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#plum-theory
plumsilk · 4 months
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practicing being hot
they/them
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orions-garden · 1 year
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DROSSELMEYER was in the caravan and now CLARA the horse and they’re in the SNOW and the PEOPLE are TINY and
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exitwound · 2 years
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kumulipo, trans. queen liliʻuokalani
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toastedclownery · 5 months
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i must know,, who does zinnia in this au like & dislike the most out of the 'new' guys (those who got there after they died)
I think they would dislike Lacustrine the most. Zinnia is able to see what everyone does in secret. And they would be peeved seeing the things Lacy was up to.
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(Also they were generally a jerk to Scrith and sometimes the others too)
You can imagine their surprise when they realize the two of them are trapped in the playground together as ghosts from now on
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As for new person they like the most...
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I can see them liking Illusia despite them being also a jerk but they are just an angry kid so they get a pass. Zinnia loves kids. They're terrible with them, but they love them.
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plumnomnom · 1 year
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// genloss spoilers, theories, derealization?
all of the correct answers for genloss were the ones on the right/the last answer except for the last one..
dogs(right)>wisdom(right)>death(right)>them(right)>yes(left)
on the fail screen for the last question, a secret message appears above the screen “you were never alone”. the “yes” option must have been on the left because it *wasnt true*. in the future, this could apply to further questions, like if the mysterious person behind the tapes was lying, or was incorrect, the “correct answer” would be on the left. this could be useful later on to tell whether or not the VHS text is lying, and then be able to tell why, how, or what theyre lying about.
this could be especially useful for finding nuances in things that may otherwise be surface-level and unimportant. remember one of the fail texts? “nothing is as it seems”. something is trying to help us see past the text of the tapes, perhaps even a person *in the screen.*
plum, how do we know thats a possibility?” WELL, DEAR READER. ranboo has a genloss playlist, and the common themes and motifs from this playlist can tell us a lot about how the story may be structured/where the plot can go. (thanks @/Daydark4k for the analysis image)
[image]
for example, cabinet man by lemon demon features a sentient arcade machine who dies when the machine is eventually destroyed. with the themes of scientific experimentation, this could mean that there was an experiment that trapped some sort of consciousness into the tapes.
loss of self would obviously be about going crazy trying to decypher a mystery and quite literally losing your physical body to a conspiracy or magical tape player. the person trapped inside so desperately wants out, and cant reach the outside world.
they got too cocky, too close to the truth. they were found out, and got thrown into the machine, most likely by the one we only know for now as The Founder. if the founder controlled the tapes, T_1 would make a lot of sense. the person trapped inside seems to think that if the founder was caught and/or killed, something would be able to help them. also in T_1, there was an image of a classroom. a red box over the teacher, white boxes on the students. odd, there was a static box on the person you killed to get the good ending.
what could this mean?? ever wonder why there was so much static on the screen?? why was the person you killed the only one without a definitive color, instead being static? its the VHS person. they were the ones you sacrificed for the good ending. you won the test.
the test? oh yeah, didn’t i mention a classroom earlier? a red box (possibly the founder, or a person in their employment) on the teacher, and white boxes on the students. wouldn’t it be funny if the color of the boxes means the amount of control the founder has?
white, blank slates. red, an overpowering color. in fact, the only color in any of the images shown in T_1. this test was given to the students. those that failed Lost, and those that won were converted to Reds. you can maybe tell that this is the case due to the end screen on the ? ending. you were told to not look away, and were congratulated. after a loud beeping noise and a screen filled with *red* the video ends. you, poor soul, were white. now, you’re good. you’re *red*.
notice how on the ending tapes some of the static turns red? the static of the VHS person is infected. theyre red, now. theyre trying so hard to escape, but nothing escapes the founder. remember the single photo from T_1?
that one picture of mitt romney with a red box over his face?? whats with that? romney is a poltitian, and a shady one at that. hes an *authoritarian*. he wants extreme governmental control over the people. odd, isnt this whole thing reminiscent of a controlling cult?
maybe the whole right v left thing was misleading for the first question for a reason? its a subjective question, and usually boils down to personal opinion. unless there really was something against cats shown later, its more safe to assume that its an introductory question that doesn’t matter all too much.
but i do think its important to note the fact that the “reasonable first question” is used. as someone pointed out to me, its a “foot in the door” thing, which is actually quite relevant to what i think genloss may be describing!
see, with quite a lot of cults, the main reason people get sucked in so well is that they use the fact that the people you interact with are just that, real people. they slowly introduce you to new “ideaologies”, try to skew your mind towards them.
its a subtle form of brainwashing, but a powerful one. if a participant went into the test blind, they would let their guard down for the first question, seemingly because its a normal, everyday question.
the ‘life vs death’ thing, although extremely philosophical, is also a relatively common question. from there, the questions get deeper and scarier, luring the subject in.
the whole “place frogs in hot water and theyll jump out, but put them in water that slowly heats and they wont get out and end up burning themselves alive” thing, while niche and not really scientifically accurate for the phrase (i’ll explain later) is honestly the best analogy i can think of.
the victims don’t know whats happening until it’s too late, or they never even notice at all. granted, the thing i referenced is from a scientific study of this one dude who took the brains out of frogs to see if they had souls, so… take that how you will lol.
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azures-grace · 5 months
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The little bard man lives in my head rent free
I completely forgot that he wears, like, EXCLUSIVELY purple
power move, honestly
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razberriesss1 · 11 months
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You think Holly, Ben, Strawberry, Barnaby, Rosie, Jake, Plum, and Mr. Elf had to eat the snow while Gaston was fetching help?
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ryderdire · 7 months
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I do often Wonder who first figured out things that have become seccond nature to us. Like making tools who figured out obsidian is so sharp who first made fire, who figured out seeds. I have no doubt in my mind that they could and they did. I guess I’m just more curious on the specifics of how they figured it out.
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enteringdullsville · 8 months
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Just some darker color Drewmans
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yellowjavkets · 2 years
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"here's my theory on why Coraline never escaped the other world" well it's boring and I despise it. Go to hell
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therebelliouspiscean · 7 months
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The Secrets Of Plum Island, NY | Unsealed Conspiracy Documentary
youtube
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nsk96 · 1 year
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Art Help
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I redid this list because broken links 💀
General Tips
Stretch your fingers and hands
Art is for fun
Never too late to start/improve
Tumblr radar! Submit your work!?
Using a tablet
Editing software: pictures & video
Moodboard resources
Comic pacing
Storyboarding techniques
Watercolor
Coloring
Color Theory (not children's hospital)
Resources: coloring things a different color
Gold
Dark Skin undertones
Dark Skin in pastel art
POC Blush tones
Eyes colors
Cohesive Color Palette
Lights and Colors
Human Anatomy
POSE REFERENCES
Eyes: pupil shape, direction
Wizard Battle poses
Romance poses
Shoulders
Tips for practicing anatomy
Proportional Limbs
Skeletons
Hair Directions
Afro, 4C hair
Cane use
Dingle dongles: male reproductive
Clothing
Long skirts
Traditional Chinese Hanfu (clothing reference)
Cultural clothes
CLOTHING REFERENCE
Medieval armor
Sewing information
Animals
Horse -> Dragon
Snouts: dogs, cats, wolves, fox
Foot, paw, hoof
Plants
Blossoms: cherry, plum, apricot, etc
Plants/flowers: North America, Hawaii, Patagonia
More
Drawing references sources
Art tutorial Masterlist
Another art tutorial Masterlist
Inspiration: father recreates son's art
Inspiration: Lights
ART BOOKS
Art Cheats
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buckyalpine · 1 year
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Hello, first I would like to say that I love your writing and it normally makes me really happy while I am at some boring classes at college, so thanks for that hahaha ❤️
Also, I saw your requests are open and since I am absolutely obsessed with your angst for bucky, I am here to request some.
My idea would be something like this: reader has been in the compound with the avengers for a while now and besides really caring for the team, she has some problems being more open with friendships and relationships in general, cause of some insecurities with her personality, but in somehow she feels really comfortable with Bucky and they are kinda of great friends?
And then she's just waking by the compound looking for him one day and she hears him speaking something bad about her? Something about how he feels like she's overwhelming him cause she just has him as a friend and no one else and it kinda makes her look for him a lot for comfort ( I actually have no idea what he could be speaking, so this is just an idea but it could be anything, really) maybe this could actually be a misunderstanding and he did not meant in that way? I would love if it had a lot of angst and a happy ending, but of course is up to you!
YES I live for miscommunication and comfort and this type of angst, this concept is everything!!
warnings: Angst, miscommunication, idiots in love/ friends to lovers, plenty of fluffff
-
"Hey sugar plum" You smiled, plopping beside Bucky on the couch while he scrolled through Netflix documentaries with a large bowl of m&ms in his lap. "Whatcha watching"
"Haven't decided yet, pick something Jellybean" He handed you the remote and candy bowl, throwing his arm around the back of the couch while you got settled in and flicked through the selection of tv shows.
"Of course" Bucky snorted, shaking his head with amusement as Unsolved Mysteries started to play. You grinned, comfortable nestled against his side while the rest of the team joined one by one; Sam swiped a handful of chocolate from the bowl only to have Bucky swat at his hand like a cat.
"Get your own candy pigeon pants"
"What, y/n gets some but I don't" Sam scoffed in fake offence while Bucky shrugged, throwing one at him.
"Well you're not y/n" Bucky shrugged while you felt your heart flutter. You loved everyone with your whole heart, you really did, but no one else made you feel safe the way Bucky did. Being around him felt like being constantly wrapped in a thick fluffy blanket. Ever since you had joined the team, you struggled to fully be yourself around everyone.
Not that anyone treated you differently; but being surrounded some of the strongest and most brilliant people on the planet gnawed at your insecurities. Steve was a sweetheart, Nat was incredibly skilled and drop dead gorgeous, Tony could charm his way out of just about anything. Everyone had something that made them exceptional and then there was you. You tended to be on the quieter side, fueled with self doubt over if you actually brought anything to the team.
Were you really all that interesting?
What did you really add to the group?
Did anyone even notice your presence when you were around?
Even if they did, did it make a difference?
You'd overthink your way into a quiet corner wondering why you were the way that you were. No one else could see the way you'd worry yourself into a ball of self-doubt, figuring you were just shy and they didn't want to mistakenly push any boundaries.
Then there was Bucky.
Being around Bucky was different.
Something about him was warm and welcoming. He didn't hesitate to pull you out of your hiding spaces around the compound, making sure you joined for team events and game nights. Any insecurities you had always melted away when you were around him because he made you feel special.
