Somewhere Only We Know (Long Way From Home Series Part 2) sneak peek
Here is a very, very like VERY brief sneak peek. Just remember Val's trials and tribulations aren't over. Stockholm Syndrome and other types of trauma bonding are not love. They're just that: a trauma bond. Trauma rewires the brain so no, some victims are never okay and are not immediately happy when/if separated from their captor. I'd be happy to answer more questions about it (I see a lot in my work :( )
141 notices there's something...particular about Shadow Company's only female operator. @josieguts because they asked to be tagged :)
This is a sequel to my work, Long Way From Home in which Graves captures 141's translator and takes her as his prisoner in a desperate somewhat well-planned idea to keep tabs on 141 after his betrayal. She puts up much more of a fight than he expected.
Read here!
Triggers for Long Way From Home are many. It's a dark fic, so I will post triggers here JIC. MDNI, 18+ TRIGGERS: Implied/attempted suicide, self-harm, torture, brainwashing, physical abuse, mind fuckery, Stockholm syndrome-related mental gymnastics, trauma bonding, mentions of foster care, threatened/implied/referenced rape, EXTREMELY dubious consent, flashbacks of torture, female being drugged. Self-hate in this one :( If I miss, any let me know, please! DARK FIC! Kinda Dead Dove.
Now, Somewhere Only We Know has less of these triggers but still will have some of them. Disclaimer: I don't know what will happen in MW3 but I have the storyline of this new fic more or less figured out. I'm guessing there's a ceasefire between 141 and Shadow Co. due to Konni being the bigger threat.
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SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW:
“She’s ours, Graves, like she’s always been,”
“No, you abandoned her!” Graves roared.
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You were in a hospital room when you saw Price walking in with a phone held to his ear. He was angry. His body language screamed his emotions. He was on the phone…
With Graves.
Graves’s voice on the other side of the phone was mad…from what you could hear. You didn’t hear the whole conversation but some of it involved you. You heard a few phrases from Graves, all with a more pronounced Southern accent. His accent got more pronounced when he was emotional whether he be feeling angry or sadistic. Where the hell is she? You had no right. She’s my prisoner. You planned this shit and separated us on purpose.
Price put the call on speaker.
“You tell ‘im that you’re safe and that you’re done with ‘im,”
“Val?” Graves’s voice his voice saying your name.
You reached for the phone.
“Nah’uh,” Price pulled the phone away. “Tell him,” Price demanded. “That’s an order.”
You looked at the phone.
And then at Price.
And then at the phone.
“Val,” Graves’s voice told you he was uptight, upset, and on the verge of throwing the phone in his hand through the fucking wall.
When it was clear you weren’t going to tell Graves what Price had ordered.
“She’s ours, Graves, like she’s always been,”
“No, you abandoned her!” Graves roared.
You asked to talk to Graves and were denied. “No,” Price said firmly.
You briefly heard Graves say something about Shepherd.
Price hung up.
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Now don't judge our 141 boys too roughly. Pretty sure they've never recovered a female soldier from a prisoner situation. :( They're doing the best they know.
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on penny and bojack
Recently replied to a reddit post about penny and bojack that was basically trying to pin most (if not all) of the blame on Penny for what happened after her prom. This was basically my reply (edited for tumblr). Also if you find my reddit, no you didn't!
Spoilers below.
The first time I watched this episode, I also thought that Penny was being stupid during this part and was partially to blame for what happened. She definitely needs a little lesson on taking a "no" and consent, but I came to realize that Bojack was also, once again, being selfish and wrong during this storyline. Remember, Penny is JUST over the line for sex with a major to not be considered statutory rape. Bojack at the time is in his 50's. That's pretty disgusting. I concede, Penny definitely shouldn't have kept pushing and accepted Bojack's no. Her behaviour isn't excusable either and shouldn't be simply written off, but we have to keep in mind that Penny is only 17. She isn't aware of the implications of this sexual encounter. She clearly needs to relearn a bit about consent and accepting rejection, but she is a TEENAGER and the fact is that she shouldn't be in this position in the first place.
Bojack isn't stupid. When he dances with her on the top of the water tower and tells her she looks like her mom, he knows he still has feelings for Charlotte. He knows his history of sleeping with younger girls that he is a father figure to (ie: Sarah Lynn) and making terrible shitty decisions. [OP said] it was common sense for Penny to know where this would go, because Bojack has a crush on her mom, but Penny didn't know that at the time. In fact, I would flip it around and say that it's common sense for BOJACK to know where this is going to go. Bojack knows that he still wants Charlotte, he knows that Penny is young and vulnerable and willing. And very similar to her mother, as he says on the water tower. He knows his history, his feelings, his recklessness better than anyone.
I also don't believe Penny was ever "playing the victim" or trying to ruin Bojack's life. We see when Bojack goes on the bender with Sarah Lynn that Penny almost has a panic attack when she sees Bojack. One of her first questions is, "Did you come to find me?" It's heavily implied that Bojack literally gave her a panic disorder. And this is all without even being able to see how Bojack has affected her relationships and ability to trust people! Bojack was a father figure or at least an older man that Penny looked up to and trusted. I'm sure him wanting to have sex with her has affected her future relationships and caused her to be deeply mistrustful of anyone who shows interest in her.
Although he refused the first two times, that's just proof that he knows how fucked up it is when he eventually accepts. He knows he shouldn't and he knows exactly how wrong it is, and yet he does it anyways. There is no excuse for this. If Bojack weren't so self-centred he would have gone straight to Charlotte to tell her what Penny had done immediately to make sure it doesn't happen again. But he doesn't, because he's selfish and a coward. He wants to stay here longer, please, just a bit longer, away from LA and from the mistakes he's made and the people he's hurt and the consequences of his actions.
If anyone disagrees or wants to discuss anything I said, please do. I've lately come to realize more that Bojack is actually just a really shit person as a whole (not to say he can't be redeemed or he isn't deserving of love) so this post is more Bojack-negative. Will tag Bojack neg with #bojack neg so anyone can mute if they don't want to see it.
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The Daddy rape au - izuku's pov in aftermath (a potential)
Transfers out of school bc inko aint having it - probably does online school for a the end of middle school
Still ends up meeting all might & getting ofa
Before that tho he absolutely gets invited to the hospital when hitoshi is born & is the first person after shouta to hold the little hero (he is immediately dubbed godparent & uncle)
Shouta and izuku dont see each other often in the next year, but izuku does get into UA, shouta's class like in canon
Theyre both v happy to see each other again tho shouta really wants to know wtf is up with the quirk situation (izuku tells him eventually - no secrets between them, esp dangerous ones that adult figures are telling izuku to keep without letting him have a support network - we're not having that shit again)
They have a chat and decide to change their nicknames to be less triggering, so shouta goes from ainiki to nii-chan, and izuku from izu-chan to zuku/zu-kun
Izuku doesnt change clothes in front of the others bc The Whole Ordeal made him extremely sensitive to being naked around others and/or sexualized in any way (first time someone flirts with him sincerely he freaks out)
Meanwhile, mineta is a *-phobic bigot and when he talks some transphobia in the class, izuku rails against him so hard (secretly in defense of shouta) that mineta calls him trans and izuku doesnt deny it (even tho its wrong, bc thats not the point), so at least half the class suspects izuku is in fact a transman (theyre fine w that its nbd)
Kaminari, in a bid to show how totally trans friendly and accepting he is, invites izuku to change in the locker room w the rest of the guys, insisting that its all good he's got nothing to worry about, cmon!
Except he goes a little to hard and persistent with it with little explanation of why he's so insistent, which ends up with izuku becoming so uncomfortable he gets shouta for morale support and musters up courage to pull kaminari aside and tell him to "please stop trying to get me to take my shirt off its creepy and im uncomfy" and kaminari backpedals hard and immediately, apologizing and becoming a defender of izuku's right to keep his clothes ON.
(Izuku also tells him hes cis and kami believes him)
(And that aizawa was there bc he and izuku are personally close, not bc he was gunna give kami detention or smtn - they dont explain the closeness other than saying they met some years ago)
Kaminari is also there for izuku's above mentioned flirtation freakout and he gets aizawa to help. He learns that izuku doesnt like being sexualized & that aizawa is "nii-chan" brother to izuku.
Months later in the dorms (fuck canon storyline and timeline, idk and idgaf) someone (probly ashido) ends up pulling izuku's shirt fully off him to like look at an injury he's got and izuku freezes, feeling exposed. Kaminari walks by and yells at them, gets izuku back into his shirt and then takes him fully out of the building away from that bs.
Izuku pulls himself together mostly and gives kami a hug while (trauma-dumping) telling him that he was repeatedly raped a few years ago & thats why he cant be naked around others. Kami is understandably shocked and appalled, and izuku decides they both need a curative dose of hitoshi hugs to feel better.
Kaminari ends the interaction w the (somewhat incorrect) understanding that aizawa was the hero who saved izuku from the rapist. And also becomes friends w the 3yo hitoshi who is delightful and loves his sparks.
Later that night kami has nightmares about izuku being hurt and goes to him asking for more details (pls god say it wasnt a family member...) and izuku tells him a little more but still doesnt elaborate on shouta's presence or why he calls hitoshi "little hero".
As this all happens first/early second year, kaminari is currently the only person aware of izuku's trauma in any way - bakugou knew he was involved in Something when they were younger that pulled izuku out of school but he didnt care enough to look into it and doesnt know more.
Kami and izuku are good friends
(kami's occasional casual flirting & his compliments to izuku's appearance hint at a possibility for something more, which izuku picks up on and they have a vague talk of "im not ready for anything", "hey no worries, i didnt ask :] no pressure". They dont follow up on this other than keeping the potential in the back of their minds.)
This status quo is mostly maintained thru school and past graduation.
By then izuku is dating todoroki (they have not had sex but izuku has told him some of his trauma) and they move in together after school
All goes well for the next year-ish until izu and todo try to have sex and izuku forces himself thru it despite horribly triggering himself and desperately wanting it to end. After they both finish, izuku is sobbing and locks himself in the bathroom eventually getting kami tocome over and help mediate between him and todo.
They try to talk it out and work things out the next few months, but they dont manage to return to a comfortable status quo and break up. (Izuku, as much as he tries, cant feel comfortable being touched by todoroki anymore and ends up moving out before they fully breakup)
During the "we can work it out" period, izuku spends a lot of time being comforted and distracted by kaminari
Shouta makes note & comment that they clearly have affection and care (and probably love) for each other, is that going to go anywhere? Izuku just says he's not ready, and kaminari says he's not asking rn
Kaminari, jsyk, isnt committed to dating anyone rn but does often have casual sex w a few fwbs (this is also part of why he hasnt asked, but izuku does make clear later during some midnight talk that if they did date, he wouldnt ask kami to stop having sex w other ppl - honestly he feels like it kinda takes the pressure off him)
After a short stint living w shouta, izuku gets his own place. He spends a lot of time hanging out w kaminari - at both their places.
And during one hangout, izuku thinks back to highschool when kami tried so hard to make him feel like one of the guys, able to hang out casually without a shirt, and he decides to try it out now. He takes off his shirt - no sexual intentions - and watches kami play a video game on the couch, aggressively trying not to make a bug deal out of it.
When kami notices, he picks up on that and while he smiles proudly at izuku, he doesnt comment and just makes izuku play the game this turn, cmon im sure you'll do great at it!
This goes a loooong way towards making izuku feel more comfy in his own naked skin and they practice until its no more than a hesitation - a self-check-in - before izuku will take off his short around kami (who also regularly joins in the nakedness, no need to make izuku feel alone!)
And when their skinship leads to making out leads to stumbling through mostly-clothed sex (that izuku actually feels comfortable during, even with the multiple hesitations and stop-starts and "pls dont say/do that actually"s. Tbh all that actually contributes to his comfort), izuku feels ready and denki asks him out
And they fit Very Well together
Sex is Not Frequent and theyre both still exploring izuku's boundaries and hard limits, but izuku finally feels comfortable and safe enough to try.
He tells kami not to call him baby or sweetheart, so instead he goes with "pretty boy", which makes izuku blush every time, and they find a safe middleground with "babe".
If izuku closes his eyes for too long during sex, he tends to forget who he's fucking, so he gets kami to tap him with a safe little spark every now and then to remind him (kami fucking adores how izuku's started relaxing at the little jolts)
They are Endgame and this is why/how.
Eventually kaminari finds the old case report & trial 'Midoriya v. Shinsou' that goes into the detail of what all happened and how aizawa was actually involved and how they finally got out (their little hero...), and when izuku comes over he helps him process what he just read bc fucking hell izuku you were 12 years old- and aizawa was- for a year?? Fuck-
They go over to aizawa's house, hang with little hero hitoshi (who really isnt so little anymore, he's like 11 now and shooting up in height) and talk to shouta and hizashi and all of them help kinda talk him through it and offer their support
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Have you been asked yet to rank Trust eps? Cos I'm asking! But your the criteria for ranking I leave to you to decide.
Ahahahaha I’ll have you know I put way too much thought into this. :-D
Ok so first of all, there is no such thing as a bad episode of Trust. The whole thing is really tightly written, every character and plot thread has a purpose, and even the episodes that I haven’t watched over and over again are important to the overall story. And a lot of the impact of the show comes from things that are cumulative over multiple episodes.
That being said, I do have favorites. Since the definitive ranking of Primo’s outfits has already been taken care of, here is my ranking from least to most favorite based on some nebulous criteria of artistic/narrative effectiveness and emotional impact, my judgement of which is obviously highly subjective and also correct.
Under the cut because this got ummm unbelievably, ridiculously long.
10. The House of Getty (episode 1)
Sorry Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy, the pilot is my least favorite episode. Still think it was the wrong choice to open with a flashy (and, I can tell, expensive) sequence showcasing the death of a character we literally never see again. And, look, I’m an impatient viewer. If I don’t get someone to root for/emotionally identify with/otherwise catch my interest early on in a narrative, I’ll tune out. And Old Paul is not only unlikeable--far from a mortal sin in dramatic storytelling--he’s boring. I don’t care about any of his rich people problems, and I’m not the kind of viewer who can be kept engaged just by hating someone and watching them be terrible.
Some of the secondary characters in the Getty household do have interesting plotlines, but we don’t get to learn very much about them in the first episode. And I do think things get interesting once Little Paul shows up (although I maintain that the whole episode is more interesting if we understand what the stakes are for Paul getting the money), but if I had started watching this show with no context I wouldn’t have made it past Old Paul’s pre-coital erotica listening routine.
If this had been anything other than the first episode I might not have ranked it last, but extra penalty points for leading with your least interesting characters.
9. Lone Star (episode 2)
This episode is, I think, saddled by the fact that it has to do a lot of heavy lifting in terms of exposition and setup. It mostly works because Chace is an entertaining narrator, and once we get to Italy with Gail I think things zip along at a pretty good pace. Opens with an attempted rape to show how Bad the Bad Guys are, which is...not my favorite trope.
Once again, I think a lot of the information in this episode would have worked better if episode 3 had been episode 1. (We’d already know who Berto was when Chace meets him; we’d already know about the box of guns in the apartment; we’d know when certain characters are lying.) This whole show runs on the suspense of the audience being the only party who knows what’s going on with all the characters at once; I think trading mystery for suspense here was the wrong move. I also can’t help thinking there was pressure to front-load the well-known American actors in the beginning of the show at the expense of the strongest narrative choices.
Imo the best thing about this episode is the sort of...multiple competing images of Paul that emerge. His mom sees him as an innocent victim who couldn’t possibly have planned any of this. Chace sees him as a spoiled rich kid trying to swindle his granddad. Neither one of them has the complete truth.
Next we get into some episodes that are certainly not bad, but their greatness is more on the level of some bangin’ individual scenes than a whole package.
8. John, Chapter 11 (episode 6)
Again, this isn’t a bad episode. The main reason I put it near the end of the list is that the first time through I got sort of impatient during the first half. We, the audience, by virtue of our extra-textual knowledge, know that Paul can’t be dead, and we spend about half the episode before we know what really happened to him, which felt a bit too long to me.
This episode does have some fantastic individual scenes including: Leo talking Primo down in the farmhouse, Leo and Paul’s conversation about Angelo’s death, Gail being an absolute badass, and the meeting between Salvatore and Old Paul. A lot of these scenes are essential on a thematic level, but I don’t think the episode as a whole is the most streamlined.
7. Consequences (episode 10)
I debated for a while where to put this episode because the overall feeling of 57 Chekov’s guns going off in the space of one episode is SO satisfying, and the resolutions of some of the individual plotlines are delicious. Ultimately I would have liked more space for Paul and Gail and less Old Paul being grumpy about his substitute child museum’s mediocrity (although the scene with the bad reviews is hilarious). Once again I feel like the show creators felt they had to pull the focus back to Old Paul to wrap things up and I just. don’t care.
That being said. The resolution of Primo’s storyline? SO SATISFYING. And tbh I don’t dislike the scenes that exist with Paul and Gail; even the happy scenes have this poignant tone to them. I think they were trying to deal with the fact that his irl story is just...incredibly fucking tragic, and you can see a bit of the strain showing.
