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#please be more careful with statements and what you’re putting out into the world
anawritez-posts · 3 days
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𝐕𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐨
Summary: 18+ only. minors dni. Y/N tries to escape her controlling obsessed husband, he leaves a disturbing voicemail while she tries to find a way to leave him. contains dark themes and sexual scenes so minors pls dni.
Word Count: 2k
authors note: apologies, this is really long and unedited. but felt the need to put this out.
masterlist | taglist | part one
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You begin to panic as Tom says, “Now, drop the phone.” His voice goes back to taunt her, “cause I’m right behind you”.
You feel a presence behind you, you turn around and there stands your husband, your captor, the dark lord himself, Tom Riddle.
"Hello, love" Your eyes bulge out, your heartbeat begins to quicken as she begins to panic. As your husband intimidatingly takes a step towards you, "You had me scared there" Your eyes widened for a second, your unemotional husband cared? no, you shake your head refusing to believe this, he doesn't care about you. He just wants to own you, it's been that way since your third year at Hogwarts together. Tom just licks his lips, as he steps closer to you. "but only for a second"
Your heartbeat quickens each step he takes, your heart begins to sink. Why are you feeling this pull, Why out of everything, you want him to grab you? Why do you want nothing more than your husband to embrace you? You stand there, now conflicted listening to your husband's taunts. "But, I knew I'd catch you" Tom places a hand on your cheek, stroking it. You flinch at his touch for a mere second, causing him to release a slight chuckle at your defiance. Why did that chuckle give you goosebumps? Tom smirks at you, his wife, who nevertheless would always come back to him. He offers his hand saying, "Now come with me, I'm going to take you back inside"
You just stand there frozen, scared for what your husband will do. “I'm going to have to ask you a few questions about how you figured out how to get out here” Tom moves around you, taunting you as he begins his questioning.
“How long have you been planning this?”
He strokes his chin as he circles around your frozen state,
“So many questions” 
He brushes up against you, placing a kiss behind your ear. 
“Don’t worry, I’m going to take you back to your favourite place” and that gets you out of your frozen state.
“No, please no-”
“Yes doll, my special little basement”
“Tommy-”
He interrupts, “I’m going to get some nice candles and of course some rope. So you don’t try to do anything stupid again”
You just gulp, as his lips brush against your neck, “to you know, really set the mood” he continues he sneers. Tom goes to entwine his hand with yours but you stand there frozen, refusing your husband and his face hardens.
"Y/N Y/M/N Riddle, you take my hand right now. Before I choose to give you your punishment right here" For a brief time, your eyes flutter, and you want him to say it again. How did the mere mention of your name give you butterflies?
Tom circled around you one more time, until you were eye to eye. He grabs your left arm and begins to admire it, from the dark mark on your forearm to your wedding ring. The evidence of your entrapment to him.
Tom places a tender kiss on the sensitive skin on your forearm.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” he asks, it’s more of a comment than a question.
Though you never intended to become one, what kind of dark lord's bride would you be if you didn't?
It's not so much a title as it is a statement to the world. They refer to you as the queen of the death eaters, and it declares to the world that you are his. 
You’re a prize to be kept, trapped in this very mansion.
“You got me all worked up doll”
He goes to stroke your face, tears still falling down your cheeks, “only my beautiful wife can get me to feel this way”
Your eyes locked onto each other, and you can feel yourself giving in. 
How did this come to be, how’d you become a Riddle, the wife of the Dark Lord, the future mother to the next heir to Slytherin, the possession of Tom Riddle the third.
God, how'd she get so lucky?
Your eyes fall to your husband's figure, finally seeing the remnants of grass and dirt. The normally put together man looks dishevelled and unkempt. You felt guilt sink into your stomach, you caused this?
Why did she try to run again?
"Love?" Your eyes flicker back to your husband’s face.
Tom stands, his chest against yours, his hands now take hold of your face.
"Are you even listening to me?"
You gulps, your husband's intense eyes harden. "I'm becoming really agitated, you need to listen to me" he declares. "I’m sorry" Your cries. Tom just shakes his head giving you a disappointed look, dropping his hands. "Yeah? you're sorry?" He questions.
You begin to panic seeing your husband's stature begin to change.
That's not your husband anymore, that's the Dark Lord.
"Are you sorry that you struck my head?" Tom taunts as he takes a step forward, You then begins to take a step back.
Tom continues, "Are you sorry for taking my phone?"
YOU begin to feel yourself tear up again, anticipating what your husband is about to do.
"Are you sorry for trying to leave me?" Tom and You engage in a sort of dance in which you retract a step with each advance he makes. "Tommy-" You pleads, but before she knows it you're pushed against a tree.
“Take your clothes off” 
Tom leans in, his lips brushing against your cheek, “you know I wasn’t fully satisfied this morning, after you tried to service me”
He places a tender kiss on your left cheek, tasing your salty tears.
“So, I’m going to use you”
You close your eyes, as he kisses your other cheek before saying, “right here”
Another kiss on the tip of your nose, “outside”
Tom pushes your up against the tree, “on the dirty ground which I own”
You can barely hold it together, “Tommy please”
He shakes his head, “strip love”
You cringe, “no please”
“Take your fucking close off love, before I tear them off” and You for the first time glances around your and notices that the normally full backyard is empty. 
You don't know if you should be relieved or panic. Probably the latter. Is that why no one helped you? Your husband sent everyone home.
He smirks, understanding his wife's panic.
“I don’t care If you’re uncomfortable” Tom's hand is back stroking your cheek.
“You had me so worried for you” Tom confesses, your eyebrows crease. Still not used to your husband showing affection towards you.
His hand goes to stroke the crease between your brows trying to soften them, “you had me so uncomfortable all day” You watch toms hand stroke down to your lips, “you had me worried sick that you might have gotten away” 
He pulls in and presses a light kiss onto your lips before whispering, “now strip doll, let me see your whole body again” 
Your heart sinks, and with that you begin to undo your shirt. Correction, Tom's shirt. You swear you’d do anything for this man and that’s the problem.
You lift your short skirt, and pull down your underwear. Feeling all exposed in front of your husband.
Tom goes to admire your figure, “mm fuck, that’s what I love to see”
You can’t help the little smile that appears with his comment.
Tom’s hand goes back to your body feeling it, “your tits, fuck they’re beautiful” 
You gain some confidence as you lean into his hand letting him grab you. “And that ass” he pauses, giving it a slap, making you yelp.
“Fuck doll” he turns you around, your exposed front now rubs against the tree.
“Bend over, let me spank you” 
And you obey.
*Smack
“You’ve been so naughty” You shut your eyes, anticipating your husbands next few moves. Mentally counting each strike.
*Smack
“You definitely deserve this”
*Smack
“Bad girl”
And now why did that do something to you?
You move your hips closer towards him, he just chuckles.
“You like this don’t you doll” 
*smack
“Yeah, my little wife, my fuck doll”
*smack
“You love it when I spank you don’t you love”
*smack
“Is this why you ran away?”
*smack
“Well, tried is a better way to put it”
You bite your lip at that, both knowing he’s right.
*Smack
“You just wanted daddy to punish you?
Yes, you were caught, he knew you so well.
Sure, you had a proper reason to run away, the need for freedom. But you also knew that wasn’t possible. 
Ever since you encountered the enigmatic, menacing dark lord in the rear. You knew there was no way out. He instantly had you in his clutches.
*smack
“Oh fuck!” you groan, 
Your husband just smirks, “I knew you had a daddy kink”
*smack
“That’s why we had so many breeding sessions love”
*smack
“Because my wife, my doll wants nothing more than her daddy, her dark lord, her husband to breed this-” pauses to smack your ass.
*smack
“Tight”
*smack
“Little”
*smack
“Cunt”
You can hear him chuckle behind you, his arms wrap around your waist.
“You’re dripping”
You gulp as he turns you around.
“Look at me” he says, his eyes intense and commanding. 
“My love, you did this to yourself”
You can’t help but nod, as he lifts his hand. The same hand that made your ass red.
A tender stroke to your cheek, wiping the last remnants of tears.
“You promise not to run away from me?”
And you nod.
“Use your words” Tom jeers.
You gulp trying to compose yourself as you finally speak, “yes daddy, I promise”
A satisfied grin appears on your husband's face.
“That's my girl”
You can’t help but beam at his praise.
“Now, get on your hands and knees” 
You hesitate as the ground beneath you is wet, there’s a glint in your husband's eye at your delayed motion.
“Right there, yes in the mud” 
You once again nod, getting into position.
There's sloshing around as your exposed knees get all wet as you kneel on the ground.
“Fuck love, that’s it”
You spread your legs all for him to see. 
Tom bends down to rub your red ass, “such a slut” And smacks it one more time.
You yelp but are interrupted by the sound of his zipper.
You can’t help it but you begin to rub your ass against him, proving your husband right as your knees get deeper into the mud.
He chuckles to himself, “ You’re getting all wet and dirty for me”
And you bow for your dark lord, your husband, your daddy.
Tom taps his cock against your exposed ass. 
You can’t help but moan with anticipation.
“That’s it, tell daddy how much you want him”
He slides it down, teasing your slit.
“Oh fuck, please” you groan.
“Beg for your punishment” 
And you do, whimpers coming out as you begin to wag your ass. Pleading for more.
He slides it in, only to pull out.
It’s his turn to groan, “you’re so wet for me”
And you just nod, wanting more.
He places his cock through your slit and you grind into it.
“I need you to beg for me, beg for my forgiveness”
“Please daddy”
And he chuckles, as you tease his cock.
“I need more than that love”
As you now grab onto the tree holding yourself up as you rub against him.
“Please”
He halts your hips, holding his cock as he wags it up and down your slit making your eyes roll back.
“I won’t fuck you until you apologise”
And you groan as he teases the tip.
“I’m sorry daddy, please forgive-”
You sigh as he thrusts in before pulling out.
Tom chuckles behind you, “I’m sorry, you were saying something”
And you try again, “I’m sorry, my lord. I promise, I won’t ever run away from you again” 
“You promise?”
He gives your ass one more hard smack, almost pushing you into the tree.
“Fuck, yess! I promise you my lord” 
Tom grins, “that’s a good girl”
He finally starts fucking you.
“Now, tell me you’re sorry for running away”
I'm sorry!” you whine,
“If you run away again, I won’t be so nice and fuck you love”
You nod, trying your best holding yourself up against the tree.
“Fuck, the way you’re tightening up against me tells me everything”
Your eyes are closed, feeling immense pleasure.
“You’re mine, you have my name, my mark and soon my heir”
Tom’s pace gets quicker and harder.
He chuckles, pausing his thrusts, his hand going down to rub your back. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re already pregnant, maybe you are”
Tom gives one more firm thrust, “good, because you know. The second you give birth to my child. You both will be trapped with me-” he halts to thrust into you, “forever” 
“If you run away again, I won’t be so nice and fuck you love”
You nod, trying your best holding yourself up against the tree.
“Fuck, the way you’re tightening up against me tells me everything”
Your eyes are closed, feeling immense pleasure.
“You’re mine, you have my name, my mark and soon my heir”
Tom’s pace gets quicker and harder.
He chuckles, pausing his thrusts, his hand going down to rub your back. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re already pregnant, you probably are”
Tom gives one more firm thrust, “which is good, because you know. The second you give birth to my child. You both will be trapped with me-” he halts to thrust into you, “forever”
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inkdrinkerworld · 24 days
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Stitches, Films and Sponges Baths?
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Cw: fluff, shy!team doctor!reader, Dick being a flirty shit
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“Nightwing B-01, injured.” Calls the electronic voice through the comms and you get moving immediately.
“How bad is it?” You ask as you snap gloves on and reach for your kit.
“Bad enough that I’ll miss seeing your concentrated face, angel.” Dick flirts and you suck at your teeth.
The moment he comes into view, you realise that as much as he flirts he hadn’t been lying.
He’s cut under his eye, there’s another on his bicep and a tear in the side of his suit.
“Who did you lose a fight to?” That gets him to open his eyes and he spots a slight frown on your lips.
“I didn’t lose, I’m just a little more cut up than you’re used to seeing me.” You clean up his face first and your frown smooths out when you realise it's more blood than wound.
“This one isn’t too bad, maybe a butterfly stitch if you really want one. It should close within the day.”
Dick reaches for your gloved hand, “Put the stitch please, angel? Don’t want you having to stare at that cut every time you look at me;” he smiles and as if he’s reconsidered his statement he adds. “Unless it makes me look rugged and even hotter.”
Your body flushes, heat rushing through you and you nibble on your lip as you set the stitch on his cheekbone.
“You look fine, can you open your eyes now?”
He does, “Missed seeing them, did you?”
“Dick,” it’s only a warning, but he likes when you say his name so it’s one he elects to ignore- on the basis of the fact that if he does, you’re going to fluster even more. And he likes that even more.
“Your bicep isn’t too bad, just a scratch really. I’m more worried about your side, so I’m going to look at that first.”
His arms reach up for you to undress him and Dick bites his tongue to keep his smile at bay when your eyes widen and your fingers drag up his stomach as you lift off the top of his suit.
You wonder if he can tell that your pulse is rioting now?
He’s always been pretty, flirty and overly friendly to you and you’ve never known where to put all that.
Dick is gorgeous, he’s been gorgeous from the moment you’d been recruited here from the Bat, but he’s also never been by himself since you’ve been here- a little bit of a relationship man and while you’d love to pursue that, you don’t know if your poor heart will handle his flirty unleashed.
“It’s not so bad, just a little jagged so the stitching is going to hurt a bit. I’m sorry.”
Dick tuts, his heart clenching at how considerate you are- then he wonders if that’s just your bedside manner.
“No need for that, I can take a little pain.”
You nod, and get started with your needles and thread, closing up Dick’s wound with a steady hand.
“These are dissolvable, but they can still rip if you aren’t careful so you’re on bed rest until they dissolve.”
“How long will that take, angel? Trying to plan how many days I have with you.”
You clench your jaw to stop your smile, but Dick takes note of the way that your eyebrows jump and your eyes crinkle with little crow’s feet.
“A week or two for the most, but you can’t go around training like usual until they dissolve.”
He nods, “So what do you say to movie nights and reading challenges all week?”
You do let yourself smile then, Dick’s proposed things you like that he doesn’t necessarily find that mind blowing.
“And what will you do?” You ask, a vote of confidence to play along with his tease.
“Probably work on some tech stuff, but we’ll at least be together so you can have all the time in the world just staring at me till you’re ready to make a move.”
You grumble and scrub your face making Dick chuckle.
“That was mean, I’m sorry angel.” He coos and you look up to find him still smirking.
“Mhm, I totally believe you,” you finish his stitch and cover it with a piece of gauze and medical tape. “I don’t think I’ll be able to spend the entire week with you Grayson. I’ve got class.”
His eyebrows jump, “Class? Did you start a new programme?”
You nod, “Behavioral analysis.” Dick smiles, a little wicked at the confession. You move to his bicep, cleaning up the blood to find three claw-like marks tearing through his skin.
“Do you need real life case studies? I’ll be happy to help you out. You can analyse my behaviour when I’m with you.”
Your belly heats, and you’re sure the way you fluster is evident to Dick and that makes you feel even more bashful.
It’s clear he does feel a little bad about how flushed he’s making you when you feel his hand reach up to your cheek.
“I’ll stop for a little, angel. Don’t want you to pass out from all the heat you’re pushing out.”
“Dick!” You whine and he laughs, a full belly laugh that makes your frown turn to a small smile. “You’re the worst.”
You finish cleaning and dressing the scratches on his bicep, they only needed a few stitches on one of them.
“Oh am I?” He coos and you grumble, biting your lip to stop from swearing at him. “Okay okay, I’ll really stop now.” He promises; you look up at him through your lashes as you pull away from his hand and start cleaning up.
“Wanna watch a film with me?” He asks as you finish cleaning, his body suddenly tired now that he’s not worried about flirting and teasing you.
“One of your black and white French films?” It’s his turn to flush a little, clearly not expecting anyone to notice his choice in movies. “You always leave the disk in, and I don’t think anyone else is watching espionage French films except you.” You explain with a little smile.
“Maybe not a French one, we can do Russian or Spanish- I know you watch those.”
You shrug, “We can trade off, one French, one Spanish.”
Dick nods, groaning as he stands. His hand pressed tight to his side. “Why don’t you choose first, angel. Gonna get Alfred to sponge me off,” he pauses at the door, a mischievous smirk on his lips as he turns back to you. “Unless you want to do it, which I have zero objections to.”
“Go get your sponge bath Grayson, I’ll be in the media room.”
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s-4pphics · 3 months
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click!: in frame. 1 (e.w.)
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SYNOPSIS: you crave redemption more than love. [idk au]
WORD COUNT: 7.7k
WARNINGS: professionalphotographer!ellie, strugglingartist!oc who’s black, ANGST!!, loss and unhealthy grieving, papa issues, verbally abusive parent(PLEASE TREAD LIGHTLY), depictions of therapy and counseling, light discussion of anger management, brief mention of alcohol, bullying, a lil fluff, SMUT!! YIPPEE MDNI, bondage, squirting, bathroom sex, eating out no taqueria, ellie getting sloppy from a hot milf that’s it 
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You look like your mom. 
Your father’s admiring whisper yanks you out of the hazy turbulence in your mind. You shovel a handful of caramel popcorn in your mouth. You don’t dare look at him. 
Daughter things, I guess. Your dad simply hums. Silence simmers between the two of you. It’s not comforting. Not like it should be. A bomb is coming. 
Honey, I… I love you. Your father sounds like he's crying and it pauses your aggressive chewing. You finally turn to face him and your fingers twitch when you see his globby tears. They’re heavy as he releases his regrets in silence, just like he always does during this time of year. 
Me, too, dad. 
You’re not sure if you’re lying or not. Some things are impossible to forget, you suppose. 
You eat more popcorn with a permanently damaged heart. 
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FOUR YEARS LATER
FIRST DAY WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 
“Some people believe that any form of assistance is… insulting. Whether it be to them as people or… specific traits that they hold that others may find unfamiliar or unsettling. I’m not here to judge or anything of that nature. Just here to help you figure out why specific aspects of your life affect you the way they do.” 
Your arms cross over your chest. Dr. Brown realizes you’re not taking the bait, so she attempts to get you more comfortable. “I think icebreakers could help ease some of the tension. So… What’s your favorit— “
“My dad died last year.” 
Your statement makes her freeze, her smile melting off her face, eyes shifting across her face. She adjusts some papers on her clipboard and clicks her pen. “Alright, hun,” Her gentle tone makes your stomach twist. “Let’s talk about it. What was the relationship with your dad like?” You simply shrug. 
Dr. Brown nods and tries again. “Were you and him close? Your notes say you and your mother were inseparable, just like me and mine.” 
Your nails sink into your cuticles and tears burn in your eyes, “I… I wanted to be. Close.” You whisper. “He wasn’t around like that, though.” 
She scribbles and solemnly nods, “Did he work often?” Your head bobs and droplets stream down your cheeks. 
“I didn’t think I’d care that he died… He was never around growing up, so… like, whatever.” You grumble lamely.
“What did losing him feel like?” 
The end of your mouth curls downward, the familiar searing you’ve grown to loathe, “Like… the world was burnin’.” 
“Elaborate.” She pries softly. 
Another bounce from your shoulders. You readjust in your seat. “I wasn’t even sad. Just…” You trail off, fingers twitching under your arm. 
“Angry. I was angry all the time.” You rush out quietly, face burning with shame. “Just like he was.” You pause when your breath shakes, “I wish I got some of my mom’s traits. My dad’n I are just alike.” You fiddle with the sleeves of your sweater. 
“… You’re not like him— “
“I am— “
“You’re not. You’re trying to put in effort to be better for the future. Could he have said the same?” She’s stern when she speaks.
You’re stumped. You wipe your tears harshly. For the first time, you're at a loss for words. 
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WEEK TWO WITH DOCTOR BROWN. 
“Think about the first time you saw your dad lash out. You can elaborate on how you felt, how you reacted, how your environment changed… Anything you feel comfortable sharing.” Your eyes stay glued to your therapist’s couch as you recall the day. Every detail and foul verbiage he directed towards your mother resurfaces and falls at your sock-covered feet. 
It was the morning of your first day of second grade. Your mother spent the entire morning hot-combing your hair, bumping your ends, littering your locks that were bound to recoil in seconds in bobbles and clips. She could tell by your expression that you didn’t like it, but she completed your bright pink outfit with it’s not for you, it’s for me! Sit still!  She never failed to live vicariously through you; Every childhood moment she couldn’t live out was now yours. 
Your father wasn’t around much. He was a truck-driver, on a constant voyage to wherever he was instructed to go, hundreds to thousands of miles away from solace for months — sometimes years at a time. He missed birthdays, holidays, family reunions; There was always a missing space for him somewhere in your childhood home, whether it be his customized keychain that he forgot, shoes he didn’t pack, a hug he didn’t give. Proof of him was always scattered around somewhere, but he was a shadow. A blank memory. 
So, why were your cartoons interrupted by his booming voice in the kitchen? 
You remember turning the television down, only by a couple digits, your ears honing in on every word he screamed at your mother. You were so confused. Half of those words you’d never heard before. Why was he so mad this early in the morning? 
You knew it was serious when your mother retaliated just as loudly, the cracks and shrieks from her belts sounding alarms in your brain. Your mom’s in trouble! Help her! But how could you? You were defenseless against him. It felt like the day flew by as their aggression intensified, curses nearly shattering the glass of your backyard door before everything went quiet. 
But still, your feet carried you to peek behind the wall that separated the living room from the kitchen. Your attempts at being discreet were pointless, though. When you saw your mother pinned up against the counter by your father, tears streaming down her face as he spat with every whisper onto her cheek, you gasped. Your memory is washy after that, but you remember your mother wiping her tears and slapping that comforting grin on her face. You wish you didn’t remember how broken she sounded when she said alright, baby! Ready for school? Don’t wanna be late! 
