#please don't ever stop talking about it

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

#i said i wont ever rant about this bc it's unseemly but HONESTLY. #you simply cannot complain about not having enough of A or B or C and then never reblog / interact with the content you love. #If you LOVE something you cannot just leave a like and silently wait for more to happen #I know countless of content creators that simply stopped doing art/writing fic/making edits #You need to understand that fandom content is made FOR the fandom FOR the engagement FOR the entertainment and fun it makes. #If a content creator does not have fun IN the fandom-- why would they spend the scares free time they have on making this content? #And we're not talking about things that you don't like-- no one expects you to reblog things you don't like. #However I think it's safe to say that when a post has more than 5k it's not some random shitpost with no value. #tumblr issues #tumblr #content creators #buns.txt #something something please don't starve your local clowns

[flyingbuddiies]

the day osc tumblr stops fighting over tacomic is the day we all heal [adding my personal opinion in the tags]

#tacomic neg #adding the tags so the people im talking about can see this and actually digest it with their eyeballs #its just so tiring #why do u guys care about ship discourse so much for ships that aren't even bad or hurting anyone #please just look away and stop complaining and being unnecessarily mean to people who are doing nothing wrong #i've never seen any actual tacomic shippers MAKE them abusive or toxic or belittle other ships and be so hostile towards them #also it'll make you much happier instead of making you pointlessly mad all the time if u just stop caring #i think people should just stop fighting each other cause it gets nowhere and just makes both parties mad and upset for no reason #but the osc thrives off of negativity and infighting for some reason idk why im even saying this. im not surprised this is happening. #its been like this ever since i joined. don't you guys ever take a break instead of being so negative all the time? #its also hypocritical for reasons i've said before but i don't feel like starting anything up

[please-give-dd-bread]

haii!! so um not sure what to post but like all i can think of right now is um the correlations between Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta and Elma so um here! have a list of the different ways Elma (the album) references the diary, letters and the album it responds to

(if i miss some let me know please)

and dearest mobile users i will spare you so have a cut

edit: so @just-nonsense-bungaku said some stuff in the replies (thank you so much!) and all the songs after 8/27 (or the Nautilus MV) were written by Elma when her anger lost steam and she started to process her grief. explaining why Ame to, Yuu, Kokoro and Amy sound so different from the style she used (or copied off of Amy) from pre-8/27

and another edit: @teamsavingmyles said some stuff in the rbs, thank you thank you thank you!!! i've been thinking about Yuunagi's references recently cuz i've been working on translating both albums but i never really got around to it so yeah thanks!

edit: i just changed the order of stuff because i forgot well. each song would be written on different days, so for example Koe wouldn't refer to Kokoro, more like Kokoro was inspired by Koe and Yuunagi's metaphor for a hole in the heart

1. 8/31 & 車窓 (Shasou/Train Window)

...they're instrumentals :P (seriously i find no connection)

2. 藍二乗 (Ai Nijou/Deep Indigo) & 憂一乗 (Yuu Ichijou/Only Sorrow)

the concept of i to the power of 2 (and however that relates to Amy's feelings about Elma)

also the first kanji of both titles sound like "i" and "you"

edit: so Ai's chorus' motif is about how blurred the world is, because of Amy's tears, while Yuu's chorus motif is how transparent the world feels to Elma, now that Amy's gone

edit: Yuu takes the phrase "I don't need anything" from Hachigatsu, but for a completely different reason. i think in Hachigatsu, Amy says he doesn't need anything to show his life will ends soon, so like what's the point of anything. in Yuu, Elma says she doesn't need anything besides Amy. she just wants to hear him sing, just one more time (or something)

i mean other than that there isn't much, they sound so different

(like seriously. Ai is like TADA. TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- and then Yuu makes suis sound like she's about to cry. dakede *sobbing*)

