#plus i really like how the classes there work

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my gf's son not to call me dad?

I (22M) have been dating my gf (24F) for 4 years now. She has a 7 year old whose dad isn't in the picture anymore - he hasn't been since the kid was born. My gf says he was abusive and I think there are some charges against him but as far as I know, nothing was proven. He has other kids too who he does have a relationship with but he doesn't have custody rights with my gf's son so they hasn't been allowed to have a relationship.

My gf and I live together and are both in college. I am going to be a surgeon and she wants to study science but she hasn't decided what to do with it yet. Because we're both busy with that, her son doesn't live with us full time. He stays with her parents during the week. This means that we have to dedicate our weekends to looking after the kid. I didn't really mind this at first but her parents are really pushing for her to look after him during the week now too, which we don't have time for. I hear how that doesn't sound great but the plan has always been that her parents will take care of the kid until she finishes with school. She has classes for 4+ hours from Mon-Thurs, plus she needs to spend a few hours studying every day, then she has labs on Friday for most of the day. I have classes all week for fewer hours each day but next semester I'll probably be doing an internship so I'll have more work to do. Then we pick up her kid on Friday evenings and spend the whole weekend with him. There's hardly any time for us to spend time alone together. I like her son and he's usually fun to have around but both of us are obviously stressed from having no down time so most weekends my gf and her son get into an argument or something and things escalate. I try not to get involved when that happens. Sometimes my gf and I are the ones who end up arguing and in that case, I usually go to my parents house.

Basically, I'm not super involved with the kid. Her parents want us to spend all of our free time on parenting despite originally agreeing that it was better if my gf focused on school. He has a dad who could probably be more involved but my gf and her family don't want him around. I've suggested that maybe it would be a better solution for her son to live with his dad full time, that way she can focus on school and then her career and still have time for herself and for us. I love her but she doesn't really have maternal instincts and she doesn't actually want kids, she has said a lot that she regrets not giving him up for adoption.

Recently, we were out for dinner with my gf's sister and kid, and the kid called me his dad. He's done this a lot and usually I just kind of ignore it, but no one else corrected him this time and I felt like the kid deserved the truth. I asked him then and there not to call me dad because he has a real dad who probably wouldn't like it. He didn't seem upset by it but my gf's sister lost it. She thinks I don't want the kid around and that I'm the reason my gf doesn't spend more time with him. She also thinks this was the first time my gf's son heard about his bio dad. Total conjecture, but she won't hear my side of it. The kid knows I havent been around since he was born so he obviously knows someone else must be his dad. I told my gf I don't think it's fair to let the kid call me dad when he has a real dad out there and she sort of agrees. She told her son not to call me dad anymore and they had a long talk about it. She still doesn't want the real dad involved but that's a whole other battle.

Here's why I think I might be the asshole: I said this to the kid in a moment of annoyance, which probably wasn't the way to bring it up. Like I said, he didn't seem upset by it but I wasn't there for the longer conversation so I don't know exactly. I think he's old enough to be allowed to know about his real dad in a more serious way. It's kind of messed up that he could run into his dad in the street (we live in a pretty small town) and wouldn't know it. I'm not his dad and for the foreseeable future, I won't be responsible for him as a parent because he still lives with his grandparents. I think it's reasonable to say that he shouldn't call me dad. So, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[ncat]

Each time I reread the mystic document I understand it more, and feel more compelled to play it, just to try it at least once.

It's like, cursed magic to me. Like in a story when someone says "Ooho, don't go learning those types of magic, it eats your soul" or whatever.

Can't be that bad for me...

