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saetoru · 9 months

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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。what if you’re someone i just want around (i’m falling again)

synopsis. somewhere along the line, you started to hate suguru—that doesn’t mean you stopped loving him too

— word count. 9.5k (i am in misery)

— contents. post canon! au — fix it! (we all need a good fix it fic with suguru don't lie), this fic was started before recent manga chapters so the higher ups are still alive—just go with it ok :,), geto survives + lives free of kenjaku, exes to lovers, kind of redemption i suppose, mentions of blood, injuries, and weight loss (geto), mentions of canon character deaths (nanako, mimiko, nanami), mentions of wanting to raise children with geto and have a family, no gendered terms but reader has a personality and actual thoughts and feelings, references to the hunger games (you have movie night lol), BFF satoru (he is babie), there is a kiss y’all !! (scandalous i know :O)

— notes. i started this fic back in march and i had trouble with it and put it on pause for a while. i’m very glad i finished it in the end. i always like fix it! fics and this is self-indulgent and idk if ppl will read it bc it’s sfw but it’s ok if they don’t, i loved writing it. thank you koi for beta-reading this whole bad boy. mwah <333

the day suguru is declared a free man is actually the day he signs away his freedom for good.

you say nothing, but you know it’s the truth. satoru fights tooth and nail to plead suguru’s case—you think it’s perhaps a little too desperate for it to be in the best interest of suguru and not himself. but satoru has suffered enough, and admittedly—although you deny it—a small part of you does not want to lose suguru twice. you watch as satoru argues that suguru has already died once—surely he can’t die again? and losing control of his body and mind is paying for his crimes enough, is it not? he argues that there are no ideals left for a man like geto suguru to chase after losing himself to every principle he had left.

and then satoru wins.

you expect it, but it doesn’t make it any easier. you watch numbly as suguru is assigned under your watch. you should be happy. you love suguru—you never stopped. but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a free man, and now he drags your freedom with his. you’ll never break away from him, never cut through the ropes that tie your hands behind your back and bind you to him—and then you wonder for a moment, unsure if it’s selfish or selfless or some cruel in-between to think this way, if geto suguru was better off dead.

whether that’s for your sake, or his, you’re not sure.

and yes, he’s let off alive, and sure, there’s no real punishment for all he’s done, but you know deep down he’s as chained and shackled as he’s ever been. he’s not allowed to leave the house unless you or satoru are there to chaperone, and it’s never to be anywhere near non-sorcerers. he’s not to live in a place of his own until the higher up’s deem him trustworthy. he has to ask you to buy the things he wants from the grocery store. he can’t even step outside for a smoke unless you’re aware.

for a long time, he doesn’t speak much—can hardly muster a barely audible mornin’ back when you force a smile and greet him cheerily for breakfast. slowly, it turns into half-snarky conversations that get cut short by one of you leaving the room. finally, you’re civil—maybe even friendly. you’re not so sure where you stand with him as of now.

it’s not the same suguru you remember falling in love with, it’s not even close to the version of the man you fell for all those years ago. it’s hard having him here—some days you’re angry and want to throw him out, to scream at him for haunting you again just when you think you’ve moved on from the horrors of your past. some days you want to cry and cling to him, bury your face into his neck and thank him for being here again, for finding his way back to you. and some days you wish you never met him at all, that this would all be easier if it didn’t exist in the first place.

he’s not the same geto suguru you loved, but somehow, because life is as bitter as it is ruthless, you fall in love with this version just as hard no matter how much you deny it.

“i made your favorite,” you smile gently, placing a neat plate of french toast with freshly cut strawberries on the side. you even take great care to get the syrup-to-powdered sugar ratio he likes right, but he doesn’t make a move to reach for the plate. instead, suguru sits at the table stiffly, like he has to be here or there are consequences for that too. it almost makes you sad—even here, he’s not free.

“thanks,” he says quietly, “but i’m not hungry.”

“you said that last night, suguru,” you sigh, “and at lunch. and at breakfast. and at dinner the night before—”

“i’ll eat it later,” he cuts you off, playing with the ends of his hair.

it’s a lot shorter now. it’s you who finds his body battered and bruised after the smoke clears. he’s almost unrecognizable, not the same charming and perfect suguru you’re used to seeing. not the same silkened strands and smooth skin, not the same muscled and toned body, not the same chiseled jaw and soft cheeks. instead, he’s a shell of himself. his hair is matted in knots, his body is almost frail, and you notice the sunken hollows of his cheeks and dark undereyes as you lift him from the rubble a little too easily. but his body is his own—that much you can tell from the way the stitches have disappeared.

it takes shoko a long time to nurse him back to health—it takes even longer for him to open his eyes.

you waited day and night by his side, hand over his as he breathed slowly, unconscious and unsuspecting. it would be so easy, you think one night, it would be so easy to kill him and forget and move on.

you’ve already grieved him once before. you’ve felt and conquered the pain of loving geto suguru and losing him first to himself and then to death. but love is as selfish as it is selfless, and it’s under your mercy that you let him live—yet it’s under your cowardice that you keep him close.

“you have to gain back the weight you lost, suguru,” you sigh, “you’re w—”

“weak?” he finishes for you, eyeing you for a second and then grinning. it’s unsettling, a grin that makes your skin crawl and your heart stop for a moment before he’s reaching for the fork and stabbing into his toast. “is that what you wanted to say? that i’m weak?”

“suguru, you know that’s not how i meant—”

“you’re not wrong,” he hums, chewing on the first bite as he speaks, “i suppose i am pretty weak right now, huh? couldn’t even kill you in your sleep if i tried could i?”

your throat is dry as you shrug, “i suppose not,” you whisper.

“ah,” he grins again, “but that doesn’t stop you from locking your door every night, does it?”

suguru is still healing. his body is weak, and sometimes, he leans against the wall as he walks. his arm is healed—you’re not entirely sure how, but you catch him rolling the shoulder out every now and then like it’s sore and stiff. he’s lost a lot of weight—part of it is from being bedridden for as long as he was, injured and half alive, and part of it is from barely eating—save for the few bites you force into him. you never thought there’d be a day when you could say this—but the odds of you beating suguru in hand-to-hand combat are high, and the reality is an everlasting reminder that he is not who you fell for.

you swallow, letting out a shaky breath as he watches you closely, diligently cutting another bite from the french toast sitting on his plate as he stares you down like he can see past your soul. you don’t know what’s scarier—that suguru can still practically see yours, or that you’re unsure he even has one anymore.

“you tried coming in?” you ask, unsure what else to say. he merely shrugs, takes another bite, and sets his fork down.

“thought i’d check on you,” he pops a strawberry half into his mouth as he speaks.

“is that what it really was?” you raise a brow, “or was i right to lock the door?”

you’re not sure why you lock the door at night. maybe it’s because you don’t trust him, or maybe it’s because you don’t want him near you just yet. you’re not sure. you’re not sure how satoru can go back to his cheery self, how he can step through your door and boom a loud yo, suguru! before settling beside suguru on the couch with his feet on the coffee table as he rambles away. maybe it’s not real—maybe it’s satoru desperately pretending that if he tries hard enough, things can go back to how they were.

but you don’t know how he still has the energy to try, and you don’t know if you have it in you to try anymore yourself.

you and suguru stare each other down like that for a bit, the tension rising with every silent second that passes. you’re sure he doesn’t want to be here as much as you don’t want him around—but you’re also sure he’s glad it’s here with you as much as you’re glad it’s with no one else.

“you tell me,” he smirks after a bit, the hint of amusement making your fists clench. how dare he have the audacity to look at you like that in your own home? like he has the upper hand over you without trying? “what do you think i was there for?”

“i think you should stay in your room, suguru,” you say carefully, “i bought a new bed just for that room.”

“how sweet of you,” he hums. he sips the tea before him—it’s cold by now, but it’s just how he likes it, rose with one sugar. “you must have been excited to have me.”

“hardly,” you mumble bitterly—you can’t help it. you want him to feel hurt, even just a little. you want him to know that just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you’ve waited all this time for him to be. liar, a part of you says, you’ve always waited for him, haven’t you? but suguru doesn’t seem phased—he doesn’t even blink.

“then tell me, why am i here?” suguru asks, his tone is as casual as ever.

i wish i knew, you want to say. i wish i knew but i don’t.

“because satoru asked you to be,” is all you can say.

he nods, pushing back his plate and standing up, offering you that same grin. “you’re right,” he hums, “that’s exactly why i’m here.”

it hits you why his smile is so unsettling once he leaves—it’s almost genuine, like he’s still loved you all this time. impossible, you tell yourself. suguru stopped loving you a long time ago. and you need to stop trying to figure out why.

————————————————

even despite telling yourself you don’t care what suguru thinks, a small part of you needs to prove to him you’re not scared of him. that you don’t fear for your own safety in your home, and that him being here is not some form of him haunting you. you don’t care. he shouldn’t get the luxury of thinking you care. he can come in and watch you sleep like the creep he is if he wants—you couldn’t bother to give it a second thought.

the first night you take a chance and leave the door unlocked, suguru slips into bed beside you. it wakes you up instantly, and before you can question it, his head tucks into your neck, and his hand grasps your shirt tightly. you notice the panting almost instantly—and then you realize, it must be a nightmare.

you fall into old habits, even after all these years, defaulting to care for him like it’s second nature.

“you’re safe, suguru,” is what you settle for saying after a moment of contemplation. it’s all you can really think to say, so you brush your lips over the top of his head as you murmur, “you’re safe,” over and over again.

as difficult as it is to have suguru around, as painful and cruel and aggravating as it is to be reminded of his distant existence even as he’s two doors down, this part feels natural. it’s almost like you’re back in jujutsu high, waking up to him sneaking into your room as he presses his weight over your body and wakes you with soft kisses along your face.

except this time, he’s not annoyingly demanding cuddles or telling you about his weird dream, he’s not stealing your blanket and demanding you play with his hair. this time, it’s not the same suguru—and this time, it’s not jujutsu high.

it’s your room. the one you got on the other side of town to leave the sorcery world behind, somehow still stuck right in the center of it no matter where you go. and yet, just like all those years ago, your legs tangle, and your arms wrap him up, and you murmur, “you’re safe,” while he catches his breath.

“but they’re not,” he mutters in between labored pants, making you pause.

and then you remember.

faintly, you recall the blonde and black hair from a distance, you remember bitterly wondering what’d it be like watching suguru fathering children of your own as you came to the reality that it would never happen. sometimes, you wonder if you hate nanako and mimiko for existing, for living as the dreams you never got to live through with suguru.

it’s selfish—to hate two children because they are what you do not have.

but then you feel something wet hit your neck, and then you wish they were okay—for his sake. and just for a moment, you’re selfless again.

“they’re not safe,” he mutters, making you sigh.

“they are,” you whisper, hesitating for a moment before letting your fingers slip into his hair. you scratch gently at his scalp, feeling his body melt into yours almost instantly—like it’s a response that’s natural to him. “they’re not suffering. not anymore.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” he scoffs. you shrug, letting your cheek press against the top of his head as you sigh.

“it helps me feel better,” you say softly, “‘s just how you learn to cope.”

it’s an understanding you both silently come to. loss on both sides. bloodshed on either ground. defeat no matter which ideal you take. to love is to bear the pain of mortality—it’s a lesson that you never cease to learn until the ends of time itself.

“the jujutsu world is one of suffering,” he grits, sniffling into your neck. you hum, pressing a kiss to his head as your eyes close.

“every world is one of suffering, suguru, you can’t erase them all. the sooner you realize that, the easier you’ll find peace.”

you fall into a slumber after that, faintly aware of the way he shuffles closer to you, faintly aware of the soft kiss pressed to your skin as sleep takes over your body and drifts you out of consciousness.

when you wake up the next morning, suguru is gone, and the door is closed. the blanket is tucked up to your chin, and your neck still tingles from last night.

————————————————

“get up,” you throw a pillow at suguru, waking him up with a start as he sits up. his hair is tousled and messy from sleep—it’s now long enough that he can put it in a bun without strands slipping from the bottom anymore. you chuckle as he glares at you, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he groans.

“the fuck was that for?” he grunts, holding the blanket up to cover his exposed chest.

it’s funny that he does that, in a way. it’s not as though you haven’t seen his chest…and then some too. it’s not like you haven’t torn his shirt off to stanch the flow of blood from his injuries before or feel the bare skin with your palm under the pale moonlight as the lingering scent of sex breezes through the room.

but somehow, even though he doesn’t need to cover his chest around you of all people, you’re glad that he does. truthfully, it keeps you slightly comforted to know that he’s aware you’re still technically strangers—no matter how well-versed you are in each other’s pasts. but you don’t ponder on it too much. instead, you grin, shoving aside the visual of the small glance you caught at his pecs, and you clap your hands to motion him to hurry.

“we are going grocery shopping,” you say casually—as though it’s not something to make him raise a brow in shock.

“me?” he points a finger at himself. you roll your eyes, and he challenges you with another raise of his brow. “aren’t i supposed to stay away from civilians?”

“yes, you,” you nod, pointing back at him, “and satoru has worked overtime to get you granted permission to roam around with me. he says you’re welcome, by the way.”

“tell him to go fuck off.”

“that’s ungrateful,” you say flatly, “his feelings will be hurt.”

“his feelings will find a way to cope,” suguru huffs. “i don’t want to be around…them,” he says bitterly.

you suppose it’s wishful thinking to hope suguru has let go of his past beliefs. perhaps he’s long abandoned the possibility of the vision he once planned on bringing to life, but you can’t say you expected him to revert back to the old suguru who fought alongside you and satoru. you yourself certainly have no intention of returning to the sorcery world after all the events, so you can’t say you’re shocked by the lack of change he seems to show. but then again, you suppose suguru has changed. whether he sees it or not.

he stays here and doesn’t put up a fight to leave even though he can now that he’s healed. he eats lunch when you tell him and even washes the dishes. sometimes, when you come home a bit late, dinner is even ready on the table as he sits and stares at you expectantly. his plate is empty like yours—like he’s been waiting for you even though he doesn’t need to. you suppose you can see he’s changed in the way he doesn’t scoff at the tv channels you surf through, he silently sits on the opposite end of the couch now and watches with you, and perhaps if you’re lucky, you’ll hear a light chuckle or a quiet sigh as the scenes roll on the screen.

you suppose this suguru is a step closer to your suguru every day he spends with you, but you don’t know if any suguru is what you need right now. perhaps that name should’ve been buried away as a distant memory, perhaps it should’ve only been something you unlock once every year on his death anniversary—when satoru clambers through your door drunk and unsteady as he clutches the hand that killed his best friend, only to share pancakes with you in the morning and pretend like you don’t notice the dried tears on his cheeks while he acts like he doesn’t catch the way your hand shakes as you cut into your breakfast.

but suguru is here now. whether it’s as geto, one half of the strongest duo in jujutsu high, whether it’s as suguru, the love of your life and the sole reason you exist, or whether it’s as geto suguru, the curse user and mass murderer who haunts your past, present, and everything in between.

so you simply sigh, grab the pillow again, and hit the top of his head before walking over to the door as you call over your shoulder, “i’m gonna wait for you by the door in fifteen minutes. be ready or face the consequences..”

“no thanks. don’t wanna,” suguru grumbles petulantly, frowning at you as you stick your tongue at him, smirking as if you’ve just played your ace.

