#plural problems

[strawberry-graveyard]

it’s so hard when your support/comfort people are in your head. like my headmates are the most important people in the world to me, i’m so glad im here with them, but it’s hard when you need a physical person to help with something. and i don’t know if i trust anyone in real life as much as i trust the ones in my brain.

#here lies courtney #ghastly moans in the midnight #endo safe #pluralgang #plural problems #system problems

[www-sys-net]

BEGGING at this point for plural discord servers that aren't fucking dead 😭🙏

#actually plural #endo positivity #endo safe #endo tag #endogenic #plural community #plural pride #plural stuff #plural system #plural culture #pro endogenic #pro endo #endo friendly #endogenic safe #endogenic positivity #endogenic plurality #endogenic system #endogenic friendly #plural tag #plural problems #plural #plurality #plural gang #plural positivity #plural terms #plural things #pluralgang #plural posting #plural advice #plural shit

[damidomien]

I’m in kind of a weird position as an alter in a system. I don’t think we’d ever date outside of the system, maybe MAYBE if they were also a system we would, but that’s a big maybe. Because there’s relationships within the system, and not everyone is poly. So while some of us would be fine with having an out of system relationship as well as an inner one, there’s others who’d just straight up refuse. Not to mention the insane amount of fear and trust issues that come with being a system. I so desperately want someone outside the system, in the physical world I can love (and fuck relentlessly), but I just don’t think it’d be possible. It’s hard enough to find other queers in our middle of nowhere ass city, let alone ones who are understanding of our several conditions.

So we’d have to find someone who is a) queer and willing to date a trans body b) understanding of plurality c) willing to date several people all stuck in the same body d) be aware some of those people in the body won’t consider them a romantic partner and be ok with that. That’s a big ask for someone who isn’t also queer and plural and understands on that deep level of relating to each other. Again in our middle of nowhere ass city?

I personally would like a relationship outside of the system as well as inside of the system (I’ve slept around in the headspace but shhh, we’re talking long term here). But I know the chances are slim to none. And at the end of the day, it’s probably best for the system we don’t have a collective romantic partner. It just makes me feel extra lonely sometimes, having no one to kiss when I’m in the front.

#vent? #tw nsft #nsft blog minors DNI #system nsft #plural nsft #plural problems #plural system #plurality #system #alter blog #plural blog #system problems

[bluenightcomedies]

plural problem of the day:

having decision paralysis cuz multiple alters want something different and we keep arguing about which we should do orz

#plural things #plural problems #system stuff

[biohazardousvoidwithfangs]

i often forget about possibly being plural until I’m reminded of the fact that most people don’t in fact have separate enough aspects/facets of themselves that have their own name and individual appearance 🙃 I don’t know if “I” am the sum of all the parts, or if “I” am another facet. is all blurry and muddled. I don’t really know who “I” am. and this all makes it worse. I’m sure being schizoid doesn’t help either. or maybe being schizoid caused this. hmm

Like I often don’t feel like “myself” but I think that particular concept of self is mostly centered on how this body presents itself. Like I’m definitely aromantic and look masculine, I am male, I assumed to be a man by most people. But there’s a facet of me that is a hopeless romantic and very sapphic and I have no idea what to do about it bc it’s so radically opposite to how I am most of the time. Can I be a man and not a man at the exact same time? fully both? (is that what being multi gender is) It’s so complicated and I wish it was simple.

But compartmentalizing my sense of self gives me- the hopeless romantic sapphic, the greaser flirt rat-boy, the eldritch abomination with an ever shifting form, literally just a cat, and something that lurks back in the depths of my subconscious that I can’t put a finger on at all except for calling them vaguely elven. It’s so contradictory because no one “fronts” it’s just like I am a prism that is being rotated and occasionally it reflects a different color of the spectrum than before. Which is the actual me or am I the sum of all my parts? are these pieces the real me or the fake me? is real and fake just a construct? Making a space to express these pieces more just feels like role playing. Anything that isn’t void and nothingness feels like play acting. And I don’t know if that’s bc they are fake things I made up or if that’s because my real sense of self is so locked away protected from harm in a tower.

