wants?! Hell no. You wouldn't want to be his slave forever. However, the second part of his statement caught your interest. Of course, it was a crazy deal to make, especially with the Devil himself. But winning the deal would be more than helpful in getting your peaceful life back. Was it worth the risk though? Maybe. After thinking for what seemed to be like an eternity for Jongdae (you swear you could see sweat dripping from his forehead), you finally answered.

"Fine. If I win, do add fetching me coffee everyday for the rest- "

Jongdae immediately walked up to you and grabbed your cheeks, not letting you finish what you were saying.

"Deal."

And there you stood, completely frozen as Kim Jongdae was kissing you. You were honestly too shocked to push him away or to even process that into your mind. The only thing that came up to your mind was how mind-blowing and steamy this kiss was getting because, let's be honest here, the guy knows how to use his mouth. He wasn't just kissing you, he was literally fucking your mouth with his.

Just as you came back to your senses, you gained the strength to push him away.

"What the heck Jongdae?!"

Jongdae kept his hands on your cheeks.

"Let me give just one more fuck about you. One last fuck."

He looked deeply into your eyes as he spoke. His deep brown orbs left you speechless once again. Unknowingly, you found yourself nodding your head. Jongdae didn't wait any longer before smashing back his warm lips on yours. And although you were fully aware of what he was doing, you just couldn't help but feel the heat rising up to your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. Unlike what you've ever imagined, the kiss was gentle yet full of something you couldn't quite grasp yet. And then it hit you. Care. Affection. Love. The last one was hard to believe, but you had no doubt about it. Jongdae was kissing you with what felt like all the love in the world.

You tried your best to resist, but it soon became impossible when Jongdae was making you melt under his touch. He slowly traced the outlines of your curvy body until he slipped his hands under your shirt, making his cold hands touch your bare skin. His actions sent shivers to your spine and unconsciously made you kiss him back with just the same amount of passion. You quickly wrapped your arms around his neck. Jongdae immediately responded to your actions by wrapping your legs around his waist and lifting you up to sit you on the desk.

As soon as you were seated, Jongdae was back to fucking your mouth with his. His hands were wandering all over your body and you had to admit you were tempted to moan. But you didn't want to give up. You couldn't. Not after the deal. You tried your best to stay calm (which was obviously difficult when he was touching you) and you made sure not to let any sound slip out of your mouth. Easy, right? Yeah. That's what you kept repeating in your head until Jongdae slipped a hand in your panties. You barely had the time to think straight that he was already fingering you. Hard.

You shut your eyes tightly to suppress a moan as you gripped his shirt tightly. Before you even knew it, Jongdae was pumping his digits in and out of you at the craziest pace while massaging your clit with his thumb. That was it. You knew you wouldn't be able to last long and that moans would eventually come out of your mouth if Jongdae didn't stop. As a habit, you found yourself wishing really hard that Jongdae would stop, even if you knew it was useless. But to your surprise, he did. Jongdae removed his fingers from your core. For once in your life, your wish was granted. At least, that's what you thought for the first few seconds. You suddenly felt an unexpected feeling, followed by another wish you never thought you would have. You wish he hadn't stopped. And it seemed like Jongdae knew exactly what you were wishing for as he broke the kiss to display his famous smirk on his lips.

"Just say you want me and I'll start again."

The playful annoying Kim Jongdae was back. He was obviously mocking you more than ever and you almost gave in for once, just because his fingers worked wonders. But you didn't. Instead, you put on your best stoic face.

"Never."

You mentally praised yourself for staying somehow serious in such a situation. Jongdae looked still amused though. And that wasn't reassuring at all.

"Oh really~?"

Jongdae slowly penetrated his fingers back into your core as he watched you playfully, while massaging your clit with his thumb in circles. You let out a small yelp in surprise, followed by a short but deep moan. Blood rushed to your cheeks in response to your sudden embarrassment as you tried to control your breathing. You were getting more than wet and only one thing was on your mind. You wanted Jongdae. You wanted him more than anything at this right instant that it felt too wrong to be true. You immediately regained your serious posture despite Jongdae's hands doing you wonders. He looked at you for a moment, seeing your determination, before placing butterfly kisses into the crook of your neck as his fingers moved in and out of you. You let out another moan, unable to hide it any longer. Jongdae continued pleasuring you for a while until he felt you nearly reaching your climax. Before you could do anything, he removed his fingers, resulting in an unexpected whine escaping your mouth.

That's it. You couldn't wait any longer. You needed Jongdae to finish what he had started. You needed him. You didn't want to admit it. But it was already too late.

"I need you. Now."

You knew you had lost the deal. You knew what it implied. Yet, none of it mattered. You just wanted Jongdae to fuck you.

Jongdae smirked like there was no tomorrow and immediately pulled down his pants as well as his boxers, revealing his meat ready to slide into you. He placed his member at your entrance and whispered into your ear.

"I won."

As soon as he finished talking, his members automatically slammed hard into your pussy, making you moan loudly as you tightly gripped his shirt. Jongdae didn't lose any minute and started thrusting in and out of you rapidly, already breathing heavily in the crook of your neck. You slightly laid back as you let you co-worker fuck you hard, shivering under his warm breath. Just as Jongdae was getting tired, you dug your nails in his back and asked for more. For the first time in your life, you witnessed Jongdae following your order and accelerating. Your moans got louder and soon became a motivation for Jongdae to go even faster. The pleasure overtook the both of you as you reached your climax at the same time a few minutes later. Jongdae let out a loud groan as he milked your pussy, making you tremble from ecstasy. Soon enough, both of you were panting like crazy. You let yourself lay back on the desk while trying to catch your breath. Jongdae slowly hovered you while breathing heavily, smiling while looking down at you.

"Want to make another bet?"

Link to my original work: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1279493/one-last--oneshot--exo-chen-jongdae-chenxoc-jongdaexoc

#exo #chen #jongdae #jongdae x oc #fanfic #oneshot #smut #chen x oc #exo smut #kjd

[tipsycad147]

Removing All Negativity From Your Life Is Bad For You And Your Magic

Avery Hart

There’s a rather insidious idea floating around spiritual, new age, and witchcraft communities that is doing you and your witchcraft absolutely no favours. That idea is that in order to be a good witch or a spiritual person you have to avoid negative thinking and emotions entirely. The logic behind this idea makes sense. I mean, if we’re manifesting magic with our thoughts shouldn’t we avoid manifesting negatively? Wouldn’t our negative thoughts, our worries, and our nasty emotions manifest just as easily as our positive ones? And besides, it’s not like negativity feels good, why wouldn’t we want to get rid of these thoughts? Convincing people to swear off negative thinking is a pretty easy sell but it’s a trap and today I’m going to tell you why.

The Law Of Attraction

To start this discussion off, we’re going to need to take a look at the source of this idea. This militant avoidance of negativity has its roots in the law of attraction. This law states that energy attracts it’s like. The energy that you hold and focus on is the energy you will get more of. If you focus on how loved you feel, you will attract more love. If you feel abundant, you will find yourself living in abundance. Plenty of people perform spells using this principle. The problem comes when we apply this idea to negative thinking.

If you focus on how broke you are, will you attract more financial troubles? According to the law of attraction, yes you will. It’s easy to see why this would lead people to try and avoid negative focus and while this can work in some instances, trying to implement this idea as a blanket policy leads to problems. Not the least of which is a disturbing trend of victim blaming within our communities.

When someone in a magical community has some misfortune befall them, often they’re met with sympathy to their face but I’ve heard more than my fair share of whispers behind peoples backs about how they “manifested their own pain”. Whether it be cancer, a cheating partner, financial trouble, or something else entirely, somehow people find a way to blame this person for energetically attracting their own suffering. Even in instances where it is true, this kind of holier than thou victim blaming is toxic. It destroys any space that the victim may have found for healing and growth within their community and ensures that they will feel unsupported, alone, and ashamed. This is not what spiritual communities are for! We should be supporting and loving each other through our misfortunes and mistakes, not using our knowledge of universal powers to feel superior to others.

Add to that the fact that banal negativity is far less powerful than positive emotion. While yes, it is entirely possible to attract shitty things into your life, it takes a HUGE amount more focus to do so than it does positive focus. More than likely, if you’re attracting unwanted things in your life, it’s not the conscious negative thoughts that are causing the unwanted situation, it’s the beliefs that you hold in your subconscious that are presenting a much larger amount of energy without you even being aware of it. And in the pursuit of rewriting these beliefs, your negative thoughts are actually clues helping you to uncover those subconscious patterns.