6. Kodachrome (episode 7)
I know episode 7 is not one of your personal favorites, but it’s the one where I think jumping between multiple plotlines/sets of characters is used to the most satisfying dramatic effect. It has this sense of dramatic irony that feels like some Shakespearean family tragedy. The whole episode, we are hoping that Paul Jr. will finally do the thing we want him to do, which is stand up to his father. And he does it--but at the absolute worst, most selfish and destructive moment possible.
Paul Jr. may be the literal worst, but I do have compassion for him in the flashbacks, mostly because it seems painfully apparent that no matter what he does, he will never be able to please his father. But he doesn’t seem to realize this, and he keeps trying, even as it’s destroying him and his relationship with his family. Credit to Michael Esper for his performance for making me feel a smidgen of compassion for this bastard.
I think the other thing this episode shows is how both of Paul’s parents keep putting him, a child, into roles and circumstances that he shouldn’t really be in. He’s wandering around through what seem like very much adult environments with his dad and Talitha in Morocco. In the Trust version of events he’s there when Talitha ODs and is the one trying to revive her while his dad is having a breakdown in the corner. Gail seems like the more responsible parent but there’s something about her bringing Paul as her “date” on a night out, and the understanding that this is a thing that happens regularly...to me the disturbing part is not so much bringing a young kid to a party with adults but the unspoken expectation that Little Paul will fill the void of companionship that his father has left empty. (Gettys expecting Little Paul to step in to cover for the failings of his father is a repeated theme, and it even plays into the ear thing. His family has failed to pay the ransom, so this is now a problem he has to solve himself.) Combine this all with Leonardo going, um, excuse me but what the actual fuck is wrong with your family? and I think it makes a very effective episode. And the last couple minutes had me yelling NOOOOOOOO GODDAMMIT because you can see what’s going to happen and you’re just watching it unfolding like a car wreck. Also has one of my hands-down favorite scenes, of Paul and Primo in the car waiting for the ransom.
5. White Car in a Snowstorm (episode 9)
The ~ D R A M A !!! ~ This episode is an opera. I mean this whole show is dramatique but episode 9 really leans into the vivid imagery--that snowy highway in the mountains above the sea, the all-white ransom exchange, Paul clinging to the pole at the shuttered Getty gas station, some Very Serious Mobsters throwing the ransom money around like idiots in a moment where you’re encouraged to be happy along with them.
This is also one of my favorite episodes for Primo and for Primo and Paul’s weird sometimes-alliance. Primo walking away from Salvatore to go tell Paul “they always pay in the end”? Primo and Paul teaming up to argue with Salvatore about why Paul shouldn’t die? Primo being all threateny to the doctor treating Paul because somewhere deep down he is worried (that’s my take and you’ll never convince me otherwise)? Primo dressing up to fake-scab on a postal strike in order to find a misplaced severed ear? All gold.
Fun fact: the letter Gail writes to President Nixon did happen in real life, but as far as I can tell the phone call did not. The real details of who convinced Old Paul to finally pay (some) of the ransom are considerably less cinematic. They’re the same amount of sexist though!
Ok now we are getting to the top tier...
4. That’s All Folks! (episode 4)
This is definitely the episode that took me from “ok this is fun” to “oh holy shit I’m invested now.” It’s the episode where we get introduced to most of the Calabrian characters and their world. It’s also the episode where we start to realize that Primo is not just a fun antagonist but is really a parallel protagonist to Little Paul, with his own set of relationships and motivations that we start to see from his POV. (I’d argue that, with the exception of his very first scene, we’ve mostly seen Primo through other characters’ gaze up until episode 4, and this is the point where we start watching him as like, the character whose pursuit of a goal we’re following over the course of the scene.)
This episode ranks high for capturing so much of the weird mix of tones that makes Trust work. It can be very funny. (I never fail to fuckin lose it when Fifty is on the phone with Gail the first time and when he’s talking to the thoroughly unimpressed newspaper switchboard operator.) It has this weird unexpected intimacy between characters you wouldn’t think would connect with each other. (Primo and Paul, Paul and Angelo; in retrospect the arc of the relationship between Primo and Leo gets started in that scene in Salvatore’s kitchen.) And it has one of the show’s absolute best record-scratch tone shifts when Primo gets the ransom offer. I remember saying “oh FUCK” out loud the first time I watched the end of that episode, when Primo comes back to the house, visibly drunk and clearly furious. We’ve seen him be violent plenty before now in the show, but always in a controlled, calculated way. This is the first time we see his potential for out-of-control rage-fueled violence and he’s terrifying!
3. La Dolce Vita (episode 3)
I stand by my claim that this episode (with a few minor continuity adjustments) should have been the pilot. Can you imagine a title card that’s like “Rome 1973” and then away we go with Paul snorting coke and taking racy photos and jumping on cops and fucking his girlfriend in what is definitely not proper museum etiquette, and then the smash cut to Primo intimidating and robbing and murdering people? And that’s the opening of the whole show? And you’re like how are these characters connected and then they meet each other and it’s the fucking sunflower field scene??
Anyway aside from the fact that I think knowing the information in this episode would have made episodes 1 and 2 more interesting...it’s just a great fucking episode. It’s kinetic and propulsive and funny and tense and violent and features Primo’s sniper skills and his ass in those cornflower blue trousers. I rest my case.
2. Silenzio (episode 5)
I’ll be honest, I went back and forth on the top two a bunch. Silenzio is definitely my personal favorite episode, and I’d argue that it’s the best written, in terms of what it accomplishes narratively, which is to keep you emotionally invested in both Paul and Angelo trying to escape with their lives, and Primo and Leonardo hunting them down. That’s so fucking hard!! And yes some of it is great acting but it starts from the foundation of the writing. It’s just such a perfect little self-contained horror movie, and it has this profound sense of fatalism to it, because you know from the beginning (if only by virtue of only being halfway through the series) that Paul is not going to escape, and you sort of know that there is only one way this will end for Angelo. And yet they escape by the skin of their teeth so! many! times!
It’s also the episode where you see how much power the ‘Ndrangheta has over people’s lives in this community: Salvatore is like God, calling his servants to him with the church bells. Combine that with the visuals of two characters running for their lives mostly on foot through this unforgiving landscape, and you really get the sense of this environment as a harsh place where most people have a very constrained set of choices, and the claustrophobia of that. You get the sense in this episode that everyone is trapped in these expectations of violence and duty and honor. Angelo did what anyone with compassion would do, and saved Paul from what seemed like certain death, and he’s doomed for it. At the same time Primo is doing exactly what anyone would expect him to do in response to a subordinate who disobeyed him. In some ways the end of the episode feels inevitable, unsurprising, and yet they do SUCH a good job of winding up the tension until the literal last seconds of the episode, and then releasing it with a big dramatic bang. It’s so good!!
1. In the Name of the Father (episode 8)
Ok I’ll be honest the ONLY reason In the Name of the Father edged out Silenzio for the top spot is that it is really clear they pulled out all the stops in terms of making this episode feel extra heightened in a show where everything is already heightened. Like, the cinematography is different? They still use handheld a lot but I swear there are more still shots and more extreme, editorial camera angles like that shot of Francesco looking upward in church where the camera is looking down from above him. I can’t tell if they actually tweaked the color grading or if the bright white and blood red just stand out against the Calabrian color palette which is mostly earth tones, browns and greens and blues.
There are just. So many layers to this episode. The imagery! The literal sacrificial lamb at the beginning, Francesco being guided by Leonardo through an act of violence against an animal, something that I’m sure they don’t even see as violence but just part of farm life, part of survival and in this case part of a celebration, but something that fathers teach their sons how to do as part of becoming a man in this world. Paul as the metaphorical sacrificial lamb later, drawing parallels to Jesus (the lamb of God), Isaac (a father sacrificing his son), any number of martyred saints, pick your Catholic imagery. The blood of the lamb on the tree stump and Paul’s blood on the stone. The communion wafer (the body and blood of Christ) and Francesco at the end with Paul’s blood and a literal piece of his body held in his hands the same way.
And then there is like, the suspense of watching everyone marking time through the steps of this community ritual that’s supposed to be a joyful, communal celebration, while we know that there is a secret ticking away under the surface. The slow unfolding of the lie told to one person spreading to everyone in the village, and then the knowledge that Salvatore knows spreading to all the people who’ll be in trouble for that. The relationship arcs between the main Calabrian characters...not resolving, but sliding into place for the final act. Primo finally being done with Salvatore. Primo and Leo’s alliance being cemented and Leo physically stepping between Primo and Salvatore, to protect Primo. (No one ever protects Primo!! Still not over it!!!!) The confirmation celebration as a mirror of the Getty party in episode 1, the parallels drawn between the 3 Pauls and Salvatore-Primo-Francesco and how Primo reacts to being passed over as heir vs. how Paul Jr. reacts. Little Paul having two whole minutes of screen time and managing to break your heart with them. Regina! Just...Regina’s whole everything. The music going all-instrumental for an episode and having this haunting, dreamlike but still tense quality to it. And the fact that we never cut away from Calabria to another plotline gives the whole episode this hypnotic, all-encompassing quality. It’s just. SO GOOD!!!!
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L0ne St@r 2x12 Hate Watch
DO NOT REBLOG THIS ONE - thanks, I’m trying to fly under the radar with my negative opinions here
Usual disclaimer, and I mean it this time: If you watch and love this show, that’s great and I hope you continue to enjoy it. Please don’t read this - simply go about having a lovely day.
If you do love this show and T*rlos and are braving this anyway - do not come in here. I mean it. This is not a T*rlos friendly zone. I do not ship it. Please enjoy your ship in peace and harmony. I have no intention of getting into arguments with anyone, I will simply ignore you.
I have done everything I can to avoid this showing up in the tags, whatever the LS tags are. Don’t send me hate on anon because I’ll delete them; I don’t care if you think I should stop watching the show, I’m not gonna. I like to suffer.
Eddie Diaz for calm and strength and to centre ourselves:
Hate, as always, under the cut:
Let's do this fucking thing, I've heard bad things about this episode
And I already know I'm wrong about the arsonist which is ANNOYING but maybe also too obvious so that's okay, I also know who the arsonist is and all the main plot points but I’ve still got to watch it to really appreciate the subtle nuances of the episode:
Oooh Billy
I ship it
Billwen for the win
This show is so dumb
Billy is smarter than Owen, maybe he should be the captain of the 126
I miss his lightning scars though
He's TWO HOURS LATER FOR DINNER
TK is looking as bland as always
They seriously waited for two fucking hours for this guy
Maybe should've put some deodorant on before going to dinner there Owen
You know I can't imagine the OG doing a storyline as dumb as this
So Carlos' dad thinks it's someone who works at the 126 or just a firefighter in general?
Well gosh darn it, it looks like Owen fits that profile exactly!
At least we get some Judd early in the episode and I love him
Angela Bassett is executive producer on this show as well? I hope she gets paid cash money for this
Billy is the red herring and I fell right into their trap
I just really wanted it to be him
Ooh Grace was listening
Oh it's 100% the arson investigator and Billy is 100% turning Owen in, I love him
Billy is amazing
He's my favourite character on this show
I hope he's not working with Owen to get the arson investigator? I hope he's actually this devious
I want him to be THIS DEVIOUS
Why the fuck does Owen wear that hoodie everywhere
TK is now having a little bitch fit
"they can't do that, can they?" he asks in a monotone, his face blank and devoid of expression
TK's real real dumb
Oh ho ho is this the shoving scene
IT IS
God Ronen CANNOT ACT
Okay so while I think it is wildly unbelievable that they would send TK's boyfriend to tell him that his father had been arrested by HIS father – it seems like a conflict – I would like to say that Carlos is being calm and reasonable
And TK is acting like a little BITCH
This is escalating quickly
Oh TK you so dumb
THE SHOVING
Wow
FOUR TIMES
Wow
Your fave is problematic, yo
Carlos deserves better than this whiny little piece of shit
And now, an interlude while I rant:
Let's talk about how Eddie Diaz yelled at Buck once in a supermarket and the fandom has never forgotten it; how his character has been villainised despite everything else going on in the show at the time, for that one fucking scene – let's talk about all the fics where Eddie hits Buck, or punches him, or rapes him – because you know those fics exist – let's talk about the "Eddie is violent" narrative that parts of this fandom like to push because Eddie yelled at Buck, one time, once, in a supermarket
Totally ignoring the fact that at no point at all, in any other episode he’s been in, has he been violent towards Buck, at all - let’s talk about how the street fighting arc was out of character for Eddie, because he was struggling to cope and looking for an outlet - let’s talk about how Buck and Eddie moved past that whole storyline and strengthened their relationship; how they built a family together, how they’re a team and they have each other’s backs no matter what, and how, not once in the entire show, have they ever been violent towards each other or pushed each other around in anger - NOT ONCE.
And let's talk about this scene, where TK, ya boy, ya sweet tender boy, just shoved the man he says he loved four times, violently, in front of people at the firehouse.
I betcha any money he doesn’t get tarnished with the Eddie-Diaz-is-violent brush, because he can do no wrong. He’s the fan favourite, and this is totally glossed over by the end of the episode and nothing will ever be said about it ever again.
Because wow, you guys. Wow. If this was my ship, I’d be pissed.
Back to the hate watch:
And I know that whole fight is for nothing because I know the plot twist – I know that the dads are working together in order to reveal the real arsonist, the investigator – so they've basically turned their children, who are in a relationship, against each other?
Also why is Billy allowed to be watching the interview?
Goddamn do we really have to show the gruesome burn victim photos
I really want Billy to be devious by the way, and not in on the plan
Oh here comes TK, looking like the little bitch he is
God he's a fucking awful actor
This is the dumbest plotline ever
Equating OWEN STRAND WITH THOR? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
BLASPHEMY
THOR IS THE GOD OF THUNDER
OWEN IS A DUMBASS
THE TWO ARE NOT EQUAL
Uh oh here comes the evil investigator
Do either of these men – Owen and Carlos' dad – stop to consider that what they're doing has kind of an impact on their children, who are currently in a relationship? No? Okay
Because this is one hell of an awkward situation
Does Owen genuinely think that Billy is the arsonist?
Interesting that the arson investigator wants any info Owen didn't give Carlos' dad, and he turned off the cameras/mics etc
This show is stupid
Arson investigator also knows that the sons are dating, interesting
"And you can pound sand!" oooh great comeback Owen
This episode is so BORING OMG
Why the fuck am I watching a shitty Law & Order knock-off when I should be watching a bonkers 911 episode
Oh no Judd's at Billy's
I really do think Billy Burke is good looking and it is a flaw of mine, I don't know what it is about him and he really doesn't look that good in this show but I really love Billy Burke okay
And I WANT HIM TO BE DEVIOUS
Oh Judd
Oh Judd thinks Billy is the arsonist
See this is why YOU DON'T LIE TO THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
Oh he punched him
God damn everyone is violent in this show
Judddddddddddddd
Uh oh here comes trouble to the "vagrant's" hospital room
Oh it's the arson investigator, their little bluff worked, incredible, amazing, flawless etc
Wow how amazing
It was the ol' switcheroo
Judd punched Billy for nothing
TK and Carlos nearly came to blows for nothing
Now Owen is allowed to watch the interrogation? They'll just let anyone watch those things these days
OH MAN ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT BILLY WAS IN ON IT WITH OWEN THE WHOLE TIME?
Damn it I wanted DEVIOUS god damn it
Fucking cowards
"I assumed it was probably a trap at the hospital which is why I went there anywhere"
But why is he lighting fires
A FEW MONTHS?
A man is dead
Pure theatre
So annoyed that Billy isn't devious
But the Billwen ship sails on, clowns 🤡
Do we think the arsonist has the hots for Owen? 100% yes, right?
He's very happy to see him wink wonk
This doesn't even feel like an episode of 911, it's so goddamn dumb
"I knew you had darkness in you too" – that dude definitely wants to fuck him
Why is he lighting the fires?
They're so dumb
"And now I'm going to repay the favour" – he's talking about YOUR SONS
WHO HE KNOWS ARE TOGETHER
Wow these two dumbasses really have no fucking idea do they
OH HE'S BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE
Wow this is graphic
What the fuck is up with this show and the horribly graphic scenes lately?
That dude is dead yo
"Take away everything that's important to me" AND HE CALLS THE FIREHOUSE FIRST
THE FIREHOUSE IS THE FIRST FUCKING CALL???
Oh okay it did blow up and TK was there so I'll allow it
But hey look on the bright side – Owen gets to remodel again!
And isn't that what he's the best at?
Yo your firehouse is on fire dudes, better call the fire department
Does Judd apologise to Billy or no
Oh here we have TK and Carlos and their perfect love
And Carlos is the one apologising?
No.
Please tell me no
Carlos you are allowed to be pissed at him – ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
"nobody has to apologise?"
YOUR BOYFRIEND PUSHED YOU AROUND
Oh my god
Wow
Okay.
Look I'm just saying that to me this would be a GIGANTIC RED FLAG but wtf do I know
I'm just saying because I have to – if Carlos was a woman and TK did that? Whole different story gang
Whole completely different mother-fucking story
This show, wow
Wow.
Wow. This is bad.
Domestic violence happens to men too, just saying.
Wow I'm so annoyed that I've paused it to type furiously and rant that wow, they're just not acknowledging that TK was totally out of line? Okay. Wow.
And everyone's just fine with it?
Oh they're just figuring out that he set more than one fire
Maybe there's something else you care about other than the firehouse, Owen
Maybe?
