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#please someone stop me for real this time
milkteahood · 1 day
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together through it all
Simon Riley x fem!reader
Summary: being there for Simon during one of his many night terrors
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“No! No! Fuck no! Please… please not her. DON’T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME”
Sweat broke on Simon’s forehead as he jolted awake, gasping for air. Stumbling, almost as if running from something, he made it to the bathroom where he threw himself over the toilet, puking his guts out. His whole body was breaking in cold sweat, shaking, with a blurry vision.
He didn’t hear you come in and almost attacked you when you placed a hand on him. He stopped midway, eyes bloodshot, his body only shaking harder when he realized it was only you.
“Si? Baby, it’s ok” your soft voice echoed in his mind, hand running up and down his back as he started vomiting again.
It wasn’t the first time this happened. Simon had severe ptsd, and this reaction was nothing new. He tried to warn you, saying you wouldn’t be happy with him. To go find someone that can actually love you normally. But he didn’t get to decide for you. And over time you got better and better at helping him when needed.
“You’re ok Si” you spoke gently, using a towel to wipe the sweat off his face.
He didn’t respond, but when he finally looked up at you, his face was incredibly pale. His lips were losing color too, and his eyes were a little glossy. This panic attack was one of the worst you’d seen him have.
Your hands cupped his face, and without even realizing it, he leaned into your touch, almost to see if you were actually real.
“You’re ok now” you said. Again, he didn’t respond. His breathing was heavy, and he closed his eyes, leaning more into your touch.
You held him for a while, giving him time to relax. His head almost fell onto your chest and strong arms wrapped themselves around you. There was something different about all of it. The way he held you, as if he was almost afraid you would vanish into thin air.
“Do you feel alright enough to walk?” you asked, arms wrapped around his neck, holding his head close to your chest. He only nodded in response.
As you stood up, you gently helped him up too, using your body to support his.
Once you made it to the bedroom, he collapsed on the bed, but still refused to let go of you.
He didn’t speak, his body still slowly shaking as he buried his face deeper into your chest, taking in your scent, trying to convince himself you’re actually real. He’s not hallucinating. You’re indeed there, trying to wrap a blanket around him as he refuses to let you move.
Once the blanket was over both of you, you resumed your gentle touches, fingers running through his hair as his breathing was slowing. Your fingers worked like magic on him. Your patience, something he never saw himself worthy of. All the times he yelled at you during one of his episodes. And even now, he was about to attack you. He didn't understand why someone like you would put up with someone like him. He didn't deserve you, he was sure of that. But he will be damned before he lets anyone take you away from him.
“You’re ok now” you said again, kissing the top of his head “it’s just us here” you continued, nose nuzzling his hair.
He nodded, closing his eyes.
You only closed yours once you heard the soft snoring coming out of your lover’s mouth.
“I love you, Si” you said, earning yourself a little snore in return, which made you chuckle.
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I'm Not Like Everybody Else (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)
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Tag List: @mxxnmocha​ @madamevirgo @fl0ating @natasha-danvers @lesbian-x-blackwidow @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @summergeezburr @natashasfirefly @sighsam @nowthisisliving27 @captain-josslett @hcartbyheart​ @stop-drop-and-drumroll​ @tribblemakingalicorn @aaron-despair​ @becka107​ @peggycarter-steverogers​ @rooskaya-yelena​ @cpt-bolter​ @natashadeservedmore @indiavance555 @thewidowsghost @waltermis
Word Count:825
Natasha Romanoff POV
“I’m bored Tasha… spar with me?”
“No”
“Watch a movie with me?”
“No”
“But I’m boreddd Natasha… you need to entertain me!”
“Go annoy your girlfriend Yelena, I am not moving from this spot for the rest of today. It’s my only rest day I’ve had in the last 2 weeks so please just let me do nothing in peace.” I say to my frustrated sister, having just come back from back-to-back missions I am addiment on not moving for the duration of my day off today.
“ugh Kate Bishop is busy with old man Barton today and I really can’t be bothered to be nice to him at the moment, I have to much energy for that.” Yelena groans as she slumps down onto the sofa next to me, I can’t help smirking at the little nickname she has for Clint something that I will have to repeat back to him at some point.
I go to answer Yelena but the noise of the common room door opening and an unfamiliar female voice grabs my attention, both myself and Lena turn to face the newcomer who is walking beside a smiling Steve and once my eyes meet her e/c ones I instantly am blown away by her natural beauty.
“Hey Nat, Yelena, please meet our new team member Y/N L/N. She’s come highly recommended by Hill and Fury so please make her feel welcome” Steve informs us with a smile on his face, I hear Yelena introduce herself with a nice welcome but I am not paying attention to what she is saying instead I am taken back by the blinding smile that adorns our newcomers face.
“Hey L/N nice to meet you, looks like Thor has competition for being the best-looking Avenger” I finish my sentence with a cheeky wink, my smirk falls slightly when I notice that Y/n was not blushing like most women would and judging by the little chuckle coming from the annoying blonde next to me it seems Yelena has noticed that as well.
I watch as Y/n gives me a polite smile before being ushered out of the room by a talkative Steve, I follow the girl with my eyes and once she is out of my eye line, I turn to Yelena who seems to be dying of laughter.
“Oh my god! She didn’t even say anything! Wow Nat you seem to have lost your touch” I roll my eyes at the tease before punching my sister hard in the arm, grinning victoriously I turn and walk out of the room leaving my pouting sister all alone.
That first meeting was about 3 months ago and it’s safe to say my attempts at flirting with Y/n has not gone down well, I have been using my trademark Romanoff charm and all I get is a smile and a nod not someone who giggles and fawns over me like everyone else does and I have had enough!
I stomp to Y/n’s bedroom and after knocking on the door I am greeted with a warm smile, something that instantly makes me melt into a puddle. I gaze into her e/c eyes fully aware that I am sporting a dreamy smile but I couldn’t care less, I am happy to be in the presence of this goddess.
“Are you alright Natasha? You’ve not moved since I’ve opened the door?” A look of concern etched onto Y/n’s face as she softly speaks to me, I am snapped back into reality at her voice and not thinking I just go for it.
“Why don’t you respond to my flirting? I am trying my hardest to get you like me but you aren’t giving me anything! I am giving you the Black Widow treatment most people would kill for that!” I vomit out, I cringe to myself as I am speaking but I just can’t stop myself.
“I’m not like everyone else I don’t respond to flirting; I much prefer to spend time with a person and get to know them. I don’t want the Black Widow; I want to know the real Natasha Romanoff.” Y/n softly says making me nod along with her words, how dumb am I? why didn’t I think about this.
“I’m sorry Y/n I’ve spent my whole life around people who just want the Black Widow that I didn’t think some people would want to know Natasha instead. Can we start over? Hi my name is Natasha Romanoff” I say with a soft smile, I put my hand out in front of me and I squeal internally when I feel the soft hand of Y/n slip inside it.
“Nice to meet you Natasha, my name is Y/n L/n pleasure to make your acquaintance.”  Y/n softly tells me with a big smile on her face.
“Would you do me the honour of coming out to dinner with me tonight?”
“I couldn’t think of anything better Romanoff”
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bellaxgiornata · 3 days
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Acquaintances
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings/tags: 18+; bit of light angst, running into exes, brief fluff, and a hopeful ending
Summary: He was once the love of your life in college–someone you'd been planning a future with–but seeing him now, he felt just like a past acquaintance in a bar.
a/n: So the concept for this one shot was something that I'd written about back in a creative fiction writing course years ago and figured would be fun to rehash with Matt (who forced my hand with the hopeful ending). But that whole idea of knowing someone so intimately and then not knowing them at all is just...weird and relatable. Also, this is set more towards future Born Again era if you can't tell by all the facial hair. Feedback is always appreciated!
Matt Murdock one shot tag list: @pazii @shouldbestudying41 @kmc1989 @ebathory997 @mattkinsella @yeonalie @shiorimakibawrites @xxdrixx @wkndwlff @leikelle @pinkratts @lazyxsquirrel @1988-fiend @marvelcinematiquniverse @carstairswife @stilldreaming666 @kiwwia-wiwwia @willwork4dilfs @will-delete-this-later-probably @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @theetherealbloom @yarrystyleeza @dramaholic18 @ladywholikesreading @sleepysleepymom @tartbeanpuzzles @harleycao @sunflower-tia @gamingfeline @juskonutoh @kezibear @ninacotte
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“Ohh, wait,” Olivia said, catching your attention as she came to an abrupt stop. “What about this place?” 
Stopping on the sidewalk next to her, the city foot traffic began to stream around the pair of you. Your gaze followed her finger to the bar she was pointing at that you’d both stopped beside. ‘Josie’s’ was glaring back at you in red neon through the window. Taking a step closer to the glass, your feet unsteady in your heels from the couple of drinks you’d had earlier, you peered inside at the bar.
“Here?” you asked her skeptically.
You pulled a face at the dive bar before you, your eyes catching sight of the many gruff-looking men in cut-off shirts throwing back bottles of beer at the bar. The sound of rock music was noticeable even from your place on the sidewalk, and there was a sports game playing on the television that was hanging on the wall beside the bar. Despite you both living in Hell’s Kitchen, this place looked nothing like the usual bars the pair of you frequented to drink–certainly nothing like the bar the pair of you had just left.
Looking back over your shoulder, you raised a brow at your friend. “You want to go here ? I thought we were walking home.”
Olivia pouted back at you. “Oh come on, please?” she asked. “Live a little tonight. For me? Please just try something new? We can stop here for just one drink and then call it a night. For real, this time.”
Sighing, you threw your hands up in defeat. “Fine, if that’s what you want,” you relented. “It’s your promotion we’re celebrating. If you really want to finish your night out at a dive bar in Hell’s Kitchen, then I suppose I’ll support you.”
“Great!” she exclaimed.
Not waiting for you to rescind your answer, she excitedly grabbed you by the hand and tugged you forward towards the door of the bar. Throwing it open wide, Olivia sauntered inside on her heels as if she hadn't just finished throwing back shots at another bar a few blocks away. You stepped inside behind her, running a hand nervously through your hair as Olivia continued to drag you over towards the bar.
When the pair of you reached the counter, you squeezed between your friend and the back of a burly man. Eyeing the sticky bar counter, you very carefully rested your hands against it as beside you, Olivia caught the attention of the older woman tending the bar. You noticed she was also dressed in a cut-off shirt, a dirty towel slung over her shoulder and a frown on her face. As she made her way over, you could see the way she scrutinized the pair of you like you didn’t belong.
“Can I get you two something?” she asked roughly, resting both of her hands against the opposite side of the counter. 
“Do you have a wine list?” Olivia asked. 