“too bad,” you sing before swinging the door shut.

he’s at the door in exactly fifteen minutes, like he waited until the last possible second to join you as a move of spite. but you simply gesture him out the door and lock up, taking your sweet time as he stands there with an annoyed face. you stare at the doorknob once you’re done, taking a deep breath before turning to him with your best smile.

“let’s go,” you hum.

“after you,” he mutters.

—

he grimaces as soon as he sees the people going about their business, clearly unhappy with the idea of being around non-sorcerers, but one sharp glare from you has him sighing and trekking along. the grocery store, admittedly, is not as bad as suguru thinks—in fact, there are lots of things he doesn’t realize he misses until he watches you grab a shopping cart.

suddenly, he sees shadows. the silhouette of your figure climbing into the cart, the angry wave of satoru’s hands as he claims it's his turn to be pushed around, the figure of shoko pinching the bridge of her nose in irritation from the back—and then, he sees the dark shadow of baggy pants and a small bun. it’s him. suguru watches himself almost in slow motion through the remnants of his imagination as he gently shoves satoru out of the way and reaches to poke the tip of your nose before he pushes the cart with you in it.

it’s a happy memory—and it’s gone all too soon.

as soon as he blinks, the shadows have disappeared—instead, it’s you waving a hand in his face, concern written on your features as you call his name.

“suguru? hey, hello? are you with me?”

he exhales, pulled from his trance as he gently grabs your wrist from in front of his face and sets it down as he nods, “yeah, i’m fine. just thinking,” he mumbles.

for a second, you hesitate, like you almost mean to say something. but in the end, you only nod before turning to grab the shopping cart. but he stops you—grabs the handle and turns to you with a small smile on his face, making you raise a brow as he gently moves you away.

“what are you—”

“get in,” he grins, making you stare at him in bewilderment.

“what?”

“just get in,” he sighs, “you love it when you get to sit in the cart.”

“i’m not a teenager anymore—”

“get in, will you?” he groans, “always so damn difficult.”

“hey,” you pout, glaring at him with your hands planted at your hips, “that’s rude.” it’s cute. suguru stares at you with amusement in his eyes and a soft look on his face that you don’t think you’ve really seen in years.

“humor me,” he hums, “just get in, okay?”

so you do.

with a huff and a grumble under your breath, you fight back a smile and climb into the damn cart just like old times. you swallow and try not to let it get to you when he reaches over and pokes the tip of your nose and pushes the cart around, letting you name off the things you need from your list while he grabs them. and when he sneaks snacks into the pile, you roll your eyes and glare at him in the way you always did—the one that isn’t actually annoyed. fond. happy to let it slide because it’s him.

“we need candy,” you murmur, “that’s the last thing on the list.”

“okay. what kind?” he asks, turning the cart into the candy aisle and smiling softly down at you.

“doesn’t matter, satoru eats anything as long as it’s sweet. he’s more likely to die from sugar than fighting a curse, i think.”

“you buy candy for satoru?” he asks, making you shrug as you reach over and grab a few bags of candy off the shelves, setting them down beside you.

“he comes over a lot so i learned to keep stuff stocked up for him. you know how he gets when he’s hungry.”

suguru feels something he hasn’t felt since he was a teenager. jealousy—specifically of satoru.

suguru is not foolish. he knows as soon as he meets gojo satoru that of the two, one of them is stronger and it’s definitely not himself. for the longest time, he’s okay with that, okay being the strongest only when alongside satoru—until he’s not. and even if suguru always had a bit more attention in the romance department than satoru, in his head he’s always known that perhaps satoru can keep you safer, more well off, maybe even happier. with smooth smiles and eyes as welcoming as an oasis, gojo satoru would never leave you in the dark pit of misery as suguru once had.

something about the thought of you and satoru keeping each other company through the lonely years, filling that empty spot suguru left behind, sharing moments over candy and empty wrappers makes suguru wonder for a moment if perhaps he’d be happier if he stayed. maybe he could have worn a heartfelt smile in a world that carves them off the faces of sorcerers with bloody knives as long as you were there to wipe the blood.

but before he can dwell on it, you snatch one more bag—this time of his favorite candy, placing it into the cart and grinning gently up at him.

“i haven’t bought this one in years,” you admit, “i almost forget how it tastes.”

“me too,” he says quietly.

“well,” you hum, “we’ll have to have some when we’re home.”

home. you say it as though it belongs to him as much as it does you, and then like you always have, without even meaning to, you wash away the dark stains of his jealousy with no trace left behind.

“yeah,” he chuckles, “we—”

“daddy, look! candy!” suguru is cut off by the gentle pitter-patter of two tiny feet running into the aisle, pointing at a bag of candy as a man follows close behind.

his breath hitches.

she’s small, the girl—she has two pigtails with soft strands of blonde hair falling out of the loosely tied bands. it reminds suguru of the first time he perfected tying up nanako’s hair, the soft giggles behind her tiny hand as she twirled in the mirror.

there’s another girl in the man’s arms—dark hair on her head as she curls into her father’s chest and tucks her head into his neck when she sees you and suguru in the aisle. she’s shy, he realizes, like mimiko, and suddenly he remembers the tiny fingers that used to hook into his pants when she got too overwhelmed by the people around her, waiting for suguru to scoop her into his arms.

perhaps in another life, suguru would redo everything differently—he’d be happy with you and satoru and shoko, and nanami and haibara would be there too, well and alive. but no matter what, he’d never redo nanako and mimiko differently. he’d never change a thing about them, not even the way nanako whines too much about small things or the way mimiko never speaks up even when something is clearly bothering her. he’d never change the way he saved them and took them in at the tender age of eighteen, too lost to be a father but choosing to raise them anyway. he’d never change the feeling of pure joy and unbridled pride when they climbed into his bed for the first time, shushing each other so as not to wake him—even though he’d awoken as soon as the door to his room opened.

because he realized that night that yeah, maybe he’d made mistakes in his lifetime, lots of them too. maybe he’d made a bad choice choosing the path he did, or maybe he didn’t. he’s never been completely sure—just that he had to try at least to make his vision for a different world come to life. but one mistake he never made was his girls. one thing he was always sure about was the soft clutch at his pants and the tiny hands reaching for his own.

suguru wouldn’t change anything about nanako and mimiko—except maybe the fact that they aren’t here, gone because of him.

“suguru?” you ask softly, reaching for his hand as he grips the cart tightly and pulling his gaze away from the family in the distance.

he blinks, meets your eyes, and knows that you know. with one glance at your face, he knows you understand. the world is cruel, one filled with suffering, he thinks. but then he remembers what you said, that every world is full of suffering, not just his—that it’s a truth he has to come face to face with.

but it’s hard. it’s hard when this man has his two little girls and suguru does not—it’s hard to watch someone have what he wants with no worries of losing it, all because of people and their own weaknesses. he thinks for a moment that he’s been right all along—that non-sorcerers are too weak for this life, that the jujutsu world has always suffered so they don’t have to.

but then the man speaks up, catching both of your attention.

“your mother used to love those,” he says quietly to his daughter, a pained smile on his face. instantly, you and suguru both seem to understand the weight of that single sentence.

every world has its own pain, suguru realizes. its own cruelties and unfairness, its own way of bringing suffering in its wake as it rips away the things closest to you from your begging fingertips, leaving them cold and empty and numb from the lost weight underneath them.

“let’s go, suguru,” you whisper, “we have everything we came for.”

“yeah,” he whispers back, clearing his throat so his voice doesn’t crack, “let’s go.”

suguru leaves the grocery store with you after you pay, and for a brief moment, he’s unsure. unsure whether he’s grateful to satoru for fighting for him to be able to come and grateful to you for dragging him along, or if he wishes he died along with the rubble, gone before you could find him and turn him into this.

“before you even think about hiding away in your room,” you say, grabbing the bags from the cart as you put it back where it belongs, “you have to help with putting away the groceries.”

“sure,” he says smoothly. he grabs all the heavy bags from your hand, and you make a move to protest that you don’t need him to take the heavier ones, that you’re fine and can handle them like you’ve always handled them.

but he walks off, and finally, you decide to simply follow.

—————————��——————

satoru likes to come and visit—you’ve started a routine movie night every week (unless he’s away, of course.) it’s fun, but it also means he makes your veins pop because he’s a headache like that—always makes himself right at home and eats your snacks like this is his place and not yours. he helps himself to your already limited candy and puts his sock-clad feet up on the coffee table no matter how many times you tell him not to.

you try sitting with legs as long as these, he always whines, earning a harsh glare from you as you smack at his shins until he ultimately caves and begrudgingly sets his feet down.

but then they always make their way back up to the coffee table, and you’re too busy enjoying his company to care—although you’ll never admit it.

satoru is endearing like that, swallowing the dark clouds from your shoulders whole and eating up your burdens with that side of responsibility that you don’t think you could ever stomach. satoru is just like that, you realize, taking the brunt of the weight and laughing off every concern until you can’t help but not take them seriously yourself.

it’s hard to remember that sometimes you didn’t just lose suguru, the love of your life, that night. everyone lost something. shoko lost someone to smoke with, yaga lost a student to scold, nanami lost a headache to avoid, and satoru?

well…satoru lost what you think might’ve been the only filled void of his miserably empty life.

it’s hard to remember that satoru lost his best friend—the only best friend he’s ever had (although you like to think of yourself as a close contender)—because he’s so good at letting you forget. he brings you ice cream (that he eats half of because it’s only fair he gets a share), and he sits and hogs your couch (that he argues you don’t really need as much space as him on because your legs aren’t as long), and he watches those stupid sitcoms that are dry with boring jokes (that you used to make suguru watch back in the day).

it’s hard to remember that satoru also lost as much as you because he’s so damn good at making you forget about your own loss, you don’t care to think about anyone else’s for a while. just a short while. just until he’s yawning that obnoxiously loud yawn and stretching those awkwardly long limbs of his before he claims he really should go and that being the world’s best teacher requires as many hours of beauty sleep as you can squeeze in.

and then he’s off. and it’s empty again. and just like that, you’re reminded of why he was there in the first place—to fill in that sick and painful void that geto suguru left in you.

it’s gaping, like he tore a chunk of you right out with sharp teeth, like you’re just a piece of meat for him to get his fill of. if suguru really loved you, would you be so easy to let go of? why couldn’t he smile? because you could—god, you could smile just from the sight of him alone, you realize a long time ago. him with his cigarette tucked between his lips, those death sticks as you called them, hung loosely from his mouth as he gives you a lopsided grin.

geto suguru is enough of a reason to smile. the world could crumble at your feet and leave you with nothing but rubble and dirt, and still, suguru is the core of the earth you’re searching for.

so why couldn’t you be the same? what is it you were missing? what about you was just not enough for him like the way he was enough for you?

it dawns on you one night, through bitter tears and shaky sobs, and that sick, twisted, pleading feeling in your gut that begs the wind to carry him back to you—geto suguru has never loved you the way you loved him.

and for that, you can never forgive him, you don’t think.

“you tryin’ to go bug-eyed?” he asks, settling down on the couch next to you, making you snap out of your trance. you shake your head a little, stare back at him for a moment before putting on that look on your face where you roll your eyes and pretend everything is fine.

“no,” you huff, “i’m just thinking.”

“about…?”

“satoru has rarely ever missed a movie night.”

“maybe he’s sick of you,” he shrugs, grinning slyly at you as you narrow your eyes with a glare, “there’s someone here to keep you company now so he’s probably taken his opportunity to run.”

“you’re hardly company,” you scoff, “freeloader.”

“hey,” he defends, shrugging as if it’s not his fault. you suppose it’s not. “i didn’t ask to be rescued. you can’t be high and mighty and petty. ‘s not how that works.”

“says who? you don’t make the rules. i can be graciously kind and a jerk all at once.”

“complexity,” he nods, “i like it.”

“i’m not as complicated as you might think,” you grumble, crossing your arms as you stare at the time. yeah, satoru isn’t making it—which, he told you as much, but he’s strolled in at the last second too many times to count before. you figure today would be the same. “as long as you don’t skip movie nights with me, i’m pretty simple to keep appeased.”

“alright,” he props his feet up on the coffee table—seriously, what is it with asshole men putting their feet on your table? satoru is a terrible influence. “let’s have a movie night.”

“what?” you blink.

“movie night,” he repeats, “you said you don’t like skipping movie night—”

“well, i meant i don’t like satoru skipping movie—”

“well, it was me before satoru, wasn’t it?” he says with a smile. his eyes are closed, crinkled at the corners, but his voice is carefully neutral—like he takes extra care not to let you see any emotion behind it.

but that only means there is an emotion, isn’t there? is he jealous? does he hate the fact that you and satoru have a routine of your own without him? that you don’t need him to continue living your life?

good. he should be. he walked out on you all those years ago. he killed a village. killed his parents. you never even got to meet them—he never even got to take you home and introduce you to them before he ripped away every fantasy you ever had with him.

and now he’s back—he has the audacity to live, to laugh in your face with his existence that yes, geto suguru is here. and he was supposed to be executed, but your stubborn friend didn’t let that happen. he was supposed to be your husband by now with kids and a happy little home, and you were supposed to be his parent’s new addition to their family that they loved so much. but none of that is even close to happening, and it’s suguru’s fault, and the least he can do is show you some regret and maybe feel just the slightest bit bad that you now have to watch shitty movies with his best friend instead of him to feel normal.

ex-best friend? half best friend? you don’t even know—do they still consider each other their best friends? does anyone consider suguru anything? you don’t know what you consider him. but you think the least he can do is act just the slightest bit pathetic after making you feel so pathetic for so long just to even the score.

he should be a stranger. he feels like an old friend. but either is dangerous.

“alright,” you sigh, “let's bring back movie night. don’t fall asleep.”

“i get plenty of sleep nowadays,” he hums, “i have more than enough free time for that now.”

“how lucky of you,” you snort.

—

picking a movie with suguru is difficult. he actually has standards—satoru watches anything so long as he gets snacks, and he can make anything fun to watch with the way he comments from the side like a critic. suguru, on the other hand, actually cares about the quality of a movie, the metrics that make it good.

so you pick the hunger games just to piss him off.

“seriously?” he raises a brow, “this is your pick?”

“yes,” you grin, “i like these movies.”

“of all movies—”

“my house, my rules,” you grin cheekily, “you can pick the movies as soon as you start paying the bills.”

“wow,” he deadpans, “stooping to use my financial status against me? i thought you were better than this.”

“oh suguru,” you sigh dramatically, grabbing a bag of chips from the table, “you don’t know me at all.”

all things considered, you think it’s a rather enjoyable experience. it’s not as fun without satoru’s stupid comments that you pretend to hate, but suguru provides his own commentary that earns a giggle out of you here and there too—although his are not meant to be funny. but that’s the appeal of it, you think.

“she should have picked gale,” he mumbles. you raise a brow.

“peeta was always there for her, did you miss the rain scene?”

“so was gale,” he says smoothly, grabbing a chip from your bag and making you scowl.

“gale killed her sister,” you point out, “and a lot of other people too. he was ruthless. she needed peeta.”

“gale did what he had to do,” suguru mumbles.

suddenly, it doesn’t really feel like you’re discussing the movie anymore. it feels more than that. it feels sickening—the air is heavy, and your throat is dry and god, you just wanted a movie night and not this heaviness as you talk about stuff from the past without actually talking about it.

you blink before turning to your chips, playing around with the bag as you shrug.