Adding Fuel To The Fire

Even if we ignore the fact that this concept causes discord in our communities, trying to get rid of your negative thinking patterns can actually do the exact opposite of what you intend. Why? Because when you resist something you give it energy. The very act of trying to rid yourself of negative thoughts and emotions gives those thoughts and emotions more power. You’re only adding fuel to the fire by focusing your attention on trying to never be negative. Remember the example above where we discussed how focusing on being broke will only lead to more financial trouble? The same rule applies here. If you’re constantly focusing on how much you’re trying not to be negative you’re only going to end up with more negative thoughts, and they’re probably going to be negative thoughts about how bad you feel that you can’t get rid of your negative thoughts.

As if all of that wasn’t enough, we literally cannot get rid of all negative thoughts. It’s just not possible. You’re fighting a battle against your own base nature and when you do that you will always lose. Besides, negative thinking is actually a GOOD thing in many cases!

Your Negative Thoughts Are Actually Good!

1. Negative thoughts alert you to your own emotions and energetic blockages that are keeping you from getting what you want

I touched on this above but it bears repeating. Your negative thoughts are a way for your subconscious mind and your body to communicate with you. Trying to get rid of them is like putting a piece of tape over the blinking “check engine” light in your car. It does absolutely nothing to solve the underlying problem and only allows the issue to continue worsening unchecked while you continue on in blissful ignorance. Eventually, that little blinking light will turn into an all-out mechanical meltdown leaving you stranded, crashed in a ditch, or worse.

Instead, you need to view your negative thinking as a valuable source of insight into the inner workings of your subconscious mind. Journal about these thoughts, try to discover the root cause of them and remember, all negative thoughts are trying to protect you from something. Whether it’s your poor body image misguidedly trying to protect you from rejection or your anxiety trying to protect you from worst case scenario dangers, these thoughts exist for a reason. And that reason is almost always to protect you from some perceived danger. Try to identify what your thoughts are protecting you from and you gain huge insight into what’s going on in your subconscious.

2. Embracing negative thoughts means you are being more fully authentic to yourself and thus, embracing your own power

As witches, we’re here to take control of our circumstances and create the lives we want. In order to do this, we must become acquainted with our most authentic selves, peel back the masks that the world asks us to wear and discover who we really are so that we can know exactly what will make us truly happy. Negative thoughts are a part of who you are. You may not like them much but accepting and learning to work with them is paramount if you ever want to really see your authentic self and reach your fullest potential as a witch. Claiming full ownership of your self is one of the most powerful things you can do as a witch. Stop rejecting this part of yourself because the world has labelled it “bad” and use it to your advantage.

3. Negative thoughts and feelings are a road map to your ideal life

Negative thinking is always a reaction to what is not wanted. While this may be uncomfortable in the moment, it is actually an extremely useful tool. We can only know what we do want by identifying those things that we do not want. In this way, negative thinking gives you a flashing neon sign pointing you in the direction of your truest desires. Witchcraft is about taking control back and creating the life you want right? Negative thoughts give you a clear direction to move in to achieve that goal, allowing you to hone your will and move forward with purpose.

How To Deal With Negative Thoughts

Ok, so getting rid of all negative thinking isn’t the answer. What CAN we do about negative thoughts then? Do we just let them run rampant and sour our moods forever?

Thankfully, this is not the only option. For many of us, our negative thoughts can be so severe that they become disordered and we present with mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, and dissociation. These things should absolutely not be ignored! Instead, people with any severity of negative thinking can take steps to make the best use of their thoughts while moving toward improved happiness, health, and personal growth.

Step 1: Get comfortable with the idea that you and your thoughts are two separate things.

If you’re new to this idea then it can take a bit of time to get comfortable with it so if it doesn’t sink in immediately then just give it time.

You are not your thoughts. Rather, your thoughts are something that happen within your mind and you are observing them. Learning to recognise this separation between the self and thought is key to long-term emotional stability and happiness.

Mindfulness meditation is extremely helpful in learning to recognise this dual nature within the self. To perform mindfulness meditation you simply need to find some quiet space and a few minutes to meditate. Sit and focus on your breath. Thoughts will come up in your mind as you do this, this is ok, all you have to do is detach yourself when you notice that you’re getting distracted by the thought and go back to focusing on your breath. You don’t have to force the thought out of your head, just refocus your attention on your breathing. When you’re first beginning, start with very short sessions, as little as 1-3 minutes. As you progress and get better at separating your focus from your thoughts, you can extend the amount of time that you practice this meditation. And please remember, this is a practice! If you feel like you’re not very good at it, it’s ok. You do not have to be good at it, you simply need to show up for the practice and focus on improving in whatever small ways you can.

Step 2: Recognize that your feelings are valid but that being valid doesn’t make them true.

Remember how I said that all of your negative thoughts were trying to protect you from something? Well, they are. And you should appreciate them for that! They are performing a vital function that is designed to keep you alive. That said, no matter how well-intentioned these thoughts are, that doesn’t necessarily make them true. Recognising that your negative thoughts are valid but still being critical of whether or not they’re true gives you an incredible amount of control.

For example, you may realise that your subconscious is trying to protect you from the pain of failure by giving you test anxiety but that does not mean that this fear is well founded. Take a moment to dispel this fear, look at how much work you put into studying, call up thoughts of tests that you’ve done well on, and realise that in the grand scheme of things one test is not the end of the world. Thank the negative thought for trying to keep you safe and then go smash that test.

Step 3: Use these thoughts to get in touch with what’s happening in your subconscious mind

Your negative thoughts are a direct lifeline to your subconscious mind. You can use these thoughts to tell you what your subconscious mind is really getting up to. For example, if you struggle with negative self-talk your subconscious mind might be trying to ensure that you fix perceived flaws so that you don’t risk rejection from those around you. This tells you that your subconscious sees rejection as a threat to your survival. You now have an opportunity to dig into that perception and find out what caused your mind to become fixated on this as a threat. You can look at events that might have made you scared of rejection, such as your parents being unhappy when you acted out, to partners expressing dislike for something about you, to the way your boss treats you and your work.

Negative thoughts don’t have to be something that you endure or something that you try your hardest to reject. They can be a useful tool in your pursuit of magical control over your life, happiness, and growth. You simply have to be willing to work with them and be kinder to yourself in the process.

https://thetravelingwitch.com/blog/removing-all-negativity-from-your-life-is-bad-for-you-and-your-magic

[my-nameless-bliss]

hey nykeigh, im 22 and i feel so disconnected from life. all i do is work(a shitty retail job) and not much else. i dont have friends and not much family. i'm so lonely and feel like im never going to find my passion in life. when i was younger and thought about what my early 20's would be like, it wasn't this. i hate comparing myself to people my age but it seems like everyone else is loving life and im just existing

Hi, anon. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this. I know pretty much everything about our society makes it seem like your twenties are supposed to be this awesome, happy, wild time where you have your whole life figured out. Our twenties are built up to be this free, fulfilling decade where we live life to the fullest before settling down for our thirties. Our twenties are shown to be when we get it all figured out.

But I can *guarantee* you: That is all complete bullshit.

Your twenties aren’t when you’re supposed to have it all figured out. Particularly your early twenties. You are literally just starting out your adult life. You were a child like, two years ago, so of course you aren’t supposed to have your entire life figured out already! If you follow the ‘usual’ timeline society presents, part of your twenties is spent still in college. There’s no goddamn way you’re gonna leave school and *immediately* know what the hell Life is supposed to be. It doesn’t happen. No one in their twenties knows what the fuck they’re doing. Your twenties aren’t about having your shit figured out. I know people will try to tell you that, but those people are WRONG. Your brain doesn’t even finish developing until halfway through your twenties, how could you be expected to suddenly be an Adult when your brain is still maturing and changing? It’s not possible.

At every other point in your development, you’re allowed to take time to figure things out. Babies need to learn how to walk. Kids need to learn how to be students and accept structure. Teenagers need to learn how to prepare for adult life. But for some reason, once you actually *get* to adult life, you’re expected to immediately have it all down. In your early twenties, you are learning how to be an adult. Working is either new or different. Friendships are different, both finding them and maintaining them. Moving out of your parents’ house is different, if that’s something you do. You can’t automatically know how to deal with all of these changes. It’s impossible. You need time to learn. You are *allowed* to feel lost, and not know what you’re doing, and figure things out at your own pace. You’re only 22. You have so much time to figure out your life, I promise. I’m only a couple of years older than you, and the amount I’ve learned and changed in those two years is unbelievable. I’m a completely different person at 24 than I was at 22. That’s how it’s supposed to be. You’re still growing. Let yourself grow.

As far as your passion in life, I know this may sound pessimistic, but seriously, the idea of having one Passion or Purpose in life is like… a myth. Yeah, some people find it, and go through life feeling completely fulfilled, but I think the overwhelming majority of people never experience that. And that’s okay! You don’t need one specific passion to get through life. Hell, I think *not* having a passion in life is more freeing, personally. Because then you can discover more things, and find smaller motivations. Don’t worry about finding that One Thing that makes your life worthwhile. Try to enjoy the little, tiny details that make life enjoyable. It doesn’t matter how small or unimportant it seems. Anything that makes you happy makes your life worthwhile. It could be a hobby, or a piece of media, or a particular flavor of ice cream. Those are the easy, attainable ‘purposes’ of life. Things that make you happy. That’s what matters.

