#please stop invalidating peoples eds

[kkujo]

no more "i don't see your flaws". i do see your flaws and i'm telling you it doesn't matter and i love you anyway

#something i've noticed on a lot of those cutesy posts is being like 'my partner is so perfect they could never do anything wrong' #and like. i get it ik what's meant by that and it's okay to be like my partner is perfect #but i feel like some of them genuinely believe that their partner can do no wrong which is an unfair standard to hold them to #and an unrealistic expectation #ur partner is human. they're gonna make mistakes there will be times when they get things wrong. there will be times when u get things wron #that's just life yk like can we stop doing the whole 'my partner is a flawless being who can never make mistakes' thing #also something much more loving is 'you acknowledge your flaws and i'm proud of you for trying to improve' #rather than lalala not listening noooo you don't have flaws!!!! YKNOW???? like it feels almost invalidating to view someone as flawless #that said. i will continue to call my gf the most perfect flawless sweetest little thing forever and always #rbs off bc ed mfs keep rbing and i'm in recovery lol y'all need to stay in your lane and stop rbing content from random fucking blogs #please give a shit about triggering people and rb from other ed blogs bc you're exposing recovered bitches to your gross shit ✌

[yellowroseswrites]

yo. so i just saw that spencer x reader you wrote featuring an ED. i was wondering if maybe you could write it as an imagine/one shot/whatever but from a different perspective? im struggling with losing weight unintentionally due to drug use and its starting to scare me. last time i was this thin i did have an ED. so would you be able to do one where the reader is just as concerned as spencer about their weight loss? maybe he helps find foods that work for them, encourages them to eat, etc? id love it of spence were cheering me on to finish a bowl of cereal (⋟﹏⋞)

"One more bite?"

Spencer Reid x Reader

Author's notes - {I have quite literally no clue if this is good or accurate, but I did my very best. I did a little research but I still wrote it very vague to avoid as much invalidating as possible. I hope this brings at least a little comfort, and my apologies for any and all inaccuracies}

TW- {Plenty of eating talk, reader eats, Spencer eats, they eat cereal, milk is mentioned, past eating issues are mentioned but barely, Pulp Fiction is mentioned, probably inaccuracies about movies, Dead Poets Society mention, there's a 420 joke but it's from Spencer so it's not really said as a joke, Autistic Spencer Reid, but that's just how I write him,not proofread, if there's any more lmk! love you all please eat some food and drink some water lovelies <3}

“I’m not hungry.”

God, it sounded so sad on your tongue. You wished you could just eat, you really did. You weren’t like you used to be, you didn’t want to be like this. You just wanted to eat.

Spencer’s face fell, but only a bit. He was used to this by now to, your body working against you. Your body craved things that would destroy it, but it refused to accept the things it needed, like food. It was scary for you, and it was positively horrifying for Spencer. He was watching you fight back, but wither away anyway, and he hated it.

"I know you aren't, but it's important that you eat it."

You groaned in annoyance. You knew Spencer was helping, but it was the same thing you've heard over and over again.

Reid seemed to think a bit before moving again, this time pouring milk into his own bowl before putting away the milk and the cereals, (fruit loops for you and raisin bran for him, which he insists helps him remember things during cases).

He came back to his bowl and started eating in front of you, "You like Tarantino movies right?"

"Uh, some of them, why?"

While you spoke he took a bite of his food, signaling with his spoon for you to do the same. Once you grabbed your spoon, he spoke again.

"Did you know that almost every clock in Pulp fiction is set to 4:20? Some people have said that they only have 2 scenes where they are set differently, but to be honest I've never seen it so I wouldn't know."

"Wait a minute," You said, "You have never seen Pulp Fiction?"

"That's what you got from that?"

"Who hasn't seen Pulp Fiction? It's a classic!" You took another bite of the cereal.

"That's what you said about Dead Poets Society." Spencer replied.

To be fair, he had read the book. He knew everything that would happen, it was definitely not your fault he spent the whole time pointing out things they got wrong. You simply nodded your head at his reply, messing with the fruit loops left spinning in your bowl.

"Wanna take one more bite for me?" 

There was barely any left in the bowl, half of you wanted to fight back, and half knew it was stupid and that Reid wanted the same thing you did. You took the bite and slid the bowl over to him, which he quickly took with his to the sink. 

"Ok," You stood up from your seat at the table, "We are totally going to watch it now."

Spencer giggled at your excitement, walking over to you and kissing your forehead. "Uh-hu. Go turn it on, I'll be in in a second."

 

You turned to walk over to the couch when Reid stopped you again, 

"And hey, I'm proud of you."

He gave you a quick smile before you walked off again, and his smile only grew as he washed your empty bowl.

#yellowroseswrites #comfort fics #x reader #x reader fic #comfort blurb #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid comfort #spencer reid x reider #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #eating comfort

[royalveinspaperpl4nes]

Please read, this is so important:

You aren't faking your ED.

As someone who has been doing this my whole life and has been through treatment programs over and over and over - I felt the same way too.

I had the same thoughts too, back in the day when I was young and on tumblr and hadn't been through the healing part yet. But here's the thing - insurance companies didn't seem to think I was faking. Doctors didn't seem to think I was faking. The only one who thought I was faking was me.

The little thoughts you have that tell you you're faking an ED every time you eat, are what's called the ED voice. And it is a research backed indicator that your ED is actually real. The ED thoughts/voice are a CRUCIAL part of your eating disorder's ability to manipulate you. It's like, MOST of what the eating disorder actually does/is. It talks to you from your brain. It's a MENTAL illness, with physical side effects.

It feeds you little tricks and lies so that you'll continue to engage with it. It tells you you're not t--n enough so that you don't stop.

The biggest problem with the ED voice, is that it's actually you. It lives in your brain, like a tiny demon, like a cancer that's growing out of your own, real thoughts. This is how it knows your every insecurity. This is how it knows how to talk sweet to you. It knows your crushes name. It knows your deepest desires. It knows what will break you to the point of never stopping.

You're not faking your ED. Everyone with an active ED feels invalid the moment they eat something. But the fact is that lots of people with eating disorders actually do eat. all the time.

The main thing, is that we don't want to. You don't want to eat? You feel like unaliving when you DO eat? THAT'S not normal. You ARE sick. You're not faking. Trust me on this.