You suffered through social studies, language arts, and math. Your mind wasn’t where it should’ve been; You couldn’t shake the fact that your mother could be hurt and she had no one to tell. You just prayed to yourself as your teacher spoke, hoping that your mom would be on time to pick you up at the end of the day. 
Your eyes travel over the teal incisions of thread on your therapist’s seat. You’re still not used to the sound of your own voice. “It’s… it’s a funny story…” You sound so weak. You retell what you can, all while following the tip of your therapist’s scribbling pen. 
Why did it have to be green? Why are the clicks deafening? 
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“Ellie, holy fucking — shit, these look fucking incredible!” Yuki whispers, expression impressed as she snoops over the auburn-haired girl’s shoulder, inspecting the aerial shots she’d taken a few hours ago. Editing is a bitch. “I don’t know how you do it. You’re…” 
“A genius, I know,” Ellie says dryly, a soft grin hidden behind the hand that holds her head up. It’s almost eleven. “M’almost done— “
“Nope! Not happening!” Another voice exclaims from the black lounge chair on the opposite side of the room. “You’re not the one that has to lock up every goddamn night! I ain’t stayin’ here ‘til two again! You got two seconds to finish up before I drag you up outta here.” 
Yuki giggles at Saliyah’s scolding, and Ellie sighs. The pictures look almost perfect. Almost. They’re not there yet! All she needs is an hour… or three—
“What did I say! —“
“Alright, alright, fuck.” Ellie shakes her head before closing all her tabs, pulling her flash drive out of the PC before shutting it down. She stands from her rolling chair and snags her blazer from over the back of it, throwing it over her shoulders and grabbing her work bag, camera already securely inside. She shoves the drive in a random pocket before stretching. 
The two girls already have all of their belongings in hand, more than ready to clock the fuck out. Yuki eyes her slyly, sarcasm dripping from her tone, “Oh, wooow, she’s actually taking orders, now? Listening to instructions for the first time? —“
“Can you stop.” Ellie mutters as she follows the girls descending the stairs. “No!” They both say in unison. Ellie smiles. Does she really stay out that often? There’s no way she’s that stubborn. 
All three girls crack jokes as they vacant the building, ensuring all the lights and equipment are shut off and prepped for tomorrow. It’s an early day. 
“Alright, bitches!” Yuki screams into the darkness, bag swinging as her heels click-clack on the pavement. “I want you bright and bushy-tailed tomorrow! Busy day! No time to fuck arou— “ 
Saliyah yawns, eyes droopy, “Girl… fuck you.” Ellie cackles and rubs her tired eyes. She can’t wait to get these six hours in. And see her baby. Saliyah wraps her arms around Ellie’s neck, muttering see you tomorrow, stinker into her neck. Ellie hums and holds her before watching her get into her vehicle. 
Ellie does the same after both girls leave the parking lot, her head falling back onto the headrest, eyes shutting in exhaustion. Today was insane… Fuck, it was incredible. She's always accepted opportunities to take photos in nature. Landscapes are her prestige, but when she got the offer to take aerial shots of the ocean, she couldn’t say no. Just when she thought she’d never get on an aircraft out of fear…  
The shots were mystical, the monsoon winds carrying the waves in all directions as the foams ripple, a scene straight out of her dreams. The second she got off the helicopter, she got to editing. Staying in late to perfect her captures has become a terrible habit, but what can she say? She loves her job. Thank God her coworkers are as sweet as cherry pie and support her bad habit. Besides tonight, apparently. 
Days like this keep Ellie humbled… Most times. She deserves to boast every once in a while. She often thinks back on her college days, how out of touch chances like these seemed. The number of times she was brushed off by respected professionals because she lacked “necessary resources” was astronomical. But look at her now. She had everything she could ever want: a career she’s passionate about, healthy friendships, and the means to take care of her father. 
Well… she has most things. 
She sighs and starts her vehicle, the diamonds in her Rolex sparkling under the street lights beaming in from the window. The streets are calm. Not normally bustling like they would on a regular day. The clouds are coming in; Rain is due. She’s so excited. 
It’s a calm drive back to her small home. She pulls into the driveway and exits with all her supplies, unlocking and entering her place of peace. 
Meow! Meow! 
Ellie clicks her tongue at Pickle, “Hiii, mama. I’m home.” She drops her bag on the small couch near the front door, bending down to pick her up. “You’re heavy, fuck.” The baby purrs and nuzzles into her neck as they enter the kitchen. She sets her down on the counter and opens the fridge for water. There’s soft scuffling from behind her as she sips. 
Ellie turns to see Pickle playing with a pen, rolling it across granite. She swallows her last gulp before sighing, picking up the utensil, the one memory she kept of you. Your colorful fucking custom ballpoint pen. Pickle nibbles her fingers, trying to snatch it back to play with, but Ellie clicks it over and over. 
“Miss her? Yeah?” She whispers. Pickle licks her index. Ellie will never admit it, but she thinks about you whenever she sees her baby. Yours, too.
She hopes you’re alright.
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“You said that going to his funeral was different from your mom’s. Do you mind elaborating?” 
You shrug and scoff. “Shouldn’t everybody feel sad when they parents die?” Dr. Brown mimics you, “Not at all. Every reaction to loss is different and not all reactions are symmetrical.” 
“I was angry.” Your statement is blunt and abrasive. 
“Expound.” 
“I wanted to dig him up and spit on him my damn self.” You say, sharp as razor blades. Brown hums, unfazed by your sudden aggression; What the hell do therapists write on those clipboards? “I just… Seein’ all these fuckers I didn’t know talk about how fuckin’… great he was and how missed he’ll be was fuckin’ infuriating. They don’t know shit about that man or the shit he’s done.” 
Sympathy washes over Dr. Brown’s pupils. “See, your temper is the reason you’re here. You’re not obligated to forgive anybody that wronged you, but…” She’s simultaneously stern and empathic, “You do not get to use those emotions to inflict negativity onto the people around you. You’re perpetuating the same harm you wanted to avoid in the first place.”  
You instantly know what she’s referring to and guilt radiates all the way down to your toes. Amaya… Oh, you miss her. Another good person caught in your violent crossfire. Your last conversation was vile, and you hate yourself every day for the things you said to the only person who unconditionally cared about your wellbeing. Tears brew in your ducts, but you blink them away. 
“I didn’t… know what to do…” You didn’t, so you screamed and shouted and told her to never call your fucking phone again. The last thing you berated was the final nail in the coffin for your relationship. You left me, you’d said over and over until the line went dead. You left me alone! I fucking needed you! 
“No one has the answers for these types of situations. Why we react the way that we do to traumatic events will always be a mystery.” She adjusts in her chair, leg crossing over the other. “What I do know is that… you’re fighting grief. You’re choosing not to experience it, and it’s making you lash out on people who don’t deserve it.” 
But how does one grieve the person that made their life… unlivable? Through rage. Rage in its purest form: unfiltered, erratic, sizzling. It’s unrelenting and unforgiving and holds no bounds, prepared to be released at any moment, no matter who’s present. Your father’s home has seen it all at this point: glass shattering on walls, screaming into the closet where all his clothes hang, punching the pillow he slept on every night. 
Everything was exactly where your father left it, and instead of crying, you relinquished hell on the home he left in your name. You’re still surprised it wasn’t engulfed in flames after his funeral. 
“I just…” Harsh sniffles from you, desperately wiping your tears with damp hoodie sleeves, “I don’t know what to do. Nothing feels… real anymore.” 
“You’re real, baby.” This is the most delicate Dr. Brown has ever sounded, tone hushed. “Your feelings are real, your pain is real, but so is everyone else’s. You have to remember that.” 
You’re listening so intently, “What I'd suggest…” You already know what she’s going to say, and you’re petrified. You sag into your seat. 
You owe those two girls an apology.
Flashes of green race across your memory. The meadows are back, and they’re haunting. 
“Three.” You whisper. 
“Hm?” 
“I owe…” A heavy exhale. “Three girls an apology.” 
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OCTOBER, 2013 
Ellie’s officially fifteen. She’d give anything to be home right now. 
She was so happy before she left that morning. Her dad woke her up with a heaping stack of iced chocolate chip pancakes that were the size of her head and happy birthday candles. Laughter echoed through their household, following as they cascaded down the stairs to blast music. Neighbors be damned. Everything was perfect. Up until she was dressed and ready and in the car. 
Ellie’s dad held her hand the entire drive. He didn’t comment on her white knuckles as she gripped his digits when he kissed the back of her hand. It took her a second to exit the car when they arrived, so he said the usual. You got this, kiddo. The extra encouragement provided a boost, for sure. She was able to get to class on time. 
Every time a wad of paper or a sharpened pencil hits the back of her head, she regrets not begging her dad to let her stay home. She’s grown used to the snickers, the shoulder chucks in the hallway, but it doesn’t hurt any less.
English concludes and she’s silently packing when her bag gets yanked out of her hand. 
Missed you, stalker, A kid who Ellie doesn’t fucking remember snarks with a dark grin. Where’s that book you always have—
Tyler! The teacher’s voice booms, the class filling with oooh’s, That's enough. Give her stuff back now. 
C’mooon, I can’t talk to my girlfriend? The remaining students burst into laughter and Ellie’s face burns, swallowing the lump that’s forming in her throat. 
How about I call home? Tyler sucks his teeth at the threat while his friends laugh, dropping Ellie’s things on her desk with little care. She wastes no time to flee, shoving her earpods in and synching each trembling breath with the heavy percussion. 
Her dad comes to pick her up an hour later. 
-
-
A light tap on your shoulder tears your attention away from the lengthy equations on the board. Numbers and letters? Your fucking ass; Absolutely not!
You turn to Amaya, who’s smiling wide, shoving a folded note in your hand, rushing you to open it. Your brows crease as you face forward, unraveling the nest crevices and met with… hearts? Glitter? Pretty penmanship? No man wrote this, thank God. 
Hi. You’re really pretty and nice. Would you like to sit with me during lunch? 
Ceniyah 
… Ceniyah? … Thee Cece? The person you’ve been obsessed with since middle school? What the fuck is going on! 
You turn back to Amaya who’s giggling into her palm, catching glimpses of a shy Ceniyah, who keeps her head down, her beaded braids shielding her face. Your face burns and you jerk back forward. It’s not a fucking prank, what the fuck, what the fuck—
Class drags like a bitch, but the bell finally rings, and everyone hustles, shoving books in their bags, running to the cafeteria. You refuse to move, though. Your iron is low and the person you’re in love with asked you to crunch on celery sticks with her. Alone. You're bound to pass out the second you breathe wrong. 
Hi.
You nearly fly out of your seat at her soft tone. She sounds like an angel. You’re going to die. You jump out of your chair and… take in the beauty that she is. She smells like heaven and her skin is perfect, not a blemish in sight. You hope she can’t see your acne scars… and she’s shorter than you. Are minors allowed to get married? 
H-Hey, You hold up the pink piece of construction paper, I, uh, got your note… It’s beautiful. Her smile shines brighter than the sun. She shakes her head and the chains locked on her clips tinker like fairies. 
Are you kiddin’ me! That mural you helped create was crazy. That was beautiful. 
I love you. 
Your eyes go wide. Did you say that? You don’t think you said that… Her smile turns confused and you realize you said that. You almost stab yourself with your pencil. I mean, like, I love how you appreciate art! Like, not m-many people… do that, and stuff…
She smirks and your heart squeezes with delight, And stuff? She inquires with an arched brow. 
I’d appreciate it if you ladies headed to lunch so I can enjoy mine. Your teacher interrupts, And the next note that gets passed earns a detention. 
A soft, floral-scented hand closes around your wrist, over your beaded bracelets and charms. You grab your bag with your last remaining strength and follow her like a puppy, her flowy skirt brushing against the bottoms of your jean-clad legs. 
Best… day… ever. 
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PRESENT 
Ellie needs to start doing finger stretches. Her hands are starting to hurt every time she clocks out. 
She’s sitting at her desk, re-editing the infant photos she took earlier today. The twin girls from earlier were absolute angels, smiling and cooing up at the camera behind their matching pink pacifiers. She's never thought about having children… ever, but it might not be so bad—
Meow! Meow, meow! MeowMEOW—
… Nevermind. Kids are not for her. She can barely get this one to act right. The pictures are cute, though. 
“What’s the matter, mama?” She coos down at a doe-eyed kit-kat. “Hungies?” Pickle jumps up and into her lap, staring at the bright screen that displays Ellie’s editing software. Ellie smirks down at her, “What, you wanna try?” 
Pickle blinks up at her. No thoughts, just kibble. 
She decides to save her progress on the photos and give her munchkin some love. The few minutes of head pats and runs are cut short when she gets a pop-up from her email. She pays it no mind at first, but she zeroes in on the subject with furrowed brows. It simply reads hi… an overdue apology. Ellie blinks a couple times before suspecting spam… But who the fuck names a spam email something that cryptic? What the fuck? 
Ellie opens it… and her body goes numb as her eyes follow each word. 
hi, ellie. i’m not sure how to start this off, but i hope it’s decent enough to sit through. i apologize in advance. 
you probably don’t remember me, but we had statistics and used to live together in college. it was only for two months (i think, kind of a blur) but… yeah. i hope it semi-kinda rings a bell. hi again.
this is a very random time to reach out, and i understand any confusion, but i just wanted to apologize for everything. i was terrible to you. i'd never thought i'd become a judgmental person, but i did. i mocked you, i spoke behind your back, and probably ruined your last year of school, and i carry that regret with me everywhere i go. i’m not sure if i'll ever be able to express my remorse properly. 
i’m trying to do better. i want to do better, but i can’t unless i express it. 
you never have to talk to me again, and i understand if you don’t, but if you ever want to have a conversation with me, i’d be more than willing to come wherever you are to do so. or we can exchange numbers if it’s less of a hassle. i see how busy you are. 
thank you if you took out any time to read this jumbled mess of thoughts. i’m very nervous. i hope you continue to live beautifully. 
sincerely, someone trying to start fresh. 
(p.s. i swear i'm not a stalker. you’re really popping on instagram. congratulations on everything.) 
Ellie wastes no time and unplugs her entire PC, the screen going black. Her heart is racing and water surfaces above her pupils. Pickle purrs in her arms as she backs her rolling chair from under the desk and scurries into her bedroom. She sets the kitty down on her bed and clutches her chest. She forgets to count, forgets to breathe as detailed images of you scatter in her head. 
You… what the fuck.
Ellie feels her hands start to shake, so she squeezes them in a fist as she paces. Her gasps are choked and she’s spiraling into panic; She can’t unsee your teary, brown eyes, how you tried to mask your sadness when she stated she was leaving. She was able to convince herself that she’d never see you again, and it took her so long to be okay with that. She’s grown to be okay without your presence.
The burnt trail she left behind has reignited again. She's sinking, drowning, just like she did years ago. 
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WEEK FIVE WITH DR. BROWN
“How do you feel now? Be honest.” 
“… Still shitty… but alright, I guess.” You’re hoarse when you speak. 
“Elaborate. What does alright mean for you?” 
You pick at your fingers, “I’m not… I don’t wanna, like, kill myself… if that’s what you’re asking. The ball’s in their court now, I guess. I’m… I’m just alright.” Your shoulders bounce in a shrug. 
“Has anyone answered?” Your head shakes in denial. “Don’t let that jeopardize your progress. However they react to you contacting them is not on you anymore. They either accept it or they don’t, and they’re valid in both options.” 
Dr. Brown pauses and eyes you skeptically, “What?” You ask. 
She shrugs, “One person isn’t on your making amends list.” 
Your reply is immediate, “Probably for a reason.” 
“Do you remember what you told me during our first meeting?” 
Irritation boils under your skin. “I see where you’re taking this conversation and I’m not messin’ wit’ it… Respectfully. Next topic, please.” 
Her hands raise in surrender, “Ay’, I’m not here to make you do diddly-squat. Merely providing perspective.” 
“Right.” 
“You did beat that girl to a pulp, though. I will say— “
“It’s what she deserved.” You say flatly. “She… humiliated me, and when her bitch left, she tried to come back to me. Get me pregnant— “
“Chile, I’m not tryna hear all that— “
You scoff and fall back in your seat, cushions and pillows molding with the curve of your spine. Dina bringing her happy ass to your father’s home after his death was one of the most infuriating experiences of your entire goddamn life. The second you opened the door, you were met with wildfire and permanently scarred. The least you could do is give her a fucking black eye. 
What you did after that… you’ll never regret. Ever. She can blast you on Twitter all she wants; She’s dead to you. 
Dr. Brown sips on her black tea with a pointed stare, “Yes, ma’am?” You say sarcastically. 
“Watch that tone,” That look in her eye… she meant that. You’ll be quiet. “She was wrong for what she did, but you ain’t innocent.” 
“I’m sorry, but I disagree. That one… she can choke. I don’t care.” Dr. Brown is disappointed by your answer, but frankly, you don’t care. That ship sailed and sank like the goddamn Titanic. 
She seems disappointed in your answer, but she lets it go. “… Alright, then.” 
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On the brink of a heart attack perfectly explains how Ellie’s been feeling for the past week. The number of times she’s reread your fucking email is genuinely embarrassing, but she’s weighing her options: she either blocks you or accepts your offer. She's never been so conflicted in her life. She desperately needs a fucking break. 
She never takes Saliyah and Yuki up on their offers to turn up on Friday nights, but her rampant emotions backed her into a corner… and now she’s tipsy on the dancefloor of some rinky-dink club. One night of release wouldn’t hurt. 
Ellie really wishes she had a grilled cheese. They’re quite delicious… Probably not the thoughts she should be having with a hot older woman pushing back on her to fucking T-Pain, but she’s hungry! Liquor gives her the appetite of a fucking rhinosaurous, what can she say! 
Saliyah and Yuki are handling business for her, though, giving the lady’s ass very encouraging slaps every time their hips connect. Ellie probably looks like a fucking dumbass as she pumps her fist in the air like an old man, but she can’t remember the last time she partied. Sue her! 
It’s not until the woman stands upright, her sweaty, nearly bare back pressed against Ellie’s button-up, an arm coming up to loop around her neck, slightly shifting her bow tie that Ellie freezes, her fists clenching even tighter in the air. Her core gives a sharp squeeze when she feels sticky, glossed lips imprint on her throat. Her eyes bulge as she frantically searches for guidance from her friends, but they’re no fucking help, as usual! What the hell is miming sex and eating pussy going to do for her? She can barely breathe. 
Her friends shoot her finger guns in encouragement before heading back to the bar. A tongue darts out to lap up her anxiety-induced sweat, and her body tremors, her hands untwisting to land on the girl’s jean covered hips for leverage. She feels teeth beam on her neck and her entire body flushes. 
“You’re adorable!” Ellie hears her scream over the blasting music. Her tongue jumbles as she searches for a reply, but nothing leaves. She just drops her head onto the woman’s shoulder… and nearly flat lines when she eyes the cleavage sitting taut in her halter top. Her heart’s pulses synch with the ones from her clit when the woman giggles. Ellie’s ninety-five-point six percent sure that her nipples are poking through her shirt. 
Her teeth sink into the inside of her cheek when the woman spins to face her, chest to chest, noses almost touching. The woman’s gaze drops to her neck, cunning as a fox as she undoes the first button of her shirt before unraveling the loop of her bow tie. She leans in, wafts of cinnamon flooding Ellie’s nostrils. 
“Come to the bathroom with me?” Ellie’s nodding before the lady can conclude the purr in her ear. Her hand gets snagged and she’s being dragged through the hot crowd, all the way to the back of the club and shoved into the giant restroom. She finally takes in the goddess in front of her: dark hair, plump lips, pretty lashes. The wrinkles by her eyes and laugh lines are sending dopamine alarms in her brain. 
Ellie receives one gentle kiss that makes her hips
grind forward before she hears, “You ever been tied up?” The raven-haired woman mumbles against her mouth. She whines, cheeks burning, “N-No,” she whispers. 
Her perfect teeth shine, “You wanna be?” 
Does she? “I — yeah, I guess?” 
“Put your wrists together,” she hums and Ellie does. Her own bow tie gets looped and twisted around her nimble hands. The woman drops to her knees in front of the trembling girl, massaging her thighs over her jeans, planting kisses all over them, “You gotta name, honey?” 
“Ellie… M’Ellie…” The woman’s hands creep up to unbutton her jeans, the soft hiss of the zipper, “What’s yours?” She only receives a shrug. “Whatever you want it to be.” Her jeans are yanked down seconds later, her… fucking Cartoon Network boxers drenched all the way through. The woman giggles and calls Ellie a cutie pie and her clit jumps. 
Her manicured nails hook under the band of Ellie’s boxers, slowly inching them down until her soft, sticky hairs are on display and her boxers are around her knees, “Gonna let me eat this pussy out, angel?” 
Ellie’s vision whites out. Only for a second, “Y-Yes, ma’am…”
Ellie’s sopping lips and pulled apart, her red, throbbing clit on display for the fucking witch in front of her. “You’re so fuckin’ cute. Anybody ever play with this pretty cunt?” Reality crashes down on her like a boulder as images of you touching her, kissing her flash before her eyes. Her jaw slacks as her words flurry. 
“Just — fuck, just one time.” 
“Yeah?” She coos, massaging gentle circles on her clit, “I'm your lucky second?” Ellie nods frantically. Her knees buckle when a sharp slap lands on her pussy, “Ffuck—“ The strokes on her clit are punishing, fast and non-stopping, the woman’s teeth gritted when she asks, “Steppin’ out on your girl, huh?” 