3. 八月、某、月明かり (Hachigatsu, Bou, Tsukiakari/August, A Certain Place, Moonlight) & 夕凪、某、花惑い (Yuunagi, Bou, Hana Madoi/Evening Calm, A Certain Place, Fireworks)

so first of all both seem to stem from one memory of watching fireworks in the summer (according to a summary of Letters and Diary i read some time ago)

edit: re-reading Diary and it was Memory 17

Yuunagi was the first song Elma wrote, which is why it sounds so similar to Hachigatsu (INTENSE electric guitar, softer at the verses, picks up at the chorus, drops again)

also unrelated note but Hachigatsu is by far the angriest song i can think of. at least by Yorushika

edit: one of the last lines of Yuunagi may be what inspired Kokoro, "In my heart, a hole opens"

Yuunagi also references Ai, in the line "this song has about ___ characters" and the phrase "drowning in flowers" is seen again in Ame to

4. 詩書とコーヒー (Shikaki to Koohii/Songwriting and Coffee) & 雨とカプチーノ (Ame to Kapuchiino/Rain and Cappucino)

...coffee

okay seriously though, both also sound somewhat similar to each other (but from here on out, Elma's developing her own style :DDD)

in both songs they do struggle to keep up with memories of each other, in Shikaki Amy states he forgets things like dreams, things like Elma's mouth and eyes and in Ame to Elma tries not to let anything, literally all of her memories of Amy fade away. (reminds me of the reason why Elma kept a diary for her trip to Sweden)

5. 7/13 & 湖の街 (Mizumi no Machi/Lakeside Town)

...they're also instrumentals

6. 躍ろうぜ (Odorouze/Let's Dance) & 神様のダンス (Kamisama no Dansu/Dance of the Gods)

um the titles have "dance" in them???

not sure really. in Odorouze, Amy pretends everything's fine when he's still struggling with his memories of Elma and depression and whatever and in Kamisama no Dansu Elma is PISSED OFF about the fact that she decided to follow Amy's footsteps considering his values. i mean i don't blame her i don't feel like being told i'd have about a year left to live and just LIVE AND GO DO STUFF and go to Sweden before realizing "dang. i screwed up. can't talk it back now--" *oofs self on some random dock*

oh also a discussion i had w/ nonsense-bungaku on Kamisama has changed my beliefs slightly; Elma is still mad at Amy (and herself) for following his path and beliefs but she's also kind of done trying to create music with "value" and "purpose", just creating music because it's fun, because the process of creating music is something one can derive joy from

edit: Kamisama does take a line, "名もない花が綺麗とか" ("Nameless flowers are beautiful") and a slightly altered version of the line "そんなのどうでもいいから" ("I couldn't care any less about that", being "どうでもいいことばっかだ" meaning the same thing) from Yoru Magai

Kamisama also references Yoru Magai in the lines "I keep my head down, like I'm scared" because in the verses of Yoru, in the fifth lines, Amy talks about keeping his head down, so he can't see how blue the sky is or so he doesn't understand everyone's feelings.

another unrelated note, Kamisama no Dansu is still freaking good. not that it wasn't good before but like there's something about it that i really like and would talk about until i fainted from loss of oxygen.

7. 六月和雨上がりの街を書く (Rokugatsu wa Ameagari no Machi wo Kaku/In June, I'll Write About the Town After the Rain) & 雨晴るる (Ame Haruru/After The Rain)

first of all, both of them are about rain (astute observation. round of applause.)

i do think it's really cool how Amy says he'd write about the rain in the town he stayed at but never stayed long enough to write about it, so Elma does it for him. also Elma's style has changed from where she was before, like say, Yuunagi or Koe

also Rokugatsu references Ai Nijou and may be what inspired the creation of Parade

edit: both Ame and Rokugatsu talk about this "ultramarine" which, at least to me, in Rokugatsu refers to the whole memories and the window and in Ame Ha it refers to tears

Ame Ha also references Gogatsu with the swaying curtains, and *potentially* references Hachigatsu in the line "my heartbeat rung out". potentially. if i'm looking too deep and they aren't related don't yell at me

8. 五月は花緑青の窓辺から (Gogatsu wa Hana Rokushou no Madobe Kara/In May, from the Emerald Green Window) & 歩く (Aruku/Walk)

again, not sure how these correlate. though i like how Aruku's chorus is a slowed down version of Gogatsu's chorus.

edit: ...how i didn't notice this i will never know. the frikking Emerald Green/tears metaphor.

