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hella1975 · 11 months

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hella would you like to tell the class (me) about your touya playlist

i dont WANT to im GOING TO bc i literally am acting posessed rn and have no say in the matter anymore. fuck my stupid baka life. anyway id like to preface this by saying to anyone who actually knows anything about mha that some of what i say might be fanon hcs and not canon, and that's bc ive absorbed mha content in possibly the most insane way possible and at this point even i dont know what's canon and what's from the hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction ive read in a short amount of time. like i am in free fall rn i have bigger problems to be quite honest

touya's playlist song-by-song!

so off the bat, this playlist is much more somber and angsty than you might expect of dabi and that's bc i already have a playlist specifically for his identity as dabi, and that leans way more into songs that have his VIBES and/or i feel like he'd listen to. this one however is just pure devastation bc alas he is fucked in the head.

the archer - COMBAT HE IS LITERALLY READY FOR COMBAT! his whole personality the reason he was PUT ON THIS EARTH was to fight and be a hero he was never supposed to be a child he was never supposed to be HUMAN he was always always defined by his ability to fight his skill as a firewielder his need to surpass all might. i say i dont want that but what if i do? he just wants his dad to love him, to acknowledge him, and if this is what it takes then by god he'll do it until it literally kills him BUT ALL OF MY HEROES DIED ALL ALONE! HIS DAD IS THE NO.2 HERO AND HE'S THE FIRST PERSON TOUYA NEEDED SAVING FROM! THEY SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME THEY SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME CAN YOU SEE RIGHT THROUGH ME? HE'S NOT THE FIGHTER HE SAYS HE IS HE'S JUST A CHILD. and then the most sickening bit: all the kings horses and all the king's men couldn't put me back together again. his body literally falls apart on him and the childish reference to humpty dumpty is just the reminder that he was only thir-fucking-teen when that happened. who could ever leave me. who could stay

the view between villages - this song is obvs 'being in your home and feeling it all coming back at once' and for noah kahan that's specifically the drive 'between villages' but for touya this song really makes me think of sekoto peak and just the todoroki residence as a whole. it's this beautiful lush forested area and it's where touya todoroki dies. he asks for his dad to come and see a technique that he's learned, something that's finally his, something shouto can't do, and enji isn't there and it kills touya. his quirk malfunctions and he burns himself alive and takes this beautiful landscape with him and enji isn't there. a minute from home but i feel so far from it. the death of my dog the stretch of my skin it's all washing over me im angry again. the things that i lost here the people i knew! they got me surrounded for a mile or two! losing my mind!

strangers - what started it all. he is yet another 'i tried to be good am i no good?' character and im not okay about it at all in the slightest. please, i just wanted to be good enough. i tried to be good and it set me alight. i just wanted to be yours. and then touya dies and they FORGET ABOUT HIM there's no public backlash there's no inquiry there's hardly even a funeral shouto doesn't remember him natsuo and fuyumi are hardly allowed to mention him the world consciously actively and purposely buries touya todoroki his memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence and then he returns. he returns ugly and scarred and barely held together. am i making you feel sick. and through it all, his mother is in a mental hospital, watching him on the news, crying and waiting up for him. dont think about it too hard or you'll never sleep a wink at night again.

ptolemaea - this song captures 'the breaking point' perfectly and that's just very touya especially for sekoto peak. promising a fire any fire im on fire im on fire im on fire what have you done stop stop make it stop ive had enough stop stop stop stop STOP I AM THE FACE OF LOVE'S RAGE. and so dabi was born in fire and anguish and agony. also if u take the doctor and all for one angle with this song about how they wanted touya as a second shigaraki and they took him from sekoto peak then the whole 'you poor thing you sweet mourning lamb there's nothing you can do it's already been done' is v much giving that angle of them taking advantage. blessed be the children each and every one come to know their god through some senseless act of violence.