And stay safe, lovelies. 🖤🖤🖤

#⭐️rve #ed meals #sk11ny #thiinsp0 #tw ana diary #@na trigger #anorexcya #tw ana trigger #tw relapse #thigh g4p

[messymindofmine]

Ok I am so sick of people saying that Johnny has good intentions. Johnny has never had good intentions when it comes to Robby. It's always been about himself and his own guilt. Not once has he ever even spared a thought to Robby and his feelings on anything. Also can people please stop likening Robby to other characters? There is absolutely no comparison to be made here bc Robby is not on equal ground with any of them. I said a while back that Tory is the only one that Robby is on remotely equal ground with but after this season even that isn't true anymore. Because at least Tory wasn't forced to sacrifice her entire personality in order to fit into what others wanted her to be. Hell even prior to that, Tory was able to get help-from Amanda no less and had even started therapy. All the while Robby has been consistently shafted by everyone.

Also, I know that Sam as a character gets way too much hate from the fandom. I personally don't hate her as a character on her own. As a character, I actually like her a lot. In fact, her arc this season was the one of the very few things that I liked. I'm so glad she got a win this season. But that right there proves how even Sam still gets the better end of the stick when it comes to Robby. Not only is Robby hated by the fandom to such an extent that there were actually people saying that they hoped Robby got r**ed in prison or that they hope he'd die in s4. There are people who will literally make shit up for an excuse to hate on him. But he's also been through non-stop hell since the end of s2. And in this season, he had to sacrifice his entire personality in favor of becoming everybody else's hype man just so that he could be accepted by them. No other character has been treated this badly. There is not a single character that has not hurt Robby in some way and none of them have apologized to him. Yet Robby has been made to apologize to them and be their emotional punching bag. So no, I don't think that the way Robby is treated by the show and the fandom is in any way comparable to any of the others.

I also don't think it's entirely fair to say that Johnny was there for Sam more than her parents were. Yes, Johnny taught her a way to channel her anger in a way that Daniel refused to do but that's about all he did. Amanda was stuck in a really difficult situation with Tory. Amanda went to Tory and basically threatened her to leave Sam alone. Tory then got fired after yelling at Amanda which yes, Tory shouldn't have been surprised that she was fired but it did make things even harder for her. Amanda then helped Tory bc if she hadn't Tory could have lost her family. Even then, she never made any illusions as to who she really cared about. She was very upfront with Tory that she would be rooting for Sam and asked Tory not to hurt her. Daniel resolved his issues with Johnny and told Sam he wanted her to be herself and do what's right for her. Daniel may not have been the best in s4 but there was never any doubt as to whose side he was on. And as for Johnny, the fact that he was able to show more concern for his rival's daughter than he was his own son is a big strike against him. Pointing these things out has nothing to do with me hating on Sam. If anything, it's me hating on Johnny.

I understand that people aren't always trying to be hurtful or invalidating when they say that. I also understand that they don't mean any harm when they bring up other characters. If people want to talk about how overhated Sam is that's totally fine. In fact, I've actually made a few posts on this in the past myself and may well do more bc I do have issues with the way people talk about Sam particularly wrt her and Tory's rivalry. But I just don't think the way Robby is treated can be likened to any other character not when he has been hung out to dry by both the show and the fandom

#cobra kai #robby keene

[insykko]

Cant wait until these fucking tiktok girls glamourizing this shitty fucking illness see hair clumps falling out in the shower and stop their bullshit promoting. Tiktok is used by mainly young people, they dont need to be exposed to this shit. Tumblr is a lesser known Website and at least the people here are mostly not sharing harmful tips. Almost everyone who has an ed tumblr knows that this illness that LITERALLY KILLS shouldnt be glorified. Have you noticed that once you become aware that eds exist you notice at least two people with an ed in your social circle? That is how fucking common society has made this illness. And Social media is spreading these behaviors and advertising them to CHILDREN as diets or ways to feel better about themselves. Grow up. Every teenager feels insecure and an eating disorder does not cure this. Anorexia is a highly addictive, competitive disorder. People literally starve out of spite. Do us all and the children who were not yet dragged into this bullshit a favor and DO NOT post anorexia stuff on Instagram or Tiktok or Twitter. It can and will kill.

Also please if you have had an ed for a long time I know how hard it is to get rid of the mindset. I feel you and I know that you need to vent, make fun of the shit youre doing or just chat about it. That is not the problem I'm adressing.

And if you have not had it for more than 3 months, please use the chance and get out while its still relatively easy. There are healthy ways to lose weight if that is the true problem. The root of anorexia lies in other issues and not starving does not invalidate your problems.

I love you all stay safe and please spread this because I am tired of people coming to this Website because they want to look like a kpop Idol they saw on tiktok and asking for weight loss tips. That is insane.

#low cal restriction #not pr0 just for myself #only pr0 for myself #pro 4na #tw edd #4norex1c #an0r3xic #ana relatable #skinnni #skinnnny #bonespp #bonespr0 #i want to be th1n #i wanna be a skeleton #i will be skiny #i wanna be th1n #i wanna be sk1nny #th11nspo #thinnn #tw ed in the tags #tw ed vent #skinnyyy #i wanna be small #waistsp0 #legsp0 #anorektyczki #anorexjk #anor3x1a #anorexsick #an0rex1a

[doverstar]

this is another lowercase anon, the same one from the posts last night but i didn’t do the last one. that person that last person mentioned though makes me feel even worse about coming out and saying that what you said was insensitive or dismissive as i’ve dealt with or am dealing with those things. they’re saying it’s stupid we were hurt by something and you don’t need to apologize. while i somewhat accept the answers you provided, that person is being very harmful to survivors mental states and basically straight up invalidating it. everyone has different perspectives and i think they need to understand that. but in that recent ask you answered, they straight up were being rude as fuck about trauma we have endured. you can say you’re allowing people to voice their own opinions but when those opinions are harmful to survivors, that is when they need to be called out. and with this case in particular it seems like you’re endorsing it.