Ellie moans around her denial while her cheeks glow, “N— agh, s-shit, wasn’t m’girl—“
“Yeah? She touch you like me?” The woman snickers, and Ellie burns red. She’s already so close and she can’t fucking think, “Think m’cummin’—“ Ellie slurs, her tongue thick in her mouth as her walls squeeze down, desperately trying to pull something, anything in as deep as possible. 
“Can feel it. Tell me when.” But Ellie couldn’t. Her orgasm crashes into her like a fucking truck and her body falls forward, legs trembling as it wracks through her in harsh waves. The thighs that try to close are forced open, sharp stings radiating off her skin from the nails that pierce them. Strong suctions attack Ellie’s clit and she sobs, practically riding the woman’s face. Vibrations from satisfied hums stimulate her further, and she swears she’s going to pass out. 
The pleasure builds all over again and her eyes squeeze shut, her hips thrusting forward and into the woman’s mouth. Her optics cycle into her skull when the space right below her clit gets stimulated just right and she rides that edge all over again, but this time, it’s stronger. The woman’s groaning in her pussy like she’s starving, and Ellie can barely garble her warning of another orgasm. 
She squeaks when a gentle finger slides between her walls and she wishes it felt like yours did. Ellie’s bound hands entangle in the soft locks and pull, pushing her head any which way to guide her where she needs. She doesn’t register that she’s whining your name until the woman asks, “Tha’s your girl?” Right on her pussy, and Ellie tips.
She’s so loud when she explodes all over this stranger’s face, wetness coating her inner thighs, dripping all the way down to the bottoms locked around her ankles. You take refuge in the nasty side of her brain as she envisions you between her legs, you making her feel this good. Something about the way you touch her… She thinks it's impossible to replicate till this day. 
When Ellie comes down, she falls against the door, relishing in the steady kitten licks on her twitching bud. One last gentle kiss, and the woman separates from the mess between Ellie’s thighs, chest wet with her juices. 
“Good, honey?” 
Ellie blinks like she’s risen from the dead, short hair clinging to her forehead. She shoots the woman two thumbs up and she chuckles, untying Ellie’s hands and helping her back onto her feet. The woman helps her redress after she cleans herself up, and Ellie’s nose twitches when her own stickiness latches onto her clothes. Her arms fall back to her sides when her belt gets secured. 
She’s winded when she finally speaks, “Um… thanks…” How the fuck does Ellie say goodbye to someone who sucked her soul out?
“No problem…” The woman’s warm hands are soft as they push away damp strands from Ellie’s forehead. The freckled girl nearly purrs. Call her Pickle at this point. 
Ellie steps away from the door so that the fucking seductress can exit. The woman backs away and unlocks the door with a gentle smile. “You should text her.” 
Ellie’s stomach churns. “… What.” 
“The girl that’s not your girl.” That’s the last thing she says before stepping out. Ellie’s heart plummets when her eyes lock with Saliyah’s, then Yuki’s. Her friends gawk at her disheveled appearance, lipstick stains littered all over her button up. Ellie’s not nearly as embarrassed as she should be; All she can think about is you. 
“I think I’m in trouble.” Ellie states mindlessly.
“Doesn’t look like it.” Yuki snickers and pulls Ellie out of the bathroom. She hides her face when she’s met with the long line of people desperately needing to piss. 
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WEEK SEVEN WITH DOCTOR BROWN.
“You look bright.” 
You feel brighter. Just a little bit. You’ve finally gotten your locs retwisted. 
“Amaya texted me back.” Dr. Brown seems impressed at your statement, happy for you. A small smile makes its way onto your face. 
“Yeah? What’d Ms. Producer say?” 
“She, um… She wants to have dinner.” 
“Oh? And what’d you say?” 
“I said of course and then sobbed until I got here.” Dr. Brown chuckles, “When’s the big meal?” 
“In two days. I got a hotel near where she’s at, so… Yeah. Probably won’t see me for a little.” 
“Good for you, honey.” She says proudly, “Heard from any others?” Your head shakes. It’s not surprising that Abby and Ellie haven’t reached out to you. They don’t owe you any closure, even though it took you a while to accept your karma. 
“Progress is progress, nonetheless.” Her tone reverts back to stern, “Remember… when you see that girl, don’t expect anything to come from it. She’s going out of her way to speak with you, not the other way around.” 
Your head bows shamefully. You're incredibly nervous to see your best friend… if you deserve to call her that anymore. Anxiety isn’t foreign to you, but you’re anticipating the worst for your meeting. You’d give anything to mend your relationship with Amaya, but how’re you going to be able to overcome the guilt of abandoning her?
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You can’t remember the last time you went to the campus coffee shop. 
When Amaya sent you her new address in the middle of your old college city, you sobbed for half an hour. You’re not sure why considering the entirety of your graduating class is gone (hopefully in hell); It’s a mix of emotions coming back here. The baristas that used to work here have been replaced with new bushy-tailed freshmen with under eye bags. The coffee isn’t the best, but it’s oddly nostalgic. You feel fucking old just looking at their bright customer service smiles.
Your attention gets snagged away from your steaming cup when a sharp gasp echoes from behind you, nearly spilling your drink all over your flannel when someone calls your name. Anxiety spikes in your gut when you see… 
Who is that? 
“Oh my goodness! Sweetheart!” An older woman with gray hair and a cardigan places her hand on your shoulder and your eyes bulge out of your skull. “It’s so good to see you!”
What the fuck is going on? “You... You, too, uh… ma’am!” You put on the most believable smile you can. Is your memory really this fucking bad?
“Students don’t usually stick around after this long! Our major was pretty small, you know how it is.” Major… Students… Graphic design… Professor! Your memory clicks but her name doesn’t. What the fuck is this woman’s name! You feel like a cunt all over again! 
“I’d love to catch up if you’re sticking around!” 
“Um… yeah, of course.” Her smile is bright when she enters the line. Relief floods through you when she gets to the service counter and one of the baristas says good morning, Professor Meyers! 
You silently thank the Lord. 
-
-
“What brings you back to town, honey!” Professor Meyers asks excitedly. 
“Um… just missin’ school, I guess.” You lie. Fuck this school. 
She swallows her sip of tea before pausing, “Wow. First time I heard that. I didn’t see you at graduation!” 
Your chest concaves and your face burns, “I, uh. I didn’t graduate. I dropped out.” Professor Meyers' expression drops, pity written all over her face. 
“Wh— Why?” 
You shut down her interrogation, “I just… stuff happened. I couldn’t handle everything all at once.” Her eyes sadden and she places a comforting hand on top of yours. 
“I’m so sorry, honey. Whatever it was… I hope it’s okay, now.” 
“Getting through it.” You shrug, feigning nonchalance. The air is suddenly suffocating. 
“Y’know… if you’re interested…” Professor Meyers’ tone is suggesting. Your brow quirks at the woman plotting in front of you. 
“Some of the art profs are always looking for some extra help for the introductory courses. Your rough drafts were always pretty spectacular.” 
Your body burns. “Thank you.” 
She smiles and reaches into her bag in the other chair, pulling out a small card and handing it to you. “This is my contact information. I can set you an interview with Professor Ronson if you’d wanna join the little alumni support team.” 
You accept her card, “But I’m not… I didn’t graduate— “
“Oh, hush now! If you go to college, you’re an alumni! These exclusive rules are outdated!” Professor Meyers stands with her bag and tea. “I gotta run, but please consider it! It could be a great marketing opportunity for you!” 
You're left to simmer in your thoughts as she rushes out of the cafe. You didn’t even have the chance to tell her that you haven’t touched a canvas since your father’s funeral. 
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You waltz into the upscale restaurant with tied lungs. Prepping an outfit for tonight was a hassle; You were forced to rummage through your father’s closet for suitable attire. You can’t remember the last time you made a purchase for yourself. 
You feel out of place standing here with the… upper class. They’re dressed to the nines and it’s incredibly intimidating. Your eyes cast downward to your wrinkly shirt and blazer; Why didn’t you bring a fucking iron? 
“How can I help you, miss?”
Your eyes bulge when they lock with the host’s and gut churns with discomfort. Your legs wobble closer to the counter, “I— there’s… reservation…”
The host stares at you with utter confusion, “Oh, sure! What’s the name?” 
“Um… Amaya— “
“Ms. Robinson?” The host’s eyes fill with glitter, “Oh my gosh, when I saw her walk in earlier, I was like, no way she’s actually here. This is crazy! But it was really her! I couldn’t believe— “
Another host interjects, “My apologies, ma’am! She’s a bit, uh, excited. Your table is right this way.” The host begins walking, and your feet move on autopilot, “Would you like a menu?” 
“No. I’m good, thanks.” You won’t be able to keep anything down anyway. 
You move through bustling walkways, ears filled with bouts of obnoxious laughter and corny jokes with each table you pass. 
Your heart stutters in your chest when you see the isolated leather and rosewood booth where Amaya sits, her back to you. There’s two glasses and a bottle of… something on the table. 
“Ms. Robinson! Your guest is here!” 
Amaya, filled glass in hand, cranes her neck and meets your flitting gaze. Her eyes are stagnant, unmoving, and your nerves wrack. She looks fucking immaculate with the slit in her black dress, smokey makeup, heeled
shoes. She’s dressed down for a fucking funeral. Yours. 
You’re actually not ready to see her. You’re not ready at all. 
-
-
“You want a glass?” 
Amaya’s tone is cold. Colder than the dripping neck of the bottle right in front of you. “N-No thank you.” 
She scoffs laughter around the rim, “Shocking.” You scramble for a reply, anything to say to the woman oozing impatience in front of you. 
“I’m sorry.” You whisper. She sets her glass down with an unsteady clink. 
“You said that already.” She states, brown eyes sharp. “Why are you?” 
You scratch at your ear, trying to mask the tremors in your fingertips, “Because… I — I wasn’t…” 
“I don’t hear from you for months,” She spits, “And then I get a phone call from my drunk best friend screamin’ at me, tellin’ me that I fucking left her to grieve by herself… because I’m selfish and money hungry… Right?”
Angry tears sizzle in Amaya’s eyes as she continues, “And I still come and visit you… only to get a door slammed in my fuckin’ face.” 
You’re completely frozen; You can barely look her in the eye. Your hands are clenched together under the table, nausea creeping up your throat. “I… there’s no excuse for what I did— “
Amaya’s eyes are void, “Why did you do it.” 
“I don’t know how to explain it,” you rush out, desperate. You’re losing her, “He — I was just — I couldn’t control myself and I screamed and yelled and blamed everyone for what happened. I was just so mad and I couldn’t stop— “
“Abby called me two days ago.” 
You gasp, “S-She did—?” 
“She told me she hated you.” Amaya says plainly. The remaining shards of your heart dissipate like dust, leaving your mouth when you whimper, “O-Okay.” Tears stream down your cheeks and neck, harsh sniffles filling the small corner of the restaurant. “She hasn’t, um… never mind.” That’s why she hasn’t reached out, you suppose. Well deserved. 
“I don't… hate you, you know that, right?” 
You sob, palms in your eyes, “S’okay if you do. I deserve it.” 
She shrugs, “I don’t. I’m just very disappointed in you.” You nod in agreement, in understanding. You accept that this is probably the last time you’ll ever see someone you considered a sister. 
“I’m so sorry, May— “
“M’gonna head out. I’m,” She wipes a tear and grabs her bag, throwing a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “I… I don’t hate you.” You cry as you watch Amaya gather herself, stand, and leave without another word. You heave and attempt to dry your face with the fresh napkin but they won’t stop flowing. 
It’s difficult, accepting that you’re undeserving. That you’ve dug yourself into a hole that you can’t escape. It’s dark and cold and you’re desperate for comfort but it never comes because you chased it all away. You eye the tall bottle that sweats; Very tempting, but you leave it where it stands. The blame for your downfall is yours to take; The only reward you can receive now is from your upkeep. To dig yourself out from beneath the maggot-infested dirt. To resurface and recover what you can. 
You’re unsure how long you sit here crying. Devastation sets hard in your tummy when you stand to leave the restaurant, ignoring the judgmental stares from the annoying, old fuckers that wouldn’t stop glaring at you. 
The air outside is fresh and soothing as you walk, right past your parked car. Past the young people mingling and taking pictures. Past the girl doing graffiti on the old building across the street. Something beats in your chest when you eye her spray paint cans, brushes in her hand, the bright colors all over her bare arms. Her passion is evident, even from a distance, and you miss that. That feeling that takes over when you create something that no one else can replicate. Her style is unique to her just like yours is to you. 
Color sparks in your soul for the first time in a year, and you know what you have to do tomorrow morning. 
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taggiesss yasss n slayyyy @dyk3ang3l @ellieloml @inf3ct3dd @fromminaa @womenofarcane @sawaagyapong @mina-281 @aouiaa @bbglmfao @i00rii @sakiigami @starologist @southelroys @diddiqueen @trackinglessons @ellieswhorcrux @villainousbear @p4ison1vy @tohoko @yuckyfucky @dollyfleurs @elsbunny222 @sevsbimbo @amiorca @alittlextrahoney @gato-chino @topiatwin @r3wbeef @elliesatchel @muthafuckingstargirl
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paleprincessturtle · 7 months
Text
Ruined Plan
I'm back again! Happy reading and please excuse any inaccuracies in my writing.
Pairing: Harvey Specter x Female Reader 
Donna stared at her screen in disbelief and gasped. She closed her eyes and looked at the screen one more time and looked behind her, at her boss’ office. She printed the document on her computer and invited herself into Harvey’s office. She waited in front of Harvey’s desk while he was on the phone. Not long after Harvey hung up the phone and he raised his eyebrows at Donna. “Are you going to say something or are you just gonna stand there looking like fish out of water?” Harvey said as he jolted down something on a document in front of him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Donna asked him in disbelief. “Tell you that I’m the best closer this town has ever seen? I think the world knows, Donna.” Harvey smirked and looked back down at the document. “If it’s a guessing game, we have to pen it down for another day. As you know, this case has been going on for far too long.” Donna didn't say a thing but instead slid the document she printed just minutes ago. Harvey peeked at the document and asked “Why are you looking through my bank statement?”
Donna rolled her eyes so hard, for a second she was scared it won’t get back. “To make your usual monthly financial report, Harvey. What else?” Harvey waved the page absentmindedly in the air. “And what am I supposed to do with this?” Donna leaned on his desk and pointed to a specific date. “Cartier? That much? On a lunch break?” Donna asked as she straightened herself. “You’re proposing,” Donna said matter of factly. Harvey grinned so wide that it scared Donna. “The thought was just so sudden and I thought why not.” Harvey shrugged. “And why didn’t you ask for my help to pick out the perfect ring?” Donna paced in front of his desk, looking like the world was about to collapse. Again, Harvey just shrugged. “The ring must be here. Show me the ring.” Harvey squinted his eyes at her. “Harvey, I swear to God if you choose not to show me the ring, I’ll turn your office upside down and nothing will stop me.” Harvey put his hands up in defense and retrieved a key inside a little compartment underneath one of his basketball cases and opened a middle drawer in his desk. He carefully took the box and handed it to Donna. With the same care, Donna took the box in her hand. “Let’s see if we can return this ring if it turns out to lo…” Donna said seriously and stopped herself once she opened the box fully. “Well?” Harvey stood up with his hands in his pockets and smirked.
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Donna nodded and grinned “Wow, you’ve outdone yourself. This looks beautiful, simple yet elegant. And jeez, Harvey. Are you trying to blind anyone who looks her way?” Harvey’s smirks grew significantly bigger. “Kinda need to show everyone she’s off the market.” He said proudly and Donna burst into a huge fit of laughter at the prospect of seeing Harvey finally getting married and most importantly, happy. “I know this case is important and you’re swamped. But let’s take 30 minutes to plan the actual proposal. This is a very important matter, Harvey." Donna sat at the chair in front of Harvey’s desk and moved his laptop to face her. 
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The sound of his own phone startled Harvey. He doesn’t remember when was the last time he looked up from piles upon piles of documents on his desk. He cracked his neck before he moved the documents around to find his phone. Harvey instantly smiled. “If it isn’t the most gorgeous girlfriend a man could ever ask for.” Harvey leaned back in her leather chair as he was immersed in the sound of laughter from the other side of the line. “Flattery won’t bring you anywhere, Mr. Specter.” Harvey smiled “But I’m known for my flattery and charm.” Harvey paused, “Is everything okay?” he suddenly worried as to why she called and it was not even 10 am. “All is well, Commander. Just asking if you could pencil me down for a lunch picnic today?” His heart heaved suddenly, Heaven knows how much he wanted to go and how hard it is to say no to her. But at least she wasn't here to show him the pout. “Oh baby, as much as I love the idea, I’m seriously swamped.” Harvey heard a big sigh and the sound of the fridge door closed. “Still?” he heard her pout. Damn it, Harvey thought. He thought not being with her and not seeing the pout will help. But now, he heard her pout. Great. “Unfortunately, still. I’ll make it up to you. Okay?” Harvey tried to reason with her as he thought of the getaway Donna and him planned earlier and smiled. “No worries, baby. Good luck with your case, okay? Don’t forget to ask Donna to bring you something for lunch. Don’t forget to eat lunch or I’ll send the SWAT team down there to shove a hotdog down your throat.” Harvey laughed heartily at her threat. “I won’t. Gotta go, the DA office called. I love you.” Harvey heard a cheerful I love you as he hung up.
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Donna entered Harvey’s office exactly at 1.30 pm. “Your 1.30 appointment is here.” Harvey looked up, bewildered. “What appointment? I told you to clear up my schedule today. I’m busy.” Before Harvey saw her, he already smelled the mixture of vanilla and rose. “Even for me?” she said sweetly as Donna left the room and closed the door behind her. Harvey stood up immediately and walked up to her. “You’re too busy now for me, Mr. Naming Partner?” she smirked as Harvey enveloped her in his embrace. “Don’t worry, I won’t be long. I called Donna and she told me you refused lunch. So I took matters into my own hands and made you lasagna. I’ll only drop this.” she gestured to a lunch bag that he realized just now. “I thought you'd send a SWAT team? You’re damn pretty for I thought would be 10 bulky men.” Harvey said as he gently squeezed her ass and smirked before delicately pecking her lips. “Harvey!” she slapped her hand across his chest. “No fraternizing in the office!” she scolded, face all serious. “You won’t work here until at least another month. You’re here as my girlfriend. And maybe we could make use of the copy room? Or hmm, the file room?” She laughed though he earned another slap across his chest. “I thought you were busy? Come on, eat your lunch.” She separated herself from Harvey’s arms and he involuntarily frowned at the absence of her in his arms. She opened the lunch bag and laid down the food containers on another side of his larger desk for him to eat. “Come, Harvey. You should eat.” she frowned and she called for Harvey. He sat down and now he felt hungry. Between the sight and the smell of this lasagna, he realized that he has been working on an empty stomach. “That ain’t so hard, right?” Harvey nodded, mouth full of food. “Are these the files you've been going through since last night?” she gestured to the ones on the table and a few boxes near his desk. Again, Harvey nodded. “Won’t you eat with me?” He opened the lunch bag to find another lasagna for her. “Meh, I’ve had lunch at home. Thought I will just drop your lunch,” she said as she squatted beside one of the boxes. “I’ll take half of these files. You finished your lunch first.” She took a few boxes with her and brought them to his sofa. “Babe, you don’t have to. You’re not even working here yet, the merger isn’t yet effective. Go out and have a spa day or something. Thank you, but I have it handled.” Harvey said after he gulped a big amount of water. “I won’t have it, Harvey. I’m free to help and I won’t go. Well unless you call the SWAT team." They smirked at each other as she flopped down the sofa and started with the box on the very top. Harvey stared at her as he chowed down the last bit of his lunch. How come he scored such a beauty? She leaned her back, documents opened in front of her, as she pouted while fully concentrating on the task at hand. She folded both legs, hitched her summer dress, and revealed her smooth thighs. What a pretty sight, he thought to himself. Since 3 days ago Mike got sick, this is the first day he felt happy by the news. He looked down at his lunch and something occurred to him so suddenly. He just realized how devoted she is to him. Her bringing him lunch now wasn’t the first time. She’s taking good care of him. They had been together for a tad more than a year now since she was working with her previous firm, been living together for over 7 months now Even when she was busy working, he always got home to dinner. Sometimes even home-cooked lunches brought by herself to his office. The warm baths she always knew he needed without him saying anything. How she knew what to pour him. White, red, whiskey, or bourbon. How all his friends love her. Adore her even. That never really happened with his previous partners.
He had to make her his now. Scratch that, he needed to make her his now. He moved carefully to his desk, as carefully as he could without disturbing her. He took the key and opened the drawer. He checked the box and sighed in relief as he saw the ring still in place.  He sat up straight and fixed his tie before walking up to her. She didn't even bother to look up, thought he must've needed something from one of the boxes she took. It then caught her attention when she saw him standing on one knee. “Harvey?” she looked at him quizzically. He pulled out the red box from his suit jacket and she gasped. She put her legs down, both hands covered her mouth as he opened the box. Exposing the ring. “This is not how I, actually me and Donna, planned it. We were supposed to be in Boboli Garden when I asked you this question. But I can’t wait that long. You are my life and I never loved anyone as much as I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Marry me.” Harvey looked at her sincerely and his eyes glistened. “Yes” her voice was just above a whisper. “Yes yes yes! An infinite amount of yes!!” She shrieked. Harvey smiled widely as he slid the ring down her slender finger. She put up her hand and admired the ring “Goodness, this is beautiful.” Harvey wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her up with him before spinning her around. Harvey stopped, her feet still hadn't touched the ground. Their foreheads touched as they grinned at each other. “I love you so much” she whispered as she closed their distance. “Not even in a proposal will Harvey Specter ask” Both of them laugh, as they kiss again. They separated in shock as Donna swung open the door so hard. She inspected the sight before her and screamed “HARVEY HOW COULD YOU PROPOSE TO HER IN YOUR OWN OFFICE?!?! WE'VE MADE A PLAN!”