The woman behind the bar shot her a flat look. “No, I don't,” she answered simply.
“Then we'll take two glasses of whatever red you have,” Olivia continued unphased, the wide smile still on her face. 
Wordlessly the woman turned away, grabbing two wine glasses and beginning to work on pouring your drinks. Shifting to the side, Olivia rested an elbow on the bar as she focused back on you, beginning to dig through her purse.
“A wine list, seriously?” you asked her, opening up your own purse. “Here?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Doesn't hurt to ask.”
“Right, well, I don't know what your intention with coming here was, but I doubt it'll be to experience a good merlot before we head home,” you teased. 
Olivia shrugged again, throwing some cash on the bar before you'd managed to dig it out of your own wallet. 
“My treat here, you've bought me enough drinks tonight,” she told you.
You opened your mouth to protest but were cut short by the surly bartender roughly setting two wine glasses onto the bar beside you. You shot her a friendly smile as you reached a hand out to grab the stem of one of the glasses, but the woman's expression still remained sour and unchanged.
“Enjoy,” she said flatly. 
Without another word, she grabbed the cash from the bar and turned, walking away to focus on another patron. Picking up your glass of wine, you exchanged a look with Olivia as she grabbed hers. 
“Such friendly service here at least,” Olivia joked.
You laughed, raising your glass out towards her. “Just remember this was your choice to come here,” you said. “But congratulations once again on the promotion. I know you heard that plenty when we were back drinking with everyone at Rosewood, but I'm proud of you. And I just want to add that I hope your wardrobe increases along with that new salary of yours because you deserve it.”
“Amen,” she replied with a grin, tapping her glass to yours.
You brought your glass up to your lips, drinking down some of the wine at the same time as Olivia beside you. Though it was bitter and unpleasant as it passed over your tongue and you pulled a face while reluctantly swallowing it down. Next to you, Olivia cringed as she set her own glass back onto the bar counter. 
“Well, it'll at least help get us drunk,” she muttered, making a face at the wine glass. “So there’s that.”
“Not exactly my goal tonight,” you reminded her.
“I'm still going to get you to relax one way or another tonight,” she said, pointing a finger at your chest. “But first, I might need to use the bathroom.”
Her eyes darted around the dimly lit bar as she began to search for the bathrooms. Slipping your phone out of your purse, you turned to face the bar counter more fully.
“I'll keep an eye on your drink then,” you told her.
She murmured a quick ‘thank you’ before slipping past you, making her way through the bar and towards the bathrooms. Unlocking your phone screen, you began to scroll through your work emails as you waited for her. Absently you picked up your glass of wine again, taking another sip. You immediately winced as the unpleasant taste hit your tongue once more and quickly set the glass back down, pushing it slightly away from yourself.
As you continued skimming through one of your messages while waiting for Olivia to return, someone roughly bumped into your elbow as they sidled up to the bar next to you. Your hands fumbled with your phone as it slipped momentarily out of your grasp. Hurriedly, you attempted to catch it before it could drop down onto the dirty floor.
“Shit, sorry,” the man beside you quickly apologized.
Finally getting a grasp on your phone, you glanced over at the man that had bumped into you, lips parting to say something back to him. But the sight of him caused you to pause, your mouth left hanging open. Something about him seemed oddly familiar as you stared at the side of his face. 
“Josie!” he called out, waving the surly bartender over and paying you no mind. “We need another pitcher of beer!”
“I'm not putting it on your nonexistent tab, Nelson,” she replied, picking up an empty pitcher. 
Nelson? Why had that name sounded familiar?
“Oh come on, we're your favorite patrons and you know it!” the man said.
The sight of the woman actually breaking into a smile as she began to fill the pitcher took you by surprise, briefly breaking through your attempt to wrack your partially inebriated mind for how you knew the man beside you. 
Brows drawing together as you glanced back down at your phone, you kept repeating the name ‘Nelson’ over and over in your mind. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the man look over his shoulder at you before focusing back on the bartender. But then you saw him quickly do a double-take, his attention fixing back on you. You frowned, now entirely positive you somehow knew each other.
“Holy shit,” he breathed out. Swiftly turning where he stood, the man faced you and said your name in something like shock. “Is it really you?”
Lowering your phone, you glanced back up at him. And then it fully hit you now that you weren't staring at his profile. Despite the hair he now wore cropped vastly shorter than back in college, the facial hair he’d clearly grown out, and the fact that he'd traded band shirts for a suit, you recognized him as Franklin Nelson–your college boyfriend's absolute best friend.
“Foggy?” you asked, surprised.
Josie set the pitcher of beer on the counter, her eyes dancing curiously between the pair of you. “You two know each other?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Foggy answered, a look of shock still on his face as he continued to stare at you. “We were close in college. She dated Matt for a long time. But I haven't seen you in years !” He reached a hand out, roughly clapping you on the shoulder. “How the hell have you been?”
“Uh, good,” you said, still surprised that you'd run into him. “How've you been doing?”
“Good, good. Believe it or not, Matt and I actually did it,” he told you excitedly. “We opened our own law firm!”
Brows rising up onto your forehead in surprise, you felt something stir in your chest at his name mentioned once more. It had been so long since you'd thought about him now. Even longer since you'd last seen him.
Matthew Murdock. You'd dated back when you'd both been going to Columbia. You’d both met in a philosophy class that you'd taken during your early college courses while working on your different degrees. The heated debates in class between you and Matt had led to discussions which had carried on outside of classes. And those had quickly devolved into grabbing drinks together while Matt openly flirted with you. Eventually the pair of you had begun to date, becoming nearly inseparable outside of classes. Until your graduation day, of course. 
Your breakup with Matt had been the hardest breakup you'd ever endured when things had finally ended. It had ultimately been a fairly amicable split despite the pain of the situation, though. But you'd never spoken to him after you graduated, even after sending him one final text a week later simply saying you were sorry. He'd never responded to that text.
“Oh, wow, that's impressive,” you said, trying to ignore the weird feeling suddenly stirring inside of you. “I'm surprised you guys actually did it. That’s–that’s great, really.”
“You know, you should actually come say hi,” Foggy told you, enthusiastically gesturing a thumb over his shoulder. “Matt's here, too.”
For a moment you stood there awkwardly, mouth opening and closing as you gaped at Foggy. That strange and unfamiliar feeling began to writhe in your gut, one you were sure had nothing to do with the terrible wine you'd just been drinking. The thought of seeing Matt again with the history you two had after all these years that had passed just felt…odd. 
“I'm sorry, is that weird?” Foggy asked when you hadn't responded. His nose scrunched up on his face as he nodded, studying the look on your own face. “Yeah, that's weird, isn't it? Who wants to see their ex, right?”
“I–”
“Hey, who's this?” Olivia asked, reappearing on the other side of Foggy and eyeing him curiously. “You make a new friend already while I was gone?”
Clearing your throat, you shook your head. “Actually, Liv, this is an old friend of mine from college,” you told her. 
“Oh my God, that’s right!” Olivia exclaimed, her eyes going wide. “You did go to college nearby!”
Foggy immediately turned towards Olivia, sticking his hand out towards her with a large smile on his face. “Foggy Nelson, nice to meet you,” he greeted her.
“Olivia Martinez,” she introduced herself, shaking his hand in return. “So I take it the pair of you were catching up?”
“Somewhat,” Foggy answered, watching as she grabbed her glass from off the bar beside you. “I'd actually just stuck my foot in my mouth asking if she wanted to go say hi to her college ex. I mean that’s weird, right?”
Olivia's eyes lit up at his words and your shoulders slumped at the sight. You knew where this was heading. 
“Your ex is here?” she asked curiously, eyes darting between you and Foggy. 
“Apparently so,” you answered awkwardly. “But look, we are here celebrating you and–”
“No, no, no!” she exclaimed, waving a hand at you. “I don't mind at all! We can go say hi if you want. I'd certainly love to meet your college friends. Maybe hear some embarrassing stories.”
You stood there, your heart speeding up in your chest nervously as both Foggy and Olivia continued to stare expectantly at you, waiting for a response. Mouth feeling dry, you reached your hand out and grabbed your glass of wine from off the counter beside you, forcing a smile onto your face.
“Okay, yeah, sure,” you replied. “I can–can go say hi, I guess.”
“Great!” Foggy exclaimed, reaching past you to grab the pitcher of beer Josie had set down a bit ago now. “You can meet our other firm partner, too. Karen Page. You’ll love her, I promise.”
You hummed out a noise in response, grateful Olivia was at least excitedly talking Foggy’s ear off as you began to follow behind him through the bar. Raising your wine glass to your lips as you walked, you drank a few deep gulps of it down and fought back your urge to gag at the taste. Seeing Matt again certainly hadn’t been on your agenda for the evening, and now you worried about how seeing him was going to make you feel with the way your body was already beginning to react at just the prospect of it. 
In your final year at Columbia, you swore Matt was going to be the one. You’d had plans to get an apartment together in Hell’s Kitchen after your graduation. Matt had even been the one to suggest the idea of moving in together, often talking about how excited he would be to finally have you all to himself, not having to worry about roommates and dorm room rules anymore. You’d grown excited at the idea too, already imagining how your lives would blend together as you both steadily found your place in the city. You’d even begun picturing marrying Matt–though you’d planned for that to be far later, years farther down the road still. Sometimes Matt himself seemed to even hint at your futures entwining together with how he talked about plans he was making. Everything had always sounded so perfect, feeling like both your lives were easily falling into place as if they were always meant to. 
For the duration of your senior year the pair of you had been planning everything out together, covering every detail as you both laid awake–sometimes in Matt’s dorm, sometimes in yours. You’d be wrapped around each other, hands clasped together, discussing everything from how you’d furnish the apartment, to dividing up chores, to future date plans when you both weren’t so broke. You’d both even talked about getting a cat, joking back and forth about names and never being able to agree on one. But the entire beautiful image the pair of you had been painting together had shattered to pieces when you’d been offered a job all the way out in Miami, Florida.  
There’d been a job fair shortly before graduation. A friend of yours had talked you into attending with her and you’d gone, hoping to line up a few prospects somewhere in the city and end up with something in order to afford the apartment you and Matt had both been hoping to get together. It was just because your friend had encouraged you that you’d done it, leaving your resume with a recruiter for a position that you knew was in Miami while knowing full well Matt had no interest in ever leaving Hell’s Kitchen. He’d told you countless times over the years that this city was his home. You honestly hadn’t expected a damn thing to come of it though, forgetting entirely about the job shortly afterwards. But a few days after the job fair you’d been asked for a phone interview and barely a day later you’d been offered the job. And it had been the only job offer you’d received.