Hi! There are two Lowercase Anons! The plot thickens. Like soup. (It's fall and I'm under the weather, I have soup on the brain-) I'm sorry what I've said hurt you in my posts. I apologized to the first Lowercase Anon, but I'm glad of the opportunity to apologize to you, too: I'm very sorry if anything I've posted about abuse/ED/anything hurt you. Never my intention when stating my opinions, especially about a fictional character of all things. So - I'm not going to call anyone out on anything for a little while. I'm trying to wash my hands of this whole incident and let 80% of me disappear from the Hellcheer fandom and the ST community altogether. I think that's best? But I also don't want to ignore people who talk to me; so I'm responding when they do! If you think someone needs to understand your thoughts, I think you should talk to them. I don't control other people - and I'm not responsible for their actions, either. Please don't hold me accountable for things other people say - in this circumstance or any others in the future! I can't control what you guys think of me. If I'm silent, you'll think I'm endorsing it. If I rage or fight because you tell me I should, there'll be more people upset on the other side of all this. It's causing further damage in this already-lengthy hurricane of online negativity that I never meant to kick off. If you decide to think I'm endorsing something when I've never said or implied that I am, I can't stop you. And if you decide to think I'm not endorsing something when I've never said or implied that I am, I can't stop you there either. Changing people's minds on the internet is an exhausting battle no one ever seems to win, and I think it's unlikely I'll be the Neil Armstrong of that fight. Thank you for reaching out!

#ask doverstar #asked #answered #the lowercase anon 2.0 #your own tag! :D #maybe I'll start making up names for ALL the anons that talk to me #that's fun #I want soup

[princessobituary]

I HATE HATE HATE when people disregard or invalidate my ed by saying bc I binge I dont have an ed?? like bitch do you know what an ed is? it stands for disordered eating, not every single person who has an ed starve themselves and that’s something y’all need to learn. Yes, I binge a lot, but its not “oh no I at two cookies I totally binged 😖” for me,, its “i ate 2 whole family servings of pasta and then threw it all up because I was stuffing my fucking face w it” please stop thinking that anorexia is the only eating disorder. People binge, people fast, people restrict. Just because it’s not exactly what you do, or what you see, it DOES NOT mean it doesn’t happen or isn’t real. Check yourself fr you aren’t looking v cute rn…

[the-powerhouse-of-the-cell]

dude ppl keep telling me about their insanely long fasts and that they’ve only binged once in their entire lives and i’m constantly feeling like a faluire and they’re practically bragging about not eating for 10 days/2 weeks/1 month like SHUT UPT SHUTUPSHUTUP SHUT UP

#ITS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY #I ALREADY FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR BINGING EVERY WEEK JSUT SHUT THE FUCK UP #i'm CONSTANTLY comparing myself to other people and i immediately invalidate myself when other people are sicker than me #so just please stop fucking talking #it's really triggering #thank u #ed tw #tw ed #and for context i binge pretty frequently and i haven't lost much weight (and the longest i've fasted is literal peanuts compared to them) #and hearing all these people being so much sicker than me while im whining all the time over nothing makes me feel like human garbage #so just. please shut the fuck up :)

[horriblyunprepared]

ED MYTHBUSTING

Eating disorders are NOT contagious! Stop treating them like they are. It’s a mental illness, just like any other...not contagious!

Thin celebrities aren’t The Reason™️ people have eating disorders, although the way thin bodies are presented may cause or contribute to feelings of insecurity or shame about food and the body.

The invention of size 0 and 00 are not The Cause™️ of eating disorders—and they aren’t unrealistic sizes, some people are just small and need those sizes.

That whole idea that we look in the mirror and see a big fat person when we actually look like skeletons?? It’s just not universal, and it’s strange to assume that it would be. I’m sure some people do have that experience, but it’s not universal. My eyes are fine, I can see my body just fine, it’s about feelings—not about what my body actually looks like.

Not everyone with an ED is super skeletal skinny, or white, or female, or able-bodied, or teenaged. Just like everyone else, we come in all shapes, sizes, colors, ages, etc. We aren’t all skeletal, white, teenage girls 🤷🏽‍♀️

For some reason, in all the fiction I’ve seen about EDs, the girl with the ED has divorced parents with whom she has a rocky relationship? Dysfunctional family situations are a big risk factor and can contribute to stress and disordered eating. But everyone has different experiences and, needless to say (I hope) some of us have good relationships with our parents, some of us have parents who aren’t divorced, etc etc. This one feels particularly harmful though, because it kind of implies that it’s the parents’ fault that their child has an eating disorder because they got divorced.... And divorced doesn’t always mean bad! *EDIT* Divorce can also be very good, as it ends marital conflict that can be traumatic to children and can remove children from a toxic and abusive situation. Unfortunately, this doesn’t erase the trauma that happened before the divorce and doesn’t mean that the divorce itself won’t be traumatic either. Children need love, care, and stability—which they can adequately receive from divorced parents, if no abuse is involved, but sometimes this isn’t provided and the trauma can manifest as an eating disorder.

People with anorexia DO actually eat. Sometimes, we even eat normal, balanced, sufficient meals. Which leads me to...

Not all days are bad days, at least not for everyone. I have an eating disorder, but some days I feel totally fine and normal. Just like any other mental illness...it’s not constant uninterrupted anguish.

“Diet culture” is not The Cause™️ of eating disorders, but it may contribute to feelings of shame about food and the body.

Eating disorders are “about” a person’s relationship with food and their body...but they aren’t really ABOUT a persons relationship with food and their body. For some people, it’s about control, or shame, or gender dysphoria, or fear of adulthood, or purity. For some people it’s about a fear of abandonment, fearing that people will leave you and not take care of you unless you’re sick.

Not everyone with EDs hides their body under baggy clothes! Not all of us feel the need or want to cover up.

Like all mental disorders, EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT A LIFESTYLE CHOICE. They’re complex mental disorders, trust me! No one just chooses to starve themselves, force themselves to vomit, eats until it hurts, or exercise till they pass out. These aren’t fun quirky lifestyle choices.

Not all of us “look sick,” you can be a normal weight and still have an ED. This goes back to #5. I’m olive toned and tan which makes my complexion look healthier than the skeletal, white, teen girl you’re expecting—that doesn’t mean I’m doing great.

Getting up to a healthy weight or “looking healthier/better” doesn’t mean someone in recovery is actually doing better. If they were in inpatient care, they likely HAD to gain weight to get out...this doesn’t mean the mental part of this MENTAL ILLNESS is cured.