Made you feel wanted.
The night went by with everyone sharing their own conspiracy theories over what they think actually happened at the end of each episode while you stayed tucked by Bucky's side. Neither of you had any plans on calling it an early night, while the rest of the team eventually all went to bed as you switched to a new show.
"I'm going to grab more snacks, want anything sugar plum?" You were about to make your way to the kitchen when Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, making you stay seated.
"I'll get it, tell me what you want Jellybean" He shook his head, grabbing the throw blanket and tossing it over your legs so you'd be comfy for the rest of the night while he went to grab the snacks. You didn't have to actually say anything, Bucky knew exactly what you wanted. He came back with half the kitchen raided on a tray along with a beer, pulling you to his side, letting you snuggle against his chest.
You let out a content sigh, unwrapping a chocolate bar while Bucky snuck a bite, the warmth of his body making it difficult for you to stay awake like you'd planned. You eventually fell asleep, waking up to find yourself tucked comfortably in your bed as the sun poured into your room, your body still wrapped in the throw he had covered you with.
You felt your body warm up at the way he was so gentle with you, having carried you to your room without making you stir the slightest. There wasn't anyone else you'd feel so comfortable around.
He was your safe space.
You found yourself hopping out of bed with more energy than usual, deciding to train in the morning instead of your late night workouts, if you were lucky, maybe you'd run into Bucky after his morning run. You made your way to the kitchen, smiling when you heard his voice, along with Sam's, the both of them bickering over something irrelevant as per usual. The closer you got, the more serious their conversation sounded making you wonder if something had come up with a mission
And then you heard your name.
You stopped half way, staying as still as possible part of you wanting to run back to your room while covering your ears, the other part of you curious to know what they were saying. You wanted to move but your feet were glued to the ground, your heart hammering out of your chest.
"How about y/n?"
"Uh y/n..." You could hear the hesitation in his Bucky's as he contemplated his next words, his tone irritated. "She's whatever. It's not like that"
"Meaning?"
"Uh. I don't know, she sort of follows me around everywhere, there's not a day I don't see her but its not like I ask to see her"
You blinked, your stomach starting to churn. Did you follow him everywhere? You did see him everyday but you didn't realize you were following him.
"I mean she's only that way with you, she's definitely not that comfortable with Steve or me" You could hear Sam trying to reason with Bucky but all he did was scoff, your heart wrenching further.
"Yeah. It's overwhelming"
You wanted to run, wishing you had stayed in bed for an extra 5 minutes, your body now hot, not from how safe he made you feel but from embarrassment. Of course he was overwhelmed with your clinginess, he didn't want to have to deal with a burden like you. He had so much of his own issues to deal with and then there was you.
Guilt started to cloud your mind as you thought about all the times you spent time with Bucky, staying by his side while he reassured you or comforted you. How many of those times were actually annoying for him, how many times did he wish you would suck it up and leave him alone instead.
"She's not really friends with anyone else on the team, I'm not sure why she hangs out with me specifically that much" He sounded even more irritated than before; the rest of the conversation a melted into dull buzz, your heartbeat thudding in your skull.
Your eyes stung, hot tears flooding your lash line at his words. Your bottom lip, trembled despite how hard you were biting down on it; your forced your feet to move, slowly backing away from the kitchen until you were far enough to run to your room. You slammed the door shut, instructing FRIDAY to soundproof the walls and turn away anyone that came by before breaking down into sobs.
All of your insecurities were dialed to 100 along with more being added to the list.
How did you not see how annoying you were being. You felt awful, embarrassed, confused.
Why didn't he say anything?
Of course he wouldn't, he probably felt pity for you. A grown adult woman who struggled to open up and still struggled with her personality. An absolute joke.
You let the day go by, too ashamed to face anyone, let alone Bucky. If he felt irritated, there was no doubt the rest of the team knew exactly how annoying he found you. You couldn't bring yourself to see any of them, deciding to skip both lunch and dinner instead while burying under the covers.
****
Bucky frowned when he didn't see you the whole day, his worries growing more when he didn't see you come by for dinner either.
"Where's y/n?"
"I checked on her during lunch but FRIDAY said she'd requested to be alone" Nat looked at Bucky, confused over how he, of all people, didn't know where you were.
"Aren't you both joined at the hip, how do you not know Barnes" Tony wiggled his eyebrow while Bucky rolled his eyes, too worried about you to retort to Tony's comment.
"I saw her once this morning in the training room but not after that. She seemed fine then" Steve had seen you that morning, happy to see you brighter when he had spoken to you, not missing your shy smile when he'd mentioned Bucky's name. "No one else saw her all day?"
Bucky was immediately out of his seat, making his way over to your room to see you, only to have FRIDAY respond instead.
"Ms. Y/l/n has asked that no one disturb her until further notice"
"For fucks sake" He mumbled, knocking at your door one more time.
"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, Ms. y/l/n has asked to be left alone"
Bucky was taken aback when he was tuned away; in the few times you had locked your door from everyone else he'd always been exempt from that list. Why didn't you want to see him either? He reluctantly made his way back, his mind now racing over what could have possibly happened from the night before to now.
****
You had managed to avoid Bucky the next few days, purposefully staying away from the areas you knew he'd be around and staying in your room for most of the day. Whenever he tried to speak to you, you'd find a way to escape the conversation, his words reeling in your mind, reminding you he found you annoying. Overwhelming. Clingy.
You couldn't understand why he was going out of his way to try and talk to you when you were trying so hard to stay away, your heart in pain not being able to spend time with the person you felt the safest with. Your mind made it impossible to get a wink of sleep; you made your way down to the kitchen for a late night snack instead. You grabbed a bowl of popcorn, turning the TV on to your favorite comfort shows needing a temporary distraction.
"Jellybean?"
Bucky made his way through the living room after a late night workout, his heart jumping when his eyes landed on you. He was by your side in an instant, not noticing the way you froze when he sat beside you.
"Hi James"
Bucky blinked, his name sounding foreign on your tongue.
He didn't like it.
Not one bit.
Since when was he James.
"Uh, is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine" You forced a smile, scooting over so you weren't sitting too close to him, your mind racing trying to find a way out of the conversation. Bucky could sense your discomfort but he had no idea why, his heart beating harder against his chest when he noticed your eyes shift, as if you were looking for a way to escape.
"Are-are you sure?"
"Yup!"
"Doll" He noticed the way your eyes continued to flick around the room, refusing to meet his. "Somethings bothering you"
"What makes you say that"
"I-you called me by my name-you never do that"
"What else should I call you" You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with a lose string on a cushion while Bucky felt his stomach drop.
Were you upset with him?
"You always call me sugar plum. Only you do" He shrugged sadly, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "You don't call me James"
"Oh" Was all you could muster, feeling your throat close up, hot tears threatening to spill from your lash line. You tried to turn away from him only to have him gently cup your cheek, tilting your chin to face him. His heart broke seeing your glassy eyes while you chewed your lip to keep from crying.
"Please tell me what's wrong, did I do something? Did I say anything?"
"No" You whispered, swallowing thickly, pulling away from him only to have him take your hands in his to keep you from running away.
"C'mon y/n, please?"
"I-I don't mean to follow you around and be so clingy. I'm just trying to give you some space Bucky" You tried to keep your voice steady, hanging your head so he wouldn't see the tears run down your cheeks. Bucky let go of your hands to cup your cheeks again, his thumbs wiping away your tears.
"Jellybean, what are you-
"I heard you talking to Sam" You spat, now annoyed that he was here trying to talk to you when he was the one who felt you followed him around. "I heard you tell him I'm always around you. That you don't even ask to see me but I'm there. I didn't mean to be so overbearing. I felt safe with you so I was closest to you, I didn't realize you felt like I was following you".
"Sweetheart, it's not overwhelming for the reasons you think"
"Then what else could it be Bucky? You could have told me you needed some space, I would've understood. I wouldn't have spend so much time hanging out with you-
"No! I like when you're around me Jellybean" Bucky almost sounded offended you'd suggest such a thing while you shook your head, sniffling.
"You don't have to lie to me-
"Y/n, no. I promise doll, this is just a misunderstanding, that's not that I meant when I was talking to Sam"
"Then what did you mean?" You whispered, confused over what else he could have possibly meant. Bucky felt butterflies in his chest, not fully thinking this through. Should he tell you what the conversation was about? Could it be worse than you thinking he didn't even like you when the truth was the complete opposite?
"I don't want to ruin our friendship if I tell you" Bucky suddenly looked scared, his eyes wide like a lost puppy, vulnerable and afraid. He sucked in a breath before speaking, inching a little closer to you. "Sam was asking about if I'm seeing anyone. He thinks I need to put myself out there"
Oh.
A sudden pang of jealousy hit your chest, the flinch in your face not missed by Bucky.
"He was suggesting..." He bit his lip, chewing it nervously before continuing. "He asked if there was anything between us. He thought maybe you liked me because we're always together" Bucky continued to look at you like a kicked puppy, his own emotions now all over the place. "I didn't think you did. At least not in that way but he kept saying there was something between us"
"It didn't sound like you liked me very much" You shrugged while Bucky frantically shook his head, mentally scolding himself. "I thought you found me too clingy"
"Never. You're never too clingy. M'so so sorry doll, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, you're the only person who I can spend the whole day with, I'm not comfortable around others like I am with you. I love when you come around looking for me. I guess a part of me was upset because Sam wasn't the first to ask me why we weren't together and ask if we were more than friends. I didn't think you'd like me and it's overwhelming for me because I feel so much and...well"
"and?" Bucky blushed, struggling to get the next words out while you anxiously waited for him to continue.
"and I really like you" He whispered, squeezing your hand in his while you shifted closer, letting him pull you onto his lap. His arms circled around your waist, holding you close to him both your hearts racing, his nose bumping against yours.
"You like me?" You felt your cheeks heat up when he nodded, his blue eyes shyly peeking up at you through his lashes.
"I like you jellybean. A lot"
"Even more than m&m's?" You felt him hug you together, your lips brushing against his.
"More than m&m's" He closed the gap between you both, pressing his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly as you gently carded your fingers through his hair. He kissed you until you both needed air, a dopey smile on his face while you snuggled into his chest.
"Does that mean I'm your sugar plum again?" He whispered hopefully making you giggle, kissing him deeply again.
"Always, my sugar plum"
"My jellybean"
****
"Fucking finally" Tony mumbled, his hair ruffled, stifling a yawn as he walked through the living room, grinning at you and Bucky sleeping on the couch.