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Author's note: Feel free to send me some story ideas. Thanks!
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roanniom · 2 years
Note
omg virgin!eddie you say?!? i am obsessed with that idea! him needed guidance and reassurance? yes please. he doesn’t really know what to do, and maybe a little nervous? but he wants to make you feel good 😭
Overthinking
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Virgin!Eddie Munson x Fem!reader
I could imagine a world where virgin!Eddie Munson gets a little self conscious and he tries to put off actually having sex because he know’s he’ll blow his load in like 0.002 seconds so when your hands creep down to his bulge while you two make out, he pulls away with a theatrical hum.
“Ummm let’s take care of you first,” he practically singsongs, pushing you down with your back on the mattress. You look up at him, confused, as he crawls backward to settle between your open thighs. He starts petting at the apex of your legs and you quirk an eyebrow.
“Oh, so you have done things other than sex?” You knew he was a virgin, he’d blurted it out the other night when you were giving him a particularly lascivious kiss good bye. You’d found the confession sweet and promised to help change that if he wanted. And oh had he wanted.
Which is why you’re on his bed, alone in his trailer, in nothing but a small pair of shorts and a soft tank top. But his reluctance to let you touch him is surprising. When you question him, he shakes his head sheepishly.
“Yeah…no. I haven’t done any of it before.”
You sit up and rest your elbows on your knees, smiling.
“So then what was the plan? Going to rub my pussy? Eat me out?”
You’re thoroughly pleased as a red flush spreads from his neck to his cheeks and his ears. He looks nervous but he puffs out his chest and digs his fingers into your thighs.
“Well I was going to try, if you’re amenable.” It comes out more question than statement and a cute, rueful smile quirks his lips. You laugh.
“Why won’t you just let me take the lead here? Make you feel good,” you coo, leaning forward to run your fingers through his hair. His eyes flutter shut as you scratch pleasantly at his scalp but then he shakes his head.
“Because I’d very much like to make you feel good.”
“You do make me feel good,” you reassure him, peeling one of his hands off your thigh and pulling it to cup your cheek. His eyes melt into something warm and soft as he caresses at the hollow under your eye. It’s just enough of a distraction for you to catch him off guard, pushing him onto his own back and moving up to straddle his hips. He grunts, eyes wide at your sudden force.
“But do you know what would make me feel better?” you ask, just a whisper in his ear. You’ve leaned down to press your chest to his, kissing at his earlobe as you speak. You pull back enough to see his reaction, though, and you’re glad you down miss his rough swallow.
“W-what?”
“The chance to make you, Eddie Munson, feel oh so good.” You swirl designs onto his chest with the tip of your pointer finger as you speak. Eddie practically pouts as you maintain eye contact with him.
“Well I…” he exhales sharply when you slide a hand between your bodies and ghost over the outline of his cock in his sweatpants. His eyes flutter shut for a second before he’s glancing back at you, anxiety furrowing his brows. “I’m going cum so fucking quick if you keep touching me like that, Princess.”
“And what makes you think that isn’t my goal?” You bite your tongue cheekily.
“You’re a nymph. A v-vixen.” He’s gasping at this point as you mouth at his neck, your hand moving in earnest on his hard, clothed dick. It twitches in your hand and he throws an arm over his eyes with a groan.
“And you’re cute,” you say with humor. Your hand slides past the elastic waist of his sweatpants and into his boxers, coming into contact with his warm skin.
“Oh fuck…” Eddie whispers. He peaks at you from under his arm and you’re smiling at him. You’ve scooted back to straddle his thighs now, pulling his cock out to wrap your hand around the length.
“So I’m the first to touch this pretty cock other than you, pretty boy?” You ask and his entire body shivers.
“Yeah,” he says with a nod. Then, gathering his bravery. “You think it’s pretty?”
“Mmhmm. The prettiest cock I’ve ever seen,” you hum, beginning to stroke him languidly up and down. Squeezing and twisting your wrist each time you get up to the weeping tip.
“And you’re not just fucking saying that?” he goads you with smirk. Without breaking eye contact you lean down and lick a fat stripe up the length of his dick from root to tip. Eddie practically convulses beneath you.
“I’m not just saying that,” you confirm. Your fist begins moving faster up and down his cock and Eddie pants openly now.
“This d-doesn’t - fuck! You know this doesn’t count, r-right,” Eddie struggles to get out. You’re distracted, all your attention on his purpling, dripping length. You’ve never played with such a responsive cock before and you’re already losing yourself in the thought of how it would feel inside you.
“What doesn’t count?”
“This isn’t sex,” he blurts out. Sweat beads at his hairline and you can tell that every muscle in his body is clenched.
“Oh I’m sorry, is there something you’d rather he fucking other than my hand?” you reply teasingly. “What, not having fun?”
“Well ‘fun’ isn’t usually the word I’d use to describe earth shattering pleasure-gah!” Eddie cuts himself off with a gasp as you lean over him again and start nipping at his neck, all while your hand keeps pumping away. His hips are bucking into your grasp and you can tell by the way that his abdomen is tensed that he’s probably getting close.
“What can I do to make you stop overthinking this?” You whisper in his ear. His voice is surprisingly soft when he responds.
“I’d…I’d rather be touching you.”
You pull back to look at him and he looks so desperate beneath you, your heart almost aches.
“This work?” you ask, gripping his wrist and bringing his hand to rest on your left breast. His eyes almost roll all the way back in his head.
“Jesus H Christ, you aren’t real.”
“Well I can guarantee you these aren’t fake,” you say with a chuckle. He barks out a laugh along with you but it ends on a pained moan. He’s bucking up into you consistent now, needing and squeezing your breasts, moving frenetically from one to the other as if he won’t have enough time to savor both.
“No, they’re perfect,” he breathes, and you can’t help but smile down at him.
“Hey Eddie, you know the best part of you being so desperate?”
“Um that’s kinda rude but what?”
“After I make you cum, you’ll probably get hard again in no time. So I won’t have to wait very long before I can find out what this pretty cock feels like inside of me.”
And he’s cumming all over you only seconds later, much to your amusement.
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noomon · 10 months
Text
ding!
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. . . itoshi rin. the unread letters, from me to you.
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there’s a heavy weight that blossomed on rin’s chest as he began to clear out your belongings that you never bothered to get from his apartment when you two broke up two months ago. it didn’t feel right, knowing that some of these objects contained memories that he held close to his heart.
he sighs. he has to get this done by sundown.
he starts with the countless picture frames, each of the pictures present carried a memory that unknowingly pained him to even think of forgetting.
“rin! come on, let’s take a picture. the background is so us,” you say, taking out your phone. a childish smile evident on your face as you made a few poses in front of your camera to find that perfect angle.
rin rose a brow at your statement, his lips pursed. “we’re in front of two ducks fighting for the last bit of food?” he questions. his bluntness soon curved, and instead, a seemingly entertained tone arises. “really?”
“mhm! so us, duh!”
the fond memories of you two brought back both that light and loving feeling along with that sense of dreadful emptiness. it feels so wrong to put these frames in a box to be discarded in some way.
he’s thinking of burning them or shredding them with a paper shredder or some sort, but a part of him wishes to keep them. but no, he must move on with his life, and in order to do that, he must not cling to any memories of you—as much as that went against what his heart was yearning for.
his brain had won this one.
as he put away the remaining frames, one caught his attention. this one had the back of it a bit loose, and the cover was about to fall off. he carefully observed the back, and he noticed that something was in it along with the picture that was displayed at the front.
a letter?
rin’s hesitant, but he takes it anyway.
his hands are shaking. why was he shaking? he did not know, nor did he spend too much time acknowledging his trembling hands as he read who the letter was addressed to.
to itoshi rin.
with a deep breath to ease his rising nerves, he opens the letter with utmost care. as if the paper would shred to pieces just like that if he weren’t careful enough.
a faint chuckle left his lips as he continued to read it.
hi, rin! i wrote this letter for our one year anniversary as a couple, and i wish for you to find it in the event that we ever split up in the future. not that i think we’ll ever do because you’re so helplessly in love with me; you’d rather not do that, yeah?
ok, ok! happy one year anniversary, the love of my life, my honey pie, my sugarplum, my tall nonchalant lover that fits into the category of mysteriously blunt love interest who’s a secret softie! let’s reach a thousand anniversaries together, m’kay?
rin frowns at the last sentence. “i guess we didn’t reach a thousand anniversaries together. six would never hold up to the number you were expecting; it could never.”
i’m writing this since the world is filled with uncertainties. there is no certainty in this world, but the only certainty we may get is that the world is indeed always changing at its own pace. no matter how we may argue in the future, please know that, from the bottom of my heart, i still love you!
if we were to bring up the thought of splitting up in the future, please put yourself first. no matter how much i beg you to stay, if you’re unhappy, then you’re unhappy. the same goes for me as well! we may try to fix things, and i’ll do my very best to always understand you because you’re just as understanding toward me. ♡
but they say that there will be a time when you’ll have to end things for the two parties to both flourish and bloom! and if that ever happens, just know that i did love you. and i wish i may, i wish i might, that we’ll find ourselves together once more! maybe in another universe, or so.
well, that’s all! my hands hurt from writing this, but i just wanted to let you know. i love you, itoshi rin! ♡
he notices droplets of his tears soak the paper, and rin is quick to realize that he was crying. he sets the paper aside, and a quiet sob comes from him as he wipes his tears away with his hands.
“i love you too,” he unknowingly says in between sobs. not that you’d ever hear it.
maybe in another universe, indeed.
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noomon © 2023. do not copy, modify, or translate my work.
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midnightsnyx · 4 months
Text
girl at home | mat barzal | part 5
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pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.
warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited word count: 2.3k authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3 send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?
if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3
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You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you. 
“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.
It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same. 
Apparently someone didn’t get the memo. 
You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down. 
“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater. 
She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong. 
“Who told you Mat was your daddy?” 
She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.
“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.” 
She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes. 
She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”
Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time. 
“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
I’m sorry I kept you a secret.
“How come everyone is saying he’s not?” 
Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.
“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.
“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?” 
“I’m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry. 
. . .
Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!
You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease. 
So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go. 
“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s. 
You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”
“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered. 
“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes. 
“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns. 
“How come?”
You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning. 
“Just no, Nora.”
“But Zoe does!”
You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of. 
“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response. 
“Do I have to call him dad?” 
“No.”
“Why?”
“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.
“Do you want to call him dad?” 
She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head. 
“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.” 
“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”
“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around. 
“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you. 
“Can I help with anything?” 
“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”
You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl. 
Not that you care, obviously. 
Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly. 
“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards. 
Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.
“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.  
Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you. 
When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem. 
Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned. 
“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.
“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”
He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.” 
“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.” 
You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.
“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!” 
You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.
“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.” 
He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger. 
“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”
You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now. 
“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”
His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”
You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.
“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”
He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face. 
“Does she know?”
“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”
“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.
You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”
He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.
“I fucked up, didn’t I?”
Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating. 
So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him. 
“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”
He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”  
You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.
“Together,” you agree.
tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @alilstressyandlotdepressy @teapartydreams @keiva1000
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moremaybank · 8 months
Text
THIS LOVE — j.m
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pairing actor!jj maybank x actress!reader
chapter summary jj faces the possibility of his scandal going public. then, he ends up reconnecting with you after five years. what happens when the two of you end up as costars for your upcoming romantic comedy?
warnings mentions of a sex tape, mentions of domestic abuse (jj and luke), language, violence, sexual content/eventual smut, anxiety. ex best friends to lovers, fake dating. this will be updated as the story develops. [2.2k]
author's note just a little post of the first chapter to build the hype! hope you enjoy and decide to continue reading ♡︎ also special s/o to @mvybanks and @jjsbank444 for beta reading and quelling my nerves &lt;3
recommended listening second chances by kiana ledé ft. 6lack
this love — the complete playlist ;; the masterlist ;; the tag list
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❝ CHAPTER ONE ❞
JJ
Threesomes are fun. Foursomes, however, are a blast. 
At least, JJ Maybank seems to think so. 
“You have three different women threatening to release your sex tape. It’s not a good look for you, JJ.”
Well, he does when they don’t include a secretly-filmed sex tape and three fame-thirsty girls trying to ruin his career for a quick cash grab. 
“It’s not like they’re three separate tapes. We were all together when it was made,” JJ smirks. 
Josh, his manager, lets out an exasperated sigh. “That doesn’t make things any better, and it does nothing to help our circumstances. You need to clean up your act and you need to start doing it now, Maybank, or you’re going to lose everything.”
JJ rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time in the fifteen minutes that this meeting has been going on. It’s bullshit, really. He’s one of the hottest actors in Hollywood right now. He’s youthful, dashingly handsome, and loaded. The world is his freakin’ oyster, and he deserves to have some fun.
“You’re supposed to keep up your whole approachable, goofy, boy-next-door image intact, and having a ménage à…quatre, is not the way to do it.” my publicist, Andrea, chimes in. “If you aren’t careful, you’re going to lose your entire fanbase. You’re one of the most universally-liked celebrities in the business, right now. If this gets out, you’re going to have to kiss your crystal clear reputation goodbye.”
“So, let’s just pay ‘em the hush money. What do I care?” JJ says, taking his cap off and running a hand through his unruly strands.
“And you’re fine with forking over ten million dollars? Just like that?” Andrea scowls. “What if they take the money and still decide to release the tape? Or demand more?”
“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, Andrea. Now, are we done here? I’m supposed to meet my co-star for my new movie in an hour and I’d really like to get in another — how did you put it? Ah, yes. Ménage á quatre — before I go.”
Josh runs a hand over his face, “Do you care about anything anymore?” 
JJ ignores his statement, putting his hat back on and sitting up in his chair. “Can I leave?”
He can tell that Josh wants to scold him or make some witty remark in return, but he bites his tongue. 
“Go. And, please, for the love of all things holy, do not screw this up.” 
If JJ had a penny for every time he’s heard that, he’d be richer than Jeff fucking Bezos.
-
Y/N
“And last but not least, this is your dressing room. You’ll have your own trailer, but this is more for when we’re actually on set and in between takes.”
You grin as you look around the luxurious room. There’s a huge vanity in front of you, as well as some plush couches, and you don’t fail to notice the large mini-fridge in the corner of the room or the flat-screen TV plastered onto the wall. There’s a window as well, letting in the California sunshine you’ve come to love and appreciate beyond your beliefs.
“Wow, this is…amazing. I can’t thank you guys enough for this opportunity. I’m so grateful, I hope you know that.”
“Don’t be silly, Y/N. You’re the very reason we wanted to do this project in the first place. If anything, we’re the lucky ones,” Derek, the director states with a grin. “So, you ready to meet your co-star, or what?”
“Yeah! I mean, I’m nervous, but, beyond excited.”
Derek leads you back into the hallway, and you make your way to one of the offices. 
“I think you’ll love him. Word is, he comes from the Outer Banks just like you. Who knows, you’ve probably met him in passing.”
Wait…what? He’s from OBX? No. No way. He couldn’t possibly mean—
“Y/N Y/L/N, meet the esteemed JJ Maybank,” Derek states, his proud smile growing sizeably larger than you thought possible. 
It doesn’t matter how excited he is, though. All you can focus on is your heart beating out of your chest and the ringing in your ears. You see Derek’s lips moving but you can’t hear a thing. Your eyes are caught on the blonde in front of you, and all you can think about is how painful it is to look into those oceanic eyes after five years.
It’s equally as painful as it was the last time you saw him. If not, more.
“Uh— Y/N, I…it’s— it’s been a while,” JJ stutters out. 
It’s all too much. Seeing him here, in front of you. His eyes locked on yours, his hand reaching out to touch you but retracting once he notices the fear in your gaze. Your eyes flit over to Derek, whose face has a more than confused look painted over his features. 
“Excuse me, Derek, I— I need to get out of here.” 
You speed into the restroom, locking the door behind you and setting your hands on the counter. Your chest tightens, and your breathing speeds up. She shudders, trying to shake it out as the room starts to feel like it’s closing in on you.
“You’re okay. You’re okay. You can do this. Don’t let him get to you,” you say, staring at yourself in the mirror. “It’s just…it’s just JJ.”
You feel the tears start to well in your eyes and you watch as they overtake their boundaries and roll down your flushed cheeks. You’re quick to wipe them away, though, refusing to admit defeat. 
“Stop,” you tell yourself. “It’s been five years. You’re better than this.”
You aren’t sure if the words are true to your heart, because all you can think about is how the boy you loved from the ages seven to eighteen — the one who betrayed you and shattered you into a million pieces — is now your co-star for the romantic comedy you’ve just been cast in.
What could possibly go wrong?
A lot, you think. A lot could go wrong. 
JJ
JJ watches as you make your way back into Derek’s office, shooting him a convincing smile.
“My apologies, Derek. Girl troubles,” you say. 
JJ still knows you well enough to see that you’re hoping Derek will believe your bullshit excuse. 
“Oh, uh, no worries at all, Y/N. I completely understand. I’ve got three daughters at home,” he speaks, trying to assure you that everything is fine. He places this hand on JJ’s shoulder, squeezing slightly. “JJ, here, was just telling me how the two of you have known each other since you were in elementary school. It must be quite the hell of a reunion, huh?”
You plaster a fake grin onto your lips, “One hell of a reunion, indeed.”
JJ refuses to look at you, his ex-best friend, and vice-versa. Truthfully, he’s terrified to catch your eye again. He’s not sure if he’ll be able to form a coherent sentence if he does. 
“Well, I’ve got some stuff to take care of, so I’ll leave you two to catch up.”
Derek exits his office, and you and JJ are left in complete and utter silence.
God, JJ missed you so much. He’d seen you making headlines just as you always said you would, but he was always quick to click away, deciding not to dwell on everything he’d lost. But this, now, seeing you right in front of him as gorgeous as ever…it made the walls he’d worked so hard to put up begin to crack. 
Then again, you’d always had that effect on him. 
Even after all these years, he was still a complete wreck over you. You held his heart in the palm of your hand and he wasn’t even sure if you knew it.
Your scent was still etched into his mind, still buzzing deep within his senses and his memory. You smelled of the saltwater beaches of the Outer Banks. The notes of coconut from the shampoo he’d recognized still lingering in the tresses of your hair. The sweet hints of vanilla that clutched to your skin are prominent as ever. The combination sounds like a lot, and it was, but not in the overpowering way one would assume. They blended into one heavenly and unique fragrance. 
She smelled like her, he thought. She smelled like home. 
To be honest, JJ wasn’t sure whether or not this was a reminder he wanted to welcome with open arms, but either way, here it was. Here you were. After the way he’d hurt you and destroyed your relationship forever. 
After he lost himself. 
Funnily enough, you’d always had a way of popping up whenever he needed and longed for you. He never even had to speak a single word. You just always knew. And you might not have guessed it now, but he needed you more than he ever had before.
JJ scratches his brow with his index finger. “So, um…how have you been?” 
“Don’t. Just…don’t.”
“Y/N, please,” he pleads. He almost wants to get down on his knees and beg. You can’t even look at him, and that hurts more than he could ever put into words.
“No. I don’t wanna hear it. I’m fine with being professional while we film this movie, but I’m not getting into this with you. I’m not getting into any of it.”
JJ remains silent, choosing to nod because he’s not totally sure he can find his voice. 
As much as he hated to let the thought in, you were a walking reminder of every bad decision he’d made since he left the island and never looked back. He looked at you, and he saw two things. The first being the crinkling of your bright eyes when you smiled. The melodic laugh he could pull from your lips at a moment’s notice. Your hair blowing in the wind as you stuck your head out the window of John B’s Twinkie. And the second being the look of despise and pain on your face as you confronted him. The mascara-stained tears flowing down your heated cheeks. The way you walked away from him and deliberately chose not to look back and steal a second glance at him. 
How was he expected to act all suave and cool when you were right there in front of him, actively choosing not to even look in his direction?
Truth is, he doesn’t think he can. 
-
JJ glances at his phone once he leaves the production office still shaken by the day’s events. 
2 Missed FaceTime Calls from John B
JJ swipes to the right and watches as his phone rings, awaiting his best friend’s answer while he plops down on the steps in front of the building. The line rings for a few moments before he hears shuffling through the speaker, followed by John B’s face appearing on his screen.
“Hey, man. how was your meeting? Your new costar as hot as we imagined?”
JJ tears his eyes away from the camera, his lip sinking between his teeth. His complexion pales, and John B picks up on it. 
“Jeez. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Because I have,” JJ deadpans. He’s still reeling from your presence, and it shows.
“Huh?”
“It’s Y/N…my costar is Y/N.”
“Ooh, yikes,” John B responds. “Did she nut-punch you?”
“It’s not funny.” 
JJ tugs his cap off as he always does when he’s stressed, and his fingers card through his hair. He tugs lightly at the strands as he tries to alleviate the tension building up in his head. 
“She couldn’t even look at me, John B. Her eyes were on me for all of five seconds before she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. Then, when she came back, she looked at everything but me. She barely even let me speak to her.”
“Well, to be fair, you guys didn’t exactly leave things on the best of terms.”
“Yeah, JB. I know. Thanks for the reminder, as if I didn’t fucking know that already.”
“All right, look. Did you fuck up majorly? Yeah. But the love the two of you had…it ran deep. It doesn’t just disappear without a trace, especially if things are this heated after five years. I think you can get her to forgive you.” 
JJ scoffs, “Yeah? And how do you suppose I do that?”
John B gives him a knowing look through the screen. 
“You have to tell her the truth, JJ.”
“Funny.”
“J,” John B mildly scolds. “The reason she hates you right now is because you weren’t honest with her. The JJ she knew before that night never would’ve treated her the way you did. Buck up. Tell her.”
