#plus it would have made more sense for the guy whose DAUGHTER HAS GONE MISSING to do more than say 'destiny is calling you link you must go'

[powdermelonkeg]

Controversial opinion: Gaepora should have sent a handful of knights along with Link down to the surface, as a rescue party

#adds this to my list of things to write #just like. imagine how interesting it would be #groose fighting to be on the team #pipit grabbing flowers for Karane #actual character development for albat hauk and kyte #a rescue mission for Link when he gets caught in the volcanic storm #CAMPING TOGETHER #FOUND FAMILY #just. this would be an amazing movie/story/game #plus it would have made more sense for the guy whose DAUGHTER HAS GONE MISSING to do more than say 'destiny is calling you link you must go' #what can i do for queue

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Bumi II with an s/o that is Zuko’s daughter?

This evolved into so much more than what I was aiming, but here you go. Enjoy!

Bumi II with fem!s/o that Zuko’s daughter (Legend of Korra)

They have been friends since childhood and it shows. Those visits to the Fire Nation were not always possible with the Avatar’s schedule, it did not stop the two from forming a bond at a young age. By “bond” I mean “rivalry” and by “forming” I mean “kick starting a strange competitive rivalry that baffles to this day.”

Bumi as an adult has some sense of common sense, he just chooses to put it to the side sometimes. Bumi as a child is a Sokka gone feral with a need to bug others. S/o being a proper princess with manners was going to become a rival to him at some point or another, it was just natural.

The distance between their homes made it possible for this rivalry to peak and fall with lulls of peace when visits were over. It’s when they both join the newly minted United Forces that things go from “meh” to “oh no.”

Both families knew this day was coming. Aang and Katara knew for sure that the way those two acted, the universe would play a joke on them and force them to spend time together. Zuko knew, but was really hoping that the forsaken day would never come. The amount of damage reports he gets about his daughter and Bumi’s antics...

Their rivalry only worsens with their cadet-hood. Bumi’s happy-go-lucky attitude is nails on a chalkboard for s/o. What’s worse, his cheery attitude means getting unfair attention from higher officers despite his terrible antics, while all her hard word and diligence is commended but hardly noticed. It’s infuriating! To Bumi, her being so diligent and so hardcore about their positions only makes him want to rile her up more to see the cute angry looks on her face. It’s always hilarious to see ‘Miss Princess’ get all frustrated.

Cadet-hood brings a strange moment of understanding though, at least in the final year of it. They unfortunately have to spend more time together much to the amusement of their comrades and commanders. Pranks have gone down somewhat, but the same back and forth hasn’t been lost. It does give them something neither excepted to have though. Understanding.

It strikes Bumi as odd that his rival/friend from childhood is always working hard. In fact, the moments where she is angry with him are the only moments he really sees her not working or training. Chatty as ever it doesn’t long for him to figure out from co-workers that he’s really one of the few friends she has on the ship. Women aren’t common in the new United Forces yet, and there’s a lot of sexism in what is proper in a military/what isn’t that affects her. Princess or not, she’s had to work hard for what she has because she’s had to no choice. 

It explains why she gets so frustrated with him. Bumi gets to make jokes, slack off, be silly and more and no one bats an eye. A female cadet doing that, a royal one at that, would just be proving all the lies and rumors that some of the others believe in. Who wouldn’t be upset with that? 

S/o isn’t without a sense of humor, or a sense of being. There’s a time and place for everything; she’s just of the personal belief that the middle of paperwork isn’t it. A lot of her days and nights are filled with work, and work, and work, and it’s not like she can really complain about it to anyone. Bumi’s jokes and cheeriness are frustrating, true, but time together as cadets has laid the foundation for something new. Respect. Pranks have gone down, he’s respecting her space more even as he’s wasting her time with some form of positive chatter but... it’s nice. Kind of. Not that she would ever admit it.

Plus, despite his cheery attitude he knows when to get serious. It’s strangely refreshing to see to the happy-go-lucky dork be intense and take things seriously from time to time. And she’s not sure why that is yet.

Bumi is strangely the first one to address it. There’s a shift in his behavior around her - a subtle one but one that s/o can recognize. He’s still a jokester but he’s also the one checking in to see how she’s doing, the one who when he sees her working actually sits down to help and then drags her to get a bite from the cafeteria. It’s a strange unexpected shift and s/o is still waiting for the other foot to drop, to figure out what prank he’s up to, but honestly it’s so nice to have someone actually care she doesn’t think about it too much.

Though it is hilarious to see to him pout over the accusation of being up to something. She stifles a laugh at the face he makes.

This weird friendship actually becomes very strong with time. Cadethood become Lieutenant-Hood, Major-Hood, and just keeps going. They make a strange pair, the cheery man and the intense woman, but they’re an interesting duo. It’s amazing to see them work together on missions; having known each other their entire lives they’re almost in perfect sync on rescues and combat missions. And maybe, just maybe, there might be a tiny spark of admiration of each other.

Bumi’s had it for a while. There’s something about a woman who can kick butt and keeps people alive because it’s the right thing to do that hits him right in the heart. He’s just been so sure that she doesn’t see him that way that he’s tried to settle for friendship.

S/o did not ask for this. Definitely did not want to be awake in the middle of the night thing “oh no” as the realization hits her straight on the head.

S/o makes the first move. Bumi has been too much of a jokester for too long for any potential moves he has to actually work (jokingly flirting too long does tend to do that) so it would have to be her taking initiative to actually get the ball rolling. Still, it’s one of his favorite stories to tell, the time “Miss Princess asked me on a completely professional outing that could or couldn’t be a date, don’t make it weird you airhead.”

He acts like a hotshot about it now, but s/o will gladly point out that she’s not the one who had to be pulled back on board after going overboard.

Military power couple. Bumi may be a jokester but he wound up Admiral for a reason, with S/o holding a powerful rank as well. The two work incredibly well together, and their relationship outside of work has only made them that more dangerous in the field.

No where near as dangerous as the time the Fire Lord and the heir apparent to the Fire Lord were told by the second princess that she was dating Bumi, but that’s a story for another time.

Bumi will drop the worst lines on her, with goofiness that would make Bolin cringe, but he’s the one whose face flushes when she takes the lead with word and with action. A single surprise kiss to the cheek will have his head in the clouds for the rest of the evening.

He may be a verbal guy but action and physical contact are his love languages. The first time she placed her head on his shoulder, s/o could feel him go stock still and warm up under the contact. It’s one of the few times she seen him go completely quiet.

Bumi is cheesy, I’m sorry. Over the top gestures like kissing her hand, badly arranged flowers, shouting from the rooftop that his partner is the coolest are going to happen. He has 0 shame as she reminds him he can’t just climb a tower to shout such nonsense, he’s not going to get it.

He is there for her though through thick and thin. Yea he’s got a sense of humor but if he senses that his s/o is genuinely having a bad day he will gladly hold her for as long as she needs and press soft kisses to her forehead. He’s learned there’s a time and place for a joke.

I have more headcanons but this post is long enough as is. To summarize: powercouple mixed with the sunshine/serious trope, rivalry to playful banter, genuine respect and kickassery tropes.

[popculturebuffet]

The Casagrandes Reviews: Operation Dad

In my first look at The Casagrandes, We meet Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s dad Arturo as Ronnie tries to get him to start working in the city to be closer to them.. and when a genuine honest appeal dosen’t work, shenanigans will have to do. Dad stuff under the cut. 

This is one i’ve had in the works since my labor day catchup binge of shows, but kept getting pushed back either due to regular coverage or specifically timed things like the bi visalblity day review of “What Was Missing.  And with Halloween next month, my time to cover this is running out a bit and I feel it’s a great place to start covering this show so, pitter patter.  The Casagrandes didn’t really hook me in at first: It did have two things going for it: An intresting premise A blended family coming together, with our heroine and her big bro being fish out of water in a new family situation. Wheras with the Loud House Lincoln, and by extension most of his sisters, is used to how his house runs, knows the score and knows how to manuvre around it, Ronnie Anne was being dropped into a new situation, with people she KNEW, but only likely from seeing them breifly. It’s one thing to see your cousin once or twice a year, as I did with mine at that age, it’s another to live with them. It had a lot of potential. The other thing was Bobby Santiago, Ronnie Anne’s brother, and one of my faviorite characters across both shows, an endlessly nice guy who while suffering from a terminal case of dumbass, is utterly likeable, helped by his VA Carlos PenaVega, with the spinoff and i’ts build up only fleshing him out more by giving him his job at the Mercado, and showing he has serious buisness acumen  in addition to his many other talents. 

But what made me wary was the lead: Ronnie Anne didn’t get the best intro on the loud house. You know this, I know this. We all know this. No sense beating around the bush: She was a bully, who had a crush on lincoln and masked it by pummeling him. And this was seen as okay by the show which isn’t as suprising in hindsight as Chris Savino clearly has messed up views about women and harassment, and is thankfully no longer part of this. She did get slightly better once she actually showed up, getting genuine chemstiry with Lincoln and being shown underneath the bully exteriror was a pretty nice kid who shared his intress. Granted it wasn’t perfect as the show madei t clear he was terrified of her, but it did at least also make it clear he no longer had a reason to be, and while she’d prank her boyfriend, or assits his sister during her dark time once a year in doing it, and if your wondering if i’m ever going to watch or cover the april fools episodes .. yeah i’m just waiting you know.. for april fools. 

My point is it was kinda mixed and their solution was to soften her up a bit but also act like she and LIncoln weren’t intrested in each other all of a sudden instead of you know, dealing with her past actions and having her make up for them. It was sloppy is what i’m saying and the character while not bad wasn’t in the best positoin to tkae the reigns of her own show. They did add some intresting depth with the move though, showing that Ronnie Anne and Bobby were often on their own, and that Maria moved them to the casagrande household simply because she felt her daughter would be happier NOT having to be the strong one or take care of herself all the time and actually have someone look out for her instead. It was a good emotional reason for hte move and both casagrandes showed up ocasoinally, mostly Bobbi whose still with Lori to this day as seen in the season 5 premiere.  It was an okay foundatoin but it would depend on what they did with her character.. and i’m glad to say.. they made it work. The show still has rough edges, mostly having the same problem ducktales and the loud house itself had during season 1 of juggling such a large cast: Most of them outside of Ronnie Anen and Bobby have only gotten 1 episode, and even then CJ feels underutlized despite being amazing, while the adults outside the grandparents feel underutlized.  Buuut the show is funny, intresting, has good pacing and unlike the loud house, having already learned that lesson, while Ronnie Anne does get more episodes than the rest of the family, it does feel more like an ensemble show and the focus on her feels less like the show not knowing what it has and more like easing the viewers into the rest of the cast by using her as a viewpoint.  Ronnie herself is better, the bully aspects gone. She can still take care of herself, and is still fairly indpentent and clever, but she’s got a sharp sense of humor and a clear love of her family and the fish out of water aspect I hoped for, while not used a ton, still comes up in intresting ways.  Overall i’d say the show is off to a good start.. and it has Melissa Joan Heart and Ken Jeong as a married couple and let’s Ken play a diffrent role for once: A dorky, kind dad instaed of any degree of lunatic. That being said given his character her’s last name is Chang, I can’t help but think this and community are in the same universe and that the Changs have just had to put up with whatever insane phase Senor Chang was going througha t the time every time he visted. I mean i’d love to hear Sid tell ronnie anne the time her uncle came over in a napoleon outfit and revaled he’d taken over his community college with the help of a bunch of children.  But i’m getting off topic, I gots an episdoe to cover and out of the ones I watched this felt both like a great re-introduction into the cast and was easily one fo the best with a great emotional core and great jokes and LOTS to dig into. So i’ve jawjacked enough, pitter pater. Again!

It’s with this episode we properly meet Arturo Santiago, Ronnie Anne and Bobby’s father, Maria’s ex, and owner of one hell of a beard. Ronnie mentioned him back in friended aka the pilot because fuck that airing structure but not the time or place for that moving on. 

We see he video chats his daughter once a day, though today she made hte mistake of doing so on a crowded subway while with her best friend and future wife Sid. NOW we can talk about Sid. Sid was introduced in Friended! over on the loud houd house as part of that mini arc I keep yelling about and will again and again. Sid is Ronnie Anne’s clyde: A best friend whose there as her sidekick, emotoinal support and resident goofus, being a bit of a weirdo and given i’m a giant ass weirdo, you can see why I like her/want to keep her safe from the nightmare that is at last half this fandom. Plus she and ronnie anne are adorable together and have more chemstiry than she and lincoln did.. thoguh the two do have OT3 energy together in his one episode, but that’s for another time. 