"I told him" Steve rolled his eyes, snapping a picture of you both cuddled on the couch while Sam snorted, nodding in approval. "Took them long enough"
Tags: @glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes @alltheficsiwant @chemtrails-club @eralen @perdidosbucky-yyo @clqrosmgc
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dallyfae · 1 month
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-> PLUM BLOSSOMS
He met you not when the cherry blossoms bloom, but rather the plum blossoms.
woah, valentine be upon ye! fluff(?)
also OOC Sukuna cause we really don’t be understanding him 😔
note: look true form sukuna is pretty even tho the fic is of yujikuna time.
based on: an upcoming fanfic im thinking about/brainrotting and planning to write about it soon. oh yeah english isn’t my first language so some phrases and words could be used wrong.
im keeping it vague too of the brainrotting i have.
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He remembered it clear as day.
He had heard the sweet singing of the nightangles on the branches of the blossom trees. He had felt the breezy, yet strong wind from the south.
It was his first ever time seeing you. You were a rookie sorcerer, having been recently enrolled just a day ago.
Being a rookie meant you lacked experience, and it also meant you shouldn’t be worth anything in Sukuna’s eyes.
Yet, it was something else that caught his attention. Something had been brewing inside your soul; he could feel it, but it was faint because of the blockades you unconsciously put around your soul.
Ever so close within reach, to try and interact with you, but like the dreams that were dreamt, he couldn’t run to you, ask you of the numb, nagging feeling he felt whenever you were in sight.
He was enclosed inside the headspace of Yuuji Itadori.
He could only ever observe you from afar, seeing that you were like a lone cherry blossom tree.
…Although, he remembered that it was not a cherry blossom tree.
You were laying under the shade of a plum blossom tree instead.
Not much is known about you. You were just a disheveled sheep isolated from the rest of the brats in school. Perhaps you should earn a medal because you somehow managed to not be friends with the brat caging him.
He had never been so desperate to want to talk to you. Patience was ironically his virtue, but each minute he grew frustrated as the day slowly went by, with you ever still laying under the plum blossom tree, now far away and in the city while Yuuji was in school.
Regardless, his patience paid off. A hard mission had Yuuji weakened during battle and he could switched, immediately decimating the curse and leaving the vicinity to head back to the plum blossom tree.
So here he stood over your sleeping figure, observing your features.
He knows that you were hiding something, blocking everyone from seeing your soul. Whether it was intentional or not, it did not stop the ever intensifying feeling he felt.
It annoyed him, and when something annoys him, he would Dismantle the source.
But he didn’t do it to you. [Was it couldn’t, or wouldn’t?]
The numb feeling was indeed irritating, but he had been growing on it lately. It felt…addicting, if he was forced to admit it.
Maybe he just wanted to break open the locks and relish in the opening of your soul, to hear it singing for him, to pour out the liquid truth on his head like rose syrup.
Or perhaps…love could be an option. Where you could be his soulmate— [a forbidden love of a flower and a monster]. He had read similar poems back in the past, he had recalled.
You were an entire mystery, to have a soul that so lovingly and unconsciously called to him, yet blocked off and reduced to a nagging buzz that numbs him.
So many theories and answers he was racking up in his head.
Were you his other half? Were you someone personal to him in the past that he had forgotten about?
So many answers, so many possibilities.
“You’re pouting,” his thoughts were interrupted by your groggy voice.
You were awake, rejuvenated from the long nap you had, unaware that you pretty much skipped the entire day’s lessons. Your eyes were half-lidded, looking up at the man who had took control over your classmate.
“You overslept,” he brushed away your initial sentence, changing the subject. “And missed out the entire day.”
“Oh….I did?” you mumbled.
You didn’t say much after, slowly rising and sitting against the tree, seeing that the sky had gone dusk.
You were lifted up by him. It was ever so strange that someone so malicious and strong would simply made you piggyback ride him.
The journey back to the school dorms was quiet, but you wouldn’t question it since he could quickly turn on you and kill you with just a touch.
You were back at the dorms, gently being lifted down in front of your room door. You were too sleepy, and he didn’t stop you when you merely head inside your room after weakly waving a goodbye at him.
He smelled of plum blossoms now, having been rubbed off by your scent.
For now, this interaction had satiated a bit of his hunger and calmed his mind.
And he might be starting to like plum blossoms more than cherry blossoms.
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A/N: the tism got to me and i spent like 2 days learning about kigo and reading wikipedia about the history of kana and how it became hiragana and katakana. All to write this fic. mb
anyways guys you should search up plum blossom trees they’re cooler than cherry blossom trees /jk
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dropsofletters · 11 months
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how to unsubscribe to dating
SUMMARY: on april 18th, hansol likes his favorite youtuber’s instagram picture. not because of her content��though, he finds himself laughing at all of her weekly videos—but because he thinks she’s gorgeous. that is how it ends. just a like on a picture that no one will see.
three years later and after a tough break-up, the internet hates her and a misstep has hansol dragged into the drama. now, everyone thinks they are dating and what a better way to gain subscribers and have millions on views on their videos? just let them think it’s real and work on a whole season of dare videos for the world to enjoy.
only that it is not so easy, one can subscribe to a youtube channel but not really unsubscribe to falling in love.
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TITLE: how to unsubscribe to dating.
PAIRING: chwe hansol x reader
GENRE: youtuber!au ; fake dating-ish!au ; youtube drama!au ; strangers to friends to lovers!au ; idiots in love!au
WORD COUNT: 14,014 words
GENRE: fluff ; humor ; drama ; angst if you squint ; suggestive
NOTE: this was a kofi request! if you want me to write anything, you can go over there and request something from me.
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The secret to color theory is that there are primary colors, and the rest are just blend-able shades that would not exist without bases, foundations and ‘trials-and-errors’. In some sense, we correlate the color of our lives to that primary stance—we are red, we are yellow…the intensity that we want to be. How we want to counterpart in a main role that, inherently, sometimes won’t be settled upon us. The saddening truth of being a purple, or a lime green.
She would have never imagined herself to be anything more than a yellow. She said, when she was younger, that her voice would be so high that the annoying tone that came with her made her stand out in any crowd. Yellow. And then came heartbreak, teenage years, the blending with a pure gray or a black undertone that could never get her to darken her soul. It was more like a mustard yellow. Lulled. Not as bright. Just wishing upon standing out again, blending nicely with everyone, but always sticking out like a sore thumb. Hard to look in the eyes.
For the past two months, she felt like she was back to her bright yellow. To smiles with all teeth, shared with Jay as he wrapped his arms around her shoulder; to late-night talks with the phone screen glaring across her vision as she whispered small ‘I don’t want to go’s. Relatively, that comes to a stop. Because, in the eyes of a man that she dated with the dumbfounded hope to finally meet the love of her life, she was never yellow. God, he’d cringe at the mere sound of the Coldplay song. She was brown.
As in shitty brown.
Jay should be better than this. In actuality, after how everything fell down with a break-up text that he never really responded to, she doesn’t think he’s better, but hey, common sense is a thing still, isn’t it? As a YouTuber, quite like her, who shared the same interests and niche with a commentary channel based on pop-culture, one would think that he would not incorporate their ‘not-that-talked-about’ relationship in a Tweet. Though, maybe she had seen him as a bright blue, when he’s nothing but—at best—a plum or a dark gray.
You know, like having concrete between your teeth. Not that pleasurable, neither something she wants to try again.
@notthatjay_lee: how does that song go? a, b, c, d, e, f…thank you for wasting my motherfucking time.
She chuckles. Actually, full-on laughs when sitting on the counter at her kitchen, trying or supposedly about to edit her newest video commenting on Disney’s old shows and how she binge-watched them on a brim. Not that the viewers should know that she watched the entirety of Hannah Montana in a week because she was going through a break-up and crying for the asshole that Jay Lee is, but she needed to update after being a month away.
She continues scrolling, watching the thread that has formed in the tweet and the hundreds of comments that tag her. They weren’t precisely out as a relationship, but it was known. They went to conventions together, appeared in pictures with fans tagged together. It wasn’t hidden under the rug, but it was also not blasted out of proportion like Jay is doing right now.
He responded to a fan.
@jaysassissick: We are here for you, Jay! I can’t believe what some bitches can do for fame.
@notthatjay_lee: imagine getting cheated on by someone who can’t even reach a million subscribers. lol. can sadly relate.
“You just didn’t…” She mutters to herself, standing up and closing her laptop with a bang. More notifications pop up, from all social media that she could muster. Pictures tagged of the two of them together coming up with headlines that read commentary-channel YouTubers feuding. Cheating. Cheater, out of all things.
And that’s the thing about women. If they are not colors that blend well with the primary ones, like men expect to be, they are tarnished and burned to ashes to stay in the ground. That was her case, in which her silence was the ignition of a chain of events that now are out of her reach. None of those people that keep harassing her online can know that Jay had been distant the past month; that he’d spend more of his days running away from her than actually trying to put effort into the relationship.
That it’d be more looking through social media to see him commenting on pictures of his supposed ‘friends’ wearing bikinis and his phone hidden with his face down whenever they were together. It was not confirmed, of course, she didn’t have enough proximity with him, neither did they live together for her to confirm that her suppositions were true, but something she knows. Jay is not a saint, neither is she for the rage that builds within her like a Lego house that burns with the unsatiable need of revenge.
She almost believes that the best way to go about this is making it as public as he is. However, she knows she’s better. Yellow, bright, shining, as she has always been, just shadowed by someone who was envious of how burning her colors could be. Hence, she puts her phone down after turning it off, quite like he did whenever a fight ensued between the two and he would play the victim card with a pout to his lips. She thinks about it—the video she is supposed to edit, the pictures on her phone she has yet to delete and the revival, that word that speaks about new beginnings and definitely, a smirk that tells the past that she’s doing much better.
For now, she’s just alone in her apartment. With a bowl of noodles that has gone cold and a heart that is palpitating far too fast, for heartbreak isn’t easy, much less when it’s this open, but she can think of ways of getting back to Jay, whether the public knows it’s directly thrown his way or not.
She owes this man nothing.
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“Jeonghan, I need you recording my shit. Not looking at your phone.”
With a hand quipping closed as if asking for Hansol’s lips to remain shut, Jeonghan remains as relaxed as he had been when they started recording this weekly’s recap. Though, while Hansol had been stumbling over his lines—as per usual on a Saturday morning, that’s the only time they could meet up because Seungcheol was going on a trip this weekend for his cousin’s wedding—, Jeonghan had frankly lost his mind to whatever is showcased in his phone. So far in the text he’s reading, which Hansol is certain is not a book, that he leaned back on one of the love seats in Hansol’s office, propped his knees to his chest in fetal position and lurked through whatever caught his interest like a lion looking for his prey.
