#pls ignore how badly it's edited idk how to edit

[donnabenevientosimpingzone]

Hey! Now that you’re back I wanted to ask about Resident Lover? I remember you were on the team- but then the game came out and your name wasn’t on the dev list... what happened?

I can’t escape this question can I- and for those of you who messaged me, I did delete them in hopes of avoiding this- but I don’t want rumours to spread so lemme be transparent.

Also pls read this for how I’m handling coming back to this blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/741337986608873472/complex-feelings-and-absolute-pandemonium-about-my

No, I wasn’t kicked off the team, nor was I invited back when I left- and they made the right choice doing that. I was not mentally stable. I didn’t take the project seriously, I had jealousy issues, and didn’t take criticism well- I self destructed badly- blew up and burned that bridge to ashes, not to mention what sorta hurt I caused the team.

It did hurt a lot when I saw the game release. I was so upset, and spent so many weeks thinking about “what if I didn’t fuck up”. But there are no “what ifs” in history, we are meant to go through what we do in order to become the best versions of ourselves. The whole ordeal was part of the last push I needed to finally seek professional help. And the fact it still hurts whenever I see it around means I still care and carry guilt about everything that happened.

I’m practicing exposure therapy to try and heal that gaping wound. RE8 has turned my life completely on its head and I don’t want to abandon it- the best outcome will be the day I can download and play the game and find it within myself to genuinely love it with no more wounds to lick- but for now I’m content with seeing it float around every once in a while on my dash.

Out of respect- I hope none of you will pester the devs about this either. They did something amazing, and I’m so proud of what they’ve accomplished. Out of all of them I really miss MJ. They were the best, most hilarious friend- I always thought they were super attractive- and the whole reason the game was possible. Show them some love- idk message them “you’re cool!” for me or something. Anon ask if you have to. Don’t tell them I’m the one who sent you- I think it’ll be funny to just have a whole buncha people messaging them outta nowhere bahaha

And with that I hope this clears it up and stops people from messaging anymore about it. It’s still a sensitive wound I’m working to heal and I’d like to do it at my own pace<3 I don’t regret the experience, I’m in such a better place now because of it. I would love to make peace with my past self and accept the pain as a part of growing.

Until then enjoy me going back to my usual shenanigans before all the shit hit the fan. I’m very excited to draw more Spider Donna and Beneviento Sisters, I hope y’all enjoy it too<3

Update edit: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737803172475781120/stupid-lil-update-i-wanna-do-as-per-my-pinned

Update! https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/737980137572892672/people-who-knowknew-me-personally-probably-arent

Update that shows old sprite: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/738487941680316416/want-me-as-a-professor-okay-damn-ignore-the

Update where I rant about Angie and Daniela with a cat: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/740499151828156416/can-we-see-the-png-of-the-angie-sprite-holding-a

Update about the dangie ask on the RL blog: https://www.tumblr.com/donnabenevientosimpingzone/742312364040454144/hey-just-a-heads-up-that-the-rl-team-recently

#ask #I’m not tagging this because the team moved on without me #and I’m happy they did #don’t want to open old wounds #so please #don’t bother them about this #I’m just tired of people messaging me and I knew I couldn’t stay quiet forever or else shit will hit the fan #been on the internet enough to know that wheeze #they’re all very good people and I miss them dearly #I’m so thankful for this experience even if I didn’t see it to the end #I THINK THE TEAM ACTUALLY HAS ME BLOCKED SO IM PINNING THIS TO GET PEOPLE TO STOP MESSAGING ME CUZ YES I STILL AM GETTING SOME

[my-fall-from-grace]

every single time there's drama on twitter, this is what mcytblr feels like its doing with mcyttwt refugees

#pspsppsp #come here #be safe #mcyttwt #dsmp #also i know exactly how ironic it is that this ss has jschlatt and i know exactly what i'm doing #i'm pulling a tommyinnit pro gamer move #also this is all /j #discourse? maybe? #pls ignore how badly it's edited idk how to edit

[buntholomeau]

bleh

#ignore me i just need to yell #irritated irritated irritated left and right today #idk why my mood sank SO badly when I got off work it was luke a flip switched and i feel all scratchy inside #like idk how to explain the internal feeling of like. a bunch of hands clawing at my insides and scrabbling at my brain #my thoughts just border on incoherent and eventually they turn into white noise and it makes me want to cry #sometimes even my tinnitus acts up #is it anxiety?? depression?? ADHD?? ocd?? some other mental thing?? who fucking knows because my insurance is shit #so i cant see a fucking doctor and figure anything OUT #all i know is that when something is fucky i go hahaha. im in danger. #puts my head down #I just want. peace. thats all i want #to my followers im so sorry pls just ignore me if youve read this far I'll be okay #edit: A FLIP SWITCHED?? I CANT EVEN TYPE COHERENTLY