be an astronaut - i talked about this song the other day bc the lyrics are kinda inexplicable but it fucking GUTS me and i could not tell you why. like the desperation of the vocals is just ughhhh give me a song that sounds borderline hysterical and ill eat it up regardless of what it's about. replace 'astronaut' with any specific character's motivation and you've got a prewrapped blorbo song right there. touya you were born to be your father's destiny and you'll do that or die trying. but there's an overarching air that it's a pity, it's a waste, it's hopeless. the song is almost MOCKING. all touya wants is revenge on endeavor, and yes it's blind and hateful and consumes him, but still is it really so much to ask? but he doesn't even get that much. the way the manga is going, touya will die and endeavor will be redeemed. nothing dabi did ever mattered. touya todoroki never mattered. it was always as ridiculous as a child saying they want to be an astronaut

waiting room - he got away from the abuse he opened his eyes and took down his father from the pedestal he put him on he acknowledged that his dad wasn't the hero anyone thought he was he already admitted the scary thing; that endeavor is not and never was good and everything he fed touya was wrong. it's for the better that he knows these things. it is. it's for the better. he's glad to be away from home. he is he is he is. it's for the better i know it's for the better i know it's for the better

christmas kids - YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR NAME AND CHANGE YOUR MIND AND LEAVE THIS FUCKED UP PLACE BEHIND BUT I'LL KNOW!!!!!!! 'dabi' and 'touya' are such wildly different people because dabi genuinely believes that touya todoroki is dead. he died at thirteen at sekoto peak and dabi was born. they aren't the same. touya was the weak, abused child who just wanted to be good. dabi is the villain ready to spill blood in his name. but at the end of the day, dabi is touya and touya is dabi. he can pick another name, go wherever he likes, join the league of villains if he wants, but that will always, always be true

i bet on losing dogs - this is just perpetually playing when i think about him. he's doomed to fail. he's not going to make it. i already know he isn't but oh god he deserved better

a burning hill - okay i was feeling funny like yes 'im tired of wanting more' 'im a forest fire and i am the fire and i am the forest and i am the witness watching it' is v touya coded and the general exhaustion of this song is horrific on its own let alone applied to a character that has been through so goddamn much, but also... it's literally a burning hill.... sekoto peak was a burning hill.... ha.... haha

mary on a cross - so glad u specificaly sent this ask bc the tbosutuals are SO insane about this song. like yes like all ghost songs it's technically just about horny sin but i will always, always associate this song with character death. specifically (and this is why it upsets me so much) this is one of the few character death songs of mine that isn't objectively sad, and that's because it reminds me of their LIFE. like it feels like a flashback in the moment of death of all the beautiful things, and it was beautiful it was brilliant, but they die anyway. they dont get to make it despite despite despite. and THAT'S why this song will always fuck with me. so yeah. touya. admittedly he's not on darya's level yet bc this will always be her song but for me to even touch this song with another character speaks volumes

cigarette daydreams - the ultimate 'you were too young to experience what you did' anthem. the vibes of this song are so dismal it sounds like what rain feels like. you were only seventeen. touya was 13/14 when he died and he woke up from his coma as dabi when he was 16/17 (pretty sure it was 16 but 17 works better with this song so shhhh). and then he's just. unaccounted for until he's 24. he's nothing and no one on the streets of japan and in the criminal underworld and he's just a fucking kid. a scared, traumatised, in constant pain kid.

hearing damage - hiiii it's me and this song again <3 similar to cigarette daydreams im going crazy about vibes again. like this song is so unsettling it's like static it FEELS like a dissociation and that's a really common coping mechanism for someone who's experienced high levels of trauma/constant stress to just pull the shutters down and tap out of the bad thing happening. like ive said before even if it isnt confirmed or denied yet that i know of i do firmly believe that dabi's just been on the streets since he was a teenager and i just think this really fits.

class of 2013 - rei never saved him. that child still screaming for their mother to help them never ever goes away. he's this big scary villain now, covered in scars and piercings, but every single day he has to fight and keep up a mask and watch for threats. do you think he thinks about her then? him, tired and so so hurt, and her fading away in a hospital because, just like him, she broke under the weight of enji's ambition? they're the two family fuck-ups, the two that couldn't take it, do you think he misses her? just once, could she wash the dye out of his hair and save him?