The call disconnects, and JJ is left staring at his screen with a tense jaw. He knew John B was right. He was always right. But how on earth was he expected to muster up the courage and tell you the truth about that night? He doubted — no. He knew it’d be impossible to convince you to hear him out. 
Then again, he also knew he had to try. Because he couldn’t stand to be around you nearly every single day for the next few months, knowing that you wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire.
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jj tag list: @pankowperfection @oncasette @taintedxkisses @maybankslover @goldenroutledge @penny4yourthoughts @bmo-bri @hemogloban @princessbetsy123-blog @slytherhoes @maybank-archives @whoisdrewstarkey @aliyahsomerhalder @dreamingwithrafe @vigilanteshitposting @poppet05 @adoreyouusugar @f4ll-for-you @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @tell-me-when-ur-ready @bbycowboi @jjmaybankisbae @enhypens-hoe @pankhoeforlife @cecesrings @wildflwrdarlin @loverofdrewstarkey @earth2starkey @angelofcigs @topper-thornton @em0-b0ysworld @koalalafications @aerangi @cantstoptherecs @bloody-mf-bsc @maybanksbabe @sarah5462 @slut4drudy @lvvrgrl @dancinglikeaballerina @somerandos-world @shahanaazsoumah @peachpitlover @pinkpantheris @julesmendoza890 @emmalandry @blueicequeen19 @madelynie
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xreaderbooks · 1 year
Text
All I breathe (2)
Pair: Azriel x Vanserra Reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: language, violence, mentions of abuse, trauma, and torture
Summary: Could a mission to Y/n’s childhood home, the Autumn Court, spark a friendship between the night courts spymaster and the newest emissary? Or will they let their hatred come between, what could be, a strong bond?
A/N: I made Nuan from ACOWAR heavily OC in this, I haven't read the books in so long so please forgive any reference mistakes. I haven't read ACOSF either so keep that in mind, I did try to do my research for storyline purposes when it comes to the first 4 books. I also do not know how to describe dresses very well lol. Send me a message or comment if you want to be tagged in future parts.
Also available on Wattpad and AO3
Masterlist - Previous Chapter - Next Chapter
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An Illyrian bastard! you could not stand him. He was a contemptuous brute as you knew most Illyrians were. Cassian and Rhysand were just fine, if only he turned out more like his brothers. Although the comment the former had made had you reeling. In no world do you see yourself sharing a bed with the Shadowsinger. What was worse was knowing the days to come were going to be filled with hours of what had just occurred. In the safety of your room, you had released the flames that begged for freedom, letting them kindle on your hands, careful not to get too close to the furniture.
The power you and your twin had shared assuming it had come from your mother's distant bloodline. Your mother was another factor that you had thought of constantly during your stay at this new court. While you dealt with your own struggles mentally, you and Lucien had a better life here in Velaris, you were free from all the males who once dominated your life. You couldn’t say the same for your poor mother. She was the one person you looked forward to seeing.
“He’s not right you know?” A smooth casual familiar voice echoed from behind you. Your power jolted, letting out a blast of controlled flames in your hands.
“I could have burned you, you idiot!” You shoved your brother away from you once you recovered from the shock.
“No, you really couldn’t have.” He chuckled. There Lucien stood a few feet behind you, he just left yesterday morning, there was no reason for him to be back so early.
“What are you doing here anyway?” You crossed your arms and shuffled closer to your bed, sitting on the edge.
“I heard Rhysand gave you a tough assignment, with an even tougher partner.”
“Do not call him my partner and he’s weaker than any of you give him credit for,” You snarked back.
Lucien put his hands up in surrender, “Relax I’m just here to ease the tension.”
“Like you ever,” You glared at him playfully.
“He has a way of making you tense so easily, Sister.” Lucien sits beside you on the edge of the end of your bed. “Despite your hatred for him, you need to place your trust in him fully while you’re there.”
“Why can’t you come with me?” You put on your best puppy dog-like pleading eyes, Lucien stopped falling for it once you both came to an age where life was not so easily bought by a sweet smile or those perfect doe eyes you were able to mimic.
“I would if I could, I have business elsewhere” He ruffled your hair pushing your head away lightly when you scowled at him. “Important business in the mortal realms of all places.”
“Oh please, you can feign annoyance all you want but you’ve found an interest there.”
“I don’t have much keeping me here anyway Y/n, better to keep busy.” A sad disposition had formed within him whenever he was near Elain, he couldn’t do more than he was already doing to make Elain comfortable around him.
The words stung, and suddenly the statement Azriel made didn’t seem so far off the truth. You knew you could make yourself useful enough to be of value but what did any of that mean when your own twin couldn’t find your company worthy. Obviously, he did have places to go and people to meet but you did too and if he ever needed you, you would drop everything to be there for him. The scar on your left cheek was a testament to that.
You sat there side-by-side for a couple of minutes, enjoying each other's company in silence. Lucien tapped your knee twice before declaring he walk you out before your journey. He wrapped a loose arm around your shoulders, “I will be here when you get back.” He squeezed you into his side.
Reaching the last step Azriel was there waiting for you, he gave Lucien a nod before looking away to give you and your brother privacy. You squeezed his middle, “You better.”
He gave you a kiss on your forehead, “Stay safe, sister.”
“Goodbye brother,” You whispered back to him before he disappeared into thin air. Cassian came out of the kitchen and nodded for you to come to him.
Once in the kitchen Cassian peeked out of the door and spoke in a hushed tone, “Listen, I know it’s gonna be hard but the only way this plan will work is if you both find a way to set aside your differences and learn how to communicate.”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair giving him an exasperated look, you thought he was going to give you some advice or something more useful than a lecture. “Unlike him, I believe I can be civilized. Besides we’re about to have plenty of bonding time.”
You caught him wince at the word bonding, “Let’s hope so.”
“Was that it?” You asked. Cassian hummed in response and with a finger flicked your head up by your chin.
“Remember Y/n, don’t hesitate. Hesitate and you're dead.” The same advice he gave you throughout training, a feat you had consistent trouble with; hesitation. You were decent, despite being out of shape with the lack of training and with what little you knew of combat. Illyrian training was different than what you were used to but it was better and you learned enough to be of use if you were needed. Maybe a little clumsy and lacked some confidence in your skills but in a life-or-death situation you expected your survival instincts would kick in.
He guided you to where Azriel was sitting on the couch, fiddling with his knife.
~~~
Winnowing to the dawn court went smoothly. You and Azriel winnowed separately, neither of you willing to touch each other, opting to travel alone rather than conserve energy to save time. The first big jump had you stopping for a break at the Day Court, you felt your power falter, the surge of fire from earlier draining you a little. The law of your power, where one of your powers is strong the others weaken.
You stopped by a lake for water, careful of your surroundings. A quick minute stop and when you had winnowed away to the point on the other side of the border where you knew to meet Azriel, he had given you an earful.
“Where were you?” His tone was nothing short of accusatory.
“I felt like I needed a short break so I stopped for some water,” You spoke casually so as not to alarm the always-on-edge spymaster. It took a toll on your patience but you needed him to be calm.
His eyes were narrow as he stared you down, “Where?”
“Near Day Court border Azriel, Where else?”
“Specifically where did you stop for water?” He pushed, “Shocking there were no sentries nearby.”
“I assure you whatever your mind conjured up about my whereabouts, is not true.”
“I just find it curious how you were not intercepted,” He crossed his arms and tilted his head “unless there is something that you’re not telling me.”
You were beginning to feel anxious by his interrogation, you didn’t have anything to hide but this felt familiar in the ways your brothers would question you after a night out or worse when you were on your little missions for them. Tamlin would do the same, jealous even though you knew he never truly loved you. Even when he had Feyre.
“I told you all there is to know,” You grit your teeth. “We’re wasting time on this useless topic when we would have been at Dawn already.”
“I don’t trust you.” He begins to walk in the direction of the border of the Dawn Court.
“Oh really?” Your voice is frivolous as you follow him, “I hadn’t gathered that. I can feel your shadows, they are not as obscure as you think they are. Even so, I have nothing to prove to you Shadowsinger.”
His jaw clenches, “You somehow have fooled everyone in my court that you are innocent but I will find a way to break you Firewielder.”
“And you will fail,” You stop walking when you step in front of him, blocking his way. “You think of me as some villain Azriel when I am just someone who is trying to get by in whatever way, whatever place I can. That is all I have been trying to do, all I have ever done. Gods, if your High Lady could forgive me, why can’t you?”
“You have caused my High Lady enough harm,” He says simply and starts to walk again but you block his path. “You do not deserve the forgiveness, Rhysand and Feyre have so graciously granted you.”
“I have paid for my sins just as I’m sure you have and will continue to do so, I do not need a constant reminder of my fuckups any more than you do.” Your words were like venom, you may not know all of what the Shadowsinger was made of but the whispers throughout the world of what he does to people, rumor or no- you knew would haunt him til the end of his days. “You are no better than I am Spymaster, you should do well to remember that next time you sink that knife into someone’s flesh.”
An astonished look featured on his chiseled face, you’d wager no one but his brothers dared to speak to him in such a way. You weren’t one to speak so flippantly, but Azriel brought out a side of you that you had to admit you reveled in. You hadn’t felt as strong as when you let all your anger out on him. Your brothers, your father, and Tamlin had made you cower into yourself so much so that you didn’t dare argue. Azriel lit a fire within you that fueled you to shed the weaker parts of your soul and fight back.
~~~
You were within the walls of the Dawn Court castle only minutes after your discussion with Azriel. Not a word was spoken after you said your peace, you stood next to each other with a generous amount of space between you as you waited for someone to attend to you at the front steps of the palace.
A friendly face appeared from behind the doors urging you both to come inside, the healer of the Dawn Court was a long-time friend of yours. You hadn’t seen or spoken to her in years yet her countenance was still the same. She hugged you in greeting and gave the Shadowsinger a nod.
“The High Lord is otherwise engaged unfortunately but he sends his regards and me of course,” Nuan clutched your arm that was already looped around hers. “I’ll be showing you to your rooms.”
“Thank you,” You smiled. Azriel repeated what you had said and followed close behind you. She guides you through a series of hallways with large pillars framing the view of the mountains.
“It’s not a problem, though I do ask that you join me for dinner tonight.” She pauses in front of a door, she’s still holding your arm so you assume this is Azriels room. “Both of you, it’ll be at that restaurant in town that we used to go to Y/n, you know the one.”
You nodded with pursed lips, “Yes, I do but I’m sure Azriel has other ideas on how he’d like to spend his night.” You tried to hint at her to leave him alone, you needed a break from him and his attitude.
“I’ll be there.” Was all Azriel said before bowing his head at her and closing himself in his room for the night.
Nuan raised her brows at you with a slightly agape mouth, dragging you through the long corridor lined with near-opalescent golden stone pillars. Once she had shown you your room a couple of doors down from Azriels, she shut the door behind her. “I had to give you this room so that I can talk to you without him hearing, Cauldron that male is astonishingly gorgeous.”
You snorted, “For a bat.”
She placed her hands on her hips, “Now I know damn well you have taste, Y/n and I know that you wholeheartedly agree with me.”
“I might have once upon a time, I’ve changed.” You smirked and strolled around the room, taking it all in. Your room had a balcony overlooking one of the many gardens, you would have chosen to stay at the Dawn Court if given the opportunity.
“Surely not because of the husband!” Nuan gasped. She reminded you of the one you were fake married to, Fae cannot lie but when one is desperate, the loopholes you find are wild.
You raised an eyebrow at her dramatics, “No, of course not.”
She walked toward you and reached out with her mechanical hand tracing the scar on your face, “Do you think he is that superficial? I have seen the scars on his hands Y/n, he is beautiful but not completely unmarred.”
“I forget how forward you are Nu,” You stepped out of her reach. “Have you heard the news of the faebane? It’s traveling all across the lands, the reason why we’re here.”
She nodded grimly, “Yes, I have heard but my information is limited. And you’re deflecting but that’s no matter, we shall continue that topic at dinner.”
“For an alchemist, you sure do like to gossip.” You teased, “You should seek out Azriel before dinner to discuss the faebane situation.”
“Why do you think I’m friends with an emissary? you make the most pleasant company for gossip.” She reached for the door handle and slipped out of the room.
~~~
You forgot how free-flowing Dawn Court fashion is, as you dressed you felt yourself grow self-conscious. The dress exposed your thighs, arms, and stomach with shibari-like knots around the torso and neck with layered sheer nude material covering. A huge difference from what you were wearing before. You reminded yourself of the fact that the fae of the Dawn Court were not judgmental people and they made dresses like this for all shapes and sizes and they saw every being as radiant. They were peaceful and kind and as you walked into the restaurant, you and Nuan had found one night, Azriel was sitting there in conversation with the dark-haired beauty.
Her dress was similar to yours, and her upturned eyes and olive-toned skin were complimented by the lavender color she was wearing. Azriel was talking intently, the loud chattering of everyone around you clouded your ability to hear what he was saying. Nuan was right, he was gorgeous. Beautiful in a way you could not compare to a male or female, he was otherwordly.
You scolded yourself mentally, as beautiful as he may be, his personality was not. His calculated, smooth-toned, encapsulating speech- your mind wandered again. You could not catch a break from him. Mentally or physically and you were sick of it. With a huff, you lifted the hem of your dress so that it would not catch onto your heel and strutted over to the table where Azriel was out of his chair and holding it out for you to take his place.
In the time you took to admire him from the entrance, you failed to see that they were sitting at a table for two. There was room for two more but you’d have to steal a chair from another table and he had given his chair to you. Your eyes flickered from the chair to him and hesitantly took a seat, he tucked you into the table, and you didn’t miss the way Nuan’s lips turned up on one side.
He pulled up a chair and sat. A Cheshire grin spread upon Nuan’s face, immediately nerves took over you.
“Now that we’re done exchanging information,” She nodded once to Azriel and directed her attention to you. “Y/n about that husband, how is he?”
Your jaw ticked, “I wouldn’t know, I don’t speak to him.”
She hummed, “Interesting. And your brother is he well?”
“Yes, he is, though I suspect you know that considering he visits you often.”
Her laugh came out in a bark, Azriel's eyes and shadows watched you two in a dance, silently observing your postures and hidden messages. He wouldn’t understand the game you and Nuan played, especially not the one Nuan was playing right now, you were beginning to lose track of yourself.
“So Tamlin is completely out of the picture now?” She went back to her original target. You coughed a little bit of the water you sipped a second before she asked. “No, Nuan.” You cursed. “I live in the night court now, everything's changed.”
“Just curious, Y/n/n-” She said lightheartedly. “Do you live there with him?” She glanced at the male sitting next to you. So this is what she wanted to know.
Azriels eyes widened, “Absolutely not!” You both exclaimed at the same time, creating looks coming from nearby tables.
“Apologies, really I thought you two were together, possibly in secret. I got a sense that you both were involved, please forgive me.” Nuan’s cheeks reddened as she stammered her apology.
You were entirely upset knowing that she was embarrassed by her display. You switch the topic as smoothly as you could, asking about how the faebane works and if there was any way she could create an antidote without knowing the exact ingredients in the newer version. She answered each question with ease, Azriel asked a few of his own and finished up the conversation they were having earlier about the theories on who could have made it. At that time your dinner was cleared, and the three of you lingered to pay for your meal.
“Excuse me, I believe I see a patient of mine who isn’t doing what he’s supposed to-” Nuan rushed out of her seat to an older-looking male.
You caught Azriels stare when you turned back into your chair. He looked pensive as he opened his mouth to speak, “How did you and Nuan…”
“Meet? Under the mountain.” You responded though you weren’t so sure why considering you still wanted to be petty for his interrogation. “She healed and made Lucien's eye, also helped me heal when I got the scar.”
A few moments of silence.
“I’d like to-” He cleared his throat “I’d like to apologize for earlier.”
Your eyes search his in suspicion, he continues. “I should have believed you. My shadows told me that you were speaking the truth and I didn’t believe you.”
“I have had enough overbearing males in my life dictating my life and questioning my every move without you being added to the list.”
“I’m trying Y/n,” He sighed clenching the table napkin.
“By telling me that your shadows tried to plead my case and even then you wouldn’t believe me?”
“When you put it that way.” He breathed out a laugh, the closest one you’ve ever heard from him that was meant for your ears. It was a small gesture, one that did not go unnoticed by you. Around you, he was always so tense.
“What is it then?” You inquire, “Do you hate me or could we call a truce?”
“As if you could hold your tongue for long enough for me not to hate you.”
You allowed yourself a small smile, “You are truly unrelenting, if this is how you are with me I wonder how are with the people you bring to your chamber.”
“You talk of my work with so much ease,” He grimaced. “You wouldn’t be able to actually stomach it.”
The humor that hung in the air was gone, you sensed a challenge. “I can’t do what you do but I am not afraid of you Shadowsinger.”
His hazel eyes beheld yours, exploring them, you weren’t sure what he was searching for but the intensity with which he stared unnerved you. “If you weren’t the sister of the male I despise the most and if you weren’t once married to the one who caused my lady so much grief, I could be inclined to like you.” His smooth low toned voice was hypnotic.
You reached for your glass of wine, the energy too much for you to take sober taking a sip before replying “If you weren’t such an insufferable bastard, I could be inclined to say the same.”
“I still don’t trust you,” Azriel said slyly.
You rolled your eyes, “Do you have mind healers in Velaris? Cause you desperately need one, you all do.”
That brought out a deep laugh from him, you looked at him in awe at the melody that came from his mouth and it was as if you were seeing him for the first time. Your stare fixed upon his smile, bright and angelic made your heart jump. He was suddenly aware of you and the wall he had when he was around you built up again.
Your mind felt the need to know if what he said earlier was true, “Is that really why you hate me?”
“You can’t just let a moment be, can you Firewielder?” He no longer carried that sharp grin that had you melting for a second.
“I am not my brother, Eris I mean, what he’s done. I have no part in it.”
He nodded slowly, “Now tell me why you hate me.”
You picked at your cuticle as you spoke- a nervous human habit that you picked up throughout your years. “I don’t. I don’t particularly like you but you have done nothing but make my life miserable since the moment you rescued us from the ice and every moment after that.”
You were being chased by your brothers along with Feyre and Lucien when Cassian and Azriel had come to Feyre's aid. That was when you had found out that Feyre was the High Lady of the Night Court when you and Lucien had been brought to Velaris and saw the city you’ve grown to love. It was the start of everything. Before and after the war.
You and Lucien were appointed as emissaries to the night court, Lucien had his assignments and you had yours. You served as both emissary and spy (occasionally), while Lucien had to send bi-weekly reports to Azriel, you had to report to him for every single assignment unless specified otherwise by the High Lord. This is the cause of the clash you had with the Spymaster.
That day was the only day you had peace from him, if only because nobody in the inner circle had warmed to your presence yet.
“My whole life I’ve heard of the monstrous fae who served the Night Court, the Court of Nightmares was real to me but I was never afraid of the stories- of you. All you did was prove that the stories were true, like the act you all put on when you go there, is real.”
“You should know that I do not find it easy to be around you Y/n.” You were about to ask him what he meant when Nuan’s figure came into view, pulling a lesser fae male along with her.
“Y/n I’d like you to meet Damian- Damian this is the friend I told you about.” Nuan shoved him your way as you stood, you stumbled into him and he steadied you by your elbows. “I took care of the bill by the way, I told Damian he should walk you to the palace. Azriel and I still have loads to discuss.”
You smiled shyly at the blond-haired guy in front of you and turned your head to where Azriel was once sitting, you were about to protest but Nuan was already dragging Azriel out the door. You appreciated your friend's efforts to set you up with the attractive male that was nothing short of a gentleman as he made easy conversation during the walk to the palace, but after dinner with Azriel, this guy wasn’t going to cut it. It would be too easy for you to bring him up to your room and spend the night with him but you were on a job and you were not going to give Azriel another to scold you. 
~~~
Next Chapter
Taglist: @americancowgirl19 - @feyres-fireheart - @brekkershadowsinger - @marina468
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buwheal · 3 months
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[You've Got Mail!]
You can now send your favorite salesman emails!! YAY!!
Here's some rules and information about the askbox.
First and foremost;
I try to answer as many asks as I can, but I will not answer every single one. Sometimes I just cant do anything with it that will work realistically with the perimeters of the world, and I apologize!! Its nothing against you guys!!
(Unless you break the rules ofc.)
So if you dont see yours after a long while, it’s probably something that wont work, sorry! You can always send more than one ask whenever and see if that one works instead!
Besides that, here’s the rest of what you need to know!
[RULES] :
Spamton physically PRINTS OUT each "email", so dont send asks that have a physical interaction. Sorry! Thats just how i decided to set up the world/situation, and is not really anything against you guys :-)
Preferably try to send real questions or statements. most joke asks are funny, yes, but are surprisingly hard to create an in character response for! You can still send joke asks if you really want to though, lol.
I know he may be a personification of spam emails... BUT DONT SPAM!!! I mean it! It clogs the askbox and is a real pain. You can send him more than one ask, though, as long as you arent repetitively sending a ton in a short burst!!
Dont be sexual or romantic, please! Even "As a joke". Its kind of weird, plus I can't really answer that in character. Thank you!!
Be respectful and patient!! I am just one person doing everything, lol, and this got far more popular than anticipated, so i will take a long time. I try my best to get at least one out every other day but i'll need breaks eventually.
I cannot spawn or give/spawn/materialize things for/to Spamton if you ask because of the way it’s set up. You are really just lines of text from a computer to Spamton, but if you’re careful and calculated with your words, you can get him to maybe slip up and say a few details or do things. He’s stubborn, but not immune.
[INFORMATION] :
Asks are put out one a day, regardless if i have more than one, UNLESS i need to connect two(+) to complete one event.
