#pls I actually can't do this anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

natelia-aldelliz · 1 year

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"What if I fade?"

Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.

"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."

Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.

"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."

Roach finally looks towards him.

"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."

Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.

"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.

"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."

And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.

"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."

Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.

"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."

Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?

They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.

"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."

#cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #gary roach sanderson #soaproach #roachghost #ghostsoap #ghostsoaproach #they're in love and stupid #more necromancer!soap and ghost!roach wooo #accidental necromancer soap and ghost roach au #i like writing the angsty parts but just imagine the happy ending from the other posts it's what i do bc i can't do no happy ending #anyway yeah that was supposedly their love confession but they're repressed military men so after that they ignored it for a few days #and then they accepted that they were actually in love and the shenanigans started again #this is the kind of love triangle that i like where all three are in love with the other two but think they're the only one like that #and then they realise that no they're just dumb and they're all in love and all ends well and they're happy ever after #roach : anyway now that we're talking about love - you're in love with my boyfriend and he's in love with you now make a move finally pls #roach : it's not that fun anymore watching you squirm; that's not the kind of squirming i want to see you do #roach : and simon will take care of that real easily so please go confess already #soap : O////O wh-what?

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knifebaby3000 · 4 months

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the wind has carried us too far, it's blown the moon down

#artists on tumblr #illustration #art #oc #digital art #my art #tian #happy bday to zhu's man tian tian we luv u tian tian a man for the last day of the year #''i won't be able to do anything for his bday bc i won't have my graph display'' false i love him and technically i have an ipad #''okay i'll just do this quick'' false i've been agonizing over this for 24hrs. the procreate timelapse is hilarious #''OKAY i can't look at this anymore i am DONE'' false we're adding chrysanthemums #this is the first thing i've actually forced myself to do in procreate start to finish........... many things i want 2 fix but not bad #973963747347525000% diff from doing in photoshop. learned many funny things abt my [ checks notes ] process #funniest thing was finding out i know exactly what t looks like in photoshop but in procreate...... whuh. huh. sorry to this man #anyway happy new year's (eve)!!!!!!!! i hope 2024 treats us all so well pls take care!!!!!!!!!!!!

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rapidhighway · 3 months

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The problem with me is that I need to drink my body weight in the most expensive juice every single day or I will die

#I can't drink the cheap ones anymore #i literally could treat myself some time ago and I started drinking like the fancy #100% squeezed juice that costs 8zł for the smallest bottle #i dont like the other ones they taste like shit now i cant go back ToT #there is a single one that i actually enjoy that's cheap and it's somehow the most chemical juice on the planet #caprio multiwitamina my beloved #tastes like domestos but i love it #but I've been drinking it constantly before bc i didn't want to spend my money on teh expensive ones and now I've had enoughh #anyway i bought the expensive juice today n i immediately drank it all in one sitting like some kind of animal.#TOT pls send help i do not have the money to be buying this shit Tot

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horiizonsstuff · 11 months

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guys I don't think I can nae nae anymore. S4 specials pls come out already I can't live like this anymore. I JUST WANT TO SEE MY HUSBAND AGAIN PLEASE 😭🙏‼️

CAN HE JUST SHOW UP IN MY DOORSTEP ALREADY RAAAAAAHHHHHHH,

this is my update that I'm not dead I am simply becoming mentally ill over some bird you don't get TTTE doodles for the month sorry 😔

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leadendeath · 1 year

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For all artists and those who appreciate them:

please enable your archive. tumblr made a change a while back where they disabled it by default.

because of this, artists: i now cannot go back into your archive to reblog and love your past works! :(

and non-artists who support artists by reblogging: i can't go back into your archive and love on what you reblogged when we have the same interests or enjoy the same kinds of art! :(

nobody wins!

you can re-enable your archive like this:

alternatively, the url for editing is this: https://www.tumblr.com/settings/blog/[your blog name here]

without the brackets ofc

and it's the second thing down after username, titled custom theme.

if i get this out to even one person who hasn't realised, then i will have done my job. if i hear "i didn't know this :0 thanks!" then i will feel successful. i hope this sounded friendly enough!!! and you don't Have to do this, but by god it makes the site easier to use and retains a good feature that shouldn't be phased out.