“in the end he didn’t get katniss, did he?”

suguru studies you for a moment, stares a little too deep into you that you start to feel the urge to bolt to your room and go to bed.

“guess not,” he says quietly, “guess that’s the one regret he has, huh?”

you think for a second, as suguru stares at your eyes with something you can’t quite read, that you might cry. you might cry and throw that half-empty can of soda in his face for speaking in codes and making you question what he means and remember your past. you might cry because suguru could’ve always gotten you—in fact, he had you.

it’s not fair. nothing is, but you can’t help but dwell on it.

“i’m going to bed. it’s late,” you mumble after a few moments, standing. he only nods, staring at the tv as the credits roll. when you make it to your room and the door shuts behind you, you debate clicking the lock in place.

in the end, you don’t lock the door. suguru climbs into bed with you once more later that night, shaking slightly from his nightmare but calmer than usual. he’s still gone by the time morning comes, and you still never mention it.

it hits you one night that maybe he still has you—maybe you never let him stop having you, no matter what you say.

————————————————

suguru is good at cleaning while you’re away. you have to go out and do adult things like breadwinning and grocery shopping and bill paying. he dusts and cleans and even takes out the trash when you’re home to monitor him as he steps two feet out of your front door. sometimes, because you like to get on his nerves, you accidentally mess up a corner of the house just as he cleans it, laughing as he shoots you an unimpressed look.

“stop getting crumbs on the floor,” he mumbles, “i just vacuumed.”

“you make a good malewife,” you giggle, “vacuuming and everything. how cute.”

“don’t call me that,” he grumbles, sitting down on the couch.

“but you missed a spot,” you point to the crumbs you’ve sprinkled from your fingers as you snack away, making him glare. “failwife.”

“i’m going to divorce you and take everything,” he snaps, making you snort as you put your hands up in surrender.

“you don’t have to, you know,” you murmur, “clean, i mean. i can handle it.”

“i think i should carry my weight around here,” he shrugs, “since you are basically sugar babying me around for now.”

“dangerous curse user to the world, but sugar baby to me,” you tease, pulling a chuckle out of him as he rolls his eyes.

sometimes it’s nice to have his company. suguru is good with banter like that, he’s not annoying like satoru where you run in circles. suguru makes you laugh from your belly, makes the hiccups catch in your throat as you double over. he’s always been like that, always known how to make laughter pour from your lips and trickle down your chin. it’s comforting to know he still knows how. it leaves a small amount of bitterness that he’s still able to make you feel like this.

“by the way, next time you go shopping, take me with you,” he says casually, “i need to buy stuff for my hair. it’s growing.”

“you’ll finally see the sun just for your hair?” you gasp, “who knew that’s all it’d take?”

despite the playfulness in your words, there’s still shock. suguru is willingly stepping foot outside your house. he’s finally choosing to return to life after living like a recluse no matter how many times you and satoru have tried to beg him to get up and go somewhere. the most you can get out of him is a walk around the neighborhood before he goes back to wandering your home and hiding away in his room.

suguru is returning to life, his life, and you can’t help but wonder where that leaves room for you.

“my hair is my charm,” he reasons, “wouldn’t you agree?”

there’s a smirk on his lips when he asks—it’s like he’s seventeen and teasing you again, giving you that unfairly flirty smile that used to make you stutter as a kid. back when you were hopelessly in love. back when it was you, suguru, and the world in your corner. back when you had dreams of your future, practically giggling as you planned it away in a notebook.

suguru was always perfect like that, the kind of guy you could only dream about. he’s always been handsome—he’s always been the center of attention everywhere you went. you used to huff about it, about all the attention he managed to get from walking into a room alone. but then he’d smile, give you that tender look of his as he’d chuckle, and you’d be hopeless again.

he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore after over a decade. but he does. it’s cruel, the way the universe works. it’s like there’s a magnet that pushes you together no matter how far you try to go, still pulled by gravity straight into his awaiting eyes and devilish smile.

“i cut your hair off once, i can do it again,” you huff. he laughs, it’s good-natured and kind.

“i was a bit heartbroken when i realized it was so short, i have to admit,” he says, “i didn’t look like me.”

“you looked good,” you say quietly, “i think you’d make anything work, to be honest.”

“yeah?” he grins, “any requests? i might consider it if it’s you.”

“oh shut up,” you roll your eyes, “how about shaving your head bald? let's see how much charm you have without all that hair.”

“i could charm you without the hair still, couldn’t i?” he winks.

it’s unfair how he acts like normal. like a few months in your home undoes everything he’s ever committed, all the atrocities he’s caused. the way he flirts with you feels like you’re his again. the way he’s aged and changed feels like you’re meeting someone new. you don’t understand how suguru is so natural with that—with seamlessly falling back into a rhythm with you like nothing has changed at all.

deep down, you know that suguru is just moving on with his life. he’s making the most of what he can. he can’t die, satoru would never let him have a peaceful death after all this. he can’t go back to the way things used to be, whether that’s his sorcery days or his curse user days, and he certainly can’t start over. so he’s making do with what he has—which is very little in reality.

it’s you, your home, and the biweekly visits from satoru and occasionally shoko. so he weaves you seamlessly into his life and treats you with a sense of normalcy you can’t hope to treat him with. maybe it’s because suguru was actually able to move on after he left.

it’s the part you hated him most for. for building a family with new people. for having two girls that he raised as daughters. for finding people to follow him and trust. suguru, after he walked away from everything he ever knew, actually did something with his life—even if it could hardly be considered good.

you? you fell deeper and deeper into a pit of denial until clawing your way back out was too impossible, until you had to leave behind everything you’ve ever known to get away from the remnants of his existence.

it’s easy for him to weave you back into his life because he chose to cut you loose. it feels damn near impossible to let him weave back into yours after he tore himself from the edges and frayed away.

“don’t do that,” you sigh, making him frown.

“do what?”

“you know what, suguru,” you pinch your nose in frustration, “stop acting like things are normal.”

“things are definitely not normal,” he snorts bitterly, “i think needing your approval to take the trash out is not equal to normal.”

“then why are you acting like…” you trail off, unsure.

“like what?” he raises a brow.

“like we never changed,” you slam your hands down on the couch in exasperation.

he stares at you for a minute, blinks once, then twice, and then furrows his brows.

“well, of course we changed,” he mumbles in confusion, “i know that—”

you shouldn’t have said anything. you quickly realize that. suguru is not trying to act like things are normal—he’s trying to be civil, and you’re just a fool. a fool who looks too deeply into everything and assumes what you want to out of things and god, you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of your one and only ex-boyfriend in over a decade who was once dead and somehow came back to the land of the living.

of course, he knows things are not the same. he doesn’t want what you think he does. it’s been years and suguru has moved on—he had already moved on all those years ago, and you’re the only one here that is still focused on the past. and now he knows it too.

you stand before he can finish, nodding as you stare down instead of meeting his eyes, pretending to adjust your clothes.

“right, of course you do,” you nod, “i don’t know why i said that. just ignore me, i’ll be going to my room now. i have…things to do, so i’ll be—”

“hang on,” he frowns, hand grabbing your wrist, “i don’t mean it like that,” he says gently.

fuck geto suguru for being so confusing and fuck him for being nice about it too.

“you can let go, suguru,” you pull at your wrist, “forget what i said, i wasn’t thinking—”

“i still feel the same,” he cuts you off, making your eyes widen, “if that’s what you mean. i never stopped.”

never stopped—that’s almost worse than moving on. how could he have felt the same all those years and still never come back?

“that does not help even a little,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “that makes this so much worse, do you see that?”

“i know,” he sighs, “i’m sor—”

“don’t say you’re sorry,” you grit your teeth, “we both know you’re not.”

“maybe not,” he admits, “i had to try. and that meant leaving—i’m sorry that’s not what you wanted.”

“it’s not!” you turn around, pulling your arm out of his grasp—suguru, for what it’s worth, takes the shove to his chest like a champ. “of course i didn’t want you to leave and kill a bunch of people and have an execution stamped on your forehead and live your life without me.”

“i know—”

“and now you’re back. back! in my house, eating my food and sleeping in my bed for half the night and i just have to act like this is normal. how is any of this normal?”

“it’s not,” he agrees. he’s calm. so calm, it almost makes you mad. why is he so calm? “nothing about anything in our lives is normal. it never was.”

“you ruined my life,” you blink back tears. he smiles sadly, taking a step closer.

“i guess i can take the blame for that,” he nods, hands finding their way to your hips. against your better judgment, you lean half your weight against his body. this is bad, very bad—but it’s also the best thing ever.

being close to suguru feels like the sun’s heat tearing through your skin—it’s warm. it’s pleasant. it leaves you parched and drained with a dry throat. but still, you need it to survive.

“why did you come back?” you ask tiredly. his hand finds the small of your back, rubbing slow circles.

“i don’t know,” he hums, “i didn’t really get a say. maybe i was always meant to, who knows?”

you look at him at that—tilt your head to get a good look at his features. his eyes are more tired, and his cheeks are a bit more sunken in compared to the youthful flesh you remember him with. his hair isn’t as healthy, and his forehead has the slightest traces of pale marks from the scars. but he’s still suguru—and you have always loved suguru, even if he gives you every reason to hate him.

“you make my life unreasonably difficult,” you mutter.

he hums, smiling. “can i?” he asks breathlessly, pleadingly. you stare at his eyes, he stares at your lips. you know what he wants—but fuck, you can’t let him have it so easy.

“can you what?” you ask, raising a brow slowly.

“are you really gonna make me say it?” he grunts, lips almost curled into a pout. it’s cute, the way he looks longingly at your lips—it’s so cute and beautiful and dangerous all at once, just like suguru.

“yes,” you say, “yes i am. i deserve to hear it suguru, after everything you put me through. you…you left me. i wasn’t enough for you. i mourned you. i grieved a body i never even saw. do you know what that does to a person? to lose them not once but two times? the least you could do is tell me what you want,” your voice wavers just a little.

it shakes for the lost time. for the moments you’ll never have. for the memories you lost. for the past that’s tainted. time is cruel like that. but that’s the beauty of it all—the fragility. it’s like sand falling through the cracks of your fingers, every grain slipping from your reach but still soft and soothing against your skin as it falls. everything fades over time, everything starts to hurt one way or another. but it stops. it heals. it starts over. the sand fills the cup of your palms again, warm and delicate and just as beautiful as before it crumbled.

“can i kiss you?” he asks desperately, “please?”

“kissing me is not a temporary thing,” you shake your head, “not anymore. it’s for good. only for good.”

“i want to kiss you for good,” he nods, hands digging into your hips impatiently. you’re close. you’re too far. he can feel you, smell you, hear your unsteady breaths. but it’s not enough. he needs to devour you, taste you on his tongue, and melt you with his touch. “i won’t stop this time,” he promises.

“you better not,” you sniffle, tears blurring your vision. you hated suguru for leaving you. you hated him for coming back to you like this. you never stopped loving him, never will stop loving him—and maybe that’s what love is. when the darkness is worth trekking through for the afterglow of the light. “if you fucking leave me again, you’re dead to me. i don’t care how many times you come back to life. you’re dead to me.”

“okay,” he agrees through a shaky chuckle, “i suppose i deserve that. let me kiss you, yeah?”

“yeah,” you breathe.

he kisses you—years too late, he kisses you. it feels like you’re teenagers again. it feels different and foreign. you know this feeling like the back of your hand. you don’t understand what this sensation is anymore. it’s new. it’s old. it’s perfect. it hurts. suguru is here. he promised not to leave—you don’t know if you believe him, but you’re going to trust that finally, for once, you are enough.

you’re enough to make him happy. to give him a sense of purpose. to keep him swimming when his limbs start to sink.

finally, for once, you’re enough.

“i love you,” he whispers against your mouth, breathing the words into you like he’s offering you the air from his lungs, “i never stopped. i promise.”

“you don’t deserve to hear it from me,” you murmur back, panting against his lips, “not yet.”

“fair enough,” he chuckles, “you sure know how to leave a guy waiting.”

“i learned from the best,” you shoot back.

he grins—suguru smiles, heartfelt and real. life is full of misery, it’s painful, and nothing fucking makes sense. everything is cruel. everything dies no matter how carefully you water the roots. there’s always something, someone, ready to tear it from the earth. but if you keep planting the seeds, suguru will keep watering.

maybe something kind can bloom from that, something big enough for him to hide under the shade when the scorching heat of tragedy becomes too much.

in this world or in the jujutsu world; in this life or in the next. suguru is yours.

“why am i here?” he asks gently, his face digging into your neck. you hold him, cradling the back of his head as you hum.

“because i need you here. will you stay?”

“yes,” he murmurs, “i think i’ll stay.”

hi. i have been working on this since march. its still not how i envisioned it to be originally but that's okay. i had fun writing it and it means a lot to me even tho its kind of. well....cliche LMAO like everything i write. but. i enjoy the cliches okay ?? i do. kxljchskdf hope u guys didn't hate it </3

also the fic banner is …. not the greatest. just ignore it ok

#teepods.writings #fics.#geto x reader #geto x you #geto fluff #geto angst #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #jjk angst #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru x you #geto suguru angst #geto suguru fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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vivwritesfics · 19 days

Note

oscar and i have the EXACT same birthday (down to the year lmao) and… since it’s this saturday… was WONDERING if you’d write a fic of logan getting with oscar’s twin sister lmao

- 🇺🇸 (ironic i, an american, am asking for a fic about an australian. but.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE (this turned out wayyy longer than i expected lol)

2022

y/npiastri

liked by logansargeant, and 103,283 others

y/npiastri happy birthday to my LITTLE brother

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username1 this is gold

oscarpiastri MINUTES

oscarpiastri WE WERE BORN MINUTES APART

y/npiastri I just so happened to be born first

logansargeant happy birthday to my favourite twins

y/npiastri thank you pookie oscarpiastri thank you MY BEST FRIEND LOGAN

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, and 204,458 others

oscarpiastri happy birthday stinky

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y/npiastri die

username2 lmao i love them

logansargeant we can't just have one normal birthday post, can we?

y/npiastri then we wouldn't be the pastry twins oscarpiastri *piastri twins y/npiastri guess again, genius

logansargeant

liked by y/npiastri, and 230,487 others

logansargeant happy birthday besties

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y/npiastri ty pookie

oscarpiastri this picture is awful

y/npiastri he means we love it (twin telepathy) oscarpiastri stop being nice oscarpiastri you're never nice

username3 happy birthday piastri twins

2023

y/npiastri

liked by logansargeant, and 185,832 others

y/npiastri happy birthday to Lando's teammate

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oscarpiastri you don't have my permission to post this

landonorris i knew you preferred me lol

logansargeant lmao when's the party

y/npiastri ;) oscarpiastri ...

oscarpiastri can you just call me your brother

oscarpiastri for once pls y/npiastri go away, teammate of Lando's

landonorris happy birthday to y/n's brother

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, and 267,482 others

oscarpiastri happy birthday twin

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y/npiastri this picture is amazing send it to me

logansargeant when was this?

oscarpiastri your 21st y/npiastri lmao you were there, lo

username4 omg she called him lo

username5 lol oscar would never let that happen liked by oscarpiastri

logansargeant

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logansargeant birthday people

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y/npiastri terrible picture, try again

oscarpiastri thank you for not embarrassing us this year

logansargeant saving my ammo for the big 23

username6 they're literally my favourites

alex_albon happy birthday guys

2024

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, and 345,692 others

oscarpiastri happy birthday big pastry

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y/npiastri happy birthday lil pastry

logansargeant happy birthday pastries

y/npiastri

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y/npiastri happiest birthday girl

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oscarpiastri excuse me WHAT IS THIS

oscarpiastri PICK UP THE PHONE

oscarpiastri WHO IS THIS

logansargeant happy birthday ❤

username7 odds on its logan

username8 LY/N CONFIRMED

logansargeant

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logansargeant my birthday girl

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username7 called it lol

oscarpiastri I THINK THE FUCK NOT

oscarpiastri BOTH OF YOU PICK UP THE PHONE

oscarpiastri worst birthday ever

y/npiastri get over it

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junicult · 1 year

Note

So... don't know if you have this in the works after your last post, but what would it be like with the bachelors going down on reader for the first time? If you're comfortable with it, that is. 👀

!! the bachelors going down on you for the first time

contains ; soooo much smut. i got so carried away mb y’all LOL. nsfw (minors pls dni.) fem!farmer. oral (f!receiving). praise. established & unestablished relationships. fwb!shane. sexual guiding. inexperienced!sebastian. implied height difference in alex’s.

harvey.