Anyways as Sid helps her rangle wifi by them by doing the mecha shiva we soon find out Arturo is coming home! Home lord he’s been off in Peru for too longggg. Point is Ronnie Anne is excited, Bobby is excited, everyone’s excited except for Hector who hates him.. and honestly I can see why the contrast. For everyone else, Arturo is a charming, friendly guy who genuinely loves his kids and only is away from them because he has a lot of important work to do and even with that is still an active part of their lives. Buuuut Hector likely sees it diffrently and is likely homing in more on the fact Arturo is barely there in person for his kids and left Maria to do all the raising them by herself, with her own demanding job.  It’s not a black and white situation is what i’m saying and.. I genuinely love that. It’s a complex thing to deal with: A parent who isn’t there for his kids but it’s hard to say if he’s being selfish or not. He’s not david from roseanne doing this so he can feel good about not wanting to deal with being a father or the death of his brother, Arturo genuinely just wants to help those who need him, even if he has to sacrifice a lot to do it.  Ronnie Anne naturally wants him to move here though and convince him during his visit, and her plan nicely shows off the duality of her charcter: She’s clever and can easily think things through, as his originzation has it’s home office in Great Lakes City so he could still help those in need, just more from the organizational end, as well as i’m assuming GLC’s own homeless and needy. But she also has an 11 year olds understading of complex issues and thus thinks the easiest way to convince him is to take him on a fun daddy daughter day that will make him love the city. Bobby is less optimistic about the plan though.. and that’s because he’s been through this with Arturo already. Granted his job for him was at weenier on a stick because it’s bobby, the boy is a peach of a human being but has the plkanning skills and common sense of a basset hound on qualudes.  He just sugest she enjoy the time. And this says a lot about BOBBY too: He’s used to his dad being out of his life, he’s probably been gone for most of it and while he loves him, he’s had ot get used to the fact he’s probably never going to be regularly in his life and while he understands why his sister’s trying this he wants to spare her the pain he went through. It’s interactions like this that to me show the series at it’s best and what it could be: deeper character interactions that really let the characters and voice cast shine, that still mix well with the usual nonsense.  Arturo arrives and everyone loves him.. and again it’s easy to see why: he’s kind, friendly and to the kids, he’s their cool uncle who lives in another country and as someone with one of those, It does feel neat. Hell he was my cool uncle when he just lived in chicago or seattle, but somehow he had to top those by moving to fricking ireland. So I get where they come from and really relate to it.. I mean I met mine in high school, my family tree is complicated, but still.  So while everyone but Hector is happily remeetinmg their uncle Maria shows up. And it’s awkward, the two not knowing how to greet each other, but it’s very obvious Maria and Arturo are on good terms, it’s just hard when theres so much history there.  Speaking of Maria let’s talk about her since this is one of her only scene’s this episode. Maria is one of my faviorites. She isn’t used a ton, but this is more excusable than it is with the Casagrande parents, as the whole point of Maria uprooting her kids to Great Lakes City was to give them company and someone to take care of them while Maria worked the long and varied hours of being a nurse. She’s a good parent, who just picked a rough career, and made the hard decision to uproot her kids, not for her sake, as it can’t be easy living with both your elderly parents, your sister and her husband not to mention 5 kids, a giant adorable pupper and an obnoxious parrot, but so they’d be happy.. which given Ronnie Anne went from having no friends and largely having to be the rock in the house, to having a sizeable friend group plus her cousins, as well as generally being happy while Bobby went from bouncing from job to job to running the family buisness and planning to expand it when he gets older. She’s a good gentle person who still makes time for her kids, and I wish we saw more of her with her spotlight episode, which was about Ronnie Anne trying to spend more time with her, being one of my faviorites so far. I also like the fact that for once in a cartoon a parent with a time sink of a career isn’t demonized for trying to put food on the table and rather than just quit or have a mean boss or the usual cliches, Maria just found a way her kids wouldn’t be alone. She’s awesome.  Ronnie Anne first tries showing him how great the city is with home cooking and a warm bed, but the first while nice is something he still gets, and the latter in a nice touch is just.. too soft for him. Ronnie meant well, but understadably he’s just not used to it and makes a cot under the stars instead.. he’s not trying to be ungreatful, he’s just sued to it. 

Anyways Ronnie indeed takes him on a montage, with some cab headbonks beacause why use an uber that’s cheeper and safer huh? Anyways our father and daughter do have a montage, and hector gets beaten up by a luchadore because this promotion apparently dosen’t get not to attack the crowd. They really need to stop booking that guy.

Ending on our article image, which is really sweet and a real beautiful shot, Ronnie Anne finally gets to her Ronnie Plan. First Arturo cycles through two diffrent assumptions about what she’s asking him about. He first thinks she’s about to tell him about a special boy or girl in his life, his exact words. He backspaces to include that. She says no which.. I guess okay you have other things in mind but you can’t put off him meeting Sid forever. That aside I do think it’s a good indication Ronnie Anne might be bi, and both her parents just easily accepted it which is great. I could be reading too much into this, and I probably am, but I’ve thought I was before on nickeodeon and look how legend of korra ended. 

The next is just hilarious as Arturo tries to let her down gently that he’s not getting back with maria which Ronnie Anne agrees with and was not remotely her point, but I do like as it shows their well and truly done, and it’s nice to see that sort of dynamic with a divorced couple in fiction where it’s not because of lingering sexual tension or anything, just that their apart but have kids to think about and presumibly the split was amicable if again still awkward. Finally Ronnie asks him.. but he gently refuses, since the people he helped need him as much as he wants to stay.. but part of what makes Arturo likeable, especially since he’s in the REALLY throny situation of not being in his kid’s lives in person despite having the opprountiy now, is that he genuinely tries to compromoise, saying he’ll try to up the calls to two a day, and he’ll visit more often. Ronnie Anne sadly and half heartdly says it’s fine and walks off.  So Ronnie Anne vents to that girlfriend she apparently dosen’t have that he cares more about her patients than him and Sid sidgests that part of that is simple: He dosen’t feel she and bobby need him since, as I pointed out earlier, their doing better than ever. So Ronnie Anne intitates a second Ronnie Plan: to convince him she’s a troubled youth and get him to stay and reasssmbles her cousins to help.  Before we move onto this plan that’s totally a good idea and not a borderline Zach Morris evil scheme, let’s talk about those cousins real quick. Quick fire: CJ is really great, a sweet kid and I wish they’d use him more and generally do nto get why they don’t, Carlota is fine but not all that defined at this point but Alexa PenaVega tries.. and why yes it is kinda weird Carlos PenaVega’s wife and the former star of spy kids is playing his sister. And Carl.. I don’t likes him. I just don’t. He did give me a really good episode, which we’ll be covering next month, but he’s just a little asshole with out the charm of fellow little asshole Louie Duck, who alsos cams people but actually gets consqeunces more often. 

That quickfire done Carl does a forgery which depsite me being eh on him, clearly, is a funny bit, to make Ronnie Anne look like she’s failing, but that fails as you’d expect when he can help her with that from Peru.  So it’s on to the actual plan: Which really boils down to this. 

I mean.. that’s essentially the plan convince him she’s running with a dangerous crowd and is breaking bad, dressing up in punk clothes and making a scene at breakfast. She also gets a really neat new haircut, similar to luna’s but spiky which.. why isn’t this her normal hair? and why dosen’t she at least keep the cool leather jacket? I always get annoyed when a character’s temporary costume change is even better than their default design and htey fail to realize it but whatever.  IT starts to work a little but clearly a breakfast tauntrum won’t be enough so Ronnie Anne enlists Sid.. who is frightend,d osen’t recognize her and dosen’t want to get shoved into a locker. .. who hurt you.. tell me.. I have a box to deliver. Just let me pop a quick H on there real quick. 

Anyways, once Sid realizes “Oh that’s not a bully come to shove me in a locker that’s just my girlfriend in the middle of a zack morris grade elabroate manipulative scheme”, which happens once a week their fine, she comes up with one last plan: Have her friends, who are neat but need more filling out, dress up like punks bullying her friend sameer.  This plan.. makes no sense. For one she was already a bully back home.. granted it was because she liked the kid, which no just no, but it’s heavily implied she did the same to the rest of the lincrew too. .which aside from Rusty isn’t a good look. I mean his face is punchable and he mocked hte idea of them being together despite next season hitting on Lincoln’s sisters, there’s a 1:1 chance he hit on her and she shoved him in a locker as is the natural response to anyone getting asked out by that goober. No matter how hard the show tries to pretend that didn’t happen it did. If her bullying kids didn’t get him to move home back in royal woods it won’t work now. 

So they had behind the fish market for their plan, Arturo is directed there.. and sees through it. I mean she’s probably sent him pictures of her friends, he knows who they are and no amount of costumes is going to fix that. I mean you really only changed Nikki’s hair. Why not just have a dance fight. i’m legitly asking dance fights are rad and this reminds me of the venture bros episode where hank, to impress his date, has billy and white pretend to be a street gang to impress his date. Just do that for sid instead of trying to gaslight your dad into staying.  But no while he pulls her into the car, Arturo knows this was a stunt and asks why. When Ronnie Anne tearfully reveals she just wanted him to stay.. he hugs his child.. and agrees. He realizes that if she’s willing to go to these lengths to get him to stay, she must REALLY miss her papa. So he plans to call the office to transfer.  But then while helping her dad unpack, Ronnie Anne finds something and we get another emotional scene: Ronnie Anne finds the letters he got from the various kids he’s helped, and is moved to tears. Props to Izabella Alvarez for her performance here as she reads the letter and realizes just what her dad’s work does ,and why it means so much to him. He truly helps those who need it and she decides she can’t take that awy from it: Sure her dad won’t be around.. but other kids need her dad more. She has a big family, she misses her dad.. but she can live without her dad. They need a doctor. 

So Arutro heads out with a tearful goodbye and Ronnie Anne leaves him a scrapbook of their time together. We then cut to the Santiago sibs playing cards, and being sad about their dad and all that.. when Arturo calls.. and then shows up in person. He took the Headquarters job after all, though a close friend of his we met earlier in the episode but I ddin’t mention will be taking over in Peru, and from earlier clearly wanted to get back out in the field, so it all works out. And it’s a nice character moment; Arturo realizes while his work is important, and as mentioned he does make sure a compient replacment will continue it.. his family can be too and it’s okay to think of himself and them for once. As I said he’ll still be able to help just in a diffrent way and there are probably needy kids who need him here too, if not in the same ways obviously as a doctors without borders type project. So eveyrone shares a group hug and even Hector bursts into tears. And Maria comes in wondering what she missed whiel Sergio asks who wants to tell her. oh sergio.. why didn’t you stay away when you ran away in a future episode.  Final Thoughts: Not much more to say. It’s a well done episode with high emotinal stakes, great acting and some great jokes I didn’t get to, and while the plot of “Make absent parent stay by pretending things are bad’ isn’t new, it’s done well enough here. Overall just a really good episode that shows what this show can do and why it’s unique family setup makes for intresting stories a lot of shows can’t tell, and validates this spinoffs existnace. The episode also really fleshes out Ronnie Anne’s character, and givne Arutro’s been gone since the divorce if not longer, it’s resonable to supsect her earlier bullying might have been lashing out at her parents divorce. It’s just good stuff. Keep an eye peeeld to this blog for my regular loud house and ducktales coverage , and some more casagrandes this october. ANd until then, Go Team Venture!

#the casagrandes #ronnie anne santiago #arturo santiago #bobby santiago #maria santiago #sid chang #cj casagrande #carl casagrande #carlota casagrande #the loud house #reviews #animation

[dabble-writes]

Death’s Bride--(3)

| Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Pairing:

Namjoon/Reader

Summary:

You are a Seer. What is a Seer? A Seer is someone whose sixth sense is stronger than most people’s and can see Death. You did not want to be one, you just want to be normal—yet what happens when Death comes for you? No, not for you to die—for you to be his bride.

*Based on a novel I wrote before in Wattpad by the same title*

Tags:

Romance, Fantasy, Comedy

Warnings:

Alcohol usage, suggestive sexual content, questionable consent, violence

CHAPTER 3: DEATH ON EARTH

“Oh my goodness!” Your mother pulled you into a tight hug, tears in her eyes, “You’re safe!”

Her hold tightened and you could feel her sobbing, “you’re safe.” She murmured again, as if hoping that this was not a dream.

“I’m fine mom, really.” You murmured, though it was muffled because she was pressed so tight against you.

“I thought you were kidnapped, raped, or even dead!” She cried as she pulled away to study your face, “You haven’t been eating well.”

You bit your lip, feeling insanely guilty that you couldn’t tell your mother the truth and that you left her all alone. You wondered if she would understand, or if she would send you to a psychologist.