#btw i have a fundraiser pls check my k0-f1 the link is in my pinned post!! thank u ❤️‍🔥#PLEASE REBLOG #i got lovebombed with likes and reblogs (not on *My* art but oh well) by a mutual and i used to like going into his archive to return fire;#but i can't do that anymore because his archive is disabled by default by tumblr :(#edit: people are Actually reading the post… thank you …… you are making this hellsite a better place again #it feels good #somehow it feels like i’m making a difference; or at least being listened to #that’s all i ever wanted

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benetnvsch · 7 months

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if I had a nickel every time I watched an anime where a character voiced by Patrick Seitz blows up a character voiced by Griffin Puatu I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice-

#chat does this mean anything to u?#this is uhhhh #kunikida and Tecchou (obvs) and then cursed arm and Tristan #so fucking good both times- they're two of my favorite #I believe?? they also May have a moment in beastars as Riz and Louis but idk if they fight (they don't I think it's just rip and the wolf)#MY GOD actually lemme just say rq-#(and mutuals -I sincerely apologize for this pls don't judge me)#hearing Patrick seitz talk about how the only way to love herbivores is to eat them Gave Me All The Diseases /pos #“I can't remember his face or voice anymore but I can remember his taste and smell like it was yesterday”#“our claws and fangs are for devouring the helpless... im sure ill never forget ur taste either” WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT #“I was saving the pretty boy but he was delicious” fucking kill me rn do it-#I don't even watch beastars I just say a clip and went bonkers cuz ofc I recognized his voice-

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sysig · 10 months

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Okay honestly I might have to take a break from posting with the lack of legacy editor, the new system is fucked in so many ways

#I literally can't with the window pop up just to add a caption to each picture??? What is this Patreon????#It's so bad like I feel like I'm overreacting but this makes me so fucking itchy #I only had one new set prepped but like - the new editor is completely turning me off doing Anything with it #You can't drag and drop you can't just click and type the caption while looking at the picture which is like??#You're literally blocking what I'm trying to make words about wtf why it was perfect before I literally can't see any improvement #Maybe the character limit but I never hit mine so idk #And then HTML editing turns /everything/ into HTML including the pictures???? Leave it alone!#I don't know what up but it is Super turning me off #Only positive is it gets me chomping at the bit to make my own site again :/ Not exactle a big plus #Hoping and praying those things are all glitches but they look so implemented :////#Literally just give us the options Pls #The site's already broken let me break it how I want #Oh fucking good! The '''''''caption'''''''' is actually just alt text so that's just gone??? Yeah fuck that #/And/ autotags don't work #Yeah I actually can't post anymore if those things aren't features :)#Anybody remember the five+ weeks of counting up until they fixed their shit a few years ago?#Yeah. Might be sequel time fellas

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vitearred · 2 years

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idk if i'm being delusional but with all of the 8 significations in hirano to kagiura related stuff (kagi's confession chapter, the 8 of hearts card, THAT scene in the 8th episode of sasamiya anime...) i'm really convinced something important is gonna happen (to not go as far as saying that they're gonna get together officially then, i want to but maybe that's too much (? Unless👀) around the time that august comes in the manga (next chapter is also in august but that's too soon), specifically on hirano's birthday. Maybe they'll have a really good time and it results in hirano realizing his feelings in a being really sure of what he wants kind of way(?? same way kagi felt like telling hirano that he loved him after the game on his own birthday, tho i read someone else say that maybe volume 8 will be significant???

Idk what but SOMETHING is coming on hirano's birthday i can't be the only one thinking this, i know i'm not

#hirano to kagiura #sasaki to miyano #kagihira #hirakagi #hirano taiga #kagiura akira #harusono shou #don't judge me i NEED to make shit up so i can survive another three months #but this actually makes sense and i'm not the first person who noticed the 8 significations #i hope something actually happens or i kms haha jk💀#pls be together i can't take it anymore boys #ugh #why do gay ppl #sobs loudly

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iniziare · 1 year

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Shady’s back, tell a friend— god, it feels good to type on a regular keyboard again, behind, guess what, behind the third-biggest babe in my life, my desktop computer. I don’t know what it says about me that I put so much value in a stationary computer, does it make me more of a boomer? I sure hope so. Anyway, she is installed and while we’re still waiting on internet, my phone is being used as the common hotspot in the apartment and the signal is pretty strong, so apart from work preparations, maybe it’ll also allow me to set up some things because I’ve started a Game of Thrones rewatch; I miss my books. But also, this boomer misses dodging bullets here (and writing too, I guess).