It may seem like everyone around you has everything figured out, and they’ve found some sort of purpose, and that they’re madly in love with being alive. But the hard reality is that it’s probably not true. You are not the only person who feels lost, and like you’re just existing from day to day. That is an incredibly common feeling, particularly when your life is just starting. I’m in my mid-twenties, and the majority of my close friends are in their late twenties or early thirties. So I can tell you with certainty: NONE of us know what the fuck we’re doing!!! I have friends who are married and have houses and careers and are unbelievably happy, and guess what? They still have problems. They still feel lost and struggle and feel like helpless kids at times. You figure out life piece by piece. It’s not something you learn quickly, and it’s not a permanent change.

I know how difficult it is to feel like you’re behind in life, and like there’s no point. But please try to remember that this is a perfectly normal part of adjusting to adult life, and it’s something I think most (if not all) people have struggled with at some point. I know your twenties have been built up as an important time, but you are still so young, and you have so much time. You’ll find new interests and passions (even if they’re on the small scale and not the grand), you’ll meet new people and make new friends. Your twenties are a time of learning and change and adjustments, but that means there’s also so much possibility. Every year of my twenties has left me absolutely stunned to look back at where I was the year before. Try to accept where you are now, and realize that it’s normal. You haven’t failed or fallen behind. There are an infinite number of people who understand exactly how you’re feeling. Please try to take that pressure off of yourself, and let yourself enjoy whatever’s enjoyable about your life today - regardless of how unimportant it may seem. Your life is going to change so much, so be kind to yourself, and let yourself learn. 💜✨💜

#you are doing so well #you are exactly where you need to be in life at this moment #let yourself keep learning and changing #but let it happen in its own time #you're not on anyone else's schedule #I promise you'll find so many things in life #and you'll be stunned that you never realized how much you could love those things #I hope you find so much love and happiness anon #you deserve it #there's still so much time #nykeigh answers #anon

[queerenbyfeminista]

I have lots of feelings right now.

My life is going well. I got a new job, I will be moving to Atlanta in two weeks. I get a fresh start! That's what I have been craving. My girlfriend and I are also doing well. We hit bumps, but our communication has been working this past year. We're doing great and have so many exciting things ahead of us. Drama at home is low. My sister and my mother aren't talking to each other so the fighting has stopped. My sister is doing so much better. The kiddos are amazing little beings that give lots of love. I have the most amazing and supportive close friends. 

But i can't seem to appreciate any of that. I feel so bad, all the time. I know the gloomy weather today is bringing this out, along with the new moon in virgo. But, it doesn't make my feelings any less relevant. I don't feel worthy. Of any of it.

I can't help but feel like I don't deserve this amazing new job. I don't deserve to move across the country and be happy and do my own thing. I feel like I'm failing at being a sibling, child, aunt, etc. I often wonder if I genuinely worked for this and deserve this. Or am I just good because I speak spanish and do community organizing already? AM I lying about my abilities? Am I really that competent? I look at my resume and it all seems fake. There is no possible way that I, Crystal, actually did that. That's not me. The person on that paper seems fucking amazing. That can't possibly be me. I am not stupid, but I know I can't possibly be that smart. Sometimes I feel like I'm stealing from others. There is no way that this first generation queer mexicana can articulate in those ways. Can write in those ways. Can analyze things with that much depth. There is no fucking way that I have the impact on the people around me in the way they describe it. 

It makes me want to claw my skin off when they tell me I'm amazing. Since I've put my notice in at work, so many people have vomited their feelings about me. Instead of feeling good and loved. I want to puke. I want to tell them that I have fooled them, and there is no possible way I impacted them in that way. When they cry immediately after knowing I'm leaving, I get angry. I don't feel sad with them. I think they're ridiculous for crying. I don't feel that special or powerful to have that much of an impact. It amazes me that people think I'm powerful, intelligent, loving, caring, and amazing enough to keep them alive. To change their life in the amazing ways they have changed their life. If I was truly that amazing, things would be different. 

Oh, my partner. My partner shows me love. In many ways. Her affection is perfect when we're together. She hugs me and I feel safe. She kisses me and i want to melt. Her scent is so comforting. She reaches for my hand often, just to hold it. She still asks if it's okay when we have sex, and that is the sweetest fucking thing. She makes me laugh when I'm mad, which works for her benefit lol. She holds me tightly when I sleep. She tells me it's okay when I wake up in a panic. 

Her words of affirmation aren't said as often as I would like (especially when I feel shitty). But I guess that's my fault. I try to keep a good face on, and she's not dumb. So I have to work extra at hiding my feelings. Sometimes she doesn't know I called her after a panic attack because I make sure my voice is steady, my nose is no longer stuffy, my breathing is normal, and I make sense when I speak. Sometimes I tell her a little bit, just enough for her to know I'm in a mood, but I don't share the full extent. I'm terrified to fully let her in.

She is confident. Smart. Outgoing. Has so many friends. At peace with her body. Full of energy. Full of jokes and humor. She is fucking beautiful, sexy, and hot. She is creative. She is sensitive, even though she acts like she is not. She pushes forward even when her life isn't perfect. She can talk to anybody. Her laugh is contagious. I stare at her sometimes and feel so much love.

And as weird as this may sound, I don't feel like it's real. I don't feel beautiful. I know that my brain is good enough. But my looks, nope. I used to feel confident and sexy when we first started talking as more than friends. But lately, I haven't. I am embarrassed of my body. All of the scars, stretch marks, dips, and curves it has. I look in the mirror when I'm naked and I feel awful. I feel like she says she loves my body just to be kind because she is my girlfriend. And it's silly, because if that was the case, she wouldn't be with me, right? But, wrong. People can get used to people. People can be infatuated at first, but after time goes by, they can overlook some things because they love other things. That's how I feel. Like she is overlooking my body just because she likes my brain and heart. I took pictures, and I wanted to share them... but the shame and embarrassment that came over me before I sent them paralyzed me. How in the fucking world did I think that this body could be sexy? That this body could attract someone? So, I didn't send them. Sex lately, I want the room as dark as possible. I don't want her to see me with any bit of light. I don't want to see her face go from being pleased to horror if she sees me in a bad angle. She tells me I'm beautiful... but, sometimes I don't feel like she means it whole heartedly. She has been with beautiful people. Not beautiful in the sense of their brain or heart, but physically. Even all of her friends are fucking beautiful.  And I have always gotten the "beauty fades, but intelligence doesn't. So at least you're smart, it will go far." People aren't attracted to me physically, that has been the fucking story of my life. It's always AFTER they talk to me, get to know me, see the work that I do. Then they become attracted. & like, I know it's not always about looks. But for once, I'd like to feel that I am loved for me. All of me. All of the dips, curves, marks, and scars on my body. The size of my body. My brain and my heart. It's also my fault for not communicating that to the fullest, but it makes me feel stupid as fuck to ask my partner for a little more words of affirmation, or a little more of this or less of that. now that to me feels fake. Like they're only doing that because I asked, not because they want to or really feel like that. I'm sure that when she says I'm amazing, she means it. I mean, I have heard that my whole life. My heart, intentions, and brain are always amazing. So I don't doubt that. It's the physical part that makes me sick sometimes. I have been trying to get through it and rebuild my confidence. I was doing so well. I wasn't giving a fuck about what people thought and embracing my body, feeling beautiful and confident. But for the past couple of months, I have allowed myself to go back to feeling like scum. I have allowed all of the years of being told that "at least" I'm smart to crawl back in my head. I have allowed their whispers of "no one's going to believe you, you're not pretty enough..." to seep their way into my dreams. 

Moving on from intimate relationship insecurities and fear of vulnerability. I can't stand my mother. Her way of thinking and excusing all of the hurtful things she has done and said is wild. Her level of denial is surprising. The shit she has done to me, is whatever. Yes, it still gets to me and I am reminded of it every once in a while, but whatever. It's the way she has hurt my sister and nieces and nephews that fills me with rage. The way she can sit there genuinely believe she did nothing wrong. My nieces and nephews won't know what it's like to have a loving grandma the way I did. They won't get to experience the decent part of my mom the way we did when we were young. Her religion and her narcissism have gotten out of control. Thinking about her makes me fucking sick. And my father. UGH. He was my hero when I was younger. But as life has gone by, he's just a macho alcoholic that can't stand up for his kids and chooses others that aren't even related to him. Fully accepting that I have lost my parents and the idea I had of them shatters me. But I push it aside because it's not worth feeling this heart ache. I've known it. I have experienced it when I came out as gay. But I am finally accepting that they aren't going to change and that hurts. A lot. When I let myself fully think about it, I feel like I can't breathe. They are missing out on so much just because they can't handle hearing how they have hurt us. Oh well.