Aruku also talks about feeling "asleep", where Elma (as she said in Ame Ha) plays dumb and pretends not to know Amy would die early cuz chronic illness and moveth to foreign country (though Amy did grow up there) and unhealthy mental state. this song and Koe also talk about Elma hating herself for doing so, but Elma and Nautilus think that her playing dumb was pretty endearing

both songs also have this feeling of being "trapped", where Amy feels trapped in this life, and the only way out is Emerald Green, while Elma got left behind and is now stuck looking for at least scraps of the person she loves through these streets

Aruku also potentially references Yoru Magai in the way Elma imitates Amy by keeping her head down, the same way as Kamisama

9. 夜紛い (Yoru Magai/False Night) & 心���穴が空いた (Kokoro ni Ana ga Aita/A Hole Opened Up in My Heart)

i think it's cool how Yoru's main and last line is "I want to open up a hole in you" and then Kokoro's is like "That's why a hole has opened up in my heart" like HOWWWWW HOW MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT

also Kokoro's third line references the song it responds to, as well as Letters 6/26, "a false night, like twilight, painted the town"

also another unrelated note KOKORO NI ANA GA AITA IS JUST SO SAD AND PAINFUL. LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LET ME CRY

edit: how none of you said this gets me. um the line "君だけが僕の音楽なんだよ"、 エイミー ("You alone were my music", Amy) is literally from Ai Nijou (i mean i guess it was too obvious but whatever i'll put that in)

10. 5/6 & 森の教会 (Mori no Kyoukai/Church in the Forest)

more. instrumental.

11. パレード (Parade) & 声 (Koe/Voice)

both incorporate the concept of the God of Art which i think is cool

both are lyrically short

Koe references Yoru in the line "this heavy life is like a machine gun" and may have alluded to the metaphor from Yuunagi - in the line "what I want to draw/picture is the time that hollowed my heart" (and maybe a part of a line got re-used in Ame to Kapuchiino?? does the line "when I cry, it overflows” count???)

Koe also sounds like Parade, just in the key C#, not D

edit: in Letters 7/13, Amy said Parade was Koe

another edit: Parade is the song about the God of Art, right??? well i read @saikisser 's post on how FREAKING SAD PARADE IS AND LISTENING TO IT WITH CONTEXT MAKES IS EVEN SADDER and well Amy also thinks Elma is divine to him (because she's the one that sings the lyrics the God of Art managed to find in his fingers)

also another unrelated note but listen to Parade it's such a beautiful song i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ittttttttttttttttt

12. エルマ (Elma) & エイミー (Amy)

awwwwww the non-depressing songs!!! i love them sm

um they're messages directly to each other

both were the last songs each other wrote in the story

they both sound sweet and Kumo to Yuurei-esque, but slightly more upbeat (basically just similar to each other)

yeah i love those songs they're the only happy ones by Yorushika i can think of besides Haru Dorobou (which is just SPRING :DDD oooo flowers!!! they're pretty!!!)

anyways.

13. 4/10 & 海底、月明かり (Kaitei, Tsukiakari/Seabed, Moonlight)

another. instrumental. (dw this is the last instrumental)

aaaaaaaand the last one. the one we've been waiting for.

14. だから僕は音楽をやめた (Dakara Boku wa Ongaku wo Yameta/That's Why I Gave Up On Music) & ノーチラス (Nautilus)

so they were both featured at the end of their journeys. (Amy oofs himself on the dock, Elma finds his stuff a year later and cries before going home on a ship like a month later but in that month there's like no lore whatsoever so it's kind of an epilogue???)