You’d cried in your dorm for two nights straight, lying to Matt about why you couldn’t see him and telling him you’d felt sick. And truthfully you had felt sick to your stomach. Part of you was tempted to reject the offer, knowing at some point you could have found something in the city here and continued on the path you’d already planned out with Matt. But the certainty of a job and a salary with an amount you could barely fathom what to do with had you struggling to say no. The only thing holding you back from accepting it had been Matt. If you knew he’d have come with you to Miami, you’d have immediately taken the position.
Eventually through tears you’d told Matt what was going on and why you’d been avoiding him. How you’d been struggling back and forth with figuring out how to make the right decision on something so big. He’d been the one to solemnly take your hands in his and insist that you take the job, telling you it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He promised the pair of you would figure things out, maybe manage something long distance for a brief bit while he finished his law degree. But as the final weeks passed for you at Columbia, things had grown tense between you two. And after graduation, you’d come to the heartbreaking decision to end things with him, not knowing how a long distance relationship would work with the way things had already started to fall apart. Still dressed in your powder blue cap and gown, you broke down on campus amidst all the other excited students as you ended the years long relationship with Matt. You’d both sat together on Columbia’s lawn for an hour afterwards, crying and holding each other as you said your goodbyes.
And that had been the last time you’d ever seen Matt.
Until right this very moment as you approached the table he was sitting at, Foggy and Olivia walking a few steps ahead of you. Matt was sitting beside a pretty blonde, the pair of them laughing lightly with each other. For the briefest moment your feet faltered on the sticky bar floor as your heart nearly lurched straight out of your throat at the sight of him. He’d certainly changed over the years, but you could still tell it was Matt beneath those red glasses, that dark beard, and the crisp navy suit. 
But at the same time, it was difficult marrying the image of the man sitting right there with the same one you’d known all those years ago. Gone was the fresh shaven face and his black, rectangular glasses you’d always known. The hands that were currently holding an almost empty glass of beer might have been the same hands that had once tenderly held you all those years ago on the night you’d lost your virginity to him. They might have once been hands that had carefully and gently loved you, hands that had held yours and comforted you, but now they were attached to a man you didn’t even know anymore. 
The feeling that washed over you as Foggy greeted the table was impossible to capture into words. It was something that felt jarring and unsettling as you stared at him. Years ago you’d planned to have a future with him, but looking at him now, he felt almost like an acquaintance you barely knew despite the intimate past you both shared. 
Your hands tightened around the stem of your wine glass, your pulse racing as you mentally kicked yourself for agreeing to come say hello to him. He was practically a stranger to you now, both of you having lived entirely separate lives for longer than you’d even been together. What were you even supposed to say to him? He couldn’t possibly care about catching up with his college ex. 
“Matt, you are not going to believe who I ran into at the bar!” Foggy exclaimed.
You continued standing just a step behind Olivia as if you could somehow hide behind her. But as Matt’s head tilted curiously to the side–an adorable habit of his you were surprised to see he still did–the blonde at the table focused her eyes past Olivia and on you. She shot you a warm and friendly smile as if she could see the nerves written on your face, but the sight of it did nothing to slow the frantic pounding of your heart. You felt like you were going to be sick as Olivia continued to stand there, openly gawking at Matt.
“Who?” Matt asked curiously, a crease forming between his brows.
Foggy said your name and you watched as recognition gradually dawned across Matt’s face. It suddenly felt like the bar was closing in on you, both of your hands growing damp against the wine glass you were clutching.
“Wait, she’s here?” Matt asked next, shock evident in his tone. “Here in Hell’s Kitchen?”
“Yeah, buddy, I was just as surprised as you are! I told her she should come say hi because it’s been so damn long,” Foggy answered before glancing back at you, a bright smile on his face.
Thankfully Olivia spoke up first, giving you a chance to find your voice as you stood there, your eyes roving over Matt’s face. There was something strange in the way that it was familiar yet so changed. And in the years since you’d last seen him, he’d only grown more handsome.
“Wait, that’s your ex?” Olivia said, gesturing a hand towards Matt. “You mean to tell me you two dated in college?”
Tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, you nodded slightly. “Yeah,” you answered, your voice sounding a little off. “For a few years.”
Matt’s gaze immediately landed on you when you’d spoken, his brows twitching faintly above his glasses. It was hard to read the expression on his face with the way they were covering his eyes. Eyes that you’d always thought were so beautiful and expressive, whether it was when he was arguing with you in an impassioned, philosophical debate, or fondly focused on you as he confessed that he was in love with you. 
“I thought you were in Miami?” Matt questioned.
Swallowing hard, you tried to keep your trembling knees from giving out beneath you under the heavy weight of his sightless stare. How was seeing him again after all of these years having such an effect on you? 
“Yeah, I was,” you answered, aware of three other sets of eyes curiously darting between the pair of you. “Until almost a year ago. I was looking for a change and missing the city. Grew tired of the humidity and hurricanes, too,” you lightly joked.
A faint smile tugged the corner of Matt’s mouth upwards, your gaze dropping towards the movement. It was once the same mouth you’d kissed so many times before without even thinking about it. A mouth that had spoken so many encouragements and declarations of love to you, but also one that had told you jokes and brought you pleasure in ways that no other mouth ever had since. It was both familiar and not all at once.
“So you came back?” Matt asked.
  “I came back,” you repeated softly. “Suppose it’s no surprise you’re still in Hell’s Kitchen though.”
He shot you a small smile as he nodded his head. “I never could manage to leave it,” he told you.
For a moment the pair of you stood there, eyeing each other wordlessly in your own ways as the sound of the bar filled the growing silence. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Olivia watching you curiously, swirling her wine in her glass. To your left, you could see a smile gradually spreading across Foggy’s face before he glanced over at the blonde.
“Who says we pull up two more chairs?” Foggy suggested, loudly breaking the lull in conversation. “We can all get to know each other! Get reacquainted again and catch up!”
“I think that sounds like a great idea,” the blonde replied, that friendly smile never leaving her face.
“I agree,” Matt said, still focused on you.
Glancing over at Olivia, you saw the mischievous grin growing on her face. She gave you a slight nod of encouragement, her eyes pointedly telling you to say yes. Nervously biting your lip, you glanced back over at Foggy.
“Yeah,” you agreed. “That sounds good.”
Foggy beamed back at you before he turned, grabbing two more chairs from a nearby table and drawing them over to where the others were sitting. The blonde slid over to make room at the table, introducing herself as Karen as she did. Olivia was fast to introduce herself to the group, quickly making herself comfortable in a chair. 
Hesitantly you made your way over to the table, sitting down in the last open seat which was on Matt’s left. Setting your glass of wine onto the table, you slowly lowered yourself into the chair beside him. Matt immediately focused his attention on you and you ducked your head, feeling even more nervous sitting beside him after all of these years. 
“Hey,” he greeted you softly.
“Hey,” you greeted just as quietly back.
“It’s been awhile,” he said.
“Yeah,” you agreed, glancing up at him from beneath your lashes. “Quite a few years.”
“Guess that means we have some catching up to do,” he told you, a smile gradually growing on his face.
Your eyes spotted the lone dimple of his; it was just barely visible beneath his dark beard, but it was there. Some other feeling began to gradually fill you at the sight of it, this one warm and familiar in comparison to the way you'd first felt when you’d spotted him sitting at the table. You always had loved that lone dimple. 
“Yeah, I guess that does,” you replied, gradually smiling back at him.
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icyg4l · 2 days
Text
PAC: What Do You Need to Know About Your Love Life Right Now?
Hello beautiful people. The topic of today's reading will be about love! This is my first PAC love reading that is features photos of the Queen of Love Songs herself, cause why not? I try to vary in topics so that I can deliver diversity amongst my reading topics. I do offer personal love readings as well as financial, career, education, general and readings about the other relationships in your life. Without further ado, please choose the image of Beyoncé that resonates with you that resonates with you.
Top Left-to-Bottom Right (1-4):
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Pile 1: Pile One, you’re down bad, girl! I feel like this pile is in a monogamous relationship right now and you may be scared of what is to come. I feel like this relationship is new. This could be your first serious relationship that you’ve been in. And because of this, you feel afraid to mess anything up. Basically, you have high standards for this and don’t want it to end. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. It’s common. But you need to be exerting this passionate energy into other things as well. Your relationship will only fail if you stop putting effort into it. So please… relax. Also, please stop letting any other failed attempts of relationships that you’ve had in the past affect your future. I don’t know why you let this happen but you are not the same person you were then. You have different boundaries and a different sense of self so please go easy on yourself, my love! You are not going to fail, boo. Just keep on moving with your boo! And lastly, ease into this whole exclusivity thing. Don’t rush it. You don’t have to expose your relationship to the public just yet. Do everything when your body feels it is right.
Cards Used: Temperance, Ace of Cups, Ace of Discs, 2 of Swords, Princess of Wands, 6 of Discs, 5 of Cups.
extras: dramatic. singer-songwriter. poet. dimples. big curly hair. big heart.
Pile 2: Pile Two, you’re quite the cocky one, aren’t you? I feel like this pile is someone that’s really guarded with their heart. You don’t seem to be easily trusting of others in general. I think you’re really focused on making stuff happen in terms of climbing the social ladder and congratulations to you! I feel like you have been tending to yourself, which is great. I’m sensing the energy of an ex. You let go of this crappy ex and everything has gotten significantly better. I’m getting big air sign energy from this pile, some real brainiacs are here lol. I feel like you should continue to focus on pursuing your personal goals and someone needs to here this: Go get your toes done! You’ve been doing an excellent job of calling the shots and exercising your throat chakra. You are not obligated to stay in anyone’s life in order to help them get their shit together so if someone makes you feel guilty for doing so, then fuck them! Pile Two, you owe yourself loyalty for sure. Please give it to yourself. Be generous towards yourself.
Cards Used: 6 of Wands, The Magician, 5 of Wands, 8 of Cups, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Justice.
extras: megan thee stallion. rapper. un poco loco. ashley tisdale. donuts.
Pile 3: Pile Three, are you ready? I feel like you’ve been holding onto this very specific arrangement of love. You want to experience the magic of it all. However, it’s been a minute since you’ve been on the scene. I am getting some inexperience here. Maybe you’ve never really dated like that to begin with or it’s been a minute since you’ve gotten out there. I feel like there is actually someone on the horizon that you will come across. This could be someone that you work with or someone that you are already acquainted with. I think that this person would want to take you out on dates and do things the old fashioned way. They would be willing to do whatever you’d like but at the same time, they will take the lead. But in order for this, you have to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It’s possible that you could also be divorced/widowed/distrusting of the dating scene (that’s completely understandable). But you need to listen to your gut, Pile Three. You will attract your person by keeping that vision pinned in the back of your mind, and I mean it.