- haha.

- i love this man.

- he is so (i cannot stress this enough) so affectionate.

- absolutely infatuated with you and everything you do.

- as a doctor, he has a lot of people he spends time thinking about: but you are somehow always the main thing on his mind.

- like, tell this man that you did something so minor like stubbed your toe, and he’s carrying you around, forcing you bedridden so he can take care of you.

- well, maybe not to that extent but you get it. you’re the most important thing to him.

- so it’s no surprise that translates to sex as well.

- he only cares about your pleasure, and how you’re feeling.

- before you had sex, he was a nervous mess.

- he wanted it to be perfect :,)

- he didn’t wanna plan it ahead, just kinda hoped it’d all come naturally but surprise he spent the entirety of the day thinking about it.

- it was just supposed to be a fancy dinner date, yet he managed to find you underneath him in his neatly made bed, lips already swollen from his doing.

- “have i told you you’re the most gorgeous woman i’ve ever seen?” it’s corny, cheesy, but oh-so true.

- his fingertips feeling your thighs up your dress, burning into your skin.

- like i said, he’s been thinking about how this night would play out for days. he wants it to be perfect.

- what other way for it to be perfect then him going down on you?

- i’m just saying, harvey on his knees, wide, soft eyes looking up and you while his lips press against your thighs and his cheek rests against your knee.

- his fingers reaching up to slide underneath the waistband of your underwear, doing nothing but tug slightly.

- 😇

- “may i? please?” he nearly whispers.

- and the moment you nod, his lips turn into a soft smile like he’s been waiting forever for that simple gesture.

- he wants you to watch him comfortably, so he props a couple pillows against the headboard so you can look at him.

- loves when you get flustered and tries to hide your face.

- he pays so much attention to your clit. knows how stimulating it is, and especially when he sucks it just right and your hips twitch a little.

- deffffffinitely moans into your pussy 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

- & ruts against the bed lollllll

- uses his fingers too. he’s so slow, and careful, all the while his movements still make your head spin.

- “please don’t stop, ‘m so close,” you whine, eyebrows pinching, and you hardly even realize your fingers that ravel and tug on his soft brown hair.

- he’s shaking his head, as in a silent way to tell you “fuck, i’ll never stop,” as long as he can hear you moan like that longer.

- he’s SOOO EAGER.

- wraps one of his hands around yours while the other lightly presses into your stomach to keep you still.

- doesn’t even care that u nearly suffocate him when your thighs wrap around his head—if anything, he’s in heaven.

- can’t take his eyes off of u. he might just die from the sight of you alone.

- he has to catch his breath when you finally collapse, head lulling to the side.

- he’s literally so hard it hurts.

- pressing into your thigh when he comes up to kiss you make out with you.

- “y’taste so good, don’t you think? so sweet, can’t get enough.” “you’ll let me get some more, right? please? want you, need you so bad.”

sam.

- he’s blunt.

- just straight up.

- he’ll nonchalantly tell you if you have something in your teeth, and then pick it out for you.

- he’s the type to give you genuine input if you tried on a new outfit.

- like, “that looks amazing on you. turn around?” or “hm, it’d look better if it didn’t bunch up like that in the front.”

- zero shame. you know he’s not doing it to be rude, that’s just how he is.

- so, if he’s just lounging around at your house while you work, occasionally popping up to help you with easier tasks, expect him to be his same old self.

- and maybe even take you by surprise.

- you walk in during the evening, ready to change from your clothes and bathe after a long day.

- “hi baby,” he’s already smiling, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek and his hands wrapping around your waist.

- he doesn’t know what it is, maybe it’s the way your eyes were slightly lowered from tiredness, or the subtle earthy scent wafting off your body—but it made him much more excited to have you in his arms.

- “you always look so pretty when you finish work.” he sighs, his kisses pressing down the other side of your neck.

- “i do? please,” you snort, shaking your head to dismiss him like you always do.

- but this time, he wanted you to know for a fact just how gorgeous you are.

- “why do you never believe me when i compliment you?” he pouts, leaning to bury his face in your neck.

- it’s the way his soft gaze has your heart thumping a little quicker, and the slight tilt to his head makes your throat threaten to close.

- his lips wrap around yours before you can protest his comment, leaning into you to slightly dip your back over your bed until he’s dropping you both along the mattress carefully.

- “can i show you just how pretty you are? will you let me?”

- he can spend hours kissing you all over. if you have freckles or moles all around your skin, i can assure you he’s kissed every single one.

- i’d like to think that, despite him not being super experienced, he’s still a very loving guy.

- he doesn’t overthink, he’s very carefree, so if he wants to eat you out, he’s going to. obviously with your consent ofc.

- he may not be the best at it, but he does know a lot about you, and since he spends a lot of time with you, it’s easy to see what you like and what you don’t.

- he thinks ur cunt is so pretty. probably embarrasses you on accident by just staring at it LMFAOO

- he’s so gentle when he starts. pressing his hands into your inner thighs to keep them spread, and his tongue is the first to touch you.

- fingers your clit so he can really delve between your folds.

- “taste s’good,” he’ll moan into your cunt.

- btw he’s moaning just as much as you are, he can’t get enough.

- tell him what to do. he likes when you whisper, “just…keep doing that for a second,” or “wait move your hand ba—fuck, right there.”

- it makes him feel so good when he’s doing it right.

- another man who’ll rut against the bed, and may i be so bold as to say he might even cum just from eating you out?

- yes. yes i may.

- he’s so obedient too. i don’t think he has it in him to ever edge you, because he finds that he just can’t stop.

- will overstimulate you more then anything.

- when you cum, he’ll probably be panting just as much as you are. his breath against ur dripping cunt, making to shudder while you catch your own.

- cups your cheek to kiss you again, completely ignoring the fact that your slick is all over his lips.

- he’s in love.

- “thank you for being my girlfriend.” GNNNNN.

shane.

- tbh, y’all probably had sex before u even started dating.

- more then once, at that.

- some of which you were both tipsy after a friday night, coming back to your farm to fuck him in every room of your house.

- you guys were definitely fuckbuddies at first.

- he went down on you a few times during these stages.

- but, as a guy who was a little drunk, horny, and honestly just wanted to get his dick wet—it wasn’t the best he could do. just enough to warm you up.

- he was completely fine with your situation, until he started to realize he was actually falling for you.

- that he wanted to see you outside of just hooking up. he liked when you’d stop by on his way to work, talk to him for a minute. he’d actually look forward to it.

- so when he ended up on your couch again, arms laced and kiss marks already littering your neck, he knew he was going to make this time different.

- your dress rode up just under your bra, his lips sucking your skin down your stomach while you propped yourself against the armrest of the couch.

- he was quick to loop his fingers underneath your panties, tugging them down your legs.

- “someone’s eager,” you tease, having no clue that you’re absolutely right.

- he’s almost desperate. like he has to show you he’s better then what he’s done in the past.

- his arms latch onto your hips, teeth gently biting down on your inner thigh to hear you let out a brief squeal.

- “stay still f’me, okay?” he asks, his breath hitting against your cunt that makes your stomach flutter.

- it’s the way he delves between your thighs that has you stuttering a gasp, instantly ignoring his one request so he has to use minimal strength to force your hips still and thighs apart.

- his lips sucking onto your puffy clit, causing your stomach to clench and immediately squirm under his hold.

- you’re looking down at him like you’re baffled behind pinched eyebrows and jaw wide—which is exactly what he wanted.

- so much so, he can’t even hide his smirk as his tongue slides between your folds to taste you properly.

- “o-oh, fuck me,” you breathe, head hanging back.

- you’re squirming so much, and he’s not having it.

- “can’t you listen to me?” he almost groans, hardly pulling away for his words to become intelligible so the vibration against your clit has you arching your back.

- he’s so messy, uncaring about the slick that’s staining his cheeks and chin.

- loves when you hide your face, mainly because it makes his confidence boost, but he’ll fs call u out.

- “nuh-uh baby, eyes on me.”

- he’ll gently nip at your clit if you look away.

- and he’s teasing you so much, you can feel tears prickle in the corners of your eyes.

- he’ll edge you just so he can start all over, and then overstimulate you so you’ll never forget it.

- will literally leave you breathless, collapsed on your bed after cumming for what felt like hours.

- and he has the AUDACITY to ask, “what? that’s all you got? c’mon, you can give me one more…right?”

sebastian.

- spreading the inexperienced sebastian agenda one post at a time.

- he’s never gone down on anyone before. so genuinely, he has no idea what he’s doing.

- well, okay that’s a lie. he’s not an idiot.

- he knows how stimulating a woman’s clit is, and he knows where it is more importantly.

- but he’s never exactly had one directly in front of his face.

- he’s only ever seen pussy eating in porn, and that’s not the most reliable source. so he’s kind of just depending on you to help him out.

- don’t be shy, either. he wants to learn. he wants to make you feel good.

- his goal: to make you pass out, tbh.

- but baby steps first.

- you’ve already had sex many times before he even proposed the idea of going down on you.

- he’s fingered you before, but even then that’s still new.

- needless to say, you were taken off guard when he asks, “can i go down on you?” after a lazy evening.

- you’re both doing your own thing, with him on his computer and you cleaning some freshly harvested vegetables in the sink.

- “excuse me?” you laugh.

- until you realize he’s not kidding.

- “i wanna learn.” is all he says, before you’re grabbing his hand and guiding him to your bedroom.

- he’s gotten good at knowing how to kiss you, that enough has you warmed up pretty well. you didn’t even have to tell him to kiss his way down your neck, to your stomach before he’s spreading your thighs in front of him.

- he wants to start by fingering you, because he knows how to do that, plus he kinda wants to approach it confidently.

- like i once said. long, thin fingers. he also plays the keyboard…he’s skilled w his hands.

- rests his cheek on your thigh, watching the way his fingers disappear in and out of your wet cunt, and the occasional gasp you let out.

- “what do you want me to do?” almost breathless when he asks.

- when he feels bold enough, he subtly flicks the tip of his tongue against your clit, keeping his fingers moving inside of you while his eyes glance up.

- just the way your stomach clenched from that one simple action has him eager.

- wraps his lips around your clit and sucks.

- “s-shit, yeah, like that,” you weakly praise behind multiple stutters and pants.

- he can’t get enough of how your cunt squeezes around his fingers the more he does something your body appropriately reacts to.

- which he loves. it’s like you’re subconsciously telling him he’s doing so well.

- he never realized how much he loves when you tug on his hair until now, mainly because you unknowingly press him against your cunt so he has nothing better then to just lick.

- he doesn’t take his fingers out of you, but he does move them a little so he can finally get a taste of the entirety of you.

- whines.

- he’s practically drunk.

- wishes he wasn’t so nervous to do this beforehand, because fuck you feel so good on his tongue.

- “the prettiest pussy, tastes so fucking good,” he mumbles.

- you probably didn’t even hear him bc he made no effort to pull away.

- stuffs his fingers inside of you, curls them right when you’re about to cum.

- and when you do, he feels on top of the world.

- he’s never seen your body shake like that.

- and now he doesn’t wanna stop.

alex.

- omfffffg.

- he’s a sweetheart, through and through.

- so doting and adoring the longer you get to know him and be with him.

- it’s rare you’ll wake up to make breakfast, or make dinner without his arms wrapped around your waist and his chin resting on your head.

- and he’s a little clingy, but that’s just because he loves you so much.

- ur first time having sex w him was early in ur relationship. probably the same day you made it official i’m ngl.

- but he likely didn’t go down on you until a few times after.

- not because he didn’t want to, but lowkey giving or receiving head isn’t his favorite part of sex. as a man w a lot of stamina, he’s fucking you to fuck you. not just eat you out.

- which is why you were a little shocked when you felt his kisses move down your torso, his hands gliding against the sides of your waist as he moves down.

- he also wraps his arms around your thighs to hold you still,

- mainly to show off his muscles.

- oh yeah, he’s not wearing a shirt btw. he never does.

- kinda laughs when you express your nervousness about him going down on you.

- “relax, pretty. just trust me. i’ll stop if you want me to.”

- kisses your thighs, and once he finally takes off ur underwear he’s suchhh a tease.

- like, to the point where you’re dripping, impatiently rocking your hips into him.

- “what happened, baby? not scared anymore? what’s the matter, hmm?” “all needy and i haven’t even done anything, hah.”

- i hate him (affectionately.)

- once he finally touches you where you need him, he’s so fucking slow.

- eyes on you the whole time, his little snarky smirk on his face watching you nibble onto the back of your hand to muffle your moans.

- he waits a minute before he fingers you while licking your clit.

- he feels so fucking good when you give up on staying quiet, letting your back arch and nearly scream out a moan.

- he’s so quick with it, his nice, thick fingers knowing just where to curl inside of you.

- “cum for me, c’mon, know you can do it.” he pulls away to speak.

- he needs to watch you entirely when you cum, so he replaces his lips with his thumb while he rubs your clit and fingers you until you’re sobbing.

- “i know baby, i know. just let it out.”

- he doesn’t stop just yet, but he’ll slow down until you nearly force him away from overstimulation.

- makes u lick his fingers loooolllllll.

- and he’ll make out with you so hard while you’re still trying to catch your breath.

- side note, i feel like he enjoys putting you in lots of different positions. if you weren’t flexible before alex, then u sure as hell are now.

- …probably ate u out once with u sitting on his shoulders against the wall. i’m sayin.

elliot.

- alright now.

- do i even have to say it?

- HE’S A MUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!

- if u don’t think he’s eating u out the very first time u have sex then ur just lying to urself. there’s no way he’d miss this step.

- if you don’t want him to, that’s a different story. he wouldn’t even dream of pressuring you.

- but if you do…u better believe.

- he’s so gentle and sweet, first of all.

- holding your cheek, cupping your jaw while your lips move so graciously against one another’s.

- he’s absolutely kissing his way down, but he’s taking his time, letting you squirm underneath him.

- “you’re just so perfect darling, look so beautiful.”