BILLY IS THE ONE WHO FIGURES IT OUT
See this is why Billy is the best
Oh no TK and Carlos are in danger
Oh it's so romantic isn't it? They're gonna fuck now that everything is okay
Wow he left a lot of bombs in Carlos' house
Damn Carlos is hot
No smoke alarms?
That fire has really taken ahold there guys
I'm gonna assume you do have smoke alarms and he disconnected them
Wow he really covered all bases didn't he
Put the bombs in the bedroom as well
RIP Carlos' nice house
"I love you too" after I violently shoved you around today
Oh who needs a fucking fire department when you've got Owen fucking Strand right?
"Carlos" he says flatly. "How are you doing?" he asks in a monotone
"I should've had an extinguisher in the bedroom" DUDE NO ONE DOES
And if TK wanted one in there, he's the fucking firefighter, he should've checked when he moved in instead of assuming like a dumbass
God this show is dumb as fuck and I hate it so much
Billwen for the win
"just a couple of crap magnets" fucking a-men Judd
This show sucks
Oh no TOMMY OH NO
WHAT'S HAPPENING
OH MY GOD
WHAT THE FUCK
What the fuck
Is he dead?
TAKE OWEN AND TK INSTEAD
I’m going to say one more thing about this T*rlos storyline - if they’d done this to Buck & Eddie in the OG, I’d be fucking devastated. Like... if Buck or Eddie pushed the other around the way TK pushed Carlos around, I’d be absolutely gutted. It’s really horrible that they went down that path - whether it’s OOC or not, and you can probably argue that it is - they shouldn’t have included the scene like that in the show.
It just raises a whole slew of questions, like... is TK violent? Is Carlos used to being pushed around in relationships? Is the show saying that it’s okay that they got a little physical because they’re both men? Domestic violence is never okay, and this is kind of... saying that it is, in certain circumstances?
That is problematic as fuck and such bad writing.
These two are in a relationship where they are living together and supposedly love each other, and this is how the writers choose to portray it? If you’re a T*rlos shipper and you’re upset about this episode, I get it. It’s really fucking terrible that they included that scene - and I would bet cold hard cash it’ll never be addressed again.
This is why LS is a bad show. It’s shitty writing. Shitty storylines. Characters who are interesting are shoved into the background and glossed over in favour of the male white characters. The OG doesn’t have this problem - for everyone complaining that Eddie hasn’t been featured as much this season (and yeah, I hate it too) - you can’t complain that the characters of colour don’t get equal screentime.
With LS - it’s the Rob Lowe show, and everyone else is just in the background. And that’s why it’s so frustrating to watch - they have a great cast, and this could be a really good show, but it’s just not.
Do you think the LS writers patted themselves on the back after this arc and were like, "yeah we nailed it, we're amazing?"
This episode is -1,000000/10. This show should be cancelled.
Two god awful miserable fucking episodes to go.
Diaz to cleanse:
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You and Me...
Chapter 16
***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non-con, male!rape, injury, violence, description of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self-harm, panic attacks, implied female non-con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.
***Chapter Warnings*** Language, Fighting, Somewhat domestic violence, ANGST!!! So Much Angst!! This one is a heart breaker, you have been warned... I can’t say too much it would give too much away...
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Word Count: 1671
A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one!
Summary: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter your course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getting through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…
Want more? Check out my masterlist!!
***MASTERLIST***
***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***
Jensen and yourself had been back in Austin for three days now. Things seemed to be moving in a whirlwind ever since the two of you landed. Jensen's phone never seemed to stop ringing. The word hadn't even got out yet that there was going to be a 16th season. This was literally the beginning of things and people are already driving him crazy.
They always wanting something, his opinion, his advice on something, his demands and wants for the preparation of filming. Always something.
To top it all off, the baby mama drama was getting a little ridiculous. Jensen had to tell Danneel that he was going to be filming again. To say that she was pissed was an understatement. From what you could hear from the other side of the room, you were pretty sure his being gone filming all the time was the root of their marriage problems, and she was still a little bitter, so she wasted no time in throwing his children in his face, along with the amount of time he won't be able to spend with his children.
Once she was done yelling at him about how he was a piss poor excuse for a father for 'abandoning' his kids and going to 'play' in Vancouver again while she stayed home and raised his children, she had hung up in his face.
You had learned, just like you hoped to God Jensen had, that this was just her way when she was irritated. Normally when Danneel would blow up on him like that she usually would call back and apologize in a few days, trying to keep the peace so that the children could still see both their parents without courts getting involved and all that mess. So far they've done a pretty good job at it too. Better than you've seen some couples do and that was even with the fighting.
After that stressful phone call, he was on the phone another hour with the producers discussing possible storyline revival's, characters, actors they could get back, and actors that couldn't come back right away. When he finally got off the phone for the night you heard him throw it across the room.
"One more fucking phone call tonight, and I swear I'm gonna lose my shit on the person on the other end," you couldn't help but laugh at his use of the “Dean voice” for that particular colorful expression of his frustration.
You were just now getting around to unpacking the bags from your trip to Georgia. Most everything you had brought was put away, and you had moved to Jensen's bag, sorting through clothes, putting them in their separate draws.
"Babe, have you seen my phone charger?" he asked, walking into the bedroom and looking through what part of his bag you haven't started unpacking yet.
You couldn't answer.
You were standing there with your back to him, holding a small zip lock bag that you'd just found in the bottom of his underwear drawer. It had about 6 small blue pills inside of it.
Your blood started to boil.
Has he been using your back? What the fuck were these?
"Jensen... What the fuck is this?" you asked, turning slowly, holding the bag up so that he could see it.
His face momentarily turned a little paler. Then he got angry, closing the distance between you and jerking the pills out of your hand roughly.
"Its none of your fucking concern is what it is," he said, turning away from you, and marching toward the door.
Your head told you to just let it go, but your mouth thought otherwise.
"Excuse me?"
The words slipping from your mouth before you could stop them.
He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around to glare at you. "I said, it's none of your fucking concern,"
He crossed the floor in a few short strides to where you were still standing next to the dresser, and was now towering over you.
"None of my concern," you say, nodding your head. Your blood felt like it was boiling, you were so angry. You knew you should have just let it drop, but for some reason, you just couldn’t stop.
"All this time, Jensen, I thought you were getting better you were just stoned," you say looking him dead in the face.
"I am getting better. You haven't been through what I've been through. You don't understand, so just drop it before we both say something we'll regret.”
He was really close to you, towering over you. His voice was deep and angry.
"So what Jensen? Every time we've had sex this past week... you had to get fucked up to do it?" you spat out before you could stop yourself.
Pent up stress was taking itself out for a stroll at the world's worst time. Yeah, Jensen had been through hell, but the stress on you hadn't been exactly nonexcitant either. You had been right there with him through this whole ordeal, even agreed to move in with him so he could recover at home, agreed to be in a relationship with him, even though you knew he was still recovering. Right now you just felt betrayed.
Jensen's face turned red with anger, his pupils dilated with adrenaline...
Suddenly, without any sort of warning, he shoves you hard in the chest, knocking you flat on your back.
You just laid there for a moment in complete shock, until the shock started to fade, and your heart shattering on the ground around you.
You never thought Jensen would put his hands on you like that. You had pushed too hard, you knew that. Still, you never thought he would put his hands on you to harm you in any way. The aching in your chest where your heart used to be hurt way more than the bruise that was sure to be forming on your back.
Jensen was still standing in front of you, but you couldn't look at him.
You didn't realize you were crying until you saw a tear fall on your hand. You wiped your face, but it didn't stop the constant flow that was streaming down your face now as you slowly sat up on the floor.
"Y/N, I... I'm so.. so sorry.... I didn't mean to do that."
He sounded panicked, but you couldn't think straight at that moment. Hell, you couldn’t even look at him.
Your mind was no longer working right. It was like nothing made sense at that moment, and all ability for rational thought flew right out the door. All you could see was the look of pure, white hot anger on his face when he shoved you. Your mind playing it over and over again in your head.
He reached his hand out to you, but you shoved it back hard, sidestepping him you grabbed your bag that was on the bed and started shoving your clothes into it; blinding tears falling. Your heart felt like at any moment it was just gonna give up beating altogether.
You loved Jensen. You loved him more than your own life. You'd given up everything for him. You were getting ready to travel across the god damn country so that you could be with him while he was filming.
All those nights you sat up and held his hand while he was very sick from the panic attacks and the nightmares...for what? Was that how he wanted to repay you?
You had only jumped on him about the pills just now because you loved him, and were concerned that he was causing himself more problems than he was helping by using what looked like some sort of drugs as a crutch.
"Baby... No.. No, you can't do that... Please I'm sorry. They're just Xanax. I was taking them to help me to sleep right when I got out of the hospital. The nightmares were too bad. The panic attacks were taking over to the point I couldn't even get out of the house... Baby, please stop.... I'll never do that again, please."
He was talking fast, trying to stop you from putting more of your things into your bag. You jerked your bag away from him and threw it over your shoulders. You didn't really register anything that he was saying to you. Your mind and heart were stuck on what he'd just done.
"I'm going to Alex's house. We need some time apart," you tell him and turn away from him, heading toward the front door with him following close behind you.
"Y/N PLEASE DON'T' DO THIS! PLEASE I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU, BABY. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU! I DIDN’T DO THAT ON PURPOSE, IT JUST HAPPENED BEFORE I COULD STOP IT!!!"
He was completely panicked, trying to grab you and stop the whole way to the door, but you just kept shoving him off.
Part of you knew he was panicking, and that he didn’t mean it when he shoved you. You almost stayed. You almost turned around. Part of you said this was not helping his recovery process. You knew that he would have bad days and that this was a bad day, that he didn't mean to lose control. It was your own fault, you should have just let him walk away and cool off. You had just pushed his buttons.
Then there was the hurt part of you that said he just didn't want to be by himself so he wanted you to stay, but really he doesn't give a damn about you, and this is proof.
You slammed the door in his face and walked to the car, he jerked the door open and ran after you, calling for you, but you just got into the car without a word, starting the car you began to back down the driveway, and onto the road.
He followed the car out into the middle of the road, begging you to come back.
You blocked it out.
When you looked in the rearview mirror the last thing you saw was him on his knees in the middle of the road with his hair in his hands.
Screaming...
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So I've been getting into BL's a lot lately... And I just kinda need to rant a bit so if you don't wanna read it u don't have to but it's nice to write it down
I just wanna say, I'm not going to stop watching BL's cuz even if they have a bad part or something like that, there is still also a lot of good shit so yeah
ALSO THIS CONTAINS A SHIT TON OF SPOILERS OF ALL THE BL'S I'VE WATCHED SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION
(BL'S MENTIONED: HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count, TharnType, WHYRU?, 2fether the series, My Engineer, YYY the series, en of love: tossara, love by chance & dark blue kiss)
First of I'd like to say fuck you to the last ep of the show I just watched (HIStory: Make Our Days Count). Fuck you for letting us believe that they finally got what they had been fighting so fucking hard for since episode 2 only to rip it our of our hands with the last episode by killing of 1 of the main characters. Killing him wasn't even that good for the storyline, before the show had such moving messages and now it just had 'life sucks and everyone you love dies'.
Because of this I will be ignoring the last episode and they will have had the happy ending they deserve in my mind.
Then I'd like to ask you to stop torturing and killing our fucking LGBTQIA+ REP. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND A SOLID NON TOXIC GAY RELATIONSHIP IN ANYTHING OTHER THAN BL'S?! Well, really fucking hard. Every gay in non-bl shows either gets killed, their partner gets killed or they end up in a weird and not really ok relationship with the partner.
The show I just talked about: killed one off, do I really need to say more
TharnType: Type was molested as a child and Tharn befriended a psychopath who is the cause of all of his heartbreaks. And Type needs to break Tharn's heart to save him from said psychopath and the whole experience def leaves them with PTSD. Also said psychopath set up Tharn's previous boyfriend (the one before Type) up to be gang raped by 3 older men, filmed this all, made it look consensual due to drugging the boy and then using the film to blackmail said boy into breaking up with Tharn and into helping said psychopath drive Tharn and Type apart. Resulting in a heartbreak that shook Tharn to the core and I think the whole ass fucking fandom can argue it might have made him suicidal if he didn't find out why Type broke up with him.
WHYRU?: The whole Fighter thing I have talked about before which was fully out of character and we never got him apologizing to Tutor for basically asulting him and almost raping him. Also, Fighter stands up to his homophobic dad once and suddenly his dad does a full 180 and supports his son's relationship, cute try but no, not how it works.
My Engineer: my fluffy boys Ram and King are hopefully, since the show has 3 more eps left, in good hands. But as soon as Duen and Bohn got the labels bf/bf the writers just kinda pushed them to the side. Resulting in Duen being a boyfriend that pulls away from everything and seems to be more into a friendship than a relationship, and into a Bohn that can't take a no and let's his emotions have the best of him. Mostly anger and jealousy. Writers please take care of my sons will you, damn it.
Love By Chance: I hope to dear god that season 2 is better than season 1 because season 1 had a shit ton of flakey or just no consent. AND. CONSENT. IS. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. UNDERSTAND. THAT. PLS. But, besides the small consent issue it's a great show. Too bad that one of the characters has to be blackmailed by a duck who wants to out him to his mom. Let's all sign a petition to put Trump down. Yes, Trump like president Trump, just not the same person. ~only the same dick personality~
Dark Blue Kiss: I love this show and the Kao/Pete pairing but I'd like Non to just fuck off. Although he did make the story line so I guess he was needed, which is the only reason I tolerate him. Still want to stab him, and want more domestic and cute Kao/Pete
En of love: tossara and 2gether the series: are one of the only shows that haven't mayorly fucked up. Although 2gether could have used some more romantic scenes/kisses in the end but eh.
YYY:The Series: only has 3 eps yet and I can't decide if the story line will fuck me over or not. What I do know is that it's full of meme references and that the writers definitely did drugs, makes it all the more gold tho
So in conclusion. I want western TV to stop queer baring me. And I want all of the TV to stop killing and torturing the characters, unless it's plot driven. Such as in DBK and TT. Although TT should chill...
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Its Time We Talked About Tape 9: a rant
this is long, idk how it got this long but yeah, it did and i’m #MAD
ok let’s fucking do this, i’m so angry at this stupid storyline. first of all, to clarify the narrative in the book aka source material - the party is not at jess’ house, it’s some random person from their year, it is confirmed by hannah that jess and justin barely know each other, this is just another party hook up... so, pretty much happens similar to in the show up until justin leaves to stand outside the room. bryce shows up, hannah doesn’t name him or jess only justin, he tries to open the door, he's like ‘let me in’ and justin shuts the door and is like ‘no let her sleep’, then he says, as a joke, ‘it won’t be any fun, she won’t move, she’ll just lie there’ and bryce is like ‘i’ve gotta go to work, i only need a few minutes with her’ and that’s ALL it takes and justin lets bryce go in, so much so that bryce does a double take, he’s like lmao seriously, it was that easy? and when it’s over, hannah sees justin sitting in the bedroom next door, completely in the dark and he looks very sad. (now catch me if i’m wrong but i swear to god, and i haven’t been able to find it since reading for the first time, but there is a bit where hannah says she asked justin about it at school and he refused to do anything about it? i’m not sure but i swear i read it but idk)
NOW let’s clarify how the fucking SHOW fucked justin foley over more than he deserved. ok lets get down to business friends. so justin leaves jess when she says she needs to close her eyes for a few minutes, and he stands outside the door. bryce is like ‘come play beer pong’ and justin refuses on the premise that he’s hanging around for jess because she’s super drunk... meaning, she can’t defend herself, it’s her own bedroom, and he wants to stop anyone from going in there to take advantage of her. bryce says some shit like ‘i bet you had some fun with her’ and if you fucking watch justin his whole expression changes in that one second, and he looks disgusted with bryce for even implying that he would take advantage of jess while she was drunk. and bryce goes ‘can i see?’ he goes to open the door, and justin stops him and he’s like, barely able to even form the sentence, ‘dude, she’s... she’s my girlfriend’ wholeheartedly he knows bryce is trash at this point, he wants to tell him that she’s unconscious, or wasted or sleeping, but that would do fucking nothing to stop bryce, so instead he hopes that jess being his girlfriend will stop bryce, that bryce would respect him that much to just go away and not do this. but bryce doesn’t.
now here is when it gets technical. bryce says ‘what’s yours is mine’ right, and justin won’t even meet his eyes, and end flashback from justin’s point of view. now the scene is very jumpy to imply that justin is drunk, he doesn’t remember everything but there is nothing to imply that what happens in that scene is a lie, that justin is lying. it is legitimately his memory, because he isn’t recounting this to clay, he feels guilty even for this. right? ok so swap to hannah’s point of view, when bryce walks into the room, you can hear (and there is subtitles of it) [body thuds] and the sound of someone being shoved, or falling, right outside that door in perfect timing for bryce entering that room. so, you get my drift? justin didn’t give in to him and bryce shoved him out of the way, and justin, being fucking drunk and terrified because bryce wanted to do something and justin had no idea how to stop him, took a moment before he stood up. NOW we go back to justin’s second flashback and when it begins he isn’t standing at the door?? like you would expect someone who just let bryce walk into the room without argument, without a fight, just gave in? no it takes him a few steps to get back to the door, he was SHOVED!! and the show never mentions it, just implies it! so i ask, does being extremely drunk and scared, being shoved out of the way mean that justin is responsible for “letting” jess get raped by bryce? does he deserve endless hatred and disgust from everyone at liberty??