Cards Used: 4 of Discs, The Lovers, The Chariot, 3 of Discs, The Hermit, 9 of DIscs.
extras: fresh prince of bel air. melanie barnett/”med school.” peaches. lint. seamstress.
Pile Four, someone’s getting some good good, but at what cost? Being in a sexual relationship with someone who does not share the same end goal as you is not as fun as you’ve been describing it. It was fun at first, but you know you want something more. So, why deny yourself the love that you want? I feel like you are putting in more energy than this person because you want something serious with them but you are not getting anything in return. Now you just feel drained and that sucks. You need to gather the strength to move past this person and put your sacral energy into something that matters. You will only continue to be disappointed because it is a one-sided connection. That person is stealing your energy whether you want to hear it or not. If you want better/more, then act like it. Know your worth, babe! There’s plenty of fish in the sea and there is plenty of fish that would want to wife you up.
Cards Used: The Devil, 9 of Cups, Princess of Cups, 8 of Wands, King of Wands, 4 of Cups, Strength, 5 of Discs, Prince of Discs.
extras: doormat. bald head. venus in the 12th house. argentina. frankenstein. black and white. southern belle. drones. washington d.c.
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miniwheat77 · 3 days
Text
You shouldn’t kiss me like this. (Ghost x Reader.)
!nsfw, smut, unprotected p in v sex, cheating, Ghost manipulates reader, coercion, non con just in case, NO MINORS!
The title is a song from Toby, was kinda my inspiration, RIP❤️
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The day Ghost met you, he knew you were his.
He got close with you immediately, and you spent all day every day around each other and Captain Price knew better than to separate the both of you on missions. Ghost wanted to be near you all the time and while Captain Price thought it was a little odd, he just figured Ghost was overprotective.
Nobody knew Ghosts real intentions, and when he found out you had a boyfriend, it felt like someone tore a hole in his chest.
But that didn’t stop him. He knew you were his and he knew he’d do anything for that to happen. Anything.
The closer you got, the more touchy he was. It was friendly, he always made sure it was friendly. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable and scare you off because he knew how affectionate he so desperately wanted to be. So he did the bare minimum. He moved your hair out of your face, he’d touch your shoulders, wrap his hand around your back when he was leading you somewhere. He did everything, he wanted you to know how good he could treat you. So much better than your boyfriend ever could.
One night, he made a mistake.
You looked so pretty, you were up late with him. He was in your room and he was cracking jokes and you were laughing. Something he wanted to hear every single second of every day.
He kissed you.
You mistakenly kissed him back, before pulling yourself away from him. You started to panic because you have a boyfriend and you couldn’t do that to him. Ghost ended up leaving and you were stressed out.
He apologized to you the next day, said he didn’t know what had gotten into him and you were cold for weeks afterward. Ghost nearly went crazy. Johnny even caught him tearing apart his room when nobody else was around. He wouldn’t tell Johnny why but the sudden separation between the both of you told him everything he needed to know. This is where Johnny knew a serious talk needed to happen.
He didn’t hesitate to tell Ghost everything he needed to hear, he knew he didn’t want to. But he had to. He explained that his behavior was obsessive and dangerous and that he knew he likes you, but he needed to calm down. If he couldn’t keep his cool over something like this, he shouldn’t be around you. And while Ghost understood, he couldn’t help himself. You were his, not that stupid boyfriend of yours. He could show you, he will. Ghost even had your boyfriend’s location pin pointed on a map, he’d have you.
By any means necessary.
Of course he didn’t want it to come to that. It was his last resort. But he was willing to do anything.
You were distant after and he was already going to lose you. He could feel it deep down, he crossed a path he couldn’t come back from. There was no going back now. So late at night, his boots still clad on his feet, he made his way to your room.
He made sure to walk quietly, he didn’t want anyone to know it was him. He didn’t want anyone to know where he was going, what he was going to do. He opens up your door, you’re half asleep, perking up when your door opens. “Ghost?” You ask tiredly, clicking on your lamp. You’re rubbing your eyes and his heart aches in his chest. You look so pretty when you’re like this. He adores waking you in the morning because of your tired eyes and how warm and comfortable you are. He can’t stand another day of this. Not one more.
“Y/N.” He sighs. He closes your door behind him, stepping inside. “I.. I need to know.” He sits on the edge of your bed, lifting your hand into his. “Did you feel anything when I kissed you?” He asks you. “Ghost-“
“Please… just be honest.” His eyes glow under the moonlight. Tears gathering at his waterline.
Of course, you don’t know that they’re fake. Crocodile tears.
“Ghost.. I can’t do this with you. I have a boyfriend.” You go to move, but he stops you. “That means nothing to me, darling. Y/N.. I love you. I know that I said it was an accident. But it wasn’t. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I think you’re so pretty, so fucking amazing.” He sucks in a sharp breath. Hating that the tears are becoming real now. How fucking weak he looks in front of you, how dare you open him up like this and reject him.
He swallows hard, trying to stop the cries seeping from his throat. “Just listen to me..” he breathes. “I can take care of you.”
“I… I did feel something when I kissed you. But you and I both know that I have a boyfriend and I can’t be acting a fool with you when I’m still with him.” You look up at him. “It’s not fair, and you know that Ghost. I’m not a cheater.”
“Than why’d you kiss me back?”
You clench your eyes closed. He knows why.
Because you’re overwhelmed, have feelings that you can’t change or fight off. He knows you like him too, he needs your boyfriend gone.
Suddenly, something comes to mind.
“You’ve opened up to me. About him.” Ghost mumbles. “You said that he’s being distant. That he’s got some friends he’s going out with and not messaging you back.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not normal Y/N. He.. please just look into it. I care about you.” He sighs.
“You’re just saying that..” you sigh. “It’s only.. what? 4pm on the west coast? Call him Y/N.”
“Ghost, you’re acting really weird. I’ll call him when I’m up.” Ghost shakes his head, he can’t do it.
He forces himself into you, smashing his lips to yours and you try to force him off but he’s not letting go this time. He keeps you close, moving his lips with yours. He straddles you and eventually, you give in.
“Ghos- plea-“
“Simon!” You shove him back. “I was going to do it when I went home okay!” He freezes up at your use of his name.
You barely get the words out before he can kiss you again. He looks shocked. “I.. I was going to when I got home from deployment.” You clench your eyes shut. “What?”
“I was going to cut things off with him. When it was fair. I’m not a cheater, Simon.”
He sighs. He can’t help but feel like this is you just saying this, to get him away from you. “I want this, I do. But it’s wrong. You wouldn’t want this done to you.” You sigh. “Okay.. okay Y/N.” He stands up.
“I’ll leave you alone.” He sighs. “But.. I want you to know.” He pauses just before he grasps the door handle. “I would do anything for you. I think you’re the most beautiful, kind, loving girl. You are perfect in every single way, and nothing will change that.” He breathes, stepping outside. He closes the door behind himself. You sigh. Seeing your phone sitting on your nightstand. You pick it up, he’s right. It’s only about 4pm where he’s at.
You open up your conversation, seeing plenty of sent messages and none in return. Ghost is right, he’s been acting weird. You said so yourself. You breathe. Fingers typing across the screen before you can stop yourself.
We need to talk.
After all of those messages, of course this is the one he responds to.
What’s going on?
You breathe out. You hate this. You hate this more than anything.
I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me.
He hesitates for a second. The chat bubble appears and disappears a couple of times before you finally get a message back.
Okay.
Is there someone else?
Again, the bubble appears and disappears a few times. A few minutes go by.
Y/N…
Please. Just be honest.
You clench your eyes shut, you don’t know if you should feel relieved or sad.
I’m sorry.
Why didn’t you tell me?
I wanted to wait until you got back from deployment. When it was fair.
Seeing as those same words left your lips, you want to scream.
I have to sleep now, we’ll talk about this tomorrow. But this is officially the end of us.
I love you. I always will.
Goodnight.
You set your phone down and stand up. Marching right out your door to go to his room. You barge right inside and you startle him completely, he doesn’t even have his mask on. “Y/N- Jesus Christ.” He spins around. His back to you. The only thing he has on are his jeans. No shirt, no boots. No mask. Just bare Simon.
You wrap your hand around his torso and force him to look at you. Planting your lips right into his. He kisses you back but knows, he can’t.
He pushes you back. “Y/N- you were right okay? You shouldn’t kiss me like this.” He sighs. He’s staring down at you. “I wouldn’t want you doing this to me so you’re right..” he sighs. And just as Simon is having his come to Jesus moment.
“He’s been seeing someone else, just shut up and kiss me Riley.”
Hearing those words leave your lips, finally. Blood seeming to stop right in his veins. Heart hesitating before it takes its next beat. You’re his.
He does. He kisses you again, lifting you up and letting you wrap your legs around his waist and laying you down on his bed, going to stake his claim. You’re his, you’ve always been his and he’ll show you. He’ll do whatever it takes.
He pulls away for just a second to tug his jeans down, you’re pushing your shorts down. Desperate to feel him.
His tip is nudging at your entrance and he kisses you, swallowing up your moan as he sinks inside of you. Filling you up. It’s been months since you’ve been touched like this. Years since it’s felt as good as he feels now. To be with someone who wants you, who’ll do anything for you. You cry into his lips but it’s muffled, he’s probably more rough than he intends but he can’t help himself. He needs this, he needs you. He drives himself into you until you’ve got tears bordering your waterline, how the hell you managed to wait this long with someone like Simon at your door at every beck and call. Looking back now, it was over from the start. A neglectful boyfriend and a man who’ll worship the ground you walk on, it was doomed.
Simon knew it from the beginning, the tightness of you around him, finally giving into him. It’s bittersweet and he relishes in the way you feel around him. He’s going to cherish you, and he’s going to make sure you’re his forever no matter what the cost. He lowers one of his hands, pulling back to look at you. He takes a second to really take you in, lips parted. Your cheeks are flushed and you’re panting. Soaking wet around him.
He rubs circles into your clit with his fingers, not applying too much pressure but just enough until you’re melting into him completely. He works his hips into yours, gliding between your walls perfectly, working the best orgasm you’re sure you’ll ever have out of you. It’s desperate and it’s sloppy, but neither of you care. You need this, you’ve needed this for months. “Fuck.. you feel so good Y/N.” He whines. You raise your hands up to cup his face, pulling him down into you again. “You feel good too Simon, so good.” You hiss. This is the first time you’ve gotten a good like at Simon with his mask off. His skin is clear and he’s got stubble filling out his jawline. His eyes are piercing and he’s stunning. You pull him in to kiss you again.