“…and right after mama died…it was too much pain.” Your mom burst into tears again and it pained you so much to see her like that.

Fuck it, so what if she thinks I’m crazy.

Before you could say a word though, she grabbed your arms and gave you a stern look, “Who took you, where did they took you, and when can I kick their ass?”

“Mom!”

“Y/N, dear, tell me.” For a woman of her size, she looked quite intimating at the moment.

You sighed as you lead her to the couch and sat down, “I don’t know where to begin—”

“From the beginning of course, silly.”

“—Or if you would believe me. Trust me, it’s some crazy stuff.”

Your mom squeezed your hand, “Try me.”

You took a deep breath, searching for the right words to say, “Well…to start off, grandma and I have been hiding something from you. Not on purpose,” you said quickly, “but because we didn’t know how to explain it or if we could tell other people.”

“You make it sound like you guys were in a cult. Wait, were you and mother in a cult and mother angered someone and they kidnapped you?”

“Wow, that actually sounds more believable than the truth.”, you admitted and she looked at you curiously.

“Just tell me, honey, I swear I’ll be as open-minded as possible.”

“Okay…”, you said, “…you know how grandma can sometimes tell the future and it’ll be weirdly accurate? Like the weather or a specific event in your day or something you just thought about? Or when she can pinpoint a person’s character by just looking at them?”

“Yeah, your grandma always had those eccentricities about her and she seemed to have taught them to you.”

“The reason she can do those things, among others, is because we are Seers. It’s not an official name or anything, just a name grandma came up with. Basically, our sixth sense is stronger than most people’s and we can see…usual things.”

“…I see.”

“You don’t believe me.” you accused.

“Hold on, I’m getting used to the idea! But it does make sense…still, it doesn’t explain why you were missing for weeks!”

“I’m getting there,” you answered, “well one of the things we can see is Death.”

“Death?”

“Actually his name is Namjoon, but don’t tell him I told you that. He’s a being that collects your soul when you die.”

“….and you lost me. So this Namjoon guy,”

“Death,” you corrected, regretting telling your mother his real name. He’s going to be so pissed.

“He collects souls when you die?”

“Correct. And takes you to his kingdom. Which is technically purgatory. And sentences you to work off your sins so you can enter Paradise.”

Your mother gave you a strange look, “Honey, you sure this isn’t a cult—”

“Please, mom, trust me,” you begged, “this is all real. I wish I could show you prove but the only way to do that is if you die—which I don’t want.”

“But you must understand that this is a bit hard to take in…”

“I get it, but that’s not even half of it.”

“There’s more?”

You nod, “So there’s this prophecy involving Namjoon and…me.”

“Now there’s a prophecy? Can’t you make it any more believable? Even the cult story is more believable than this!”

“I’m just telling you the truth.” You said defensively and your mom gave a sigh of resignation.

“What’s the prophecy?”

“What?”

“The prophecy. I’m assuming that’s why you were gone.”

You took a deep breath, “I’m not sure. I’ve only heard bits and pieces and what people have told me. It involves me marrying him—”

“What?” Your mother screeched, “You have to marry Namjoon?”

“…it’s complicated.”

“Do you even like each other?”

You made a face, do you? You know for sure he doesn’t, “Not really…but supposedly that’s the other part of the prophecy—that we’ll love each other or something like that.”

Then again, you couldn’t relay so much on the source since it was the traitor who said it after all. Thinking about it makes your blood boil.

“Still, for you to agree to that is ridiculous. Why would you do such a thing?”

You bit your lip, “I wanted to see grandma.”

“What?”

“I…just wanted to see her one last time. I figured that if I go with Namjoon I’ll have the opportunity to talk to grandma.”

“And did you?” Your mom perked up.

“No, I didn’t have the chance to yet. Everything is just so hectic and going on so fast.”

“I see. Did he manipulate you with your grandma to marry him?”

“Mani—no, it wasn’t like that. I mean, he did mention it—”

“That sounds like manipulation.”

“Okay, maybe he did a little bit, but he’s a victim of the prophecy as well. He’s tried to not follow it, but it never works out. Plus, in the end it was my decision. I do want to see grandma.”

You honestly didn’t know why you were defending Namjoon to your mother.

Her eyes softened, “I get that you wanted to see mother, but is it worth giving up your life here?”

You bit your lip, “Can I be honest, mom? It’s actually not so bad over there. Definitely boring, but not bad. I have a purpose. Here, I don’t really have a purpose. I’m not really good at anything and I don’t even like what I’m studying in school. I’m not particularly close to anyone here except for you and grandma so I wasn’t leaving much behind.”

“Oh honey,” She brought you to a hug, “How can you say that? Of course you have a purpose.”

“But maybe this is my purpose.” You answered, pulling away from her to look to her eyes. 

“If that’s what you think.” Your mom said with a sad smile, “I’ll support any decision you have.”

“Thanks mom.”

“So if you were happy there, how did you end up back here? Why aren’t you still wherever-the-hell-that-place-was?”

“Funny story….I, um, got kidnapped there.”

“You got kidnapped from your kidnapper?”

“I said I wasn’t kidnapped! I went there willingly. This time though…yeah it was kidnapped. Turned out it was Namjoon’s best friend and adviser, Jin, who wants revenge on Namjoon. I managed to escape, but got sent here so that I can be safe until Namjoon picks me up.”

Your mom stared at you, “That’s literally a soap opera.”

“Yes, well apparently I am now a main character in some soap opera.”

“This guy, Jin…is he dangerous?”

You frowned, “I’m not sure. But it didn’t seem like he was going to be making daisy chains with me though.”

“Did you got hurt?”

“Not really. I guess they were just waiting for Namjoon to arrive.”

“You know this sounds crazy.”

“I know.”

“And I’ll probably be a fool if I believe you.”

“Probably.”

She sighed, “But I trust you. You were never one for fantasies, always very logical. Maybe if I heard this from my mom I’ll be skeptical because she was always in the clouds and has a very vivid imagination, but you hold not one artistic bone in your body.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true, honey, don’t bother denying it. Remember when your grandmother tried to teach you to paint but it turned out to be a disaster?”

You winced, “She said it was fine, but it was a mess, huh?”

“The ugliest thing I ever saw.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“I’m only saying the truth. Don’t worry, your grandmother was disappointed when I didn’t inherit her passion for paint. I’m way too much like my father in that sense, I guess you got that too.”

You smiled, “So you believe me?”

“…tentatively. I will need evidence to support the truth, but I’ll let it be for now.”

“Thank you, mom.” You gave her a hug, “I really appreciate it.

“Oh!” Your mom suddenly let go and went to grab her phone, “I gotta call the police and tell them to call off the missing person case.”

“You went to the police?”

“Of course! You were missing, where else I’m to turn? Give me a minute.”

She started dialing a phone number as she walked out of the room.

“Officer Diaz? Yes this is Mrs. Y/L/N. Good news, my daughter is back home…”

Honestly that went better than I thought. I don’t think she believes me, but at least she’s humoring me and not sending me to an insane asylum or something.

You were innocently walking down the halls of your school when you heard a familiar voice.

“You have some explaining to do Y/N  Y/L/N !”

Lisa stalked the hall, narrowing her eyes at you.

You put on a cheerful smile, hoping to deter her, “Hey Lisa!”

“Don’t ‘hey Lisa’ me. What the hell happened to you?”

You sighed; your mom and you decided on a cover story for the police and anyone who asked.

“I don’t remember anything, Monica,” you said innocently, “the last thing I remember was going to the funeral.”

“They drugged you? What low-lives!” She exclaimed and pulled you into a hug, “I’m so glad you’re back though. It was really lonely without you here.”

Well that was easy, you thought.

You smiled and pulled away, “So what did I miss?”

“Besides that Spring Break is in a week? Jungkook and that long-term girlfriend of his broke up.”

“No way.”

“Yup, it just happened last week. It’s been the gossip of the school. Jungkook doesn’t seem so bothered by it.”

“Oh.”

It’s strange, if you heard this news before you left with Namjoon you would have been ecstatic. But you didn’t seem to feel much joy right now. Strange.

“Oh? Just oh? Hello, this can finally be your chance with him.”

“Me?” you asked, confused, “what about you?  I seemed to recall I wasn’t the only one to like Jungkook.”

“I’m willing to make the sacrifice for you. Also, I’m kind of seeing his friend Taehyung now so…”

You rolled your eyes as Lisa started to speak of how they met and how he asked her out.

“Anyway, never mind that right now, we need you to get ready for this party. I will not let you go in your usual getup.”

“What party?”

“What party? What party? Weren’t you listening to me just now? Jungkook is hosting a huge party at his house with his frat brothers and he invited me and you to come.”

“He asked me to come?” You asked, somehow not believing those words.

“Okay, he told me I could invite a friend but---:

You groaned, “Do I really have to do this?”

Parties really weren’t your thing. Especially frat parties. Even if Jungkook was there.

“Yes! And we are going to make you gorgeous. Come over my place tonight—”

“Wait, I thought the party was in a week?”

“And you think you are going to get Jungkook to notice you looking like that?”

“But I don’t—”

“We are so going to make Jungkook fall for you.”

You sighed, resigned to your fate. Maybe if you let her do this stupid ‘makeover’ on you she will leave you alone.

You checked yourself in the compact mirror Lisa gave you earlier and frowned. The “makeover” you had last night involved skin care, makeup, straightening your hair, and clothes for you to borrow. You honestly didn’t see the big deal, although you had to admit your face is pretty fucking smooth now.

“For the last time, you look amazing. Relax.” Lisa said as she snatched the mirror from you.

“I can’t relax when people are looking at me,” you answered back, “I keep thinking there’s something wrong with my face.”

Lisa just rolled her eyes and smiled brightly at a group of girls and walked over to them. You followed her and recognized them as part of her sorority.

“Hiya Lisa!”

“How’s it going, boo?”

“It’s been forever.”

“Lisa, you have to hear the latest news on Hyuna.”

The girls all greeted Lisa enthusiastically and Lisa was happily chatting with them. As for you, you just sort of lingered in the back since you didn’t really know these girls and weren’t quite comfortable. Yet it wasn’t long before one of the girls noticed your presence.

“Who’s this, Lisa?”

“Is she a new friend of yours?”

Everyone turned to you and Lisa was by your side.

“Girls, this is my friend, Y/N. She’s new to the scene so be nice.”

They smiled at you and began to ask you questions. They were nice enough but were a bit like Lisa in that they were boy-crazy.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” One of the girls, Rose, asked.

You thought of Namjoon but instantly pushed away that thought. We are not going out. It’s more like a…like an arranged marriage.

“No, not at the moment.” You answered and forced yourself to give a bright smile.

“Oh but you’re so cute.”

“We have to set you up with someone.”

“She’ll look cute with Yoongi.”

Inside you were panicking and looked at Lisa for help.

“Girls, I already have someone in mind for her.”

You nearly groaned, this was not the help I asked for.

“Really? Who?”

“Yeah, who?”

“Jungkook.”

They squealed.

“Good one.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty hot.”

“I heard he was a pretty good kisser and has a big dick.”

And I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that last remark, you thought. You looked at your phone and saw the time.

“Um, it was nice meeting you guys, but we have class in a few minutes.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Lisa said as if she just remembered that she goes to school, “Well, see you girls later.”

“Bye Lisa, and good luck hooking them up.”

“Yeah, good luck. I heard a lot of girls are waiting to get their claws on Jungkook.”

You waited until you were a safe distance away before you spoke to Lisa.

“What was that?”

“What was what?”, Lisa asked innocently.

“You want to hook me up with Jungkook! Why?”

“Look, you’ve had a crush on him since forever and I want to help you out like the good friend that I am. Plus you two would look so good together.”

“This has nothing to do with the fact that you’re going out with his best friend, Taehyung?” You asked.

“I mean, we could have some pretty fun double dates. But Tae has been mentioning to me that Jungkook is lonely so this is the perfect opportunity for you.”

“Oh so it’s Tae now?” You teased and she blushed.

“Stop changing the subject. Shouldn’t you be happy? You like Jungkook.”

You didn’t know how to explain to her that whenever you tried to think of Jungkook in any sexual situation, Namjoon’s face would pop up instead. That maybe you don’t like Jungkook so much anymore…because you like someone else.

No! You tried to shake your thoughts, you don’t like Namjoon. You are merely…attracted to him. Yes, he is very hot. Also it doesn’t help that since Jin told you about the prophecy, you wondered what it’ll be like to be with Namjoon…

“Yeah, I’m happy. I just don’t know if I’m ready…”

“Jeesh girl, I’m not telling you to marry him or anything. Just go to the party with him and enjoy yourself, that’s it.”