On the other hand, being thin doesn’t mean someone, even someone with a history of EDs, isn’t doing okay. Again, and I cannot stress this enough, people with EDs come in all different shapes and sizes. Even if someone is “too thin” and in recovery, it doesn’t mean they’re faking, all bodies are different maybe this is normal for them, or maybe they arent at a normal weight for them but they’re really trying to gain weight and get better. Maybe they’ve broken the ED in their brain and are waiting for their body to follow—don’t invalidate their progress by commenting on their size.

Anorexia and Bulimia aren’t the only eating disorders! There’s orthorexia, diabulimia, binge eating disorder, OSFED, etc. No one is worse than another per se, everyone has different experiences, different severity, and no matter what ED someone has it is always deeply painful and everyone deserves help!

Not all eating disorders are connected to or caused by a single traumatic event or by any traumatic event at all. Everyone has different experiences, and some people are just predisposed to develop eating disorders...

If you haven’t guessed by now there is no single Cause™️ of eating disorders. People have different life experiences, different brains, different habits....

People with EDs are not an enemy to people in larger bodies, fat acceptance, body positivity, etc. That would be like saying that people with depression are an enemy to happiness and positivity, and I think we can all agree that that’s not the case. Body positivity is wonderful, and I’m sure there are far more people with EDs than you think who are strong advocates for body positivity or who want to be able to accept the body positive message but aren’t currently capable because of their disorder.

Having an eating disorder doesn’t mean that you just hate food, that you judge others for eating or what they eat, that you fat shame others, etc. I know a lot of people with EDs who LOVE food and are wonderful cooks. Some people with EDs may feel uncomfortable being around people who are eating, but not everyone feels that way. As with any insecurities, people sometimes project their body insecurities onto others—it’s not a great thing to happen, it’s not fun, but it is fairly normal and it doesn’t mean that someone with an ED is necessarily judging other’s food choices or body.

Treatment and recovery are different for everyone—and they should be different for everyone. It’s wrong and dangerous to administer the same treatment to every person with an ED. People with both Type 1 diabetes and an ED (usually, have been misusing insulin to lose weight) need vastly different care than someone with a different condition, and beyond that different people just need different care. No single thing works for everybody, it would be nice if that was the case though!

Please feel free to keep adding, it’s really important to bust these myths, stereotypes, and misconceptions. Just like everybody else, people with EDs are widely varied and diverse and it’s important that we recognize this to make it easier for people to recognize disordered eating and get help.

Feel free to comment on this post. Are there any ED myths I missed that really bug you? Am I wrong?? Let me know!

#ed recovery #ed #eating disorder #pro recovery #anorexia recovery #recovery #anorexia #mia #bulimia #anamia #bonespo #thinspo #not pro just using tags #pro ana #thigh gap #thin #skinny #rexie

[rawbins-undertale-blog]

This is a slight TW question, so feel no obligation to answer:

How would horrortale Sans react to an S/O with an eating disorder?

TW for eating disorder(s) (nearly only ARFID is spoken about, anorexia is mentioned)

If I missed any tags you think I should've included, please tell me.

This may sound a bit strange, but I’ve actually been wanting to write something for this, specifically because I suffer from an eating disorder. I’m not comfortable writing anything with an eating disorder (or any disorder in general) I personally don’t have, mostly because I don’t have the time to give it the proper research it deserves, so I’ll be writing about a lesser known eating disorder, that being ARFID. Let me explain it so people who don’t know what it is will, uh, know what it is lol

ARFID - also commonly called “Selective Eating Disorder” - stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. A lot of people with it are characterised as being “picky eaters”, but it goes to a point where it’s seriously unhealthy and crosses a line that makes it into something more serious. It has to do with sensory processing issues, rather than self-image issues (though self-image issues could also play a part in it I'm pretty sure, but it’s not the main “motivation”). Most people with ARFID actually wish they could go up in weight, but can’t because they can’t make themselves eat. I, for one, desperately wish I could just eat like a normal person, both because it’s very… not convenient to only have around 20 or less meals I can eat (and that list is slimming down as I grow tired of my safe foods*) and also I’m skinny enough to match Papyrus in looks, which isn’t very confidence-inspiring when you’re supposed to be a human and not a sentient magical skeleton, believe it or not. Whereas a person without ARFID could eat most things, including things they don’t really enjoy eating, somebody with ARFID might not be physically able to. For example, I literally throw up food that I don’t like (and I’ve gagged while eating food I do like due to seeing somebody eat something I don’t like and/or just smelling other food nearby). When I'm to try a new food, I have on more than one occasion gotten anxiety attacks. That’s how bad it can be.

*a "safe food" is food you know you can eat without panicking/throwing up/getting triggered in one way or another

I’ll be basing these HCs off of myself, so keep that in mind. You’re free to point out misinformation (and I, in fact, encourage you to point it out if I somehow got something wrong) but I ask that you stay respectful and don’t make fun of this. I doubt it would happen, but this topic means a lot to me and is really serious. So yeah please don’t be rude or invalidate people. Anyways onto the headcanons (which aren’t in the usual format, sorry if that bothers you)

Dusk (HT Sans) wouldn’t really understand. He’s able to eat pretty much anything (not like he had much of a choice for a while) and food is important… But he’ll try to understand. Especially because he can accommodate you. He’ll be fine eating the same meals, however “boring” they are, over and over because like I said: not a picky eater. Any food is good in his book. So long as you’re not restricting him and his food intake and so long as you aren’t dying from starvation and/or malnutrition, you’re free to do whatever.

It does annoy him when you go to social gatherings and you can’t eat the food because it’s not one of your safe foods. He’s not going to let you just starve yourself when there’s perfectly fine food just waiting for you. Not gonna lie, he’s pretty insensitive the first time this happens. Basically, he’ll pull you over when he notices you’re not eating anything and try to convince you to eat. Starts out really gentle and encouraging, but when you don’t budge he becomes increasingly agitated and insistent until he hisses that you’re making a fuss over nothing. Needless to say, you aren’t thrilled and it starts a pretty serious argument that probably ends with you either leaving, starting to cry or blowing up at him. He feels bad when it’s all said and done and apologises, because he realises after some thought that he wasn’t being helpful and he decided to do more research again. Even if he forgot it all like he did the first time he tried researching ARFID, it would have been worth a shot. After that, he’ll instead pack food with him for you whenever you go somewhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s “socially acceptable”, because like I said, you’re not starving if he’s got something to do with it.