go home - KILLING MYSELF. this song is fine whatever im not talking about it any more than i did in that post but i will say this is very burn it all down by dorothycanfly dabi specifically bc that fic has been haunting me since i finished it crying my eyes out at 4am this morning god bless <3

georgia - kind of a dabihawks angle bc im a sucker for them but also just in general 'if i fix you will you hate me' dabi NEEDS this hatred of endeavor. he quite literally has nothing else down to his SKIN. he's made his entire life's purpose and quite clearly intends to go out in a blaze of glory WITH his dad. that's it. that's the endgame. kill endeavor. kill himself with him. how fucking sad is that. like it's PATHETIC in the worst way. he's clawing at this fucking revenge plan and pretending it's this grand, badass thing as if it's not just the small hands of touya reaching up from the grave for his father one last time. if i fix you will you hate me, because if someone took this from him, if someone gave him a will to live outside of this fury, if someone fixed him, then all of this would have been for nothing.

maggot - this is a more deranged 'i tried to be good' variation imo like i did everything right i made my bed i walked for hours i took my pills and you love me right? you need me? but what if im just a corpse and you're a maggot feeding? what then? is it still love? is it something more? or is it disgusting? he was only ever wanted for his fire. no one actually cared about touya.

everything i wanted - NO ONE CRIED NOBODY EVEN NOTICED I SAW THEM STANDING RIGHT THERE KINDA THOUGHT THEY MIGHT CARE. THEY FORGOT ABOUT HIM. THEY BURIED HIM. ON PURPOSE THEY BURIED HIM BECAUSE HIS MEMORY AND HOW FUNDAMENTALLY THEY FAILED HIM MADE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE. IT WAS LIKE HE NEVER EVEN EXISTED. YOU DONT EVEN REALISE SHOUTO HAS ANOTHER BROTHER UNTIL NATSUO BRINGS IT UP FIVE FUCKING SEASONS IN.

the family jewels - i dont htink i need to elaborate on this one lmao. obligatory complicated family dynamics anthem

seventeen - like cigarette daydreams i know he wasn't specifically seventeen and im not purposely picking songs that focus on that lmao. i love this song so much like the vocals of 'you don't know fuck about my family, could never tell you what happened the day i turned SEVENTEENNNN' scratches SUCH an itch in my brain im obsessed with it. like there's a mystery to it bc she never elaborates on what actually happened but clearly it's something bad. i really like that side of it like i love the mystery and for so long in the anime dabi is a HUGE mystery like there's no backstory reveal until SEASON SIX that's INSANE for such a main character to not get even a HINT of backstory for so long.

father - I HAVE THIS DREAM THAT I AM HITTING MY DAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT AND HE IS SCREAMING AND CRYING FOR HELP AND MAYBE HALFWAY THROUGH IT HAS MORE TO DO WITH ME KILLING HIM THAN IT EVER DID PROTECTING MYSELF! literally one of the most insane lyrics of any song ever im being deadly serious there is so much to unpack there so much to consider so much packed into one line. it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself. WHAT

body terror song - body horror dabi hours! this man is 70% fourth degree burns that are only still attached to his healthy skin by fucking medical staples. i dont even want to consider how much chronic pain he has. every fic that has him having to redo/adjust a staple feeds me bc im so compelled by his character design. how is he not high off his shit every day just to cope. it's heavily implied he doesn't even have TEAR DUCTS anymore so when he cries it's just blood. he loses his fucking personhood to the flames so much that he renames himself cremation because that's what he is now and the anime just... never addresses it. never says if it hurts or not. this ALONE would be my cause for killing endeavor for leaving him in this state let alone the million other layers to it i cannot BELIEVE some people say it's unjustified sorry im not gonna go off on a tangent but ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING

dirty night clowns - i adore this song i couldnt tell you wtf it's about but it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and i thought that was fitting for dabi. i really dont have much else to say like i do think this might just be one of those 'i have a personal interpretation of this song based solely on vibes' and it makes no sense to anyone else LOL

just take my wallet - YOUR MOMMA'S CRYING! YOUR MOMMA'S CRYING FOR YOU! WHAT'S THE SOFTEST WAY TO SAY YOU TOOK AWAY MY FRIEND? i feel like this is another 'touya into dabi' song like rei is crying for her son but touya is dead. there's only dabi now. dabi killed touya to become something that could ruin endeavor, and that's all that matters now

#there we go! this got long but im not even sorry just DO NOT click the read more if you're not interested #you WILL regret it lmao #feeling normal amounts of thoughts and emotions about this one made up freak #ask #touya todoroki #song rec

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