#plurality #plural gang #dissociating #schizoid personality disorder #plural problems #actuallyschizoid #actuallynd #i went through my blog and forgot that i had already posted something like this oops oh well #fey talks

[thewanderinggraveyard]

Me, trying to do a Task™︎: hmm I wonder why I’m having such trouble with this?

New persecutor who decided to make his presence known in the loudest way possible: BECAUSE YOU’RE AN IDIOT

#void #fabilliar #txt #creep ss #ani ss #osdd system #sysblr #plural system #plurality #actually plural #endo safe #plural problems #plural culture #plural memes #system memes #pluralblr #actually multiple #multiple system #multiplicity #amt ss

[fenmere]

We’ve been using we/us when writing and talking to anyone but clerks in public for six years now.

We’re just now having a linguistic problem with that. It’s occasionally cropped up before, but rare enough we laughed it off. But now it’s getting harder to stop.

We’re starting to refer to our singular body parts in plural.

Even though we’ll be talking about our head, we’ll say something like, “Our heads hurt”, and it feels right.

When we catch ourselves, we correct it. But a lot of us really don’t want to.

#plural problems

[systemofuncertainty]

Me: *wants to confirm that I'm not alone and ease my doubt*

Stressed/worried alter: Hello *stays present and nearby*

Me: I don't want this

#plural problems #system stuff #traumagenic system #HT 🤹

[herd-of-creatures]

I would be lying if I said that I was a little jelous of systems who have members who know who and what they are immediately. We have members like that, someone fronted yesterday and could write his pronouns and gender within minutes, thats just how it was for him. Thats amazing!! Having that amount of self reflection and internal communication is amazing and im proud of anyone who can do that!!! I hope it keeps improving <333

I just run into this personal wall, I have fronted multiple times, im around a lot and can front often but I couldn't tell you one personal detail about myself. I have general likes and dislikes but innerworld wise I got nothin honestly.

I am being patient with myself and doing everything I can to not force myself, but sometimes it feels like im not doing enough and thats why I dont have answers.

#system #plural #actually plural #plural problems #system problems #creature tears

[strawberry-graveyard]

deeply uncomfortable when you post lovemail for your in sys partner but your in sys partner is also a fictive and you used their source name so now your friends respond like “omgs same!!” thinking you’re talking about the character and not your beloved inside your brain

#here lies courtney #the minute i posted it i was like ‘shit i should have used their other name’ #ghastly moans in the midnight #endo safe #plural problems #system problems #in sys relationship #in sys dating

[skyedancer-system]

System stuff has been all over the place today (negative)

Last week we thought we felt someone new forming and were worried that it was a sorta-friend’s character. I (🏮Kieran) tried to will him to not fully form and it seemed like it worked

Then today the guy showed up while I was in co front with 🔧Nine and immediately picked a fight with me; I pulled him a little away from front so Nine could have some peace while we argued (part of it was about whether we should tell his source’s creator/our sorta-friend about his existence, but I don’t remember much else)

Now he’s disappeared somewhere in headspace and we have no clue if he was even real or just us imagining things

Nine went back into Headspace to try scoping things out (and maybe to find our scout/welcomer El; she’d know if someone new was actually here)

Kinda hoping he isn’t here bc we don’t want to have to deal with possibly explaining to his creator that her AU character exists in our system now, but I feel like we won’t get that lucky xd

-🏮Kieran (He/They)

#plurality #multiplicity #actually plural #plural system #plural problems

[confluenceoffate]

Just had to watch an absolutely gross depiction of DID/plurality on Medium (my parents like to watch it). Basically, evil alter BS plus possession. Like....seriously? I know it's a supernatural TV show, but a mental illness is not demonic possession.