“The moment you can get a word out without stuttering is the moment we start recording.” Jeonghan runs a hand through his black hair, covering the rudeness of his words with a soft smile. Hansol knows better than to take Jeonghan’s words close to heart, but still.
“I just needed some more coffee.”
Seungcheol enters the room then, with a new Starbucks drink since Hansol decided to steal his. “You drank my macchiato.” With a slap on the back of Hansol’s head, the man takes a seat on the other empty love-seat, as if there is not a whole video to be recorded and posted on Monday. “But Hansol’s not wrong. I have to get on that plane at four and it’s nine in the morning. We can get through this video if we just start recording it.”
Jeonghan doesn’t respond and Hansol takes this time to sigh deeply and toss his head back. Things were easier when posting a YouTube video wasn’t so…meticulous. At the beginning, just over eight years ago, Hansol had posted a video on social media that had gotten quite visibly viral. He had over a million views in just fourteen hours, breaking records somehow, making it to meme accounts and Vine compilations. Stupid as it could get, it was a video of Hansol wearing a swimming hat and those aesthetic sunglasses that resembled John Lennon’s style, with Jeonghan zooming in on the frame and him saying: ‘bitch’ before the video came to an end.
It had literally no context, but he made a living out of it.
That’s how he launched his career, changed the name and created an online persona. He called himself Zach, sporting bright and quite frankly unfitting outfits and making meme weekly recaps. He spoke about what was new on the Internet, made fun of some videos, never quite made it to the commentary channel spectrum but became a voice that over ten million people had subscribed to. No one knew that his real name was Hansol, or that he wasn’t as outspoken as he was in his videos. Never an opinion that breaks or makes a room.
Jeonghan grabs the coffee mug from Seungcheol’s hold, ignoring the man’s complaints to take a sip. “I think I have a topic we need to add to this week’s review.” He finally pulls away from his original position, biting down on his lip like he does when he has an idea that he can’t keep on the depths of his chest. “Have you heard about the newest drama with Jay Lee?”
Hansol crosses his arms across his chest, sitting on the edge of the desk that holds his computer, always in front of him in his videos. “Jay…Lee? Doesn’t ring a bell for me.”
“You know, the TikTok guy who makes POV’s videos.” Jeonghan urges on, tossing a glance towards Seungcheol who finally snatches his drink before giving a curt nod.
“Even I remember who he is.”
“How many guys don’t make ridiculous videos on TikTok?” Hansol prompts, only to have Jeonghan sighing.
“He was known on YouTube for his music videos and parodies. You know how that went a little bit downhill lately, so his niche has changed. Makes videos every once in a while.” Jeonghan includes in his narrative, turning his phone around to show a picture of a man he now recognizes. Damn, even in his beginnings as a YouTuber, Jay Lee already had a bunch of people under his name. With long, tossed back black hair, tattoos that scatter across a slim, tall body and a pair of glasses that always rest on the brim of his straight nose. He was of interest for a bunch of people on the Internet, even to this day.
“What about him?” Hansol questions, only to have Jeonghan clapping his hands once.
“He’s burning the Internet with his latest allegations. He was dating a commentary channel YouTuber, though they never accepted it, but he’s making the allegations that she cheated on him and has announced that he’s releasing a diss track to explain everything.” He’ll never understand how the world revolves around drama, but Jeonghan gives more explanation by saying her name and giving him the phone once again.
The picture shows a couple together with a fan, and he recognizes her with far more ease. He remembers last summer, when he would spend most of his afternoons laughing about her videos with the graphics she made. Very rarely does her face show on her videos, but she draws a little character that speaks, through her commentary, about the topic at hand. Always a show. A video. A meme. Hell, he thinks that she once talked about him on a video years ago.
Jay is much taller than her, with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, squishing their cheeks together as they hold peace signs, her hand interlocked with the young fan’s. They didn’t look necessarily in love, but close enough to it. Like the beginning of a love that had just started to flourish.
“What has he said?” Seungcheol questions, now interested in the topic.
“What hasn’t he said? He has spent the past three days creating a YouTube war. He has even dropped her name a few times, tagging her, asking her to be upfront because she has escaped the internet. MIA and all.”
Hansol can’t imagine how tough it is to go through a break-up where the other person is trying to plot everyone against her. Sure, he’s not certain if she cheated, but he takes his own phone to look through Twitter, seeing him post pictures of the two of them together—clearly personal, never seen by anyone but them—, adding thread after thread of how in love he was with her and how badly she broke his heart. It seemed like he was bleeding through a wound that was never quite as open as he made it out to be.
“What an asshole.” He mutters, getting closer to the computer and writing something down on his script. “I think we can add it to this week’s episode. The last bit. Just for a few clicks and because…he’s really getting out of control.”
“And everyone is supporting him.” Jeonghan adds, shrugging his shoulders. “Would be nice to give an opinion that isn’t sided one way or the other.”
“…That’s putting Hansol against a man that has just about the same following as him. Including him in the war isn’t going to do the channel any good.”
Hansol looks up at that moment, raising his eyebrows and weighting the options. Seungcheol isn’t wrong, but he knows this is a topic that needs to be talked about. Break ups on the internet. Where some people post videos crying and hugging for the last time, while others take their following to side with them as if it was a parent going through divorce.
“Yes, but this whole Zach character is about that. Speaking about what I think is wrong, right or funny…and these tweets? Stupid, borderline funny, over-line worrying.”
Seungcheol takes a sip of his macchiato, bringing a shoulder up in nonchalance. “I’ll have to take care of the mess after, but if that’s what’s going to bring the views, go for it.”
Is he really doing it for views, though? Or maybe, he just thinks it’s inherently wrong to destroy someone’s career that way, until they are too afraid to go on the internet because of hate. Jay Lee will have to learn a lesson about being made fun of.
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@notthatjay_lee: glad to know the mystery’s resolved. @chwethatzach you’ve cleared the rumors up. song coming in three days!
Hyeji had said it seven months ago when she started liking Jay, as she flipped on tarot decks, spread them neatly on the coffee table between them, speaking through a cloud caused by the blunt between her lips. Jay Lee’s an imbecile, he’ll break your heart. She didn’t listen, because in her mind all men go through a phase of being overly-confident and, quite frankly, assholes. She opted to believe that Jay was willing to change and talk, venturing into a friendship and then, into whatever kind of relationship they had held that now is a complete disaster.
Her best friend, Moon Hyeji, runs her fingers through her dirty hair after showing her the tweet that Jay had just posted. Tagging her after, nonetheless. Hyeji, as wild as she is, with long locks of wavy hair and a rose tattoo on the column of her neck, had called Jay just a day ago, telling him to back off before she took legal actions. Taking it from the woman who is the daughter of one of the richest men in the country, a businessman nonetheless, Jay should have taken it a little bit more seriously. Hence, he doesn’t.
“What the fuck do I even have to do with that dude?” She questions, finally standing up from her position on Hyeji’s lap. Ever since this issue went to absolute hell, with the diss track incoming and a handful of people making drama videos about the timeline of their very short-lived relationship, Hyeji had travelled all the way from London to get here and eat piles of ice cream while bad-mouthing Jay. Only that it didn’t help her the slightest.
She wants to talk, but she doesn’t know how to go on about the issue. Fueling the problem even more if just going to have his fans speaking with more fervor, and just like how he doesn’t have proof of her cheating, she also doesn’t have anything to defend herself with about not cheating.
“There’s a video, apparently…” Hyeji roams through her phone with long nails before she displays her screen on the TV in front of them. The image that loads is of the start of a video of someone she knows somewhat well, for she really likes Zach Chwe’s videos, or at least, she can catch up on them every once in a while.
Zach has always been a little different than most. He feels like a true friend that one can talk with as he launches in that green chair of his, always wearing clothes that leave everything to the imagination and would have everyone talking about him. He’s wearing a tie-dye hoodie, as per usual in some of his videos, with an apron on top of it that reads ‘the chef’s dead’ and a pair of sunglasses that rest on top of his brown hair. His soft eyebrows move with each of his words, firstly greeting his audience, then speaking about the newest memes found on the internet.
“He must have spoken about your issue with Jay.”
“How so? He never talks about drama.” She asks, getting a look from Hyeji who clears her throat soon after.
“People believe he’s the one guy Jay is saying you cheated with.” Her best friend whispers, moving through the video, getting fast glimpses of Zach laughing, tossing his head back, speaking through slim lips and using his ring-cladded hands to express his points. Only three minutes before the video ends does the image of Jay with her and a fan comes on the screen, earning Hyeji a few taps on her shoulder.
“There! There! Stop the video there!”
The darkness of her room, reeking the smell of orange chicken and diet soda, is bathed in the light of Zach Chwe as he rolls on his chair and says: “There’s a reason us men are called assholes and I think it’s because Jay Lee exists. Okay, I’m not anyone to be putting my opinion here and I usually stay away from these things, so I’m not sure if she cheated or not…but isn’t it, at least, the best thing you can do to spell correctly as you’re dissing your ex?”
Then, the screen shows screenshots of Jay’s tweets, bathed in hate, writing in the worst possible way and yet, with a few errors.
She hadn’t noticed that as she got drowned into the drama that he had created, so she smiles for what feels like the first time this week.
“You don’t even spell that well, Zach!” Someone shouts from the background, and she knows Zach Chwe normally has his friends putting in some words for spice on his videos, but she actually laughs along with him.
“More of a reason to critique, I guess.” He shrugs his shoulders. “But hey, remember those Facebook videos we talked about a few weeks ago? If you haven’t checked it out, I’ll leave the link to that video on the description, but we were making fun about those mom videos where they make their daughters fearful of sending nudes because some creep will post them on their Facebook page. I thought men like that didn’t exist, until I figured out this whole Jay Lee thing. He’s a hair away from posting a picture of her feet, I tell you so.”
The video doesn’t last much long after that, with Zach making fun of Jay’s tweets and then, the camera zooming in on his face for an outro recalling his beginnings online. However, Hyeji has fallen silent, with her knees propped under her chin, using her free hand to caress the column of her ear, as always, seeking for a way of making her feel better through touch.
“This sounds…like the internet is going insane.” Hyeji then reaches for her phone, shaking in the air. “Come on, unlock it and turn on your notifications again!”
“What? Why?” She is not sure she’s ready to lurk through social media once again, Hyeji has been doing that for her instead, like her little manager, blocking the hate that gets real and personal.