- kisses ur clit <3

- he’s so slow and gentle, licking you softly and listening to your quiet gasps.

- he swoons when he can hear your breath hitch the moment he starts to pick up his movements.

- he’ll position your thighs on his shoulders and laces your fingers together.

- he’s super responsive. loves when you praise him / tell him you like what he’s doing.

- especially when you feel so good you can’t really speak, so you end up roping your fingers through his hair and tugging it into a loose bun.

- that’s enough to drive him crazy.

- “nngh, c-can’t, s’too much,” you whine, back arches and eyes squeezed shut.

- but your words mean nothing in contrast to the way your hands press against the back of his head, keeping his close.

- he doesn’t even need to use his fingers to make you cum. his tongue is so skilled.

- sucking ur clit like a pacifier 🫡

- he’s also very vocal. he usually coaxes you through sex using his words, but since he can’t while he’s eating u out, he’s just left to moaning uncontrollably.

- and he can’t get over the vibrations making your body shudder every time.

- he gets so excited when you’re close to cumming.

- how you just kind of go silent, jaw locked in aisle nt scream with an occasional whimper pushing through.

- and how you immediately exhale the moment you finish, body nearly collapsing.

- he’s not stopping lol.

- wants you literally shaking, your overstimulation short circuiting your brain so you just fall weak.

- “i’m so proud of you, my love. did so good for me, tastes so good. think you can do it again?”

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nana-mizu-shiki · 3 days

Text

Kk. So. This isn't so much art but more a poem that I'm going to put into a fic I'm gonna make. Y'know song fics? Like that but with a poem. One I made and am going to give you the context of, I just wanna know if you guys would think a poem song fic would be cool.

The fic promt I thought of was:

What if Tim was dipped into the Lazarus Pit, but twice?????

And then I started coming up with a bunch of stuff listening to music, and I was like:

Thought Process? : Tim died in that desert. The Spleen incident didn't just leave him with a surprise surgery. It left him with glowing green eyes and half-white bangs. But of course, none of the Bats can know that, so, hair dye. Suprise, Suprise, the Pits don't bring Rage, they bring out the worst of a person. Jason? Anger. Ra's? Cruelty. Tim? Apathy. Tim's triggers? Betrayal, Abandonment, Reliance, Expectations Set For Perfection. Because. He. Has. To. Be. Perfect. Inherits Drake I. and Wayne E., slowly trying to cut ties with Gotham and The Bats, fades into the background until The Bats are too late to realize and too late to try to even stop him as he and Ra's make a deal. The deal? Cliffhanger. Up to the reader. And Worse? The Bats don't even realize as he left, taken back with The Demon Head to become his heir, and after months, training under Ra's himself, Returning to Gotham Under the alias of Shadow Shrike, civilian Tim D. W. A. G., although legally Timothy Drake-Wayne. Forever 17, hair shoulders length and bangs white, eyes permanently and mix of ice blue and mint green, flecks of Lazarus neon green passing even at simple glances of those he once called family. Dying his bangs temporarily in public, his vigilante-ism the thing that alerts the others of his return, his change. His Revival. His Death. Blah Blah Blah, Angst Confrontation Shenanigans, Details and Description of how the Pits affect Tim, how the Batfam try to reconnect and makeup, Yadda Yadda, Ends on a sorta cliffhanger thing where the reader chooses which Tim goes to as a Confrontation happens on a roof and Tim chooses between Jason, the Other Bats, Ra's, And Young-Just-Us.

Damn that was a word vomit.

Anyway, the poem is below,

Edit: I kinda realized the poem I'd really long and I'm considering putting this on Ao3 itself lol (*＞∇＜)ﾉ

👇

Green.

Abandoned and left; unthanked for,

Unthanked for?

They're ungrateful.

Green.

Lied and unapologetized to,

Left on Their own, and never recognized too.

Green.

Complete it all,

Raised to be Perfect,

Can never fall,

Always quiet and obedient,

Now Forever Indifferent.

Green.

To bring back the Bat,

Is to travel and turn,

Be ostracized and taken from,

Wings given to another,

Betrayed by those meant to be Their Brothers.

Green.

Betrayed and afraid,

Kicked out and replaced and stolen from a child,

To make a deal with The Demon Head

And to sell Their soul,

All Their worth,

All They've done,

What other choice?

What else is left?

Mentality;

Already on the brink,

Morality;

Like liquid and searching for who it obeys,

Green.

Left to die,

All alone

No longer were they meant to fly;

Sacrificing all their lives,

To help others and then left to die?

Green.

Alive.

Alive with no care. No care at all.

Apathy pulls the teen.

Eyes and vision glowing green all because of a spleen.

Okay so I'm not done but I really want to save this and post it on AO3, so pls let me know if you want to read more of this poem or the ideas of the fic it will go to. Thanks for reading (*^▽^)/★*☆♪*.ﾟ+ヽ(○･▽･○)ﾉﾞ +.ﾟ*

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hchano · 10 months

Text

oh, i figure since i'm back and i noticed my follower count went up while i was away (probably due to old miraculous art 😂), lemme make a few things clear!

this blog is ship and let ship!

i don't ship anything too weird or problematic, but i also don't care what anyone else is shipping! i will block and mute things that bother me, but i'm not going to vet the ppl i reblog from, so pls don't send asks informing me of ppl i reblog from being into The Bad Ships. i rly do not care 😂

(on there other hand, if someone has done something actually horrible to an actual real living breathing person, pls reach out! i don't want to support ppl who harm others 🥲)

re: proship & antiship

if you are the type to have a "proship dni" rule, you might be more comfortable blocking me! i hella don't claim the label (and again, mostly ship vanilla stuff, so i likely won't be posting anything offensive), but i cannot stress enough how much i don't care what other ppl are doing with fiction. i know this is important to some ppl, tho, so do what makes you comfy!

(but again, if ppl i rb from have done something awful to a real person, pls lemme know.)

other stuff

- I'm pro choice; cis and trans ppl have the right to do whatever they want with their own bodies. if that doesn't vibe with you, it'd be good to block me.

- LGBTQIA+ stands together; if you're an exclusionary, i beg you to block me. trans & intersex ppl having basic human rights is not up for debate.

- if i ever say some dumb, ignorant, or tactless shit, pls feel free to reach out and correct me. i am very chill and am always open to discussing and learning to be better. and like anyone, the day i stop learning is the day i die lol. otherwise, once again feel free to block me if i really upset you! it's not ur job to teach me if u don't want to! (but fwiw 99.9% of the time, whatever i say is not intended to upset anyone, i'm just occasionally a tactless dumbass lol.)

#i prolly left some stuff out but #i think that'll do #do i need to tag proship since i mentioned it even tho i don't claim it lol #like i've seen some really shitty ppl claim that label who harass minors and i'm not here for it lol #ig i will #proship mention #shut up h #psa #??? ig #antiship mention #or maybe just #anti mention

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oceanlipgloss · 4 months

Text

8.1.2023

The other post couldn't fit any more images but I still wanted to add a bunch lol anyways, I'll continue stuffing extra screenshots just 'cause :D

⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ´ˎ˗

intro: he is such a good king. also, this power is really admirable (hot imagery too)

update I: aaaah you go, you two <3

update II: I'm gonna melt I'M MELTINGGG I love himmmmm I love him so much

update III: aw lol he's adorable

update IV: excuse you, but Satan is MINE, not yours. MINE MINE MINE <3

update V: pls don't hinder him, let him collect money stop him at once

update VI: go ahead, sweetie how come Jjyu is being so quiet and not roasting your butt

update VII: 'thick eyebrows' they say that to my face when his eyebrows are thinner than mine tf u mean thick eyebrows what does that make my eyebrows then, bushes? I like them

update VIII: omg Mammon calls Beelzebub 'Bell' noooo that's so cute shut up shut up shut up aaaah they talk about Beelzebub and my heart + interest both go STONKS➚

update IX: goddamn, punching an unconscious Leamas, are we? Mammon doesn't seem to be the violent type though, and he seems to have something in mind, so I'll see where this goes

update X: BIMET'S IN THE CHAT WITH PPYONG, SITRI AND MC NOW TOO YESSSS

update XI: because I love you for educational purposes, honey

update XII: who's gonna tell him that MC is a hobo too? But be gentle about it, pls you don't want him to faint from shock, do you?

update XIII: kwksnjsjs eeeeee but how did he change his attitude and mind so quickly

update XIV: so Mammon doesn't trust Leamas due to a gut feeling, and it's said that Mammon's intuition is always right. And there's something about Nina...

update XV: no, it's not! Not at all! Gimme some

update XVI: someone is really romantic <3 By the looks of it, he seems to really, really like MC, so I'm going to go ahead and say that he's the type who falls in love first, and falls in love fast. SO CUTE

update XVII: "let me enjoy my date" his smile is so cute, it's almost contagious <3 and HE? IS SO, SO LOVABLE Also! There's an upcoming H-scene let's hope I can make it there first which means that MC leaving with Mammon is going to be followed with MC feeling unwell again (and logically, Mammon should be the next one to have some fun *inkling boy voice* WHOOPEEEE)It's strange that Satan didn't interject this time though TAKE YOUR LADY BACK

update XVIII: SCREECHING ANGELS INCOMING ONCE AGAIN Now close your eyes and answer me this: CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREECHING??? On the inside, of course. This poker face doesn't melt off that easily (edit 3: man, there are 36 angels, but that would've been totally fine if it weren't for how ¾ of them were of the red screaming type + there's such little space so there's no actual way to distribute your team properly besides a horizontal line. Having the demons so close to each other is the only possible 'distribution,' which means that they die like flies one after the other and ughhhh)

update XIX: this is horrid. Putrid. Vile. Grotesque. Those screaming monstrosities won't stop coming the H-scene must really be something, huh? Whatchu gonna do, Mammon?

update XX: several very, very fruitless attempts and team deaths later... Well...I have materials, and I have keys. So what do I do? FUCK IT, WE BALL *shudder* DO ONE 10-PULL, that's what! This hurts my heart knowing my luck, I'm not going to get even one L card lmao But I'm curious about something and want to confirm whether it's going to happen or not. All this time, my intution has told me that I'd get Andrealphus on my first ever 10-pull with lesser keys. Am I right or wrong? Stay tuned! (it wounds me to take this risk and spend 30 of my precious keys, but here goes nothing sob sob PLEASE let this be worth the sacrifice)

update XXI: UHHHH???? HEHEHEHEHEHEHE broooo lol omfg I AM GIDDY I WAS RIGHT LOL I can't even bring myself to feel salty about not getting an L card that's a fucking lie, yet it's also the truth BUT OMGGGGGG

update XXII: okay, I calmed down some I think Anyways, I got Marbas and Buer too (I'm holding all of Lucifer's guys hostage now. Is this a sign that I will pull Lucifer himself once his card is launched? God do I hope it is but it probably isn't) And I also sob pulled another Ppyong and another Gusion (you're so damn hot, Gusion, but WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME??? I WAS HOPING FOR AN L CARD BEELZEBUB GODDAMMIT let's be honest tho, I knew I wasn't gonna get ANY L card) does this mean that Gusion likes me as much as I like him? Is my admiration so powerful it transcends screens and reaches the virtual world? Because boy...<3 but if that were the case I should have also pulled Satan and Beelzebub BUT I GOT ANDRE OH GOD THIS FEELS LIKE A DREAM I CAN'T BELIEVE IT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS RIGHT I SHOULD REALLY TRUST MY GUT MKRE OMG SJDBKLSJS I also have this illogical, intense desire to care for him binge-upgrade him, but I want to save materials for L cards I might never get...still, I have a feeling he won't disappoint despite being close-range, so I'm going to upgrade him to level 20, try him out and see how he does

update XXIII: "the devil who eternally gazes at his lover with blind eyes" is such a tragic and romantic sentiment, so much so that I suddenly actually FEEL inspired to write and give him more emotional anguish but will I actually find the energy to do so? Nobody knows

update XXIV: THAT'S THE FIRST THING HE SAID I KNEW IT FROM HIS INTRO QUOTE BUT HE SEEMS SO ROMANTIC AND GENTLE AND HE'S MAKING ME SAD I LOVE HIM ALREADY back to lowercase now

update XXV: So! I just tried him out in Dark Sanctuary for jello pudding that looks like jello and WHAT. THE. FUCK. HE'S AMAZING. HIS ULTIMATE ATTACK??? YOU GET A PROMOTION BBY and his chibi and its animation are so cuteeeee (edit 1: aaand I promoted him, he earned it) I haven't forgotten about Marbas either! HE'S A HERO <3 I kind of did forget about Buer though so I'll try him out tomorrow (edit 2: I lumped Buer and all my new guys into the gang and sent them out to THAT battle. And honestly? I was surprised at the improvement. I can make it to 15 angels left with people actually alive now lol Buer's not too bad, I'm using him to heal Satan but those screeching abominations won't let Satan live much. And this is kind of dark but it's funny how Andre sounds like he's having a mental breakdown when he's defeated lol)

update XXVI: he's intent on breaking my heart. I don't want MC to sleep with him, I want her to hug him and stroke his head and kiss his eyelids until he falls asleep or at the very least do all these things for him in the H-scene

update XXVII: I know the drill by now. If I don't manage to pass this hellhole of a battle by day 3 of being stuck on it, that means desperate measures a long ass wait, but I'll put up with that because no more lesser keys will be spent for now I swear it upon my honor

Wow though, is this the high you people who regularly do lesser key pulls feel? I feel powerful and I didn't even pull an L card lol because Andre may be an S in-game, but to me he's an L and because my gut was right

9.1.2024

update XXVIII: I like how 3-77 actually has the nerve to say 'lv. 49 required' when I'm sitting here with barbecue sauce on my titties a LEVEL 89 Satan and still getting obliterated to no end. 'Lv. 49 required' must be code for '2+ lvl 49 L cards needed to save your life'

update XXIX: I made it to 6 remaining angels and lost lol but I'm not really THAT pissed about it because when I first tried my hand at this battle I would constantly go down with 20+ angels out of 36 remaining, then it got better with 15 angels left, and I eventually managed to make it alive *gasp* to the final 6! That's great improvement and it hopefully means that there's a chance of getting past this woooo but I hope that if I do succeed, 3-78 would be kinder, and by kinder I mean—for the love of God, for the love of all that is holy—NO. SCREAMING. ANGELS. At least, not batches upon batches of them because my God man, they just keep on coming

update XXX: I finally passeddddd God bless each member of my team for making this possible, but I extend special blessings to Marbas, Astaroth, Andrealphus and Satan lol Now onto the next battleeee

update XXXI: PASSED! THE H-SCENE IS SO CLOSE OH MY GOD sknfdbksk it's going to get it's own post, because I always have a LOT to say and a bunch of screenshots to share, more so when it comes to H-scenes, so...IT'S GONNA BE MAMMON ISN'T IT

update XXXII: angels are in the sky and the girl is busy being horny greedy how surprising

update XXXIII: yup it makes perfect sense that he would react to her thinking 'I hope that's mine' but fuck he's so cool

update XXXIV: excuse me, but...'your muscles'?