#Limited Number Known #but each known gives a list of thematic abilties. #Plus #bonus passive ability you can activate #or well #i know how bad it is #Its unbalanced lol #im keenly aware of it #and its a bit hard to approach on first glance for some players #and not a lot like old psionics for old players #(Plus Wu Jen as psionics is sadge) #but still like #Some of the stuff in theres really cool #Most of the class is wonky #but i really like how the disciplines are designed #Im actually pretty keen on that design #Were the disciplines attached to a more fixed up main body of a class #i think itd be nice #...I wonder if just grabbing the disciplines + numbers known + subclass then throwing them on a mostly featureless (cept for asi's) class #-with regular spell point progressiok would work out #Damn now ive got the urge to throw that together too oop

[kohakhearts]

cons of going to a “good schoolTM”: insane workload, unbearable classmates, next to no support when you have any kind of extenuating circumstances Including literal hospitalization, etc

pros of going to a “good schoolTM”: the 9-5 lifestyle is genuinely a major improvement

#taylor.txt #the extenuating circumstances point was not me btw. i know someone who had his degree delayed an entire year because of two weeks in psych #we’re in a co-op program or else maybe it wouldve just been one semester but. lol #i hate it here…i hate it #but hey…at least i have the world’s shittiest health insurance! #some of my classmates say they dont feel like working full-time is easier than going to school full-time but it so is #for me. anyway. even when i fumbled my time management bad on the field and make no mistake i was incredibly busy plus i chose a field #notorious for Unpaid Overtime and Taking Your Work Home. even then. it was still easier than this #i would never do undergrad again. i loved everything i learned. i took interesting and awesome classes #but i would never ever do it again. miserable overworked spent most of it friendless until i got on the field #i have a friend who keeps being like idk how you did 4 physics classes this sem and im like girl we are education students…thats an average #semester for a physics major. how must THEY feel #also i have to say just you know. generally. ive worked full-time while living with my parents #AND while living alone. and 50 hours a week was incredibly manageable in the former arrangement. i even wrote and edited an entire novel #in the beginning stages of a pandemic while working 50 hours a week of retail and fast food hell. 40 hours full-time with weekends off #while living alone though? thats hard. i still managed to go to the gym almost every day #currently? i cant get out of bed in the morning. i am putting in 12 hour days and then goinng to bed unable to sleep because im so stressed #i have dreams about school. tangentially theres a really good marxist poem i read last year about this phenomenon in workers #ANYWAY. i have just 8 more days 4 exams 1 research paper and video project #i think i can pass and then thats it. my next semester is hell but just because scheduling the actual classes will be easy #and then i get to go back on the field and actually want to wake up every day. lol #and 8 days from now i will have my christmas shopping done and my apartment will be clean and i will be a fanfic writing machine #also my friends and i booked a demolition room so im sure that will be beneficial kfldjfldndks

[viatrix-glow]

watched road to show for the first time

#enstars #my art #i forgot that the subtitles on the websites are like… Bad #they’re still enough to know what’s going on mostly . but man i hope someone can make real ones someday #anyways for future note if my art becomes sparse it’s bc i am feeling a little burnt out/ unsure of how i feel abt my art right now #also because i need to give my free time to working on my pleiades cosplay…. #plus 3 math classes this semester so i know im gonna be a little pressed for time lol #also the movie was good it’s very cute and i think that it looks better than the anime #like u can tell that they got better with animating the style between the years i really liked the facial expressions

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[nosieposie]

I need to stop going through the cycle of realizing I'm ruining and wasting my life and then not doing anything about it every week I can't do this anymore godddddd

#vent #sowwy I'm just so tired #i really don't like my major I feel like I'm not learning anything and I'm just wasting my time pursuing something I'm not good at #and which doesn't even bring me joy #plus I'm too scared to look for work because ehat if I can't keep up with my classes. which I already can't and I can't figure why #why does everything go wrong each semester i made a point to start assignments early this time but I can't keep it up for more than a month #the thing is when I had a job I was tired all the time but at least work was work and I hd weekends off #right now it's like either I do uni or I feel bad for not doing uni and not using my time on this forsaken planet to do something #and I know the steps I need to take to not feel miserabel all the time i do!!! but i can't figure out why I don't do it already #i need to find a job so i can get out of the uni sphere and feel like I'm actually doing something. also i need money. #then i can study at my own pace and stop doing too many classes #and if then i find out I hate the job I'm doing I can still try something different but uh I don't ACTUALLY hate urban planning I just hate #how out of touch uni is. this was supposed to br fun and enlightening but i just. keep tripping over my own incompetence