“Jay is playing it off as if Zach Chwe is the one that you’re dating, or the one you cheated on him with.”
“I didn’t cheat on him—
“I know, but he’s trying to get views and I need to know if Zach’s team contacted you, so open that phone and get a pair of balls for what we’re about to face.”
A pair of balls would be little to what she needs once she opens Twitter and Instagram.
On Instagram, she has been tagged on a bunch of pictures. Headlines that include her profile picture on YouTube and Zach Chwe’s picture. Titles that go on the rampant lie of ‘YouTube Stars Zach Chwe and OfDrawingsAndWords on a relationship!’ scattering across her vision on every platform she comes across of.
“I’m doomed. Jay keeps winning no matter what I do—”
“Because you haven’t said anything. You’re protecting him even when he’s trying to destroy you.” Hyeji advices, pushing on her Instagram notifications until she sees it, a direct message from the YouTuber who is implicated on this drama with her, nonetheless. “So, you either take the reigns right here, right now or Jay Lee is going to drown your career before it even reached the shore.”
Shaking fingertips reach for the Instagram message, closing her eyes tightly until she opens it.
“Read it.”
“Come on…” Hyeji trails, clasping the phone in her hands. “I know it’s been tough, but I don’t need you hiding away.”
“I’m scared! This guy has nothing to do with me!” She screeches, slapping her hand on her shoulder only to have Hyeji looking at her. With that softness that characterizes her under all her strength.
“Alright…” Hyeji whispers, soon after reading out loud. “Hey, it’s Zach Chwe. I’m sorry that my comments involved us in a mess bigger than what you already had going on and my team and I want to make mends on the issue I just created. Do you mind talking about it, in person or with my PR team getting in contact with you? Sorry for the inconvenience once again.”
Hyeji takes in a deep breath before tossing herself onto the half-done bed.
“We’re talking about it in person.”
“…Uh, we’re not.” She finalizes, trying to snatch her phone back but Hyeji isn’t relenting. Though, she’s not as rude as one would imagine, she still consenting by looking her way and expecting her to change her mind. “Hyeji, I don’t want to see anyone right now. Jay’s blowing everything out of proportion—”
“Reason as to why you shouldn’t hide. Zach Chwe can be a great person to have on your side right now. The internet loves him, and now they’re not as cruel. You have to see the comments, people are torn just because he is involved.”
That makes her ponder, inspecting every portion of Hyeji’s face to find some fun or joke in her features, but she’s full-on serious. Not a drop of insecurity in those quirked eyebrows. She sighs deeply, taking the phone in her hands and seeing the sign that reads ‘you follow each other’. Why is it that people naturally gravitate towards what a man can say or not, even when she has been expecting to be trusted by anyone online and no one seemed to be by her side?
No one but him and a few people. Even the friends that she had collaborated with several times had taken his side.
Hence, she starts typing, not caring about the consequences of fueling the fire a little bit more, because she’s already getting burned, but she won’t relent without a fight.
“I’m down with meeting up so we can sort out how we will go on about this. You select the place and the time. Thank you for getting in contact, by the way!”
Hyeji places a kiss on top of her head, squishing her slim cheek against her scalp.
“We will get past this, love. I swear we will.”
She doesn’t think this unreasonable love war is anywhere near over, however.
“I sure hope we will.”
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Hansol thinks making ramen is an art form. He does it when he’s nervous instead of nibbling on his bottom lip or tugging his black beanie down his ears for the umpteenth time. Only he would think it was a great idea to meet with one of his favorite social media creators on a fucking convenience store, but he feels protected by the quietness and the sweet buzzing of the microwave as he wishes upon a start that the stacks of cheese that he poured on his flaming hot noodles becomes a puddle at the bottom that relishes its exquisiteness.
So, maybe, he’s a bit nervous. Reason as to why he had lost his grip a bit when pouring the cheese on the ramen basket.
It passes him how she has been able to spend weeks receiving the messages she does, but the moment he posted that video, the narrative took another turn. Hell, he even thinks he has seen some edited videos of the two of them as a supposed ‘couple’. The song has been released, heard by thousands, even more news coming up about them and he’s…surprised. About the sheltering that came from his pseudonym and how the world is torn. Now, Jay shines as a real villain and people ponder if leaving him for Hansol was the right choice.
How in the hell he got in this situation is misunderstood by him?
However, he rubs on his eye after grabbing the ramen noodles and plopping them on the nearest table, he hears the bells by the door ringing, the worker too occupied in organizing the strawberry milks to even care about her, but he does. None of her pictures online would ever compare to how she looks in real life. With a gray turtleneck for the weather, face ridden of any makeup, sweater half-tucked into her pants and yet, as her sunglasses rest on the brim of her head, she looks like a whole…dream.
She reminds him of the warmth that comes from a gust of breath on top of freezing hands when winter drops around. They are just barely reaching fall, but the weather has fallen significantly. She stands in front of him, looking away from her phone before a small smile reaches the corner of her eyes, not adding a small ‘hi’ as he does with a wave of his hand, but something to the air between them nonetheless.
“You look different when you’re not mumbling ‘bitch’ into the camera.”
Breaking the ice, warming the air, significant matters that only she can do and does in the brink of a second. Hansol plops the two bowls of ramen on the table, watching as she scrunches her nose at the cheese to stir it within the mixture, but he tries not to think too much about his decision. Maybe, she’s just not fond of cheese.
“I take that as a good thing. I don’t call anyone ‘bitch’ unless I get a really good check out of it.” Hansol jokes around, soon after widening his eyes when she quirks an eyebrow at him, the corner of her mouth barely lifting in a smirk. “Not that I’d call you anything of the like. Gosh, I’m being stupid. Uh…hi, I’m Hansol.”
“You’ve already said hi.” She prompts, picking up some of the noodles and unlike him, who has already burned the bridge of his mouth, she twirls them on the chopsticks, blows on them and munches on the cheesy treat. “But I didn’t know you were called Hansol. I would’ve sworn on my life that your real name was Zach.”
He shakes his head. “I want my real life nicely divided from who I am as a person online. Not that I am much different, but Hansol’s the name that I have on my ID and that I use for personal matters, so I don’t want to mix the two.” He shrugs his shoulders soon after, saying her name and earning a nod from her. “Okay, so, uh…to the matter at hand, right?”
“Straight to the point.” She clears her throat, giving him a smile before reaching for the diet soda Hansol had brought. “So, half the internet thinks we are dating…and that you’re that supposed side guy that I had while dating Jay.”
He shouldn’t ask. Shit, this is Jeonghan speaking in his brain, telling him to fucking ask, but he’s curious. He heard the nonsensical beat that Jay released in the form of a diss track that now has fifteen million views, so… “Did you really cheat on him or is he taking everything out of context?”
She spreads her hands across her chest, defending herself. “Here’s the thing, I am a woman. Me breaking up with a guy just because I was unhappy in a relationship directly has to mean I cheated on him. For starters, I didn’t. I liked Jay even after the break-up, obviously until the moment he decided to blow everything out of proportion.” She explains, sighing deeply after. “I didn’t, for instance. I’m sorry that you got involved.”
“No, I am the one that should be sorry.” Hansol shakes his head, rubbing his eyebrow as if something was bothering him. “It’s just—No, I’m sorry but I don’t regret it. I had to talk about it. Part of it was because obviously, it’s a trending topic, but also because…no one deserves to get the hate you’re getting right now.”
She remains silent, playing with the straw in between strawberry lips. Not an ounce of makeup and yet, the inside looks as if they were bitten to utter perfection. Hansol’s embarrassed that he has liked every picture of hers on social media ever since they started following each other.
Things that the public had sadly taken account of and had completely used against them to prove a supposed relationship.
“I don’t regret it either. That you did that, I mean.” She counterparts. “Sure, I shouldn’t be thinking about revenge, but Jay has been so distraught and the public has turned against him, while also not being on my side. They are just on your side.” With a mellowness that, somehow, he thinks should never belong to her, for the twist of her lips on a downwards motion is a terrible contrast to the smile he saw earlier. “Reason as to why my friend got in contact with one of the people from your team. I don’t have a team myself—”
“I’m surprised I even have a team, so I don’t judge you.” Hansol’s eyes twinkle, remembering the words he had shared with Seungcheol earlier. After all, he’s the manager and the one—technically, for Hansol still has his input—in charge of what is posted on his channel or not. “Seungcheol, my manager, talked to me about what your friend and mine talked about.”
Seungcheol was not that happy about the exposure that Hansol got, but after a while, Jeonghan weighted the options and became a mastermind for what the internet was aiming to see. They wanted to learn the other side of the story, just because it would be told by one of the most liked characters in YouTube as of now. Zach Chwe, venturing into the world of a person that no one would have ever thought he’d be compatible with. To break all the rumors with a show, a mini web-series for the world to gnaw at while both teams earned money.
“For the record, I know it’s a difficult thing to think about. I wasn’t in for it at first.” Hansol explains, and he’s not sure he’s ready to have a different light casted on his channel, but Jeonghan was clear to say that he wasn’t intending on a dating show or a couple’s channel. Instead, he wanted something…vague. “They just want us to work on a challenge mini-series. We’d do stuff like go to haunted houses or anything of the like. To make people wonder if we really did date or we were just in it for the show. They’d give us views, hoping to find something or any clues, and we’d leave with a good paycheck and a big question mark after what we were.”
She continues eating, pondering with fluttering eyelashes and a sigh that gets trapped on her throat. “Yeah…I’m okay with it. I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” She responds, and Hansol thinks the deal is almost over, but she continues: “You’ll have to keep in mind that while there may be a huge wave of people loving our series together, you might also get a lot of hate. Jay did a great job at—”
“I don’t care.”
“Huh?”
“You’ll come to learn I don’t care about a lot of stuff. Hate? I don’t care.” Hansol explains, giving her a soft smile. “A wanking old man can tell me I’m the worst YouTuber he has ever seen, and I won’t take it to heart. I’m not a plate to be enjoyed by all.”
“Whoa…” She whispers, plucking a lot of noodles up to show it to him. “Not only are you the antonym of a lactose intolerant person, but you’re also awfully wise.”
“You’re welcome for the visit to the bathroom later.” Hansol comments, earning well-heard laughter by her. She tosses her head back and the laugh comes out in spurts. Odd and yet, cute.
“I’ll have to get used to those comments, Z—Hansol.”
“We’ll get used to each other. We have a whole season to plan, after all.”
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WE VISITED A HAUNTED HOSPITAL? | EP. 1 S1 | ZACH CHWE
She’d kill Hansol for thinking of visiting a haunted hospital as the first topic of their new show, but she’s too scared to actually want to murder him right now. What if he came back as one of those ghosts who were supposedly here? She can’t risk it.