He’ll also, after coming around to realise the best he can do to help you isn’t trying to push you out of your comfort zone forcefully, try to make sure there’s always at least one of your safe foods available. Don’t get me wrong though, he’ll still encourage you to expand on your list of safe foods. He’s got memory issues so he sometimes forgets, which he feels really bad about, but he has multiple alarms set to make sure you eat properly for the most part. (He’s got an alarm for nearly every minute of the day and he has his calendar full of things as mundane as “make sure s/o eats” and “do laundry”, by the way.) I have a tendency to skip lunch because I simply don’t like food, but he’d put a stop to that lol

To summarize, the whole thing with you having an ED starts off with the two of you having a rocky start before Dusk comes around to be really good at handling it.

Anyways sorry if you meant an ED like anorexia. I know most people write about things like that, but like I said: I’m not really up for writing things that I have to pour hours of research into to make sure I portray it respectfully and accurately because I don’t have that time or patience. (Or attention span, tbh.) Also, I literally hadn’t heard of ARFID for like… the majority of my life, I’ve only known it’s a “thing” for like. A few months. I really thought I was the only one who was so picky with my food and it made me feel alone and isolated (ESPECIALLY after I went to a "specialist" (not sure if she was actually a specialist anymore because her technique to get me to eat was to give my a small glass that I'd pour sauce into to try it every time it was served which obviously didn't work lmao) to help me when I was like six and she said she’d “never seen somebody this bad” before not giving me a diagnosis (as far as I know)), so if anybody with undiagnosed ARFID is reading this:

you're not alone. I know it’s difficult to deal with this - it can be humiliating and embarrassing and horrible and terrible in so many ways - but you can do it. It’s so hard, so fucking hard to step out of your comfort zone and try to expand on your list of safe foods, but you can do it. I believe in you. You aren’t alone and you can learn to have a healthier diet, please just try. I’ll be honest in that you’re probably never going to completely overcome this, ARFID is something that likely stays with you forever, but you can make it into a smaller problem. You can turn it into something so much smaller and inconsequential that you won't encounter any more embarrassing situations where you can't eat what you're given. To a point where you won't have to use the excuses "I already ate", "I'm not hungry", etc anymore. It’ll take time and patience, but you can do it. Don’t give up, okay? <3

#imagines tag #undertale headcanons #undertale imagines #undertale #undertale au #horrortale #horrortale sans #sans #y/n x sans #reader x sans #sans x y/n #sans x reader #selective eating disorder #disordered eating tw #eating disorder #eating disorder tw #eating disorder cw #arfid #avoidant restrictive food intake disorder #// eating disorder #// ed #disordered eating

[toomanyfandomsuhoh]

please stop misusing the word “queerbaiting”

hi, so I’ve been seeing a lot of buddie posts with the term “queerbaiting” inside, and I feel like saying that it isn’t queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is a very serious word to use and I don’t think it should be thrown around.

so, first of all, what is queerbaiting? Sarah Z made a pretty good video explaining what it is.

TL;DW (tho I strongly recommend you watch to educate yourself), a general definition of queerbaiting is that it is a deliberate attempt to hint at a queer relationship through editing, dialogue, editing, irl declarations without ever intending to actually portray the queer. It is usually done because creators want to attract the queer fanbase and gain more money without ever facing the possible backlash from homophobes and country bans and so on

classic queerbaiting examples include 🎉sherlock🎉 In the show, there's s o m u c h subtext (uh go look at some meta if you can't see where) hinting at johnlock. But the creators (mofftiss :'D) just make fun of it. It's played off as a joke where a lot of characters often mistake sherlock and john as a couple, john screams "i'M nOt gAy!!!" at them (yes dear we know you're bi, contrary to popular belief, you're not just a myth), people laugh at the "no homo bro" and the show moves on.

so, 911 is definitely not queerbaiting. It has good LGBTQ+ representation. 911 isn't queerbaiting because it already pOrTrAyS tHe QuEeR!! Quite loudly, I'd say. For example: Hen and Karen, Michael and David, TK and Carlos (technically in lone star but still-)

And these characters are the main ish characters. They have episodes and plot lines dedicated to them, and they aren't discarded once the show has a ✨badge of progressiveness✨. It's not like they went "boom you're gay"ed (cough Rowling cough) on the characters just to get support from the queer fanbase

911 portrays real challenges the queer community faces (unlike movies that only have straight gay teens <- go watch). So it's definitely safe to say that 911 doesn't queerbait at all.

okay, then what's up with the buddie relationship subtext?? Here's a pretty good article on the difference between "queerbaiting" and "ship teasing". TL;DR (again, do go read when you have the time, it's short), ship teasing is basically hinting at a relationship but not delivering it (yet?)

All queerbaiting is ship teasing but not all ship teasing is queerbaiting. The difference in between is that queerbaiting tends to focus and hint more on the sexuality part, instead of the romantic potential. Basically, not all queer subtext is queerbaiting. I really like the conclusion paragraph of the above article and it kinda says what I've been thinking. So I'm gonna quote it here:

Queer representation isn't as simple as characters kissing. It's about nuanced and diverse representations of LGBTQ lives. It's superficial to say queer rep is invalid if characters don't end up dating and it's even more superficial to say that if a queer relationship doesn't meet an individual's standards, then it's queerbaiting. This term is necessary for discussion of queer rep -- but please use it correctly.

I'm not saying "oh all hail fox, it's just ship teasing". Ship teasing could be done right and would be a fun little game to play with the audience if it's a slow burn.

But ship teasing could also hurt. A lot. If buddie isn't canon or endgame, all the subtext and the hinting will just feel like the creators are laughing and making fun of us. Well, I guess all we can do now is pray and hope lmaooo. At least give us bi!buck and maybe buck and josh🥺🥺

in conclusion: 911 isn't queerbaiting, please stop calling it that and make a prayer circle for slow burn buddie

anyway, this is getting a bit long and I have a ton of hw that I have been disregarding for the past hour. Please correct me if I got anything wrong or left out anything!!