Dakara Boku mainly is just. looking at whatever happened back then and how much Amy regrets whatever he did in Letters. he wishes he stayed with Elma cuz then he'd have a bit longer to live but well i guess he really isn't going to make it past the summer. also screaming. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--

i will say Nautilus was also written by Amy, because at the literal end (just before he wrote Elma, i think. he doesn't write when he says goodbye in Letters and Diary obviously doesn't state when it was written because well Elma doesn't know) he was going about his day before realizing the day he runs out of ink draws nearer and nearer. and he hasn't even considered how Elma felt/would feel after he's gone so he wrote Nautilus as a way to say "it will be hard, but turn away from me and lift your head to the future" and that makes me cry even harder like NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU HERE BUT ALSO I CAN'T TAKE YOU WITH ME CUZ YOU TOOK THE BUS TO THE OTHER WORLD CYA

and that's it for the albums! =w=

*pathetic bowing*

#yorushika #ヨルシカ #that's why i gave up on music #だから僕は音楽をやめた #elma #エルマ #oh also also also! not related to yorushika but a few months ago i discovered tuyu #from yappari ame wa furunda ne #now i sometimes type daKEDO YAPPARI AME WA FURUNDA NEEEE randomly cuz i can #but about the song Compared Child #it escalates. like really bad. #like it starts off #ah compared child. compared child. you don't have to tell me. i know i won't ever be as good as her. please don't and leave me alone. #<- mildly irritated. she knows. you can stop comparing her. *some time in the song later* #AH. COMPARED CHILD. COMPARED CHILD. YES I ALREADY KNOW. I WILL *NEVER* BE AS GOOD. I KNOW NO MATTER WHAT I DO I WON'T GET REWARDED. #DON'T EVEN BOTHER TALKING TO ME. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. I WISH I KNEW HOW MUCH I WOULD HATE YOU. #<- VERY VERY PISSED. on the verge of a breakdown (if said breakdown hasn't yet occurred) #anyways have a nice existenceeeeee

[wild-at-mind]

Not to talk about MRA-lite spaces again but I'm going to need everyone to understand that in these spaces, the subtext of 'men don't get to talk about their problems' is ALWAYS 'and it is women's fault!'

#my time in the MRA-lite saltmines returns to me yet again whenever i see the transandrophobia side of tumblr #look- it's just the same stuff ok? Or maybe i'm just biased because it triggers me the fucking same no matter who is saying it #also please note i'm saying MRA-lite and not MRA- I understand that MRA usually has connotations of violence for people #MRA-lite is nothing like that it's just a load of talking about men's issues but without any of the context #the very important context that you need to place the issues into wider society and its effect on everyone and not just men #these spaces may not be violent but they are quite pointless and the conversations never ever go anywhere #and it's been the same like 5 conversations for the past 15 years and no doubt much longer but that's as far back as i go with it #every time someone discovers the 5 or so men's issue they act like they just converted to a religion or something #and bring it up in everything. I was like that too at like 21 i promise i get it! but now i look back and CRINGE #and i am a guy now! ok? I get it that a lot of people are transmasc doing this i get why! but..... #i just wish it was less of a Thing. and i genuinely find it triggering. #because i do fucking care ok? i have academic books about some of the 5 or so men's issues on my bookshelf! #because actually there are people writing these books and they do care! #i had someone a while ago saying it was 'sad' to see a trans man talk like i do on this so i explained where i'm coming from #and they never came back so i will never know if they saw my point of view and that kind of sucked #hopefully that won't happen again- i really don't like arguing with other transmasc people (i like discussions though) #anyway i'll stop rambling now

[kyouka-supremacy]

Does anyone know where I can find the good quality version of this image? It's so frustrating because when cross searching on google it'll tell me the original quality is 850x478, but I can't find a way to download it in that quality. This is another version of the image (I'm guessing it's Mayoi promo art):

But I liked the clean white background one...