[scaredofmyocs]

I love it when i accidentally stay up on the night im supposed to be catching up on sleep it totallly doesnt make me feel horrible all week long

#talk post #i love this blog i want to live here #I cant!!! i just cant!!! go to bed at a normal fucking time istg #but noooooo the wild grinders wiki no some stupid bullshit no one has ever cared about before #WHEN I DONT GET ENOUGH SLEEP MY MENTAL HEALTH GETS WAY WORSE!!!!! IF I DONT FIX IT WE ARE GOING TO GET TOO SILLY #(yelling at a mirror) #seriously bothers me tho that Im always worried about how intense my negative feelings have been lately #and im like “oh ill just get more sleep” and then immediately fuck it up the next night making me tired all week #making me feel SO bad in the mornings and at night and increasing my paranoia and other such thoughts #and in trying to tune it all out just forget about it again leading to me fucking it up again #this is a bit dramatic its only happened 2 weeks in a row #but that feels like a lot because thats like 10 nights where i felt like i blinked and i had to wake up and go to school #and not only deal with my shitty social skills but the results of said thing #and also try to fight the thoughts that are like “this shits pointless im not doing this” LIKE PLEASE pretend to be normal for one year #and also that one teacher i have who demands every students attention while he teaches like i already finished the work sheet shut it #like i do well in that class just let me do what i want im not being distracting like girl i have at least an 87 dw about me #PLUS most of the time im not even on my phone he just really wants me to look at the board but girl as i said I ALREADY DID WHATS ON THERE #i feel like i never get to relax but i do all the time so i dont know what i mean #i keep saying “its ok as long as i can bury all my thoughts and just keep going while filling what free time i have with things i enjoy” #but things only work for so long #i hate the passage of time #anyawy erm wrong my guitar is in my mind (stupid ass guitar riff) #walks over to my bed and trips on the way falling asleep on the floor #ramble #hit post

[illdothehotvoice]

Okay I'm in a better mood about all of it now lmfao sdhjgkndfh thanks for listening to my rants dshgjkfdh

#ouuugh i just hate how elitist art school is dshjgkfndh #I'm sorry that gallery work isn't really what interests me I think there's a space for both kinds of art in this world #and one isn't inherently better than the other #PLUS I think it's interesting to push more industry like work into gallery spaces! I think mixing the two could be REALLY cool #So that's what i try to do with my school work qwq cause I LOVE industry work! #BUT I also understand I'm in a fine arts program! And Fine Arts has it's own merits! And I really like mixing the two concepts! #And sometimes that lands me in hot water with my professors! #dshgjdfkngkdh like i literally do not know what else to tell you besides this is just how i draw dshjgkfndh this is what interests me #my school pushes us to persue things that interest us but the second it's something out of the norm it's a problem #my professor was very adamant that we do the things we WANT to do in her class and be open about our influences. #And the second I bring up I'm influenced by video games and character/story driven work it becomes an interrogation sdhjgkdnfh #okay rants over for real does anyone want to send em asks about sans undertale sdhgjkndfh