You sighed, “Lisa, I hate to burst your bubble, but why would you think he’ll ask me to the party?”

She grinned, “You’ll see. We have biology now.”

You gave her a puzzled look, “And?”

“And Jungkook has that class with us.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

Lisa just gave you a confident smile, “Just sit in your seat and look pretty, I’ll fix everything up.”

You both walked into the class and took your seats. The professor came in and smiled at the class.

“Today is going to be another lab, so pair up with your lab partner and complete the lab sheet. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.”

You turned to Lisa, who is normally your partner, but found she was no longer next to you. So you started to look around the room and noticed Jungkook coming towards you. You had to admit, as you watched him approach you, he really was easy on the eyes. Easily one of the handsomest man you’ve seen in your life.

“Hey.”, Jungkook smiled at you, looking all adorable. He didn’t have dimples though, like Namjoon.

Stop thinking about Namjoon!

“Hi.” You answered, not sure what to say. It’s not every day a very hot guy comes up and talks to you.

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“That’s a beautiful name, it suits you.”

You blushed, not used to being complimented, “Thanks, I was born with it.”

He laughed and you felt your face grow hotter from embarrassment. Oh my god, I really am an idiot.

“I mean, what’s your name?” You said and wanted to smack yourself in the head.

You already know his name you dumb-ass!

“Name’s Jungkook.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Jungkook.”

Why oh why am I so fucking awkward?, you lamented. If Jungkook wanted to go out with me before, he definitely doesn’t want to now.

“So do you want to be my lab partner? Yours seemed to have stolen mine today.”

You looked at the direction he was looking at and sure enough Lisa was flirting with Taehyung. You internally sighed, so this was her plan.

“Yeah, she seems really into your friend.”

“Tell me about, I can’t get him to shut up about her.”

“Me either.”

“So, partners?”

“Sure, partners. Sorry about Lisa, she sometimes does things without thinking.”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. It’s good to switch things up once in a while. Plus, I wouldn’t have such a cute girl as my partner.”

He complimented me again.

You blushed and looked down at you paper, at the assignment you were supposed to do, “Um, you want to start?”

“Sure.” Jungkook said as he looked at his paper and you guys started to do the assignment.

Jungkook was actually not a bad partner and was very easy to talk to. When you finished the assignment and handed in your lab sheets, you walked out of the class together.

“Do you have somewhere to be right now?” Jungkook asked.

You thought of going home to an empty house, without your grandma, and said, “Not particularly. Why?”

“You want to maybe grab a coffee together?”

You shrugged, “Why not? I need some caffeine in my life.”

And a distraction. Jungkook seems like a good distraction, you thought.

You went to the coffee shop in the campus and ordered your coffees. It was nice and relaxing and Jungkook was very easy to talk to. You talked about school and what classes you were taking. Jungkook studies politics, which you thought was very boring but did not say to him. You then briefly discussed politics and then there was a lull in the conversation.

Jungkook then broke the ice again, “So I’m holding a party in my house next week, you heard about it?”

You nodded, “Yeah, Lisa won’t shut up about it.”

“Oh right,” He laughed, “Are you coming?”

You took a sip of your coffee, “Yup, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You couldn’t stop the sarcasm from seeping into your voice, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“Do you want to come with me?”

“You mean like a date?”

My IQ must have lowered since Namjoon took me because that was pitiful.

“Sure, if you want to call it that.”

Lisa would be ecstatic to hear about this development.

You suddenly felt a strange sense of guilt; wouldn’t this be betraying Namjoon? No, wait, you’re not even dating Namjoon. You don’t even like him. Of course it’s not cheating.

“Sure, I’ll go with you.”

Your first impression when you walked into the house was that there were too many people and that it was way too loud; you can already feel the headache that’ll plague you tomorrow morning.

You scanned the room for Lisa or Jungkook but couldn’t find them in the sea of faces. You began to feel more and more anxious; you didn’t know what to do.

Slowly, you made your way to the table filled with food. You can’t go wrong with food.

You pulled up your dress that Lisa insisted you wore. She said you looked hot in it, and you had to admit it did show your figure nicely. Still, who were you trying to impress? Jungkook? Sure, maybe. But deep down, you were a tiny bit disappointed Namjoon can’t see you like this.

And there you go thinking about Namjoon again, get a grip girl.

You picked up a Dorito chip awkwardly and started to nibble on it.

“And why is a fine lady like yourself doing by yourself in a place like this?”

You felt a blush make its way to your face and quickly turned around.

“Jungkook!” You said in relief, mostly because you couldn’t stand being here alone anymore.

You then were able to see him properly. It was undeniable, he looked pretty hot. His button-down shirt was tight fitting and the top buttons were not buttoned. His sleeves were also rolled up to show his nice, toned arms. His hair was perfectly styled, his hair pushed back with a few strands dipping unto his forehead. He gave you a sexy smirk.

“Yes, that’s my name.” Jungkook teased as he stepped close to you. You could smell his cologne, which was a nice change from the weed and sweat you could smell in the room.

“You look very gorgeous tonight.”, he murmured in your ear.  

You felt yourself grow hotter by the minute and willed yourself to not stutter like a middle schooler, “T-thank you.”

You then heard your name being called. You scanned the room, wondering who could possibility call your name. You saw Lisa making her way towards you with seven-inch heels on.

“All I’m saying, Lisa, is how that takes real skill.” You commented dryly as you pointed to her shoes.

Lisa laughed, “This is a skill that took many years to perfect. Do you want a drink?’

She held two plastic cups and offered one to you. You smiled and accepted the drink, even though you weren’t that thirsty. Maybe some liquid courage can help. Lisa noticed Jungkook next to you.

“Nice party, Jungkook.” Lisa greeted him.

He smiled and took a drink from his beer, “Yeah, it is a nice party.”

“Do you know where Tae is?” Lisa asked and Jungkook shrugged.

“He might be out in the back playing beer pong with some of the other brothers. You might want to try there.”

“Alright, thanks.” Lisa said and turned to me, “You good?”

You force a smile; you hated it here but didn’t want to disappoint Lisa. Maybe being with Jungkook will make things better.

She took your smile as a ‘yes’ and said, “Okay, enjoy yourselves. I’ll see you later.”

Lisa gave a little wave and walked to the direction of the backyard.

You took a cautious sip of your drink. It took everything in your power to not cough; vodka was not really your style. It tastes like rubbing alcohol. You took another sip, not wanting to seem like a wimp in front of Jungkook, but you ended up coughing.

“You don’t have to drink that if you don’t want to.” Jungkook said and you blushed.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Kind of, but that’s okay; I’ll let you off the hook because you’re so cute. Do you want a beer instead?”

This caused your face to heat up further and you knew you couldn’t blame it at the alcohol. He offered you a beer and you took it.

“Thanks.” You said gratefully as you deposited the vodka cup on a nearby table, “So what does one do in these kind of parties?”

“Drink, flirt, dance, the usual.” Jungkook said casually, “Do you want to dance?”

You saw him finish his drink and grab another beer. You took a sip. Still tastes terrible, but at least it didn’t burn your throat like the vodka.

“Well I’m not such a big fan of dancing…”

“It’s really easy,” He said, “You just have to move your body to the music, it’s not like we are ballroom dancing or any of that shit.”

You bit your lip, debating on whether you want to be in a sweaty crowd of people with horrible music pounding in your ears. On the other hand, you don’t want Jungkook to get bored and leave you all by yourself.

He sensed your dilemma, “Look I can teach you, it won’t be that bad.”

“Alright.” You found yourself saying.

You frowned, I must not be thinking clearly, but followed him to the dance floor and drowned the rest of the beer.

It was hot; there were so many bodies in the dance floor you could barely move. Jungkook was pressed close to you and you weren’t sure if you liked it or hated it. He brought your hands around his neck.

“Place your arms here.” He said and you can feel his silky hair on the back of his neck. He then placed his hands on your hips and brought them against his. Oh my.

“Now just move your body to the beat of the music.” He murmured against your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

You tried to get into the mood of the music and move your body, but you just felt awkward. Jungkook gave you a few more pointers, but they didn’t seem to help. You were too self-conscious. 

“Just let loose, forget what anyone has to say.” Jungkook murmured, his hips grinding into yours and you dropped your hands from his neck to grip his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you confessed, “I’m just comfortable bumping and grinding.”

“It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Your smile was a bit forced as he tightened his hold on you and made you feel a bit uncomfortable. Jungkook was nice and all, but sometimes he would get carried away and you have to remind him to not get carried away. Like now.

“Jungkook?”

“Yeah?”

“Please remove your hands from my ass now.”

He quickly took them off, looking embarrassed.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize—”

“It’s okay, just don’t let it happen again.” You said.

Namjoon wouldn’t have pressured you to dance, that annoying little voice in your head said. He wouldn’t need to be reminded to keep his hands off of you.

Yeah, I highly doubt he dances or does any fun things at all, you argue back, Plus, he wouldn’t touch me because he doesn’t feel that way to me at all. At least I know Jungkook is attracted to me.

Dancing isn’t fun for you, so isn’t that a win-win?, the little voice continued, plus, according to the prophecy—

The prophecy is bullshit.

You ignored the voice, you didn’t want to think about Namjoon when you were with Jungkook. You danced for a bit more, but between the music and the alcohol you developed quite a headache.

“Jungkook, I have a headache. Can we stop dancing?”

“Sure, are you okay? Do you want me to take you home?” Jungkook asked, sounding very concerned as he led you away from the dance floor.

“Nah, I’m fine. I just need to sit down a bit.”

You looked around but all the chairs were taken and the couch was being used for…other stuff; you made a face.

“I can take you upstairs since all the seats down here are taken?”

You bit your lip and nodded, the alcohol not helping with this headache of yours, “Okay then.”

You rubbed your temples, reminder: don’t drink alcohol, it seems to not agree with me.

As you start up the stairs, you thought you saw Namjoon’s concerned face in the crowd but when you looked again you didn’t see him.

I must be imagining him since I’ve been thinking about him, you thought, what’s wrong with you? You have a perfectly hot boy in your reach and you’re thinking about some magical being who doesn’t even like you? Grow up.

You were on the second floor and there were several people around—mainly couples making out—and you started to grow a little wary.

“Maybe we should go back downstairs.” You tried to get out of his grasp but he held on.

“Are you sure?”

A little voice in your head said that this was a very bad idea, but it was very faint. The pounding in your head was making it hard to hear that faint voice.

“…I don’t know.” You said truthfully as you looked at a couple making out next to you. You didn’t really want to go back down there with all those people.

He noticed that you were uncomfortable by this atmosphere and said, “We can go to my room, if you want to. There shouldn’t be anyone there and you can rest.”

Some peace and quiet sounded pretty good right now, so you nodded. He led you to a more secluded part of the house and opened the door to what you assume was his room. He fumbled for the light switch and turned it on.

The light wasn’t good for your headache and you winced. Jungkook noticed.

“Would you rather I turned off the lights?”

“Maybe.” You admitted and he turned off the lights. The was a little light coming from the window, so you weren’t in complete darkness. Your head felt like it was splitting in half and you walked to the bed so you can sit down. Jungkook followed and sat next to you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He brought his hand to your forehead and your face started to heat up at the contact, “Do you want an aspirin or something?”

“I’m not sure if I should have an aspirin if I had alcohol..” You admit, “But maybe if I just drank water it’ll be fine.”

“Oh, I think I have a bottle here.”

He got up and search around his desk to find an unopened bottle of water.

“Here you go.”

You gave him a grateful smile, “Thanks. You should probably head back to the party though, they probably miss you out there.”

“Nah, they’ll be fine.” He smiled and you opened the bottle and drank it.

Water did help, but your mind was still fuzzy from the alcohol.

“Did that help?”

“A little, thanks.”

“That’s good”, Jungkook leaned closer and you just realized how close he was to you.

You nodded, “Yeah.”

He pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and he let his hand linger on your chin. His hands were soft and you didn’t necessarily hate the touch. He then leaned forward and brushed his lips against yours. You didn’t respond, frozen and not sure what to do. Should I kiss him? Should I slap him away? You were confused and you couldn’t keep your thoughts straight. He figured your frozen state must have been some sort of consent because he added pressure unto your lips, which your mouth automatically responded to. He let out a hum of approval and his hand traveled from your chin to the back of your head, bringing you closer.

Jungkook broke the kiss, his eyes filled with lust as he licked his lips.

“You taste so good.”

You couldn’t think straight between the alcohol and the lust, your breath heavy and your heart racing.

He kissed along your clavicle and found a sensitive spot. You made a noise as started to lick and suck that spot.

“Namjoon.” You moaned and Jungkook stopped.

“Who’s Namjoon?”