#It's cute... #It's got Akutagawa stealing glances at Atsushi #Thought asking was worth a try ;;;;;; #Google cross image search has changed and as someone who used it as I use breathing it's been absolutely heartbreaking. #It makes cross searching images so much harder it's awful #Because before when you looked up an image it suggested you the best quality avaible of that image. #And the search got worse every year but it was still functional you know?? #But now there's not that anymore. There's no “large” “medium” “small” and instead it only gives you “find image source” #Dude I don't want to find the image source. I've downloaded the image I KNOW the source. What I want is ANOTHER SOURCE with better quality #And I used to get it when I was 10 and I used to get it when I was 15 and I sued to get it when I was 20 #And now I don't have it anymore?? It stripes away one of the most powerful search tools on the internet from the public???? #It drives me insane. Like why does internet get worse every year that's not how humanity is supposed to work #Sorry. I needed to rant. This makes every quality-freak media archivist (like me) job harder beyond comparison #Btw if you're looking for an alternative Yandex images still does the work... It's not as powerful search engine as google #and it's often going to miss the particular hidden media (y'know- super niche Akutagawa merch from 2018 and stuff) #But for the rest it does a pretty good job. If anything there's still the best quality avaible option #But seriously looking up stuff for aktgw-daily has gotten so much harder ever since this fucked up change to google lens #and it makes me hate the world. I haven't been able to find a way to reverse it but if anyone more tech savy than me who has any idea- #what I'm talking about can help me. Please please hmu I'll be grateful forever #Sorry for the rant I have a lot of pent up rage over this. Stop making broke people's lives harder challenge #random rambles

[maddy-ferguson]

failed my driving test twice, no actual friends in college, applied to a cool thing and was rejected, no bitches...thank god i'm seeing goodfellas in theaters in a few days because what do i have going for me rn

#the only ones who understand me are cher horowitz and pacey witter. and pacey got his driver's license later (i don't remember but #like i'm sure he did lmao) we don't know if that'll ever happen to me #what's annoying is i still don't think i'm a bad driver. delusions of grandeur maybe. but like yes for like 30mn after i failed the second #time i cried like while walking to the bus stop (i only saw like three people because YEAH it takes like an hour for me to go to the place #where you take the test like it's so annoying i have to take 2-3 different buses AND THEN i don't even have it. plus the money...) and #i was like you are the dumbest bitch ever but it's not because i don't feel capable it's because i DO and i make dumb avoidable mistakes #like it's just very frustrating #talked about the no friends at school thing like a month ago. we were together on wednesday and it's actually not as bad as it felt the day #i posted that but i don't hang out with them outside of school and don't want to is my point. they're like acquaintances that i'm not sure #i like #the thing i applied to i really wanted after i failed my test i was like i need ONE GOOD THING to happen to me this month and then i was #like no i can't post that because what if i don't get it. well #no bitches is self-explanatory #and goodfellas in theaters is real remember when it was already playing earlier this year but there was only one showing and i couldn't go #and i was so annoyed. there's three this time and i could even go to all three if i wanted to. one scorsese movie every monday at 1 from #now on for me please #and like i say: brf slt

[musical-chick-13]

Fandom be normal about bi women challenge (impossible. apparently.)