[lacertae-dreamscape]

I love u pls teach me how to write I want to start but idk how to put ideas into words

honestly the first thing is just... write, u know?

it seems trite and stupid logic suggestion, but. if you don't start, u never do anything with it.

put your idea down in whatever way you want -prose, poetry, etc- and then work on it. polish it with more words and details, colour it with gentle brushes and its ok if its not satisfying. that's what trying again is for. you take what you've written and rework it. (god. edit. edit 10 times. add things. remove things. look up things on the internet for inspo. do ALL the things. unapologetically.)

but also don't do it like me where i start with a basic idea and then build an entire novel on it bcs im too verbose

build on your words, experiment, abandon what doesn't work and try again. like neil gaiman said once, 'just write'

then, if it feels better for you, write for yourself. and i dont (just) mean 'haha ignore other people and just write what u want' that. can work a lot of the times but if you are like me and crave feedback, it doesn't *quite* help. part of u will always write for others too.

what i mean is: when i started writing, i didn't publish things. i did super self indulgent shit like every other teen writer out there by doing, wait for it, mary sue fics and self inserts. *FOR YEARS*

i wrote pokémon fanfics and animorphs fanfics without at the time knowing it was 'fanfic' (bless sheltered mini-me for being like 'i wanna write me inside the animorphs' and not realising it had a name bcs i was completely abstracted from the concept of a fandom)

it was easier because there was a constant script to follow (hi. my name is [name]. i cannot tell you my surname, because aliens will find me, and everything will end. [here's a description of what happens in the general plot, who are our enemies, who are our alllies, who i am, and then the story starts, and it goes from there) so i found it easy to get into it, bcs the rules were easier. now i abhor first person stories but back then it was normal and i liked them.

and i would probably die of shame and embarrassmnt if anyone were to find the actual *papers* i wrote it on, or after that, the pc files i wrote, but ive grown enough at least to be able to admit i did it.

nobody will ever ever ever EVER catch a single whiff of that. its done and gone. for my eyes only. cringe shit. i wrote my version of entire animorphs books of fanfics.

YET. that cringe shit motivated the fuck out of me, esp in a period where i was already sad and stressed and anxious. was it badly written? u BET. but i was RLY into writing it. it was fun. it was indulgent.

this allows you to write whatever the fuck you want without fear of people judging or nosing around in your business, and it lets u explore and try things out in a way that makes it fun.

i started posting in my first fandom (haha it was beyblade. no judgement, i missed all the big serious fandoms by 10 miles and 10 inches) and looking back it was pure shit. i was the specific 'god this person uses the thesaurus too much' bcs i wasn't native english speaker, so i did a lot of grammar mistakes

yet there were people who in that fandom looked out and reached out for me with nice comments and it helped me thrive, even if the fic was shit. it helped me feel like it was ok to continue.

i feel a lot of fandoms now miss that delicate feeling of 'helping this writer out even if they're not good' because nowadays most fandoms don't actively comment on fanfic in general, unless ur in one of the big fandoms, so its hard to feel motivated to continue, but writing takes time

so you have to start now in order to build urself a base to stand on.

another suggestion is, from a person who went through it over time, find people who enjoy your ideas with whom you can talk it out, and expand them. start putting down ur idea as it is, like 'so i had this idea that i wanna write and its like. just character A standing on top of a hill, reaching out for character B who is grappling at the edge and about to fall, and i want them to look at one another with despair and urgency and then A's hand slips and B lets go- and i want to write what happens next but im not sure' and have someone go 'do u want B to die so u explore that, or do u want B to go through some shit but with a happy ending' and u move from there.

you have no idea how many times ive been saved simply by talking plot out w others to fix some shit.

also something neil gaiman said is that if a friend tells u something needs fixing they're right, but if they detail to you exactly *what* needs fixing and how, they're wrong. people can help you, but the writing is yours. u feel it in ur heart, even if it takes a bit, ok?

there's no big, secret way to write, except take inspo from writers u enjoy reading from (both published or not) and find your own way. do you like writing dialogue more? do you like descriptions?

find something u RLY RLY like and write that thing, obsessively, and without shame, until you're satisfied.

if you really want to start writing, if it calls for you, nothing can stop you, except starting. so give the middle finger to that big hesitance and throw urself into it.

so what i meant is, tl;dr = if you want to write, start writing. close ur ears to everybody else and throw words down. the editing will come later, adding and polishing will come later. even if what you write is simple and barren, you work on it 10, 30 times and add to it. take inspiration from what writers you like wrote, their styles, the way they word things, experiment, find friends to talk it out, and go for it. i believe in you, and in the kind of person you want to become. if u truly *want* to write, u don't need to start strong or be awesome right away, u just need to want it enough to continue through.