You can feel your thighs starting to shake and his thrusts are getting sloppy and desperate. You’re both so close to the edge.
“Cum with me.” His voice is almost at a whisper.
The knot unravels and he kisses you again just as you go to cry out, he groans into the kiss. It drowns out the sounds from the both of you. He rides our your high, taking a few extra thrusts to staple it what he wants. Filling you up to the hilt. He doesn’t care about the consequences anymore, he doesn’t care what happens now, now that you’re with him.
He rests his forehead on your chest. Fucked out and exhausted. The stress of this morning and you avoiding him long gone. He didn’t expect this.
“I’m sorry about your boyfriend, Y/N.”
You snort at him. “Are you though?“
“I’m sorry that he hurt you.”
You roll your eyes. “I think we both know by meeting you, we were doomed from the start.”
He laughs at this. “Maybe you’re right, but I’ve got you now. And I won’t take advantage of that. As long as you’re with me, you’ll always be safe. And I swear I’ll take care of you, no matter the cost.” He breathes. “Even if you don’t want it.” You can’t help but smile. Pulling him into you, hugging him close to you.
Maybe this is everything you’ve been looking for.
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Text
Their Favorite Distraction
Overlord!HuskerDust x Male Reader
Headcanons
TW:KINDA SPICY- SO 18+ PLEASE AND THANK YOU
A/N: Listen I saw Overlord Husk and Overlord Angeldust and thought why not put them together???? Listen, I am a simple man..who simps way too much.
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Let me set the scene real quickly, maybe you were a sinner or demon down on your luck and wanted to try your hand at gambling or you simply walked in at the wrong time. But once you got your hand into the gambling ring that’s when Husk had set his sight on you, whilst you were soaring with money lining your pockets. Going table to table, lady luck surprisingly on your side as you had started to get hopeful and maybe you’d be able to pay off your necessities for a few weeks with this type of cash. But you didn’t notice how both Husk and Angel Dust were watching, in hindsight you should’ve just stopped there and left with the prize but god the adrenaline felt so good and what could another game hurt?
A lot apparently, now you were sitting at Husk’s table, Angel Dust standing behind him watching you with a devious little smirk. You should’ve taken your winnings and left. But then..you wouldn’t have ended up with two very overprotective Overlord Boyfriends who adore you so.
-🎰 Like I said- both are very overprotective of you! But in a good way, not in the gross toxic way.
-🕷️ Oh they love to spoil your ass all the time, you look at something on your phone for too long or when your out and about with them? Expect it on your bed or at your door in a couple hours.
-🎰 Sit on their laps while they work? Yes please. Try sitting anywhere else they get pouty and grumpy, your seat is on their lap. 
-🕷️ Want a new suit? Done, lean more feminine cause clothes have no gender? Also done. They praise you all the time.
-🎰 Most people think that these men are your sugar daddies, which in some way and how they spend money on you all the time..they wouldn’t be wrong. But no they are your very powerful and loving boyfriends.
-🕷️ They both own a lot of souls and know that they do but they don’t own your soul. They’d tear each other apart if they found that out and Satan forbid if another Overlord tried to get their disgusting hands on you and tried to own your soul..that Overlord is triple dead.
-🕷️ Husk? Loves when you and Angel blow on his dice before anything, you both are his good luck charms. You decide to play a game? Angel is beside you the whole time making sure no one cheats or gets too rowdy around you, someone pulls a gun? Husk is already on them, fangs and claws out. While Angel keeps you close. You get to decide the fool's fate.
-🎰 In Private? These two are the most cuddliest people ever. Laying on the couch watching your favorite show? Now you have two overlords cuddling you. Or maybe you're making a snack alone, not anymore, Husk is hugging you from behind and grumbling about something.
-🕷️ Oh boy the kisses? There is an endless supply of them anywhere you are. In Husk’s casino with him? Give him a goodluck kiss. With Angel in his office as he looks over papers? Sit in his lap and kiss his cheek, the stress immediately evaporates.
-🎰 Add little accessories that represent them? Maybe have spades embroidered on your suit jacket or have custom made jewelry that looks like a spider? Oh boy, their hands won’t leave you alone. Constantly touching your suit jacket or jewelry as they do their business. 
-🕷️ Date nights are so fun with these two, they take you to clubs or very expensive restaurants or maybe you want to stay home or go out to the closest bar? Whatever you want, babycakes. 
-🎰 If you get a little too drunk? They’ll pull you into their lap and kiss at your reddened face whilst they take your drink away. They don’t need you feeling like shit in the mornin’ especially if your busy the next day.
NSFW GET OUT OF HERE MINORS
-🕷️ Both dominate men, so good luck. Especially if you’ve teased them too much.
-🎰 Husk? Is shameless and will take you anywhere he can get you. In his casino? In his office or in the closest bathroom. He’ll have you bent over and screaming his name for everyone in his Casino to hear. To know who you belong too.
-🕷️ Angel Dust? He’s more of the one to fuck you somewhere private. Not because he doesn’t want to show how good he pleases you but that’s his sight to see and he wants to ruin you (in a good way). He’s also the kinkiest out of the two still.
-🎰When they both get together? Oh you’re done for my good man. They won’t let you go until the morning and your passed out from being fucked all night long. 
-🕷️ Aftercare Kings, doesn’t matter what kind of aftercare you want to them. Just want to lay down and cuddle? One of them is holding you close while the other is getting water and some snacks. Want a nice bath? They got a big tub for a reason, Handsome~
-🎰 When you eventually can’t walk or get out of bed? Both men are smug as hell as you glare at them. 
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mariinaworld · 2 days
Text
It was supposed to be her Part.2
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Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader
Warning: fluff/angst
WC: +1,4
(English is not my first language so I apologize for any spelling mistakes)
A/n: Sorry this took a long time to come out😩
Summary: You realize you can't get married, not while you're still in love with your ex, Natasha Romanoff.
Masterlist Part.1
Don't you know how long you've been sitting at your kitchen counter, an hour? No, maybe two. To say that meeting with Natasha didn't move you would be a lie.
You can't stop thinking about the redhead, every moment, the kisses, the heated nights full of desires. Desires that were thrown away by her. She didn't care about her feelings when it was over with everything, so why do you feel so uncomfortable with your words that night?
Maybe it's because you wanted to say that you still loved her, that you still thought about her every time you were with your fiancé. That you still wanted her and damn, you get real.
You can't get married. Not with him.
Ryan has always been a caring man, he has always been respectful and kind, maybe something about him made you settle into stable love, but you don't love him, not like you love Natasha.
Canceling a wedding with just three days left seems crazy, but his story with the redhead has never been relatively normal.
Your thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock on your door, for a second you imagine Natasha on the other side, waiting for you, but your expectations are broken by the voice of the only person that you didn't want to find now.
Ryan.
“Baby? Please open the door, I know you're home." Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath you know you need to face it, Ryan is a good man and doesn't deserve to be with someone who loves someone else.
You take heavy steps towards the door, just wanting time to stop.When you open the door you look at him determined to put an end to it, Ryan deserved more and you couldn't give him that.
When he moves forward to give you a kiss you instantly turn your face away, he frowns, clearly confused, again he moves forward wanting to enter your apartment But again you stop him, there's no point in dragging this out, you don't want to give him any ray of hope, no matter how much it hurts you, you need to make him understand that there's no going back.
“What happened darling?" He asks, clearly upset and all you can do is hang your head, your eyes are burning and all you want is to cry.
“I can't go on with this" you say, still with your head down, a few lonely tears coming out of your eyes. "What?" Ryan asks confused.
“I said I can't go on with this. I can't go on with you" you say finally raising your head and looking at him. “Why?" That's all he asks I can see his disappointed look and I feel worse knowing it's because of me. "I don't love you, you deserve more than someone who doesn't love you.” You say trying to sound sure of your words but the tears falling down your cheeks don't help.
He just shakes his head, his eyes full of tears, something inside him always knew that you didn't love him, but he needed to clear up a doubt. "There's someone, right?" You look at him with pity and after a few seconds you shake your head positively, you don't trust your voice to say anything else.
And with that Ryan leaves you alone at that door, the weight of everything hits you again, there will be no wedding, you lost a great friend and everything for Natasha, but everything was always for her.
You enter your apartment again, planning to cry for the next three days and drown in the consequences of your terrible life decisions.
As planned, you spent three days regretting your life and your bad decisions, Wanda even came wanting to help you and make you cheer up but she couldn't.
Now you're sitting on your bed, with a tub of ice cream on your lap watching La La Land in a sweatshirt that's too big for you, but it was Natasha's so that's what you needed to wear.
You've often thought about calling the redhead, saying you're not going to get married and giving her another chance, but you've always been a coward, you just hope that fate will somehow resolve this for you.
You hear a knock on the front door and you ignore it thinking that if it's Wanda she'll probably open it herself, but the knocking started to get more frantic and you could kill Wanda for making you interrupt your movie.
You walk to the front door wearing shorts that are too small for you and a sweatshirt that Natasha left behind.
“Wanda, can't you open the door by yourself?" You say, opening the door and coming face to face with someone who wasn't the witch.
Natasha.
You are speechless, the redhead is standing in front of you with her chest rising and falling frantically as if she had run here, she looked beautiful, with black pants, a leather jacket, her hair tied into a braid, she looked as beautiful as the first time you two saw each other.
Before you could say anything the redhead immediately grabs you in a hug, she wraps her arms around your waist and hides her face in the crook of your neck, everything she does leaves you completely unresponsive, until you wrap your arms around her trying to give her some comfort, you could never deny her that. After a few minutes Natasha decides to speak
“You can't marry him, I know I'm the one who ended everything and I can't ask that of you, but I still love you and I can make you happy" You freeze, you didn't expect that, You broke up with Ryan for her and now you can't say anything?
The words disappear from your mouth and every second of silence kills Natasha's hopes, she came to you with one hope, that you still love her and give her another chance, That saying in the coffee shop made her realize that there was no way she would see you marrying someone else, it would kill her inside and she would have to fight for you, for your love again
And that's why she came to your door, a last attempt to make you give up everything for her, it may be a selfish desire on her part but she can't help it, nothing in your relationship with her it was normal.
Natasha realizes that maybe your silence is already an answer, that you are really going to get married and she was too late. Natasha slowly frees herself from you, already accepting defeat. Until you finally react and do the one thing you've been thinking about since you ran into her at the coffee shop.
A kiss.
You quickly grab the redhead's face and kisses you, a kiss full of longing and all the unspoken feelings for you. It takes Natasha a few seconds to return the kiss and when she does, it's as if the entire universe stops around you. Natasha deepens the kiss, running her tongue along your lower lip asking for passage, and all you do is melt in her arms like you did on so many nights of love with her.