#look. I too am tired of (white) men getting praised for the bare minimum #but you all do realize that sometimes women do genuinely fall in love with men right #that women are capable of making their own decisions about who they date right #this is one of the reasons that I hate the 'genuinely I hate every single individual man' rhetoric #because so many times it goes hand in hand with this infantilization of women who are attracted to men #it's like 'oh these poor girls trapped in their attraction to men' and then like...treating them as if they are incapable of making informe #choices? like they're just inherently doomed to gravitate toward awful men because they Don't Know Any Better and are #Brainwashed By Society??? please tell me you understand why treating women as if they are too stupid to make their own decisions #is just misogyny again. you understand that right. RIGHT. #'why would you CHOOSE to date a man instead of doing the RESPONSIBLE and PROGRESSIVE and REVOLUTIONARY thing and date a woman!' #because sometimes. women fall in love with men. you can't. you can't will love into existence. you can't control who you fall in love with. #and people-if it's feasible-tend to want to commit to someone they have actual feelings for. what's not clicking here. #(and yes obviously this is a niche-queer-spaces-specific problem people don't have discourse about this in this way irl like the #general population isn't telling me I should only ever be attracted to women and date one solely For The Cause they don't want me #to be interested in women at all. that doesn't stop me from being annoyed every time I see said niche-space-specific ''''take'''') #it's especially confusing to me when BISEXUAL PEOPLE are like this about other bisexual people. like you of all people. should know #how maligned we are from multiple conflicting angles #In the Vents #biphobia #like I know I talk SO much about women and how I want to marry one but that genuinely is just because historically I have been more #attracted to women than men. if I meet a man I click with and fall in love with then hell yeah I'm gonna date him and be happy about it. #I'm not opposed to that outcome at all. but heaven forbid I ever say that lmao

[camellcat]

what happened. what happened. I could not get myself to get into martha OR donna but OHH lookie here folks AMY AMELIA POND comes on screen and it takes me 10 MINUTES to fall in love. WHAT! how. weird. sus. suspicious. how did u do that miss

#I'm still hung up on this I am it's been weeks and I'm only half way through s6 but I just fucking LOVE amy pond #I want to see more people talk about her PLEASE I'm begging I have nothing to say I just get so happy when I see her name on my screen #I could not get over rose enough to be able to fully enjoy either martha or donna's run #and quite frankly I'm still NOT over rose and I don't think I ever will be #but I stg amy stole my heart even FASTER than rose did #INSANE #I mean for my list of companions it still EASILY goes ROSE...... and then Amy... and then (Jack) everyone else #but like... woah.... #rory williams also deserves so much love #I did not fall in love with him until the flesh. which ik is so so late but ohh idk why those eps opened my eyes to him but they didddd #like I liked rory before then but that episode just !!! absolute top tier rory moment thanks #sowwy this is an entirely meaningless post but I literally can't stop thinking about her #amy pond #doctor who

[shoku-and-awe]

Much love for Iggy. He is so sweet and reminds me of my sweet departed girl Ryoko, who left us at age 17 and 3/4, spoiled empress to the very end. You seem to have much more discipline about not giving Iggy things that he shouldn't have. Good for you (so sad for him, deprived shibe). I ❤️ every picture that you share of him, thanks for keeping us up to date on his now happy life!

This is such a sweet ask 🥲 I'm glad that Iggy reminds you of your beloved girl and that you got to have so long and so much love with her! Iggy's only been with us 5 months, but I worry all the time about what I'd do without him. I actually cried reading this ask haha (meanwhile he was outside sulking about how evil I am for giving him a bath 😂)

And he is *also* a spoiled little prince who gets lots of treats :) We're just supposed to avoid high-fat foods!

#real talk: they don't tell you how immediately you'll love them and how much it will change everything #i've spent an abnormal amount of time and emotio thinking about how terribly i will miss him someday and everything that could ever go wron #(hopefully he will live forever #or at least outlive me) #i think that's *partly* a function of my anxious personality and the new responsibility #and partly my brain trying to process how much its structure was upended by loving this handsome little cop #(oh i can't remember if i've mentioned it here but iggy is a total cop. #it's unfortunate but what're you gonna do #he cannot read and does not keep up on the social temperature #we adore him regardless of his fascist beliefs #which include: no one better make any noise at any time for any reason #or walk or speak where i can see them #or where i can't see them #why do other people exists please stop it #etc etc)

[only-by-the-stars]

i wish people would tell me what's wrong with my smut, instead of acting like it's good

#like #i am obviously doing something wrong for them all to flop #am i really just that bad at writing it? #saw someone in a zine server today talking about how their most popular fic was their smut and it's true for everyone #... not me #mine are terminally unpopular and unloved #most don't even get fifty kudos #my latest? not even thirty #and barely any bookmarks #what am i doing wrong? #it's so discouraging #if i ever consider writing that crap again someone PLEASE stop me and remind me that i fucking suck at it #hearing that on that server just reminded me of how fucking dogshit mine is

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[narmothewraith]

I can't believe the first DILF I ever liked (for what I remember) was fucking Zeus from disney's Hercules.... Honestly this movie was great for my sexual awaking because have you seen the Muses? Meg?!?