#fran talks #nice anons #writing #long post #also look up for forums or sites with people writing #like NANOWRIMO #zero expectations but a lot of willingness to help aspiring authors write #it's how i wrote my first original book! #i had been putting it off for years and then without even an idea of what i was doing #i started nanowrimo #took me 2 of them but i wrote an entire 100k original story to then spend years editing it to my satisfaction #it's not there yet even #but u know #at least its out of my head #once its on paper be it physical or digital #it's out and it feels different #u made it its real #sorry if this was mostly a rant but anon. i support u 100% #writing now feels like home to me and even then its hard but it feels good. i wish u to have this homey feeling too

[hobbitsetal]

All of the ones you haven’t answered for the WIP asks because I like to annoy you and can’t read the numbers you’ve answered so this is easier on me :)

let’s just knock this out, shall we? XD

What made you write your WIP? i had a scene and a character in my head and i wanted to write it, and then it kept going and now i have 500 pages and no end in sight. (pls help.)

How long have you been working on your WIP? 3 and 1/2 years? pretty sure it was October 2016 when i started

How has the WIP changed between starting it and where it is now? ooh, well i actually have the world developed! i have an idea of what i’m doing, i know the characters and backstories--let’s be real, when i started, i had “girl clocks dude with a shovel, dude can’t talk” and nothing more, so everything since then has been a change.

What came first, the title or the plot? definitely the title, i’m still iffy on the plot.

Where did you draw inspiration from? answered!

Is your WIP part of a series or standalone?

hm. good question. it’s standalone, but it’s part of a universe and some of the characters may show up or will, at the least, get mentioned elsewhere.

What genre is your WIP in?

fantasy

When creating the characters for your WIP, what came first to you?

mute guy, but i develop characters as i write, so everybody’s been a pleasant surprise at one point or another.

Who is your favourite character to write?

at this point, it may be Cahan. he’s a fun mix of sweet and exasperated.

Do you have an outline? Do you stick to it?

answered!

How do you structure your plot?

badly. i have no structure.

What part is the hardest to write in your WIP?

the next part.

Are there scenes that you cut already?

oh yeah; there was one scene that almost turned into a brawl between Cahan and Luka, but it was rather ooc for both of them, so that got cut.

Tell us about an upcoming scene in your WIP, that you’re excited about.

Rhys gets angrily defensive of his brother for a hot second.

Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

answered!

Give a spoiler for your WIP.

the bad guy dies :)

Post the last line you wrote in your WIP

“He wiped away everything he’d written and simply wrote, What are your reservations?”

Give a brief character description of your main characters.

HECK, i’m bad at brief. okay, Cahan Windlow: the titular mute character. self-sacrificing leader with a great sense of humor, a strong sense of morality, and the willingness to make the hard choice. Priya Baltien: the girl who hits him with a shovel. sweet, naive young herbalist slowly learning the world is bigger and darker than she ever dreamed and life is full of more shades of grey than she had thought.

Do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

nope. on the bright side, i do know now!

What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

answered!

What’s a common writing tip that you mostly ignore?

anything to do with outlining on any level.

How many projects do you usually have going at once?

...well. it depends on the day. 2-3, and by 2-3 i mean one i’m working on while i desperately ignore the others and pretend i haven’t started something i need to finish.

What’s more important: characters or plot?

for me personally, characters. i’ll form the plot around them.

Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

so many. so so many. usually a lack of story, sometimes a lack of world-building to help me create the story, frequently just hit the point of “and then what?” and could never answer that question.

What authors and books have inspired you to write your work?

answered!

What is the worst writing advice in your opinion?

anything that insists it is The Only Right Way. the right way is what works for you and different people have different creative needs.

What is the best writing advice?

mine. jk, i think the only one i’m hard and fast on is “read a lot, write a lot.” the more you read, the better you can understand what makes a good story. even if you can’t articulate it, if it’s soaked into you, it’ll affect your writing. and the more you write, the better you’ll get at it.