he recovers moments after being shoved out of the way, he knocks on the door, he is hoping that bryce just wanted to look, he is genuinely trying to convince himself that bryce would never want to do this, no one answers so he goes back in and see’s bryce lying on top of jess (which, not to get fucking mad again but in 2x12 justin’s testimony says that he saw bryce “standing over jess” but when you see the scene in his memory, bryce is clearly on top of jess... so obviously, these writers have never watched their own show #confirmed) he goes up and he’s all calm, he’s like ‘c’mon dude get off her, leave her alone’ and bryce gets REALLY angry, and can we please just remember in this moment that justin grew up his whole life being physically abused by aggressive and awful men and so when bryce shoves him out, justin protests but he doesn’t fight back because he knows he can’t win. he’s terrified. bryce shoves him to the ground and he waits 0.01 of a second to shut the door and lock it, and if that’s what we’re supposed to see as justin “letting” it happen, then that’s FUCKED up because he’s drunk and he’s scared. that really fucks with your head. your reaction time is slower, and your brain activity is slower because alcohol fucking does that shit. and when you’re scared you go into fight/flight/freeze mode and it’s very obvious throughout the show that when in danger justin freezes, he doesn’t fight back and he doesn’t run. he just freezes. he tries to get up. he does you can see him try and move but it’s difficult. and he just starts to cry. same thing he does when he gets choked by seth in 1x12. and so obviously he thinks of what to do, he admits in 2x12 that he did consider calling the police, and calling for help, but he was afraid. and so yeah, what if he had called the police? well its not like the cops were AT the party? by the time they got there jessica would still have been raped, and nothing would have changed. even if justin managed to stand up and get help? bryce would have violated jessica? he had legitimately no way of stopping what happened in that room...
so does that mean he “let” jessica get raped? that it is his fault that she was raped? ... this traumatised kid who was sexually assaulted in his own bed at FIVE and it went on for years, this kid who loved a girl so much, this poor lonely kid who had never had anybody love him except for the two people in that room. and putting aside actual details and specifics, rape is the rapists fault, and the fault of an accessory who wants said thing to happen and stands by and actively lets it happen when they could easily have done something.... eg. monty, kenneth and taylor raping tyler. THAT is an accessory to a crime, not justin being drunk and scared and trying to stop bryce but having his own trauma resurface... and it’d be great if the writers understood this. Here is the thing: with everything that the show has revealed post tape 9, it’s completely fucking unreasonable to keep up this demonisation and disgust toward justin’s actions that night out of trauma... the show wants us to empathise with traumatised characters, we’re supposed to forgive angry outbursts like alex MURDERING bryce, and moments of panic like jess witnessing his murder, or clay going bryce’s house with a gun because he's all fucked up, TYLER LITERALLY TRYING TO SHOOT UP THE FUCKING SCHOOL DANCE because he's been raped... but the writers somehow drew the line as justin’s lifetime of emotional, sexual and physical abuse making him understandably scared as his best friend raped his girlfriend...
and you know fucking what? if the show had kept this narrative from the beginning, that it’s forgivable and understandable that justin was scared, that we can see him work through his own trauma, and that he was also a victim that night, he was hurt and he was betrayed and he made a mistake, he didn't commit a crime, that he should not he hated for what he did, he is not a monster, he is not despicable or irredeemable. he didn’t LET anything happen to jessica. he TRIED to stop it but he couldn’t. if the writers but as much effort into getting the audience to understand why justin froze as they did hannah, they would be doing more for mental health advocacy than they’ve ever done. justin would not be a villain. people would fucking get it. they would empathise. but because the show points at justin in tape 9, and fucking says “he is a monster” viewers believe it, because they can’t see past the one dimensional narrative. there would be argument, people who wouldn’t understand, but if they took that narrative from the beginning, it would still make sense.
it’s gross to antagonise a 16 year old boy for panicking in a situation no one ever teaches you about. where are the 10 step plans on what to do when your best friend who you rely on for your entire livelihood comes into your girlfriend of two months who you really love’s bedroom at a party to rape her, while all involved are drunk, and you’re a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and have been physically abused and neglected your whole life? hmm? where are they?? the show preaches moral ambiguity but then pulls this shit and wants you to think justin is the Worst™ ever for what happened in tape 9... hannah and justin were in the exact same position but no one ever says that hannah “let” jessica get raped? where exactly is it different? both of them never told jessica the truth as well?? on the phone call in 2x08 you can see how hard it is for him when he lies after she asks him if they hooked up... like i’m sorry but yeah it wasn’t fucking great but jessica was RAPED and of all people justin knows how humiliating and painful a memory that is to live with, so understandably he didn’t want to be the one to ruin her life? he thought he could keep her safe, he never thought he was letting a fucking rapist get away, and yeah, he feels SO bad about it and it was a mistake that he can rightly be held accountable for. but he didn’t do it maliciously. he didn't keep it from her cause she said something nasty to him, or because he thought she deserved it, or because he didn’t understand the pressure or any bullshit like that. he knew more than anyone. hannah got raped and she killed herself?? wouldn’t you want to take the awful memories away from someone you loved if you could? he stupidly let bryce walk free, and he hates himself for it, but he didn’t do it to protect bryce. he did it to protect jessica, and himself. he’s not a monster. he's not on the same level as bryce, or monty... nowhere near it in fact.
if they wanted us to see justin as responsible for “letting” jessica get raped then SHOW us him doing something irredeemable. we can watch a whole fucking rape scene but... we can’t just have a second long clip of justin letting bryce open the door? of him getting up off the floor, shrugging and being like “this might as well happen” ?? give us a reason to believe he did something wrong even despite his trauma because that isn't OKAY. not demonising valid fear responses from a csa victim and abuse victim. in the book: justin lets bryce in. he doesn’t go in to stop him. he doesn’t fight back. he doesn't cry from behind a locked door... valid reasons to call him out on it. justin in the show? confirmed abuse victim, went back in to stop bryce, is never confirmed to have actually let bryce go in, or let bryce do it. we can’t hold justin responsible if we don’t hold hannah responsible. it glorifies suicide to escape your mistakes. justin is paying for his AND hannah’s mistake through a life worse than death: addiction. and he doesn't fucking deserve that punishment.
and lastly, on how also this storyline is fucked up. the whole show is like ‘victims need to tell their story because it’s theirs to tell’ but hannah LITERALLY tells jess’ story to 11 other people before jess herself even hears it... and is willing to let that shit go fucking public as manipulation? regardless of whether the story is true or not, jess and justin wanting to keep clay from doing shit about tape 9 isn’t evil and didn't deserve to be antagonised as much as it was... a girl was raped, and clay didn't understand the impact of that. every other person on those tapes who helped justin keep clay quiet did it for their own purposes. justin only did it because jess was scared and because bryce could have come after her or done something if he found out about the tapes.
anyway. i cannot physically type anymore and i probably have more points to be made but i just can't remember them. if you made it this far. congratulations.
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Wynonna Earp 2x06 Whiskey Lullaby
Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)
Click here for previous recaps!
Stray thoughts
1) “Don’t talk about my partner’s ass” Hearing Doc say those words in regards to Dolls gave me so much joy!
2) So, Black Badge indeed no longer exists, at least not in the same shape and form as we knew it. They’ve cut Dolls, Purgatory and the Earps loose and they are now left to their own devices. If they’re not a government agency, then what are they? Who else would be interested in fighting the supernatural institutionally? Anyway, the dude told them that when Doc freed Dolls, other things escaped, too.
3) Who or what are these women? Are they widows? Is that why they dress in black?
4) So Wynonna is pregnant. And she’s also in denial mode. I get it, I mean this was definitely not part of the plan. I mean, she really doesn’t have a plan per se, but you know what I mean. She’s refusing to deal with this right now, but who are we kidding? That’s not something that you can really postpone dealing with. You have to make a decision either way. Also, is Doc the father? I’m trying to remember if she slept with anyone else after that, but I think she didn’t? Or is this like a supernatural pregnancy? And what about the goo? Did the goo affect the baby? Is Wynonna going to have the baby? And if she does, will it be an actual baby or are they going to turn it into a Connor? So many questions! I am really interested in seeing where this show is headed with this storyline…
5) To distract herself, Wynonna goes begging Nicole for a case, but there seems to be no supernatural activity lately. Well, except for…
6) So, there are rings and they’re talking about wives and husbands, so they must be widows, but whose widows are they? They’re looking for the location of a seal, and they mention Bobo and the Stone witch, none of whom are available. And when they mention Juan Carlos, they mention that they’re not strong enough to face him. Huh.
7) Hypnos? And the Creepster is asking for more time for the Widows (yes, they are widows, I got it right!) Does this mean this Hypnos guy will hypnotize everyone in Purgatory? Will he turn back time? Make time go slower? He’s doing something alright…
8)
DOLLS: We are free agents. Free to make our own rules and to pursue our own objectives.
DOC: Welcome to the club. I've been here a while. I'll show you what areas are off limits.
DOLLS: Well, that's my point. There are no areas that are off limits anymore.
ME:
Seriously, though, last time we saw them they were getting along just fine, so what happened between then and now?
9) So, this is what was happening…
DOLLS: Hey, Wynonna. You wanna grab coffee with me? There's something I wanna discuss with you that's personal.
WYNNONA: Yeah, sure.
Does this mean that Dolls and Wynonna will be a thing? I truly can’t accept that Doc/Wynonna are over? How? They were even barely started!
10) Okay, Waverly just suggested Doc is the baby’s father… This can’t be the end of Wynonna and Doc. I’ll Calcutta bitch!
Even though I agree with Wynonna in that it is her situation and it is up to her who to tell and when, Waverly does make a great point that it’s not fair to either Dolls or Doc not to let them know about her ��situation.” I’m guessing Wynonna is going to handle it in true Wynonna fashion and it’s gonna be messy.
11) Oh, Nicole and Waverly are so beautiful and hot together?
And I’m super glad they addressed this because it was kind of tormenting me not knowing whether Waverly was really Waverly when they were together while they were possessed…
NICOLE: You taste like my Waverly again.
WAVERLY: What's wrong?
NICOLE: I was just thinking how much of the other times were you, you? You know, because you said things, and we did things, and I don't know what was real.
WAVERLY: No. It was all real. Okay? It was all me.
NICOLE: How can you be sure?
WAVERLY: Because I don't remember much about when it was in control. But I remember every second I was with you. Each touch. Every kiss.
12) I guess Hypno dude just put them all to sleep?
And the timing couldn’t have been more perfect for Wynonna, she was really dreading the “personal” conversation with Dolls. But why? Is it because she doesn’t see him in that way? Or is it because she truly does and it scares the shit out of her? I’m guessing it’s the latter, but I don’t want it to be. I have nothing against Dolls, but I love Wynonna and Doc!
13) I guess the Widows did get some time. A few months, actually…
Damn, this means the choice to be pregnant or stop the pregnancy was taken away from her.
How did people survive, though? I mean, Wynonna was covered in dust, and all the food is rotten, which means that time literally went by, it’s not that they just fastforwarded…
Also, damn, their breath must be AWFUL!
14) They need to take drugs to keep themselves awake, but Wynonna obviously can’t take any… and Dolls is making heart eyes at her, and I just realized he still hasn’t seen her baby bump…
15) “The whole town has been asleep for weeks.” Okay, exactly how many weeks? I need to know! So they kept up the whole town asleep this long by threatening with hurting Poppy, who is… Hypnos’ daughter? Lover? I have no idea. But now that Wynonna is awake he can’t make her and the gang fall back asleep… She’s too strong. Damn straight she is!
16) And if people stay asleep too long, they’ll never wake up. Cool. Cool cool cool. Waverly’d better fucking hurry up and wake up Doc yesterday!
17) What are these bitches doing to Wynonna? They’d better not hurt the baby!
18) And this is how Doc fell asleep…
19) Jeremy just woke up and went straight to business. The second seal is apparently in Shorty’s, so they’d been sitting on it this whole time. The problem is that the Widows stole all their plans and research and probably know this already.
20) And Dolls just realized Wynonna is preggers…
I’m guessing now the million-dollar question will be asked – who’s the father? Wynonna insists that nothing has changed and that she can still kick some evil ass, but… that’s probably the last thing in Doll’s mind right now?
21) And this is everything I didn’t know I needed in my life?
A pregnant lady kicking ass? HELL YES!
22) Okay, Poppy is Hypno’s daughter, and the Creepster has obviously taken her to rape her, so Hypno agreed to help Wynonna if she makes sure his daughter is safe, which I think it’s something Wynonna could relate to.
23) The Widows just fucking froze Waverly and Doc? Are they going to eat them up?
24) Bless Nicole, she’s been tracking the Creepster’s phone because she knew he was gross and evil. Bless Wynonna for her reaction, too.
25) Well…
Then he says she’s amazing and tries to save face or a bit of his ego by saying she’s an amazing agent, yeah, right.
26) Please let Jeremy save the day. Pleasepleaseplease.
27) He so didn’t.
28) Oh my God, the fucking Creepster is asking Poppy to role-play as Waverly before he rapes her? PLEASE SOMEONE MURDER HIM!
29) Ugh, Nicole, why would you shoot him in the shoulder and let him run away? Straight between the eyes! And what the fuck else did he do that will get him killed? Worse than what he’s already done?
30) The Widows managed to break the seal, but there’s a third one…
31) And this is how Wynonna told Doc about the baby…?
He’s all teary-eyed, omg, is he happy? Sad? I guess there will be one relationship in his life with strings after all, and I’m not talking about Wynonna. But damn, he didn’t handle the news well, he just walked away and didn’t say anything…
32) So… no time has really passed except for the baby… How convenient for the plot...
33) Damn, Dolls just shot Hypno in cold-blood and forced Wynonna to off him. He’s truly butthurt about the baby, isn’t he?
34) Doc wrote a note for Wynonna. And Jeremy knew Wynonna was pregnant all along hahaha!
35) Clootie?
Oh. This is what he did. He killed Clootie.
36) Damn, this whole scene…
WYNONNA: Am I a screw-up? Yeah. I've also been on two types of birth control since I was 13 years old. But the universe doesn't give a damn. It's never given me a choice, it's never… not whether I wanted to be the Heir or a m… a mother.
WAVERLY: I know you're overwhelmed, okay? But not everything is because you're an Earp.
WYNONNA: Yeah, it is. It always comes back to the curse, Wave, always. I really, I… I can't do this.
WAVERLY: Hey.
WYNONNA: No.
WAVERLY: Hey.
WYNONNA: This poor asshole!
WAVERLY: Hey I'm not saying it's gonna be okay. But I'm just saying I'm here.
I’m just, wow. There are so many things that I love about this scene and this plot and what it means for Wynonna. First of all, I’m so glad it’s not a supernatural pregnancy and that it wasn’t the result of rape – magical or otherwise. It’s the result of consensual sex, which is sadly unprecedent in supernatural shows. Think about that for a minute.
There’s the question of choice, too. Wynonna didn’t choose to get pregnant nor did she choose to remain so. I doubt she would’ve ended the pregnancy, but the fact remains, she was deprived of that choice. It’s easier to understand her initial denial and reluctance to discuss the pregnancy in light of this final scene. It’s sad but I think it has to do with the fact she doesn’t think she’s fit to be a mother. Wynonna handles herself with a lot of bravado and self-confidence, but most of the time, it feels as though she’s trying the old “fake it till you make it” strategy. She’s deeply insecure and she thinks very low of herself. On top of that, she’ll be bringing a child into this supernatural mayhem that it’s her life. She’s fully aware she’ll be putting a burden on her child, In a way, she fears she’ll be doing to that child the same thing that has been done so many times to her – depriving them of choice.
I’m just very intrigued as to how they’re going to deal with this pregnancy, and I can’t help but wonder again – will there even be a baby or are we facing a Connor situation? There has already been one time-jump, so it’s possible there’s another one…
37) Aw, Doc, this is why I love you…
He’s all fucking in!
38) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!
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Gentleman Jack ep 5
Mr. Ainsworth is such a CREEP.