update XXXV: oh man that's kinda soft I love that he's so happy he fell silent

update XXXVI: dude he's so happy and he wants to hear her say that she wants him again that's so adorable wtf Mammonnnn

update XXXVII: sir! Be careful with my heart

update XXXVIII: ROFL BRUH NO I CANNOT And to make it even funnier? SQUISH SQUISH

update XXXIX: the H-scene is up next! I have no doubt about it now—it's Mammon this time. But Lord, I feel sort of nervous lmao my heart is acting weird and my stomach is going *knot knot* inspired by squish squish all this and I haven't even seen the intro screen to the scene for a hint yet lol ANYWAYS, LET ME GET TO IT IN ANOTHER POST BECAUSE I PROMISE, I WILL HAVE A LOT TO BLAB ABOUT SAY

update XXXX: Mammon was right about Leamas, apparently. Thought so...but I have a bunch of battles to beat before I can see what Leamas has to say, so good luck to me lol Because wow, now that I'm almost finished with Chapter 3, even the 'normal' battles have gotten considerably harder pls be nice, I have but one L card there's constantly 30+ angels, and many of them are usually the ones that shit spikes release spikes (honestly though, anything is better than the screaming ones which I'm sure are coming soon) and they're spawning fast, making up masses and hoards lmao it's hard depending on one character to save everyone else's asses, man so I'm sometimes having to repeat more than once to get by

10.1.2024

update XXXXI: so Leamas's real name is Samael and he and Nina love each other, and I'm assuming he was punished for that. I know angels have rules to abide by, but talk about unjust...

update XXXXII: guilty gems get an honorable mention today

update XXXXIII: Satan about to threaten Mammon if he were going to say that MC is his, followed by Mammon saying that he changed his mind since he decided to be MC's, and then MC being like 'that's new. Anyways, moving on'? lol

update XXXXIV: I. LOVE. SATAN <3

update XXXXV: Leamas took MC with him. Damn, I wonder what's going to happen now and where he's going to take her and Nina. Everyone is going to come to MC's rescue, there's no doubt about it, but what's gonna happen BEFORE THEY DO? I'm so excited though, I'm gonna start Chapter 4 in a few! At least, I hope I can then again, logically, the boss fights are always a lot easier than normal battles, so I should be good! (edit: DONE! Those human-looking angels are so cute lol they look like soft little dolls. I want one)

TIME FOR CHAPTER FOURRRRRR

edit: WHAT. THE??? AN H-SCENE. RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTER 4. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT HAS TO BE BIMET'S BECAUSE BELIAL IS STILL IN THE HOSPITAL OMFG AAAAAH SKNZBKDB

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad #what in hell is bad diaries

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a-cloud-for-dreams · 3 months

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Hello I’m here to demand you tell me everything about Scarlet SanDiego pretty pretty pls with a Cherry on top

EEEEEK *takes in deep breath* ok this is a long one

-> Scarlett Vera Sandiego

Sister: Xiomara Isabel Calloway

Animated FC: Princess Elena Castillo Flores from EOA (different eye color and auburn hair)

Fandom: Carmen Sandiego 2019/Laws of Attraction

Designated Tag: #scarlett sandiego oc

LI: Soren Reinhart (OC; International Spy)

I also remembered my OG LOA MC literally after you made the ask 😭 (Kavya "Kavi" Asvaldr Nikatas I think, also she/her who is besties with my CoP MC) and I actually was gonna end up pairing her with Thomas in an alt MOTY Universe! Though I haven't finished the series yet so Thomas was gonna be my backup LI unless I decide who she wants to be with/stay single. The idea of her 7th wheeling is hilarious to me. So if she sounds more interesting for the Windverse™️ feel free to tell me. It might even be easier since she's a blank slate that I can add to after replaying

I don't really know where to begin so this post is kind of gonna be a mess/super vague uhhhh

Nickname(s): Scar

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality/Preference: Bisexual

Religious Identity: Agnostic

Birthday/Zodiac: December 15 (Sagittarius)

Major: Lawyer

Born/Raised: Buenos Aires, Argentina -> Sydney, Australia

Parents: Carmen Sandiego (Superthief -> Philanthropist) and Graham "Crackle" Calloway (Ex-Electrician; Deceased in "Accidental" Fire)

Ethnicity(?): Argentinian and Indigenous Australian

Trivia: Central Heterochromia (Hazel-Gray Eyes)

Life Motto: "Find your inner flame"

Connection w/ Other MCs: Friends with OPH MC and I believe she's distantly related to my ACOR MC? I have to check lol

I'm literally blanking rn but basically, her parents used to be thieves and part of a secret evil organization (her mom was raised there from birth and met her dad at the same school), and after they defeated said organization, they settled down (even started the Scarlet Sheep Orphanage) but ofc the leaders of [organization] weren't gonna let them live happily ever after. So they staged a fire that killed Gray. Scar ran back inside after she saw her father die. She lived with a lot of resentment towards the organization and specifically the people who killed her father, but eventually, she was able to take that grief and do everything she could in her power to ensure justice is always served (literally, she's a fashion icon in my head). She didn't have a conventional family growing up but there was a lot of love (ninja grandfather, mechanic aunt and racecar driver uncle, secret agent godparents, famous singer aunt, and-)

How They Look Like:

From left to right: Scarlett Sandiego (art by @procrastinateland) and Kavya Nikatas

#omg it's been 84 years since I've talked about my beloved she was my very first OC *ever*#she has a lot of alt universes so the people here from my The Scars of Revenge era may be a lil confused that is another reason LOA MC 2 #might be easier to work with but again I don't wanna be a hassle 😭#asks #scarlett sandiego oc #mir's musings 💬#carmen sandeigo netflix #carmen sandiego #graham calloway #tdp soren #xiomara calloway oc #playchoices #mother of the year #thomas mendez #red crackle #wholesome memories 📸#kavya nikatas oc #laws of attraction

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icedmetaltea · 4 months

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5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16 UwU

5. if you make content, what's your favorite piece you've contributed? - UM that's a tough one... prolly dis since it was the first time I spent so much time on a single piece of art, like bout a week

6. Answered in the previous one!

8. do you have any ocs, or have any ocs you're fond of? - Yup! The only ones I've made a bit of content for on here are Allie and Molly, and I think like one piece w/ Nelly and Night (my ocs tend to come in pairs for some reason) there's also the Glowworm ocs but I haven't made any content for them but one vague post with like a poem?? Idk I suppose I'm the most fond of Allie/Molly just cause I projected into Allie HARD growing up, esp when coming to terms with being genderfluid since he's trans

9. what do you think of the dca's canon appearance? Scary? Cute? Something else? - Cute, huggable, kissable and I am not joking ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Pls just let me hug canon Sun one time and I can die happy. Forreal tho I love robots who genuinely look like robots, not just humans with metal skin or something lol

10. what keeps you in this fandom despite the very small amount of canon content the dca had? - My unhealthy obsession for Sun 😭 I thought I'd move on but like... he's so my type it hurts and I haven't found a character that checks so many boxes at once since then

15. do you interpret sun and moon as two sides of the same person, or truly two separate beings in one body? does it matter? - Two beings in one body; I don't think it makes a huge difference unless you're writing a fic and trying to go in-depth about how they interact

16. what's something in the fandom you'd like to see more of? - UNHINGED SUN UNHINGED SUN UNHINGED SUN, Sun being a dick, Sun being rude, Sun being morally bankrupt, just Sun MMMMMM

Thanks so much Charshine! :D

#Answer tag #Metaltea Talks #laymedowntorest #friend stuffs #*gives charshine a basket full of wild strawberries*

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rollercoasterwords · 1 year

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I saw your post about angst earlier and I thought "atydsp was the *angstiest* most miserable book I've ever read" (it's a compliment btw) and then I remembered that YOU wrote it. So, you being an angst lover and the writer of the angstiest thing I've read, I wanted to ask you for recs(?), If that's ok(?)

Just, what are the angstiest books/fics you've ever read? Like, stare-at-the-wall-and-cry-silently-for-hours, feel-numb-for-days, make-you-want-to-scream-like-your-first-born-died, kind of angst. And, if you want, even throw in there films, music, poems too,idk.

It's all about the feeling. I just want to get my soul ripped apart and bleed-out on the floor again:'(

If it's too much or if it's weird, I'm sorry and feel free to ignore me pls<3

look at me. look into my eyes. you are my favorite person on this website right now. i LOVE this question omg ok buckle up i'm making a list

rae's angstiest-of-all-time recs*:

*with the caveat that this is a subjective list, these are just things that made me, specifically, feel like crying and screaming and staring at the wall for whatever reason. not all of these are stories that end in tragedy; some have happy endings! but if it made me feel like my guts were being twirled around like spaghetti on a fork at some point then it made the list <3

fics:

hackery, by orphan_account i will keep yelling at people to read this until the day i die it is SO good and literally under 2k words u can finish it in like five minutes. go read it rn PLEASE i'm begging

a great, big tragedy by zeppazariel @mayzarbewithyou for all crimson rivers angst enjoyers <3 the au what-if-regulus-died ending

let the ghosts sleep tonight by outlaw_baby dorlene oneshot set during the first war SO beautiful i reread this all the time

zwischen immer und nie (between always and never) by sudowoodo an albus dumbledore/gellert grindelwald fic about the summer they fell in love. was recommended to me by a friend who knows i love angst and thought i would appreciate it. they were correct.

notes on a resurrection by newleaves perhaps my favorite fic of all time and one that was also recommended to me by a friend! this one has a happy ending but BOY does it take you on a ride to get there

that's the art of getting by by sarewolf @sarewolf one of my favorite fics ever <3 another happy ending but plenty of angst before we get there <3

choices by messermoon @little-shit-soph i mean i feel like i don't even need to say anything about this one but. yeah if ur looking for tragedy and angst this is a good place to go lmao

books

the feverwake duology, by victoria lee i don't think i've talked about this series before on my blog but it is one of my FAVORITES of all time oh god. it's so so so fucking good dystopian sci-fi magic plague war just. SUCH a cool concept and SUCH beautiful writing i've read it three times and might need to reread soon lol

teeth, by hannah moskowitz gay mermaid love story but like. in the absolute most fucked-up way possible. i love this book SO much hannah moskowitz is just one of my favorite writers of all time

a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz my favorite book! another story where you get a happy ending but the angst u go through to get there...exquisite

human acts, by han kang made me cry like a fucking baby. this is historical fiction based on very real events and interviews with people who experienced the gwangju uprising + massacre in south korea in 1980.

the song of achilles, by madeline miller another one that i feel like i don't even need to say anything about lol

crush, by richard siken poetry!! here's ur poetry rec. the richard siken hype is not a lie this book will gut you

the animorphs series, by k.a. applegate i am being 100% serious this is one of my favorite series of all time and i read it for the first time as an adult like. this is not childhood nostalgia it was too scary for me as a kid. genuinely changed the way i think about writing and truly is one of the best war stories i have ever read. the last book is gut-wrenching in a way that very little else i have come across is.

the hunchback of notre-dame, by victor hugo for the classics enjoyers <3 victor hugo is one of my favorite writers i was really into his books in high school lol

the man who laughs, by victor hugo not as well-known as his other work but i wrote a big research paper on this book one time so it holds a special place in my heart just bc i spent so much time with it

tv shows

banana fish (2018) outing myself as an occasional anime enjoyer lmao. i watched this bc i kept seeing people talk about how tragic it was and then i saw my sister watching it and i looked up a plot summary of what happens at the end and i was like huh that sounds interesting. and then i sat down to watch it KNOWING what was going to happen and i still like. was screaming crying by the end.

the haunting of bly manor (2020) just re-watched this show like two months ago and it is 2/2 on making me cry so!!

movies

children who chase lost voices (2011) this movie has a happy ending but like. idk man there's this one specific scene that just GETS me every time. always feel hollowed out but like...in a good way after watching it.

brokeback mountain (2005) i mean...do i need to say anything about this one? gay cowboy tragedy my beloved <3

the last unicorn (1982) watching this movie as a kid is i think what altered my brain chemicals and made me an angst enjoyer. so! had to put it on the list <3

and of course on a final note--as these are heavy angst + tragedy etc etc if u know there are things u need to watch out for please look up trigger warnings before diving in! they all contain content that is upsetting in some way...hence the angst. hopefully that doesn't even need to be said but. well an honest hard-working angst farmer needs to cover his bases sometimes doesn't he

also! tysm for the angst praise lol SO happy to hear that atydsp is one of the angstiest things you've read truly the highest form of praise 2 me <3

#ask #fic recs #atydsp #book recs

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aroace-polyshow · 1 year

Text

pinned post time!!

(user boxes all by @/sweetpeauserboxes, except otori siblings one, that one is by me, and the tags are a screenshot of a compliment i got from a reblog game)

hola amigos i'm marlo!! i have a bunch of names though, you can also call me mono, venus, jupiter, or milo

i'm honduran/american!!

i have a few sideblogs including: @cyberpunk-deadboy - art only blog!! @marlos-fave-characterthoughts - character analysis blog thing?? where i save a lot of posts about characters i like :] @vflower-spotted - rbing vflower fanart!! @rui-kamishiro-spotted - same thing but rui!! @pjsk4koma-cutouts @daily-polyshow @marlos-shelf-of-posts @daily-rui-kamishiro co run blog!! more. that i am forgetting to add here. plus a few rp blogs and like 3 secret ones. which if you find i would prefer you did not bring up here <3

my main fandoms are: omori, project sekai, vocaloid/utau, bungo stray dogs. project sekai is currently the main one.

i also enjoy and sometimes reblog stuff for: we know the devil, dr stone, one piece, your turn to die, sanrio, night in the woods, sarazanmai, persona 5 and other stuff i know i'm forgetting

i use caps pretty often and swear a lot. heads up lol.

don't ever be afraid to tag me in stuff i'm more than happy about it!! i also LOVE ask games i reblog them whenever i see one pls pls pls send me asks i think theyre so fun i love talking to people

tags to note: mono’s stuff - self explanatory. any of my own posts, be it text a photo or whatever mono’s art - self explanatory. any of my own art. some of it is from my sideblog. won’t queue let me feel like a real devil for a moment? - queue tag. wktd quote. hollow ☆ wonderland - unit swap again but its wxs as n25 i love them so much please ask me whatever you want about them i’m so normal about them i prommy (lying) (MASTERPOST) <- THIS SHIT IS BROKEN BUT I’LL FIX IT EVENTUALLY IGNORE IT FOR NOW

also if you couldn’t tell wonderlands x showtime is my favorite project sekai group, they mean a lot to me and i post about them a lot. just a heads up i get SO annoying about them. i love them so dearly.

and uhm i think thats it? i might be forgetting something. idk though.

#pinned post #it is done 👍#mono’s stuff

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comeonblub · 1 year

Text

i do this thing where i write notes about my knowledge of a new media before starting it, my experience during it, and then my perspective after (if i finish)

separately, ive also been losing my mind about Outer Wilds for well over a week now. ive decided i want to share it

(if you notice that it's been years since ive posted on here no you didn't)

also if you haven't played the game, i recommended you do not read this and instead go download Outer Wilds

spoilers below

NOTES: Outer Wilds / before playing

- has that one song with annoying whistling that i always skip when it shows up on Spotify

- that one person i follow on Tumblr absolutely loves it it's like their favourite game

- seems like it might be emotional or something?

- uhhhh space aliens? i think??

NOTES: Outer Wilds / start playing

- omg the controls SUCk

- oh IM the alien

- lag lag lag and very not keyboard friendly (yes im playing with a keyboard no i don't have a controller)

- ...