Aka, hi, we’re in our apartment— I have almost forgotten to cook/eat every day for 4 days now, because I’ve been single-handedly at war with one really greasy kitchen. Two more cabinets to go, folks, then I will know some kind of peace (translation: save me, my back is absolutely killing me, and I’ve been, mostly, suffering in silence).

#[ out of character. ] whatever. i don't really care. i'm just gonna sit this one out.#[ aka; this apartment was inhabited by i believe two guys. ]#[ you can tell. ]#[ that's all i'll say. ]#[ ... no i actually have a lot to say. the toilet smells like one you'd find in a gas station. ]#[ and we're unsure what happened there-- so we're gonna nuke it with products. we haven't yet decided what products. ]#[ the entire apartment feels like one that has been decently heavily smoked in but doesn't smell like it. ]#[ or not anymore any way. ]#[ it's that residue-- it's similar to caked on dust feeling greasy? except it's on places where caked on dust just... doesn't stay. ]#[ also the kitchen was gross. it looked fine on the surface but holy shit i've had to do a lot of cleaning. ]#[ when i say almost non-stop-- i mean i don't eat until like late afternoon and i call it dinner. ]#[ i just can't focus on anything other than this damn kitchen with all of its wonderful storage that i'll happily use once it's all cLEAN. ]#[ guys pls send help. i need help-- i can't do this alone even though i've been doing it alone. ]#[ /breathes. ]#[ i will sleep and finish it tomorrow. then i gotta get a steam cleaner for these floors and tackle those with it and a vacuum. ]#[ i love the apartment a lot but /holy shit. ]#[ my back. :( ]#[ and i'm waiting on my bedding so i can properly sleep-- in a bed... i will sleep for 24 hours. ]#[ hi; welcome to me returning but also-- welcome to my burnout and also my cleaning woes. ]

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hauntedpearl · 1 year

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literally never will get over how most hollywood writers who want to write Hindi in their shows will like. literally do everything but talk to a native speaker lmao. or so it seems like anyway. the consequence of this is that the most accurate hindi I've heard on television is, like, from the mouth of rajesh koothrapalli of big bang theory fame (AWFUL for me understandably) because kunal nayyar is an annoying delhiboi and probably just started speaking on his own

#they made nisa kurshid say three sentences in hindi like months ago and im still LAUGHING #wait not months weeks #maybe one month #like what DID I EXPECT FROM PEOPLE WHO NAMED ONE PERSON LATIKA #god i will not say more im actually not spnwin crit don't come for me lmao i just think it's soooo funny when they do this #like. LMAO PLS i can't even be offended anymore i just point and laugh #like that one interview w sofia vergara where she's like your spanish is soooo funny and it's bc all aunties from her home are like dying #laughing about it #anyway #this post bc muku pointed out grammar mistakes in some NRIs tiktok and i was like yeah YEAH LOL

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bookplush · 1 year

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youtube shorts are the bane of my goddamn existence

#they're so awful and i cannot stop watching them #i wish there were some way to turn them off #or at least stop them from showing up in my recommended #i wish i could just scroll through youtube looking for something to watch without getting distracted by some short #and getting sucked into flipping from short to short for an hour and a half #which like i know youtube WANTS me to get sucked into watching shorts for hours on end #so they'll never give me an option to opt out of it #but it's seriously getting to the point where i'm like. do i need to just delete my youtube app??#can i just not let myself watch youtube anymore at all????#is that where we're at?#i don't know how i'd get anything done if i actually had tiktok #anyway if anyone has advice on this please lmk #the issue isn't actually the shorts themselves its that there's no way to Turn Them Off #you can't get regular youtube anymore without the shorts popping up EVERYWHERE in your recommended #pls i just wanna watch my 40 minute video essays

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toothbeast · 1 year

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1 have CBat on loop when i read jujutsu kaisen

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #meet the artist #lmao #please send help #i'm having a mental breakdown rn doin pushups listening to CBat while reading jjk like actually i can't anymore my cats are biting me aaaaa #asdfghjkl;'asdfghjkjhjkmnbnmkiujhygfvbnjmknbgvfyhujhnb #find my 23 ao3 accounts #give me motivation #funny violin man desperateley needs hlp #help #if you have requests i'll gladly take thm and dreaw them #i need something to do o in my freetime #pls send requests