Oh shit. That sobered you up a little.

You blushed, embarrassed at your slip up, “He’s no one.”

“Doesn’t sound like no one.” He murmured against your neck and you bit your lip.

“It’s…complicated.”

“Well I don’t like it when I’m with a woman and she says some other man’s name. But don’t worry, soon I’ll have it that the only name you can even think of is mine.”

He brought his hand to your bare knee and started to stroke your skin, reaching higher and higher—

“Jungkook, stop it.” You said, grabbing his hand to push it away, but he used his other hand to hold you hand down.

“C’mon, just a moment ago you really liked it.”

“Yeah, I wasn’t in my right mind.” Finally, your head was clearing up and you realized you got yourself in a tricky situation.

He pulled away and frowned at you, “What do you mean?”

“I…I’m not sure I want to do this.”

Jungkook brought his hand to stroke your face, “Is it because of that Namjoon? Do you like him?”

“No, I just—”

“Then don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel so good.”

His free hand grabbed your breast and started to knead them harshly from on top of your thin dress. You gasped.

“Please—”

“You’re not even wearing a bra. It’s like you were expecting something to happen tonight.”

More like Lisa told you that none of your bras fit this dress, you thought bitterly and were about to say so when he kissed you again.

He pinched your nipple and you yelped, trying to shove him away from you but he was really strong. Guess those muscles are legit.

“Jungkook, I—”

“Shh,” He murmured, pressing his fingers against your lips, “Don’t talk too much.”

You started to get angry, if he doesn’t get his hands off you—

You heard the door slam open and you both jumped.

“Get off her.”

You blinked.

You didn’t imagine that voice.

You slowly turned to the door and saw Namjoon standing at the doorway, looking furious.

“Dude, chill.” Jungkook said, a bit annoyed, “You’re sort of interrupting something.”

“I said let her go.” Namjoon repeated, walking towards us.

“Fuck off man, this is none of your business—”

Namjoon grabbed Jungkook by the collar, “It is my business what you do to my bride.”

“Your bride?”

“Namjoon, stop.” You said.

“Oh so this is Namjoon?”, Jungkook laughed.

You blushed, remembering your slip up. You were also a bit scared; this was the angriest you’ve ever seen Namjoon; he looked so scary. And hot. Wow, the alcohol must still be in my system because what the fuck.  

“I’m warning you.” Namjoon said.

“What? Obviously you can’t satisfy her if she’s coming to me for some—"

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence, Namjoon peeled Jungkook off you and punched him in the face. Jungkook tries to fight back, but this seemed to agitate Namjoon further and he doesn’t stop hitting him. 

“This should teach you the meaning of consent.”, Namjoon growled as he landed another punch on Jungkook and you winced. You realize that if Namjoon doesn’t stop now, he’ll legit kill Jungkook.

“Namjoon! Stop!” You grab his arm, trying to calm him down.

Namjoon turned to you, about to yell at you for stopping him, when he sees the tears in your eyes. You didn’t even realize you were crying. His gaze immediately softens and brings you to arms, trying to comfort you.

“Let’s go home.”

You nod, realizing that you have started considering his palace as your home.

“Let’s go.” You said softly and he teleports you back, holding you firmly in his arms.

When you arrive, he let’s you go, much to your disappointment. He studied you.

“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”, he asked softly and you were struck at this different side to him. Since when was he so...gentle?

“I’m fine.” You said simply and his eyes narrowed to a spot on your neck.

“What’s that?”

You brought your hand up to hide it, but he took your hand and moved it away. He studied the mark, which probably started to bruise already, and lightly touched it with his fingertips. You couldn’t help but shiver at the light touch.

“I could kill him for that.”, his tone was hard.

“Don’t.” You said, “It’s not worth it.”

He looked at you, nodded, then looked away.            

“Well, I should be g—"

You then remembered something.

“Wait, why am I here? What happened to me being ‘safer on earth’?”

“I didn’t count the dangers of humans.”, Namjoon muttered, “If you’re here with me I can protect you better anyway.”

You couldn’t help it, your heart warmed at those words.

“Thank you for saving me,” You murmured, “I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come.”

He gave you a small smile and you could see those adorable dimples, “Of course I came for you, you’re my bride.”

A/N

Wow, that dance scene was kind of inspiring. May have to write a drabble with Jungkook now with a proper dance scene. Also, sorry that this was so late, I’m literal trash  

#namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #bts fanfic #bts x reader #fantasy!bts #death!namjoon #death's bride #namjoon #rm #bts #jungkook #jungkook fic

[incmorata]

A Tragedy In Six Parts

Self Para / Past

ACT I

                  It was a particularly hot day in Chicago when Sierra steps into the doctor’s office. For the last couple weeks she’d been feeling sick. Overcome with nauseousness that would overwhelm her, mostly in the morning but would be easily triggered throughout the day. School was finally over, Sierra no longer shackled by the confines of the daily, mundane routine that was high school. She barely graduated, never caring enough to put forth the effort. Always more focused on her social life and whatever extracurriculars that came along with them.

Most kids her age would be thinking about college but Sierra’s mind is on a summer vacation. Basking under the sun at the French Riviera, shopping in Paris. Most importantly, being home on a more consistent basis meant she’d get to see and spend more time with her brother. Which, honestly, is another reason she wasn’t particularly fond of getting out of the house and going to college like her older siblings. 

The only thing that could stifle those plans is this pesky summer flu bug that’s rearing its ugly head. Her name is called, Sierra grabbing her bag and heading into the room. Hopping up onto the examination table. She thinks nothing of it, going down her list of symptoms, letting the doctor examine her without thinking anything serious of it. An hour or so later, after a few blood tests, the beginning of what would turn Sierra’s is triggered. 

“I understand why you would think you have the flu but after hearing your symptoms, we ran an additional test just in case.” The doctor begins, causing Sierra to look on in confusion. “Miss. Calhoun, you’re seven weeks pregnant.”

Her eyes go wide, feeling like the world around suddenly comes to stop. Looking back at it now, she couldn’t tell you what emotion ran through her veins. Worry? She was eighteen and pregnant, of course that was a reasonable reaction. Excitement? Which was naive, she wasn’t qualified to be a mother, but the thought of a child -- their child in a fantastical sense felt like a shred of hope...happiness that only he could provide her. 

It never occurred to Sierra -- at least not until her life blew up into a million pieces way later -- that going to the doctor would be easily be trackable to her family. That they donated a fucking wing to the hospital and that within a few days, Leonard Calhoun would get a call that would break client-patient confidentiality notifying him of his daughter’s indiscretion. 

ACT II

                  Happiness is short lived. A few day window of a false sense of peace and a blissful naivety that can only be blamed on age. She’s more careful the second time around, although the damage is already unknowingly done. Going down to the other side of town, the more risky areas she’d never set foot in on a regular basis. A place where she’d normally look down on the girl’s who walked inside of here -- that’d she’d stereotype as poor and unloved.

Not her, not Sierra. Alistair’s been distant as of late, more moody than usual but she has the feeling her news would bring him back to her. That whatever bullshit that hack of a doctor is feeding him would wash away. He loves her, she knows it. There’s no way they could stay apart after this. They could be together, for real this time.

Eloise Wyatt -- her middle name and mother’s maiden name is the pseudonym she goes under. Unlike before, she gets onto the examination table with more certainty. Allowing this doctor to do a full check on her and the growing baby inside of her, it’s there she learns the baby can be described as looking like a tadpole. 

“Do you know the father?” The doctor asks, clearly out of concern because probably a handful of girl’s coming in here without any clue of who the father is. Not her, not Sierra. Fooling around with a few guys at school never went beyond heavy petting, her desire only saved for Alistair. No one’s touched her in that way since he came into her room late one night and took her, making him her first. A few times since then, she’s taken matters into her own hands, unable to stop the desire and love she feels for him. Only wanting him. “Yes, but he wasn’t able to make it today. He’ll be here the next time.” She responded, sure of herself and ignoring the skeptical look from the doctor.

With the mother’s health in good condition, now it was time to check on the baby. Sierra lays back, lifting up her shirt, heart beating erratically. A cool gel is applied, making her shiver and the instrument follows, moving around her stomach, giving some discomfort to Sierra. It takes a few moments -- although it feels like a lifetime -- but the thudding sound of an heartbeat fills the air.

Her eyes begin to water, the smile on her face involuntary. The view on the monitor looks like a lot of nothing but the doctor points out where the baby is. “Do you know what it is?” Sierra asks, eyes still fixated on the screen, somewhat in awe. “Not yet but you’ll know soon.” Her head nods absentmindedly. “I bet it’s a girl.” Sierra  turns back to the doctor. “Would you like a picture?” 

With a bag filled with vitamins that are shoved to the bottom of her purse, Sierra walks out of the clinic clutching onto the ultrasound and not letting it go until the car pulls up to the house. It then too meets the bottom of her bag but handled with much care, only retrieved when she’s back in her room and safely put away in her bedroom nightstand.

ACT III

                  The timing couldn’t be anymore perfect. She’d been away, a few friends from school meeting up to enjoy the beginning of summer before they all went their separate ways before college. She was supposed to be gone for the rest of the night but feeling sick was good enough excuse to want to go home. Plus, she finally felt like she could muster up the nerve to talk to her brother.

Sitting in the back seat of the town car that usually drives her around, in the distance she could see some movement at the front of the house. Usually, she adores the long driveway that leads up to the massive estate that is known as the Calhoun’s home. But instead, it feels her with panic and dread as she sees a tall, lanky figure come out of the front door while maids are carrying bags.

“What’s going on!?” Sierra panicked, hands immediately going to the door and trying to unlock it but unable to do so. “Stop the car! Let me out!” It’s as if everything is moving in slow motion, she sees Alistair get into the car and the lights flash. And now she’s beating against the window, unable to open that as well. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she feels helpless as the car he’s in begins to pull away as she pulls up. “ALISTAIR!” She screams but it goes unheard as the car begins to drive around the large fountain. The car comes to a stop, making the doors unlock and Sierra jumps out of the car. 

“What did you do?” The question is geared towards Damien who is standing there but she doesn’t wait for an answer. Their eyes lock and they both know Sierra is aware of what’s going on. Despite how she acts, they both know Sierra is smarter and more intuitive than what she looks. Not waiting for an answer, Sierra, goes running in the direction of the car. It’s already got a good head start and she’s sure the cars been instructed to drive away as quickly as possible, but that doesn’t stop Sierra.

Even pregnant, she still has the vigor of an eighteen year old as she goes bounding down the long driveway. “AL!” She screams, mostly into the void. The  estate takes up a large amount of land, which meant there weren’t any nosy neighbors to peer out of their windows to see a sobbing Sierra Calhoun calling out her brother’s name. It also meant there was a long stretch of road that was empty and endless. 

“STOP! PLEASE!” Sierra cried out, voice burning and hoarse from all the yelling. Her legs are still going despite the exhaustion, every step she takes feeling heavier and heavier. The distant red light on the back of the car is longer seen in the night, but she’s so damn persistent she doesn’t want to admit defeat and stop. “AL! COME BACK! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” The body wracking sobs make it harder to breathe. In between the yelling and the tears, she’s gasping for air but it does little to fill her lungs. Their still burning as she cries out to a person that’s no longer there.

Sierra doesn’t know how long she’s been running but, eventually, her legs give up. She drops to her knees, not caring that they’re now bloodied and bruised from the gravel. All she can do is cry, tears streaming down her face as she sobs out his name. “Al...please...come back...don’t leave me...”

ACT IV

                  It’s a while before anyone comes for her, finally catching up. The footsteps don’t fully register, Sierra so out of it as she could feel her heart crumbling into a million pieces. Arms a wrapped around her stomach, hunched over as she continues to cry.

The only thing that snaps Sierra out of the grief is that she realizes it’s Damien. “Get off me!” But already he’s picking her up, hoisting off the ground. Sadness turns to rage as she violently squirms and wiggles around in his arms. “How could you?! What did you do?!” Sierra screamed as he brought her back to the house. “How could you do this to me?! He’s all that I have! I love him!” She sobbed out. The notoriously vicious Calhoun is quiet, taking every slap and jab and whatever else the younger Calhoun throws at him. 

“No! Let me go!” She struggled, already exhausted but her defiance made her preserve. “Let me fuckin’ go, Damien!” Sierra screamed, becoming more and more irritable as she got closer to the house. They get to the house and in an attempt to kick the door shoot, Damien’s grip on Sierra loosens. Wiggling out of his hold, she runs into the house as he attempts to follow her, a loud voice booms throughout the house. “Leave her be, Damien.”