I am one person doing every ask and every unique frame of art, so expect 1 ask (If youre lucky, two) maybe every other day Monday-Friday depending on my workload per day. I have weekends off so more asks, around 2-3, CAN (but usually arent) be done.
This is just for fun!! I am using the askbox to excercise my drawing consistency, Spamton's personality, and the way he speaks and responds to different situations! This is a way I am using to improve my understanding of him as a character, so it wont be always consistent as I am growing and learning!
Just a little disclaimer, he WILL be mean. He is a sour, old, grumpy, bastard and I am absolutely not opposed to him responding as such. Just keep that in mind when sending an ask!
What you say to him DOES and WILL affect the way he responds. Trust is lost far easier than it is gained, so keep this in mind. It is possible to regain his trust, but still hard. He is not a trusting person to begin with and being mean certianly doesnt help.
Using tone tags, while not required, are really helpful and assist me in understanding the intention in your ask if you think it may be interpreted another way! (i.e. sarcasm) :-)!!
I pick and choose asks depending on his situation, or if i have a good idea for a response, so you may need to wait a bit before i can get to yours!! Ones that i have an idea for take priority, especially when its to progress a scene. Or, alternatively, i am saving your ask for something i have planned.
I WILL reuse frames and poses to get these out faster and for my convienence :-) especially for the frames where there is no need to change his pose!
Also, i prefer if you specify if the ask is for me /or/ Spamton. I do still do normal asks, lol. If its for me, just let me know!! I can usually tell, but most asks will be interpreted as for Spamton. I appreciate ones that start with his name before said thing is asked/stated specifically!!
I wont be consistent with the way its answered. Sometimes it's one panel, sometimes its a couple panels, or sometimes they're animated gifs!! It varies depending on what i feel, so if youre lucky you can get a gif, lol. Those take longer usually though.
Thats about it!! Have fun!! ^_^
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sencity · 9 months
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yandere!botanist x gn!darling, pt. one . . .
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˚₊ ꒰ nightmare fuel 𝄁︎ obsessive behavior, the calm before the storm.
˚₊ ꒰ word count 𝄁︎ 792.
˚₊ ꒰ key 𝄁︎ crossed out red texts indicate sencha’s thoughts. blue text indicate sencha’s messages. purple text indicate y/n's messages.
˚₊ ꒰ sen’s statement(s) 𝄁︎ you’re more than likely to find my oc’s information here along with the rest of them. sencha’s a rusted gem, so polish him up a bit before handling him for me, ‘kay?
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☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who is your next-door neighbor and a close friend sitting in his coniferous garden, plucking a bourbon rose while playing a silly little game of “she loves me, she loves me not” even though he’s received the “not” end a plethora of times. yet, he’s not letting up, believing that he needs to try different flowers causing her to sit in a pile of flower petal …
“they love me… they love me so not… they love me! i knew i just have to try harder to get them to understand…this is perfect! next step is buying them a ring one day!”
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who gives you different herbs for teas and restoratives daily in order to keep you healthy and nourished! because there’s no telling what pharmacists are putting in those lousy pills we call pain killers of yours. anything to keep you living for as long as…forever! …
“gingko can be used as antioxidants, but please don’t take too much, okay? actually, i’ll divide them into perfect amounts. i’ll make sure that you’re never ever sick, bee…”
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who studies plants and flowers to the point where he lacks so much sleep just to perfect bouquets for you. he’s up taking the time to tell you each and every individual meaning and fact behind each flower and why it reminds him of you. heliotropes to symbolize his eternal devotion towards you, amaranths to immortalize his love for you, and calla lilies to represent your magnificent beauty.
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who also plants your favorite fruits and vegetables, don’t wanna get poisoned ones from grocery stores, they could be contaminated and make you sick! (even though part of him wishes for it to happen so he has an excuse to take care of you).
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who tears up at the sight of your excitement when you planted a flower of your own in a garden he built just for you. the bud was emerging from the soil and seeing you geeking over the fact that your flower was actually growing made his heart swell up with pride and mental adulation. word on the street says if he ever feels gloomy, he thinks about that moment and falls asleep with the biggest smile on his face.
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who is easy to please. a pat on the head washes away his frantic mind. a kiss on the cheek causes him to short circuit and never wash away the area on his cheek you’ve kissed. a simple thank you and the slightest smile makes his stomach do backflips, stammering over his words before he simply just closed his mouth and nodded frantically, his body bursting with tingles that feels like butterflies in the breeze.
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who gets very slick-mouthed and petty when you invite someone over and you don’t have time for him. you would think you would get used to his mouth, let alone him getting used to you being around other people, and yet he still behaves in such a way, and somehow he gets more blunt …
“flower boy, where are your cups?”
“oh? they’re really lame did the person you chatted with not have any? how could they not find y/n the tallest glass in the world?”
“if they did, i wouldn’t have asked you.”
“they seemed to have pretty big cups, honey… ones that you couldn’t keep your eyes off o-”
“ALRIGHT.”
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who does/shows you everything for your validation and approval because without it he’s wilting in despair. he worked so hard on his flower pressed portrait and surprised you with it with the happiest (yet hopeful) smile. he, once again, leaped joyously when you beamed and praised him, giggling while hiding his face behind the painting, which caused only his blushed ears to be the star of the scene.
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! who has a personal notebook that pertains to you and questions he wants to ask you when he finally has the courage to. he writes in it especially when you’re around to remember and study all the things you tell about yourself; it just looks like he’s studying another flower, but instead coming up with more ways to please you and learn all about you.
☪︎︎ 𝔂andere botanist! whose heartbeat was the only thing he could hear when your first flower you planted was the one he gave to you as a welcoming to the neighborhood. a potted marigold which you gifted him blithely and nostalgically. you then burst into laughter when he began with the waterworks, awwing him when he embraced you so suddenly, your feet lifting from the ground during the process …
“y-you’re the absolute kindest! thank you so much, y/n… you’re really a godsend… no, i’m being sincere! they’re so clueless it’s so cute i mean… just look at you! i wouldn’t want anything else in the universe, not even life itself…not a single flower…”
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© all rights reserved 𝄁︎ sencity. plagiarism will not be tolerated on this blog but addressed and chastised accordingly.
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sxtvrns · 1 year
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publicly romantic
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🎶 now playing: in my heart (demo) - grentperez
P: Lee Felix x Fem!Reader
S: He fell first, and he fell hard. When you were on the big screen behind him, he knew he fell for you even more.
W: fluff, drabble because im in my kpop era now, no knowledge of skz at all, short
N: if im being honest guys the only reason i decided to write this was because i got inspired by those fan dance things during their world tour ive only ever listened to case 143 and i apologize if this makes me an outsider but i thought this was cute okay enjoy the content
please interact if you enjoy!
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When your boyfriend said he was going on a world tour, you did not think it was going to last for nearly an entire year. JYP better give them a break after this.
Dating Felix was a handful. He was always busy and his schedule was packed, you both were travelling constantly, having a home in Sydney and in Seoul. With the tour on his hands as well, it didn’t make it any easier. You saw all the edits of him flooding the internet, all of them reminding you of how much you missed your boyfriend.
So when you were told he was going to Australia, and you were conveniently going to be there at the same time as his concert, you had your fingers crossed you could get tickets. You didn’t care if you were in the pit or in the nosebleeds; you were happy to even be in the same room as him for a little while, even if you had to admire him from afar.
You texted him and called him as much as you could. Whenever your phone rang, you always assumed he was on a break or had free time, knowing that it probably meant the rest of the day was full of work. The amount of people that love him reminds you of how lucky you are to have such a handsome guy who seems so out of reach be your boyfriend.
Things weren’t kept secret for long. When you visited Felix one time, he forgot he was live, saying your name and three forbidden words out loud and straight to the camera: I love you. You never showed your face that live, your hand merely waving hello. It wasn’t until you left the room that both of you had realized what he’d done.
You came into his room after he finished his live, putting his phone away. “What the fuck did you do.” You say, more of a statement rather than a question. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to– it just slipped out!”
“If I knew you were going live, I wouldn’t have come. You slip up easily whenever I’m around.”
“That’s because I love you. And that’s also exactly why I didn’t tell you because I wanted to see you.”
You pace around the room, panicking. “JYP’s gonna kill us. He’s gonna kill you. Your fans are gonna come and kill me!”
“He already knows.”
“What do you mean, ‘he knows’?”
“Chan accidentally ran his mouth. If anything, you wouldn’t be in my room right now if JYP forced me to break up with you. He just told me to be careful… and I do. Ever since we started dating, I’ve been careful.” He sighs, setting his phone down and walking up to you. “I’m sorry. I… you can stay here for a few days if you’re too scared to go outside.”
He knew that people could find what you look like and all your other information with a mere search of your name. This wasn’t the same as other people knowing who his sisters were. Him getting into a dating scandal would jeopardize your safety and his group. He didn’t care about his group at the moment, he was scared for you.
“I… I’d like that, actually. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I assume that means you don’t mind sharing a bed? Unless you want me to sleep on the floor.”
“You really think I want you to sleep on the floor after the amount of time we’ve been apart?” Your response makes him smile, pressing a kiss to your forehead and pulling you in for a hug, his hand caressing the top of your head. “I’m really sorry. I know I messed up. And I’m sorry I can’t be there for you all the time.”
“I know. It’s okay. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. I know you’re working hard and you’re busy. But… I’m hoping we can still try to enjoy ourselves for the time being.”
He pulls away to look at your face, being confused about your sudden switch up.
“Yes, I’m scared, yes, my life is probably going to be in danger at some point, but I did not come to see you just to worry about this and our relationship going public. It’s out there now, and there’s nothing we can do about it. I know I was panicking about it a few seconds ago, but I’ve come to terms that it happened already. I forgive you. And honestly, I’m glad that you’re that comfortable with me to say it in front of thousands of people.”
“I’m sorry–“
“You’ve apologized enough. It’s okay now.” You cut him off, going onto your tip toes to kiss his nose. “Can we order something? I’m hungry.”
“You didn’t think of doing that before my live ended?”
“I was gonna ask you, but I felt I intruded already.”
After that whole fiasco, people found your social media accounts, some of them even following you, flooding your comments with nothing but sentences that had the name Felix in it at least once. You got a few death threats even, but you tried to not let it get to you too much. It made you a bit paranoid, but the more you went out, the more you forgot about them.
Articles were written; Tiktoks and edits took over your feed about the ‘mystery girl’ or ‘Y/N’ behind the camera that gave Felix heart eyes whenever he looked at you. Eventually, they found out what you looked like, and though you were expecting insults, you were instead given compliments.
Pretty, adorable, beautiful… words that made you feel comfortable to be a part of Felix’s life publicly. He never brought it up during conversations or interviews unless another person did, which, he was very cautious with what he was saying.
You had your fair share of hate. It bothered you a little bit, but then remembered the only reason they hated you was that you had something they didn’t: Felix. His love and affection, his admiration and attention. It boosted your ego unhealthily, but you weren’t gonna get all full of yourself over it.
He wasn’t necessarily open about his relationship. He wouldn’t bring up the topic himself; usually someone else would have to. He would answer any questions, but there was always a limit to them. He was all nice about it though, always asking you after if what he said was okay to share with others.
“‘How’s Y/N?’ She’s good. She’s actually visiting, so I hope I’m not too loud.”
“‘How did you two meet?’ She does camerawork and paid us a visit, shadowing someone else. She always came along for a few shoots in a row, but I didn’t want to miss the opportunity so I just asked when no one was looking.”
“You wanna see her? She’s not too comfortable on camera, so I don’t think–“
“Felix, do you want this?”
You look at his tripod set up, then his surprised expression, as if he’d seen a ghost. “What’s wrong? Am I interrupting?”
“Nothing. What is that?”
“It’s a grilled cheese. I put the last of your gochujang in the butter.”
“Ah, thanks, we needed to get rid of it somehow.” You eye the camera. “Your face isn’t showing.” He clarifies, allowing you to walk into frame, letting him take a bite of the sandwich. His eyes light up, enthusiastically nodding. “It’s good!”
“Do you want it? I’ll make another one for myself.” He nods, taking the plate from you. “Thank you!” He says, mouth full as you walk out the door. “Look at this, guys. You guys summoned her, now I get good food.” He bites into it again, visibly enjoying the simple sandwich you made. “I love my girlfriend.”
The clip went viral. It’s now one of Felix’s iconic moments, and the first of your own.
You two were certainly romantic, private and in public. On the occasion you’d post photos of the two of you together, and you were also open about it if you were to do lives together. You weren’t in every live, but he invited you once and it was fun, so you were open to other opportunities.
You kept your hood on, which hid your face a bit well enough on camera.
“Y/N, what are we making?”
“Rose tteokbokki.”
“If you don’t know already, my girlfriend is an amazing cook and she gives me food sometimes during some of my other lives.”
“Then Felix makes brownies after and it’s a full meal.”
He notices your amount of clothing, greater than his. “Why are you wearing your hoodie? Is it not warm?”
“I’m hiding myself, I’m scared.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of when you’re so pretty.”
“I cannot believe you’re flirting with me in front of over a hundred thousand people.”
“They deserve to know.”
His hand rests atop your head, his fingers gently gripping the hood. You let him take it off, fixing your hair right after. “Isn’t she pretty?” He shows you off to the camera before you hide your face in his chest.
You sat in an innocent little bubble tea shop, scrolling on your phone when you get a call from him unexpectedly. “Hello?” You greet, sipping on your drink. “Y/N, do you wanna come backstage after the concert? Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve last seen you.”
“Probably because it has. Can you really do that?”
“Chan’s parents and siblings are coming, and they’re going backstage, my sisters are coming too.”
“I mean, I’d like to, if it’s possible.”
He chuckles. “I’ll see you there.”
“Love you.”
There’s a brief pause, and you think about hanging up.
“Love you too.” He mutters, ending the call. It wasn’t very ‘professional’ of him to be calling his girlfriend when he should have been out there practicing, but he’s been kept from you long enough. He just couldn’t help himself.
And besides, he’d do anything for you.
As if it were a coincidence, it turned out you were sitting next to Hannah, who greeted you with a hug when she saw you sit down in the seat beside hers. Now you were sitting in your nosebleed seat, eagerly leaning forward to stare at the screen, the sudden random play dance coming on.
From your knowledge, a camera would focus on a certain fan in the audience, mostly in the further back, said fan having to follow one of the boy group’s dances. This would usually come on mid performance, meaning the members would be watching as well.
You’re so engaged staring at the screen, excited to see who’s on next that you don’t realize that it’s you. “Y/N!” Chan says, looking over at Felix. The choreography for God’s Menu begins to play as Hannah forces you up onto your feet, cheering you on.
You hand her your lightstick and place your bag down, forcing yourself to get over it and just do the dance for the few seconds you’re on screen. In your opinion, you did pretty well, judging from the screams that erupted from every inch of the room. You do the ending fairy, leaning against the railing again with a hand under your chin, sending a wink and a flying kiss across the arena. You immediately get shy, hiding your face in Hannah’s shoulder.
“Wow.” Felix starts, feeling Chan pat his back. “That’s my girlfriend, everyone.” He points in your direction, the arena flooded with screams as Felix’s ears and face slowly go red on the screen. You feel your own face heat up as you cover it, Hannah shaking you uncontrollably. “He’s blushing!” Han teases, pointing at your boyfriend’s crimson face. “C’mon, man, say something to her!” Chan says, ushering him closer to the edge of the stage.
“Y/N, I love you!” He holds a finger heart up, sending a flying kiss back to you. Your face goes warm at his bold move, yet you feel pride that he’s comfortable to do that openly in an arena full of his screaming fans. “Don’t cover your smile, you’re beautiful.” The screams somehow get even louder, and you feel as though a million eyes are on you as you wave your lightstick gleefully.
“Aww, so sweet!” Seungmin adds, poking at Felix’s open affection.
“Do you guys wanna know what Felix does? He scrolls through her photos sometimes before practice and he comes back all red. His excuse was that warm up was tough on him.” Chan exposes, though isn’t immediately stopped by his friend. You laugh at the thought, it being heartwarming at the same time.
You wait with Hannah, her parents, and Felix’s family after the concert, seeing Chan walk out first and greet his family, then you. “Felix ‘s coming, just grabbing something.” You nod, letting him reunite with his family for the time being. You smile at his feuding with his sister, feeling a tap on your shoulder.
Felix is standing right behind you with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen, and you practically jump into his arms. “Geez, I’m so sorry, I smell so bad.” His sweat makes your hands cling to him, yet when you look at his face, it made him all the more attractive. Still smelly, but somehow sexy at the same time. He had a towel on his shoulder, wiping his sweat off as best he could. He pulls away to greet his mom and his sisters, taking their pictures for them. You watched in awe how sweet their connection was and how close they were.
You overheard his mom talking to him before they left. “Treat her good, okay? You don’t want to lose her.” Your heart melts, now aware you’ve truly earned his mother’s approval. He walks over to you, stopping to simply admire you, his hand tucking your hair behind your ear.
“My god, you’re beautiful. I’ve missed you so much.” He mutters, the words making you blush and jump onto him for a long awaited kiss. One of those long, cheesy movie kisses was a way to describe it, but who cares if it was cheesy, you finally got to kiss him after months of being away from each other. “Loved your dance, by the way. When’d you get the time to learn that?”
“Circumstances. Figured it’d be best to be prepared.”
“You did fuckin’ amazing, then.” His hand covers his mouth, eyes widened in shock. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You aren’t live anymore, it’s fine.”
“Still felt wrong.”
“Do you guys want me to take a picture of you?” Hannah appears out of nowhere, startling you. You nod, handing her your phone, posing for a couple pictures, feeling Felix’s hand on your hip the entire time. “Alright, now kiss!” Hannah says jokingly, Chan shoving her shoulder.
“Seriously–“ You get cut off by Felix’s lips on yours, smiling into the kiss. Hannah eagerly takes photos, even when he pulls away, simply staring into your eyes as if he could see a whole world behind them. “Can you post that?” He asks, his lips curling into a smirk.
“Am I allowed to?”
“I’m the one that asked.”
That was a yes.
When Hannah hands your phone back to you after scrolling through the photos, she says, “You know I was joking, right?” You huff with a smile, staring at the photo of the two of you kissing. “If Felix was given a chance to kiss me, he would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked.”
missed this goofball <3 love you always and forever, lixie (ps i love ur abs)
YALL R SO CUTE
AWWWW
i want this SO BAD you dont understand
that should be me
SHE IS SO PRETTY
tbh felix same id fold too
HAHAHA CAPTION IS SO REAL
“Have you been doing that for every show?” You ask, Felix running his fingers through your hair. “Doing what?” His eyes dart from your eyes to your lips and back. “Showing your abs. Lifting your shirt up and shit.”
He chuckles, his smile so pure talking about such a suggestive topic. “Yeah, why?”
“You’re telling me if I went to your Korea concert, I would have seen your abs there too?”
“You can see my abs anytime, Y/N.”
“I can?”
“You’re my girlfriend, of course you can.”
“Well, I don’t see you enough to see them that often but–“ When you turn back, his shirt is lifted up, showing them off in the middle of a Sydney sidewalk at an ungodly hour in the morning. You yank his shirt back down, Felix laughing almost too loud. “How indecent of you.”
“If indecent is what it takes to make your face like that, I’ll be it all the time.”
“Shut up.”
“You know you like it.”
“Maybe I do, so what?” You turn your face away from him, feeling his fingers rest under your chin to face you towards him again. “So… show me that you like it.”
“Felix, I am not having sex with you in the middle of the sidewalk at one in the morning.”
“So you’d have sex with me if we weren’t on the sidewalk?”
“I don’t think I can even have sex with you. At all.”
“Who’s stopping us?”
“Your fans. Your company.”
“They don’t have to know.”
“‘lix–“
“I know, I know. I’m just joking. Maybe when this whole idol thing is over.”
“It’ll be a while, then.”
“Hope you’re still in love with me by the time I’m 30.”
“I’ll always be in love with you, ‘lix.”
“Really?” He stops in front of you. “Really.”
“You promise?” He holds out his pinkie finger. You hook your own with his. “Promise.”
And he kisses you. Again, and again, and again.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
i wanna be where you are; feel so close though you’re so far, you’re my girl. 🎧
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Text
Birmingham | Tommy Shelby x Reader (Part 11)
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Previous Part
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader
Summary: Tommy's the one who's finally able to coax (Y/N) out of her apartment. She returns to the Garrison, where Tommy enlists her to get a message to Ada who is, not surprisingly, at odds with her family again.
Warnings: smoking
Word Count: 4153
A/N: I’m sorry it took a little bit, but we’re back!! I hope you’re still excited to go on this journey with me. I know that this gif isn’t from season 1, but I felt that it fit the chapter nicely. Also, updates will be happening every other weekend from here out. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy! :)
Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!
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-ONE MONTH LATER-
An incessant knocking finally roused (Y/N) from her spot on the couch. Usually the knocking would end after a few tries, but this person just wouldn't stop. She took a deep breath and grabbed the handle, taking a moment to prepare herself before she turned it and opened the door. "Hi..." was all the person was able to get out before she was shutting the door in their face, "(Y/N), wait."
"I should've known it'd be you," she sighed as Tommy's arm effectively got her to stop shutting the door. Accepting her defeat, she opened the door all the way and dropped her hand from the knob, showing him that she wouldn't be shutting him out again. "What are you doing here?" she asked then.
"It's been a while, (Y/N)," he started off by pointing out the obvious.
"It has," she was quick to agree because, once again, it was obvious.
Tommy took a moment to look her over. Another thing that was obvious was the fact that she hasn't been caring much about appearances. Her outfit wasn't as put together as it normally was, and her hair, which was usually pinned back in some sort of intricate matter, was left hanging down around her face. From what he could see behind her, her apartment looked to also be rather unkept. This past month had most definitely taken a toll on her, and he felt like an ass because he hadn't been around to help her when she needed it most.