I'm gonna miss my kiddos when I leave. They love me so much. No matter what I look like, what I do. They think their tía is fucking amazing. It's super cute. But I'm also scared for them to realize I have been fooling them too. They don't know they have a tía that attempted suicide and was sooo close to ending it. They don't know they have a tía that has moments where she is disgusted with herself. They don't know they have a tía with dysthymia, basically high functioning depression. They don't know they have a tía with high anxiety and deep fear of vulnerability. I'm not the hero they think I am. But it's cute that they think I am a hero, I'll let them think that a little bit longer.

While I am feeling all of the above, I am stressed the fuck out about moving. I have so much to do at work. I have to create a manual that explains step by step all that I do. When I created an outline and saw how much it is, I wanted to crawl into bed and just sleep. I also have to find people to be a part of the leadership team before i leave. And do all of my regular job duties. 

I also have to find a place to live. Which is really hard considering I have never been to Atlanta and no one fucking calls back!!!!! That is driving me fucking wiiiild. Not in a good way. I have to pack and go through all of my things. I have to say bye to people I care about, I have to plan a party things, I have to buy some clothes to get me through the first week of work, at least. I have felt light headed all day and realized it's because I haven't eaten well today and have loaded up on coffee. But also eating has been making me feel weird lately. Anyway, I know things will fall into place, but I have less than two weeks before I move and I am stressing the fuck out.

Being in my head is exhausting. It doesn't shut off. 

[incendir]

[NOTE]: I used a combination of bbintl and beesubs translations so credit to both of them

I don’t understand the eyes that focus on you I don’t understand the things you hold now, at that age Your passionate fans, the TV programs that allow you to be on them The musicians that form around you

One of the most common hate comments—that they claim they just don’t understand why he’s so successful, they don’t get what the hype about him is, they don’t get why he’s so famous at such a young age, and they say all this with the tone that he can’t possibly deserve any of it. He can’t possibly deserve or have done anything worthy of all the fans he has, the renown artists he’s collaborated with, all the shows he’s been on (I’m assuming the most representative of this is him being a producer on Show Me The Money—when he was first cast on the fourth season there was plenty of debate as to whether he deserved that position when all of his peers in his age group and in terms of years debuted were still competitors themselves).

There’s no real incentive, no reason for my hate But my guilty conscience gets buried by the crowd

As his fan of over six years now, I’ll be the first to say he’s done plenty to warrant criticism—you’d be hard-pressed to find any human, any celebrity, who hasn’t. He’s never committed a crime, he’s never done anything morally, hugely questionable or controversial—I don’t consider dating a scandal, so the only true scandal I believe he’s ever had stems from an immature, and thoughtless mistake that he’s atoned for and apologized for over and over, and still does years after it even happened. There is no reason that I can think of to hate him, and if you read between the lines of the comments of his anti-fans, you’ll realize that there’s no true reason for them to hate him either. Yet, he has hordes and hordes of haters because when spiteful comment after spiteful comment is read by otherwise neutral parties, more hate tends to easily form—if so many people hate him there must be a reason, right? Strength in numbers applies to the negative as well as the positive.

No matter what efforts you made, what suffering you went through Your success gave you the right to be insulted again

He was born with heart and respiratory problems. These health issues made it difficult for him during Block B’s early days when they had taxing choreography and he was always seen gasping for breath after rehearsals and performances. The first company he signed with treated him and his group terribly. There were controversies and they were extremely unpopular—they were horribly managed and in dire financial circumstances. They managed to escape, they managed to claw their way up through blood and sweat to the top despite their new company still being incompetent. He sacrifices sleep and personal time to create music for both himself and his group—he never once considered one without the other. He constantly receives hate and constantly has the general image of a thuggish troublemaker despite being well-spoken, well-read, intelligent, humble, and kind. But it doesn’t matter how much he endured because he’s successful now, isn’t he? None of that matters, none of it needs to be taken into account because now, he’s rich, he lives in an expensive apartment, wears expensive clothes, has an expensive car—so he’s perfectly qualified to be hated on. It doesn’t matter what he had to do to get to this point in his life, the fact of the matter is that he’s here, and that, apparently, gives everyone the right to take a stab at him all over again.

Why did she date such an unrefined delinquent?

Nine times out of ten, when there is a dating scandal, the vast majority of comments will hate on the woman in the relationship, whether she is a celebrity or non-celebrity even. Naturally, even though one of the articles mentioned how he had helped her through her own controversy, how he’d driven to her company and comforted her, this became the one time that I saw more comments hating on the man—that he wasn’t treating her right, that he didn’t deserve her, that he was too ugly for her, that her seen running into his apartment complex was a reflection of him rather than of the paparazzi following them, that he was a player who couldn’t possibly have feelings for her other than for a physical relationship because that just seems like the type of man he is.

I don’t understand how your music became hits The awards you receive every year, your luxurious surroundings

Paralleling the beginning of the first verse, and an elaboration on it as well—again one of the most common hate comments. Through this, you can see the shape and form of the song—the structure of how he’s stacking the different kinds of hate he receives. The beginning of the first two verses both begin with the most basic and transparent attempts—invalidating his success and worth by stating that they themselves don’t see anything special about him, that his music, his entire career, seems pretty unremarkable to them, nothing noteworthy and definitely undeserving of the accolades he has received thus far.

If you evoke some controversy right now, that would be impeccable timing My lips are twitching with abusive words and insults Our needs are simple, you just have to mess up on one sentence The interpretation is entirely up to me and I decide on your ideology as well

As each verse progresses, the hatred progresses as well—at first they are perhaps the type of comments he could shrug off easily because they are so obviously false or ones that are simply about his profession, and he is the type of person that accepts criticism for his music, not the type to ever think his music is flawless. Deeper into the song are the lyrics detailing the comments that are harder to stop reading—that are harder to shrug off and dismiss, that attack the type of person he is or the type of person they think he is and want him to become so that they can be proven right all along. All it would take is one mistake, anything that can be even mildly misconstrued—that would be more than enough to paint him as the brutish, stupid, arrogant, undeserving celebrity they knew he was all along. Clarifications, explanations, elaborations are all excuses—it will never matter what he meant, only what they hear, what they want to hear.

A hundred of your good acts, I’ll carve on sand One mistake, on solid rock

It doesn’t matter how long he atones for one sin—it doesn’t matter how long he goes until his next, inevitable mistake. It doesn’t matter that he’s only human. For all the hundreds of things he does right, for all the years he goes without controversy, they’ll carve them onto sand for the tide to wash away moments later as if they never happened. Any mistake he makes, however, regardless of how small, regardless if resolved or proven false in the end, regardless if apologized and forgiven, that’ll be engraved for all eternity—it’ll be brought back again and again any time his name is mentioned.

Guess whose loss it will be if you become my enemy? The camera lens will become a gun barrel

Above all, faceless IDs on the Internet full of hatred yet basking in their anonymity want to know and feel that they have an actual effect. They want to know that their words shake him and they want him to know that they are what determine his fate, his success or lack thereof—that they are so powerful they determine his self-esteem, his sense of self-worth, his pride or shame at the quality of his music. As long as he steps in front of the camera, it is up to them how he feels about himself and his work—therefore, he should do well to please them, remain on their good side. This will return in fuller force later on in the song.

No matter how shitty things are for you, you need to dance properly

A good proportion of the lyrics are applicable to celebrities in general, most especially idols, and this is one of them. I’m of the personal opinion that professionalism should be maintained—a job is a job, and rain or shine, you have to do your job if you expect to receive your livelihood from it. However, in the end, we’re all humans, and there are days you just can’t contain what is going wrong in your life, sometimes you’re sick, sometimes you just aren’t feeling it, and I’m not, and I don’t believe he is either, referring to those who simply skimp out as if being an idol is a voluntary activity at will rather than a profession—as he’s someone who is extremely professional and rarely, if ever, misses a schedule (he’s been known to endure filmings while vomiting between takes). I believe he’s referring to how the majority of idols and celebrities in general are hard-working, maintain appropriate expressions, perform to their fullest ability nearly all of the time, but they are crucified all the same any one single day or event they don’t seem at the peak of cheerfulness, at the height of their energy and enthusiasm.

I’m not an anti, it’s fan mail Once you rack up those positive comments That means you’re past your prime

This is the first time in the verses he refers to the chorus, and the central motif of the entire song: The opposite of love is not hate—it is indifference. This anti states, and this will be emphasized later on, that Zico should be grateful for this negativity. He should be grateful for the hate. In fact, he should even consider these hate comments fan mail—the reason being, that, receiving positive comments means he is no longer relevant.