- okay keybind + graphics adjustments, and ive made it ever so slightly better

- i do not want to talk to you

- I DO NoT know what i am supposed to be doing what what what

- maybe i shouldve talked to people

- uhhhhh did I do that?

- the world explodes and dies. why. bc of me?

- UHHh

- oh hey the game references the fact i died lol

- okay Doing this again i guess and won't repeat the thing that killed me i think

- don't fucking TouCH that thing it explodes worlds

- okay okay im getting good info i think def don't want to die this time unless i can save

- do i save at that one statue? let's try

- WAIT FUCK FUCK The World's exploding again WHY

- BUHHHH

- "you're lucky im in a timeloop because otherwise I'd be super dead" �� LMAO OKAY I MAY BE WON OVER

- okay so the explosions are independent of me. im going back to that thing and fucking around w/ it

- ...

- 15 Hours Into Game

- brittle hollow and i are besties now

- the lore is intricate ain't it. at times i feel like i understand everything. at others im completely lost. if there's a strategy here i don't know it. im just compelled to explore

- the Southern Observatory kinda went off tho with that visual and music combo

- the Fucking Moon

- i got stuck in anglerfish overlook w/ rising sand and just had to wait to die by being scrunched on the ceiling. absolutely worst way to go was awful and i hated it

- 22 min......

- reading explanations that completely recontexutalizes things i'd took for granted or previously ignored is a trip and a half

- my worldview gets shattered every other loop, millions dead but don't worry death means nothing

- like "the sun station",.. oh. "22 min interval"... OH

- i don't know what else to do here

- giants deep whomst ive ignored

- THERES ANOTHER PERSON WHO STUCK IN THIS TIMELOOP WITH ME?

- !!!

- gabbro my beloved

- hhhngg these puzzles.. am i missing something. should i know it now. will i learn it later. the stupid watery core and electricity...

- ...

- 25 Hours Into Game

- i know this galaxy

- i know it intimately

- but there are some places that are just so stupidly challenging to get to. i get there once. i never want to have to do it again. (giants deep core– once. sun station– once. coleus' lakebed quantum cave– twice. centre of the interloper– twice. the vessel– once. high energy lab– twice.)

- ...

- quantum moon whoag

- uh hm what

- YOURE ALIVE

- solanum i love u

- "think of you as a friend" PLS CAN I HUG

- ...

- 30+ HOURS INTO GAME

- i figured out the ash twin core

- i chickened out of taking the thing to do other things instead. achievement hunting.

- it's simply much too scary. no fallback. what happens if no core, no loop

- oh

- .. oh

- fucking hell i didn't realize how much id become dependent on the safety net of a timeloop. of like, functional immortality

- the fear of the unknown. of something new. of actual death

- ...

- well then

- FINISHING MAIN GAME

- i took the core. i left the ash twin project.

- music immediately begins kicking up into something new and emotional and anticipatory

- I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS MORE TO DO

- i panic and warp back to ask twin project. return the core to the machine

- what a wuss. but i feel better

- think think think think

- where Have I Seen that before. the core

- okay i have an idea of what to do but. fear

- I PRACTICE. Practice! i do 3+ runs to test getting past those Fucking FISH

- AND THEN DO IT FOR REAL

- screaming and crying

- BUT I SUCCEED

- whhhjhb whoaggh

- eye...

- HhhHhh quantummmm

- what

- a guy

- what

- ... euuuu cry mine friendsss

- ayy the fucking hell im emotional

- goddamn. What A Game. that music. holy shit

- ...

NOTES: Outer Wilds / post playing

- even as i did the ending there was still a small part of me that thought... i can save them

- ... (there will be a way to save them)

- there wasn't of course. and it hurt. but... not in a completely bad way

- it's like. the small flickering hope i felt at the end of all things, it still meant something. it still got me TO the end

- i know it was just a game but. it makes me think

- ...

- BONUS Saga of me accomplishing achievements: the fact that i later was able to break reality and also talk to myself in game was fun and cool and sexy

- i WILL be playing DLC but i need to recover

#outer wilds #outer wilds spoilers #long post #live reaction (kind of partially)#back from the dead bc i needed to empty my brain #i actually have played echoes of the eye too bu this point #maybe will share those notes too if ppl like

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izzy-b-hands · 3 months

Note

fanfic asks! 5, 8, and 14

Ella!!! Thank you for asking 🫂🫂

Putting this under a cut because I am a wordy motherfucker as ever and This Got Long, I'm So Sorry💖

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Oh god. So Many fkldsjaflkdsjfa. I'll stop at twoish here, but pls know that if y'all want more for other fandoms, I can add to this post with more lmaoo, I love sharing these.

-There was one for LOTR that still sticks in my brain years since first having it: Sam suddenly leaving the Shire and wandering aimlessly, but refusing to settle anywhere.

Over the course of it, he would get help/care/concern from wherever he stopped with whoever remained in each location, but he would refuse to stay for more than a few days or accept more than like. Bare bones food/medical care/etc, leading to literally everyone he meets and of course his family and friends still in the Shire to go to Frodo to beg, plead with him.

One last adventure, because their grand adventure to save the world and destroy the ring changed Sam too, even if he never showed it as much. Don't let him go where no one else can follow, and bring him home.

Whether Frodo would or not was the bit that made me shelve the idea, bc I figured a lot of fans would not enjoy the potential avenue I was leaning towards, that he might hesitate only in that he isn't sure he can handle the journey himself.

That, and realising that the way my brain wanted to write it, it might well end with Frodo and Sam realising neither of them can bare to go back, and deciding to wander together until they'd either die or find elves sailing willing to take them to the Undying Lands.

-There's a whole bundle of Saints Row ideas, mostly Gat/Aisha/Boss and all fairly heavy in being AUs where Aisha lives and things go slightly differently for Gat in SR 3 &4 (I'd keep the aliens tho lmao, I want Aisha to get to go to space too dang it!!)

A lot of Gat realising that he keeps nearly losing the people closest to him that give him reason to live (Aisha and the Boss, tho of course the rest of the Saints as well to a slightly lesser extent), but that he doesn't know how to be anything else for them. He's a living weapon many a time, and is genuinely happy that way, but knows that it puts them in danger because he tends to always escalate things, even when later he can admit maybe shooting a motherfucker in the face over a Costco discount was actually not the best way to solve that issue. However, ultimately, The Boss can't seem to live any other way either, and he's accepted that he's at his happiest when he has both of them in his life, so he can't just up and cut with Aisha to a random suburb and leave the Boss behind. And Aisha, despite her contempt for a lot of it, during one of their Big Talks would admit that even if she dislikes what they do, she does enjoy the lifestyle and knows Boss and Gat would be losing their minds trying to adjust to any other life.

On that note, that's also a fic idea I'll probably never write for them lol, where they go straight and move away to somewhere entirely new with Gat and the Boss having to get actual 8-5 jobs (and maybe something remote for Aisha bc I know it would still be risky for her to ever leave the house but. Goddamn let her do something!! Talk to some other ppl!!!) and just. It's not going to last and they know it won't, all three of them, but they're also three of the stubbornest fucking people alive so. When it ends, it'll go up in flames for everyone around them until they're living in a way they find satisfying again.

8. What project(s) are you currently working on?

Somehow too many and not enough at the same time. That is, I'm having a lot of percolating ideas for new things and ways to continue current drafts for a few different fandoms, but none of it is making it down onto paper (without being deleted two minutes later at least lol.)

That said, a couple draft examples:

-an OFMD S2 fix it gentlebeard POV, Stede specifically, wherein the crew comes to visit and be their first official guests and it's...a lot for them. They both already feel the place isn't fixed up enough and then the crew comes in all jovial and essentially as one big happy polycule w/arms full of loot (actually gifts for Ed & Stede that are indeed looted, but my two lil goofballs gotta have their emotional moments before they get that info and realise that the crew isn't just trying to show off & make them feel shit for staying on land.)

This one is actually done and ends happily w/some actual communication between everyone involved, but it sits unpublished bc I think it might be too saccharine (also every time I dare to write for Ed/Stede I get shouted at even if they claim they liked it so. not exactly eager to court that reaction again even if I have anon off on everything lmao)

-May have already talked abt this in prior days but, a Frenchie/Ed s2 au in which Frenchie convinces Ed to let everyone else go, so long as Frenchie agrees to stay with him as his new first mate (read: his new Izzy bc while Izzy is v alive in this, he's also hidden away until Ed and Frenchie leave the Revenge lol.)

I haven't decided on a final avenue yet for this, but right now have been playing w/: Frenchie & Ed operating as a two man wrecking crew while they gather new crew and a new ship, meanwhile Jim, Archie, Fang, and Izzy are working to find Stede and everyone else to tell them how Frenchie has essentially given himself a suicide mission, and even if they agreed to it so they could initially get away, they sure as fuck aren't going to let him or Ed die as a result of all of this. Cut to them having some silly fumbling reunion (literal list of ideas for this, they're all not great, trust me when I say this bit needs more work yet lol), then following the trail of blood, bodies, and tears to find Frenchie and Ed. Who, during all of this, are actually having some meaningful and approaching healthier conversations abt their traumas and have gotten closer during them. A lot closer. Very close. And it's not an issue of monogamy; they make clear at the start with each other that this might not have any legs outside of their current situation, and they both know that Stede probably won't care, and they've both been fucking Izzy so they know he definitely doesn't care (and has told them as much more than once after noticing them Noticing each other.) Their fear is that it will, and that what they both want isn't compatible (Frenchie knows they can't sail forever, but he'd rather die at sea. Ed, after struggling with it, admits that he's still not entirely sure if land or sea is best for him. But he does feel like he has to choose one over the other.) And what the fuck are they gonna do then? Because if that's the case and it ends what they have on every level, that'll mark yet another failure for them in both of their brains, and they're both entirely too fragile for that to happen, it'll be the crack that shatters Ed and splits the Box of Trauma in Frenchie's brain even wider open. But they do have love for each other, and can't ignore that either.

14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?

Oh man. I'm gonna be selfish and give myself two bc I can't decide for sure between them and the first one is entirely too selfish a choice on its own on top of that but

Dancer and/or All For Myself (even tho it isn't finished, I know, I know!!! I always want it badly to be finished. That's still my game plan for this one, I swear!)

Like, Taron probably wants nothing to do with the Kingsman stuff anymore, absolutely valid. But my god seeing Dancer as a full movie or extended series or something would be amazing. It's not everyone's cup of tea for many reasons and I understand why, but I worked so hard on that lil fucker. I'm so proud of it. It's one of the few that I think, if I got the opportunity, I could edit and change up enough to sell as just above direct to dvd level movie script. I can't describe how it felt writing it; it was a particular feeling and magic I have not recaptured since writing this fucking fic lmao (still chasing it tho!)

The second one is just because I like seeing Con and Samba together and they seem to have fun and both enjoy the concept of rizzy so like. If in some universe where incredibly unlikely things actually happen, they came to me and asked for finished script version of AFM, y'all would not see me for ages bc I would lock myself down until I had it done. I'm talking living off of red bull and edibles and whatever snacks I remember to cram in my face-fueled writing, coming out the other end in need of a shower, actual food, sleep, but holding a beautifully shining script. I've done it before, and I would happily do it again for them lol. Plus, it would involve filming locally, and I just think that would be cool to do, to showcase the area. Lots of very cool and pretty filming locations, beach days...idk, I'd be happy to come along for every day of it and just do shit to help out. Pay me if you can/want, but I'm just happy to be there to see the process.

Thank you again for asking, as you can tell I had a good time and it was lovely to get to gush abt all of this for a bit!!!

#text post #ask box things #long post

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gordonfreemanreal · 1 year

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my thoughts abt the pizzatower thing: (under readmore cause its looong)

honestly i didn't think my doc pointing out that some screenshots were like not good evidence for mcpig's wrongdoings would blow up that much. esp to the point where the original callout poster and their friends would like start harassing me (they have literally contacted other users to forward messages to me in order to bypass my block. lol)

like i don't care that much but it's tiring. i'm just here to have fun and some people are like fucking insane on this internet.

it's especially weird that some people made a huge thing abt sixdearcs age when we are Literally the same age. I am not "accusing them of being a pedophile". I never said they were that lol and I don't believe that they are.

i don't think they deserved to get ran off the internet like that (if you went and started harassing them because of my post fuck you. you're literally contributing to nothing) but also they keep reaching out to SO MANY PEOPLE talking about it that i'm just like. my god. pls let ur controversy die for your own sake.

my doc is JUST about discussing sixdearcs' bad screenshots. I don't want to entrench myself in all of the smaller pieces of discourse of pizza tower. ESPECIALLY since I'm not indigenous or jewish (i'm not white tho don't take it the wrong way). I just don't think I could add anything other than "yeah this is bad. pirate the game or don't interact w it" which is what EVERYONE says. so it'd just be a moot point.

I'm not deleting the post or w/e lol i'm not like that but just like be chill in the tags. I can see all of the shit yall say and i'm human. sixdearcs is human.

roast mcpig and sauceman all the fuck you want tho they suuuck. free reign on that.

okay rant over love and light

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baahsu · 8 months

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omg hi baah itsa me J.J :] anyways WHY is writing like an actual fanfic so HARD?? whenever i do hcs/ficlets shit comes so easy but the second i gotta formulate my word vomit into actual musings?? brain go THUNK. also the fact that i elected to write this from ichijs pov (the. the hardest sib for me to write for.) is NOT helping 😭😭 first 1k is just him being melodramatic and very sad as fuck

anyways i didnt just come into your box to yell-- heres some food. and also my hesitant attempt to see what reiju would be like as anything but a dom bc ive been curious abt it:

so whenever reiju loosens her dominatrix reigns a bit niji brings out a bit of tha whore in her and she loves it :) (but also a situation like this happens SPECIFICALLY and ONLY post wci/germa cover story bc i feel like reiju would soften up on niji and yonji a bit after they showed genuine concern for her when she was in danger during wci and also bc they were literally kidnapped and presumably tortured by the Charlottes in 'emotionless excursion') this is a hill i choose to die on

like theyd just be chillin in bed together doing nothin in particular, vibing in each others presence, and suddenly niji begins running his hand up and down reijus thigh and at first shes like "aw affection attempt how cute :]" but then his hand starts moving more and more inwards and she goes *"ah."*

they dont even have to say anything bc its just an all around safe, chill environment all while nijis hand keeps moving up until it's slipped under reijus dress and underwear (if she was even wearing any underwear in the first place 👁👁)

during all this they fr just stay where they are and continue what theyve been doing this whole time, the only difference being niji now fingering reiju and she just relaxing back into a pillow and sighing happily about it

ofc after she came (niji definitely didnt send out little electric sparks on her clit periodically to make sure she squirted and was overstimulated nooo i dont know what your talking about 🙂🙂) she turned to him and said smthn like

"youre getting tied up for that later."

and niji (with his fingers in his mouth bc. yk 👁) gives a muffled sarcastic reply of "fine, whatever. why dont you invite ichiji and yonji to watch while you're at it."

and reiju just chuckles bc like. thats not really a bad idea :]]

WOWOWO sorry for all the reiju spam recently bc i know you prioritize 1234ji together over her but shes been rotting my brain sm lately its crazy. i love my wif e :,]

J.J HELLO

Don't get me started at how words just stop wording when you try to write fics because that's definitely I thing and it's frustrating. A fic from ichiji's pov tho?? With possibly going through it and feeling feelings??? Yes pls??????

