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dumbassprotagonist · 1 year

Text

It's me, fucker.

2/11/18

Please, if you are not Bethany, don't read this. Or do I actually don't care that much.

Hey its me; you. But 5 years ago. Yes, this is 13 year old little fetus Bethany DeVito. I guess I'll start by refreshing your memory about what life was like back in the day. The latest events:

-people are eating tide pods. Yup.

- you realized only a few days ago that you are not bi, but a pure, 100% gay

- you still have those round glasses

-your ceiling currently has the northern hemisphere mapped out on it in glowing starts. It's pretty sick

-You're a fUCKING NERD but what's new

-you haven't moved in with dad just yet, but the custody battle will probably start soon. Mom still has no idea

-You're sons' first birthdays are next month

-ereri is life

- you cut that mole off two nights ago. Yup, that one.

- you got this idea from and Dan and Phil video

-as you type this, you are sick and want to fucking die

- you currently want to be a chemical engineer

- kaileigh still likes you

-You're in advanced art (and drawing Danny Devito as a project)

-Depression, Anxiety, and possible bpd. But the list goes on

-watsky.

-honestly you can go fuck yourself sideways with a stapler because you really are a little shit

-i don't care what you say, I am kin with waluigi

And that's the extent to which I'm willing to shower you in nostalgia that you never asked for. But now, it's time for you to answer some questions:

-do you eat anything but ramen?

-have you ever had a girlfriend? Do you have one now? Probably not but can't blame me for trying

-What fandom are you obsessed with right now? I know there's at least one

-are you still in marching band?

-did you make any new friends? Tbh probably not but whatever

-have the furries infiltrated the lgbt community yet? They've been trying for a while

-What's the deal with transracialism?

-have you come out to your parents yet?

-What's your favorite color right now?

-if you could give 13 year old you any advice right now, what would it be?

-how did WWIII go? I have to assume Trump started it

- what are your plans for college? Right now you want to go to MIT, even though you know it will never happen.

- is kaileigh still your best friend? Low-key wondering if she's still alive

-are your eyebrows still poppin?

-is gary the lemom still a very sour man?

-What's your relationship with your mom and Madeline?

-do you consider yourself Christian?

-read any great books lately? Describe them

-are you still a little sadistic fuck?

-are you still on prozac? Do you still get fucked up dreams?

-are you mentally stable yet because it's starting to get on my nerves

- is there any new slang that didn't exist in 2018?

-do you know any other languages?

- what is the most advanced piece of technology right now?

-did you ever find out your iq?

-anything new discovered about space?

-who was your first kiss?

- kaileigh asks: "Who’s the most important influence on you currently?"

-What's your cringiest moment so far?

-are you still into mbti?

-have you improved at all as an artist?

-did that mole grow back?

-have you gotten any better at taking care of yourself?

-any new mental illnesses to add to the collection?

-how was the ending of attack on titan?

-have you lost your virginity yet? Come on you're 18 Jesus christ

- What was it like being a mellophone section leader?

-did you ever take up piano again?

-do you finally have boobs? Please say you have at least a B.

-has your life become even remotely satisfying in these past five years? Hopefully.

I can't come up with any more questions at the moment. Hope you have a moderately successful adult life. Don't to drugs, always use peotection, and never pull out anal beads like you're revving a lawnmower. Peace, my good bitch. 👌

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