The words come from the mouth of Leonard Calhoun as he emerges from his office. Making his way towards his daughter whose face is flushed and mascara stained tears running down her face. “I hate you.” She spat out, chest heaving up and down. “You are vile and you make me fuckin’ sick. He is the only person in this godforsaken family who gives a shit about me and --.” Before she could get another word out, Leonard’s hand is grasping Sierra’s jaw. At 60 he’s not the spring chicken he once was, but still possessed enough of a firm hand to rule this house and get his point across.

“Enough with the dramatics. You are nothing but a spoiled brat, I should’ve sent you away when I had the chance.” His grip tightens, blunt nails digging into her cheeks as her father draws Sierra closer. “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out, Sierra? That you could keep that bastard of a child a secret from me?” His tone is low but lethal as he continues to talk. “The maids used to whisper about how easy you were but, Jesus, I didn’t think you’d whore yourself out to your own brother.” 

There’s a whimper that sounds from Sierra, his grip refusing to ease, making it hard for her to speak. “I...love him...” She grated out, to which Leonard all but growls before freeing his hold, it catching Sierra off guard to the point that her already weak frame crumbles to the ground. The gasp is audible from the few maids who were around and Damien already was about to take a step forward, ready to assist. “No, Damien, leave her. Leave her on the ground like the piece of filth she is.” Leonard snarls, looking down at Sierra one last time.“You disgust me -- both of you. Be glad this is the only thing that’s happening to you.” Leonard finished before turning around, heading back into his office, slamming the door shut, leaving her remaining on the ground.

ACT V 

                   It’s been a week since all hell broke loose in the Calhoun house. Despite Sierra’s best efforts, she couldn’t find out where Alistair was and the feeling of loneliness began to take over her with each passing day. Which made her even more reliant on the child growing inside of her.

Eight weeks.

Time is ticking away and everyone around the house is growing anxious because of it. She doesn’t leave her room, afraid that if she goes out they’ll take the baby away from her. The maids secretly leave food outside her room, mostly of concern and pity. She can’t hide away for forever, she knows that, eventually they’ll come for her but Sierra is trying to cling on for as long as she can. Part of her wishing...hoping that Alistair would come home and save her, like he’s always done for as long as she could remember. 

The door to the bathroom opens and immediately Sierra becomes frigid. She’s curled up in the corner of the bathroom, back pressed up against the wall, arms fiercely wrapped around her stomach as if that would protect her baby from them.

“Sierra...” The voice is soft, almost unrecognizable until the figure kneels down into view, making Sierra realize it was her older sister Sloan. They weren’t particularly close. The age gap between them wasn’t all that large but as they grew up, Sloan became colder and closer to Damien, and Sierra found solace in other ways...with Alistair. “You can’t stay here for forever.” Her hand reaches out to tuck a strand of Sierra’s hair behind her ear. It was odd hearing Sloan’s voice sound so warm...caring...and if Sierra didn’t know the woman so well, she’d almost think she’d care. “I know they sent you here.” Sierra stated, head lifting, gaze meeting Sloan’s. “No, I came on my own. I figured you needed someone right now.” Sierra probably wouldn’t believe but it was somewhat the truth. And whether she believed it or not, Sloan was convincing enough to get Sierra out of the bathroom and into a car an hour later, driving into the city and into a private doctor’s suite. 

Sloan’s hand is gripping tightly onto Sierra’s, the room dead silent as they waited. “You’re doing the right thing.” Sloan reassured, but Sierra’s unresponsive, a single hand resting on her un-protruding stomach. It feels like a lifetime but eventually her name -- her real name -- is called, signaling it was time. Her head snaps in Sloan’s direction, the look in her eyes almost pleading with Sloan to convince her to not go through with this. “Everything is going to be fine. Do you want me to go with you?” Meekly Sierra nods, Sloan giving a nod of reassurance before getting up and going into the back room.

The paperwork is nonexistent, the appointment never logged, the files from the first one shredded, the doctors and nurses paid off to never say a word, and with the flick of a machine, the procedure now done, it’s as if the baby never existed....

ACT VI

                     The ride back to the house is once again silent. Sierra’s head is resting against the window, awake but eyes lacking any sort of life to them. She’s looking out to the window but processing nothing, the feeling of numbness washing over her. She doesn’t even register that Sloan hasn’t let go of her hand, her sister occasionally squeezing or running her thumb across Sierra’s knuckles anytime she’d hear her sniffle. 

The front steps to the house remind Sierra of that night and the sadness pulls hers deeper into an inevitable depression. She can’t move, one of the guards coming out to help Sierra out of the car and bring her inside. Set into her bedroom, she remains still for a movement, unmoving. Slowly she’s feeling herself go numb, ready to shut down completely but there’s one thing she has to do. 

With every ounce of strength she has, Sierra rolls out of the bed. She opens up the nightstand drawer, blankly staring at that photo that rested at the very top. She’s hesitant to reach for it, but she does, hands shaking as it’s in her grasp. “I’m so sorry...” Sierra rasps out, eyes squeezing shut as a tear drops from them. The idea of motherhood was romanticized, Sierra not entirely sure if she wanted a child but it was theirs...it was the only thing left of him that she had left. Losing it felt like she had nothing left to live for, all she was left with was emptiness. 

Standing upright, Sierra leaves her room, padding down the long hallway before entering Alistair’s room. His scent hits her nose immediately. The clothes on her frame are shed, grabbing one of his shirts from the dresser drawer and letting it drown her frame as she heads towards his bed. Crawling under the sheets, the comforter wrapping around her is the closet she has to him being next to her. The ultrasound find its way under the pillow as she curls up, quietly crying until she can’t anymore and she fall asleep. 

She stays there for at least three months, the maids coming in to wash her, feeding her anything with liquid in order to keep her going.

A family function forces Sierra out of her depressed stupor, her presence required in order to keep up appearances. Mid-way through the party, Sierra stumbles across her father’s latest girlfriend doing a line of coke in the bathroom. 

And that is how Sierra discovered the newest love of her life and how she got the pain to go away...

#(self para) #(self para) sierra calhoun

[shiningforvixx]

170628 - Mata Hari Musical (Leo)

I didn’t get to see Leo arrive today because I was busyㅠㅠ But he was cute when he left (despite him wearing a hat and walking fast combined with no light). He was being careful to look at everyone when he passed by, and I love that. Plus his Instagram post was so sweet! (This is a very non-Leo post, so you’ve been warned.)

I ended up bringing a notebook with me today, so I might remember more about Act 1. Act 2 however may be another story;;

Spoilers abound (and it probably won’t make much sense if you haven’t seen the play because it is all out of order;;)

One of the best things about seeing plays/musicals multiple times is seeing the actors meld deeper into their parts and become more comfortable with the play, their role, and one another. Not even two weeks since opening night, you can already see this improvement. Also, when you have parts double or triple cast, like this one, you get an added layer of intrigue(?) Not only does each actor bring a new perspective to a character, but they affect the actors around them and how they play off each other. It probably seems obvious that the actor in a role changes how the role is played, but I feel like that is easy to forget when you only see one cast. (I think it’s great how everyone kept their own characterization as well because seeing others play the part could influence your interpretation of a scene or the entire character. That’s what separates the pros from the fish(??) I guess.)

This brings me to Ock Joohyun. I first saw her in Mata last year and fell in love. I liked her so much that I worried I wouldn’t like Sophie, but then she brought an entirely different charm to the character making choosing between them impossible. This year we have Cha Jiyeon with her own charm, but Joohyun stole my heart already. I have so much to say about her Mata, I don’t even know where to begin. It may be silly, but my jaw literally dropped a little when I saw how she handled her cigarette. Having been around theatre and having worked with fake cigarettes, I can tell you that it can be awkward to know how to hold and play with one *coughleocough* (I’ll grant that he already improved with that though). It wasn’t just the cigarette though, that’s just what got me paying attention. All of her stage business brought her character to life.

Not only was how she handled the props and filled her space, just her playfulness in general is so charming. As an audience member, I don’t know how you can leave the theatre without falling for her. (Not only with Mata either. Every role she plays, she brings her personal charm onto the stage with her.) Her playfulness is where Mata’s confidence seems to stem from, but it also creates this amazing chemistry with all the other actors around her who can’t help but react to her.

My last specifically Joohyun note is that her line interpretation is to die for. Part of it is she always enunciates very clearly, but it’s also clear that she knows — is — Margaret. She brings her character’s playfulness to her line delivery and also something of her Mata from last year. It’s as if she slipped back into the “body” of Mata, but put on another outfit. She managed to bring some of what made her a charming Mata Hari last year into her new Mata. (Her “I chased them away” when she first meets Armand was such a throwbackㅠㅠ)

Speaking of bringing in elements from last year, it’s fun to see the scenes that were mentioned in conversation brought to the stage. (Have I mentioned that?) But it almost feels like a little secret among those who knew the 2016 version. I wonder what it would be like to see only this one without having the comparison. Actually, an acquaintance mentioned it is a shame how Katherine (Ladoux’s wife) has practically disappeared. I agree and can’t help missing her song to persuade Ladoux to throw Mata under the bus, as it were. However, if I put myself in the shoes of someone who only saw the new version, would I even care that Katherine fades into the background?

I don’t know if it is a matter of chemistry with Joohyun and having acted with her last year, but I thought Narae as Anna did so much better than the first night I saw her?? Perhaps Mata being more playful brings the same out in Anna, but their banter made them feel more like a mother and daughter. Funnily enough, Mata sometimes felt like the mother in their relationship. When Mata makes Anna kiss her forehead after fighting, and when Mata protects Anna after being arrested, Mata seems more like the mother figure. In a way, that made their relationship even more relatable for me because sometimes I feel like the mother with my mom, haha. That kind of mother-daughter relationship can become fluid once the “daughter” is old enough.

I also like the contrast between Anna joking with Mata and her snap into a distant, non-feeling servant-character when Ladoux enters the dressing room. This really emphasized her dependence on Mata and her role in life as a background character. (Honestly, Anna is arguably the most tragic character in the play. She lived her life through someone else, whose life also was pretty darn tough, and then has to live on after the person she cared for most is killed. I literally teared up a bit just thinking of this. Anna’s life would make a great spin-off book like those fairy tales told from an unexpected character’s perspective.)

The way Armand (Leo) just throws out super depressing facts about himself and his past makes his character even more tragic. He’s already accepted his position in life (and death). He grew up used to being beaten, saw most of his pilot buddies die, figures he won’t see the end of the war, and as baby Armand would run out and watch the puppet show when his parents fought. Yet all of this he reveals as if saying he used to run on the track team. Experiencing all of that and still living each day makes me think that without all those outside factors, he may have turned out more like the sweet Armand of the 2016 version of the play.

Armand’s life view goes right along with the new version of the crash song (If You Fall). Last year I remember thinking that it was dumb of the men to be so excited and ready to go die, but this year with the tone of the play, placement of the scene, and Armand’s characterization it has a different feel. Armand has already seen his friends die around him for a year, so even though he knows his mission is suicide, he seems to have realized and accepted it’s his time to die as well. However, being a soldier he has to help his subordinates get over their fear and just do their duty because they have to follow orders anyway, so they may as well do it courageously.

This is all so out of order chronologically;; Jumping back to the hotel scene in Lyon (this is the name in English, yes?), I loved how Joohyun handled the marionette and talked about her past. When Armand says that the two of them are so different, she responds, saying they aren’t that different, by moving the marionette as if it were her then Armand moves like a puppet when he replies. As Mata— Margaret—tells the story of her past, she cradles the doll as if it were her Louisa (or is it Louise;;). This is one of those times that Mata feels paradoxically both childlike and motherly.

The hotel scene really highlights the chemistry between Ock Joohyun and Leo, but honestly all of their scenes together are a joy to watch because you can see how comfortable they are together. They seem completely at ease with each other, and their teasing is just super fun. It may be that Leo just got more comfortable in his role in general, but the way he hugged Mata in the hotel was much more like a person actually would hug another person without being an awkward kid about it. My last note about them is that the way they sing together is...what’s another way to say super fun? Leo definitely is one of those kids who likes harmonizing with others, so when the two of them sang together, there was that added element. (I’m 99% sure that’s not how he and Jiyeon sang together.) This vocal chemistry(?) was very apparent when they sang C’est Le Vie out on Mata’s rooftop.

Another thing about Joohyun’s Mata that I liked was how she showed her inner nervousness (and feelings in general) to the audience. In particular, during the German general’s party, we saw her nervousness about her mission and being a spy when a spy was announced to be at the party. The other time she did this (showing inner emotions) was when she got off the train in Berlin to go see Armand in the hospital. I nearly laughed at her slouching and lowering her voice so as to not seem like Mata Hari.