"Your landlord gave me these. She said that they were piling up in her office," he said then as he brought a handful of envelopes up to show her.
"Thank you," (Y/N) responded, taking the letters from him. She looked down at them for a moment before looking up at Tommy again. "Anything else?" she asked him, more than ready to go back into solitude.
"Yeah, uh..." he trailed off, clearing his throat as she looked at him expectantly, "I think you should come back, (Y/N)."
"Oh you do?" she asked him with raised eyebrows, wanting to jump on him for thinking that he had any say on the timeline that she should be following. He didn't know what she was going through...he couldn't be the decider of when everything went back to normal. The pain of losing Matthew wasn't as apparent now as it had been a few weeks ago - it just seemed to be dull now, but every little thing was still proving to be a challenge for her to do. At this point, she felt like she didn't have the energy to deal with the outside world.
"Yeah," he doubled down on his statement.
"So you're deciding when I stop hurting now?"
"No. That's not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
Tommy sighed as he heard the defensive tone stark in her words. He should have thought about what he'd say before he said it. She was right...he couldn't be the one deciding when she came back to work; to society. "What I meant by saying that was that sometimes the best way to get through the pain is to shut the door on it. To make yourself busy enough to the point that there's no space for it in your mind."
"Like you do?" she raised her eyebrows at him, her words making his eyes narrow. He now looked at her like he was surprised that she knew this about him. And she let him know that that was exactly the case. "I've talked with Polly and Ada...they've told me how you just threw yourself into business after the war was over; how you refused to talk about it to anyone."
"The war was different," he said in a dismissing tone.
"Different, maybe...but you of all people should understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. This..." she paused, motioning to her apartment for emphasis, "is my way of shutting the door on it."
"You should be around others...be around people who have dealt with loss like this," he tried another avenue. He didn't quite know if what he was saying was making sense, but he didn't want to see her shut herself off any longer.
"I don't know, Tommy..." she trailed off, a sigh slipping from her lips, "I don't know if I can do it," she admitted to him, her hurt finally seeping through her features.
Silence fell around them then. For once in his life, Tommy didn't know what to say. He knew how (Y/N) thought...he knew that him saying 'you can do it' would fall on deaf ears and most likely be met with push back. He didn't know if she could. He didn't know what she was going through. Sure he'd been in her spot; losing many people in his past. But she was allowed to go through it in her own way, and he wasn't in any place to tell her when she was to forget about it and return to her regularly scheduled programming.
"I'll come back," (Y/N) broke the silence moments later.
Her voice was soft, but Tommy heard her. He couldn't stop his eyes from widening as what she said processed in his mind. He didn't expect her to say that she'd come back. "You will?" he checked, wanting to make sure that this was her own decision.
"Yeah," she nodded her head, "I'll come back to the Garrison tomorrow."
"Ok," he nodded as well, "I'll have someone come to pick you up and make sure that you get there."
"I'll be fine on my own," she turned down his offer, unable to stop the pang of sadness that she felt at the mention of someone doing the job that was once delegated to Matthew.
"Ok," he repeated what he'd just said, knowing better than to push her on it. Despite his desire to make sure that she was safe, he knew she could hold her own.
"So I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked him, using her question as a way to see if he wanted to say anything else to her.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he nodded in agreement, clearing his throat as he dropped his gaze to the floor.
"Ok. Bye, Tommy," she said, offering him the slightest smile as she spoke. He was lucky that he looked up when he heard her voice, otherwise he would have missed it.
"Bye, (Y/N)," he echoed her farewell, nodding to her as she then shut the door between them.
After taking a deep breath, she focused her attention on the envelopes in her hand. The first in the stack caught her attention, so she made her way over to the table and sat at one of the chairs. The return address glared at her for a few moments before she took another deep breath and broke the seal on it.
(Y/N),
I do not know how to express what I need to to you. I am deeply sorry for what occurred when you came to Sheffield. I was unaware of what had been planned, and that you would be coming to visit. Your brothers must have intercepted our letters and sent one of their own. I do not know this for sure because I have not spoken to them since the events of that day. I refuse to do so if this is to be true. Their intentions were heinous and not in line with what my family and its name has stood for.
I was happy to see you though. Your visit has only made me miss you more. I wish things within this family would be different. Your grandfather would be so disappointed to see what has become of his name.
I understand if you don't respond, but just know that I love you with all of my heart.
Mum
After reading over the letter a second time, (Y/N) folded with the letter a sigh and reached up to swipe the tears away before they could fall from her eyes. She should have known that this was the case. Her brothers were most certainly not above using the lesser members in the family for their gain. That's one of the main reasons why (Y/N) had left Sheffield. She didn't want to get tangled up in their schemes anymore.
Deciding to take her mind off of this new news, (Y/N) stood from the dining table and moved back to the chair that she'd been sitting on. She picked the book she was reading up again and attempted to fall back into the fictional world within it. But as she read, the internal war on whether or not to write back to her mother was happening in the back of her brain. Hopefully time would reveal the correct answer to her.
——
(Y/N) arrived at the Garrison at least fifteen minutes ahead of the time she was to start her shift. As she was walking through the front doors, Tommy was exiting the snug. The two's paths crossed almost perfectly, making them stop before they could get to their destinations.
The slightest smile appeared on Tommy's face as he looked over at her. "I'm happy that you're back, love. Are you ok?" he asked her, an expectant look on his face as he awaited her answer.
"Yes, I'm fine, thank you," she answered him with a slight nod, a small smile forming on her face.
"I'll let you get to work. I'm sure there's something Harry could use you for," he told her, nodding his head in the direction of the barman as he spoke.
(Y/N) nodded again before she continued on her way to the bar. Tommy let her walk past before he went to the doors to exit the tavern. He stopped before he could walk through them though, and he turned around to look back at the bar. Harry's eyes lit up when he registered who it was that was approaching him. "(Y/N)! So nice to see you back!" he greeted her with a large grin.
"Thanks, Harry," (Y/N) responded, her small smile still present. She didn't think that this was such a big deal, but yet she was happy to be received by her co-worker/one of her bosses so well after being gone for an extended period of time. "Me bein' back's really nothing special though. Where do you need me?" she asked, hoping to get into her duties for the day.
"Course it's special. It's been different around here without you," Harry dismissed her statement, "besides, it must be something if it's gotten Tommy to stick around," he added, nodding his head towards the door. (Y/N) turned around at the motion and saw that Tommy was still standing in the doorway, watching the interaction that was happening at the bar. When her eyes fell onto him, he nodded once before he finally exited the building, walking out backwards with his eyes hooked onto hers.
"Where do you need me?" (Y/N) asked as she turned around again, hoping that her neutral expression was doing enough to mask how she was actually feeling at that moment.
"There's some boxes that need unpacking in the back room. It'll be useful for that to get finished," he told her and she nodded, making her way around the bar so that she could go to the backroom.
On her way there, she brushed past Grace, who seemed to do a double take when she noticed who had walked past her. (Y/N) didn't say anything, but she couldn't help but snort at the other woman's surprised expression...it was like she didn't still live next door to her. She wasn't sure if she should have been surprised by the fact that Grace didn't stop in at all over the month to see how she was doing. Brushing the thought off, she continued walking to the room. The familiar smell of wood, smoke and a slight ting of musk filled her nose as she stepped into the room, and it made her smile. She was happy to be around the things that made her happy prior to that fateful day. Keeping that smile, she got started with working on unpacking the boxes.
"Oi, (Y/N), it really is you!" a voice called from the doorway some time later, making her pause her work so that she could see who it was. Arthur stood at the door with his signature grin present. "I didn't want to believe Tommy when he told me, but I'm happy to see that you're back," he said, bracing himself on the doorframe as he leaned against it.
"I'm happy to be back," (Y/N) responded, a smile forming on her face. She didn't know how much she missed these people until she was around them again.
"Tommy wanted me to get you. He's in the snug," he told her then.
"He wants to see me?" (Y/N) checked before moving.
"Yeah...wanted to talk about something," Arthur nodded.
"Ok," (Y/N) nodded back as she dropped the box she was working on and made her way to the door.
"I'm happy you're back, kid," he reiterated his previous statement as she walked past him, patting her on the shoulder when she was in reach. (Y/N) only smiled back at him before she made her way out of the room and to the snug.
After debating whether or not to knock, she turned the handle and entered the small side room. "Arthur said you wanted to talk to me?" she phrased her statement as a question as she laid her eyes on Tommy, who was sitting in his chair, smoking a cigarette.
"Yes," he nodded before motioning to the other chair in the room. (Y/N) silently made her way over to it, her heartbeat quickening as she wondered what it could be that he wanted to talk about. Was she in trouble already?
"What is it?" she asked even though she shouldn't have, the anticipation just about overcoming her.
Tommy took a deep breath before he leaned forward in his chair, his eyes fixed on hers. "I need to ask a favor of you," he began, tapping the excess ash off of the cigarette and into the tray, "only if you're up to doing it, that is."
"What is it?" she repeated her question without much thought into what he could be asking of her.
"I need you to deliver a message to Ada..." he paused as the door to the snug opened and Grace entered the room.
"Is there anything I could get you Mr. Shelby?" she asked him, noticing that his glass was empty.
"Not at the moment no," he shook his head before focusing back on (Y/N), "she's not speaking to me, or anyone really, but I want her to be at this family occasion...you'll need to tell her that there'll be a truce," he then detailed the favor he was asking of her.
"Where will I find her?" (Y/N) asked, then taking the slip of paper that Tommy had pulled out and handed over to her.
"She goes to a bathhouse; on women only days. If she's not there, I trust that you've been to where she's living?" he answered, phrasing the second part of his statement in a question, hoping she'd give the answer he was looking for.
"I have," she nodded, not giving much more information, "I've never gone to that bathhouse before, would you happen to know wh..."
"I've been there," Grace jumped back into the conversation from where she was lingering by the door. Tommy and (Y/N) looked to where she was, a look of shock present on both of their faces. Neither realized that the blond-haired woman was still in the room.
(Y/N) opened her mouth to speak, but Tommy got his words out first. "Grace'll go with you," he decided, his tone telling that there was no point in arguing the choice. So (Y/N) closed her mouth and nodded her head. "Get the invitation to her," he reiterated his favor, making (Y/N) nod again.
"I will," she assured him verbally, silence falling in the room then. She was a little unsure about Grace making the trip with her, but Tommy seemed settled on it, and who was she to go questioning her boss on the first day back. "Should we go now?" she asked then, glancing to the door before looking back at Tommy.
"Yes," Tommy nodded, his answer making (Y/N) stand up. She wordlessly made her way to the door, nodding at Grace and waiting for the blond-woman to open it. Tommy spoke again before they could exit: "thank you, (Y/N)," he called to her, and she responded with the slightest smile.
Once the two women were outside, (Y/N) turned to Grace. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" (Y/N) asked to make sure.
"I do," Grace answered, her answer almost coming out in a scoff. There was no reason for (Y/N) to be doubting her in her knowledge. (Y/N) nodded at her response before they set off to the bathhouse.
"She's not here," (Y/N) stated after the two women had been looking around for a handful of minutes.
"I don't see her," Grace confirmed, her words making (Y/N) sigh.
"We'll have to go to her apartment," (Y/N) stated as they made their way to the doors of the building.
"She lives in an apartment?" Grace questioned as the two began walking.
"Yes...she lives with Freddie," (Y/N) answered, her eyes focused on the street signs as she tried to look for those that were familiar. Grace said nothing in response, just nodding her head as they walked down the street.
Once they got to Ada's apartment, (Y/N) knocked on the door thrice. She waited a few minutes on bated breath, hoping that Ada would open up. If she truly wasn't talking to anyone, (Y/N) of all people knew how slim the chances of her actually coming out would be. She kept her eyes focused on the door as she waited. Grace seemed to be more interested in the hall of the apartment and was making sure to take in all of her surroundings.
After knocking three separate times, (Y/N) turned to Grace with a sigh. "I don't think she's here either," she stated, a bit of defeat present.
"That's fine, we'll just go and tell Tommy that she wasn't present," Grace responded, not much of a care for the situation shining through in her words.
"Yeah, but don't you think..." she couldn't finish her statement because a voice came from the hallway behind her.
"(Y/N)?" it was the all too familiar voice of Ada Thorne.
"Ada," (Y/N) said as she turned around to see just the person she was looking for, "I was hoping you'd be home," she added, a smile on her face.
"I was at the bathhouse...it was women's only day there," Ada responded, her answer making (Y/N) furrow her eyebrows.
"Hmm..." she said aloud, turning her head slightly to look back at Grace, "Grace and I went there. We didn't see you," she said, noting that the blonde woman was looking anywhere other than at her.
"Maybe you just didn't see me," Ada stated, brushing the confusion off, "why are you here?...I'm happy to see you again," she moved past the previous topic, stepping forward to give (Y/N) a hug.
"I'm happy to see you too," (Y/N) said as she accepted the hug, "Tommy wanted me to extend an invitation to you; for a family occasion," she then delivered the message she'd been tasked to bring, "he said that there'll be a truce."
Ada's face dropped slightly at the mention of her brother, and (Y/N) wondered if a fallout had occurred between them while she was secluding herself. "What occasion is this?" she asked for more details.
"He didn't say. He gave me this to give to you though," (Y/N) responded, handing the slip of paper she was given over to Ada. The other woman looked down at it for a moment before an unreadable expression formed on her face. "I can't sway you either way. I'm sure they'd be happy to have you at this event...whatever it may be," she ended her statement with the smallest smile.
Ada nodded her head as she took in (Y/N)'s words. "I'll think about it," she gave a vague response, one that made (Y/N) nod.
"Good," she affirmed, her smile growing slightly, "it was good seeing you again, Ada," she said then.
"It was good seeing you too. Please don't go hiding on us again, ok? I'll be here to help you through whatever you're going through."
"And I'll be here to do the same for you," (Y/N) flipped it around, remembering what Tommy had said about his sister. Ada only smiled and pulled her into another hug, one last gesture before the conversation ended and all three women went their respective ways.
——
(Y/N) showed up at the Garrison later that evening, hoping that Tommy was still around so that she could let him know how her errand had gone. Luckily, she found him in the back office. She knocked on the door, making him look up from the book he was looking over.
"How'd it go?" he asked her, his eyebrows raised slightly.
"I gave her the invite. The decision's up to her now," she answered, her response making Tommy nod. She then took a step out of the doorway, feeling that the conversation was over. She was about to leave when something else came to mind. "Can I ask you something, Tommy?" she asked, a hopeful tone filling her words.
"Ask me what?" he asked her, his way of telling her that she could.
(Y/N) stepped into the room before speaking, deciding to move closer to his desk. "Has anything come from the move you were intending to make on my brothers?" she asked him, her voice softer now.
Tommy didn't respond right away. Instead he thought over everything that had happened over the month in hopes that he could give her a concise summary of it. "I've sent men to Sheffield. They've been keeping track of your brothers' moves for me," he decided to keep it vague.
"They're still both alive?" she asked another question while still unsure of what she wanted the answer to be.
"Yes," he didn't cut corners on the response. There had only been one opportunity to take out Grant, but it was a risky one, and at the end of the day, Tommy wanted to be sure of it...and he wanted to make sure that (Y/N) would be alright with it happening. They were still her family regardless of what happened. He shouldn't have the final say in what happens to them.
"Ok," her answer came out like a breath. She wasn't sure if it was in relief or hindrance, and she couldn't shake the feeling of the knot growing in her throat. "Thank you," she said to him before she turned and began walking to the door.
"(Y/N)..." Tommy called out before she could leave.
"Yeah?" she turned to face him again.
"I'd like for you to come to this event my family's having," he said to her, his words catching her off guard.
"I...I'm not family," she stuttered out.
"You're family enough, love. I'd like to have you there," he insisted, a look that (Y/N) couldn't decipher flashing across his face as he spoke, "besides, I'm sure Ada wouldn't mind your company...if she comes that is," he added.
(Y/N) thought about his offer for a moment, weighing out what he said to her in her mind. It would be good to see everyone again, she thought to herself, and this would surely be a good place to do it. After a few seconds passed, the slightest smile formed on her face. "I'll come," she told him.
A similar smile formed on Tommy's face as he heard her answer. He tried his best to mask it though. "Good," he nodded, hoping the response didn't sound too stiff, "I'll tell you more about it tomorrow."
"Ok," (Y/N) nodded her head, taking a step towards the door then. It was late and she was starting to feel tired. "Goodnight, Tommy."
"Goodnight, (Y/N)," he echoed her statement, letting his smile appear as he watched her finally walk out the door. God, why couldn't he get her off of his mind?
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Next Part
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Tagged: @mgcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @l1-l4 @chlorrox @lostgirl219 @woofgocows @bdudette @mrkdvidal1989 @stephhevring @hobothejuggalo @fictional-hooman @httyd-marauders @nataliewalker93 @rangerelik @thecraziestcrayon @lora21 @cilliansangel
SERIES MASTERLIST
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corrodedcoughin · 1 year
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here's a rather juicy concept for you darling!!~
steve getting too into his head and after a fight with eddie, assuming they're over. the bridge burned, tells himself eddie hates him and didn't feel the same, that he'll always be bullshit, that he'll always be in King Steve's shadow.
A month after, Eddie shows up on his doorstep drenched from the rain with no other explanation than " you're worth the love it takes to fix this"
It takes time but they make up, get life sorted, and get married and adopt a dog and live as happily as they can~<3
welcome back!!!!!
Steve living life on autopilot, Robin and Dustin can’t even say that he’s doing anything wrong because he isn’t? He’s doing everything he’s supposed to, picking up the kids, going to work, feeding himself, keeping up with his appearance. It’s just…there’s no Steve in it. There’s no bitchy comments when Mike puts his feet on the back of the car seat, no raised eyebrows with Robin with a customer comes in looking for ‘a movie with yellow in the title, or maybe it was the poster that was yellow?’ He’s technically there but there’s no joy in it.
And he’s not even properly avoiding Eddie, he just happens to not be where Eddie is. Almost like they’ve subconsciously orchestrated their days so that they never cross paths. Every day that goes by Steve just seems to retreat more into himself, his personality dimming until there’s nothing he can be called out on, keeping it all inward facing so there’s no opportunity to be told he’s not good enough.
It’s affecting al of them seeing him like this but Robin and Dustin agreed that telling him would just make it worse. If they try to cheer him up, drop kick him out of his pit he’ll sense it and blame himself, maybe even push them away. He reassures them both, letting Robin know he’s okay, assuring dustin nothing is wrong They just don’t know what to do and it hurts. Steve doesn’t know what to do either. The thing is he doesn’t know if he cares. He cares about his friends. Obviously he does. There’s nothing in this world he wouldn’t do for Robin and Dustin may as well be his own flesh and blood but he’s tired, he’s tried everything he can and just when he thought he’d finally cracked it. Thought he’d found his happiness he ruins it for himself. He knows he’s thinking himself into circles but what else is there to do? So he goes home and every night he puts the tv on to try and pretend that the house isn’t lonely, that he’s okay and that he can cope with the way his life is going. Blames himself when it gets overbearing and drags himself down on the couch to sleep. Rinse and repeat.
He’s just settled in for the night, inconsequential show playing and a sad bowl of over boiled potatoes on a plate with unseasoned salmon that shrunk after he left it too long in the oven. It’s a sad state of affairs but Steve doesn’t contemplate it too long, no point.
There’s a thudding at the door as he half way through a bite of too soft potato. Thinks about ignoring it but doesn’t want to cause a problem so heaves himself up. He makes it to the door, hearing anxious muttering on the other side as he unlocks it. Doesn’t register the voice, actually he doesn’t let himself register the voice until the door is open and Eddie is stood staring at him. Sad, sad eyes meeting Steve’s own.
‘You’re worth the love it takes to fix this’ it’s a simple statement but Steve can’t accept it, won’t let himself. Believes it to be pity, a kindness eddie offers him out of the goodness of his heart. He can feel his head shaking minutely, eyes cast down.
‘Eddie, you don’t have to do this’ it’s despondent and flat. But eddie doesn’t back down, takes a step forward and crouches slightly so he’s in Steve’s line of sight.
‘I know I don’t. That’s why I’m here. When have I don’t anything because I have to Steve?’ He tries to let out a laugh but it doesn’t land, ‘I want to. I need to. Please don’t let this, us, go. I don’t think I can do this without you now’ it’s earnest and real and Eddie’s voice breaks at the end. One more step and Eddie is fully in his space, asking Steve with his eyes as he grabs his hands. Steve nods, let’s him take them.
‘You might not like it but I’m basically a vampire, you invited me in and now there’s no getting rid of me’ Steve looks at him. Finally let’s himself take all of eddie in and it’s a bone deep ache. He wants to pull him in close, bring him into his house, make a home for him, with him. He just wants so much and maybe it’s too much. He doesn’t realise he’s said this last part out loud, words slipping past his lips to show Eddie where it hurts.
So Eddie does what he’s been longing to do, he cradles Steve’s head between his hands ‘Steve, if this is too much i don’t want any less, ‘Kay?’ He finishes with an uncertain smile, then it’s quiet, a pause before Steve brings his own hand up over one of Eddie’s, let’s their foreheads rest together.
‘Okay’ and Steve feels a lightness threatening to break free in his chest, a dam built up and ready to burst with everything he’s been keeping back. The effort to unlearn what he’s been told will be worth it if it means he gets this. If he can look at Robin and Dustin and allow his love to fill him. If he gets eddie back.
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koqabear · 2 years
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Know Your Place.
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requested: here ❁
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Summary:
Friends can be affectionate, right? Wrong! Watch Hueningkai go absolutely ballistic as your friends take sharing is caring a bit too far— they do remember that you’re dating Hueningkai, right…? 