Also Hercules was such a himbo in this movie.

#I maybe didn't know what sex was at that time but wow did I found him pleasing to look at #Same as Herc and the ladies I mentioned #And while I know we don't talk about the percy jackson movies. I would def fuck that Zeus 👀 #Even while he's a fucking asshole #I know I know he's an awful being or whatever (I read the myths) #but i can't help it #If you are real and ever read this my lord~ THIS DOES NOT MEAN I'M FAIR GAME #I know this wouldn't stop him If he did set his eyes on me 😟 #zeus #zeus pjo #disney hercules #my own post

[ficsforeren]

Hey Kana! I've been a fan of your writings since the past year and I just wanted to say I love them and the way you reply to your asks ❤️ I just wanted to ask a question. How do you deal with the hate comments? Like doesn't it hurt when someone questions your writings? I'm kinda a baby when it comes to tumblr and I just received my first hate comment and it felt really bad. I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you. I just felt like you're someone I should consult about this.

Hello, darling! Thank you so much for sending me a message and you're not bothering me at all! I'm happy that you reached out to me! I don't think I'm the best person to seek advice from but I'll try my best to help! It gets a bit long under the cut, I'm sorry 😭

I have received a few hate comments in the past when I just started writing. Some of them were pretty traumatizing ngl and I had to take like a year break because of it 🥲 so I know how you feel and how upsetting it is. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, sweetheart 😭I'm sending you the biggest hug right now. Nobody in the world deserves a hate comment, especially when you're a writer/artist who creates stuff for free.

I just checked your blog to see the hate comment you were referring to (I hope you don't mind 😭) and I saw that some anon was mad because you wrote a smutty fic involving a character that's still a minor in canonverse.

Now, honey, I'm 10000000% on your side because a) it's your fic, your work, your blog, as long as you've put up some warnings, you can write whatever the hell you want. b) you've aged them up in your fics but even if you didn't age them up in your fics, that still doesn't make it okay for these people to be rude and attack you for it cause they're FICTIONAL. These characters are not real people with real life problems, they're literally just a bunch of drawings. That anon is spending their energy defending lines on paper and hurting a real person in the process.

Tbh I feel like this happens pretty often no matter what fandom you're in and I find it super weird that some people are actually upset about this. It's fiction! It's not real! And it's not like you support the stuff that's happening in the story! Like if you write about character A killing someone, it doesn't make you a murderer. It doesn't mean you support the act. If you write about incest, it doesn't mean you want to sleep with your dad or your brother. It's simply just for the plot, to make the story interesting. To share your ideas and be creative about it. And, the most important thing is, you're not forcing these people to read your fics, are you? They decided to read them on their own. And if you already wrote the warnings and they CHOSE to ignore them, that's their fault. It's like you see a bowl of hot peppers and you know they're spicy as hell but you choose to eat them anyway and when your tongue is on fire, you get angry "WHY IS THIS THING SO SPICY" like what????

A message for that anon: When you read stuff you don't like (stuff that someone wrote for FREE, stuff that someone spent hours or days creating it), the easiest thing you can do is just close the tab. Literally it takes zero energy to do it. Don't attack these writers with hate comments. Don't hurt their feelings. You don't know how hard they've worked on the story, their struggles in real life, or how insecure they are about their writing. One bad comment and they might stop writing forever, even when it's something that brought them comfort before. There are millions of other fics out there that you can read. Just scroll away and move on.