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noxtivagus · 2 years

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HSJFKDKSK I MISS PLAYING FFXIV

#— says me when i literally just played it two days ago #fr tho listening to stormblood ost feels just especially nostalgic #it reminds me of all the things of ffxiv that i used to love (and still do!) so much #and all the things i miss :(#like doing ivalice raids was such a treasure #and beast tribes ! i used to be so consistent w them i have nearly all my beast tribes maxed out !#i've been slacking on arr (i did max out the ixali tho) + i haven't even started on endwalker #pls ameliance is the only custom delivery i haven't maxed out. i haven't even unlocked her T_T #before endwalker came out i was nearly maxed on a lot of classes and stuff despite only playing for half a year #in summer months i remember playing so consistently. i spent a lot of time actually having fun w my friends iirc #school started more stress combined #thinking on back then damn younger me really needed a hug T_T #wtf does that say about me now when i'm struggling w very similar things as back then 🤨#my notes from back then are just as sad as now hhhhh #'social life sucks' 'bottling my emotions' 'too little time' 'missing out' 'no motivation' 'i cant write anymore'#'so many possibilities paths and regrets' 'curiosity breaks me' 'yearning for the past'#huh reading the ff quotes i also have written here are so embarrassing #anyways more from me back in november 'my mood seings are on a whole other level these days huh' haha #'finding that inspo to write again but i still cant find the words' 'when i can write again ill know that my im fines arent lies anymore'#'i want to be a pillar for those around me but how can i be when i can't even support myself properly?'#'you want to be there for others but... god you dont even have yourself put together. but it makes you smile so much when you help others.'#'its alright to be selfish sometimes you know? to admit that you feel overwhelmed'#'caught up in the past. catching up in the present. thinking about the future'#i have a lot written down here ah reading the old things i write feels so comforting. i still feel the same way as i do from ages ago #'just lose yourself to music and to the silence... you're in that moment all alone and it feels so nice'#no wtf i'm reading all this rn and even when i'm in pain i write in a somewhat poetic way ouch it hurts me and leaves me vulnerable?#NOOO I WAS GNA DO SMTH AN HOUR AHO BJT I FORGOT oops #time to pull myself out of this daydream i can mull over my thoughts again later. now it's time to move and be fucking productive #my muscles ache actually can i just go back to sleep T_T #my arm actually rlly hurts rn idk why but my sleepy ass has the urge to do smth stupid instead of rest

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trafficpan-ic · 13 days

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My own body system attacking itself just bcs i have stress is crazy

#i have so much pain and i dont want it anymore #i can't have ir anymore #i just want somz hapiness back #even that gets takzn away #i know im just really tired rn #but no i juqt cant holt the thoughts anymore back #actually autistic #autistic #asd #actually autism #autistic things #if somzone can tell me how i can live again #how i can enjoy life again pls do #i wnat to go back skiing

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bandgie · 24 days

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Free Use - Hyung Line

warnings: MDNI 18+, fem!reader, !!free-use is legal and public!!, public sex (duhhh), dry humping, gangbangs (implied), pussy easting, sex photography, reader is called slut

notes: longer version of this ask! to be clear, this is a free-use society so if you're not comfortable with that, don't read it pls! thanks :)

BANGCHAN! - even if it's completely legal to fuck you in public, chan can't bring himself to. your moans, whimpers, cries... those are for his ears (and maybe a few close friends) but that doesn't mean he won't do a few things - main one is arguably dry humping. standing behind you while waiting in a line for some boba and his hands settle on your hips. it's cute at first, but his grip tightens. you'll arch your back further into him because you know what he wants, you can feel it. - he grinds his hips softly on your ass. guiding his cock over your body before sliding it out to put it between your thighs. He breathlessly moans in your ear, one hand moving to grope your chest over your shirt. if he gets really into it, chan will push your head down once you make it to the counter and rut into you like he's actually fucking you and still order. - another that's more intense is when he's working in the studio. he's got you pretty and nice on his lap. Changbin and Han are so used to you riding his thigh that they hardly notice your moans anymore. - no shorts, no underwear. just your bare pussy on his leg while you hump him desperately. in a way, this is more degrading since people will come in and out of the studio, asking for adjustments and adding things to the schedule acting like they can't see you rocking your hips on his flexed thigh. but it still doesn't stop you from quietly pleading for his friends to have a turn too.