Hueningkai x afab! Reader  
Genre: established relationship, smut, absolute filth
Word count: 3.9K
Warnings: mentions of food and alcohol,pet names, jealousy, dom! Hueningkai, sub!mc, exhibitionism/voyeurism, masturbation, oral (fem receiving), fingering, size kink(?), brief spanking, dirty talk, cream pie (as expected…), overstimulation, aftercare (lemme know if I should add anything!) 
Notes: oh my GOD i was so hesitant on posting this bc what?? Why did I go in this direction?? An absolute monstrous request, rewrote this bitch like four times before I let my brain rot loose. Let’s all take a moment to imagine a world where hueningkai would find the balls to actually pull something like this— god bless fanfiction. 
Feedback is always appreciated…. Enjoy <3
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“Huening, please,” you mutter, putting your hand on top of Hueningkai’s as a way of warning. He listens, his hand frozen on your thigh as you try to ignore the way his eyes are digging into your skin, his fingers toying with the hem of your skirt. 
“___, try this— ahhh,” across from you, Soobin is feeding you a piece of meat, the two of you talking idly as you laugh, opening your mouth and leaning in to accept the food. You hum happily, seemingly unaware of the way Hueningkai can only tense at the scene. 
You haven’t even spared Hueningkai— your boyfriend— another glance as you laugh at Beomgyu’s joke, reaching across to steal a piece of shrimp from your friend’s plate as you miss the way Hueningkai’s jaw tightens at your actions. 
“Baby, try this,” you say, and Hueningkai can’t help but turn red at your words; he’s still not used to hearing you call him such pet names. For a second, his anger is set aside, his shy eyes flitting away as you prompt him to open his mouth so you can feed him. He doesn’t miss the way the rest of your friends take this chance to tease him, comparing him to a teenager due to his behavior. 
It irks him— they can’t seem to take him seriously.
His anger and annoyance only comes back stronger as the boys turn to tease you instead, making comments on how you’re always the one to initiate things with him. He’s not sure what’s worse— the way they seem so sure of their statements, or the fact that you haven’t denied anything. You can only laugh along and cover your mouth as you eat, the rest of them coddling you with their food as if you hadn’t gotten your own plate in front of you. 
This really wasn’t the time to address these feelings, Hueningkai realizes, but he can’t seem to care as he wraps his arm across your waist, sliding closer to you and bringing you in to him, unable to take his mind off the way you were leaning into Taehyun subconsciously during the conversation, his naturally quiet voice making it harder for you to follow along with his words. 
You shoot him a questioning look, tilting your head as the rest of the table catches on to the movement quickly, the conversation stopping momentarily to tease Hueningkai further. You’re quick to ignore them, moving instead to feed him once more, an action that your boyfriend gratefully accepts as he leans into you. 
And even as the conversation shifts and everyone has taken their eyes off you, Hueningkai can’t help but let himself linger in your space, unsure of why he becomes so on edge everytime Yeonjun turns his attention to you, his eyes narrowing as he teases you relentlessly.
“Shut up, you’re worse,” you grin, covering your mouth instinctively as you continue eating your food. Yeonjun laughs, your eyes widening triumphantly as you watch him bring his hand to his face, jumping up as you eagerly point it out.
“See! Hypocrite!” You laugh, leaning forward as Yeonjun swats at your hand, grabbing onto it jokingly as you continue to point a finger in his face. Hueningkai tries to not let his eyes linger on the action, his lips pursing at the way Yeonjuns hands encase yours, having yet to let go even as you stop fighting his hold. 
He’s sure you mean no harm, but he can’t help but feel the irritation bubble hotly as the night goes on, unable to enjoy his food as he suddenly becomes hyper aware of the way everyone interacts with you— With every joke, every lingering glance, every touch, Hueningkai can’t help but try to make his presence known more— his presence as your boyfriend. 
And even when the night goes on and you’re all headed to your place to drink, Hueningkai is sure to keep you close to his side, unable to hold himself back as the sight of Beomgyu pushing you around cutely brings about a sudden bout of recklessness. 
You try to hold in your surprise as he pulls you to the side last minute, bringing you in for a quick kiss that has your head spinning and your heart beating as you’re left to get in to the backseat of the car, unable to keep your cool as you’re left cornered by Kai once more. 
“What was that about?” You say, leaning into his ear as the loud music and the noise that pours in from the windows that have been rolled down allows you to have a (somewhat) private conversation. 
You’re practically pressed against the door with the way Hueningkai is caging you in— that, and the fact that there’s currently four of you squeezed in the back— making you feel small as he gives you an innocent look, his hair falling into his eyes as he tilts his head curiously. 
“What was what about?” He asks, tilting your head up as he smiles, leaning in to give you another kiss that is left unseen under the covers of the night. You can only gape at that, hands grasping onto his jacket as you try to keep yourself from giving in and making out with him then and there. 
“You— you’re—“ you can’t seem to get the words out of your mouth, but Hueningkai is definitely acting differently. It’s easy to say that usually, you’re the one that’s flustering him— the one that’s always acting affectionate in public. So for him to spring this onto you— whatever this was— was absolutely cruel.
“I literally wiped the floor with you last time!” Your tense moment is interrupted as your friends get out of the car, the sounds of Yeonjun and Beomgyu arguing bringing you out of your daze. Your eyes meet with Hueningkai’s as he flashes you an innocent smile, reaching over you to open the door, acting as though nothing had happened. 
“No you didn’t, I was just letting you win,” Yeonjun retaliated, ignoring Beomgyu’s protests as you brought out drinks for the group, cracking his knuckles nonchalantly as Hueningkai had already begun to set up the console in the living room. 
“Best of three, right now,” Beomgyu says, patting the floor next to him as Yeonjun sighs, handing him a shot before he takes the controller from his hands. 
Without another word, the rest of you settle on the couches, making secret bets on who you think would win— your money was on Beomgyu. 
♡♡♡
“Beomgyu you fucking loser I can’t believe I actually rooted for you,” you grit out, face scrunching up at the feeling of the alcohol coursing through your body, your grip tightening on the shot cup that you were given. You’re on the ground now, leaning over the small coffee table in a sad attempt to stabilize yourself, Hueningkai watching fondly from his seat on the couch. 
“That’s on you,” Beomgyu retaliated, much more wasted than you were as he leaned towards you, poking at your chest roughly as he said, “He totally cheated anyway. Game’s rigged.” 
And just like that, Hueningkai was pushed to the side once more as Yeonjun joined in, hours of drinking gone into everyone’s heads as they began to argue, leaving you in the middle as you helplessly tried to defend yourself. 
It was too much— it felt like everyone was after you, unable to take Hueningkai seriously as they let themselves toy with you, pushing you around and teasing you as if you didn’t have someone attached to you. 
“___, you know I’m better, yeah?” Yeonjun said, drunkenly squeezing your cheeks as he moved your head up and down to agree with him, letting out a soft “yesss” in a tone to mock your voice. You could only laugh, the fact that you had yet to push him away annoying Hueningkai beyond belief— he was right there watching, why couldn’t you stand your ground for once?
“Nah, she likes me better, she was cheering for me in the first place,” Beomgyu says, pulling you towards him and wrapping his arms around you as he tried to hide you away from Yeonjun. 
Hueningkai couldn’t believe it— The sight of Beomgyu wrapped around you, encasing your body in a way that only he should be able to— it drove him mad. 
He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol in his system, or if he’s simply had enough, because Hueningkai quickly finds himself pulling you away from Beomgyu, kneeling down on the carpeted floor with you as he’s pulling you in for a kiss, the rough feeling of his lips and the aftertaste of alcohol filling your senses as you’re left wide eyed and frozen. 
You could hear a pin drop— well, you probably couldn’t, but what you could hear was the way the room fell silent, all eyes on you as you melted into Hueningkai, the feeling of him on you leaving you even dizzier than you already were.
He’s reluctant to pull away, a new fire lit in his eyes as he looks around the room, taking in the sobered expressions of his friends. Yet, there’s something else in their eyes; an undeniable curiosity, lighting through and giving him the confidence to turn to you and say his next words. 
“Honey, how about we give them a show?” 
It’s all up to you; you can see written on your boyfriend's face, the words “we’ll stop if you want to” practically ready to come out of his mouth. But there’s something drawing you in, taking away the hesitation as you take in the new fire in his eyes. And sure, the hungry gazes of the rest of the men in the room were nice too. 
“I… okay,” you breathe out, and before you know it you’re being pulled back to the couch, tossed on it like nothing as he towers over you, glancing back at his friends one last time, only to roll his eyes at the way they’re all frozen in their spots, eyes wide as they watch you.
“Leave if you want,” Hueningkai says, kneeling down before you as he begins to caress your skin, planting soft kisses as he slowly makes his way up your thighs, “But remember your place.” 
Taking a second, Hueningkai waits— teasing, disgust, awkwardness, anything— but nothing comes. 
“Fuck,” you mutter out, leaning back against the cushion as you take in the intensity of it all— the feeling of everyone’s eyes on you, it was too much. Your breathing is slow and deep as you reach to entangle a hand in Hueningkai’s hair, tugging on it softly as you resist the urge to open your legs crudely. 
And with that, everyone is hooked, watching intently as the fabric of your skirt rides up and bunches prettily around your hips, your soaked panties being revealed to the room as they try to ignore the way their pants suddenly became too tight, too uncomfortable. 
Hueningkai is quick to please, his hands reaching to tug your panties down, groaning softly at the way your arousal coats the fabric. You can feel your body growing hotter, attempting to shrink away from everyone’s curious eyes as Hueningkai spreads your legs further, wrapping his arms around your hips as he pulls you closer to the edge of the couch. 
You’re practically melting against the couch the second he puts his mouth on you, the feeling of his tongue circling on your clit bringing out a low whine from your lips, the sound only stirring up more arousal from the men in the room. They can only watch, mouths dry and eyes eager as they take in the sight of you slowly falling apart, thighs tensing and your hands pulling at Hueningkai’s hair as you bring him closer to you. 
“Shit, feels so good,” you cry out, hips bucking into your boyfriend's mouth as you lock eyes with Yeonjun, his gaze dazed and mouth parted as he watches you, a new wave of pleasure washing over you as you find yourself unable to look away. Your eyes linger on his form, catching onto the way his hands fidget on his thighs, unable to miss the bulge of his jeans.
The feeling of Hueningkai’s lips wrapping around your clit brings out a sigh from your mouth, your eyes squeezing tightly as he begins to suck, the teasing feeling of his fingers on your slit making you fall apart with need. Opening your eyes, you find yourself lingering your gaze back to your friends, taking in the way they seemed to be tense and awkward, not sure what to do with themselves as they try to ignore their own arousal. 
Your eyes flick back to your first victim, biting down on your lip when you find his eyes solely focused on the sight of Hueningkai between your legs. 
“Junie,” you whine out, mouth agape as you try to keep it together, the feeling of Hueningkai inserting two fingers inside of you making your mind go blank for a second. His eyes widen and you can see the way he flusters, the sound of his name coming from your lips in such a way almost making him cum then and there. He gulps, waiting patiently for you to continue. 
“Touch yourself for me, yeah?” You say, the familiar feeling of your incoming orgasm making you grip onto Hueningkai tighter, glancing down at him to make sure that he was alright with your request. He could only groan as your eyes met his, pulling his fingers out and taking a moment to delve into your pussy, the feeling of his tongue inside you making your hips buck from the pleasure.
Looking away from him, you couldn’t help but let the sly smile take over your lips as you were met with the sight of Yeonjun running a fist up and down his cock, finding the rest of your friends beginning to  loosen up as well. Your eyes flicker over to where Taehyun and Soobin sit, finding them unable to take their eyes away from you, their lidded gazes meeting you as they try to memorize the sight of you begging Hueningkai for more. 
“Fuck, I’m close,” you mumbled out, throwing your head back as Hueningkai sped up, attaching his lips back to your clit before you felt his long fingers slide back into you. His fingers curled inside you, pressing expertly against the spot that had you whining for more, your hips rolling onto his face as you tried to follow the rhythm he made for you. There was no one else that could do what Hueningkai did— he knew your body like the back of his hand. 
Feeling yourself cum on his fingers, you felt yourself tense up, your thighs closing up on his head as you bit at your lips to try to keep your noises down. He never stopped, letting you ride out your orgasm as the burning gazes of your friends burned into your skin. It was almost like they were trying to memorize this sight— your chest heaving up and down, a light sheen of sweat coating your skin as you finally came down from your high, your eyes slowly fluttering open as you took in your surroundings. 
To you, it was just you and Hueningkai— nothing else mattered as you pulled him up, bringing him up for a kiss as you could feel the taste of yourself on his lips, the sight of your glistening pussy left out in the open as the others groaned at the sight. 
“You were so good for me princess,” Hueningkai mumbles against your lips, biting at the flesh softly as he takes in your fucked out state. You hum softly at his words, the heavy feeling of both the alcohol and your recent orgasm leaving you weak against his grip. He towers over you, tilting your head up to face him as he leaves another kiss, letting himself make his way down the column of your neck as he leaves marks all over. 
Your eyes take in the way everyone is still watching you, eager and waiting as the heaviness of alcohol and lust clouds their eyes, taking in the way you let yourself be taken over by your boyfriend’s touches. Feeling him pull away, you sharply inhale as you feel him teasing your entrance once more, his fingers circling your slit immediatley drawing the attention of your friends. 
“I think she deserves a reward, right?” He says, addressing no one in particular as you take in his words, whimpering softly at the thought of what might follow. He grins, and before you know it, you’re being flipped over, your cheek pressed against your couch cushions as you’re left to Hueningkai’s mercy. 
It isn’t long before you can feel Hueningkai teasing your entrance, rubbing his tip up and down your slit as you let out a whine, trying to not move your hips to chase his cock. He can only laugh at the way you’re reduced to a pathetic mess, placing a hand on your waist to still you as he looks back at his friends, a cruel look on his face as he continues teasing you.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she hyung?” He mutters, startling Soobin as he looks away from your flustered face to meet his younger friend’s eyes, cheeks reddening as the sudden attention makes him stumble on his words.
“Ye— yeah, she is, fuck,” he says, unable to keep his cool as he can feel his hand start to palm at his bulge, unable to hold back the moment your doe eyes peek at him from the couch. He looks at you, taking in the position you're in, and he can’t help but wish that he were the one ruining you instead.
“Don’t be shy, I’m sure this cock whore wouldn’t mind seeing you touch yourself,” you yelp as Hueningkai’s palm comes in contact with your skin, the sharp sting of the impact leaving you to whimper as your hands grab onto a pillow, your nails digging into the fabric as you feel him spank you again.
“Isn’t that right baby?” He waits for you to come to your senses as you look up at Soobin, a pool of heat bubbling up inside you as your eyes meet with his, knowing that your boyfriend expects you to answer.
“Yes,” you breathe out, and you can’t help the way that your eyes move to Taehyun, taking in the way he tenses at your gaze, “Both of you, please— I wanna see it…” you can’t help the way you slur your words out, the feeling of Hueningkai slowly easing the tip in catching you off guard as you’re digging in your face into the cushions to muffle your sounds. 
You look to the side, your eyes locking with your last victim as you feel Hueningkai’s hands lock onto your waist, his grip bruising as he can already feel the way you clench around him desperately. 
“Gyu, you too— fuck…” your eyes flutter closed as the stretch of Hueningkai’s cock against your walls leaves your mind entirely blank. Hueningkai was big— in both length and girth. And while that usually meant him taking his time to stretch you out and become accustomed to him, you couldn’t help but let yourself enjoy the new feeling of him roughly going inside you, the hot stinging pleasure from the size of him leaving you to whimper and whine uselessly on the couch. 
Huenignkai could feel himself losing control as time went on— you were so warm and soft around him, the feeling of your walls fluttering around his cock bringing out low groans from him. The sight of you beneath him, falling apart from him merely entering you only made things worse, so before he knew it, he felt himself pounding into you roughly, the need to chase after his pleasure taking over his mind. 
This was so stupid— he wasn’t sure if he had gone absolutley mad, or if his friends had driven him to this point, but he couldn’t really care less as the clear desire of every one of his friends only became more prominent at the sight of you getting ruined by him.
But that only made him swell with pride— after all, he was the only one who could do this to you.
“Such a pretty pussy, taking me like this,” he muttered, feeling the way you could only clench at his words, your mind long gone as you let him use you. He could feel everyone’s intense gaze on the two of you, taking in the way you were being driven to the edge by Hueningkai’s cock, their own orgasms manifesting the longer they watched. 
“And all mine too,” you weren’t used to him speaking like this— so possessive, so needy, yet, as you met eyes with your friends around the room, you couldn’t bring yourself to care— you could see that he had been driven to this point.
It was never your intention to make him jealous; your relationship with everyone had always been this way. But fuck, if this is what it led to, then you’re not too against making him a bit jealous more often. 
“Huening, fuck,” you cry out, the feeling of him thrusting into you so roughly making the tight coil in your stomach tighten, your hands scrambling on the couch to try to find something to stabalize you. 
You couldn’t help the way you cried out once Hueningkai’s fingers began to circle your clit, the tight feeling inside of you falling apart as you felt yourself fluttering and gushing around Hueningkai’s cock, your body going slack as you let him continue to fuck you roughly.
“Just a bit more, I’m almost there,” he says, taking in the way you try to keep up a brave front, nodding as the feeling of overstimulation tears you apart. He watches fondly, unable to take his eyes away from you as everyone in the room seemingly melts away, and it isn’t long before he can feel his end approaching too.
His hips stutter and his rhythm is lost as he bottoms out inside you, groaning as the feeling of him filling you up makes you clench around him once more. He’s still for a second, panting quietly as he tries to regain his composure, surprised to find everyone else equally fucked out and hazy. 
“Enjoy the show?” He mocks, the adrenaline still in his system as he takes in the way no one can muster up the courage to respond. Slowly, he begins to move his hips once more, fucking his cum back into you as you begin to whine, shaking your head softly to try to get him to stop. He can only laugh at that, playing with the fabric of your skirt before he’s pulling out, hissing softly at the feeling. 
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says, tucking himself in before he’s picking you up, ignoring your protests to put him down as he leads you to your bathroom, not bothering to spare a glance at the rest of his friends that remained in the living room, far too shocked to do anything as the reality of what happened begins to set on them.
Hueningkai couldn’t care less of the consequences to all this— afterall, he’s sure that the others won’t be able to tease him anymore. 
It was about time they learned their place, anyway.
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ripple-and-tide · 10 months
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So this morning a staffmate told me about the recent Miami Zoo Kiwi incident that’s come to light, and I’ve been fucking livid all day.
Just been reading through a bunch of articles (majority NZ news sources) and the Zoo’s official statement, and somehow it’s even worse than what my irate coworker was able to convey to me. Miami Zoo had the absolute fucking privilege of receiving a (North Isl. Brown (?)) kiwi egg to hatch and raise as a species you would never normally see outside our little island at the bottom of the world as part of a some global zoo wildlife initiative.
Brief brief summary: viral videos coming out of this kiwi (Paora) being put on a table and patted by paying customers under bright lights, having selfies taken, made to run around during the day, keeper pursuing him whenever he tried to hide in his box. All around blasé attitude from keeper talking about this bird while he’s being paraded about on display. There’s video footage but I could seriously only stomach watching it once. He’s been there for 4 years and in the wake of this outrage they’re claiming to be building him a ‘proper enclosure’ now. He’s been handled like this at least 4 times a week and his current enclosure has been 3x3m.
They had access to super fucking detailed information on how to take care of this very sensitive and specialized animal, and what the fuck do they do? Disregard ALL of it to sell cutesy, ~rare bird~, self-obsessed animal encounters.
Either you knowingly and intentionally went against SO. MUCH. vital animal husbandry or you are just such a fuckwit you legitimately think it was good animal handling, I don’t know which is worse honestly. If it’s the former, congratulations; American Capitalism continues to be the most nasty, disrespectful piece of shit I see regularly parading about in broad daylight. If it’s the latter, then are your staff for real just exotic pet-obsessed freaks who showed up one day in a uniform and you just went ‘yeah sure you can be a zookeeper good enough’. Shoutout to that ‘keeper’ who had Paora’s head pinned to the fucking table with his fist going ‘hohoh yeah he’s just like a dog he loves being pat on the head’ yeah sure thing idiot I bet your zookeeper degree taught you all animals and birds especially just love being slapped around and treated like dogs.
The thing that’s got me the most though, is how over the top and pitiful they are being in their apology; “we’ve offended a nation...”, “it should have never happened”, “we are so sorry this video has caused stress to people”, ok yeah but fuck what we think why is there exactly ZERO mention of the stress, harm and sheer exploitation you have put this animal through??? Like yes, Paora is a taonga species and that is certainly adding to the severity of this response, but in and of itself the fact that their official statement answers ONLY to humans’ responses and outrage and not the failure to care for this animal is telling as fuck to me.
I really liked reading iwi leader Paora Haitana’s response (who Paora the kiwi is named after), in much nicer words than me expressing deep concern over the harm to Paora, the disrespect it is to him as a taonga species and us as protectors of them, and also heavy, heavy emphasis on words holding no shape under the weight of everything that has happened; they need to follow through and follow through right now with adequate care.
Personally I’d like to see Paora moved to a zoo that actually cares about his needs and conservation education over selling clickbait. I feel the love and intention of bringing him home to Aotearoa, though I don’t know how realistic that is with the risk of introducing diseases from abroad into the NZ populations. I also would expect a thorough investigation of Zoo Miami’s husbandry for all their species and the credentials of their staff.
Thanks for coming along to rant o’ clock, I’ll be back to reblogging regular fandom shit now so please don’t follow me if you’re expecting more of my own content lol. Enjoy some great twitter banter from this mess
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