Drops of petrichor build on forgotten walls, where once were supposedly patients that needed help but were abandoned to a beckoning fire. Hansol said on the way here that he truly doubted the events happened. If the hospital was burned down to its core, why was it still standing and why were tickets sold for people to go through it like tourists in Sydney? She doesn’t have a clue. All that she knows is that they were placed on opposite ends of the hospital, bound to meet through clues, but she hasn’t been able to move from her position under a table.
She was aware that Hansol’s team and hers, which only includes Hyejin, had insisted on having jump-scares all around. One of those jump-scares could be Jeonghan in a clown uniform, but the moment she saw it, the moment she sprinted away. Now, she has been seated there for more than thirty minutes, ignoring her next mission and the door in front of her, with a beating heart and her knees pressed to her chest.
Great, she’s about to ruin their first episode.
Beheld with destiny, she thinks she’s about to shit her pants the moment she hears that old, wooden door creak under the weight of someone entering. Caught, she’s imagined to be, unable to discern between the group of people there to add spice to the video and the actual ghosts that are supposedly in this hospital. However, the first thing she sees are a pair of converses in light green and soon after, someone is kneeling in front of her.
Hansol’s long hair is clouded by a hoodie so thick his earlobes are red, or so she thinks that’s the reason, because his hand pats on the expanded leg of her jeans. Bell jeans were in once again, and she had opted to have them on her outfit. However, Hansol’s high cheekbones lift in a smile when he counterparts:
“If you’re really trying to hide from ghosts, having half of your leg out from underneath the table is not the way to go.” Hansol spares a look at the corner of the room, perhaps pinpointing where the camera is, before she shakes her head at him. She’s still a little shaken, letting out in a trembling tone what must be the most pathetic thing he’s ever heard.
“What if this place is actually haunted?”
“I don’t know percentages, but I am sure someone has died in every possible place on earth. Here, if it’s haunted, or anywhere.” Hansol drags himself under the table, sitting down next to her and taking up the same position she has, though he presses his cheek to the upper portion of his knees. “So, as a matter of fact, every place should be haunted.”
“You’re not helping.” She adds, turning her face to look at him and my God, is Chwe Hansol actually very handsome. He’s different from Jay, with higher cheeks, rounded eyebrows, and a color that resembles honey on tea in his irises. She should look away, not feed into the idea that people have of them being together, but they were meant to act as natural as possible for this show, and looking away has never been more difficult.
“…Said my mom as I helped with the dishes, and my sister after I met her first boyfriend. Helping is not really my biggest forte, but I try.” Hansol shows a full row of teeth when he smiles, like he does it without a care in this world. He probably does. Something about Hansol tells her that he doesn’t really care what people think of him. “But I found you, so I think that’s us winning the game, isn’t it?”
“Is this a park ride for you or something? You’re all smiley and shit.” She tells him, mimicking his smile though hers is a bit more crooked, like she’s trying to push it away so it doesn’t reach him as the most dumbfounded, surprised expression.
“I like this place.”
She feigns a ringing cellphone with a purr of her lips, folding her hand to mimic a phone only to be caught in between his digits, pressed to his ear as if he’s picking it up.
“Yes, hello?” He asks, fluttering eyelashes in between sweetened laughter. One would think that someone like Chwe Hansol was a punch of pink lemonade, but knowing he’s more like a very sweetened soda is a new occurrence.
“It’s your psychologist. He’s asking for another appointment.”
Hansol chuckles at her words, putting down her hand and yet, leaving her with a tingle that awakens in the pit of her stomach and blossoms like butterfly wings across her chest, filling her in with a breath so profound that every single one of her ribs expands with glee.
“They should.” With that, he stands up,extending a slim hand that wavers its fingers for her to grab. Once she does, she’s up her feet, chest to chest with a man who looks at her with pink lips closed together, hiding the row of teeth that she had grown so fond of in just minutes, for how beautiful and calming his smile could be. “I think we should get out and get to the exit—”
What they don’t expect is for the door to bang open, irrupting on their fort and creating a tense atmosphere when they come face to face with a clown, much of the like of what It could look like. And while Hansol laughs from the moment he sees it, she doesn’t. A shout trips from the back of her throat, much like herself, as she jumps onto Hansol’s back and feels his hands contracting against her thighs, catching her just in time. Her eyes, hidden by his neck, are barely touched by the long hairs on his nape that don’t get to be trapped in his beanie, and when she mumbles for them to leave, Hansol starts sprinting like his life depends on it.
Never does he stop laughing, though, as whoever is dressed on the clown outfit follows after them. He’s secure, for some reason, even when they don’t know each other very well, something about Hansol makes her feel as though she is protected. Sheltered from a world that had always been so tough, but with him is just a tiny bit more complex. And for Hansol, that’s okay.
Something tells her that Hansol doesn’t push himself to understand the majority of things. The reason why the world goes around the sun, or why so many people choose heartbreak. He knows he’s a particle, a mere second in a clock, a reason to laugh or a momentum to flee. While she lives through memories, Hansol relishes on breaths. On moments that are here and now, enjoyable and yet, somehow dreamy in the way that they go by so fast.
She doesn’t know him much, but when they reach the exit and the sun bathes them through peaks in between gray clouds, he is still holding her. Even when Seungcheol points Hansol’s camera at them and he’s talking, he still doesn’t let go of her. She hears a faint joke, a reason to part from his neck, but lord does she wish she would not have looked away.
For his face is too close and that mole on his temple is right there, valuable enough to catch her attention.
So, she drops herself to the floor, falling on her knees and raising her hands in the air before shouting to the camera:
“Good fucking Lord, we made it!”
And Hansol laughs, like he does in these situations, but how she wishes that laugh would not feel precisely like home should feel like.
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Thirteen million views and just the third episode of the series has been posted. Now, that is breaking records.
She would have never believed the world would become a big number for her. Flop or not valued by the amount of people seeing you; regardless of interest or not. She seeks for that validation—much more after the break-up—. From people who don’t really know her, but love to give conspiracies about how Hansol and she met. They say they are together, and they don’t really deny it. The closer they get through episodes, the more people seem interested in it, and while she’s in the thrive for more—fame, success, whatever the fuck it is that is sedating her, Hansol stays…the same.
He invited her over to his place. So unorganized, just like his thoughts. He leaves his coats hanging on his poor couch, picking them up per demand, with splashes of coffee on the coffee table from early this morning still forgotten. Tonight, on this Saturday night, Hansol has brought soju with himself, licking off the remaining bits of his black bean noodles from his chopsticks. She still has a bit left on her place, but she has opted to sit with her head hanging from the sofa, looking at him from upside down, maybe a bit boozed because of the alcohol he had prepositioned for ‘idea organization’.
“What if we ate noodles on a rollercoaster?” They have planned up to episode ten. The end of the season, after all. But people have been asking for another season, and while it’s not confirmed, a company had ventured into the hardships of wanting to promote them for a second season and that meant giving them ideas on a silver platter in hopes of them liking it enough to support it monetarily.
“You want a POV of us vomiting on a camera. Got it.” She drags, inspecting the way his cheeks turn maroon and how he puts his bottle of soju down, giving her a smile that, if she had to describe, would call it extremely dumb.
“When you put it that way, sounds incredibly hot.”
“Ew, Hansol.” She has gotten used to calling him that name now, a month into their venture and almost four episodes in. Her head starts thumping and with four bottles of soju, she can’t stop thinking. Hansol has almost been like a bubble; he lets her see on the outside and still, protects her in some way. She knows that the death threads are still there, as well as the ongoing rumors with Jay that include her in a love triangle, but with him, recording and a new group of people around them, she has managed to lose herself a bit more. “I can’t think straight at this moment.”
“Probably because you’re losing blood flow.” Hansol drags himself closer to her, never lifting his butt of the ground, twisting her hair in a bun that falls the moment she sits up straight. Not because he told her so, or because she was afraid of losing oxygen in her brain, but rather the reason behind it was that Hansol was a little too close to her. Enough for her to see those beautiful speckles in her eyes.
Yes, so that’s the thing…Hansol is extremely pretty.
Awfully so.
In a drunken state, that’s multiplied by a hundred.
“What if we made a ‘Show Me The Money’ parody?”
Hansol shrugs. “I’d eat you up.”
“You think so?” She slurs, pressing her cheek to the edge of the couch and almost twitching when Hansol reaches for the corner of her joggers, pulling them down where they had bunched at her ankles. That’s when his skin comes in contact with hers, wrapping entirely around that portion of her leg and letting his thumb caress the joint behind it. “Mm, don’t do that.”
“S—Sorry.” And Hansol pulls away at that moment, cheeks even more flushed with the alcohol, eyes widened. “I—I didn’t…”
“It just feels nice.” She tells him in a whisper, dozing off and letting her eyes close as the only thing she can hear in the background is the faint sound of Drake’s latest record and, of course, his calm breathing. “…And I don’t like getting used to it. You don’t know how many times I’ve gotten used to things only for them to hurt me…after…”
It’s the alcohol talking and the sleepiness losing her, because she doesn’t remember what else she had said or why she falls asleep so fast. What she does remember is what she dreams. She sees Jay in dreams, remembering the way his palm fit so snugly around her knee, and how he’d trace the underside of it with how big his hand was. Now, she sees it in third person, in some cramped-up party of the like of those he went to, with his lips spread around another woman’s, doing the same thing he did to her, and somehow breaking apart the little threads left in her heart. Because that’s what men have always done to her—hurt her until she couldn’t recognize herself.
She awakens with sweat pooling at her neckline and breaths unarranged in a manner that has her clasping the first thing she feels. Hansol has turned down the lights, his back pressed to the edge of the couch, head lulled back in a way that will probably have him aching in the morning. His brown hair spreads on top of his forehead like vices, eyelashes straight and long, jaw squared yet somehow relaxed as his lips part. He’s snoring softly, barely audibly, laying there like he wouldn’t move even if the world ended.
So, she drags her hand across his forearm, feeling every bump and mountain of slim muscle until she reaches his knuckles and touches them, shaking his hand in hopes of getting him to open his eyes.
He doesn’t, but he does hum at the mention of his name.
“Hansol…I had a nightmare.” She has them often. Each time, she looks into the shadows of the night hoping for the real monsters to appear. Not the ones that make their guest appearance in horror movies, but the ones that actually hurt her. People that tarnished her heart in ways that now has it stopping from time to time. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but could…could you please hold me? When I’m held, I can fall back asleep.”