Now, while you're write about me kinda preferring 1234ji together I have to say this dynamic between niji and reiju is so tasty 🤌 I love reiju having a soft spot for him (and yonji too (and also ichiji bc why not lol)) and just letting him touch her as he pleases. It's also endearing how he started slow and soft, like, he was really trying to be a good boy and not rush things

THE BEST PART THO, NIJI USING HIS POWERS??? TO MAKE HER CUM LIKE SHE DESERVES?? WE LOVE A MAN THAT KNOWS HOW TO DO THEIR JOB. Damn I never thought of that but that's a perfect use of his abilities, I can imagine reiju trained him to do just the right amount so he wouldn't overstimulate her, but he felt daring this time and took it up a notch. And you can't convince me he wasn't considering he'd be punished for it later, he knows reiju and knows that her letting loose and relequishing control like this would come with a price later)

And of course he told her to invite ichiji and yonji on purpose too, there's no way he didn't!! He's a whore after all 😌

#vinsmokecest

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multiwreckedmess · 1 year

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Ateez 18+ Would You Rathers from @whatudowhennooneseesyou

I've seen others who have been tagging and posting but they also seem like great jumping off points and let's be honest i'm still pretty small and isolated on here (because i'm shyyyyyyyy) so errr...i just did it myself. If you want to tag folks go ahead but i'm choosing to not tag anyone and leave it open for those who want to participate!

Don't open if you don't wanna know my personal preferences. Also pls MINORS DNI. these are obviously all 18+ questions and while I cannot control what you read on the internet I would ask that you respect my boundaries and not interact thank you!

1. make out with yeosang or dry hump yunho?

— make out with yeosang. There are merits to both but yeo wins out for me simply on strength alone. He would cling on like nothing else and to feel someone that strong hold onto you while you wind each other up? Shiver.

2. give mingi a lap dance or have wooyoung do a sexy dance for you?

— give mingi a lap dance. I think you could genuinely be an awful dancer and he’d still hype you up. Watching how he reacts to his group members sexy dancing on him confirms this to me. He wouldn’t be able to help himself if you were bad, holding your hips firmly and guiding you. Plus his nervous smile gives me the giggles.

3. tease san under the table at dinner or jongho tease you under the table?

— tease san. I’m a brat at heart and just watching his frustration and need build up, unable to be addressed? I can feel the devil horns sprouting. His little pressed smile when you ask him why he’s acting so strange, eyes flaring a little. Oh you’d be in for IT the second you are alone.

4. give hickeys to yeosang or get hickeys from seonghwa?

— get hickies from seonghwa. His lips are to die for. His tongue is to die for. Claiming in that way all over your body? It makes my brain go a little numb honestly. He’d chuckle as you squeal and wiggle, leaving a constellation of red marks. I think he’d be into leaving letters/doodles and making you guess afterward, gently tracing the pattern with his finger for you.

5. praise hongjoong or receive body worship from yunho?

— praise hongjoong. i'm...listen i hate myself too much the body worship would be goofy i'm just not vibing. but hongjoong? gg ez i'm there i'm worshiping and praising. the amount i want to just recite praises like scriptures is unholy.

6. blindfold mingi or be blindfolded by san?

— be blindfolded by san. He’s one of the few guys i trust. I’m obsessed with how soft he would be once you are blinded. The tiniest little fluttering kisses. His fingers ghosting over your shoulders all the way down to your hips. Now that San isn’t being watched it could allow him to drop any mask he may wear and appreciate the small moments more without having to perform. Plus i just think he’d moan so pretty when he doesn’t feel the need to act a certain way.

7. sexting with wooyoung or send dirty snaps to seonghwa?

— sexting with wooyoung. Unabashedly i think of this man as bestie who sometimes i’d like to rail and for the sheer chaos our sexts would be i want that. Plus i really REALLY cannot take dirty pictures i’m so fucking shy.

8. choke yeosang or be choked by jongho?

— be choked by jongho. Why do i feel like yeosang’s neck would rebuke being choked and fight back? Anyway lol. Jongho could end my whole life and i’d say thank you.

9. pull hongjoong’s hair or yunho pull your hair?

— both (hongjoong). Emphasis on the split dye ponytail hongjoong getting his hair pulled. Being in the studio straddling him as he tries to focus on ableton making miniscule timing adjustments and just giving it a tug down so he has no choice but to look up at you. But also damn, yunho’s large hands just palming the back of my skull giving it a sharp tug oh my LORD. (if I must must choose…fuck it i have no morals i’m a slut for hongjoong)

10. tie up wooyoung or jongho tie you up?

— jongho tie me up. I am not a dom. As pretty as woo would look…i can’t. Plus jongho would be very deliberate and intense about it and he’d make sure you looked really, really pretty.

11. beg for seonghwa or mingi beg for you?

— both (beg/seonghwa). Ohhhh the switch in me in SCREAMING. Seonghwa would make you beg until your lip was quivering all the while cooing and saying how cute you look. How pretty you are when you beg. How proud you make him when you are a polite little slut. Mingi begging? Have you seen his pout? He’s really a large wolf puppy. (If i absolutely must choose though…sorry i’m a sub and I gotta go for beg for seonghwa)

12. ride jongho’s thigh or sit on san’s face?

— ride jongho’s thigh. Have you seen them? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS THIGHS. They’re so muscular. That’s on PT post knee injury. I have no doubt when he flexes it

13. dirty talk with seonghwa or mingi?

— dirty talk with seonghwa. The man is into asmr, enough said. Like i think they’d be equally interesting dirty talkers but its the way seonghwa would do it. Inches from your ear, breath tickling your neck as it splays downwards. He’d let each word just drip so sinfully, using the bassiest register of his voice. There’d be a leisurely way to it that I think mingi might not have which draws me to him.

14. spank wooyoung or hongjoong?

— spank wooyoung. I just think he’d have more fun honestly. He’s such a little shit and also asks his members to spank him so like. Let’s go baby girl. I’d want hongjoong to spank me more than me spank him.

15. get spanked by jongho or yunho?

— yunho. I love my bear boys but i fear jongho might send me into next week. Yunho wouldn’t take it too seriously and it would almost be more playful and fun than a punishment which is an energy i really like in the bedroom.

16. deny san his orgasm or seonghwa deny you yours?

— seonghwa deny mine. I need affirmation too much to deny anyone anything. And seonghwa would praise you the entire time, again. “Just hold on a bit more” “that’s it, you’re doing so well my love” “oh shhh, shhh, it’s okay, almost there” “you’ve been so good so patient for me let me reward you”

17. have yeosang as a master or hongjoong as a pet?

— yeosang as a master. Having experienced prolonged intense eye contact with yeosang…. I’m sorry what was i saying? Also hongjoong would be better as a master…i should not be put in charge of any human. Anyway yeosang seems like he’d be so kind and would take a lot of interest in “training” you.

18. touch yourself and make yunho watch or mingi touch himself and make you watch?

— mingi. Did we not all experience this at the concert like…ANYWAY. I live for torturing myself. He’s so beautiful on stage it would be an honor and a privilege to watch him, head back and mouth agape with his chest rising and falling more and more rapidly. Oh my GOD it makes me sick i wanna see it so BADLY.

19. call hongjoong ‘daddy’ or seonghwa call you ‘mommy’?

— call hongjoong daddy. I would do damn near anything for this man including that nickname. Especially if he’ll be mean to me. It definitely seems like he wouldn’t ask you to call him daddy but it might slip out and once you’ve said it he won’t let you stop. It’s a small way of reassuring him that you are just as possessive about him as he is of you. In turn calling you his baby very pointedly (combined with your preferred gendered terms obvs) but always letting you know you are his.

20. receive aftercare from san or give aftercare to wooyoung?

— both (receive/san). Aftercare should happen for all parties after a scene in a way that they’ve agreed upon. Wooyoung would be so cuddly, just wrapping limbs over limbs over limbs and pressing his nose into your skin as you stroke his spine. San would love to get the opportunity to be the big ball of sentimental mush we all know he can be. Neither one would let you move an inch for different reasons. Wooyoung because he doesn’t want to be alone and San because he wants to take care of you. (If i have to choose one, it’s San because i am a princess)

21. skype sex with hongjoong or phone sex with yeosang?

— skype sex with hongjoong. I’ll be honest i think yeosang would space out during phone sex. He’d be so lost in the moment all you’d hear are his (admittedly beautiful) moans. Hongjoong is a menace. Hongjoong is a tease. Hongjoong would have you begging and pleading until the fucking camera is shaking. He might be a busy man but he always has time to put you in your place. Plus you KNOW he’d coach you through some actually beautiful camera angles so the shot would be lined up just perfectly to show you off to him.

22. one night stand with mingi or friends with benefits with wooyoung?

— one night stand with mingi. Let me be clear here and now. I would not want to date or even risk the rumors of dating any of these men. I’ve dated the most popular person in school before. I’ve lived through that sort of widespread hate. Never the fuck again. However i think of the idols wooyoung would be the MOST fun as a FWB. he just seems kinda down to have fun and i respect that immensely.

23. studio sex with hongjoong or practice room sex with yunho?

— studio sex with hongjoong. Oh my god tho both especially if they are frustrated. However hongjoong gets the lead here because there are too many mirrors and its too not private in the practice room. Also the lighting in a practice room is so harsh holy shit. Fucking joong in his studio, with the lights low, an instrumental he’s fine tuning stuck on a loop softly playing through his headphones. Especially if its sound dampening so you can let loose a little? He’d be a little on edge and demanding. “I’m too tired, fuck yourself on me” “gosh do i have to do everything?” “fuck some day i’m going to put these moans in the song, just for us.” “oh now we’re going to REALLY test the soundproofing”

24. receive nudes from seonghwa or a sexy video from san?

— both please i’ve been very good this year (nudes/seonghwa). San depends on how he takes the “sexy video” assignment. If he tries to sexy dance…well we know he CAN do it but he never takes himself seriously with it off stage and usually ends up laughing cutely. BUT San…audio…with those early morning groans he does oh my lord. Like in the forbidden woosan vlive. Seonghwa however is a selfie king. You know those nudes are going to be black and white in perfect lighting and tbh probably tasteful. Like justtttt hiding the goods. And i really appreciate an artist you know.

25. cowgirl position with jongho or doggystyle position with yeosang?

— cowgirl with jongho. I’d want to see yeosang too much for doggystyle with him. Jongho is strong enough that even under you he’d control everything, just granting you the illusion that you hold power before he grabs your hips and shows you who really runs things in the bedroom.

26. hot tub sex with mingi or shower sex with yunho?

— neither (shower/yunho). Spoilers, water is a poor lubricant. I’ve tried both and liked neither. Hot tub sex is better for cockwarming which i’d love to do with mingi but also you just…overheat really fast. shower sex is easier for clean up but slippery as hell. Maybe a shower blowjob/titjob would work best with yunho. If i have to choose it’s shower sex.

27. give oral to yeosang or receive oral from san?

— oral to yeosang. It’s what he deserves. He’s good at reacting and there is nothing more that i like than praise even if it isn’t full words. And you KNOW he’d make the most dreamy breathy sounds.

28. seonghwa cum in your mouth or wooyoung cum on your face?

— seonghwa cum in my mouth. Listen he can honestly do whatever he wants with me okay.

29. car sex with san or sex under the stars with yeosang?

— neither(car/san). These both are logistic nightmares to me. Both are too public, one is too cramped the other like…have ya’ll slept on the ground before? It’s not comfortable. In either case you’ll end up with weird bruises! I think car sex though despite being cramped you could figure out a way around it best? Or i could. Pulled over on some dirt road. San has your ass half way out of the backseat while he pounds into you, gripping the frame of the car for leverage. The entire car rocking and squeaking with each punishing thrust, kicking up a fine sheen of dust.

30. take mingi’s virginity or yunho take yours?

— yunho take yours. Sooooooooooooo i’m not…one of thoooooseeeee and honestly i find the whole focus on virginity a little strange but. Yunho size training. I’m a monstercock!yungi believer and while mingi seems clumsy about it yunho fucking knows. Yunho knows he’s big and he likes it. Yunho who coaches his partner so sweetly through stretching out for him all the while knowing nothing will compare to the real thing. He’d sink into you so slowly, caressing your face and making sure you're in as little pain as possible all the while laying praise on you for taking him so well.

31. library sex with wooyoung or movie theatre handjob with yeosang?

— library sex with wooyoung. I know i’m not good at handjobs. Plus both wooyoung and i are loud as fuck so it would be fun to have to remind eachother every two seconds to keep quiet. Again its less about sexy sex and it would be cute funny sex.

32. lazy morning sex with yunho or late night sex with jongho?

— lazy morning sex with yunho. I can already see it. Big sleepy bear nuzzling against your neck, morning wood grinding into the cleft of your ass. Still a little sore from the night before but still slick with the remnants of his release he’d ease into you with a quiet groan and rock the two of you together. Cumming into you again with his forehead pressed between your shoulder blades.

33. wear a collar for seonghwa or san wear a collar for you?

— wear a collar for seonghwa. Gg ez the man owns me already why not make it official

34. rough sex with hongjoong or romantic sex with jongho?

— rough sex with hongjoong. PLEASE GOD ARE YOU LISTENING ITS ME ANNY AND IF THERE IS ONE THING IMMA DO IT’S BE A SLUT FOR HONGJOONG. Truly use me as a toy you want to break sir. I’m simply a broken tv in a wrecking room for you to put a sledgehammer through at the end of a long difficult day. Whatever complex he needs to work out, i will be there.

35. receive anal from seonghwa or give anal to mingi?

— neither(receive/seonghwa). Its not my first or second choice of hole or really even third. That said i have even less interest in giving.

36. suck on yunho’s fingers or san suck on your fingers?

— suck on yunho’s fingers. He could give me a hand kink for real. He has such long lovely fingers. Plus again the training aspect, teaching you how to take his fingers before you take his cock.

37. wall sex with jongho or mirror sex with wooyoung?

— wall sex with jongho. In the name of halazia nail me to that plaster amen. He has powerful legs and an equally powerful demeanour.

38. hongjoong finger you or give yeosang a handjob?

— hongjoong finger me. Again, i’m not a handjob enthusiast so by default goes to finger.

39. overstimulate mingi or be overstimulated by wooyoung?

— both. Wooyoung would be so cocky. He’s number one unconcerned when tears start running down your face. You could fully curse him out and he’d love it. He’d turn any insult you hurled right back on you. “Didn’t you say you’d last longer than me” “i thought you said i was a useless brat? How about now? Still think i’m a useless brat?”

40. woosan threesome or seongjoong threesome?

— woosan. This is a surprise maybe? Really a threesome with any of the pairings of ateez i’d absolutely be 2000% down. But i think in terms of sheer fun, woosan would be it. Woosan are just SO comfortable with each other and still competitive. You see it especially in their partnered dance moments no matter how dominant san might come off wooyoung matches the energy. Plus idk suddenly i’m very into the idea of how San would be with two subs. Or if Woo’s bratty energy would turn into a more dommy energy with San there.

#ateez hard hours #ateez hard thoughts #ateez scenarios #ateez would you rather

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