Bear this in mind, the moment you make a stage name You have to kill yourself

A chilling, impactful line about the sacrifices that celebrities make physically, emotionally, mentally that non-celebrities will never be able to truly know, and never can truly experience nor understand. He had to sacrifice as much as he gained, and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that he had to kill a part of Woo Jiho to become Zico. It should also be noted that he changes his flow for this verse—so that it almost sounds less like a third verse and more like a bridge. Previously, both his flow and tone were dark and smooth, but now it becomes harsher and choppier, aggressive and angry. The anti is becoming more and more cynical with its words—to the point where there’s hardly any other way to describe it than just, honestly, truly cruel.

The choice is yours to make If you want the public to eat you up (popularity/relevance), then be chewed out first Get on the cutting board

Leading in straight from the previous line, and also referring back to what was mentioned previously about indifference being the true opposite of love, the anti reiterates that the only way to gain fame is to first allow himself to be destroyed. His character, his skills, his appearance—he needs to accept that everything must be put willingly for slaughter and slander before he can gain fame because any attention is supposedly good attention and he has to accept that.

(1) A pro always rips the corners of his mouth widely (2) Professionals always need to smile

I thought this was one of those instances where both the figurative meaning and the literal translation are needed to get the full effect across. The meaning is another elaboration of the previous line regarding how celebrities are expected to “dance” even when they are going through difficult times personally, but the literal translation gives this statement the grotesque, macabre tone it needs to fully convey what he wishes to have the listener realize—it may seem nothing to an audience, to a non-celebrity, to an anonymous anti-fan on the Internet to tell a celebrity they need to perk up and keep smiling for a professional demeanor. After all, the commenter comments once—but there are thousands of commenters commenting once and the celebrity receives all of those thousands telling them to smile, again and again and again throughout their career. After a while, it wouldn’t be surprising if the simple act of smiling when told to feels as if you are ripping the corners of your mouth.

Merchandise don’t have privacy The customer is king around here

Possibly one of my favorite lines of the entire song. Other than the obvious of how this is referring to how entitled many non-celebrities feel they are to the private lives of celebrities, it most likely also references part of a rap he did during the NIKE Unlimited event shortly following the revealing of his relationship last year—

There’s another thing I could never forget That day my house, my car, and my daily life were all exposed

The reception to this was, expectedly, simply more hate—violent indignation that he was defending the invasion of his privacy and most comments ignored how his privacy was invaded at all and rather stated that it wouldn’t matter if his privacy was invaded if he was an upright person with nothing to hide, so clean and moral that even if snapshots were taken wildly out of context, he would still seem moral and upright. Bringing this back to ANTI, with the furious tone and choppy flow he uses for this verse, especially at this part, you can sense the undercurrent of sarcasm. The anti-fan finds it so incredibly absurd and infuriating that a product dares to desire privacy, that a product dares to desire its human rights not to be violated when everyone knows the customer is always right.

Hatred is also interest How long do you think you’ll receive that kind of treatment? So be thankful to me

What was implied in the second verse is now explicitly stated. Zico’s anti-fan is letting him know that fame doesn’t last forever, and that hatred is also considered popularity and attention and, regardless of how much he has been hurt by it—regardless of how many wounds and moments of darkness and doubt it might have caused him, first and foremost, Zico should be grateful to those who’ve hated on him all these years, dragged his, his friends’, his family’s names through the dirt. For, without them, and when they no longer treat him so miserably, he will not be celebrated anymore—he will be no one, once again.

I’ll make you lose your way I hope I can see you around for a long time I’ll end it here

As said before, again, above all the utmost wish and desire of an anti is to know that the subject of hatred has been affected—feels lost and horrible and feels hated, feels like truly all the faults listed about them are true. They want to know they’ve made Zico question whether he even wants to pursue his dream anymore. At the same time, they wouldn’t be an anti-fan if they had no one to hate. They rant on and on about how their hatred is a necessity of the celebrity livelihood, that Zico should be grateful as it is their attention that brings his music popularity and thusly lines his pockets—that he is nothing without them. Yet, they need him—they want him to continue making music for them to dismiss as mediocre and unoriginal, they want him to continue giving interviews so they can dissect his answers and dismiss him as problematic and toxic, they want him to continue being on shows and featured in magazines so they can claim his personality arrogant and his appearance ugly. The tone is sarcastic, cold, and mean. Naturally, the last thing they would ever want to do is let him know that without him they have no choice than to face what it reflects about themselves that they take the time to think up and spit out such degrading things to someone who has committed no crimes in his entire life and no true controversy in years. The very last line of this verse carries more weight than appears—stating that they will stop slandering him now as if they are doing him a favor. They are implying that they are taking pity on him now—he must be so destroyed, must be shaken and reeling, from all the faults he has that they’ve shed light on. So, for his sake, they’ll stop, and they challenge him to continue appearing before them if he can handle it.

I’ll wipe away your make-up And tell the world that it was all an act Why do I hate you? The price you’ll pay will be as large as the success you enjoy That’s all I wanna tell you about

I have the lyrics of the chorus as last because they summarize what the anti is saying throughout all of the different types of comments they leave. There is a reason for why these are the lyrics that G.Soul sings. Zico’s voice is what the anti-fans are actually posting, what they are actually themselves typing out and what they believe they mean. G.Soul is speaking for what is within the anti-fan themselves, what they are feeling and why they do what they do even if they might not acknowledge it themselves. Words differ from one hate comment to the next, but the sentiment behind them will always be the same—the one thing that no anti-fan will ever be seen typing in, the thing that Zico has realized about all of his anti-fans. He said as much in the Dazed Digital interview earlier this year, “Nowadays, there are people and comments trying to bring me down.When I see stuff like that, I find myself laughing about it—I don’t understand it, there’s no point to it. How can someone lack that much confidence about themselves that they try to get me down? I mean I don’t even think I’m that great!”

Anti-fans disguise themselves as concerned fans, as critics, as neutral third parties with an unbiased opinion that is only vitriolic and cruel because the celebrity clearly must deserve it. Despite all the different masks, all the various categories of hate-filled messages, that an anti might wear, Zico has realized that what they want is the same—for whatever reason, they want him to hate himself as much as they hate him. They want to see himself as the trouble-causing, simple-minded, partying, problematic, arrogant, selfish, unworthy, overrated celebrity that they paint him out to be and that they are so focused on getting the world to see him as.

I’m not you ANTI

There are several ways to look at the very last line of the song. Initially, I thought it was most probably just an English error on his part, and he meant it as “I’m not your anti”. In that case, the meaning is simple, and the final line simply reiterates the motif previously elaborated on and reiterated throughout the song about how hatred is still interest. The second way this line could be taken, if there is no error in it, is the anti-fan stating that they are not Zico—simply they do not want to be Zico, they are above him for all of the reasons they state throughout the song, all of his controversies and how problematic his image is according to them. In this interpretation, the repeated “anti” at the end would just be a sort of tie-in to state the song title. The final interpretation I offer, and I personally go back and forth between this and the first one, is that this final line is actually from Zico’s perspective—the only part of the entire song that is not supposedly spoken by the anti-fan. If spoken by Zico, this line then turns into “I’m not you, Anti”. It doesn’t matter how much they hate him, how many times and how intensely they degrade him and his loved ones, how much the rip apart his music and claim it insubstantial and unoriginal at best. He’ll never hate himself the way that they seem to hate themselves.

#zico:ultimate #op #personal

[lordwaffleking]

Stop Holding My Hand And Let Me Masturbate Already

Official review of Pokemon Sun and Moon via Lord Waffle King Dot Com.

www.lordwaffleking.com is still currently down and under construction so I’m just gonna post this here for now.

The Pokemon series has come quite a long way. From the very first games for the Game Boy, all through the many sequels and spin-offs, the world of Pokemon has grown exponentially and touched many, many lives. I’ve been a huge Pokemon guy ever since the first games, and whenever a new one is announced, I’m always nothing less than enthralled.

They’ve been with me through it all, man. When I was learning to read? There’s a lot of reading in Pokemon. When I was learning to make friends? Pokemon was what brought us together. And when I started touching myself for the first time? Yeah, I busted some fat nuts on Pokemon.

And then Pokemon Sun and Moon came along. I followed the news all the way up until release. I reported it all, right here on WWW Dot Lord Waffle King Dot Com. The designs looked great. The game looked perfect. I was sure this would be the greatest one yet, beating out my previous favorite that was Black and White.

I was very, very wrong.

Pokemon Sun and Moon have to be the greatest train-wreck of a Pokemon game I’ve ever played. To simply call the game “bad” wouldn’t quite explain the situation well enough, but I wouldn’t hesitate to call it my least favorite Pokemon game. And it really breaks my heart.

In my time playing Sun and Moon, I lost interest several times. Something that’s never happened to me before in a Pokemon game. I had to force myself to complete it, and only because I wanted to know who all the characters were so I could jerk off to hentai of them.