I LOVED the scene with Anne in the Priestleys' dining room - throwing absolutely lethal glares at Ainsworth while handling business (being a somewhat decent shithead rich landlord), sprinkling in Rawson's guilt - and the whole time Ainsworth is like, what...oh god....this is bad....very...intimidated....
lol love how the Priestleys' are like: ...? What
That was a great confrontation. Love how she uses propriety to stomp him into the ground. the fury is palpable (that moment when he's like - she wanted it more than me, and you see her blink rapidly, like. great detail. but she shuts it all down immediately. what a WRETCH)
I think Eliza's husband is quite alright, Eliza herself however is just telling everybody willy nilly deliberately lol. what a shithead. if she didn't TELL people nothing would be getting so out of hand (i really do hope that everything will turn on her and SHE'LL get the bad reputation - she deserves it)
ahhh oh god
all the homophobia is really getting - very
the whole speech about god and naturalness was just incredible - like being able to breathe (Suranne!!!). 'i want you to be my wife' WOW!!!! but really the WHOLE thing - wow!!!!
ohhh power move by Anne. those dark eyes turning very serious. if you stop playing nice - i will too....
ahh all the homophobia is a bit of a - how do you say - like getting punched in the chest lightly but very repeatedly - it stacks
'i do have feelings too' ahh. yes. that was great. I think that, until that point, Ann Walker really did feel as though she could not hurt Anne - or yes indeed, had not considered the possibility seriously. And not wanting the money! DELICIOUS. 'i'd rather starve' that emotion. (acting). what a great choice, what a great way to turn us around all the way from the start. DRAMA
i really do think that Ann wasn't accusing her of only wanting her money - she just wanted to soothe her own guilt - but DAMN! YEAH! love this explosion of emotion and Anne being fed up with it all. 'what do you take me for?' great stuff. healthy stuff.
ok. I'm a little. surprised that they'd dramatise this, this way - i wasn't aware that they were gonna include an element of potential corrective rape - anyway im inching through this scene second by second (luckily it only lasts about 5 seconds)
wow they got a stripped end theme for the shit and sad and serious business...good choice
anyway whew that was seriously uhhhh. well you know. my thought is that they did a pretty good and sensitive portrayal of all the dangers.
but wow sally wainwright please give me Ann finding some steel in regrets and concern for Anne. Also, i totally get why she feels overwhelmed, with these pressures from all sides - that she would consider marrying fuckin Ainsworth. but DAMN. (i love the acting from Sophie Rundle) the episode goes to great lengths to convey the suffocation she feels to the audience.
but GODDAMN, are we gonna get Anne winning it from Christopher Rawson?? because with these things - these terrible fucking things that he's done - like the narrative SHOULD normally have her win right - but historically? DID SHE WIN? WILL WE SEE HER WIN???
edit: on the other storylines. i guess the only way to go forward is to have your son's back - even if he is a murderer. but that's a heavy secret to bear.
Mr. Abbot is like the epitome of what Anne and Aunt Anne would call 'vulgar' ahahha. None of the family like him. And not at all self-aware. Poor Marian. does she like HIM? Anne would have WRECKED the guy, so it might have been a good thing that she kept away.
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Suicide Mission ( Daryl Dixon x Reader )
Summary: Before the whole world turned to shit, you lived next door to the Dixon’s. You grew really close to the Dixon brothers over the years. You and Daryl quickly becoming best friend, despite your massive crush on him, (which at the time, you didn’t know he returned).
You weren’t with him when the outbreak started, but against all odds you managed to find him while helping a random group of strangers on the road. It seemed like fate always found a way, even during the apocalypse.
(Set during Season 3 of TWD and will follow the seasons basic storyline through yours and Daryl’s eyes)
Parings: Daryl Dixon x Reader
Word Count: 4,600
Warnings: Language, violence, mild descriptions of blood and gore, implied rape/sexual assault but not written in detail at all
Chapter 9:
"You guys wanted to talk to Glenn. Let's go." The leader said walking over to the two of you, but your teary eyes were locked with Merle's as he stared at you in shock.
He noticed the blood down the side of your face from where he had hit you with his gun and your cut and bruised lip which wasn't there earlier and your shirtless body. You thought you could see a glimmer of regret and guilt flash across his eyes, but before you could think much of it the leader suddenly grabbed yours and Maggie's arms, pulling you towards the door. Neither of you wanted to follow him, but you didn't have a choice if you wanted to keep your arms and hands covering your exposed body, so you walked with him as Merle and the other man walked out first, leading you towards another room.
"Drop it." Merle shouted as the leader pushed you and Maggie into the room, but not releasing his grip on either of you. You spotted Glenn in the middle of the room, holding up a piece of wood as a weapon, but when his eyes spotted the two of you he froze, dropping the piece of wood. He was covered in blood and bruises and you knew it was because of Merle.
"We're through with games. Now, one of you is gonna give up your camp." The leader said as he pulled out a gun and pressed it against your temple. You could feel your body shaking as you tried to act strong and you could see Merle watching on from the left, but you doubted he would do anything. He reported to this leader guy and did whatever he said, he wasn't the same Merle you used to know. Suddenly, the leader lowered the gun from your face as he marched over to Glenn, aiming the gun at his head.
"The prison." Maggie quickly said and you sighed, but you didn't have the heart to blame her for giving in. If it was Daryl in Glenn's spot right now you would have done the exact same thing.
"That place is overrun, how many of you are there?" The leader asked, not taking his eyes off Glenn as he held the gun at the mans face.
"10. We have 10 now." Maggie replied, her voice shaky as she fought back tears.
"Whole prison of biters? Huh?" The leader questioned turning around to look at you and Maggie as he walked over to the two of you before pushing you both towards Glenn. Maggie immediately hugged Glenn as you stood off to the side. You turned around just in time as Merle stared at you for a few seconds, dropping a black shirt on the ground before following the two other men out the room and locking it behind himself.
You stayed where you were for a few seconds, frozen to the spot. It was like the your brain was playing the past events in that other room on repeat through your mind because that was all you could think about.
You could hear Maggie crying into Glenn to your right and you forced yourself to move as you walked over to the shirt on the ground and quickly put it on. It was a bit big for you, but it covered your body and that was all you wanted.
You turned back around to find Maggie putting on Glenn's shirt as the man looked over at you with teary eyes before pulling you into a gentle hug as well. How the hell were you guys gonna get out of this?
-
After a few minutes the three of you sat down against the metal wall, you sat a bit further away from the couple, giving them some space. You pulled your knees to your chest and rested your head on top as you tried to forget about everything that just happened and the fact that Merle was alive and here.
"Maggie. Did he-" Glenn began to ask, but Maggie cut him off.
"No. He barely touched me. Y/N stopped him." Maggie replied, her voice thick with emotion as you listened to the two of them talk. "All this time, running from walkers... You forget what people do, have always done. Look at what they did to you."
"Doesn't matter. As long as he didn't-" Glenn tried to respond.
"No, not to me." Maggie replied, basically whispering the last part, but you heard it and you felt Glenn's eyes suddenly on you, but you didn't lift your head from on top of your knees. You didn't want to see the look of pity or sadness or anything on his face. You just needed to think of a way out of here.
"Hey." Glenn said after a few minutes of silence and you lifted your head to find him walking towards the dead walker on the ground that Merle must have used against him... It clearly didn't end well for the walker.
You were about to ask what Glenn was doing when he began pulling the walkers arm off and suddenly it clicked. He was going to use the bones as weapons. That's genius.
-
The three of you stood by the door for nearly 10 minutes, the sharp bones in your hands ready to take out whoever came through the door and you hoped like hell it wouldn't be Merle. You wouldn't be able to attack Merle, even after everything he had done.
As if on queue the metal door opened and you quickly attacked the first man while Glenn and Maggie attacked the other man.
Everything happened so quickly, you barely realised what you were doing when you stabbed the bone through the mans neck before you grabbed his gun. You quickly turned around to find Merle on the ground with his knife hand pressed against Glenn's throat, Maggie standing to the side with wide eyes.
"Merle. Don't make me do this... Please." You said your voice shaky with emotion as you aimed the gun at your former friend. But he shook his head as the sound of more guns being loaded filled the air and you knew you were surrounded as you dropped the weapon. Shit.
The men behind you with guns walked over to the three of you, grabbing you and pushing you into another room as they forced you onto your knees and you knew what was about to happen. Was Merle really going to let these men kill you?
"Glad we could catch up." Merle suddenly said and you looked up at him, but he refused to look at you as he focused on Maggie and Glenn.
"Just keep looking at me." You heard Glenn say from beside Maggie, but before you could look over at the two of them a bag was suddenly thrown over your head and you couldn't see a thing.
"On your feet, move." One of the men ordered and within a second someone was pulling you up from the ground roughly and began pushing you forwards. You couldn't see anything, but you could hear Maggie and Glenn struggling behind you, so at least you were all still together.
A second later you heard the sound of metal hitting the ground before something exploded by your feet and the person grabbing you fell to the ground taking you with him. What the hell was happening? You quickly pulled the canvas bag off your head, but everything was smoky. You couldn't see anything when suddenly a pair of hands grabbed your shoulders and you looked up to find Daryl crouched down in front of you. Neither of you had time to say anything before he quickly pulled you to your feet as Rick and Oscar grabbed Glenn and Maggie and you all began running out the building and down the street.
"Inside, quick!" Rick whispered, opening a door to a random building as you quickly ducked inside. Daryl gently sat you down on the ground as Glenn and Maggie sat down a few metres away while the others scanned the room, making sure nobody was in here.
"Y/N?" Daryl called softly as he crouched down in front of you, his hands gently cupping your cheeks as he took in the blood down the side of your face and your busted up lip. "Talk to me, what happened? Y/N?" Daryl asked, but you couldn't speak, still trying to process what actually just happened. Merle was alive. He was here. He let the leader hurt you, he let the leader do what he did to you, but Merle left your knife in you pocket and gave you a shirt... It didn't make any sense.
"I'm okay." You eventually said looking into Daryl's worried eyes.
"Ya ain't." Daryl muttered, scanning your body for any more injuries, noticing your black shirt which definitely wasn't yours, but before he could say anything Glenn began talking.
"Daryl, this was Merle. He did this." Glenn stated and Daryl stared at you with a questioning look as you gave him a sad nod.
"Ya saw him?" Daryl questioned, looking over at Maggie and Glenn, but not taking his hand off your shoulder.
"Face to face. Threw a walker at me. He tried to execute us." Glenn responded and you could tell Daryl was trying to process everything he was hearing right now... you were still trying to process everything too.
"S-So my brother's this Governor?" Daryl questioned. Governor? That must be the leader.
"No, it's somebody else. Your brother's his lieutenant or something." Maggie answered.
"The Governor is controlling him. Merle isn't the same, he wouldn't do this." You tried to say, your voice breaking at the end as the memory of what Merle let the Governor do to you and Maggie flashed through your mind.
"Did he do this?" Daryl asked motioning towards your face and you shook your head.
"It was the Governor." You simply answered, even though the cut on your forehead was from Merle's gun.
"Rick, I'm sorry. We told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out." You heard Glenn say as Daryl bushed his finger gently over your bruised and split lip, his face a mixture of guilt and anger.
"Don't. No need to apologise. We have to get back. Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out." Rick replied and you watched as Glenn nodded before Rick and Maggie helped him as Daryl quickly stood up walking over to them.
"Hey, if Merle's around, I need to see him." Daryl quickly said as Oscar took Ricks place to help Glenn as Rick turned around to Daryl.
"Not now. We're in hostile territory." Rick responded and you stood up, walking over to the two men. You wanted to get the hell out of this town, but you didn't want to leave Merle, leaving him here was not an option.
"He's my brother. I ain't-" Daryl tried to argue, his voice unsure and slightly panicked and you knew there was no way Daryl would leave without Merle and neither were you.
"Look at what he did! Look, we gotta get out of here now."
"Maybe I can talk to him. Maybe I can work somethin' out." Daryl said desperately, but Rick shook his head.
"We can't leave him." You added, looking at Rick as he gave you a sympathetic look.
"No, no, no. You guys aren't thinking straight. Glenn can barely walk and you're hurt. How are we gonna make it out if we get overrun by walkers and this Governor catches up to us? I need you. I need both of you. Are you with me?" Rick questioned glancing between the two of you.
"Yeah." Daryl finally said and you nodded, before Rick began making a plan to get out of here. Everyone was busy listening to Rick as Daryl grabbed your hand and you looked up at him with a nod, knowing what he was thinking. He was going to try find Merle and there was no way you were letting him do that alone.
"Y/N, take this." Rick suddenly said handing you a small handgun as Daryl began grabbing smoke grenades from the bag. "On three. Stay tight. One. Two. Three." Rick said, opening the door as Daryl threw the smoke grenades outside and you all rushed out the building.
You barely made it a few metres outside before gunfire erupted, there were people crouched down behind bench chairs and garbage bins on the other side of the street firing at you as you stuck close to Daryl as you returned the fire.
"In here!" You shouted, firing off a few more bullets before leading the group into a small gap between buildings.
"How many?" Rick questioned as you contined firing off shots around the corner before quickly ducking behind the wall as they fired back.
"Don't matter. There's gonna be more of 'em. We need to move." Daryl responded, reloading his rifle as you dropped down to a crouch beside him and began going through the bag of weapons they had bought.
"Any grenades left?" Rick questioned and you nodded, pulling a few out. "Get them ready. We gotta gun it to the wall."
"You guys go on ahead. Y/N and I will lay down some cover fire." Daryl said handing you a spare clip for your gun as you quickly reloaded.
"No, we gotta stay together." Maggie tried to say, but you shook your head.
"Too dangerous, we gotta distract them. We'll be right behind you guys." You said looking up at Maggie before turning to Rick who nodded reluctantly as Daryl began throwing out more smoke grenades as you all ran.
The others ran towards the fence, but you and Daryl quickly ducked down behind a bench side by side as you fired at the people across the road. Where was Merle? You needed to get to him and get the hell out of here.
The two of you continued firing for a few minutes, completely focused on the men across the road when suddenly you heard the familiar sound of guns being cocked behind you as you cursed under your breath.
"Turn around slowly." Someone ordered and you glanced over at Daryl who gave you a soft nod and you both turned around to find four men standing behind you with their guns raised.
"Drop your weapons or else I will shoot the pretty girl first." One of the men threatened, gripping his gun tighter as Daryl quickly dropped his gun and began taking his crossbow off his shoulder and you dropped your gun as well.
"Where's Merle?" Daryl questioned and the men just grinned as they pulled out two canvas bags. Again, really?
"Don't worry, you guys will see him soon." The same man replied as he covered both of your faces with the bags and began pulling you to your feet.
-
* A few hours later *
"And you let them in. You lied, betrayed us all!" A familiar voice shouted and your blood ran cold when you realised it was the Governor. But you didn't have much time to dwell over it because you were being pushed forwards and the sound of a crowd yelling filled the air. What the hell is going on?
"These are two of the terrorists. Merle's own brother! And one of his friends!" The Governor shouted and suddenly the bag was removed from your face and you were shoved forward, nearly falling over as Daryl grabbed your shoulders, stopping you from hitting the ground.
You looked up at Daryl who was staring at someone in front of him and you followed his line of sight and found Merle, staring at the two of you in shock. You quickly glanced around realising you were surrounded by people all standing around you in a large circle. Seriously, what the hell is going on?
"What should we do with them, huh?" The Governor shouted pointing to the three of you and suddenly the crowd erupted.
"Kill them! Kill them!" They all yelled and you knew whatever the Governor was planning, that it wasn't good, especially if Merle was here too. You looked over at the brothers, in panic and you could tell they were both panicking as well.
"Let them go. He's my friend!" A blonde woman suddenly shouted before a man quickly grabbed her stopping her from getting any closer to the Governor.
"I asked you where your loyalties lie. You said here. Well, prove it to us all. Brother against brother. Friend against friend. Winner goes free. Fight to the death." The Governor shouted and the crowd of people around you all began to cheer. Fight to the death? He wants us to kill each other? No, this couldn't be happening.
You looked over at Daryl who was already looking at you with almost scared eyes and it made your heart sink, he was always the brave one out of the two of you and seeing him like this just made you more terrified.
"Y'all know me. I'm gonna do whatever I got to do to prove." Merle began to shout as he circled around you and Daryl before punching Daryl in the stomach causing him to fall to the ground.
"Daryl!" You screamed, dropping to your knees besides him.
"That my loyalty is to this town!" Merle yelled and you looked over your shoulder at the older Dixon as he slammed his foot into your ribcage sending you backwards a few metres onto the ground. You heard Daryl shout your name amongst the crowd cheering, but right now the only thing you were focused on was Merle storming towards you, his hand balled into a fist as he punched you in the stomach when you tried to stand up.
"This isn't you Merle, I know it isn't." You groaned, forcing yourself onto your hands and knees when you noticed people with walkers attached to snare poles walking towards you. This just gets better and better, you thought to yourself as Merle grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, but before he could do anything Daryl suddenly grabbed him, pulling him off of you. You hit the ground with a thud, Merle no longer holding you up and you watched in panic as Merle pined Daryl on his back beside you, both men holding each others throat.
"Ya really think this asshole's gonna let ya go?" Daryl gasped, trying to push his brother off of him with no luck.
"Just follow my lead, little brother. We're getting out of this, right now!" Merle suddenly shouted pulling the younger Dixon to his feet before Daryl quickly grabbed your hand, helping you up as you all stood back to back while the Governors men started pushing the walkers towards you.
The three of you began punching and kicking the walkers away and you wished more than ever that you had your spare knife still in your pocket. You kicked one of the walkers away, just as a bullet pierced through its skull and that's when the gunfire started, along with more smoke grenades and you sighed with relief.
"Merle, Y/N, come on." Daryl shouted above all the yelling and gunfire as your eyes caught a glimpse of your crossbow on the ground amongst all the smoke and you ran for it. You heard both Dixons shout your name as you grabbed your bow off the ground before turning around to find Merle punching another guy holding Daryl's crossbow as Daryl ran up behind him, grabbing his own crossbow that dropped to the ground before grabbing your hand.
"Let's go!" Merle shouted running behind you and Daryl as Rick shouted for your attention behind a skip bin where you saw him and Maggie before you all began to run.
You tried to keep up with everyone, but your stomach and ribs were killing you from when Merle had kicked and punched you and it was getting harder to breath the more you ran.