"I dunno, babe. I've got a lot of work. Why don't you keep doing this and if you're a good girl, I'll think about it."

MINHO! - total opposite of chan, he is 100% fucking you in public. everyone needs to see how much a slut you are, how much you love being fucked no matter the time of day. just cuz he's a little shit, minho will purposely fuck you in places you're supposed to be quiet. on a bus, a train, the library, the possibilities are endless - the bus though? his favorite. there's so many eyes silently watching him bounce you on his lap. all his has to do is tap his thigh and you know to lift your skirt up and sink onto his cock. no underwear on because why would you? - he wants you to be loud, he wants the people around you to join in. to twist your nipples and shove fingers in your mouth. some people will look at you with disgust wondering why mandated free use is even legal. most will be jealous though, asking minho if you're up for grabs or if you're personal use - and when it's finally your stop, he'll slide out of you and feel the way your pussy clings onto him. a few people might follow you guys until he stops at an alleyway (he has some decency) and bends you over the air.

"You can use any hole you want, but her pussy's mine."

CHANGBIN! - you're public free-use when he first meets you. there's just something about your moans, the way you move your hips, the aroused look in your eye. changbin doesn't usually engage with mandated free-use sluts but you catch his eye right at the start - he'll frequent at the place you do service at and watch most of the time. jerking himself off at the same pace you're bouncing on a cock. but he'll work up the courage and finally take you like he's been wanting to, flipping you around to get a up close view of your face - gosh, you're perfect. fucked out expression, swollen lips, cum dripping down your pretty body. how has no one made you a personal slut yet? changbin taps his fat tip on your clit, watching your body vibrate in overstimulated pleasure - he takes a long time, the people behind him growing impatient, but he doesn't care. you deserve to be praised, to be cherished. your walls are so soft and warm when he slides in, most likely from the previous people fucking you endlessly, but changbin hardly minds the fact. he presses his cock deep in you, feeling your pussy spasm and clench. and when he slides out? he gets to see all of your cream coating his length.

"So pretty. Pretty, pretty girl. You're not personal yet, right? Binnie will take care of you. Binnie can make you feel like this everyday."

HYUNJIN! - even though you're the one who's free-use, hyunjin acts like he is. he always worships you, in or out of the bedroom. he'll bring you to his photoshoots and surprises you with being photographed! the makeup artists and hair dresses doll you up so nice and pretty. you look beautiful, how can Hyunjin stay away? - with the cameras shuttering, he'll get on his knees and hook one of your legs over his shoulder. peeling the dress up to expose your sweet cunt. the makeup artists will scowl since the'll have to redo it and the hairdressers groan when you thread your fingers through his carefully styled hair, but he doesn't care - the photographers will make the best of what they can. there's no use in trying to pry Hyunjin away from you. your pussy tastes too sweet, too inviting on his tongue. so you'll be able to hear the rapid clicks of cameras and see the flashes of light while orgasming in his mouth - it's definitely a little strange to see yourself on the front cover of a magazine with hyunjin between your legs, but it's even stranger that it looks good!

"You look like an angel. You're shy? Don't be shy! You're beautiful, everyone needs to see that."

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witchwhaat · 1 year

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questioning my choices💀

#i know it's finals time making me feel this way but also. but also. what if maybe i just. took the wrong decision #like #i don't care enough to be interested in something i have to study and i also don't care enough to go into panic studying mode #and uuuh idk what to do about it anymore. idk!! i just don't fucking know #wish me luck on my exam tmrw pls i have a bad feeling about it #the thing is i feel a bit like maybe im subconsciously sabotaging myself here......#bc i'm not sure what im doing there and how did i even end up here #and like some classes are nice and interesting but most of the time i just feel nothing #and i'm not sure if i'll get anything from that degree like what will i even accomplish with it WHAT #and people there are not helping at all and i know i shouldn't care but i've been feeling so insecure about #socialising aspect of things lately that i can't help it #okay i should go to sleep actually #ummm pls ignore this rant maybe for the sake of my dignity #we're at a point where idc if i sound pathetic tho lol #neg #negativity #agnes talking

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