#stop! attacking! real! people! over! lines! on! paper!!!!!! #I don't get as many hate comments as I did in the past about my writing these days #they usually just call my writing mid but I know that already LOL #but I remember like a year and a half ago when a few anons bombarded my inbox #calling me names #saying that I'm stupid #some of them even told me to kill myself and that they'll r*pe my family #simply because I don't like AOT's ending and the fact that I prefer Erehisu than... that other ship that must not be named LMAO #it's insane how the internet makes it so easy for people to hurt strangers #“you don't think m****a is best girl??? DIE BITCH” #honey please i can get an eraser or a tipp-ex and turn your best girl into a dot #sit down child go drink your milk #anyway I didn't mean to make this about me sadlfjsdalkf I'm sorry 😭 #if you ever need someone to talk to I'll be here okay? #stay strong and take care love ❤️ #kana answers stuff

[papasmistakeria]

The Weezer fandom has to be the funniest bandom I've ever been in cause instead of fans writing RPF fanfictions about the lead singer and rhythm guitarist getting the sloppy toppy or stories about the most gut-wrenching plot featuring your faves in impossible situations that will end in the most beautiful gay romance between them (usually the lead singer and rhythm guitarist), we have whatever these things are

#weezer #weezer blue album #weezer memes #the blue album #get weezered #bandom #memes #papas mistakeria special #Yes I was talking about Frerard. But also Brivers to an extension #If I got a nickel for every bandom I've been in where the fans ship the frontman and rhythm guitarist I'd have 2 nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice #Anyways. Weezer fans please don't stop making these. This is much more interesting than any RPFs I've ever read #and I've grown out of RPFs

[anotherpapercut]

I love when I'm talking to someone and someone else who I don't know like that butts in to ask a really personal question that informs the conversation they are not a part of

#joked to a coworker that shes gonna get in trouble for breaking dress code and ahe asked abt my shirt #and i said i have a special exception and was gonna leave it at that and tell her abt it later when ppl werent around #and my fucking old supervisor who was literally demoted for being bad at their job goes 'whats your special exception' #first of all who was talking to you. not me #so i said i am disabled and constricting clothes cause discomfort and they said 'why don't you just buy plain shirts' #BITCH WHO ASKEDDDD. first of all they do not pay me enough for that second of all they should just comply with the fucking ada #so why are they interrupting my fucking conversation to ask about my clothes #im just too tired and frustrated and stressed for this. theyre lucky there were people around or i would've lost it probably #lol when an ex coworker decides its ok to share what you post on your personal blog with people you still work with #if any of you are looking at this post again stop. leave my blog. its incredibly inappropriate to share a private blog without permission #i don't tell anyone at work about my blog for a reason. this has been my blog/diary since i was 12 years old #i say things on here I wouldn't say irl because this is where i vent thoughts that are harsh. please respect my privacy #and stop fucking snooping on me. thanks. #and please do no not mention anything you saw here to anyone ever. including me.

[tofufei]

i need to be less into genshin impact. i have so many strong opinions on irrelevant stuff💀

#some people just say things man #stop giving advice on characters you don't own or don't rly know how to play #AYATO VAPE SUCKS STOP SUGGESTING AYATO VAPE #WANDERER CA SPAM IS BEST IN MOBBIN SCENARIOS. N2C IS BEST GENERAL COMBO BUT HIS ACTUAL BEST COMBOS INVOLVE DASH CANCELS #DW/GD DOMAIN IS ONLY RESIN EFFICIENT IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DAMAGE DEALERS USING THEIR BEST SETS #the only time it was ever resin efficient was before 3.3. ppl saying FLOP domain is resin inefficient don't know what they're talking about #RAIDEN IS NOT A GOOD HYPERCARYY WITHOUT C2 #PLEASE CONSIDER THAT PEOPLE SPEND 85%+ PERCENT OF THEIR TIME IN OVERWORLD AND NOT IN SPIRAL ABYSS #XIANGLING SUCKS IN OVERWORLD STOP SAYING SHE'S OP AND EVERYONE SHOULD BUILD HER #that's too much caps #staff of homa is overrated #nahida is overrated