I mean, you can’t just whack it to a girl you don’t know. What kind of animal does that? Someone that doesn’t respect women, that’s who.

Pokemon games have slowly become more and more bloated over the years, but Sun and Moon are the first to ever truly be weighed down by it. Sun and Moon doesn’t know who it’s catering to anymore, and in an attempt to please everyone, they’ve really only succeeded in providing a clusterfuck of things that really don’t mesh well.

It’s an incredibly ambitious game, don’t get me wrong. Graphics are great for a 3DS game, and the presentation is phenomenal. A great soundtrack like always, and the Alola region has to be one of the best out of all of them. The Pokemon designs are fucking fantastic, all of the characters are likeable and well-developed. And surprisingly, even the story is great. The writing potentially rivals Black and White, actually. There’s real character development and everything. Not just a fat kid that likes to dance. In that sense, I’d actually rank it as one of the best Pokemon games. Possibly the best.

And yet the promising plot and world-building is held back by what I can only assume was corporate meddling on the Pokemon Company’s part to try and make the game appeal to the little shits sucking their glue through a straw because their negligent moms let them play Pokemon Go in the fucking street. Maybe they felt like they had to compete with Yo-Kai Watch and try to make the whole game into one long cartoon episode.

Fuck that shit though.

I wanted to explore Alola. I wanted to catch Pokemon and immerse myself in this world. I wanted a grand adventure. What I got was a special ed class Easter egg hunt. Getting lead by the hand to all the conspicuously placed Easter eggs, and having them all pointed out to me and placed gently in my basket by an adult so that I wouldn’t accidentally shove them up my ass by mistake.

It’s like going to Disney World with gassy Uncle Boris. No, don’t go on ride. Uncle Boris no feel good. Uncle Boris eat too much asparagus. Please, keep walking. We walk around park and go home.

Elsa and Snow White could be flashing their tits and beckoning you to join them on the fucking tea cup ride, but no. Keep walking. Look, there’s Mickey Mouse over there. No, you can’t go say hi to him. That’s not a part of the fucking tour. Keep walking.

The entire first half of the game feels like one long tutorial. It doesn’t at any point let you go to explore on your own time. You go where it tells you, you explore the way it wants you to. Read all of the dialogue, do the battles it presents to you, watch all of the completely unnecessary cutscenes. Why so many cutscenes? Pokemon doesn’t need that many. The cutscenes are done very well, yes. They help to build up the characters and make the emotional impact they deliver in the end that much more powerful. Sure. But the same was accomplished with N in Pokemon Black and White, and it didn’t require stagnating the whole fucking game.

When the action does open up, during that entire first half of the game that spans two of the region’s four islands, it hardly even makes a difference. The islands are designed in such a linear fashion, there really isn’t even a need for the map that takes up the bottom half of the screen. It’s a straight, Point A to Point B map. There are no “dungeons” in the same sense that older Pokemon games have had. Caves, forests, and other places to explore are kept to a minimum, and when there are some, they’re usually presented as part of the game’s “trials” which replace the gyms from older games.

Which would be fine, if it didn’t hold your hand through trials just in case battling a singular wild “Totem” Pokemon with slightly higher stats than usual was too hard for you. It tells you very clearly where to go, what to do, and how to do it. The mini-map on the bottom screen, which is an unfortunate waste of UI space, always has a very clear marker point of where you’re supposed to go. It’ll even offer you little hints. Say, didn’t the professor go that way, you know, where the little red flag is? Gosh, there might be something important there. Let’s go there.

There’s genuinely a point in the game where the map will present a goal for you, and then instead of just letting you go there, you’ll walk out and find that an NPC was out there waiting for you with a brief cutscene telling you which way the mini-map, that’s always on the bottom pointing you in the right direction, wanted you to go. And then it’ll proceed to lead you there, having you follow the NPC all the way to the trial site. You know, in case a giant red flag on the bottom screen was too hard to find.

And that’s after the fucking two island-long tutorial.

This was a big step in making the game autism-proof, I get it. It was to make sure that the generation of kids raised on Angry Birds and fidget spinners could play the game just like everyone else. But there’s no way to turn it the fuck off? I wanna play Pokemon games too. Come on.

Pretty much every older DS Pokemon game used the bottom screen in a better way. Even Pokemon Ranger. I’d rather draw fucking circles than put up with this bullshit. Sure, make the completely redundant mini-map the default. But there’s so much more you could’ve put there.

The incredibly promising Poke Pelago, a touch screen-based way to interact with your Pokemon, is locked away in menus when it could’ve easily been at your fingertips at all times. And on top of that, every time you want to use it, you need to watch an unskippable cutscene of your trainer traveling to the fucking Poke Pelago just to use it.

The touch controls are also fairly sloppy with Poke Pelago, something surprising considering Pokemon’s years of slowly perfecting its touch screen UI. There’s so many tiny sprites on the bottom screen moving around, it’s easy to accidentally tap the wrong thing when you’re just trying to collect some God damned beans.

So many strides have been made in eliminating annoying quirks that the games have had for ages, and yet all the tiny steps towards progress are fucked up by glaring bad design choices.

It’s really sad, it really is. It’s like a Miss America pageant contestant in Pokemon game form. It’s really fucking gorgeous. I’d fuck it. And the script, clearly, had had a lot of work put into it. But in the end, it’s just really fucking stupid. If you asked Sun and Moon what it meant to them to be a Pokemon game, they would ramble on incoherently about Pokemon games bringing people together for ten minutes, and then point to an Alolan form Pokemon and say “Kanto, remember?” You can get your favorite Pokemon from the first games, but now they have a much more exotic penis.

And yet even with the shitty execution, I still felt the emotional climax at the end of the game. Which made it so hard for me to accept how much I hated it. By the end of the game, I wanted to love it, I really did. But now all I feel is the disappointment of how much better it could’ve been if they didn’t butcher it.

A Pokemon Sun and Moon where I get to explore all of the islands without cutscenes every couple steps. Where there aren’t ten different forms of point markers to tell you where you’re supposed to go at any given point, and I can play the game to its fullest without worrying about accidentally overpowering myself. Almost every cutscene ends with someone giving you ten Max Revives. And they heal your Pokemon for you on top of it. There was really no reason to ever use healing items or Pokemon Centers, which are now conveniently located on almost every route now instead of only towns, because everyone would heal you before every major battle anyway. There was a time where I actually used healing items, because I was towards the end of the game. But no, they were wasted. As soon as I approach this powerful, endgame trainer, someone steps in and pitches me an entire medicine cabinet and heals my Pokemon for me.

There’s a difference between “Oh, just turn the Exp. Share off, then it won’t be too easy” and “Oh, just don’t talk to anyone, don’t buy anything, don’t battle too much, don’t explore the miscellaneous side-quests on each route, don’t use the Poke Pelago, turn Exp. Share off, don’t look at your bottom screen, ignore all of the cutscene dialogue, and don’t do any of the StreetPass Festival Plaza shit or whatever. Come on, it’s not too easy”.

It’s like if they made a reality TV show where you have to live in the same house as 8 different grandmas, but try not to get fat from them stuffing you full of food. You can refuse all you want, but they’re gonna get you. Even if you eat only three times a day, you’re gonna die of cardiac arrest. And you’re only allowed to murder one, the rest have to go from natural causes. There’s no way you’ll take home the million-dollar prize. You have better chances of beating the robot from Jeopardy.

Even the obnoxious feature where Pokemon call for help doesn’t do anything to balance the game, it just makes it more of a drag.

“Too easy” or “for casuals” would be the cop out verdict. The truth is that the game is just miserably balanced, relying on an instant gratification-style of gameplay and a slow-paced narrative that makes the game intolerable. The point where things start actually getting good is the brief half hour before it cuts to the credits, and then the game is over before it even starts.

It’s like not being able to get your peepee up and then when it’s finally up you blast your load immediately.

I think a lot of people did not actually like Sun or Moon, despite the overwhelmingly positive reviews. I don’t think a lot of people played it all the way through, actually. It’s a lot like when No Man’s Sky launched, and everyone was pretending to love it until someone said something about it. Several people told me Sun and Moon was just fantastic, and then they’d say “yeah, I’m on the second island now” and then they’d just leave the game for something else.

I think a lot of people just watched all the leaks and then beat off to hentai of the new characters and then just pretended like they finished the game. Not saying that no one at all enjoyed the game, I’m sure a lot of people did. A lot of people could’ve looked past the glaring flaws and loved it for what it was.

That doesn’t stop the fact that it’s still the only Pokemon game I’ve ever played that I didn’t have fun with. And that will be a mark of shame that the game has to wear. I almost wish that all I did was watch the leaks and never play the game. I could’ve lived with the illusion that Pokemon could do no wrong.