#error ives.exe not found #dissociative identity disorder #plural problems #actually plural

[the-mechanisms-system]

god fuck does the doubt ever go away?? we’ve known for almost half a year now i think but still here i am having an anxiety attack over the doubt and fear that we’re not really plural. i wish we acted different when we front i wish things were clearer i fucking hate this i just want us to be more separate and distinguishable individuals both for individuality’s sake and so we would know. masking is the worst thing because we dont know how to stop and everything is so muddy All The Time

#vent tw #system doubt cw #tw system doubt #tw anxiety #plurality #plural problems #honestly at this point its only half doubting our plurality #the other half is knowing we're plural but being fucked up over how unclear everything is and being afraid we'll be this muddy forever #who am i?? what am i specifically like as my own person?? where do i stop and the others begin?? fuck if I know! #i don't even think we're median #its just monoconsciousness making everything confusing

[bluenightcomedies]

❌this is Laceburner. something unusual recently occurred that i would like to talk about. this is put together by technically secondhand observation, so don't mind the odd tone. this is specifically plural/system-related. not sure if this counts but potential cw for derealization.

during the day, Sylverwynd and Blue had been experiencing constant dissociation, having memory gaps and zoning out. approximately 5pm, judging by the log, Blue, Sylverwynd, and Kal began blending on top of the dissociation, lending to a struggle to stay focused and Blue showing unusual behavior while fronting. at some point shortly after, Blue lost her sense of identity altogether mid-conversation and a seemingly new identity began trying to ground themselves, talking to fellow plurals we knew we could trust in an attempt to ground and identify themselves. they were unable to name themselves and instead identified using "i" and "me" in quotation marks, and describes that they felt like to quote "fragments glued together to make something that shouldn't exist". this state was apparently very distressing as they also mentioned crying, describing how disturbing and uncomfortable the experience was, and having urges to tear themself apart. they spent the entire time holding conversations and attending distractions in an attempt to avoid having a full panic attack or meltdown. around two hours later, i began fronting and found myself staring at these conversations and friends trying to comfort them. (I thank you for your help, those who spoke with this identity.) the eerie part is that there were faint memories of that duration, but as i tried to recall and piece them together, the memories faded until i could remember nothing but the conversation log i read through. as a friend of ours described, it was akin to waking from a dream and trying to write it down before it disappeared. it seems i got to witness what i believe was dissociative amnesia in real time, which was morbid yet fascinating. i'm writing this down not just because i find it curious, but also if it's possible i would like some outside explanation on what just happened.

one of the identity's grounding attempts was a vent doodle, so i'm sharing it as well;

#❌ #plural stuff #plural things #system stuff #plural community #plural problems #cw derealization

[starglowwos]

does anyone have any discord servers focused around created plurality? usually advertised/branded as tulpamancy servers (though i still dont know if thats the right term to use in all cases)

we're struggling with un-monoconscious-ing ourseulves, un-frontstuck-ing me, and giving my headmates more autonomy and more of a consciousness

we've been suggested tuplanomicon and other guides, but does anyone have anything else? guides? google docs/similar? games? communities? anything would be helpful!

#plural #plural community #tulpa #tulpamancy #pro endo #plurality #plural system #actually plural #tulpa system #tulpa friendly #tulpa safe #tulpamancy guide #anti endos dni #sysmeds dni #plural positivity #plural problems #plural friendly #plural help #system questions #system positivity #system problems #system friendly #system headspace #system help #plural headspace #system struggles #syscourse dni #c:/starblobs/gold #c:/starblobs

[forest-in-a-box-system]

Lady, currently: mitski screaming, misery, rage

Me: REESES PUFFS REESES PUFFS EAT EM UP EAT EM UP EAT EM UP

#social alter #idk i like lady #she's funny #“shes mean” yeah and it's hilarious #pluralgang #plural system #persecuter problems #for lady ig #plural problems