When air became necessary, Natasha breaks the kiss but her hands are still wrapped around you, you don't say anything, you just look at each other and start laughing, there was nothing so funny, but something how familiar the kiss was, as if you had only been two hours without seeing each other and everything seemed as if nothing had happened between the two of you.
“I think I ruined your wedding" Natasha says still laughing at you. You just shake your head and put your hands on the back of the redhead's head, playing with her hair, the familiarity of it all making you let out a weak laugh.
“She's already ruined, I'm not getting married Nat, that night made me realize that all this wouldn't make sense if it weren't for you, I could never marry someone other than you." You say, feeling Natasha becoming more and more emotional
“I shouldn't have left that night without telling you I loved you, I let you go and now you could be married to someone else, I wouldn't stand for that Detka.” The redhead says hugging you again
“Let's try again Nat, no lies, let's make it work this time ok?" Natasha immediately shakes her head, she would do anything for you.
“I love you Detka, I don't want to lose you again." Natasha says looking into her eyes and you can see she is about to cry.
“You'll never lose me Nat, it's always been you.”
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skzpvol · 14 hours
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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ THE BRIGHTEST STAR - bang chan ࿐ྂ
pairing: nonidol!bang chan x gn!reader
genre: angst, no comfort (i warned you)
warning: mentions of suicide, cursing, the entire drabble is full of hurt
words: 0.8k
synopsis: Chan visits you again. What will you say to you this time?
a/n (1): this drabble is triggering, so please if you are sensitive to the warnings DO NOT read. Your health is my priority and remember that you are not alone, you will never be. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. English is not my first language, so tell me if I made some mistakes.
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«hi my love, i’ve missed you. Do you remember what day is it? It’s our anniversary and I really can’t believe that we’ve come this far. The younger me would be so proud to hear I’ve been with the love of my life for six years now. And I would do anything to spend this special with you. Actually I don’t really want to celebrate. It would be useless if I’m alone. 
«I bought your favorite flowers today. Hope you will appreciate them. Do you remember the first time I bought you flowers? They were roses and you were so scared to tell me you were allergic. I felt guilty but when I saw you laughing I thought it was all worthy. Even tho I tried to kill you, hearing and seeing your laugh for the first time was like being transported to heaven. I immediately felt lighter and happier. You’ve always made me the happiest. It’s a shame that happiness is gone now. But it’s not your fault, if anything it’s mine. 
«the boys miss you too. You know, one week ago we met all together for the first time after the accident and I tried, I tried so hard to distract myself. I did everything I could, they did everything, but it was all pointless. I told them I was fine, that I felt like I was already moving on, but they were all lies. I can’t help it. I don’t want them to be worried. They’ve already suffered enough and I don’t to be another burden. 
«I wrote you a song. Yes, another one. It seems like you are still my biggest inspiration. I really want to sing it to you, but it’s not finished yet. You need to wait just a little more. I promise you, the next time I’ll come with the lyrics. Just wait for me. 
«why y/n? Why did you do this to me? Was I not enough? Did you feel like you couldn’t trust me? Why? Why did you not search for help? I would have been there. I would have listened to each of your worries. I would have stayed with you. I would have told you that everything was going to be okay, that you were not alone. So why did you never told me how you were really feeling? Fuck- why? I know that it’s anyone fault, but I feel like I’m the only culprit. I know that i should not be mad at you, but I am. I’m madly angry. I wanna scream, cry and at the same time let everything go. But you will still not come back to me. So why should I try anyway?
«I’ve always seen suicide like a way to die for cowards. I’ve always thought that people who chose it were selfish. But who am I to think about it like that now, if I wasn’t even capable of helping you? I’m the real selfish because in 6 fucking years I wasn’t be able to look into you, to look through you. You were suffering and I didn’t do anything. I tried to blame you when you told me you needed me, so who am I to fucking say you are the selfish one? I’m a mess. I’m a disaster. 
«the last time I saw you, you were happier. I remember that I even asked you why. You just told me “today is a beautiful day” and before I left you said “I love you, always will” for the last time. If I only knew. I read somewhere that a star burns brightest in its final moments and I get it now. Every time I look at the sky I always wonder if you are finally happy. When I look at the glowing stars I always think it’s your way to tell me that you are there. You are there and you are okay. You are protecting me. 
«I cry. A lot. Even now, I can’t stop crying. The guilt it’s really hard to bear. I can’t even look in the mirror without feeling disgust towards myself. And you would probably be disappointed too if you saw me like this. You want me to be happy, but I can’t. Not without you. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t look out for you when you needed me the most. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when I was supposed to. I’m sorry that i was the worst boyfriend you could ever ask for. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. 
«will I ever be able to see you again? I really hope so. But I’ll make sure to look at the sky every single night and look out for the brightest star. Because you are there, aren’t you? 
«please wait for me, I still have to sing you a song. You will be proud of me, I promise.
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a/n (2): hiii, how are you? I’m finally on school break! Sorry if I’m being inactive BUT, apart from school that is really stressing me out, I’m working on a bunch of things (a long ass fic and a smau :)) ). I probably already said this, BUT I’M GOING TO SEE MY STRAY KIDS IN JULY AFTER TWO YEARS, AND I’M THE HAPPIEST. I cannot really wait. Btw, thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it. I also ask you to like it and tell me your opinion about this to help me to improve. Have a good day / night 🫶🏻
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gingerjunhan · 1 day
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haii how r u doing 💟 can i request xdh with a doe-eyed s/o ? kinda craving some whipped bf content 🙏 tyy
☆彡 hi anon!! Hope you're doing well. Sorry it took me 5ever to get around to your request :( I hope you enjoy!!!
word count: 844 | pronouns used: they/them | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: pet names (pretty, beautiful, baby), dying (mentioned jokingly), lmk if I missed something!!
goo gunil
Gunil falls victim to the doe eyes the most
maybe it's the fact that he's the oldest, and therefore he feels the need to take care of the people around him?
or maybe it's because you have that man wrapped round your finger
you could be asking this man for one of his kidneys and he would probably still say yes
there's just something about your eyes and the way they shine up at him that make him bend to your whim at literally all times
and if you're someone who wears makeup... it's over
pair some sparkly eyeshadow with your pretty eyes and he melts into the floor
it truly is the sparkle that gets him
he never gets used to it despite it being the oldest trick in your book
but hey, he loves making you happy, so he really doesn't mind :)
kim jungsu
Jungsu strikes me as a big "personality > looks" guy (which he is so real for)
but there's something about your eyes...
he can't help but feel drawn in every time he looks at you
they're one of the first things he noticed about you in all honesty
it sounds cheesy, but he could get lost in your eyes if he was given the chance
they way they're always so big and bright... they're like gemstones to him
he's another one that isn't prone to The Look™️
if you really want something, you're getting it
he can't say no to his precious partner :(
smiling brings out the sparkle in your eye, so he's gotta keep you happy so he can keep admiring you
kwak jiseok
he finds you mesmerizing
often stares at you in a silly way just to get you to do it back
your eyes are just so big and beautiful!
he comments on them aaalllllll the time
he hates- absolutely despises- seeing you sad
the second your big, beautiful eyes start to droop, he’s scrambling to make you feel better
the way your eyes crinkle up when you laugh :(
needless to say he cannot resist the begging
when you look up (or down, let’s be so fr) at him, and your eyes sparkle with happiness and he knows he’s the one who caused it UGHHH
it melts him into a puddle every. single. time.
they way your eyes somehow light up and get even wider when you talk about the things you love???
he swears it’s the eighth wonder of the world
oh seungmin
he is whipped
like,, he probably beats out Gunil because this man is down bad
if he sends you a selfie during the day, and you respond with one of your own, he will be mesmerized
cameras don't do you justice because they can't convey the beauty as well
he has definitely gotten distracted in the middle of doing something just because you came in the room and looked at him
stopping mid-sentence and trailing off because you gave him a pouty look and he couldn't take it
he is at your whim
just look his way and he will tend to your every need, hand and foot
he loves the ego boost of when your eyes sparkle while you're talking to him or checking him out from a distance
hit him with a soft "please, baby? 🥺" mixed with your beautiful eyes and he is done for
han hyeongjun
he strikes me as another huge "personality > looks" guy (they all give me that vibe tbh lets be so fr) so when he sees your pretty eyes he feels like he's falling in love all over again
if you laugh and your eyes light up? he dies
you talk about one of your passions and your eyes get even wider? it truly kills him
please please please bat your lashes at him when you need him to do something for you omg he literally cannot resist
he is blushing and smiling and UUUGGGHHH
he gets so shy :(
he will go out if his way to mention something you like in a conversation that has nothing to do with that topic just to see your eyes light up
The Look™️ definitely works on him 99% of the time too
no "please" required, just give him the puppy-eyes and it's over
he just loves his pretty partner and their pretty eyes :((
lee jooyeon
this goes one of two ways
the least common way: you give him your signature puppy-eyes look because you need him to do you a favor, and he mimics your face and says no
the most common way: he folds immedietly
he knows you use your eyes for evil... but he can't help it
when they're the prettiest color he's ever seen... how can he say no to you???
he loves loves loves how your eyes look when you wear eyeshadow
the colors you use always make your eyes pop- accentuating how beautiful they are :(
KISSES YOUR EYELIDS ☹️
he is so sweet and gentile with you because he loves you so so so so much and he will do ANYTHING to see those pretty eyes of yours sparkle!!!!!!!!!!
taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , @odesonnets , @weluvjeong , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚
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thefiery-phoenix · 3 days
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PLATONIC YANDERE MALFOY FAMILY
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Narcissa would probably be the first person to meet you and get obsessed with you? How? That's a very goo question but fortunately or unfortunately for you, she'd either spot you at Diagon Alley curiously checking out the cauldron shops and thinking what to buy for your first year at Hogwarts. Draco may or may not be in the same year as you but either way, you'll still have a new friend. Or she'd probably meet you at Flourish and Blotts reading your list and struggling to hold the books. She'll be ever so kind to help you with your books and she'll start cooing how cute and adorable you look, her protective motherly instincts kicking in to see such an innocent little child like you all alone. And she isn't too fond of your parents either for leaving you alone and if she ever sees them, she'll be having a word with them. Or maybe little more than having just a word with them 
After that interaction she sees you come to Diagon Alley a few more times and each time she gets real touchy and grabby with you till you tell her to quit it and you try running away from her, hoping against hope that you'll never see her again. But Narcissa is infatuated with you and she just can't stop thinking about you and how you might be suffering with your so called family. Lucius will observe her cheerful and happy behavior and it would confuse him for a while till he demands her to explain why she's behaving in such a weird manner. Narcissa then spills her heart out to Lucius and Draco describing every detail and inch of you perfectly 
Lucius just brushes her off not thinking too much about it but Draco is somewhat curious to know who you are and how you've managed to capture his mother's heart. He decided to keep an eye and a lookout for you if at all the does manage to see you and he sincerely hoped you'd be in Slytherin along with him 
Draco would see you in the Great Hall for the first time either for your Sorting Hat ceremony or you're just there with the rest of the other people applauding the first years and stuff. Whatever the case is, if you're in Slytherin he'll be really happy and pleased, you'll end up sitting with him for everything and you're like the Slytherin Princess to the Slytherin Prince or something. If you're not in Slytherin and you ended up in some other house especially Gryffindor, he'll be sulky and sulk around for a while like a child when denied candy and his feelings are hurt. He wouldn't be able to spend too much time with you as he thought but no matter, he'll still find a way to make you notice him and make you be his friend. Oh, and anytime he sees someone trying to bully you or tease you, they'll be at the wrong end of Malfoy and his family and let me tell you, NO ONE wants to be on the wrong end of the Malfoys since you know.... they ARE Death Eaters after all and they're not going to spare the fool who dared to insult you like that 
Draco will lure you into a friendship pretty quick and he's really clingy, always getting jealous if you pay attention to someone else other than him. If that person ends up taking too much of your time and attention he'll just get mad and secretly find a way to hex them and pretend like he doesn't know anything
Lucius meets you one fine day while visiting Hogwarts, to criticize Dumbledore's teachings of course and the ways and methods of education of the staff there. And Draco introduces you to his father despite your indignant protests. And guess who told their parents all about you in their letters to their parents updating them on what you do every singe freaking day? The little ferret here. Lucius finally understands why Narcissa and Draco are so obsessed with you and he couldn't believe someone so innocent and naive like you was getting mixed up in friendships with mudbloods, blood traitors, half breeds and half bloods (So sorry Hermione, Ron, Hagrid and Harry, no offence TvT)
Don't be too surprised if your real family disappears one fine day. Draco sees you crying and his heart feels like shattering into a million pieces, he doesn't want to see his darling baby sister/ brother cry! He thought you'd be glad that those fakers were now dead and you can now return home to your real family but he really didn't expect you to start crying. So, he'll comfort you no matter how much time it takes. Oh and guess which family now has custody of you? The Malfoys and if you've guessed that right, yay you, you win a cookie! 🍪
The Malfoys don't want you getting mixed up in all this Death Eater business but they'll find out anyways and if you're not careful of your actions you'll have Voldy as a platonic yandere for you as well. Bellatrix might be a bit sus of you at first but when she sees how happy and glad her sister is, she'll accept you as well and even though she isn't a Malfoy she will gladly kill anyone who dares to look at you in the wrong way
You'll always be their perfect innocent little angel in this dark and tainted world 
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factual-fantasy · 14 hours
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You never fail to make my day when I see the notif that you answered my Tuna&Co. rambles
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What can I say? I really love that you make this silly little creatures and develop them and I get to witness the art <3
Octo and Ellie having the same body language is so real, I love them, have I told you that? They are so very dear to me
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Spidercrab poor long-legged man, he got yeeted out of his area (medicine) and almost died! Who takes care of the medic when he's down? Himself? Who is someone capable of treating injured if not the medic? Maybe Seafom? Ellie? Tuna? Coco???
Tuna being scared and in awe at the same time is so very him I love him. On one side "she can transform into a gigant somehow and didn't tell anybody, she doesn't inspire me trust, also, what else can she do that we dont know about? She's dangerous.", on the other "she could have used this against us and didn't, she isn't that bad... right?"
The fact that Tuna cares so much about the crew safety is so <3 knowing he doesn't have a nice past among people... Like, the "people hurted me badly, but I see you're different. Im trying my best to be friendly, but I dont know how to do this. Im new to not being treated like garbage by others." he has going on is so precious to me. He really cares about this guys. It's really sweet that he has people who care for him and who he cares for. He struggles with them and he isn't the best to be around to, but... just look at him, he's trying! He's healing! He is such a nice character WAAAAAH. He was a jerk, for sure, and a meanace, and no-one wanted him nearby, but he ended up caring so very much to the point of "is she a treat to the crew?". He probably won't admit it never-ever, but still I love that algae-brained boy <3
And then he opened up by bits and...
THEYRE BEST FRIENDS WAAAAAH
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HE DID IT YOU DONT GET THIS SHES HIS BEST FRIENDDDDDD WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
HE HAS A BESTIEEEEEEEE
HE HAS A PARTNER IN CRIMEEEEEEEE
It took long but he did it :')
Please I can imagine them planing their next move on pranking Coco or sth while they eat something and Ellie looks at them "hehe, this is bad" I love them stop this madness.
Love for you loge four your cookies love for everyone today is love day
(In response to this)
:DD I'm glad you're having fun with my responses!
Hmm.. that's actually a good question.. who does take care of Spidercrab when he's down? I wanna say Ellie would be the backup medic. Since she isn't a fighter and has a caring heart deep down, I can see her learning how to patch up the crew.. it's possible she isn't as good a medic as Spider, but I'm sure she'd be qualified to care for him/anyone who needs it :00
And yes yes! Deep down Tuna does care for his crew and assume the best of them. He's just got a lot of psychological defenses to break down before he can really open up to them. <:)
XD and yeeess, Tuna and Pinwheel going to prank Coco. With Ellie watching it all go down in the background. Sounds about right! 🤣🤣
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tiny-tk · 3 days
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hi friends !! bit of a different post this time, but i wanna talk about disney and it’s place in the agere community.
i won’t get into specifics, but events in palestine r making a lot of people (including me) decide to boycott disney by not doing anything that lets them make money. if you don’t know about this, i rly rly encourage you to do ur own research (ideally while not in little space since it’s .. very rough topics) and make ur own choice on wether or not u wanna support them after knowing the full story of what’s going on n disney’s involvement.
this post is for littles who feel conflicted by the calls for a boycott!!
first of all, i know it can be scary to find out that something you’ve been giving money to for merch or subscriptions or whatever is going to a bad place. but no one is blaming you for that, and if you didn’t know then you didn’t know. but you can always change!!
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"why are people boycotting disney?"
i won't go in depth to keep this post little-safe, but essentially the israeli military is currently doing terrible things to the people of palestine, and disney is helping them fund and promote it. here's a couple links that go more in-depth if you want to learn, but i'd recommend not reading them while regressed:
https://insidethemagic.net/2023/11/disney-israel-palestine-boycott-jc1/
https://www.dailygamecock.com/article/2023/12/column-why-boycotting-for-palestine-gaza-is-important-opinion-vanderhorst#:~:text=There%20are%20currently%20three%20main,financially%20or%20through%20public%20statements.
but i mostly encourage you to try n find out on your own, rather than listening to some random tumblr user about it.
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“but disney is a huge comfort source for me.”
this doesn’t have to change. you don’t have to stop liking their movies n shows. you don’t have to stop loving your toys or books of disney characters. if something brings you comfort, that is sacred, and no one can take that away. a lot of disney media made me who i am today, and yet i’m still writing this post against the company, these things can both be true !!
similarly, agere is a safe space for so many people, which can be used to justify supporting things that really don't deserve our support, since people want to protect themselves by not finding out why. put bluntly, people knowing that there are problems, but choosing to ignore them, is part of the problem itself. if you feel at all capable of educating yourself, please do. it's so important.
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“ok, so what can i do?”
if you’ve decided to join the boycott, that’s wonderful!! all that is being asked, is to not spend money on anything from disney. so branded food, toys, a disney+ subscription, stuff like that. if you’re used to doing that a lot, here’s some alternatives!
. :+* get disney toys second hand - they’re pre-loved!! they’ve already started a life with someone, and they’re eager to continue it with a new kid
. :+* pirate shows n movies instead !! this can be a little tricky to figure out, but it’s how i watch pretty much everything hehe, and can be a lot of fun! alternatively, you could just borrow a friend’s subscription or buy dvds second hand if you have a dvd player.
. :+* get merch from independent sellers. this way, you still get brand new things with ur favorite disney characters, but you also get to support independent creators n not support disney the brand !! also, these are often higher quality than official products too, which is like bonus points.
. :+* if you're posting about somethin disney related, add a note that lets people know that you don't support the brand n encourages ppl to find out why for themselves
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it’s a tough change to make, but any help is better than no help. if you aren’t sure what i’m talking about, please do your own research. the scale of what’s happening in palestine is huge, and boycott movements like this have been proven to cause real positive change in the past. i won’t get mad at anyone for choosing not to boycott, but it’s important to me that as many people as possible consciously make that choice for themselves, instead of blindly following a company that’s using their money to hurt people.
hearing about terrible things happening is exhausting, regardless of how much you're doing to help. but try to remember that any action is better than nothing, especially with activism, and keep doing whatever you can. <3 take care of yourselves friends !!
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In Perpetuity
A/N: trying something new. Let me know if it makes any sense/ what you think?
warnings: mentions of illness, hospitals. ——
“how are you with cats, though?” She asks, intertwining their fingers together and pulling him closer to her.
“Told you, darlin, all animals love me. He would’ve liked me. ” Matty winks at her playfully. “Paul wasnt not just any animal.” She raises her nose at him, failing to hide her giggle. “what?”
“yeah, he was very picky with people. He actually-“
“no, I mean, ‘what?’ As in ‘Your cat’s name was Paul?” she nods. The grin on her face that night is the first time that Matty sees what she looks like when she talks about her loved ones. He thinks he might just be in love with her. But it’s too early. Too early to tell her, at least. “well, his government name is “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band-“
Matty bites his lip. “don’t- no, no! Don’t look at me like that. It’s not- pretentious because-“ she bursts into laughter at her own words. “Because he was a family pet originally. My dad named him!”
“I haven’t said anything!”
“anyways! So we used to call him ‘Sargent Pepper,’ obviously, for short.”
“obviously…” he nods
“but, see, when I was younger, I had no idea that the correct abbreviation for ‘Sargent’ was, like, ‘SGT.’ so, on vets paperwork, groomers, travel docs, I always wrote ‘St.’ so, naturally, everyone outside of our family always called him ‘Saint.’ I could never figure out why.”
Matty thinks he sees where this is going. A smile flashes across his face. The pale moonlight is reflected in her hair clip. It gives her a vague halo.
“So, eventually, whenever we would invent silly names for him….we kept saying ‘Saint,’ and ‘Sainty,’ and ‘Saint Paul.’”
“Until you got ‘Paul.’” He finishes her story.
“exactly!”
“your cat is named after St. Paul.”
she rolls her eyes. “Did you not hear what I just said? He’s named after The Beatles’ album.”