But no. I had to be a gentleman and learn the names of all the trainers before looking up hentai of them.

This is why chivalry is fucking dead.

#pokemon sun and moon #3ds game reviews #nintendo #game reviews #pokemon sumo #lord waffle king dot com #like lord waffle king dot com on fb #www.lordwaffleking.com #it'll stop being broken soon i promise #i am so fucking pissed #i just wanted to play pokemon #this review couldn't wait #i was really mad

[sarcastic-doodle]

When the antis for KC come calling...

So, @morleybell got an ask on the above topic, and I wanted to reply to it,but it got too long so I thought I’d make it into its own post. So the question was what to reply to antis who claim Klaroline is abusive.

Here goes :

Not even in the fandom since s5(never in tumblr!tvd fandom like ever) but I do skim the tag every once in a while. Came across your post, loved the general gist of it, but would like to add some and clear up some stuff you passionately stated in bulk😆, if you don’t mind. I’ve been wanting to get this out for a long time.

I think the crux of this whole matter is an element which is called a ‘morally grey character’ ; you know the ones - not entirely a villian but too twisted to be a traditional hero. Obviously there are naysayers who say Klaus doesn’t fit into the mold of someone w/ grey morality, hey haters gonna hate but the jury’s still out on that one apparently even though it’s obvious. Moving On. More on this later.

• agree with the SC part. If one looks at the whole picture from the start, Caroline got shitted upon and shoved to side by the writers and her supposed ‘friends’ right from the start in favour of Elena even by stefan. The afterthought. The girl every new male addition to the cast(not all but close) hooked up with. The secondary character whose romantic plot usually has their fan going “uhmmm not exactly the one I’d choose for her. This is just settling” because hey!one needs to fill up the episode, right? Who cares if she was a second choice?

For me, Klaroline came in at that part of the plot, where I was just about tearing my hair apart because the MF gang were really pissing me off. Caroline was never a priority, everyone was willing to let her be collateral damage in this ever revolving war against elena, she was just supposed to accept that her best friend is dating her assaulter. I mean I get that she is the cornucopia of giving, but thats what friends are for! To make these givers realise that enough is enough, now think about yourself, make yourself a priority. The Caroline I fell in love with initially, the one with the big dreams, the one who wanted to live live to the fullest, explore the entire world because yes embracing vampirism gave her that opportunity….That Girl was entirely diminished by the end. There’s growing up and having responsibilities and then there’s having to grow up because of not-their-doing responsibilities. Klaus had come in a AT THAT CRUCIAL POINT. I remember thinking ‘yesss, she’s a priority for once’ also ‘idc if this relationship works out or not, but this one can be her ticket and reason to move out of that soul-sucking selfish town and friends’

• IT’S A SUPERNATURAL SHOW. This. Funny and irritating why people forget this. The show depicts them as these all encompassing, good in combat and strategy, well versed in lore of the centuries, sensual, blood-drinking vampires…I’m afraid that goes hand in hand with blood and sex and murder and deceit. If you want a century old virgin goody two shoes, I believe you’re in the wrong franchise. For this show, its not about who is good and who is bad, it’s about who is evil and who is more evil, and that too is relative on how you define evil/what you consider evil. Also what’s blatant in this fandom, is the hypocrisy. This is what I wanted to especially expound upon :

So what irritates me about the fans the most is their hypocrisy. Also the puritan fanaticism some have embraced and loudly preached. I wont even include DE and Damon in my arguments, i think they’ve been discussed at length by all (like it deserves to be) this is better explained with Stefan. When people say Klaus is a mass murderer and has killed soooo many people over the years, ergo klaus is evil but stefan is my innocent bae(not verbatim but the intent is obvious)…. conveniently forgetting the fact that stefan killed so many people too, went ripper twice, in his 300(?) yrs…had he lived as long as klaus lived…who know whether the number would have risen or not (hint : it will)Imagine living on and on for so many years, the world around you changing, civilisations changing,people you loved dying, but you’re set in stone. Immortality has been romanticised like all get go, but realistically I can’t imagine someone not going absolute nutters every once in a while whether or not you have a reason to keep living on. The show has shown only the positive sides of Stefan and his dealing with vampirism which in turn makes him appealing, but I can’t imagine someone with Stefan’s characterisation - the broodiness and the guilt - would live a long innocent life. Psychologically, something will always make him crack. I know I’m coming across as someone who hates Stefan which is simply not true. S1-3 Stefan and S1-4 Caroline were my absolute faves. Believe me, I only watched the show until then for these two. But I realised we do excuse his murders w/ - he didn’t want to, he feels guilty, he repented, it’s out of his control. But ultimately clinically speaking(with my inner stefan fan supressed)…There were dead bodies. Families mourned. Lives were taken. Stefan regretted it yes, but it doesn’t give them their life back. None of these vampire’s victims (Salvatore’s, Mikaelsons’,Forbes’) are coming back. Why do we not still hate stefan or any 'good side’ vampires for that, but love to do it to the Mikaelsons?

Second thing I mentioned was puritanism. Simply put, this goes in the good box ; this goes in the baaaad box. Some people differentiate characters like - this is a good person(can do no wrong) and this is a bad person(be suspicious of this one’s dealings ) from the initial interactions and context of the show. Characters on the 'Good’ side in the start, are reveled for doing 'a thing’ ; but if a potentially grey character from the 'Bad’ side does the same 'thing’ they are jeered upon for doing it. Am I saying don’t point out and jeer evil wrongdoings of evil characters? NO. I’m not trying to be apologist for villains, most deserve what we throw at them. BUT But but, in this case, on this show, is the line differentiating them really that clear? Are these 'good’ and 'bad’ characters exclusively on those sides? Like you mentioned, Kol is killed, Klaus retaliates. Had a sibling from the 'good ’ side been killed by the Mikaelsons, pretty sure they’d have retaliated the same way. We cheer one but jeer the other? Why? The deed is the same, cruel and inhuman on both accounts, yet we celebrate one and mourn other?

What people instantly think when I say this, 'you’re probably a person who excuses abuse in real life too’'you believe this…you must be horrid in real life’….*shrugging* A. There is a clear divide between fiction and reality. one I have to actually live in and the other is entertainment. Damn sure I can differentiate between them. B. There is an actual sense is not automatically trusting the NiceGuy, everyone has flaws if you look hard enough, they’re gonna come out eventually I’d rather not be lulled in a false sense of security. I’m not saying The Mikaelsons are good people and they just need some lurrvvve and understanding. What I’m saying is the Mikaelsons are shitty. But so are the Salvatores. So is Elena. And sometimes so is Caroline. If its just fiction, isn’t it hypocritical thay we only hold few accountable, but excuse the behaviour of the rest?

When people say KC is 'abusive’ I always take in with the idea that it’s because Klaus is heartless mass murderer. Which he is. There’s no going around that. He IS NOT a good guy. That stabbing didn’t really make sense to me…why did he do it? But tyler’s mum yeah…if you can excuse the council for their behaviour, don’t be a hypocrite please when the favor is returned. On a completely different but still related note, this is similar to the bullying topic in HP. When it comes to being bullies for whatever reason, people easily excuse the marauders because ultimately they were on the 'light’ side. But draco is held accountable even though he was technically younger than james. But back on the topic at hand.

But KC? Like you provided the lines and to anyone who watched the show….Caroline was not impressed by him. Attracted to him?Sure. But she never acted on it at all until 5×11. She kept questioning his motives, was suspicious of his moves, never defended his actions, brought up his misdeeds to him when he tried to pretend to be a good guy, tried to sneakily gain favours from him utilising his interest in her, it goes on and on. You never hear a single praise for him from her lips (as far as I can remember) All she did was that she gave him a benefit of doubt. Try to understand his motives rather than just IDENTIFY. EVIL. KILL. Try to understand that someone who has lived this long, what goes on thay ancient head, did he ever want to be human? , how does he justify his misdeeds? But Was it enough? Well canonically, apparatently not.

And I get it. I’m not saying excuse the murders by the Mikaelson’s too. NO. I’m saying hold all of them responsible. Caroline. Stefan. Damon. Klaus. And then critic the characters after that. Don’t claim some sort of moral high ground when there isn’t any.

This show, these writers…when given enough screen time, they could redeem an irredeemable villain of their choosing. Seriously, for real. (Damon gets it but Katherine or Kai(this one would need toooo much work) doesnt) and people lap it up. Basically, it’s on the writers on who they choose to get to be the GoodGuy, which villian gets forgiveness for the misdeeds even though the other villains did the same thing. I don’t watch TO but I’m sure they gave 'reasons’ and 'backstory’ on why Klaus behaves the way he does. I mean if you think in a critical analysis sort of way, that is how a redemption arc works. You get to know the inner workings and history of the protag and what experiences made them the person they are, then it’s upto the audience whether or not they forgive them.