Skipping forward again, one thing I liked about Ladoux’s song lamenting his actions prior to the court scene (All That We Had To Do) last year was that because Ladoux was such a bad guy, the song really showed that he knew he had gone too far. It served to show he wasn’t all bad. However, in the new version we already know that, so the song is perhaps not as revealing.

As for the court scene itself, or rather Mata’s dance break during it, Joohyun’s space work made the meaning of dance to her obvious. (It may be cheating because I saw an explanation she gave about the scene, but her actions were so clear that I think it would have been apparent anyway.) It was as if Louisa had become dance for her as well as her source of inner strength. Watching Mata then (and later when she cradled the last bouquet of flowers Anna brought her) made me think of Margaret as a mother. Somehow, until seeing the play this time, I had never really given that much thought to Mata as a mother. Yes, she had a child, but it mostly felt like she had just buried that part of her deep inside. This time, her motherliness was a constant part of her, even having lost her child.

I don’t know if it was the actors or me, but it was as if my ears and eyes were open to the story and drinking it in. Because I was so focused, I thought I wouldn’t cry (as if the emotional part of me was blocked by my absorption of the story). My eyes teared up a little a couple times, but I was fine. However, when Mata cried at Armand’s death, emotion took back over and a few tears escaped. (Honestly, how can you not cry when Ock Joohyun does though?) And Mata’s “One Last Time” is so heartbreaking, especially the kiss she blows when she is finally shotㅠㅠㅠㅠ Actually, that’s one thing about the last version it was a same to see go. I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned this as well. Not having the circular aspect of the play, opening and closing with the firing squad scene.

Cast: 마타하리 - 옥주현, 라무 대령 - 문종원, 안나 - 최나래

#170628 #Leo #Taekwoon #Armand #Taekrmand #택르망 #mata hari #mata hari musical #vixx #starlight #fan account #ock joo hyun

[comicteaparty]

April 4th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on April 4th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Kamikaze by Alan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Kamikaze by lan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook~! (https://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

my favorite scene so far is probably the huge long sequence that follows the bomb explosion and markesha is running away. i love just how real and down to earth that scene is. like markesha doesnt magically come to her destiny or just treat what happened is nbd after suddenly becoming a ninja. nope, shes runs, like a normal person would do regardless if they were a runner or not, and is pursued. everthing about this sequence really carried this tension. cause in this moment she was not some future superheroine. she was a young woman terrified for her life. and it just felt so relateable.

keii4ii

I have several favorite scenes. One of them is Markesha's confrontation with Franco. The intro to that scene is thick with tension; I love the juxtaposition with the radio/music and could see it play like a movie in my head! http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/kamikaze/pg-2-gatekeeper/ Not to mention how it ends. It's the first time something works out right(ish) between Markesha and Orson. Due to the circumstances, the scene leaves a lot of distrust to be resolved, but it was nice to see that first step of working together. It struck a good balance of tension and a truce.

RebelVampire

another scene im particular to is that scene where markesha is standing on the rooftops debating whether she should work with orson or not. not only is it beautifully illustrated, but i really like the juxtaposition in the story. like showing her other opportunity leaving the city without her. cause once that caravan leaves, its really a no way out declaration. markesha is trapped whether she wants to or not.

i do love the franco scene for how it painted the world. cause in the opening sequence i was like, "come on this is the post apocalypse he seems the type to be packing a gun." and then boop, he pulled out a gun and i felt vindicated XD

but i just really appreciated how the character really acted in the worst way possible per expectation of the world

Carrie Tupper

I think this is the first time I've EVER heard any compliments toward Franco, period. xD

RebelVampire

i mean the dudes dead. so umm, no sense on spitting on his grave

Carrie Tupper

Fair enough, but I'm sure Markesha wouldn't mind.

RebelVampire

nobody should mind hes dead. especially the runner who originally was supposed to take the package. now theres a person who lucked the heck out.

Carrie Tupper

Ha, as Orson would say: "Indeed."

keii4ii

Also not exactly a scene, but one detail I really liked was the "fresh wild meat" store with the live rabbits. It's a nice nod to the rabbit... metaphor...? thingie, but I loved it for the little mundane worldbuilding bit it was.

Carrie Tupper

OMG YAY

I'm so glad you notices that Keii4ii!

noticed*

keii4ii

It helped that I saw such stores near me when I was growing up

Fried chicken places with live chickens in cages

Carrie Tupper

That whole bit was thrown is as a bit of a metaphoric way of saying, "Markesha's releasing the story into the world herself whether she realizes it or not."

RebelVampire

i appreciated too the subtle world building it did too. cause it both demonstrates in a small way how desperate everyone is for food while at the same time showing how theyve made everything work and are still able to operate somewhat the same as before

Carrie Tupper

I think it's interesting that y'all zeroed in on the tension/action bits. Most people tell me the parts they remember the most are those between Markesha and Toshi.

RebelVampire

i like seeing markesha and toshi interact, but at the same time theyre father and daughter. so at the end of the day theres probably gonna be love and hugs and theres kind of a safety net there where their relationship is concerned.

meanwhile everyone else is ready to put a bullet in markesha's head

minus like 3 people

keii4ii

I'm partial to child-parent conflicts so I've been more interested in Markesha's situation with her missing mom than with her dad.

RebelVampire

and one of those whose name is orson i dont trust

yeah i do like the tension between them regarding the mom. that definitely is a highlight since theyre both handled it so differently

keii4ii

Speaking of her mom.... that little problem they ran into with her DNA clearance thing (forgot what it's called/ what page it was on) is totally not suspicious at all, no sir.

RebelVampire

ill be more keen on their interactions later cause toshi was the one who really wanted markesha to take orson's job. but he also seems the most likely to go "wait shes doing what i didnt approve of that"

Carrie Tupper

Hahah "blacklisted bloodline"

RebelVampire

so that seems like a potential argument later

nah nobody did nothing at all

just a typo

never heard of the nin family

QUESTION 2. After avoiding it for a while, Markesha does agree to help Orson’s group. Do you think Markesha is finally settled on helping the group, or will she continue to panic and try to run for it? How do you think her first mission will go? Do you believe the first mission will help cement her motivations for helping Orson, or will it scare her away again? What do you think will happen when Markesha’s father finds out exactly what she’s doing for Orson? Further, do you think the Razors will figure out Orson covered for Markesha and was actually the one to deliver the bomb? If they do, what will they do to both Orson and Markesha? Finally, how do you think Markesha will mature and grow over the course of the story?

mathtans

I'll be here to comment shortly...

RebelVampire

hi math! take your time~!

Carrie Tupper

I think my personal fave scene is the one where Audrey and Orson butt heads in the 2nd episode. She's totally not down for this, thinks it's a bad idea, and I think it says a lot about Orson that he'll take that kind of talk around him. Like...he's not so iron fisted he won't hear someone drag his ideas for the desperate moves they are.

Hi, hi, Math!

keii4ii

Yeah, Orson never struck me as controlling, just really adamant

RebelVampire

orson is one of those characters where i dont know if i should love them or hate them. but like in the good tense way that keeps me on edge. hes this perfect blend of being a cool dude while at the same time kind of being a jerk.

mathtans

Only made it through the first two episodes, but of those, I think my fave scene is actually when Markesha rubs the rabbit talisman and leaves, and beat panel, and then Toshi does after she's gone. The sort of thing that you could have totally skipped over, but gave much more weight to his character early on, in my mind.(edited)

RebelVampire

yeah that was a beautiful pause

cause it really said so much about toshi in that moment

and just non verbally explained why he was so insistent she rub it

cause its more a thing for him and his heart

than it is for her

i want to believe that markesha's panicking is kind of done in the sense shes just gonna run forever. i think though in that first mission she's going to be moving forward on adrenaline and saying shit a lot to get through it. however, i think once orson is back he can explain things better, and that will cement in her desires more. that and i think shell see the opportunity as a way to improve toshi's life at the end and stick with it for that reason.

i 100% think when toshi finds out he wont be happy tho

and then theyll have that argument

where toshi is like how could you

and markesha is like "hey you pushed me into accepting his deal"

mathtans

Okay, more or less here, catching up on the start. I guess I went for the more traditional. Though the bit with the mother is kind of heartbreaking. Though at the same time inspirational what with how close Markesha's become with her dad. And I totally missed the metaphor of releasing the rabbits.

A couple runner-up scenes... right at the beginning, where the elevator opens and it's full of security guys by accident. I thought that was funny. Also, well played, setting up this guy as the main character and it's actually his team that are the key ones moving on.

Second runner up scene... welp, if you know me, you KNOW I'm shipping Kamikaze and Flare, so yeah.

Carrie Tupper

Yeah... I may or may not get a lot of people mad at me about Jackal...

Shipping already? Wow xD

mathtans

Mad at you? I thought it was clever. A way of showing no one's safe, in a way.

I go for all the yuri ships, hinted or not.

RebelVampire

i do miss jackal. the character well never really get to know. but nah, not mad. i mean this is the post apocalypse and you cant have post apocalypse without showing the world can be...unforgiving

plus it raises the stakes for orson

cause now everything is riding on markesha

but like

no pressure or anything there markesha

mathtans

As to Orson, here's a crazy theory. His "trial run" was actually to see if a bomb could be delivered fast enough to not explode in transit. He's in league with the bomber, presumably indirectly.

(Did we ever find out what that trial was about?)

Carrie Tupper

Hmmm, there's a flavor of that theory I haven't seen.

The trial run in the beginning?

mathtans

I prefer chocolate over vanilla. Right, that one, the one Markesha was 27 seconds late for.

Carrie Tupper

Yeah, there's a page where Link asks Orson how the "courier angle" went

RebelVampire

see, the way i feel about orson, i cant say no to that theory. orson is a shady dude even when im cheering for him.

Carrie Tupper

The idea there was that Orson was throwing a hail mary that a courier could be hired to do the job, but her parameters were a little high for untrained runners.

mathtans

But what was he couriering, eh? Secret bombs, maybe?

Rebel: It's true. The guy removed the evidence of his gun and everything.

Carrie Tupper

Orson's a professional, he's not perfect, but he's defintely been in the game for a loooong time.

mathtans

As to Rebel's questions, I think Markesha's instinct is to run. I was honestly inclined to smack her upside the head for disobeying her father the way she did, when he was making sense. Can kinda see her point of view, mind.

keii4ii

He knows his priorities. Gotta respect that even if I may not agree with him sometimes

Carrie Tupper

One of the hard realities Orson has to constantly deal with is the fact that he can't control everything in the outer city. Doing his jobs a lot easier when you can leverage everyone, but the chaos of Outer Trinity is almost a force of nature that he's just kinda...gotta make the best of.

mathtans

I think she's destined to grow though, from what we've seen in the special later storyline bits. (cough Shipping cough )

RebelVampire

i like that mix where orson cnt control everything yet gives off this attitude that sure he can, hes orson. gotta admire that confidence.

mathtans

Incidentally, real interesting format, what with giving some tidbits about the city or characters underneath the page. I didn't get a chance to read them all.

Carrie Tupper

Charisma seen from outer space

mathtans

Orson seems very sure of himself - and his coworkers. Probably why, as Carrie said, he can tolerate things like Audrey's challenges.

Handy trait given the position he's in.

RebelVampire

tbf its not like audrey's points are invalid anyway. shes making good points even if she chooses to express them very aggressively.

though between the three i like link the best cause hes a breathe of fresh air who brings sunshine and comedy to the bleak and serious world.

mathtans

She is. Though given she seems to be the one who needs to activate the kill switch, she's got a more personal stake.

Link spies on young girls though.

Carrie Tupper

That's a unique viewpoint, Rebel! We don't have many Link fans.

Are there any moments in particular you like with Link?

mathtans

If I had to pick a favourite character, it might be Toshi. Not just because he's a writer, but because he's doing his best under crazy circumstances. And doesn't let his blindness stop him. (Also, my God, all the pathos for the issue with his wife.)

biab, little one's fussing.

RebelVampire

i dont know whether to applaud toshi's dedication to his wife or not. cause i mean loyalty is an admirable quality, but theres also a point i agree with markesha and its time to smack him into realizing she probably isnt coming back.

as for favorite link moments, probably the scenes at markesha's house. especially where he critiques audrey for how strong shes coming on...and then proceeds to come on very strong. besides being funny, i think its a good moment that shows he does basically just kind of his own moral compass for better or for worse.

but i also really liked the dialogue sequence between him and audrey that markesha could here

cause it really showed the vulnerability everyone is in atm

QUESTION 3. Despite having to work for Orson, there are many questions surrounding Orson’s work. Who exactly are Audrey and Link, and how do you think they wound up working with Orson? Who exactly is Orson? What are Orson’s personal motivations for participating in the project? For that matter, why is Orson so hated and blamed for what happened to the Cornerstone family? What do you think happened to the Cornerstone family exactly, and how might it tie in to the story? Also, who is Orson’s boss? What are they trying to accomplish as far as changing the balance of power goes? How are they trying to accomplish it? Lastly, what do you think was in the canister seen at the beginning of the comic?