#queerbaiting #queerbaiting tw #911 fox #911 lone star #buddie #ship teasing #evan buckley #eddie diaz #sherlock

[the-farmers-rabbit]

ADHD: It’s real and serious so please don’t mock it

Some of my friends (neuordivergents like myself) were sharing some cool shirts they found. Ones that were about autism and ADHD which is really cool to see. Then they showed a shirt that said ADHD (but like the ACDC thing). below it, it read “highway to HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL” and to say I got upset is a minor understatement.

For a few months I actually hyperfixated on ADHD, which was really helpful because I was able to learn a lot about the disorder I have and how other people are effected by it. As my understanding of it grew so did my acceptance of it. I stopped hating that part of myself and stopped blaming myself for things that my ADHD was responsible for. I gave it a persona (The ADHD gremlin) which made it easier to cope with it. If I was reading a passage and none of the words sunk in, it wasn’t because I myself was stupid. But it was because the ADHD gremlin was blocking the way. I learned to cope with it by making it a separate being.

Through doing that and through learning about how it actually works compared to a neurotypical brain, I began to understand how complex and, honestly, fascinating ADHD is. Every case is different. Some people have minor cases, making it easy for them to mask. Some people, like myself, have severe cases which, until diagnosed and treated, can lead to severe penalties in school and in life (I almost got put in special ed in elementary school but that’s a different story). And quirks were just as diverse. Some people ramble (like me and my wiggle buddy, @novas-space) other people write. Some people fidget with toys, others doodle, some fiddle. Everyone is different and it’s so amazing to learn about it.

Now, back to the reason I want to make this post. The t-shirt. I have seen a lot of stuff like that with “chase the squirrel”-esc wording and jokes on them. And at first, when I first got diagnosed, I was fine with it. I found it funny even though I can’t relate. But as I’ve gotten older and as I’ve learned more, tested with my medication more, done projects and papers and researched more about ADHD, the more that kind of joke pisses me the fuck off. 

Now, i get it. We do get distracted easily. Hell, I’m watching a show while I type this and am checking my discord every few minutes. Yes we get distracted. But I’m not a fucking dog. I don’t see movement on the ground and immediately drop my conversation or my book or whatever I’m doing. I’m not that simple. I’m not that dumb. People with ADHD aren’t dogs that get distracted by the doorbell ringing. We are complex people with actual disorders that, depending on the severity, can severely impair our way of life.

I have spent years, years, of my life, degrading and hating myself for something completely out of my control. I spent days paralyzed by the fear of constant failure, unable to do the thing that i was so afraid of failing. There are times when I am so understimulated that I feel like I’m dying and times where there is so much noise, I have to go to the bathroom and cry because I couldn’t handle it. I am not a fucking dog that you can fake throw a ball for and I’ll fall for it.

I have a disorder I have been diagnosed for and am taking medication to help me survive in a world not at all built for me. This world is built for people who have brains that work correctly and speak in normal tones and understand the deeper meaning behind texts and can crank out a paper in a few hours with ease. It’s built for people that can touch any texture and not feel suddenly nauseous if it’s the wrong texture. It’s built for people who choose to not do something and call me lazy when I physically can’t. It’s built for neurotypicals. It isn’t built for me. 

And it took so long for me to come to terms that no, nothing is going to be as easy as it was in elementary school and no, those people can’t hear the lights flickering and no, you can’t change every project topic to something you actually understand because “if you were confused you should have asked”. It has taken me so long to accept that I have ADHD. I have a severe case of ADHD. My brain doesn’t have a proper reward system, I have a hard time interpreting instructions, I can’t remember what I had for breakfast or if I ate at all, and I don’t know what a theme is. And that’s ok. 

So when I see something that is marketed for neurodivergents with something like “hey look a squirrel” on it and I get angry, I’m not going to let someone with a correctly functioning frontal lobe to tell me “chill it’s just a joke”. Because no. It isn’t a fucking joke. It’s something that I have to live with and you mocking it and invalidating it makes me upset. It’s my life that I have to survive because of a world built for NTs. So I’m going to get angry when something targeted to me invalidates my entire experience

#adhd #undiagnosed adhd #capitalism #neurodivergent #actually adhd #actually neurodivergent #angry rant

[gxdsetmxnsters]

have a rant because i am really really tired and pissed off. don’t fucking reblog this. don’t comment. sit down and keep your mouth shut or keep scrolling.

PSA: i have dissociative identity disorder, i have researched it, and continue to research it, and i make a point to analyze any and all characters that media likes to “portray as having” the disorder.

“Dissociative Identity Disorder does not cause visual hallucinations, nor are people able to see their personalities outside of the body.”

this is why gotham!ed doesn’t fucking have DID. this is why and i absolutely fucking hate people who headcanon him as having it, or him being a system at all. that 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 what it 👏🏻 is. fuck the gotham writers for making my eddie like that. fuck them and fuck people who buy into it. i’ve analyzed his character inside and out, I spiritually kin this character, he is me in a past life and that is not what was / is fucking going on. at best it’s a piss poor portrayal of psychosis, at worst it’s a fucked up fictitious amalgamation of psychosis and DID.

i dont normally gatekeep peoples headcanons because creative freedom but i will 100% gatekeep this one. ill die on the hill that edward nygma does not have dissociative identity disorder and is not a system in any capacity. i wish people would stop and think and realize that the writers only did what they did to make shit “more interesting”.

i know it might sound like i have the mentality that “only i can” have the headcanon because if you’ve followed me for a while you know i headcanon Ed as having DID, psychosis, and borderline traits (ALL OF WHICH I HAVE MYSELF) but i feel like i have some leniency because i have DID. if a person w/ DID says something is fucked up and not their disorder you’d think people would fucking listen.

at this point i don’t care if i make people mad or i invalidate their headcanons. i’m pissed off and tired of my disorder being made into an “uwu crazy person with split personalities” or “uwu murder baby with an alter ego”.

if you find this offensive then unfollow, i won’t be mad or upset about it. have your own opinions but keep them far away from me please and thank you.

#don’t fucking reblog #i WILL tell you to take it down if i find you have #don’t comment #i’m not in the mood to get into an argument #this is me simply venting about something #because i am at my wits end #and it’s been a really really bad day

[gaythingliker69]

PLEASE READ

TW: transphobia, mentions of hate crime

Hi, so since my post the other night I feel a sort of responsibility to tell people the situation of trans people in the UK. The short answer is it’s really bleak. The first thing I’ll mention is that in 2017 a trans woman was given residency in New Zealand from the UK as she faced “persecution” for her gender identity. The NZ authorities ruled that to send her back here would be “unduly harsh”. This must be at the forefront of everyone’s mind when trans rights come up in the UK, though it’s been forgotten over the last few years.