"Guys, wait up." Daryl shouted as he slowed down, holding his hand out for you noticing you struggling to keep up. You took it, giving him a nod to try tell him you were okay, but he clearly saw straight though your lie.
"They're all at the arena. This way." Merle's voice shouted as you and Daryl caught up to them.
"You're not going anywhere with us." Rick responded and it was probably a good thing that you were out of breath because otherwise you might have argued with that.
"You really want to do this now?" Merle shot back as he began smashing a hole through the tin fence and within seconds he managed to make a big enough gap for you guys to escape through.
"Rick, come on. We've got to go." Daryl called, helping you through the gap before turning back to help Rick and Maggie.
"A little help would be nice!" Merle yelled and you quickly turned away from the others to find Merle bashing a walkers brain on the ground as more walkers wandered towards you from the road. You quickly raised your crossbow taking out the closest walker before you began reloading the next bolt.
"We ain't got time for this. Let's go." Merle shouted turning towards the rest of you before running off towards the woods and you could see how hesitant Maggie and Rick were. But you couldn't really blame them, look what Merle did to Glenn.
-
You all had been walking for nearly an hour by the time the sun began to rise and you hoped like hell that the car they had parked along the road was nearby. Merle hadn't shut up for more than five minutes, but you all had managed to zone him for the most part, just focusing on getting away from Woodbury and out of danger.
"Glenn!" Rick shouted softly and you looked up, spotting the familiar light green car parked on the side of the road as you walked beside Daryl and Merle through the woods behind Rick and Maggie.
"Rick. Oh thank God." Glenn's voice suddenly responded, relief evident in his tone when you spotted him and the woman with dreadlocks, who you saw briefly back in Woodbury before she disappeared, but clearly she came back.
"Now we got a problem here. I need you to back up." Rick quickly said holding his hand out towards Glenn and you could pinpoint the exact moment Glenn and the lady spotted Merle as they both raised their weapons towards the older Dixon. You quickly took a step to the left, standing between Merle and their weapons as Rick and Daryl took a few steps forward trying to calm the situation.
"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn shouted, cocking his gun pointing it at you, but you didn't take it personally, he was trying to aim at Merle, but you couldn't let that happen.
"Hey. Hey. Hey!" Rick yelled stepping in front of the woman as she pulled her katana out and you would have been more shocked that she had such a weapon, but right now you had bigger things to deal with.
"Put it down! He helped us get out of there." Daryl shouted above everyone else, holding his hand out towards Glenn and Maggie who still had their guns raised.
"Yeah, right after he beat the shit out of you and Y/N!" Rick snapped not taking his eyes of the lady with the katana, his gun pointed at her in case she tried anything.
"Hey, we all took our licks, man." Merle responded sounding almost amused by the whole situation.
"Jackass." Daryl muttered, glancing at his brother before turning back to Glenn and Maggie.
"Hey, shut up." Merle quickly replied and you glared at the older Dixon, taking a step towards him trusting Rick and Daryl to handled the others.
"That's enough, Merle!" You ordered not backing away as he stared down at you while Rick started shouting at the sword lady.
"Get that thing out of my face!" Daryl's voice yelled and you knew he was getting angry about this whole situation, you were too, but you knew getting angry wouldn't help fix this issue.
"Man, look like you've gone native, brother." Merle teased causing Daryl to turn his attention to his brother taking a step towards him in anger as you quickly stepped between them, pressing your hand against Daryl's chest trying to ground him and keep him from getting any closer to Merle. You had seen too many fights to count between the two Dixons growing up and you had resolve most of them too. But despite everything none of their fights ever turned physical and you figured that had to do with the fact that their old man used to beat them, so the two of them just attacked each other with words rather than fists.
"No more than you hangin' out with that psycho back there." Daryl shot back pushing against you, but you held your ground pressing your hand harder against his chest causing him to look down at you as he took a deep breath.
"Oh yeah, man. He is a charmer, I got to tell you that. Been putting the wood to your girlfriend Andrea. Big time baby." Merle replied, looking past Rick towards the sword lady. Andrea? As in the Andrea who used to be part of their group? You remembered Daryl telling you about her, like how she shot him thinking he was walker back on Hershel's farm.
"What? Andrea's in Woodbury?" Glenn questioned and you sighed in relief as the tone of the whole argument began to lower.
"Right next to the Governor." Daryl replied, turning back to Glenn and Maggie.
"Do you know Andrea?" Rick questioned focusing his attention towards the sword woman, but she just glared at Merle, ignoring Rick completely. "Hey, do you know Andrea?"
"Yep, she does. Her and blondie spent all winter cuddling up in the forest. Mm-mmm, yeah. My Nubian queen here had two pet walkers. No arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains. Kind of ironic now that I think about it." Merle said and you knew he was trying to piss the woman off on purpose.
"Shut up, bro." Daryl muttered glaring back at Merle.
"Hey, man, we snagged them out of the woods. Andrea was close to dying." Merle began to explain before Maggie started talking.
"Is that why she's with him?" Maggie questioned and Merle nodded.
"So what are you gonna do now, Sheriff, huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars, thugs and cowards." Merle teased.
"Shut up!" Rick shouted over his shoulder, not wanting to take his eyes off the sword woman.
"Oh man, look at this. Pathetic. All these guns and no bullets in them." Merle continued, but you shook your head getting sick of all the arguing.
"Merle, shut up!" You and Daryl both yelled, which only made Merle more agitated as he took a step towards you and Daryl, glaring at you.
"Shut up yourselves! Bunch of pussies you roll-" Merle began to shout before Rick slammed the butt of his gun against Merle's head and he dropped to the ground, unconscious. You quickly looked over at Daryl unsure if he was going to go off at Rick, but he almost looked relived that Merle was finally quiet and you sighed with relief.
"Asshole." Glenn muttered before him and Maggie began walking back to the car. How the hell were you going to deal with this? Merle clearly wasn't a favourite around here.
MASTERLIST / Next Chapter
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A Buffy rewatch 4x16 Who Are You?
aka ACTING
Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.
And you already know that today’s episode is amazing, but let’s talk a bit about the ugly, the bisexual disaster that Faith Lehane is, and how Who Are You? builds on the character arc from This Year’s Girl (that would then go on to continue over at Angel the series).
Let’s start with the fun though, before moving onto the heavy stuff. Like how Tara and Faith essentially gaydar each other - and only one of those is in a metaphorical context.
Well, alright, Tara “sensing” that Buffy is not Buffy is not a perfect fit for this metaphor, but the connection is still there. Tara seems very intuitive, and she previously also “sensed” that Willow had magic - a much more clear use of the metaphor in this context -, so her being aware of Faith has the same association.
Not to mention that we’re pairing this with Faith textually clocking Tara and Willow’s relationship as romantic / sexual just by a few interactions. And you know what, let’s talk a bit about Willow and Tara.
I’m usually listing New Moon Rising as the first episode where the show makes that relationship explicit, but I’m starting to think that that’s not very accurate of me. And I’ll talk about what that episode does when we get there, but the truth is, Who Are You? isn’t doing a lot of hiding behind subtext anymore either.
For one, the interaction with Faith is very explicit in its own. There is no question for the audience about what Faith is inferring between the two, and it’s certainly not played as some funny misunderstanding. We are being told in every conceivable way that Faith made the correct observation - and she’s being a dick about it.
The intimacy and the explicitness of the interactions between Willow and Tara is also dialed up to an impossible degree. There’s the knee touching and the hand holding, and the “I am you know.” “What?” “Yours.”… But then you also have to have them perform a spell that’s so blatantly sexual, that it instantly blows out of the water all of the show’s previous ridiculous sex metaphors (of which there were many).
So yeah, no wonder that Faith immediately picks up on it. She’s there at the Bronze having the time of her life anyway, riling up Spike, and dancing with all the boys and girls around.
It’s the part where she decides to have some more fun outside of the Bronze, that ends up being less fun…
And yes, we’ve got to the ugly section of this post.
Patriarchy and rape culture are kind of big themes on Buffy, as they’re often what the vampires and monsters Buffy’s fighting represent. Outside of that though, we’ve also got three prominent storylines with rape elements.
One is a very explicit rape attempt, and the other two use magical elements to remove informed consent. Faith sleeping with Riley is one of the latter.
I would also argue, that in some ways, this will become perhaps the most problematic of these storylines, as it fails to acknowledge Riley as a victim in the situation. He’ll even be made to feel guilty about it, as Buffy inadvertently blames him for what happened; even as she’s on a conscious level aware of how it’s not fair to him.
So… big old yikes on that.
I’m honestly not sure how to navigate that with Faith’s trauma either, that the scene chooses the focus on instead. But I guess this is one of the things that drew me to this rewatch in the first palce - the idea of having complex discussions about subjects that in the last couple of years, we’ve tried to put objective and absolute stamps on.
And don’t get me wrong - there’s value in that. It draws attention to issues and stigmatizes harmful ideas. But it also removes context, nuance and can lead to dehumanization, that’s helpful to no one. There’s power in refusing to engage with media, characters and people who’s done awful shit, but ignoring the context and circumstances, and leaving those unexamined will likely lead to the same pattern repeating itself in some other shape or form again and again.
…And with that tangent, let’s talk about Faith’s aversion to intimacy and affection.
There are two scenes that best demonstrate this. One is where Joyce hugs Buffy!Faith, and Faith’s face screams pure confusion before she makes a beeline to put some distance between them.
Then there’s the infamous Riley scene.
Faith may be there to use Riley to hurt Buffy, but she’s not ready for the intimacy of the act. We’ve seen before how Faith uses sex often to just let out some steam, and there’s nothing wrong with that between two consenting adults… But physical and emotional intimacy requires trust, and that’s just out of the question with Faith.
So when Riley tells her that he loves her, it becomes too much. She asks Riley who he is, and what he wants from Buffy in such a desperate, broken voice, that it breaks my heart, despite the circumstances of the scene.
You certainly get the sense that Faith doesn’t believe in unconditional love. We know that she didn’t receive any love at home, and that everyone she relied on is either gone or ended up betraying her trust. And that also explains her relationship with the Mayor. He showed her care and affection, sure, but also subscribed to Faith’s idea of how the world works, with the way he always asked something in return.
The Mayor’s love for Faith was conditional on her getting the job done for her and following his orders and instructions. It was something she was able understand.
Someone showing honest affection without any caveat just makes Faith suspicious. Who are they? What do they want from her?
Faith’s biggest issue however, remains to be her self-hatred throughout this episode. As she’s had her wishes from Enemies finally fulfilled, and she now has everything that was Buffy’s, she’s starting to distance herself from her own persona.
It’s an interesting progression too. At first, Faith mostly mocks Buffy from her own body, in a way that’s almost deconstructing Buffy’s character. But then… she slowly starts to disappear in the role. The scene where she first fantasizes about stabbing Willow, and then tells her that she would never let Faith hurt her feels somehow both ironic and genuine for instance.
The way she talks about herself however is consistent throughout. She starts off by making some awful jokes about prison life and then throwing away the lipstick she as Faith previously used, telling Joyce to “burn it”. That self-hatred is there the whole time, and it boils over in the climax of the episode, as she keeps pummeling her own face, calling herself “disgusting” and a “murderous bitch”.
It’s… a lot. And it brings me back to Faith’s dreams in This Year’s Girl, re-affirming my interpretation that the murderous Buffy Faith sees there is actually a reflection of herself in her subconscious.
So it’s no surprise that Faith instead chooses to be someone else, while in Buffy’s body. And it’s it’s intriguing to watch her come to a place where she takes on that responsibility too, going to the church to deal with the vamps instead of running away. It’s a big moment, because as much as Faith is supposedly playing the Buffy role, who she’s truly acting like then is the person she wishes to be. And Buffy represents and inspires that.
Also, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku are fucking nailing each others parts. It’s amazing to watch them both, even if I’ve seen them play these types outside of the show since. (Please watch Tru Calling you guys and cry about its early cancellation with me.)
Brb, I’m off to watch Five by Five and Sanctuary to complete my Faith saga, even if I have no intention adding Angel to this rewatch cycle.
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My counters to anti-KH2 Strawman Arguments
The strawman arguments presented here are taken from another blog; it’s sad that they were deliberately written as strawman quality and yet that’s exactly how certain obsessive KH2 haters actually type like.
Disney is reduced to pure filler! - Nope. Beast's Castle, Olympus Coliseum, Disney Castle, Port Royal and Space Paranoids all hold plot relevance, and the more filler-esque Land of Dragons, Halloween Town, Pride Land and 100 Acre Wood still have justifications for existing as levels in the game. Only Agrabah and Atlantica feel like complete wastes.
But what reason do they have to go to these places? Where's Mickey, Riku and Kairi? - You go there to stop all of the leftover Heartless from the mass invasion in KH1 from continuing to threaten the worlds' inhabitants, and to find out what Organization XIII and the Nobodies are up to. Later, it's to find a way into the Nobodies' home base (although this one admittedly gets botched by some truly bad writing). This complaint is as stupid as it is when applied to the first KH, where the small detail of locking keyholes to slow the progression of a world-eating invasion of darkness is conveniently forgotten.
All the Disney Worlds' plots just recycle the plots of the movies! - Nope. Just the first visits to Land of Dragons, Port Royal and Pride Land, both visits to Agrabah, and all visits to Atlantica. Iconic movie elements used in otherwise original stories, such as in Halloween Town, does not count, since that's the same thing the original KH did.
Original and Final Fantasy characters dominate the game! - Somehow this was a complaint? Even though there is pretty clearly more Disney characters in the game than there are original and FF characters. And that among those Disney characters, there are just as many that are important to the plot as there are original and FF characters.
Horrible retcons, especially Ansem not being Ansem and the Heartless not being those without hearts! - The Heartless were not retconned in the slightest since them being corrupted hearts was established in the original game, and Ansem not being Ansem wasn't so much a problem as the writing of the situation around it was (having Ansem the Wise, disguised as DiZ, disguise as "Ansem" in order to get Riku to embrace the darkness, which causes Riku to disguise as "Ansem" and yet he can't change back to normal, and the enemy is Xemnas, the Nobody of "Ansem"...yeah, you get the idea.)
Organization XIII were bland, shallow villains and terrible characters who never should've been! - This complaint is very clearly fueled by backlash against how the KH fandom latched on to the Organization to...shall we say, an inappropriate degree. Organization XIII is fine. (Although no shit “they never should've been”, that's kind of the whole point. Why do you think their lair is called The World That Never Was?)
The Organization is severely underdeveloped! - Not in the Final Mix version, they're not.
Yet the Organization totally steals the show from the Disney aspects! - Again, this seems more based around the KH fandom instead of based in reality. The Organization only got a little under an hour of screentime in the original version of KH2! For Pete’s sake, PETE had more screentime than Xemnas!
The Organization are retconned into Nobodies who want their hearts back! - That's clearly what they were in CoM. They even said as much. This claim is bullshit.
The Organization subliminally have gay sex with each other! - Once again, fandom /=/ canon.
Convoluted and horrible storyline! - Convoluted? Yes. Horrible? No, especially when compared to the storyline of the series beyond.
The novels tell this story so much better! - Hahahaha, no. There are even some improvements made in the storytelling in the manga, but the novels are utterly worse in every aspect, as Tomoko Kanemaki is not really interested in telling the actual story of KH2, but of her personal KH2 fanfic.
THE NOBODIES! - What about them? They were fine. Nomura may have made them more convoluted than they needed to be, but as a concept they felt natural. If a heart can become a creature, then it's only natural that what gets left behind can become a creature as well.
The Nobodies are Designated Villains! - No, they weren't. Suffering from some kind of ailment does not give you the right to inflict it upon others. The Nobodies not having hearts and wanting them is sympathetic, but them planning to obtain hearts by forcibly taking the hearts from millions of innocents kills that sympathy and firmly makes them villains.
But you spend the first 5 hours playing as an Organization member/Nobody only to kill them off in the main game! - Except that Roxas was already killing off other Nobodies and had turned on the Organization by the time of that prologue. Roxas' tragedy is that because they're going by what they know of other Nobodies and Organization members, DiZ and Riku are boxing him into a heavy fate and not allowing him to choose, treating him as if he's an enemy and a tool rather than a person with feelings of his own.
The enemies should've just been the Heartless, the Disney Villains, and Ansem! - The Heartless known as Ansem is dead, where could he have logically come from to fill in that last enemy slot? The only way you could feasibly have him is through his Nobody, which is exactly what happened. Hence the Nobodies, Organization XIII included, being the third enemy after the Heartless and Disney Villains.
All beautifully constructed themes from the first KH were raped! - Please define which themes and how they were raped, because I ain't seeing it.
Sora is now an immature idiot hero who is gay for Riku! / Riku is a bland, monotonous emo and a non-character / Kairi and Namine recieve severe underexposure and minimal development / Axel is a raging pedofag who wants to molest Roxas! / Ansem the Wise is a old, boring Mcpurple prose racist peice of shit. He's not the one true ANSEM! / Mickey Mouse should not be a badass: that is out of character! / Roxas sucks! - This is all beginning to sound like ill-thought out, incoherent ramblings that are based on fallacies such as fandom depiction of characters or willful misunderstanding of the text. I just don't give a crap.