Are you planning on publishing your WIP? If so, how?

Lord willing! idk yet; i like the idea of finding an indie publisher as a happy medium between self-pub and a big company. i don’t think i have the marketing skills required to self-pub and i don’t want to get locked into a faceless corporation. but i’m not there yet, so i’m not worrying too hard about it yet. 

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

finishing Mute i’m hoping that i’ll have one book done and edited and maybe published and that i’ll still be working in blissful chaos, with three different stories i’m chasing down and a dozen more ideas simmering in the back of my mind.

thanks, precious!!

[peterjonesparker]

Are you going to continue that Peter x Michelle fic with the coupon booklet? I really really like it and their dynamic is pretty accurate I think. If you do, no pressure of course but if you do continue it I would love to see Peter eat out Michelle

hey! i am going to continue it! sorry it’s always on hiatus :o i’m really bad at like…organizing my life when i’ve got school/work. i thought i would have time after school ended but i had a week of break and i didn’t realize how much time i would need to decompress. and work’s been super hectic the last two weeks and just getting things in order for the rest of the summer. so life is just…idk, i’m SO bad at adulting and it’s becoming very apparent that i don’t have any of my shit together.

that saID, i do have a general outline of the rest of the fic! i think it’s only gonna be three more chapters and oh boy are they really gonna be in for a ride. (don’t expect a lotta angst from me tho haha. minimal angst. i’m so bad at outlining. esp bc the driving idea behind this fic was just…what if they had sex but were dumb about it?) i’ve also got some of the next chapter written out but just need to find time to sit down n fucken write it, ya know?

but i feel badly for the wait i’m giving y’all always so if you wanna dm me, i can send you what i have written for the next chapter or my outline to like…tide you over or something ahaha. i also like the idea of short fics so if you wanna send me like…a drabble prompt, i can write u like 30 words or something haha. mini fics! bc i feel so badly :o so sorry guys. i really am.

(as for peter eating pussy, i see u and i’ll try to give u what u want)

edit: also omg my entire blog is basically a queue but i don’t tag it so pls know that i genuinely am busy and not ignoring y’all and your valid requests that i write the fic ahaha

#ask #anon #i am so sorry #Anonymous

[cometkins]

OC Asks: Silver Edition

I need to figure this character out pls hold while I fill out 50 oc questions

What is your OC’s favorite color?

It is definitely NOT silver what would make you think that

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

Silver jewelry primarily. It’s the only really indulgent thing he has.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

With his luck it would be a spice of some kind like cumin.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

As little/exposing as possible. He doesn’t wear a shirt and his coat has no sleeves anymore. His pants are pretty baggy and they have laces on the sides that he also leaves fairly loose to show of the leggies. He does wear pretty sturdy boots though.

What is your OC’s first memory?

Sitting by the ocean near his house and collecting sea glass.

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

Favorite is probably sea turtle bc they’re gentle friends. Least favorite is SEAGULLS. HMM. STOP IT NOW.

What element would your OC be?

Water for sure, maybe fire.

What is your OC’s theme song? 

Fucked with an Anchor by Alestorm

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC?

I draw his face myself so no face claim. I’ve liked the lead singer for Black Veil Brides as his voice (though not his accent) since it’s so husky

What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

Pride or Wrath

What are your OC’s hobbies?

In his free time Silver prob goes to flea markets and shops to collect silver trinkets. He prob goes in combat arenas to train himself and earn coin as well.

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

He’s less patient than he used to be, but he’s not super impulsive. He’s much more calculating, and he thinks through the consequences of his actions. He has little patience when it comes to nobility and royalty though.

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

Male, very gay, wood elf.

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

He likes fruit, he likes curries and other spiced/spicy dishes. I think he actually can’t stand fish because he has to eat so much of it out at sea and it’s tiring.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

Probably a big dog since he likes having a travelling companion.

What does your OC smell like? 

Probably rum, the ocean, salt, and gunpowder.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

Silver probably most does mercenary work or goes into fighting rings now that he’s a solo pirate. He might nick coin here or there from wealthy people with too much. He’d probably be happy captaining his own ship again eventually.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

His greatest fear is being found by Captain Ansaf and facing his wrath for his past theft. Silver is extremely skilled in combat and is VERY good in combat due to a background of military training and the ruthless nature of pirates. His greatest weakness is also that ruthlessness; he tends to get caught up in violence and finds it difficult to stop once he gets going, almost like a trance.