“Sgt. Pepper isn’t even their best album!”
*** Matty exhaled, loudly, staring at his own reflection in the full length mirror. He pulled the hood of his jacket on, but upon second thought, he felt like he was performing his emotions, so he pulled it back down, running a hand through this hair. *** “Fuckin hell.” He sighs, lowering the tv volume down to a persistent hum. He’s vaguely aware of her standing at the entrance of the living room. “Another racist gun guy.” He laments. “How many is it going to take?”
“matty?” She calls his name and he hears it in her voice. Somethings wrong. He whips his neck, his eyebrows raised. “What- darling? What is it?”
“I don’t feel so good.”
*** the car keys felt cold in his tightly closed palm. He sat in the drivers seat, looking around for nothing in particular. *** The nurse assures him that he’s doing everything he’s supposed to. Her accent gets thicker the more passionate she gets. Matty smiles and thanks her, letting her believe that she’s comforted him successfully. He can’t help but feel the cruelty of the universe and he wants to fall to his knees and beg it to stop. *** He typed in the address, welling up with tears, and drove out onto the main road. It had been a while since he’d taken this particular drive. But it was like muscle memory.
*** “Can I please fuck you?” He whispers intensely into her ear that night. she giggles. “I thought you’d never ask.” the words are hardly out of her mouth before he jumps on her, hauls her into his arms, and she breaks out into a fit of laughter. “Well, Mrs. Healy-“
“hmmm, I think I like that sound of that.” She smiles. “I didn’t think I’d like being subsumed by your identity. Being someone’s Mrs. But you’ve won me over.”
He bats his eye lashes at her. “Was it my charming personality? My endless talents?”
“it was the dick, let’s be real.” She jokes. “well, then, we better consummate this marriage as soon as possible!”
They stay in bed all night. She turns over under the sheets and climbs on top of him to give him a kiss. He wants to reciprocate, but he’s so exhausted. His eyes flutter shut. He lets himself be kissed. He can taste the cum on both their lips. It makes him smile.
“C’mon husband. You gotta rally. We need to shower.”
he’s surprised to feel himself blushing at ‘husband.’ He groans. “Sleepy.”
“What if we made it a bath, instead?”
“hmmm….”
she leans over by his ear. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
“sounds sexy. I’m in.”
*** out of the corner of his eye, Matty thought he’d spotted a flower shop. He stopped the car, looking around for parking. He wondered if they have any peonies. *** They fight each other for the last pieces of every snack. She giggles a lot when she’s stoned. Matty loves that about her. “no, no, no. You gotta hold it in your lungs for a bit. Trust me.”
she tries his suggestion. “yo, that’s too long. Too long!” He pokes her cheeks to force her breath out. He’s not sure if she’s laughing or coughing but he’s sure that he loves her. “I’m so glad we got married.” She says, her voice hoarse. “This shit is forever.”
“til death do us part.” He nods. “for all eternity.”
he thinks, for a moment, about more synonyms. “In perpetuity…”
she frowns. “I’m not sure that’s how you’re meant to use that, but okay.”
*** “Mrs. H. Healy.” The granite engraving on the headstone read. Not that he needed a signpost. “1992-2023.” He set down the peonies.
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podcast-hemocytoblast · 10 months
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By the time cars were invented, Jonah Magnus was already well into the body hopping game, which raises the question: has he ever actually learn to drive? Did this man sit through driver’s ed? Or has he just been getting out of legal repercussions for his shit driving by telling the cops everything he knows about their deepest darkest secrets every time he gets pulled over?
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atlantis-just-drowned · 9 months
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Me, reappearing in the world after days of isolation : C-C-Cove… Ho-olden… c-content… I n-n-need…
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time-is-restored · 10 months
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btw this might be me swinging a bat at a hornets nest but like. absolutely none of my disappointment from the tl finale comes from ship baiting or any relationships that didn’t happen (though to be clear, i think the tedbecca fake outs were meanspirited and served no narrative purpose - in noted contrast to the season's earlier jamiekeeley fakeouts, for example, which were explicitly there to demonstrate jamie's growth + maturity)
tedpendant is a really fun concept for me, and i LOVE the characterisation + thematic potential there!
but as someone who personally resonated with a lot of ted’s struggles, the idea that ted could leave richmond so… seamlessly, for lack of a better word, really doesn’t sit right with me. the thesis of the shows entire first season - assuming it can be said to have only one - was about how everyone needs the love and support of a community, whether that comes in the flavour of someone who hypes u tf up or someone who will relentlessly call u on ur shit (or, as happened quite frequently, both!).
rebecca, roy, jamie are the clearest examples as the characters with the most screentime: they were all deeply isolated and disconnected from the people around them, and that was making them miserable. the connections they made with the team, the vulnerability they finally allowed themselves to express (the ghost banishing ceremony comes to mind!), and them going on to want *more* out of their life are what made their arcs about *progression* rather than *regression*. without that clear theme of compassion + community inspiring positive growth in everyone who encounters it, there is, frankly, no season one.
my personal favourite scene from season one comes right after michelle walks away from ted, when they’ve agreed to get divorced. ted sits down on the bench looking gutted, and a little shell shocked - and beard sits down with him. hands him the drink, and they sit there together. silent, but together. to me, that scene is an implicit promise from the episode, to the audience: ‘it’ll be okay. it’s going to be hard, but ted isn’t alone, and his friends won’t leave him behind.’
it also makes it clear to the audience that ted isn’t the saintly-giver-of-grace who needs nothing in return, as one might assume on first brush, but rather that he’s Also struggling with his own shit (as is everyone, always, in real life!) and he has something he needs from the people around him too.
and looking at the text of s3, and the conclusion to his arc in the finale, i just don’t believe that he got it. he wasn’t just sad that he was leaving (which would be understandable!), he was completely closed off. unresponsive to the people around him reaching out, borderline confused as to why they were trying so hard!
(side note, while i completely respect the read of ted and trents last interaction being rather rude + ooc on ted’s part, i personally read a different motive into it. for me, it was more like… he didn’t understand where trents enthusiasm was coming from? like, he read that as trent being too invested in what other people think of him, and responded in a way that he hoped would emphasise that ted doesn’t *need* to laugh at everything trent wrote, bc trent Already Knows that he’s done something really cool and kickass, and he shouldn’t value anyone else’s reactions above that. basically, based on his demeanour in the episode, i genuinely don’t think it would’ve even occurred to him that trent was more invested in HIS reaction than he would’ve been with anyone else.)
again, looking purely at the text, the show had already established that ted has really strong depressive + avoidant tendencies, as well as panic attacks (largely triggered by his fear of not being ‘good enough’ in various roles, ie: a father). we saw one area he was able to calm HIMSELF abt these fears (worry for henry, which is a Hell of a choice considering the ending…), but in literally every other heightened moment, he had to rely on his support system to help him make the choices that he WANTED to make, rather than ones inspired by avoidance and fear (ie: confronting michelle abt jake, talking to his mum abt why she was visiting + his dads death).
and to be clear, this is a GOOD THING! we’re not supposed to go through life alone, no matter how bad OR well we’re doing. rebecca and keeleys friendship isn’t worth less for all the scenes where they’re both in good places. if anything, the opposite is true - it’s lovely that they both have someone who want to celebrate the achievements in their life!
and fuck it, we’re sure as hell not supposed to go through life with exactly one (1) person whom we expect to fulfill ALL of our emotional needs at all times either! like, im sure i don’t need to labour my point here, but tying everything to one (1) person in ur life doesn’t make u any less isolated than if u were going it completely alone, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner. i won’t pretend to know the first thing abt what it’s like to be a parent, but i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say that no parent would be at their best if they had absolutely no support/camaraderie/general love provided to them from Anyone other than their child.
so when ted is SPECIFICALLY shown to be in a bad place, over and over again (did he come to terms w his fear to be close to henry overnight???????), and then removed from his community? of COURSE the audience is left feeling unsettled, and like the rug has been pulled out from under them. there was no time in this finale dedicated to how ted would still be in contact with anyone from richmond. no promises of visits, or phone calls - fuck, nothing about emails!! according to the text, we might as well assume this is a clean break (and the maybe-dream-sequence does Fuck All to assure us otherwise. if ted doesn’t go to beards wedding, what WOULD he go to????). and since the show has ALSO completely failed to give us even an IMPLICATION of who/what ted’s support system would be in kansas, there’s… a reasonable argument to be made that this is It for ted. that, after two seasons doing NOTHING but attesting otherwise, the audience is supposed to suddenly believe that ted can (and SHOULD!) pull himself up by his bootstraps, and cope entirely on his own.
that, to me, is a betrayal of the show’s premise. we were promised a show about how, no matter how dark things may get, none of the characters would be left to struggle alone. and then they ended the show with ted alone.
i don’t know. i guess if i had to give this post a tldr; if anyone has any gen fic/meta/Literally Anything in the pipeline, i would absolutely love to be tagged/directed towards it. i’ll be endeavouring to write something myself, as well, but it might take a while before i can return to my WIP, lol.
#this is the most measured version of this post i was capable of fghjskdjhgfdgjhsfd#the least measured one is just the aromantic flag with the ‘we are going to beat u to death’ meme overlaid#look ik this is hardly impartial wrt very small + insular communities like nuclear families#but its fucking impossible to go into media analysis and not bring Anything from ur real life in there w u#so im trying to forgive myself for being a little hashtag Vulnerable + Opinionated on main#in the spirit of what this show could’ve been lol#if not here then where etc etc#Ted lasso spoilers#Ted lasso meta#Ted lasso critical#also just to be clear here im being dead serious abt that last point#im spiritually doing the jamie run to demonstrate to u all how badly i want gen shit#please. p l e a s e .#okay wait last ramble here but. this is also why the lack of information we got on trent was so crushing to me#like ur telling me this man went through the incredibly painful + harrowing process of breaking out of his (comfortable! safe) shell +#cynical journalist persona. came out to someone VERY important in his life. and has done nothing but face the music wrt acknowleding#his past mistakes + endeavouring to be better and kinder. and we never get to know if he has ANY support through all that? at all?#is he dating? what's his family situation like? does he have full custody? any friends from work? any friends period?????#like i can should must and will die on the beard + roy + higgins + colins are trents best friends hill but#its like the premise of the show stopped mattering just in time for him to be left in a legitimately depressing limbo#like 'yes everyone needs love + support bc life is rlly hard. but we're tired of making a show abt that so This Is All Ur Getting#+ screw anyone's personal life that u didn't already see in s1. You Know Enough.'#anyway i love u all this is a very silly show and im gonna go play t.o.t.k for a few hours o/ <3
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