Namine was retconned into being Kairi's Nobody instead of a witch with powers over memory! - She quite literally called herself "the shadow of Kairi" in CoM, and Riku noted that she and Kairi had the same scent. Re:CoM clarified the point even further by translating a line Axel said to her as "WE Nobodies can't ever hope to be Somebodies". Like with the Organization being Nobodies, Namine being Kairi's Nobody was always the plan.
Maleficent suffered Villain Decay! - Yeah, that was the point. The whole objective behind her arc in this game was clawing her way back to the top. It's not a fault of this game that she wasn't allowed to ever reach that top afterward despite what the ending implied.
That Longest Prologue Ever sucked! - That is a very subjective opinion.
Cloud's Side Story sucked! - Yes, but it's just a few scenes long, and finishing it is optional. It's a similar case to Atlantica, which is entirely optional. If you don't like it, don't play it.
Gameplay is no longer challenging! - This was never entirely true (certain points of the game are very challenging, particularly in its second half), and it has been particularly debunked through the Critical Mode of Final Mix.
Too many boring long-ass cutscenes! - Oh, you don't like that? Get used to it, it's not going away from the rest of the series.
These worlds are not fun to play through! - That depends on what you want out of them, as there are plenty of people who prefer the more linear, combat-oriented action RPG style than the larger, platforming style of the first KH, which they claim were the ones that were not fun to play through. And even if you want more exploration and item collecting in the worlds like there was in the first KH, then the Final Mix edition has you covered.
The finale to the story was awful! - No. Not at all. Fuck you.
The experience is not magical whatsoever because the Disney magic was consumed in a Nomura explosion! - No. That's the series beyond. This was pure compromise: not as much unrestrained Disney magic as the original game but not as much of a Nomura explosion as what followed, but a balance where both were equally rich in quality and quantity, and so fans of both could appreciate it. Like with the Disney world visits, this is the way the series should have stayed, instead of granting Nomura unlimited power and the ability to destroy it with his own self-indulgent crap.
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Epilogues: Candy, Ch 22-26 [Epilogue 5]
/So a lot of heavy shit has happened, though worse is yet to come (I’ve been warned of an onscreen sexual assault in chapter 32).
Everyone’s been having babies and funerals! It’s a busy time.
(note: csa mention in chapter 23, though it does not occur in the narrative)
Chapter 22
This is another John-Terezi text convo chapter. There’s been a three-year timeskip. And... it’s raining ghosts now.
So I guess that’s what became of the whole ghosts in the Furthest Ring thing?
We also learn that, on top of the breeding restrictions, trolls are banned from rising beyond certain levels in government. Jane is, we learn, pretty much running the government behind the scenes, because what makes fascist movements tick is one evil person, obviously.
Karkat’s the one with a backbone at least...
JOHN: and karkat...
JOHN: he’s gone completely off the grid!
JOHN: at first we all assumed that the reason he ran away was because he got fed up with his shitty poly relationship.
JOHN: which was probably part of it, honestly. but now i keep seeing his face on all the resistance posters!
JOHN: i think they may have actually put him in charge?
TEREZI: H3H
TEREZI: 1 4LW4YS KN3W H3 H4D 1T 1N H1M
This situation is only exacerbated by the ghosts. So that means characters who were very definitely dead in the main storyline can show up.
Gamzee has been apparently spreading this religion of ‘redemption arcs’ by ‘making out with people’, and doing some kind of milk-based ‘baptism’. John, meanwhile, asks about the ethics of kidnapping baby Tavros from his horrific parents...
We get to bare witness to Gamzee ‘redeeming’ the ghosts of Feferi and Eridan. Which involves Eridan going on about Feferi’s feet and Gamzee mashing their faces together to make them ‘kiss and make up’.
Jane, it seems, is going full Condesce in more ways than one:
Just then, a dark shadow passes over the park. The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead. Its design is insect-like, splitting into many jagged branches, each decked out with weapons and cameras. It’s completely silent, and encased in armor with a bright red finish, smooth and seamless. It’s often cited by Jane as the crown jewel of Crockercorp’s various military contracts with the government.
...including literally building her spaceships, and sending them out over the Troll kingdom.
So we’re basically going to have the Holocaust allegory in here I guess? Fucking hell.
chapter 23
We get more words towards Roxy’s steady character dissolution...
It’s not like Roxy had ever been argumentative, exactly. He just seems to remember someone from his youth who was somewhat more contrarian in spirit than this person he’s married to now.
Back when they were dating, John thought she was acting a little off. Not quite in a bad way, but perhaps a little too “in love,” too fast. At least she still seemed like herself most of the time. But since the wedding, every year that goes by, she seems to become just a little more conciliatory. Not just toward him but toward life in general. She indulges Harry Anderson liberally and almost thoughtlessly. She doesn’t care that her best friend is slowly turning into an executive overseeing the corporate arm up the puppet ass of a ruthless dictatorship. She still thinks Gamzee is being sincere about all this “redemption” bullshit, even though he’s been casting an increasingly dark and hungry shadow behind Jane: a malicious royal vizier to her burgeoning imperial persona.
So John’s going to do something, and hopes that it will make things feel ‘real’ again... which is to say obviously what he talked about with Terezi, kidnapping/rescuing Tavros Crocker. Well-intentioned, but... I do not anticipate this going well.
We learn a little such as... Jane’s planning to outlaw human and troll marriage, which would retroactively hit Rose and Kanaya. Which I guess is the final straw for them. (Frankly it should be well past the final straw for all of them. They should all be with Karkat by this point!)
Also Jane and Jake are in ‘auspistice counselling’. We witness a loud row, in front of Tavros...
TAVROS: It’s fine,,, my parents are kismeses after all,,,
like, fuck.......
It’s a birthday party for Harry Anderson (John and Roxy’s kid), and Jane’s gift is, well, a fucking imperial drone!
sometimes I picture V’s gleeful face as we see the next thing she’s got for us... and now you lick the clown’s armpit... jane’s making the Holocaust but for fictional space aliens...
John awkwardly finds an excuse to be alone with Tavros, to convince him to run away. The kid dialogue is convincingly naive.
The possibility of child sexual abuse (by Gamzee) is raised, but it’s made clear this isn’t the case: what ever else Gamzee is in this version, he doesn’t rape children. However, that the situation is overall abusive in just about every other way is more than clear. Tavros, on his part, seems to be very keen to leave once he’s convinced John can escape Jane’s security.
I have a feeling the imperial drone may become relevant again shortly.
Jade, however, witnesses what John’s trying to do. She insists it will just make everything worse... (also Jake has an ‘execution dance off show’ because yeah...)
Whatever weird character corrosion has hit them is finally raised...
JOHN: if there was another way we would have found it by now!!!
JOHN: but there isn’t one, because everyone’s been all... brainwashed by marriage, or whatever the hell happened over the last few years that made things be this way!
JOHN: it’s like everyone just talks past each other all the time!
JADE: john...
JOHN: i’m the only one who ever seems to realize that something...
JOHN: that something’s WRONG!
Tavros sadly can’t get a word in edgewise as they start having a go at each other - John calling out everything that’s wrong, the way Jade forced a relationship on Dave and Karkat, and... and the noise is loud enough that Jane arrives on the scene.
John finally has a go at her with all the latent awfulness that’s been building up to this point. The fascism, the way she’s treated Jake, the Gamzee thing... the narration has put us very much on his side, centred his perspective, but his friends won’t hear it. And his windy powers destroy the room. So that’s something.
John runs away.
Comment: the mostly strict John viewpoint makes me wonder if there’s any degree of unreliable narration. All the same, most of the stuff is pretty undeniable.
chapter 24
This one begins with an interesting exchange:
JADE [alt-Calliope]: the timelines are interacting again.
ARADIA: ooh do you hear anything interesting
SOLLUX: don’t be s0 n0sy aradia.
To me the implication is that a lot of the ‘arrivals’ in this timeline - alt-Calliope in Jade’s body, the ghosts - are as a result of things that might be happening in the Meat story.
Through alt-Calliope’s eyes, we see Terezi and John’s conversation. Terezi is lost, in more ways than one, in the dreaming void searching for Vriska. She’s also experiencing derealisation... John, apparently in a mood for dropping harsh challenges, tells her point blank that Vriska is either dead, or, not worth her time for leaving her in doubt for so long.
alt-Calliope explains that what is at stake is not the destruction of this universe - but those of them here are ‘the lucky ones’, who live ‘beyond the reach of the prince’. She doesn’t bother to explain what is at stake.
Meanwhile, John and Terezi talk depression. There’s some really vital Terezi dialogue here...
JOHN: please. please come home.
TEREZI: TH3N WH4T
JOHN: umm, i dunno.
JOHN: we hang out and stuff?
TEREZI: JOHN YOU ST1LL DONT G3T 1T
TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S *NOT* MY HOM3
JOHN: do you really miss alternia that bad?
TEREZI: 1 D1D FOR 4 LONG T1M3
TEREZI: MOR3 TH4N K4RK4T 4ND K4N4Y4 D1D 4T L34ST
TEREZI: BUT 1 H4V3 NO 1D34 4NYMOR3
TEREZI: 4LT3RN14, VR1SK4, SGRUB
TEREZI: 1M SO CONFUS3D 4BOUT WH4T 1 W4NT
TEREZI: UGH, 1 THOUGHT TH4T NOT K1LL1NG H3R WOULD M4K3 M3 F33L B3TT3R
TEREZI: BUT 1NST34D 1TS L1K3 1 R3TCONN3D 4 HUG3 CHUNK OUT OF MY SOUL
TEREZI: 1 3R4S3D 4N 4CT1ON OF R3GR3T 4ND GR13F...
TEREZI: 4ND JUST TURN3D 1T 1NTO SOM3TH1NG 1 C4NT STOP CH4S1NG 4FT3R
TEREZI: M4YB3 WH4T 1 D1D W4S N3CESS4RY TO S4V3 3V3RYON3 3LS3
TEREZI: BUT 1T SUR3 D1DNT S4VE M3
oh terezi....
terezi is giving up. she tells john she texted, echoing his words, to ‘give him the courtesy of closure’. and that she’s going to let herself die, alone in the Furthest Ring.
this is the ‘sweet fluffy’ branch huh
chapter 25
finally an update on what’s going on with Karkat!
he’s been somehow appointed ‘Commander’ of the rebellion, with good old Swifer Eggmop as one of his comrades! I’m so glad Swifer is having a role. Karkat is not all that pleased about the successes of his rebellion:
KARKAT: SO FAR ALL THIS “TROLL REBELLION” HAS AMOUNTED TO IS A WHOLE LOT OF DICK ALL, WITH AN ADDITIONAL SIDE SERVING OF JACK SQUAT, FOLLOWED UP BY A FINAL COURSE OF GETTING TO WATCH OUR TOP ANALYST, CLIPER BORDEN, BEING FORCED TO DANCE TO AVOID LIFE IMPRISONMENT IN A LABOR CAMP ON LIVE TELEVISION AND MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OF HIMSELF.
It’s all a weird mix of surreal and grimdark, much like the Alpha kids’ backstory in Homestuck proper. There’s hard labour camps... making cake; a ‘pastry-based shadow dictatorship’.
Rose and Kanaya are at least involved somewhat in the troll rebellion, and transport of the Mother Grub has been arranged.
Anyway, Karkat’s typically grumpy internal monologue is interrupted by the sudden arrival of Meenah from another dimension. A living Meenah - equipped with a Ring of Life. John asks if she got it from Calliope, but Meenah insists she did not. (Possibly she got it from Andrew Hussie himself? I’d have to watch Cascade again probably...)
Meenah, it seems, is fresh from battling Lord English - apparently without success. But her massive army of ghosts arrives with her... and she’s willing for Karkat to take charge and order her around, as long as he does it with a suitably commanderly demeanour. Does this mean the rebellion now stands more of a chance? Meenah is ruthless (she was the Condesce in another life), though capricious... Karkat is honest and direct and angry about the right things, but rather prone to getting lost in it.
Also he still won’t text Dave, and won’t let Rose talk to him about it.
chapter 26
Back to John, who’s thinking about messaging Terezi again - presumably in the hope that she is not, in fact, dead?
He’s getting a good old mope on about the seeming fakeness, non-’canonicity’ of life on Earth C. But after some ‘melodramatic contemplating’ in this vein, he’s interrupted by his dad’s car.
I’m going to be very curious if the Meat route explains how all this stuff got into the Earth C universe.
Unfortunately, what John finds in the car is... not his dad, but a bit of Terezi’s blood. From which he concludes... he’s never going to see her again, there was never even a possibility of it.
Feeling derealisation more than ever, John just screams a lot.
Damn lol, this story is making me care about John Egbert of all people!
epilogue 5
This is the episode where the whole idyll comes crashing down. Things aren’t ok, things weren’t going to be ok, trying to pretend things were ok just made everyone miserable.
I am sufficiently depressed that that rather appeals as a narrative - much more than a ‘happily ever after’ ending. But it’s not over yet.
Hopefully there’s yet hope for the characters I like to find some manner of escape from this latest hell, develop out of the worst selves they’ve built... Roxy, at least, I hope can change, stop being this non-person...
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WE ARE FINALLY, TRULY CAMLESS!
Season 9 Episode 6 Recap
First and foremost, I want to single out Noel Fisher for being a truly class act and returning to this demon show to give fans what happiness he could-the ONLY happiness a lot of fans have found here, myself included, in a very long time.
Next a serious piece of appreciation to Cameron Monaghan. I know he worked hard on what little they gave him to do in the past few years, and I’m thankful he had Gotham to work on to actually use his talent while mired down in the stinky swamp this show has become. In another actor’s hands, I don’t know that Gallavich would’ve been as captivating as it was-without Noel I know it wouldn’t have been, but Cam does deserve credit for bringing the other half of the couple to life-when they were on screen together, they had an undeniable magic happening.
Finally to any of the “fans” that are thinking or posting that we got this actually pretty shitty prison endgame because people pestered the show producers, writers, and actors too much to “bring Mickey back” may I please direct you to watch the early episode (I believe it was in Season 1, but certainly no later than S2) where Lip tells Ian prison must be a gay man’s dream with all the tattoos and unlimited sex partners. THAT is John Wells’ perception of gay men and it has been since long before he even thought of breaking Ian and Mickey up, let alone bringing Mickey back.
Personally I’m supremely disappointed this gay couple, like so many others, did not get a free and truly happy ending in canon, even though my friends know I predicted this could very well be all we got in the end. FFS it’s the year twenty gayteen-couldn’t ONE iconic gay couple be given a nice, normal happy ending? John Wells is a fucking dinosaur. He needs to go to a sensitivity training camp run by Dan Levy, Emily Andras, and Ryan Murphy.
Anyway-my last recap (baring a miracle) of this shit show is under the cut
(screen cap credit: justmikhailothings)
This episode was brought to us by White Castle. I’d like to think they gave every dime they got from them to pay Noel, but I’m sure it went to the other “big name” guest stars.
Also the show was (disappointingly) written by Nancy “Ratfucker” Pimental, so you know it’s gonna be bad.
The show begins with Ian putting his stuff away up in the attic and claiming he wants to eat a shitload of White Castle. Sure, whatever. Everyone is trying to offer ideas of what they should all do on his last day of freedom, but suddenly THIS Ian is talking and making decisions for himself. WHERE HAS HE BEEN THE PAST 4 SEASONS? He only appears when Mickey’s about...
Debbie offers to bring him to a gay bar to “get laid” (flashing back to Monica in S3, ugh-it was a bad idea then, it’s a bad idea now), Ian says, “Pretty sure I’ll get laid a lot in prison.” He says it with a grim expression, but considering how they end the show/who his cellmate is, he should be so lucky.
Frank pretty much ignores Ian in the scene, and they certainly don’t interact. Frank recommends Ian should read James Joyce’s Ulysses in prison, but other than the fact that it’s by an Irish writer and it’s extremely long and dense to get through (aka it’ll take Ian some time to do it), I don’t know if there’s any significance to his suggesting it.
This scene with just a throwaway send off from Macy seems to be in line with John Wells’ vision to have the series fade away with the characters going about their daily lives rather than end, but I really think both Cam and WHM were screwed out of not having a final scene together with just the two of them. Their comedy timing was always the best out of Macy and all the Gallagher kids. The lack of respect is just astounding-especially since the show wasted so much time on rando actors/characters we’re never going to see again.
The rest of Frank’s story this week takes place with Liam in tow again and it’s just dumb and boring.
The next scene shows Fiona and Bored looking at an apartment-they’re going to move in together (why? And when was this decided? Not that I care, but they could’ve cut a scene of them bickering to show a scene where they arrived at a decision together for once). It makes absolutely no sense-they have Fiona’s whole place to themselves, why waste $3000 a month living in some other apartment all to themselves? Just because it has two bathrooms? Do they shit that much?
And then, ooh, bad news for Fiona-her business partners require her to kick in another 25 grand or their investment will be dead in the water. I still don’t know how she went from having $50K to invest to $100K, so this new twist is just more bullshit that I can’t care about.
Then there’s a scene where we have to see Carl’s new girlfriend’s head in Ian’s lap. WTF. We need to see Mickey’s head there-or better yet, Ian using Mickey’s perfect thighs as a pillow.