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hmm its been an interesting week i suppose #very busy in a good way. but that is always how it starts. i make myself so busy and it feels good and then i wobble and fall out of my body #so im feeling wary. also bc ive been under sleeping more than ususal but im not really tired but im also not boiling out of my skin with #energy. i just feel ok. so thats good. but also a demon in the back of my head is always like: then stay up all night. lets see how far we #can push this. which is not good. and in fact ive been proscribed like basically emergency mood stablizers to knock me out if i start like #losing my mind and not sleeping lol. bc i dont wanna b getting ready for something big and like completely unavailable to control my #ability to think. and ive also been proscribed birth control to get a handke on my fucked up hormones. so we'll see if that makes things #less all over the place. hopefully it works bc im so busy i kinda dont have time to like freak thr fuck out #but i am a lil apprehensive bc like i can count on my hormones to make me feel things when a lot of the time i dont have much emotional #range. so its like fuck finally i can cry abt this. or like fuck this is so beautiful. but then i also cant function sometimes #so i guess i just gotta see what happens. sigh. also the typical frustrating in having to read so much. like ppl hear im dyslexic and r like #oh do u want accommodation? like literally wtf r u gonna do to help me as a grad student? it just takes an agonizing amount of time to #understand thing. i have my computer read to me and i suffer. theres literally nothing else to b done abt it. and fucking next week i have #to teach a fucking lab abt reading scientific papers. they have to read a paper in class. fuck off. those r the types of exercises that make #me feel so fucking stupid. like do this thing right now. read it right here and answer questions abt it. and i fucking read it and retain #fucking nothing. im fucking 26 and literally in my grant writing class i have to apologize to every person before i give them feedback like #lol sorry i can barely fucking read. i fucking cant understand language. its fine but it sucks. theres nothing to do abt it. it just makes #me mad i have to teach a class that would have made me cry as an undergrad. so ill prob hold their hands thru it more than the other TAs #will. bc fuck u im not making them read a whole fucking paper in class. fuck u #plus the frustration of not being able to express myself well in thr moments. like theres a delay in my brain so i feel so dumb when im #trying to convey myself off the top of my head. like give me time and ill write it all out for u i just cant actually process wtf ur saying #to me. also i probably spaced out for a sec so i missed part of the convo lol. frustrating but at this point its just how it is. it makes me #more empathetic when i have to teach i guess. like listen ive got all kinds of fucking learning probs i just wanna help u learn something #how can i help? fucking dyslexia. god. i dont wanna prep for class this weekend. ive gotta show up like yea i kno reading papers is hard at #first but it gets easier! fuck u. its worth the suffering if i enjoy to topic but its always suffering. but thats what i get for going into #academia. thr dr who proscribed me stuff was like well sounds like u have a stress trigger and ur a phd student where life is stress... u #gotta figure out whats gonna work for u. sometimes thats a career change. not in like a pushy way just like: if what u do makes u suffer #then wtf r u doing? and hes got a point. but in contrast to what i was doing this is a massive improvement #well see if its manageable. ugh. i just wanna draw #unrelated

[dragonanne]

Just a little self-portrait that I doodled this afternoon. Been feeling worn down the last few days by all the little things that are piling up. Prayers would be very much appreciated. Prayers to be able to knock all the stuff off my to-do list that I need to, and prayers to be able to get some rest and peace from the feeling of being overwhelmed by Stuff. And maybe prayers that I could get ahead on some of my work so that I'm not feeling this way every couple of weekends 😂

#i just feel like there's SO MUCH that I need to do #I'm cleaning out and moving my art stuff into my own little studio which is AMAZING #but the time I'm having to spend cleaning is time I feel like I should be working on other things #and then there's client work and teaching stuff like class prep that takes time #and I need to get back with my editor and talk about the notes she made on the JT manuscript #and make revisions #and finish up the last few illustrations #and move the rest of my art stuff down to the studio #and try to figure out where the spiders are hiding in my room (i wish i was joking) #and I'm even to the point that the fact that I have 4 books in my currently reading list on goodread is stressing me out #because it feels like a sort of to-do list that I need to get items checked off of #like????why is that stressing me out?!?!?! #and then there's another thing that i don't want to get into but it's also on my mind and weighing me down #on the plus side my pastor's message tonight was really good and definitely something i needed to hear #it was over psalm 52 and how David thanked God for dealing with a problem even before He had done it #David knew God would handle it and that He kind of already had but David just hadn't gotten to that point in time yet #i like that #God is outside of our perception of time and He's already taken care of our problems #even if we haven't caught up to that point in time yet #that comforted me #the ramblings of a dragon #prayer request