“Yeah, sure.” He rasps out, dragging himself towards the couch as she makes him some space. He doesn’t talk about his room or taking up the bed, because he’s probably too sleepy to even care, when he places an arm under her head and lets him square a leg in between his just to make room for the two.
“I’m sorry for getting so close.”
He drags her until her face rests on his collarbone, humming what she can imagine is a ‘no’. “You’re not doing it for anything bad. It’s okay.” He whispers. “Is this tight enough?”
She looks up at him, eyes still closed. So naturally peaceful and yet, somehow blaring war noises inside her head. Ready to flee away just in case her stomach drops to the ground at the mere sight of him. “It’s perfect.”
Hansol shouldn’t feel perfect. Not if season two is ever going to happen.
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Usually, the one with the cruel ideas is Jeonghan. Hyejin has finally met up to that standard. Her friend, not his, and that’s surprising. Hansol has to give her some props for the idea of the ninth episode.
‘Never Have I Ever’. He doesn’t think he has played the game since that one moment he joined college. Only recently did he get his degree, and the engineering degree normally doesn’t get invited to the kind of parties that have drinking games, but Hansol was friends with a bunch of people who would take any kind of game as a reason to drink. This one doesn’t include drinking, but it’s either eating something really nasty, laid in front of them on a picnic cloth—there are testicles in there, as far as he knows—or answering.
Hansol should be concentrated on making her eat the five meals that are meant to be eaten by her, but he is tranced by her. Has been since two weeks ago, when he decided that sharing a couch with her was a good idea. Not only did he have to walk away before she noticed that he had accidentally wrapped a hand around her waist while asleep, but he also had to fight off the thoughts that ventured into his head. He didn’t want to be the rebound, but that’s precisely what he would be if he tried to get with her. If he played the cards he does sometimes, when life is a little simpler, of rubbing the back of his neck and buying someone’s favorite Pokémon cards.
It doesn’t help that she has decided to look absolutely gorgeous while they sat on a bench, in a secluded park that Seungcheol had found fitting for filming. Roses scatter around them in the same color of red that splashes on her dress. A loving heart neckline that has him looking down and—fuck, Hansol, don’t be stupid. She’s way out of your league—
“Never have I ever…” She drags her voice while reaching into the hat that was placed nearby for them. He looks at the shape of her mouth, the length of her eyeliner and he wants to punch himself for a second. For staring with that intent, even with cameras around them. For feeling a bit protected in front of them just because everyone thinks they are dating. Or so. “Eaten or tasted earwax.”
“Do I have the face of a man that has tasted earwax?”
“Yes.” She responds, chuckling at him only to have him scrunching up his nose. He looks down at the plate that is served in front of him, this round’s beverage for anyone to enjoy. “Hansol, don’t tell me you have.”
“I’m not sure, but I was a weird kid! May have!” He tells her, picking up his chopsticks and biting into the testicles that he had repulsed from the moment the game started. She throws her head back, laughing like the child in her had awakened at his response, before she’s shaking her head and tossing the card to the side.
“You’re so nasty.”
“Tell me you haven’t done it.”
“Just because I am sure I did it as a kid as well, I’ll help you out with those testicles.” She picks up the chopsticks from his hands, giving it the slightest of bites before sticking out her tongue and dropping it to the ground. “Gross! Jeonghan, where the fuck did you find this stuff?”
“It was Cheol!”
The game continues, with the two of them a point away from either losing or winning. She has her legs spread in front of her, crossed by the ankles, waiting for him to read the card that he’s just opening when his eyes widen for a fraction of a second. Oh, this wasn’t Seungcheol. This has Hyejin’s name written all over it. He knows it because she has been wriggling her eyebrows whenever he makes his way past her, opting to tease him about the ‘obvious crush’ he has on her best friend.
“Never have I ever liked the person across from me.”
Hansol doesn’t move, and he should be drinking the broccoli lemonade that the team prepared, but she moves with a little more precision, as if her anatomy was made to act in cue. His heart stops when she grabs the glass and brings it up to those lips that had been burgundy red at the start of the recording to drink. She closes her eyes, tosses her head back, and gags at the taste, but Hansol is far too lost.
…She had liked him? Then? Now? When?
“Confessions, confessions. Always coming up from these videos.” She is more of a natural in front of the camera, taking his hand and bringing it up in the air as per a champion from a boxing fight. She has won him over, if only if she knew. “We’ve got ourselves a winner. Give a round of applause for Zach Chwe, everyone!”
Hansol can’t even smile. He’s dumbfounded, staring at her profile and seeing her grin in such an easy going way. Though, the moment they say their goodbyes from the video, she pulls away from him, clearing her throat and looking at him as if she expects an answer. One that never comes and leaves him just to stand up, excuse himself out of the park and lock himself in the nearest bathroom.
Being the rebound is not what he wants, but God, would he be lying to himself if he didn’t accept he has liked her for longer than he’d want to admit.
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Two months pass by. The first season becomes a success and still, not a word has been uttered about that episode. The subscribers’ favorite episode, but the forgotten episode for those who were involved.
No one asks questions when they come together for VidCon. It feels natural, actually. She doesn’t think she would have been able to just go on her own anymore. As some kind of way the world had planned it, Hansol feels like her counterpart in whatever this is right now. Friendship, work, whatever they have garnered together that people seem to love enough to have a panel for them, where they speak to fans and take pictures together. She notices then that she’s not the only person awestruck by Hansol’s beauty, even when that’s obvious at this point. He looks like a daydream in his black t-shirt, rounded glasses and skinny jeans, smiling in pictures and even joking around with fans.
Sometimes, she just looks at him from the side and blames him for it. For letting things slide so smoothly in between the two after that forbidden episode. He never said a word, neither did he try to clear her head with a kiss to her lips or even a strict ‘no’ that would have her moving on. It’s his fault for being likeable; for giving her a necklace with her initial as a celebration when their first season became a success. For him to receive her with a bowl of noodles for every recording they had each week. For him to tag her on stupid memes on Twitter, not giving a care what anyone could say.
The venue is packed and Hansol gets a little too lost on conversations with a fan that is talking about his beginnings as a gamer—that wasn’t really good to start with—when she feels someone tapping her on the shoulder. Her hips move from the edge of their table, where an enormous poster of the publicity image for the first season of their show spreads in the background, to turn around and respond to the subscriber that was trying to get her attention. Nonetheless, like a clashing thunder in a summer day, Jay stands there looking like the oddest thing she has seen in the past three months.
Because she’s not used to him anymore. Neither has she felt like she was truly comfortable with the idea of him. He’s a few heads taller than her, with his black hair pushed back and the sleeves of his shirt dragged up to showcase his tattoos. He’s smiling when he greets her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and hugging her briefly before he pulls away. They are lucky that is not peak hour and most people have scattered to look at the music presentation that was taking place.
“Jay?” She questions, only to have him smiling proudly, like he would do whenever he got recognized in public.
“The one and only. I had to pass by when I heard you were making it to this year’s convention.” His dark brown eyes splay across the poster behind them, trailing after every detail of the image of Hansol wrapping an arm around her shoulder, both smiling at the camera as they spread their hands in peace signs, smiling gleefully. “Haven’t watched a season of the show, but I might start. It’s fucking everywhere.”
She should not talk to him, but she scoffs at his words, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms across her chest to portray just how closed she is to him, but she doesn’t miss her sarcastic smile. Not an ounce of hate is within her chest anymore, but she recalls the wounds he opened just to make bigger ones. “…Mhm, it’s not the type of show you’d watch. Too much of a big brainer.”
“Oh, come on, you know I’m smarter than I look.”
For the way he plotted the entire internet against her, she knows for a fact Jay could very much be a lawyer or an astronaut if he wanted to. Misspells or not. “I’m certain. I’ve never doubted you’re a cunning, smart little shit.”
“I like that. Might make it my new motto.” Before Jay could venture into more of a conversation, her waist is grounded by a pair of thin arms wrapping around them. Soft skin connecting with her through the fabric of her pink hoodie has her looking back to see that Hansol is hugging her from behind, hiding his hands on the pockets of her hoodie and pressing his chin to her shoulder before whispering into her ear.
“We’ve got stuff to do, remember? Like organizing our things at the hotel and sign some posters for tomorrow…” He never rushes with those things, but at the presence of Jay, Hansol’s a bit more masculine and selfish with time. When she tries to answer him, far too lost in the beauty of him now that he has pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head, pulling the strands of his hair back, his golden eyes have settled on Jay, not even sparing him a grin out of courtesy. “I’ll have to snatch her away from you.”
“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Jay adds, aiming to hurt and taint, but Hansol doesn’t let him. Instead, he pulls her by the strings of her hoodie, interlocking their hands together before speaking closely to her face.
“So, are we going?”
It’s not a doubt that she says ‘yes’. After all, if her heart had grown a bond for Hansol without him touching her that way, having a glimpse of what it could be like to be with him has her brain going feverish.
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Hansol is certain about many things. That he likes the color green. He loves tie dye hoodies. That he would die in a beanie if he could. He enjoys weird scary shows, and he would marathon the entirety of Scream in a minute. He is also certain that he doesn’t want to talk to her, as they sit across from each other in his hotel room. Not just because, but for the matter that she was talking to the ex that had done anything in his willpower to push her to be absolutely nothing.
He sits on a brown leather couch, working diligently on signing posters while she has opted not to do so. For the past ten minutes, she has ventured into all the possible conversation topics in order to get him to look up, even smile, but while Hansol likes living his life in tranquility, he also has his angered moments. His blood felt like it had rushed to his knuckles from how tight he was holding them closed when he saw Jay. He couldn’t bear but admit to himself that, while he had opted not to think about her in that light, the idea of her going back to Jay and not with him infuriated him. Sure, she wasn’t his—neither was she anybody’s, for that matter—but if someone had to have her as the person by their side, it had to be him. Right?
Anyone but fucking Jay Lee.
But preferably him.
Yet, she knows how to get the world to look at her with eyes that had been rose-colored by her voice and eyes alone. After ten minutes, she knows that he won’t talk to her and when the beads of silence surround the cream-colored room, he almost imagines that she has left. Only that he gets to see her jean-cladded thighs standing in front of his knees, his eyes darting to her face for a fraction of a second until he sees her. The closeness, the little smile that splays in the corner of her mouth, and that wave to her eyebrows that tells him that she’s a bit confused, amused, but also a tad annoyed.