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

I think any kind of shanty he’s fond of since he and the crews he was on would sing them a lot. Anything upbeat really.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

Assuming he’d be in roughly the same time period pirates were around I think he’d adjust just fine to a world without magic and krakens trying to kill him lmao

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

Silver is still very hurt by the sentence he received for a crime he did not commit. It lead him to his life of crime, and then to his life of solitude. He clings to his past in the form of objects he still carries. Nobility makes him angry, and he’s keen to flee from a beau if they express wanting commitment. His biggest pet peeve is authority treating their subjects like trash.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

Silver was actually very studious in school. He wasn’t the smartest, but he managed and studied as hard as he could.

What is a random fact about your OC? 

Silver is not his real name.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

Silver is very much a “do shit and have fun before you die” kind of person in his current character. He doesn’t particularly take care of himself well and he’s definitely more about living fast and hard and passionately and without remorse, but he very much is full of remorse and regret.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I wanted a pirate character an started with a swashbuckler rogue since that was the recommendation from the dnd community. I tacked on the gunslinger subclass from matt mercer since pirates also had guns and it was fitting. Silver’s personality hasn’t changed much but his design has been refined and made more ostentatious than it was.

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

The most and least impactful person are the same, because they are the reason they turned to piracy. He tries to claim they don’t matter, and he tries to live as if they don’t matter, but deep down he still clings to their memory and what they could have had.

What kind of childhood did your character have?

A fairly decent one. His parents weren’t dirt poor but they weren’t by any means rich. He lived by the sea and played in the ocean constantly and always bugged the local sailors and he was kicked into the navy as soon as he was old enough.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

Silver might be a bit of an alcoholic and might impulsively sleep with people a lot. He probably clinks his rings together as a nervous habit.

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

“Wish I were buried at sea”

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

Maybe? I think he’s pretty burned by romantic love in general so it would take the right person to convince him.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Most traumatic memory is being falsely convicted of murder and being exiled by somebody who he cared about. Favorite memory is probably swimming for the first time.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

To have the people who conspired against him in his false murder case be hanged for their crimes.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why? 

Silver isn’t above killing someone and by nature of having been a military officer he had to do so regularly. He wouldn’t do it in cold blood necessarily, more because he felt he was defending his country. There was a point where he killed for fun and to feel any semblance of power, but he’s since dropped that mindset and tries to do it only out of necessity now.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

Silver keeps to himself most of the time due to paranoia. He does like drinking socially and he’ll usually be the kind of person to get a party going.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Definitely constantly living in memories and paranoid fantasies. He’s constantly thinking about revenge and about escaping the pirates he betrayed.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Silver wants closure. He wants to prove his innocence and bring the real criminals who framed him to justice. He wants an apology, he wants his life back. He wants a life.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

Silver is a very precise and skilled killer, and that’s not something many people are as good at as he is.

What would your character do with a million dollars? 

Buy a ship and pay for a crew and go out sailing for ancient treasures.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

If he were in a modern era he’d probably have a bunch of beer and leftover pasta. Bedroom floor would be lots of pants, but probably not his own. His nightstand is full of condoms. Garbage can is full of NONSENSE.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

Probably a club of some kind. He’s wearing a nice jacket with his tiddies out, and he won’t be with anybody immediately but he will find somebody veeery quickly.

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

Silver shuts down. He hyperfocuses on what’s making him angry and does whatever he can to get rid of it. He does it because he hasn’t learned any healthy coping mechanisms.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

He has dozens from various fights and attempts on his life.

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

He doesn’t go out of his way to be offensive so idk yet

How does your character react/ accept criticism?

He’d be very blase about it depending on how it’s said to him. He’s not unwillingly to listen but if he’s talked down to or scolded he’d ignore it.

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

He would hate every moment of it but he’s not above doing things out of necessity.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

He’d definitely stab himself a few times.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

Nah. Maybe some amount of cartography though.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

His parents aren’t terrible people but they shoved him into the military as soon as they could because they got tired of him an his obsession with water. He has no idea what they think of his sentence and exile. I think he’s definitely sensitive to people tiring of him quickly and he has a tendency to not commit to things much.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

He’d probably like sweets occasionally, but not big enough to get sugar rushes.

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

He’d be very upset at this point in his life. He has so much he hasn’t been able to do. He’s had no closure of any kind. He’d struggle against it and then probably fall into the inevitability of it and drink too much.

#silver #dnd stuff #ocs #character questions