[inkubye]

#i cant sleep bc im too stressed and ruminating about the financial situation im gonna be in next year #i hate being working class i wish i had enough money to even finish my mf uni degree properly #its so unfair that some of my peers are rich enough that they dont even have to really significantly worry about finances #can i please be a trust fund baby im begging #but yeah this sudden hit to my sense of mastery and independence is very hard for me to deal with #i finally began to feel like i could afford my rent ok and food/necessities plus some nice things here and there #and even had plans to build my savings #but its just.... gone #i dont even have the words to describe how empty and defeated i feel #not feeling very tinkerbell #og post #personal

[pallases]

okay well i don’t know what to do w myself now

#personal #the physics chronicles #made it out alive w an 86 when i thought i’d end w an 82 at best so. YIPPEE #my prof is refusing to tell me if he allows makeup/online/early exams tho he’s just saying he strongly does not recommend me taking it when #im going to miss two weeks which. I GET THAT but i honestly do way better studying on my own than having to listen hours on end to a prof #drone on so i feel like if anything the two week absence would be in my favor. but i obviously can’t tell him that LMAO plus i now #understand how he formats exams like i really think i could pull this off at the MINIMUM #<- accidentally cut off early anyway at the MINIMUM i am confident i would be able to pass w a c as long as i wouldn’t get a fat zero on one #of the exams. i just need to know if he allows the makeup/online/early exam and if the answer is no fine i’ll be on my merry way just tell #me 😭 #this is abt physics 2 btw i see now that i did not say that anywhere. seriously tho this is just endless space stretched out in front of me #like i know i should give myself a chance to relax but i don’t have anything to do.. there’s my myth class and ig i could focus my #efforts on the american lit clep? but myth class is LAUGHABLY easy (not bc its humanities but bc im fairly sure i could say literally #anything and this prof would give me 100% and a ‘good example’ comment im honestly p pissed abt it but anyway) and ends soon anyway like #what after that… there’s my job that’s literally it and ALSO if i don’t have a class making me get up at 6 am i’ll be sleeping in forever #until work comes around this is no life to live!!!

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

.

#god im so fucked #i've just stopped going to one of my classes #i'm going to fail it #and like. theoretically that is FineTM #i don't need it to graduate #my gpa is good enough that it probably won't tank it and i'm probably going to die before i go to grad school anyways lmao #but i really really want to try #and like. i am trying! #it's a journalism class #& i finally nailed down the interview i need to do the final project #way too late! but i did #& anything is better than a 0 etc #and i KNOW i just need to email the professor #bc like. it is insane extenuating circumstances #& i am having the Most mental health breakdown of all time #& i was doing really good work before that! & she knows that! #but now i've left it too long #& i really don't know how she'll react to 'mental health issues' as a problem #(& that a lot of the extenuating circumstances is like. gender sucks) #(plus like. ridiculously niche religious trauma finally catching up to me) #and i don't WANT to #ugh #i'm so fucked

[ham-nah]

I wish I was learning

I wish I was learning

I wish that my efforts in pouring my mind body and soul into school gave way to something useful

I wish I was working to improve myself instead if a grade

I wish I could take so many classes that I am unable to take because of required classes I will never use

I wish my teachers tried to teach me instead of giving me a book and telling me to teach myself

I wish I came to class to learn instead of seeking a grade

I wish attaining knowledge was good enough in class and that I didn’t have to endure the anxiety and tears I experience every day with extra work

I wish I could spend my free time with my friends or enjoying a hobby instead of giving everything I have to get a good grade

I wish I didn’t have to break down over how one grade could affect the rest of my life when all I’m trying to do is learn

I wish trying to learn was good enough

I wish I had a life outside of school

I wish I wasn’t filled with negative thoughts every day that are only fueled by the overwhelming amount of work I have to get done.