But I digress. What is the main point of this entirely too long rant, is that saying KC is abusive is just absurd. Not on this show, not in this context. If its klaus that is your problem, you better have a problem w/ the rest of the lot too. Also he is the one guy who was the only one who asked Caroline whether she would like the cure instead, didn’t use her solely to get to elena, prioritised her, didn’t think Caroline’s love to plan and shop and everything that does not scream stereotypical intelligent girl as shallow and superficial, gave her plenty opportunities to make something more out of her life if she wanted with or WITHOUT HIM. If she wanted to fly free alone for a decade or even a century or two, go for it as long she came back to him when she’s had her fill. Yeah, that just screams abusive and controlling to me😒

Bottom line anti kcs, I’m sorry you wanted this to be a black and white clear issue so you justify your hate. But it’s simply not. I’m not saying KC IS an angelic done-no-evil ship, but when ships all around are pirates, what’s another one,eh.

Also, might as well reiterate, I haven’t seen the show after 4×22, just kept up w/ the show from a lot of different shipper’s (SE, KC and SC shippers too unfortunately) blogs and my sister who watches the show, so I might be off w/ some of the facts. If any of them are blatantly obvious and it’s because I missed something crucial in the remaining seasons I’m tagging the people I’ve seen answering KC qs or were active in their KC defense so this post is refined @my-ownfairytale @klarolinedrabbles @jonsnowbitch

#klaroline #tvd #klaroline meta #anti defense #sorry guys it's not sherlock #for a show like tvd you can't judge ships based on the characters #bcos they're all shitty #judge the ships on their interactions w/ each other and the rest

[seven-for-president]

Super-Special fanfiction about Seven x MC

I reached 100 followers this week, so to celebrate I wanted to write a fanfiction, which I never did before but hey

So here are some Infos about the univers this Plays in: everyone gets a bracelet on his 6th birthday, on it thers a number which is the distance to that persons soul mate.

The last few steps

You didn´t believe in fate, there was far more than just fate to believe in. You didn´t belive in Gods either, what good did thex ever done to you? But the People nowadays didn´t believe in gods and high-beeing like they used to. All they believe in the number on their wrist. A number that can bind you to a complete stranger for the rest of your life. It was a number which failed to enchance you like it did with so many others already. Your Name war MC, nobody cared for where you came from, so why mention it? But it was a small town, near the ocean. Not many tourists found their way out here and this was the reason everybody wanted to leave this place. in this world  happiness could only be found with your destinied Partner. That one Person will change your live and make it truly complete. In this world People didn´t buy fancy cars or expensive clothes with their Money, they travelled. Why? To minimize the number on your wrist of Course. It has become the meaning of life for those People. You weren´t one of those. This very number meant nothing more than a wrong calculation you made. This ridiculous high number stopped bothering you when your parents died. They died because of that number, you see they were not meant to be together, but love doesn´t care about numbers. They always told you that so you never felt the Need to minimize it to Zero. Still, it was there on your wrist and always in the back of your mind, as if it was Standing next to you with a hand on your shoulder. But happy times came to an end when your mom found her significant other. You didn´t hate her for going with him, it was like a  force hitting you and knotting you together with this Person. She wanted to take you with her, finding you own Partner and become happy. But you stayed with your dad instead. One day in April, he didn´t came home from work. He worked for some security-stuff but he never told you about it because of “Top-scecret Information”. The day he died you found a note inside your lunchbox which he made for you. “My dear Little MC, please don´t hate me for leaving, your mommy already left and now I have to say goodbye too. I can´t live with the thought of her being with another man, even if it is truly her fate. Please go to her, so you can be happy with her and expirience what finding a Soul mate is like. I hope you have the live you always wanted, with the right man by your side. Tell your Mom I love her and that I want her to be happy.” You didn´t even cry, you knew he was gonna do it for a Long time now. So you phoned your Mom, to tell her all about it. But the line was dead and nobody answerd your calls. Since that day you didn´t try calling again and rejected every incoming call. She wanted to visit and came to your house, but you moved a Long time ago and changed your last Name and phone number. Some People might say that this life of yours was crap, but you couldn´t be more happy. No Responses, no one nagging you. You still went to School of Course. You even were at the top of your class. The compan your dad worked for send checks every month so there was no Need for you to work your ass of. Why would you live be shitty when you enjoyed it to the fullest. Since your dad commited suicide you stopped believing thst this number could ever make you happy. And you were fine with this. Sure, you hadn´t had much friends and weren´t interessted in travelling but what would Change one Person? And even if it did Change your whole life, or worse personality, it wasn´t a gift from gods but an evil curse from the demons. Fate was a cruel Thing in your eyes and soon it proved that to you again. “  Hey MC! Wanna hang out in the mall later?” Resa was your best friend since your first day here.and the only reason you got around the world a Little. Resa took you with her on trips and wa desperate to find a Soul mate.Oh, and she was sure it was some celebrity. “You just want to look at the Tourists don´t you?” The only reason tourists were so interessting was that they were not from here. After this one Girl found her Zero, the Person she was meant to be with, who was a Tourist coming here for diving and sailing, a lot of People used their free time to stalk those Outsiders while looking longingly at their bracelets. “Course I want, what else should I be doing?” “Your homework?” “When I marry a celebrity, why would I have to work ? So, no School needed for me.” You loved her but in this Moments you could slap her. Hard. “3 o´clock at the Pier?” “Sure, see you later then.” The doorbell rang and you opened the door for a man in a black suit and shades. “Hello, are you MC, the daughter of (dad´s Name)?” He looked at you throgh the dark glas and obviously suffered from the heat. Was he here to take back the checks? Would you have to pay it allback in the end? “I am, what do you wnat from me? If you want to see may dad, he died.” “I know that. I worked together with him at the ageny and now you have to do me a favour. In return you´ll Keep receiving the checks and we´ll make sure to help you find your Special someone.”  Who ever said you wanted that? The Person, not the Money. You would gladly accept that. “I´d rather apreciate it if you could free me from this Thing instead. But I know that´s impossible so please help my friend Resa finding the Person she´s looking for.” “Of Course, so here´s the Thing you have to do. There will be a man arriving here with the 3.15 PM ship. His hair is as red as fire so you can´t miss him. Take him to this house andgive him this. That´s all.” This was a small envelope he gave you. He said he worked with yourda so you knew it was better to not ask any questions and just do as asked. “Yes, I can do that. Is there anything more?” “No, there isn´t. You´re a good Girl for not asking questions, your dad raised you very well.” He put another envelope on the table and turned to the door. “Here´s some extra Money, I know you can Need it.” Without another word he left and shut the door quietly.You took the envelope and looked how much cash he left you. It was enough to live half a year from it. It may was suprising that you didn´r scream or cry in joy. But you had the Feeling your dad took part of your emotions with him. That was life for you and giving someone a letter for so much Money was a Piece of cake. It was the only Logical Thing to do for you in that Moment. Your meetingtime with Resa came closer and you got finished to leave the house. The envelope was left in the cupboard, save is save. You arrived at 2.54PM, punctuality was amajor Thing for you, and waited for Resa who arrived late as always. you like the Routine your life had by rhis Point. Always Meeting with Resa, always waiting for her and gazing at the arriving People while Hearing Sound of disapproval from Resa who looked at her bracelet the whole time. But today was different, today you had a Job to do….. you heard the horn of the ship and the crowed got more exited by each passing second. “Do you think I will meet him today? Will I finally find my one and only Partner for life?” “Who knows?” before she could say anytihng else the passengers started to step onto the land and each pair of eyes was directed on their wrists. Exept yours, they were searching for fire-head-boy, as you named him. He was one of the last ones to Exit the ship and Mr. MIB was right, his hair loked like it could set the whole world on fire any Moment. Someone screamed, “ MC, your number!!” You looked down, and fell in shock. The number which was usually higher than a Million was now 7….6…..5……4……..3 “Resa, why does it get down so fast?” “That´s because you have found him.” “I never asked to find anyone! Make it stop Resa!” Judging by the number, your Special someone took his last few steps towards you. The Counter hit Zero in your heart raced in fear.You looked up, afraid of who stood there. Afraid this Person wanted to take you away and turn your life upside down. “Hi! I am the Defender of Justice 707! So you´re the Zero in my Name. Nice to meet you, what´s your Name?” The Boys hair couldset the world on fire, so you thought. But he was a cruel one and the only world that was set on fire, wa yours. It was a fire that couldn´t  be put out by anyone, only by death.

Soooo….. this was suprisingly more fun than I thougth. As I said this is my very first fanfic so don´t be to harsh on me, kay? If you liked it then leave a comment, like or reblog, rhat would make me very happy. Maybe I can do this more from now on but we´ll see ^^

#mystic messenger #fanfic #saeyoung choi #seven #seven x mc #saeyoung x mc