At that point the Labour Party was sort of ok for trans rights, with then leader Jeremy Corbyn calling for self ID. He certainly wasn’t perfect but he was better than his replacement. Corbyn was replaced by Sir Keir Starmer last year, and in his campaign for the leadership he refused to sign a pledge for trans rights, which was signed by his competitors Rebecca Long-Bailey and Lisa Nandy. The fourth contender, Emily Thornberry, refused to sign the pledge but spoke of her support for trans rights after the fact. Gemma Stone, a trans woman who said she was considering joining Labour but decided against it, described Starmer’s silence on the issue as “deafening”.

These days, Parliamentary support for trans rights comes from the backbenches - Members of Parliament who don’t hold a position as a government minister or shadow government minister. These include Zarah Sultana (the responses on that tweet are awful, but gives you an idea of what we’re up against) and Nadia Whittome of the Labour left, and Layla Moran of the Liberal Democrats, the first MP to identify as openly pansexual. Nicola Sturgeon, leader of the Scottish National Party, has called transphobia “not acceptable” in her party. However, Moran lost the LD leadership contest to Sir Ed Davey in 2020, so no party in Parliament in England and Wales has a platform for trans rights. Starmer has appeared to embolden transphobia by not cracking down on MPs like Rosie Duffield. We are very much on our own. Even on the far left, often accused of supporting trans rights as a means to undermine Western civilisation or something (I joke but I think you get my point), has major issues with it. The Communist Party of Britain has rumours and allegations of transphobia in its ranks, and the Communist Party of Great Britain (Marxist-Leninist) infamously referred to LGBT+ politics as “anti-Marxist” and “anti working class”. Are there no working class LGBT+ people? Regardless, even the people who are labelled as liking us don’t appear to.

And Johnson’s Conservatives are a non starter. Just this year, they proposed making unenrolled deed polls (a method of quickly changing your name) invalid. This would mean there is a publicly available list of trans people and other vulnerable individuals, like those trying to escape or disassociate from abusive partners. The process would require consent from any spouse (the only other process of this nature that requires this is gender recognition for trans people) and the addresses of those who have changed their names would be public knowledge. I shouldn’t have to tell you how dangerous that is. It also appears there is little being done to stop the rise in hate crime, which were reported to have quadrupled last year. Politics is openly hostile from nearly every corner, it would seem.

In terms of healthcare there has been a similar decline. The BBC described waiting lists of over 3 years for gender clinics as “hell” (bear in mind this article was written before the pandemic hit the UK), though there were claims on Twitter that these times were up to 60 months in some places. These waiting times can lead to people taking the unfamiliar and often expensive private route. The High Court recently ruled that under 16s are unlikely to be able to give informed consent on puberty blockers, a troubling ruling that could have dangerous consequences depending on how the courts extend it in the future. The ruling that puberty blockers can only be used after you’ve gone through the bulk of puberty is a really curious one from a logical standpoint - they are not hormones, they are not irreversible. But I fear that’s what the courts or Parliament will come for next.

If you’re looking for an alternative source with different information from someone older, here’s a decent thread on how British transphobia partly emerged from the Skeptics in the Pub movement, making it unique to this hellish little rock.

This overview is really brief, and it would require me going a lot further in depth to go into how the media has fed into this, the controversies surrounding certain private doctors, or different groups and dog whistles they’ve adopted. But for now, I honestly feel quite helpless. There’s not much you can do to affect Parliament, especially not with the new laws coming in around protest in the Police, Crime, Sentencing, and Courts Bill. Petitions are useless unless they’re done through the Parliament website. If they gain 10,000 signatures they go to a petitions committee, then maybe the House of Commons itself. Only to be almost definitely voted down by Johnson’s Conservatives and their majority. Just please, spread this for all of us living here, and give any sort of suggestions for action. I fear this is going to get far worse before it gets better. We can but hope I’m wrong.

Update: 05/05/21

There have been some recent developments that I’m gonna note. I might use this as a sort of compilation document of documenting our position here.

Maya Forstater was a contracted consultant at the Centre for Global Development. Her contract wasn’t renewed in 2019 after a series of transphobic Twitter posts caused staff to complain about her. She received support from the Index for Censorship and was able to crowdfund her campaign. At the Central London Employment Tribunal, Judge James Tayler branded her views “not worthy of respect in a democratic society”. He said that her views weren’t protected under the Equality Act 2010 as they “violated the dignity” of trans people due to her insistence on misgendering. Judge Tayler did not say she couldn’t conduct so called ‘gender critical’ campaigns.

Part of Tayler’s judgement from the above linked article, the judgement itself can be read here. Various views on the case can be found in the ‘Reaction to the tribunal judgement’ of the Wikipedia article.

Forstater appealed, and there is yet to be a judgement. However, the Equality abs Human Rights Commission has intervened to say that Forstater’s beliefs are protected under the Equality Act as they are philosophical beliefs. The irony in this should be clear. The equality watchdog making an effort to protect bigotry over people’s right not to face abuse. I’ll update this when the decision is handed down, which will be later in the year.

#trans #lgbt #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq rights #transgender #mtf #ftm #ftm transgender #mtf trans #mtf transgender #ftm trans #trans rights

[imtrying-butimpissed]

How do deal with hearing about diet culture? I’m in a relapse with my Ed (bulimia) for about a year now and how do i deal with hearing about weight loss, calories ect? I’m in the process of getting into treatment again and I’m currently working with a dietitian and therapist doing outpatient. But my dietitian knows I need more help than what I’m getting and with being in my home environment 95% of the time it’s been quite difficult to get better. My sister had started to lose weight during the middle of quarantine and is getting weight loss surgery soon and her and I had an argument because all I asked of her was not to talk about calories or anything about food while I’m trying to eat and follow my meal plan. She got all defensive and was saying how she shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells for me and that I need to handle my triggers better. I also struggle with borderline personality disorder which also makes it difficult for me to regulate my emotions. My family has always been bigger and even in treatment I was always the biggest one there and it was so invalidating. What I’m trying to ask is how do I try to get better in an environment that’s so invested into dieting but also how can I make my motivation for recovery better because I constantly put myself down and tell myself I don’t need to get better because I’m fat or not sick enough to get better.