There’s a couple of boring, unfunny bits of the nun and then the priest (is it supposed to be hilarious that the dad from Full House is spewing out sex scenario names Nancy must’ve googled?) from Kev and Vee’s kids’ preschool with a dildo. Seriously, Nance, not even close to funny, probably time to put yourself out to pasture, old girl. This show has used dildos as a sight gag so many times at this point there’s just nothing more to do with them except maybe shove them up the writers’ asses.
Lip’s storyline this week is something out of very, very bad fan fiction: A movie star comes to their house! Cuz, that happens, okay? I’m sure studios and billion dollar make up companies don’t run any kind of background check on people they hire to babysit their clients-why would they? It’s not like a crazed fan would rape/maim/kill the object of their obsession or anything. ANYONE can be a star minder for one day, surely.
BORING ALERT: Lip has a couple more running scenes this week, because no one got enough of that last episode. This week the least they could’ve done was play the Friends theme song over the endless footage where he’s chasing Courtney Cox around on location in Chicago.
While watching, I was wondering if Courtney’s role was written for her or they just settled for her when Roseanne Barr was suddenly unavailable-the stuff they had her say and do (except for the sprinting) seemed like it was written for a more jaded motherly type-but I’m jumping ahead. Since we DID get CC, here’s a couple of stray observations. 1. She looks like a rich man’s Emmy Rossum, and 2. was part of the purpose of her storyline to throw shade at Jennifer Aniston? Her character is named Jen Wagner, and there’s this whole dumb thing where Nancy’s trying to make, “Face it, you’re gorgeous” happen as her make up commercials’ tag line-which was reminiscent of Aniston’s ads for L’Oreal that stated “I’m/you’re worth it”.
Meanwhile, after Fi gets the devastating news that she needs to come up with more money she tries to get out of taking the new apartment with Bored by lying to him and telling him she smelled mold there-HE RESTORES OLD HOUSES/BUILDINGS FOR A LIVING why does Nancy think that was a clever lie for Fiona to come up with? How stupid is Fi supposed to be?
Back at the Gallaghers, Ian is practicing self defense moves with Carl and Kelly to prevent someone from raping him at knife point. Everyone’s flipping each other in these scenes and it just felt like they wanted to give their stunt coordinator (and Cam’s double) a lot of (boring) shit to do this week...Ian’s final scenes being played out with this meaningless newbie (who Carl will probably wind up killing or dumping or both) made me very sad. I guess maybe it was to build dramatic tension for when Ian’s in his cell later and the door slides open before he turns around. But it’s lame because the scenes play like he’s JUST realizing prison’s rapey.
Someone knocks at the door-my heart started racing but it wasn’t Mickey. A guy who wasn’t in the jail scenes tells Ian Joselito sent him. Ian starts asking him about the guys he was in county lock up with-WHO CARES. The guy tells him the couple he’s asking about broke up when one of them got out and Nancy throws in a line about long distance relationships not working. Joselito sent this Antonio guy to give Ian an “in-depth safety orientation about Beckman Correctional” before they send him up.
Antonio draws Ian a map of the facility and tells him the areas to avoid, then draws a big circle with Mickey Mouse ears on it and tells him that’s “Disneyland” and he can get all good things there-smooth blowies, weed, Snickers...I’m sure ol’ Nancy thought she was being clever, but it just took me out of the scene hearing Antonio say “Disney” at least three times-reminded me of Cam’s publicity stunt “coming out date” there last year.
Fi comes in and asks if anyone has any money (shades of S4 when Ian gave her his Fairy Tail tips) and that she needs 25 grand. She’s so stupid. And she’s honestly that out of touch with the family that she thinks maybe one of them has thousands of dollars they could give her? (although, if she had only gotten to Lip before he tried to buy Xan...)
Fiona tells Ian, “Don’t forget, I’m driving you to prison tomorrow.” And that’s the last time they see each other. So much for family, eh, Nance?
A huge time waster of a scene where Kev and Vee pack up all their sex toys and then another drawn out scene of them throwing the stuff off a bridge happen. Seriously, these are Cameron’s final moments on this shit show-they couldn’t think of anything for him to do? This was all screen time Cam and Noel could have had, SHOULD have had!
I have to recap this next bit because it was beyond belief unrealistic-Frank steals a bicycle and goes following Katey Sagal and her ex-husband when they leave the hospital in an Audi-and Frank manages to keep up with them all the way to their nice neighborhood that must be some distance away since it was daylight when they left and dark when they get to their door. Frank. On a bicycle. Kept up. YOU’RE SUCH A DUMB FUCK, NANCY.
Then there’s more White Castle with the money shot of the food and packaging all over the Gallagher kitchen table. Courtney gets to make a bulimia joke Nancy wrote into the scene. Hope you weren’t looking for a Guest Starring Emmy, CC.
Ian tells a “Carl story” about him puncturing his scrotum (on purpose) with a screwdriver when he was a kid. Carl must have the most mangled dick and scrotum on the planet between his several botched circumcisions and now this. Kelly asks him if that’s why he has “that scar”. You know what, Nance? While some people do in fact find scars sexy, self inflicted ones on scrotums don’t make that list.
Debbie comes in, recognizes “the chick from the make up ads” having dinner with them. I’m sorry-having WHITE CASTLE with them. Now everyone else sees it too, and Kelly insists that CC says “the” line that Nancy made up to make happen-why do they keep trying to make meaningless things A Thing?
After dinner, Jen is giving Ian advice about prison: “Find a hobby, it makes time go so much faster.” Ian asks, “Did you learn that from one of your movies?” and she says she did 48 hours for DUI (hey, just like Ethan, Nancy!). Jen really needed to get into making TP paper mache to get through 2 days?
Debbie, desperate to make shit about her says, “Maybe I should go to prison too. It seems like the only way I’ll find a real relationship.” WHY are they acting like Ian’s going away on a single’s cruise?
Jen says to Debs that’s not true and Debbie says it is, that she’s unlucky in love (when the fuck has she ever been “in love”?)...”men, women...”
Jen tells her she’s a special woman (how the fuck does she know?) and that she doesn’t want just anyone, she wants somebody “who gets you” and then for the second time in two weeks an older woman, without determining if Debbie is of age, pulls her into a kiss and the others (Ian, Lip, Carl, Kelly) stare like, “WTF?” The kiss ends and Debbie looks all amazed like she did after the Mel kiss, but then Jen looks at everyone and says, “I played a lesbian once in a movie.” And that’s what your research into that role led you to believe lesbians do? Kiss random teens when they’re whining? Lip starts the “Face it” line and everyone else chips in with “you’re gorgeous” and everyone laughs and I don’t get why it’s funny or even why it’s supposed to be funny. Seemed like they were trying to drive home the point that ACTORS only PLAY gay characters, but no matter how convincing they seem, they are in reality the much more “preferable” heterosexuals we can feel safe with and really want them to be. Fuck you, Shameless.
Also, Courtney/Jen is three times older than Debbie-CC is 54 irl and Debs is forever 17 now, so more Kash vibes for anyone who was missing those. Also perpetuates the writer room’s fantasy that hot young actors would find middle and past middle age folks suitable sex partners.
Fi goes to Patsy’s Pies and there’s another hysterically lame scene where she opens the office safe and is counting out money-I don’t know how much a place like Patsy’s rakes in (or keeps in their safe) but I would think it would take a long time to accumulate 25K in CASH in this day and age of debit and credit cards. She abandons that bad idea and winds up going down to the docks and drinking with a Patsy’s employee and reciting all her “mo money” problems while he counters with the facts that his car’s been repossessed and that he and his moms are being evicted from the projects. Then the guy kisses drunk Fi but she tells him she has a boyfriend and that she has to apologize for lying to him (although, really, the underlying implication is she has to apologizing for never seeing that he’s always right about her being a dumb woman who has no head for business decisions).
Lip and Ian have their last one on one scene. After the movie star mom for a day leaves, Ian’s fake smoking on the front steps and Lip joins him. Lip gives him money for his commissary account and Ian says, “I’ll pay you back,” (but not thank you) and Lip says, “No you won’t,” and I’m at home saying, “Lip, why are you being such a dick?” Ian goes to hand him the lit cigarette, but pulls it away when Lip reaches for it, but then gives it to him and rubs his shoulder. I guess this is supposed to signal to us that they’ve said everything that’s needed to be said? Except we’ve been watching and we know Lip is supposed to be a mouthy motherfucker and in the old days they would’ve had actual conversations that they DID NOT have at all-all their conversations this season have been short and awkward. Ian’s been made into a fucking mute now, even in these final moments.
Their last scene should’ve been in their room, in their beds-Ian can’t sleep and they talk things out in the dark like the brothers they used to be, but no. Can’t have that.
The Fiona drama finding out Bored has a wife, kid, and house and then drunkenly smashing up her leased vehicle is so “bad soap opera” I can’t believe this show is still on the air. If we were supposed to cry for Fiona as her make up and fake blood ran down her face after her millionth time of being let down by a guy everyone else could see was an ass from the start-well, we just didn’t.
Next day the Gallaghers are waiting in the living room for Fiona to take Ian to prison. Kev steps up to drive them all in his truck.
They get there, get out, and Ian looks around, then says to his family, “All right. I thought Geneva and some of the others would be here but...” Thank christ they weren’t!!! The show/Ian wasted too much time on those randos as it was. However, credit where credit is due-the show got us all the way through this swan song arc without bringing up Terror once! But I digress, back to our scene. Carl says, “You can only count on family, dude.” I scream BULLSHIT at my TV screen.
Debbie says, “I’m gonna miss you.”
Group hug. Kev says, “Don’t get too raped in there, aight?” Everybody breaks apart, the moment ruined. Kev says he doesn’t know what to say in these situations (and clearly no one can improvise but Noel). Vee says, “How about goodbye and I love you?”
Kev says, “Goodbye, man. I love you.”
Ian says, “I love you guys too.” Wasting it on the wrong fucking people! All of them-except Kev and Vee who never voiced an opinion-didn’t care if went to prison!
Ian looks at Lip, walks over to him. “Hey, uh, thanks for being my brother.”
Lip, still a dick, says, “Never had a choice.” That’s right, bitch-you didn’t get to choose to play the interesting gay brother, you got cast as the dick know-it-all who never cared about anyone but himself.
During this entire farewell scene I was sitting at home, strangely unmoved. I felt nothing watching it, probably because everyone was such an asshole about Ian going to prison all season, plus never caring about what he was doing all last season, plus the fact that none of these characters are the characters we first got to know. It hasn’t been a case of character growth and development, it’s been character assassination and retconning.
Ian breaks the hug. “All right. See you guys.” He goes to the gate, shows his papers, gets let in through the gate, waves to his family as he walks past the fence, walks into the prison, slaps his phone (wouldn’t he just give that to Lip to hold on to? Battery’s gonna be dead by the time he gets out) and watch (probably ditto on the watch battery) onto a counter, strips down so we see one last quick shot of his naked ass (what, no cavity search? And just how long has it been since we’ve seen his unclothed ass anyway?), and a glimpse of the boob tattoo.
Next we see him in his yellow “I Love You, Philip Morris” jumpsuit, carrying his bedding through the GP. He’s attracting “fresh meat” attention and Cam actually does a really good job of looking a bit scared while trying to look tough and “don’t fuck with me”-there’s a vulnerability there, but he’s not overplaying it, and he’s certainly not overplaying the fronting. His acting was really powerful in that scene.
They put him in his cell and slam the door and he winces a little at the sound, then he sadly looks at his 6X8 foot (or whatever the dimensions are) room, puts his bedding pile on the top bunk and leaves his hands up there and lets his head hang down. He hears the door slide open behind him again and gets this, “Ugh, here we go,” expression on his face and turns around to see it’s Mickey standing there.
Me at home: Not what I wanted for end game but I’m still thrilled to see the man, the myth, the legend again anyway. He’s all beefy still from when he was shooting Fonzo and looking good.
Ian’s looking at him like he’s not sure he’s really there.
Mickey mildly says, “I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?”
Ian’s got tears in his eyes now and says, “Holy fuck.”
“Oh hey-I got bottom,” Mickey says as he points to the lower bunk. Then he walks past Ian and says, “So...you’re on top,” in a bit of a sing-songy voice.
He flops down onto the bunk, puts his hand behind his head-and check out the gifs closely, especially on Twitter-in the jumpsuit you can see the outline of his dick and it “twitches in interest” as the fan fics say (don’t know if Noel did it by adjusting his thigh, don’t know if it was intentional or what-but it was a sight to see whatever the case). He does a lip lick/bite combination, Ian’s face lights up a bit and he gives a smile, he crawls onto the bunk on top of Mickey, pinning his hand down while Mickey smiles softly, they gaze at each other a beat, Ian gently strokes Mickey’s cheek, Mickey wraps his free hand behind Ian’s neck, their noses boop, and Ian sort of gently thrusts into a kiss (it was good-definitely had a bit of a sexual vibe to it), which Mickey expertly returns. It was a very good kiss, tender and loving, but that scene needed words, needed Ian to say SOMETHING to Mickey-needed an “I’m sorry” and a “thank you for always being here for me” and exchanged I love yous. Neither of these boys are ever told they’re loved! JFC, nine seasons and the show couldn’t manage to work mutual ILYs in ONCE? Fuck you, Shameless. They didn’t even say each other’s NAMES!
Mickey (and Noel) looked so fucking good lying there-relaxed and happy, finally back with his love where he’s always belonged. Even when his eyes are closed, they’re perfect. The angle the scene was shot at, we see more of Mickey’s microexpressions than Ian’s.
An after the credits began scene of them lying in an afterglow embrace would’ve been nice. Mickey could’ve mocked Ian’s hair (give us one last “Fire Crotch” you cowards!) and boob tattoo (or offered to fix that for him while they’re in the joint).
Mickey’s got new ink on his forearm we never see clearly. Until and unless we’re told otherwise, I’m saying it’s a big ginger root ;) Bam.
On a personal note, and not to rain on anybody’s parade, while I believe 100% in Drunk Crew Guy and what he said, I really don’t see us getting another scene in the finale. This show’s attention span is down to nothing now, and I can’t see them dragging these guys back out now that they’ve given us (shitty) endgame. I don’t think enough time will have passed to let them out of prison by then, I think those final episodes are going to be about Fiona leaving and not Ian and Mickey getting to Mexico-and I can’t really see Mickey being able to go back there now that he’s crossed a cartel. My feeling is the show filmed 2 possible endings using Noel to choose from-one ending with them in Mexico and the other being the one we got. They probably ripped off The Shawshank Redemption too much with a Mexico ending and decided to go with this “original” idea instead. I’d love nothing more than to be wrong, and to get one more scene of these two free and happy. Cam’s question mark at the end of his farewell post and the fact that I do trust everything DCG said leaves a spark of hope burning in my heart, but hopefully I can back away from endless online speculation and theories about it over the next 5 months. If it happens, beautiful. If it doesn’t, at least we got one last look at Mickey and he’s getting dicked down and the love he’s always deserved, even if I hate the fact they’re locked up and will be in danger whenever they’re not in their cell-not to mention this is the shitty way gay love stories get handled in general, but I must not go down that path again in this recap.
I want to add that Mickey didn’t sound all that “Mickey” in his scene, but maybe he didn’t need his swagger and was being more “real” to let Ian know he had a choice (as always, Mickey didn’t force himself on Ian-he let him come to him). And kudos to Cam for not doing his hideous Chicago accent for most of the episode.
There WAS love and chemistry in that final scene. Just sucks that we don’t get it anywhere else in the show and they wasted so much time last night that could’ve been given to Cameron and Noel.
But hey, I’m finally free of recapping ;) While I’m sorry the Gallavich parts are now over, I’m not sorry I can finally quit missing what we used to get while watching what the show now does. Mickey and Ian are back together now, so, fuck you, Shameless.
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stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried
so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)
game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok
we’re starting off on a great note
Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD
soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM
i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now
Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)
then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone
IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW
DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS
hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao
oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao
i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection
i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!
ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333
Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!
see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it!
but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery
Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......
OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question
rooney's eye are so BIG
just like her tiddies
lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes
Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?
WHO
i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn
i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and
tru
I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh
SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3
ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me
im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.
OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo
imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo
good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well
thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful
thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘
do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?
euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google
You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg
lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on
I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine
Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls
YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’
@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)
yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously.
I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!
YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine
Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.
OMG LMAO NO what
i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it
I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️
lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him
yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"
WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET
SAME
that’s all i care about when i play
that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it
i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child
sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?
boop
hi i love you ♡ pass it on
I LOVE U
Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares
SAME
my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop
Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.
maybe he should 🤔 but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay
i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him
thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.
My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did
🤔
you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin
i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.
omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33
Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN
WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok
Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.
WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN
do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao
You love to make me cry
i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear
I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂
I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”
whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))
OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother
Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha
well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!
I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi
SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho
Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist
I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)
ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!
Lou is an angel honestly
“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”
what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.
omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3
Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/
I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me
Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x
no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.
is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends
it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that
I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE
EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)
waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see
u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night
Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO
Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.
YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3
One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.
OMG LMAOOOOO
NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT
who’s making these i want one
your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME
Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x
ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3
Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?
i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.
there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE
OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}
I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...
OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao
Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.
LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same
u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh
oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔
Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)
LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP
let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever
omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP
in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl
i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.
OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.
ur dead 2 me
I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!
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