#pls holy shit i am b egging

[abiik]

i just think. i should be allowed to sleep

#h talks. #pls holy shit i am b egging #im on my fucking knees #four hours ive been trying for four hours #& NOTHING n o t h i n g #im so TIRED #i was like oh yeah ill just lay down early get a nap or smthn in & just idk do work later #but nope. i havent EVEN BEEN ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP #AND EVEN IF I WAS DOING WORK RN I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO FOCUS #ive SET my phone down. I HAVENT LOOKED AT IT #AND I STILL CANT SLEEP #i wanna cry #im def crying #im #vent #negative / #jic

[swordplease]

there's rly weird discourse around bi ppl calling themselves gay and speaking as a bi person, I tend to use the word gay when I'm experiencing same sex attraction like I do look at women and think holy shit I'm so gay I just... love women. I don't look at women and think wow! I really love men and also women too. Men aren't always on my mind. Some days it's I feel very attracted to men and some days it's I'm very attracted to women. At the same time it's weird to be like yes I am having very many Straight feelings today, for some reason that feels odd... even though it could be an accurate description. But I'm not straight, and I'm not "gay but also straight" or "half gay half straight" that description it's very uncomfortable for me because A. It fluctuates and B. It's its own identity . I can see where the discourse comes from tbh because calling yourself gay when you're bi can be disrespectful and misleading? Also if you're using it for feelings (aka wow I feel so gay today/I'm so gay for her) is that disrespectful to the gay identity? This post started as me defending myself and now it devolved into I do not know how to describe my feelings other than gay because yes I feel homosexual feelings they're not necessarily "bi" feelings idk pls don't come at me with the gremlins I'm just trying to live my bi life? Maybe the confusion has something to do with how like we have words for identifying same sex attraction and words for experiencing like multiple sex attraction but not really at once eg "gay feelings" but "bisexual feelings" seems odd. Because we identify as experiencing multiple attractions but not necessarily in the same moment so therefore it becomes confusing when using the word to describe the attraction. This was long but I think that is my thoughts on the matter as a bi person

#it doesn't help that ppl keep finding reasons to hate bi ppl #I am not trying to minimize anyone else's struggles I realize this is a niche issue !! #gay #bi #lesbian #bisexuality #long post #discourse #personal