Changing environment. Changing mindset. Changing support system.

I also lived in a similar environment but it was my mother who decided to be extra loud about calories right after I told her I was diagnosed with bulimia. She also had weight loss surgery and would show off how little she would eat and talk about how she would throw up all the time. It was the most infuriating and painful thing. It sent my ed spiraling and I struggled for years because of it and because if her negligence.

Sometimes the people who should care the most will end up caring the least. And there isn't much that can convince them to give a crap.

I wish I could give you some tips but if they don't shut the fuck up about it around you, you won't get better. And until they actually LISTEN to you and your needs, you will continue to struggle. Idk how old you are or your financial standing, but if you are able to find a different living situation, that would be pretty sweet and totally beneficial. If not, just avoiding them can help. I would have movie marathons alone in my room to avoid my triggering family. I'd also eat by myself too.

Getting rid of opportunities for triggers is cool. Stop spending time with them. Doesn't do you any good.

I know it's super common for literally everyone with an ed to think we aren't actually sick enough. Dude the fact that you even took the time to ask me about it proves you are suck enough. Someone who isn't sick wouldn't be in treatment, wouldn't be with a dietitian or therapist or in outpatient or be needing more treatment options. Someone who wasn't sick enough wouldn't be in all of those things you are in right now. Someone who wasn't sick enough would not be triggered over diet talk from people around them. You ARE sick enough.

You need to tell yourself you are sick enough over and over until you believe it yourself. Even when people around you don't seem to believe it, what matters is if YOU believe it. What they think is irrelevant. Your recovery is about you, not them.

Put your time into other people. Whether it's friends IRL or even people online. Put your time into people who actually support you, and stop putting your time into the people who continue to trigger you.

I have a hard time with keeping my cool too especially with confrontation. Writing it out in a letter could be helpful. Getting your thoughts out in a nonconfrontational way, and giving it to your shitty family so they can read it and not feel threatened, and then can respond in their own way. You could even request they only respond to your letter by writing their own letter. Takes out the emotional conversation part. Try it out.

Also... There isn't going to be any instant fix. The reality is, not everyone is able to make the changes that will benefit them best. Especially changing environment. Packing up and moving to someplace new isn't really an option for a lot of people. It's fucking shitty but sometimes you just gotta power through. Gotta deal with it until you don't have to anymore. If you can't move now, you certainly will in the future. And you gotta keep fighting the good fight until you get there. You know?

It DOES get better. It's happened to me, it will happen for you. It really does get better. Keep fighting until you get there, trust me.

Please take care

#ed recovery #ed anarchy #edrecovery #ed warrior #pro recovery #recovery #eating disorder recovery #ed relapse

[jojoisafan]

Thoughts on POTN chapter 62, especially on Seungho

might contain some grammar mistakes, i'm sorry i'm kinda tired

I stated previously but I'm gonna do it again. I still like Seungho's character and I very much understand his actions.

Y'all gonna really tell me that a person can deal with trauma only INTERNALLY? Like stop, it kinda makes me disappointed in this "we accept everyone" community when a person only has free pass when they cute and shy and can easily cry and these kind of stuff. Nah, there are tons of people out there who do and say things because of trauma. This is invalidating to some people and me, too.

My dad left me, a lot of friends, especially best friends left me, some even said hurtful things that weren't true. I was jealous in friend-relationships and I always assumed the worst, when we argued I was nearly always "you don't even like me" and "you're tired of me" or "you don't wanna be friends with me anymore". With my current best friend, the situation was like: we were in the same class in hs for 4 years, only became closer friends in the last 2 years, ONLY became literal best friends in the last year. You can see my trust issues and stuff. While it was always that I had a lot of friends, it was just people. You know, we talk, we drink together, but not really friends. I'm at that point that if someone steps out of me life, I'm just ":I okay, i didn't even need you".

BUT! But! If I were telling someone that I loved them and they left in the next minute, I would go batsh*t crazy. No rational thoughts (and I'm a very rational person, I don't like emotions lol), no 2 plus 2 equals 4, just what I see in that situation: that I told them I loved them and they left.

You all understand that Nakyum didn't tell right away that he was kidnapped. If he was rational, he would know that in that minute Seungho would put two big ass men in front of Nakyum's room, or even lock him up in his own until he finds out who the heck did this and definitely make them pay. But he's also in a very traumatized place right now, he can only think about dying, his thoughts are clouded by the feeling of near death. That is, my people, emotional thinking.

Now, Seungho, a lot of people doesn't understand that he also has a deeply scarred soul and heart. (I mean, they know it because we got a minor background story but they don't understand it) He also doesn't think rational, that's something that a lot of people like to pinpoint. But why would he????? He let his guards down, gave his heart on a silver plate to Nakyum and in the morning he was alone. Alone, again.

I don't like that everyone is so accepting towards Nakyum and hold Seungho to a different bar, like he can't be afraid of losing something/someone or feel certain kind of emotions.

Also, it's the sign of good writing. BD didn't broke character with Seungho, it's not a freaking fanfiction where you can write #outofcharacter and everything is solved. Change doesn't happen overnight, do not ever expect that Seungho becomes all lovey-dovey sweet and caring seme because you don't like slow paced stuff and only here for the fluffy smut. (Also I personally really loved that we got a smol confession and a tiny but of sweetness but it was taken away in a blink of an eye. Yes, I like to hurt myself.)

With this, I didn't want to discredit Nakyum or anyone who deals with their problems on the inside. I also didn't victim blame Nakyum, I very much understand him too. I'm not saying that Seungho is a saint and he should be forgiven when it comes to physical abuse because he did a lot of sh*t with his actions, but please, pleaaaase don't start to hate on him when he or the story didn't meet your expectations, if you wanna drop it so bad, why didn't you do that when he took advantage of Nakyum? Some of you guys just don't make sense. The cancelling of BD is also f-ed up, I can't say anything.

#seungho x nakyum #baek nakyum #yoon seungho #yahwacheop #byeonduck #rant that no one asked for #potn #painter of the night