“Why are you angry at me? I haven’t done anything to get the silent treatment.” God, she’s one of the smartest women he has met. With the way she can think of matters in the spot and make a drawing on the screen the most interesting thing in the world. He knows her commentaries on movies are the most precise, intelligent words that could be said, and yet, he wishes she could wake up and realize that he has been here, all along, for three months and even a bit more, liking her like a complete fool. “Hansol, you either talk to me or you talk to me. I’m not giving you another option.”
“That man was…okay, I’ll talk to you.” Hansol stops himself when he hears just how mortified he sounds when he starts talking, putting the poster he was signing to the side, laying on the table next to him with the other pile of posters. Soon after, he’s spreading his hands on the armrest, leaning back on the couch. “Jay has done nothing but make your life an absolute hell and there you go, just being nice to him, letting him hug you and talk to you—”
“Hold up,” She interrupts him, spreading a hand on her waist. “If I just ignore him or treat him like shit, I’m giving him even more of a reason to talk. I’ll be the first to admit to say that the stuff Jay put me through wounded me in ways that will take more than a few months to work through, but I also don’t want to give him the benefit of being aware of how much he hurt me.”
Hansol can understand that, but he also knows what men like Jay think. He runs his fingers through his hair, groaning through half-parted lips. “He probably thinks he still has you on the palm of his hand.”
“He doesn’t.” She shrugs. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want to see you with him. That is the problem.” Hansol says, standing up and staring at her, face-to-face. “I know you won’t go back to him but it makes me angry to think you ever thought of being with him. Not only doesn’t he match up with you on looks, but he never deserved you. You could put him on a pan and drop an entire bag of salt on him and Jay Lee would still be flavorless. The biggest mistake you could ever make, and the thought alone of him wanting to be with you—”
“I don’t want to be with him.”
“Yes, but…” You also don’t want to be with me, he completes for himself. Sure, she had once said she liked him, but what reassures him that it wasn’t just for the camera?
“You’re making a big deal out of it!”
“I fucking know!” He exclaims, widening his eyes.
“Then?”
“I will make everything that happens to you a big deal because I care for you. I’ve liked you for God-knows how long. Sorry for getting jealous, but I don’t regret it one—”
She interrupts him before he could say anything else, with her lips spreading across his, savoring the tremor of his mouth before he opens it to the granting touch of her tongue. His bottom lip fits between hers as if they were made for her, her hands gravitating to his waist and pulling him closer, though the fact that she was the one to make the first move did not stop Hansol from adding his own motions. His hands spread on the back of her neck, thumbs coming in contact on the column of her throat and dragging a sweet stripe down, rising goosebumps all over her skin. Hansol tilts his head to the side, a cloud of humidity building from the breath he lets out before kissing her lazily, albeit strongly, like he knows he doesn’t have to do much to do it right.
She would like to punch him, ask him why he never did anything when she confessed to liking him in that video, but Hansol has seated back on the chair, hands landing on her hips as he continues to kiss her, and her thighs part to settle comfortably on his lap. When she pulls away from him, lips tainted in that romantic shade of pink that he leaves everywhere he goes, she traces the outline of his mouth with a peck before she goes down to his neck, hiding in there for a second.
“You had me guessing for so long, Hansol. That’s what assholes do.”
Hansol’s hands rub at her hips, one of the portions she’s more insecure about, but with him it just feels right. “I don’t want to be your rebound.” He tells her, grabbing her by her chin before pushing their lips together once again. He keeps his eyes closed when he speaks against her mouth, just minutes after biting on her bottom lip. “Please, don’t let me be a rebound. If I am, stop me now.”
She’d be crazy to stop him. Not when his mouth looks like a rose petal and her heart feels the more at ease she has felt in a while. Sure, this is always the start of every romance. She knows that men feel comfortable before they destroy her heart even worse than the last time, but something tells her that this is not the case with Hansol. She closes her eyes, venturing into the shape of his mouth to trace it like the map she should have followed a long time ago.
For now, she’ll get lost in him, in the way he makes her feel like she’s the newest star in the sky and he’s drawing it himself. Calling her something that goes unnamed for now.
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The word ‘for now’ is so funny. It prolongs in time, so much that three months turn into six, and then, an entire year.
She had said that Hansol’s idea was a ‘for now’. That him, as a person, was temporary as it gets, but the clock was making fun of her as she rushes to his car, holding onto the coldest coffee she could get at this hour of the morning. Some people feel comfortable, not because they are colored certain way or how they make you feel, but what you two make together. Blue and green are colors on their own, but together they make something different. The creation of new matters is what makes the world a little bit more interesting.
Hansol doesn’t enjoy mornings, not after a short night of sleep, and that may be her fault, but with the way he smiles at her when she opens the car’s door, she’s sure he has forgiven her. For how great they felt last night, she’s sure that there were no grudges held. A camera is pointed her way, though she knows that the second season of their show is still being published on her channel and, no way in hell, he would ever post the videos he takes of her. Little vlogs to remember what it was like here, now, forever. God, forever sounds amazing with Hansol.
“Here we have a whole coffee addict, making her way to my sick Porsche.”
“It’s a Toyota, Hansol. Sit the fuck down.” She completes, entering the car and pushing her hair over her shoulder, leaning over the seat to let him taste the coffee. That makes the camera a little too close to her face, laughing and pushing it to the side the slightest. “I’m sure I don’t look that good in that angle.”
“You don’t, but real love will make me say you do.” He completes, sipping a few more times into her coffee before giving it back to her. He has the hood of his shirt all the way over his dark hair, turning off the camera and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before he starts the car.
Talking about their relationship in public was forbidden, for she doesn’t want to blur the line in between the faux relationship and what became real. In fact, it happened with its bumps along the road. She can’t say that everything has been easy, that sometimes her nightmares don’t wake her up with the idea of Hansol leaving one day, or not precisely leaving her, but stomping on her heart before he flees away, but that idea alone is pushed away with a served kiss and a few words that save her from doubting. Hansol is not much of a talker and yet, when he opens those lips of his, he always seems to say the right thing.
So, while the subscribers have never gotten a real video of them admitting to their relationship, it’s almost public notice. She sips on her drink, looking at his profile and the tranquility of him before asking.
“So, I saw a Tweet not too long ago. As I was waiting for coffee, actually.”
“From who?” His voice grows serious, expecting to hear anything from Jay or anyone else on the internet, but she calms him down by interlocking their fingers together, tracing the small promise ring on his finger with her thumb.
“From a subscriber that wanted to point out our supposed beginnings.” She likes looking at those conspiracies from time to time. They are so ridiculous that she can’t help but be amused by how close and obsessed people can get from someone they saw on the internet. Well, as long as it’s kept like a good momentum on someone’s life, and they know not to blur the line, she’s sure it’s okay. “The first picture you liked of me was on April 18th, three years ago. It was a picture of me on my desk, looking down at my I-Pad as I drew, working on my next video.”
Hansol twists his head to the side, laughing to himself a bit before nodding. “I remember that picture.”
“You do?”
“I do.” He looks at her for a fraction of a second before bringing their interlocked hands up, giving it a soft kiss. “Your hair was shorter then. Way shorter. I thought you were pretty.”
“Sometimes, I wish I had met you earlier.”
“Huh, earlier wasn’t our time, I guess.” Hansol responds, letting go of her hand to grab her coffee.
Holding her breath, she looks at his sleepy profile. At him as a person. It has been so long and yet, the words don’t weight on her mouth when she opts to mumble it for the first time:
“I love you, Hansol.”
His eyes twinkle when she says those words, spreading a smile into his face that show all his teeth before he gnaws at his bottom lip.
“I love you, too.”
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lostuntothisworld · 16 days
Text
Okay so I think it's time for another spaghetti theory:
Lilamoth isn't collecting moms. She's collecting sisters (or siblings)
Let me explain my thought process here. So a big complaint the fandom has is that we don't have a proper rogue gallery for villains. It's just the butterfly, and nothing else. It worked for early seasons, but things might be getting stale for some folks.
Enter new characters connected to Lilamoth somehow.
So she has 3 moms so far (that we know about.) All but one have something in common: dark hair and blue eyes.
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From left to right we have Mrs. Rossi (red), Mrs. Bianca (white), and her third mother who is deaf could possibly be Mrs. Verdi (green).
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Then we have this fourth lady that we see Lilamoth watching on her phone in the season 5 finale. I would NOT be surprised if Odille is going to be her 4th mom. Dark hair and blue eyes, and she is also disabled, just like her third mom.
(And I would not be surprised if we find out her surname is Nero (black), or Viola (violet). More on that aspect of this crack theory in a bit...)
Anyway, back to the concept of a rogues gallery. In the finale we see Lila in a disguise that 's VERY reminiscent of one of her moms:
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Certainly she can't expect to disguise herself as a woman in her 30's-40's, and especially not with glasses and bangs. But she can pass reasonably as a teenage girl with a dark bob and glasses. You know, a sister.
So we know a certain main character whose name is in the title and wears red with black polkadots has dark hair and blue eyes. We don't know Lilamoth's motivations and and end goal, but we can surmise that she wants to take the place of Marinette.
(And I KNOW I've seen at least one other person theorize this, and I cannot find the post(s) so if you can find it please let me know so I can link it here!)
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The pictures we see is one of Marinette with her classmates on the Liberty where Zoe is accepted in the friend group, Marinette with her parents, 3 pictures of Marinette with Kagami, and one picture of Marinette with Luka.
It's interesting to note that there isn't a picture of Marinette and Adrien together shown to the audience. You'd think they'd emphasize that, but no, it's mostly Kagami. I know it's because it's because the episode focuses on Kagami, but still. Other than her, it's just Marinette's parents, Zoe and Luka (Luka! Marinette's ex!) showcased in the closeup screenshot.
I got sidetracked! Anyway, I think other than similar coloring (and color-themed surnames haha) Lilamoth is trying to find other teenagers who are willing to join forces with her. She probably will get her hands on some Miraculous for them, somehow. But I don't think the new jewels will be from the Chinese box.
Here's where things start REALLY going off the rails with this theory:
All of Lilamoth's rogue gallery of villains are her adopted sisters (or siblings) and they are all Luka's exes. He's got a type for Italians with dark hair and blue eyes...
Going back to the surnames, all the surnames have something in common: they share the colors of all of Adrien's various transformations over the course of the series so far:
Rossi: Mister Bug
Bianca: Chat Blanc
Verdi: Aspik
We're just missing Chat Noir (could possibly will be the surname Nero, as it's Italian)
and Ephemeral (it's interesting to note that the surname Lee in Chinese can mean plum, which of course, is purple)
So naturally, my crack theory circles back to Lukadrien is endgame.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
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