I wish I wasn’t so tired. Every day.

Im so tired. I want to be done. Done with school and work and responsibilities. I wish I could just calm down.

I wish I could look forward to a work-free vacation.

I wish I could look forward to a break from school, not because it’s a break from working, but to visit family or have fun.

I wish I wanted to go to school.

I wish I wasn’t afraid to get sick, because that means I would miss my classes and have to make have to do double the work when I get back.

I wish that when I tell my best friend that I feel hopeless about school and frustrated with the world, she didn’t say she felt the same.

I wish not so many people could relate to me.

I wish the six hours of school I sit through every day was enough. That I didn’t have hours more work to do in my free time at my own home, where I’m supposed to feel safest and most at peace.

I love to learn. I wish the school took advantage of that and actually taught me instead of making me wish I didn’t have to go to school.

I wish my dumb decision of not studying for a test with my underdeveloped adolescent brain would not affect a grade that could potentially lose me a scholarship to a future college which could prevent my getting a good job and influence the outcome of my whole life.

I wish I didn’t have to stay after school for literal hours talking to teachers trying to get my grade up.

I wish I didn’t feel the need to cry literally every. single. night. because of school.

I wish my friends weren’t having suicidal thoughts

I wish I wasn’t developing depression and anxiety because of the helplessness I feel when it comes to school

I wish my best was all I need. I wish I didn’t have to give school my all, everything that I have, and still find myself falling behind. I wish the best that I could do was good enough

I wish I didn’t feel so hopeless and frustrated that I felt I had to write this at all.

(Oct 20, 2020)

@hella1975 here u go :)

#behold #for context im still in high school so I don’t have all the high school/college comparisons you do #but last year four of my classes were college-level (AP or CE). so i had like 4 college classes and 4 high school ones #i had so much work that i would wake up early to do work. go to school. come home and do work. stay up well into the night to work. repeat #the college classes plus covid and the teachers not knowing what they’re doing and giving more work to compensate was just. the worst lol. #*sigh* #it’s a lot better now. i mean im still feeling some burnout but that’s FAR preferable to all that #Im also American so my actual college exams will hopefully be less work than yours. I’ll actually pace myself this time #this was also never meant to see the light of day and its very unedited so. do with that what you will. #was really feelin the teenage angst #i was very dramatic. but It’s also exactly how I felt lol #oh yeah and i was paying for those college classes so I can still relate #sorry this was prolly different than you were expecting lol I lowkey forgot most of this

[latinokaeya-moving]

my mother wants me to talk to a guy she knows from work who owns a laundromat so that i can maybe work part time there when i’m not in uni and while i cannot deny that i am very enticed by the promise of more money i am a little bit worried abt how well i will do at managing my time between two different jobs commuting to uni and my actual uni dissertation

#x #she’s like oh u can work there the days u don’t have classes! plus maybe the statuary! #saturday* #and i already work mon-fri in the evenings #so i’ll essentially have only nighttime’s and sundays free. n im like hmmmmm. Is That Enough For My ADHD Ass To Get Things Done #leaning towards not really but once again i cannot overemphasise how much i kind of would like to begin saving money considering. everything #going on rn lmao

[bornafter1993]

week 7 starting to get into the thick of it

#twiggy speaks #music stuff #college is starting to feel like i’m actually doing work #and i have to learn how to study 😭😭 #also i’m so mad #my theory class has a tutor but his hours that he stays with students is during my human sexuality class/choir class so i can’t stay w him 😭 #anyways yeah #i have many assignments and i have to start studying to really nail everything #like i know all this stuff already hit i need to be able to recognize and write things as quickly as reading english #that plus work phew #really getting into it now #but it helps a lot that i have fun at work #and it doesn’t stress me out too much or leave me too exhausted