ShaRose49

Idk what to think about Orson, I can’t tell if he’s good or bad. Leaning more towards good though. My fav thing about this is that it looks like an animated series and the father-daughter relationship is a pretty good one and I feel like I don’t see that very often so kudos to you guys for that

Carrie Tupper

Thanks @ShaRose49

ShaRose49

No prob!

mathtans

Back briefly. I feel like Toshi not wanting to leave isn't simply due to his wife though. When you're blind, and living in a place, you kinda know where everything is. Having to leave would suuuck.

ShaRose49

It’s inspiring to me cause I’d like to be involved in animation as well someday

@mathtans I agree

RebelVampire

but not wanting to leave when your daughter is being hunted by the local gang is borderline insanity XD

ShaRose49

Oh yeah

mathtans

(I'm not at the bit where Link/Audrey go to Markesha yet, so no comment on that.)

Except dude was providing an alternative to that. Just saying.

Carrie Tupper

@mathtans You're quite right. It's complicated for Toshi. There's most DEFINITELY an edge of "I won't leave her," but there's also the complications of leaving in both a mental and physical way. He's lived there forever, had memories built with his family, and leaving means he'd have to re-learn layouts all over again. That can be stressful and painful for someone who can't see.

mathtans

As to the latest question, maybe Orson's boss is one of those people vying to fill the vacant seat at the council chambers.

RebelVampire

but toshi wouldnt even consider leaving till markesha super forced his hand. and to me thats the point where it reaches obsession cause hes willing to trust is some rando stranger and risk his daughters safety just on the .000001% chance his wife is coming back and because eww change. and while i empathize with toshi, that is a moment where i felt hes just being a bad dad. cause his own pain is more important than the life of his daughter

mathtans

And as to the canister, I'd say it had seeds or something, but it was apparently super heavy without the suit, so that doesn't jibe.

Rebel: Fair point about the stranger trust thing. But there were some logical arguments in there too. I guess there's layers of opinion.

biab again

keii4ii

I like Orson. He seems like he genuinely believes what he's doing is the best option for many in a crappy world, and accepts the shady aspects of it as a necessary price. There's a lot about him that's yet to be revealed, so maybe I won't agree with his endgame, but I still see an inherent value in that... belief in a non-self-centered goal.

ShaRose49

@Respheal yeah he’s definitely not perfect

Got some issues

RebelVampire

i definitely think hes a good guy and has a non-self centered goal. that being said, bending the rules can...corrupt your moral compass. so if at the end hes an antagonist, i would not be surprised

also wrong tag there @ShaRose49

XD

ShaRose49

Whoops!!

I musta slipped

My bad

Respheal

o_o

lol, s'ok

ShaRose49

Oh heeey, we were just talking about you!

Carrie Tupper

xD

ShaRose49

Accidentally!!

RebelVampire

seeds would make the most sense there where the cannister is concerned. as for the heaviness, well that couldve been more from the cannister itself than whats in the cannister.

keii4ii

I am very sorry because this is a terrible, terrible idea, but "if at the end he's an antagonist" just made me imagine him becoming a Final Boss a la that nanomachine boss from the Metal Gear Solid series.

Carrie Tupper

Oof. I gotta keep my mouth shut here, but y'all got some interesting ideas about Orson. xD

RebelVampire

maybe whats in the cannister are the secrets to weather control cause you never have to worry about the crops again if you can control the weather

mathtans

Back, mostly. That's a good take on Orson, keii4ii.

Incidentally, I notice we're only, like, 15 years from the "end of the world" as far as the story chronology seems to go. Yikes?

Carrie Tupper

15?

RebelVampire

its okay keii i pictured him in about 20 different video game boss forms when i said that XD

keii4ii

omg

Carrie Tupper

Just put glasses and a half vest on EVERY boss xD

mathtans

The tag line says "what happens when the world's first superheroine shows up two hundred years after the end of the world"... and I thought I saw a date marker of, like, 2227 somewhere.

(Someone's birth year? Mirage? I dunno.)

Carrie Tupper

Year is 2235

2235 - 200 years is 2035

mathtans

Okay, so wasn't totally imagining it. That means 200 years ago was, like, shortly in our future.

Carrie Tupper

Da

mathtans

We're in trouble.

Carrie Tupper

....Da

mathtans

Da da da daaaaa.

RebelVampire

tbf this is not the worst of post apocalypses

i mean there is some semblance of order

and cities

mathtans

There's still bureauocratic jerks too. That whole "you're blacklisted but hey, keep applying and giving us money" shakedown annoyed me. In the good way of clever writing because I can see it happening and they're jerks.

RebelVampire

yeah i really like in general political bs hasnt gone away. cause thats very true to life.

mathtans

Related, kudos on establishing that Logan guy in the council as a total waste of oxygen within, like, two panels (as he went off about girls asking for it). Get bent.

Carrie Tupper

Logan is basically every jerk I've ever known brought to life.

It's cathartic in a way.

RebelVampire

im gonna take a stab in the dark at orson's motivations. i think the cornerstones essentially got murdered in a mysterious raid that im sure no other high ranking family had anything to do with. and that for better or for worse, orson got blamed because someone always needs to be blamed. and orson blames himself but he also recognizes how the system is flawed. so he wants to change the power dynamics by changing hte food system or something. cause food does seem to be the controlling factor here.

mathtans

It's nice to have a clear villain character somewhere. The kind that's too moronic to actually take over the world though.

RebelVampire

maybe thats what logan wants you to think. that hes too dumb to do anything. when really he is the shadow puppet master

Carrie Tupper

Hmmm! All interesting ideas

mathtans

Rebel: That's a good theory. Maybe being the scapegoat also twisted his morals a bit, he figured I might as well do some of the shadier things like killing people.

Rebel: Logan could be a puppet, that's for sure. But not a master, unless the real master wants him to think so.

RebelVampire

you know who i dont trust? lionness heritage. if i had to pick anybody who ruined the cornerstones, itd be her.

Carrie Tupper

Oh? How come?

mathtans

Rebel: The fact that the world ended with "the Withering" implies to me that food is definitely a key element.

Carrie Tupper

Quite right, @mathtans

mathtans

Hm, don't think I've got to the lionness yet.

Carrie Tupper

She's a trip.

RebelVampire

because she seems smart enough to know how to politics and is so far the one most interested in changing the power structure. and just the way she offered the crop things in a backhanded blackmail way makes her rub me in all the wrong ways. like, she kind of gives me the same impression orson does. where shes doing good while also being shady af. but in her case her motives are way more self-interested, so the self-interested plus the shady are a dangerous combonation(edited)

Carrie Tupper

Makes sense.

RebelVampire

tbh i would not be surprised if she was orson's boss, but actually fooled orson into thinking she wanted to do good things for everyone.

mathtans

Oooh, interesting theory.

Carrie Tupper

She's not a person to trifle with

Constance will have to be careful.

RebelVampire

but i do like constance. i hope she and markesha meet and become the ultimate duo. the one who politics and the one who works in the shadows.

QUESTION 4. Besides the major plot points, there are quite a number of politics and world issues about. Who are the Outlanders, and why are they disliked? Assuming Markesha’s mother was an Outlander, how did she wind up with Markesha’s father? What do you think ultimately happened to Markesha’s mother? Do you think Markesha and her father will find out during the story? How might it affect them? Less personally tied to Markesha is what’s going on in Halo. Do you think Orson will get out of his captivity? If so, how will it come about? Will Lionness Wright take Cornerstone’s seat High House seat? What is Lionness’ Heritage interest in Lionness Wright taking it? At last, do you think there is a chance one of the Cornerstone’s lived?

Carrie Tupper

@mathtans I have to admit I hope you'll comment through the next bit of story. The team and I would very much enjoy seeing yours or anyone else's reactions in realtime

mathtans

(Is there more Kamikaze and Flare? )

Carrie Tupper

(It's coming I promise, but it'll be a bit!)

All very good questions you've posed @RebelVampire

RebelVampire

im hoping we get to learn more about the outlanders. cause i mean namewise, obviously they are ppl who live outside the city. but at the same time, they mention that yellow eyes are a trait. and you dont have a shared trait if youre just ppl outside the walls.

mathtans

I admit, I'm real bad with geography in real life. It's worse in fantasy novels and comics for me. I remember there were three gates. That's... kind of all I got.

Oh yeah, the eyes. Though not all Outlanders.

RebelVampire

i didnt study the geography that hard this time, admittedly.

maybe toshi met his wife via some writing work? like doing some journalistic investigation on the lives of outlanders

mathtans

Started looking at Episode 3. Clever way of having the storm info playing in the background. Reminds me of how Toshi was looking at the news to give us backstory in an earlier bit.

Carrie Tupper

The geography of the city is pretty basic, but for reference...

RebelVampire

oh thats nice they have a river

very smart

Carrie Tupper

For reference Markesha's mom = Cassie

mathtans

Markesha really likes jumping to conclusions, doesn't she. Also, selective memory.

RebelVampire

ok cassie. i knew shed been named but i couldnt remember it

Carrie Tupper

Hey many she just got kinda blown up give her a break xD

RebelVampire

to be fair markesha is i think 19? thats basically still a kid and that is kid-like behavior

Carrie Tupper

Yep, in the scene with Rio she said she turned 20 in a week.

Happy birthday~ Markesha

mathtans

Oh, I'm not faulting it. Just, perhaps especially as a teacher, I roll my eyes.

Carrie Tupper

One of the things I have to catch myself in a lot when reading anything is the memory of the character doesn't always match our own, especially if said character wasn't present at or had certain information communicated to them

mathtans

Also kind of impressive how every page has it's own title. That's attention to detail. (I do it, but that's only because they're all 4-panels.)

Carrie: Truth.

RebelVampire

maybe cassie was involved in some espionage. like maybe she married toshi just to have a cover so she could spy for outlanders. and then when her mission was done she left. or ya know, was viciously murdered. which i would be amazingly surprised if she was alive. i dont buy into the characters' hopes. i feel shes just been gone too long for it to have been anything else.

Carrie Tupper

lol, Alan and I beat our heads against the wall EVERY WEEK to make sure we haven't reused those titles. xD

mathtans

biab, little one fussing.

Carrie Tupper

Cassie's fate is at this point unknown to everyone, but I definitely know her fate and do my best to sprinkle it in

In fact there's a lot of things I sprinkle in through the series. Like the fact Julain shows up WAAAAAY before book 3.

RebelVampire

interesting

Carrie Tupper

https://i0.wp.com/kamikazeanimated.com/comic/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/pg_05.jpg?w=900

mathtans

Back. Yeah, I have a text file of titles. If I think of one I'm not sure of, I simply do a search.

RebelVampire

omg thats such a sneaky appearance too

mathtans

Cassie was actually a time traveller!

Carrie Tupper

hahaha xD

RebelVampire

but also makes me picture on one page somewhere theres a hidden newspaper article that readers "many year long cold case of murdered woman in alley still not solved! read the story on page 4!"

mathtans

Damn. Nice foreshadow.

Carrie Tupper

Mmmmmaaaybe

One of my goals when writing this is to leave little things for return readers to find and enjoy

that way when they re-read they notice new things, and the experience is fresh in a different way

RebelVampire

thats always a good thing to have. especially when it things like that where you smack yourself in the forehead cause you didnt realize a character had already appeared before

mathtans

Yeah, that's awesome.

RebelVampire

off topic to that but like http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/kamikaze/pg-1-moving-day/ how can anybody not like link after looking at this page? look at those beautiful and jovial expressions minus the adorable pout

Carrie Tupper

Orson's little sneer at the tablet being waved in his face always makes me smile

mathtans

Interesting about a panic switch, didn't expect that arrest. They didn't even read his rights.

Carrie Tupper

...y'all have a really positive view of the Trinity justice system

mathtans

I live in hope. The romantic in me.

RebelVampire

yeah i think thats math there. im even surprised they didnt just gun them down and go "whoops they slipped into my bullets"

mika

oh we're talking about something that i do not know

mathtans

Markesha staying in one place for calibration? Yeah, good luck with that.

Rebel: Point.

Carrie Tupper

Hiya mika!

RebelVampire

this is the channel for our thursday book club chat. were talking about kamikaze http://kamikazeanimated.com/comic/ @mika

especially orson. i for sure orson would get shot cause man is there a lot of hate for orson.

so really insofar

their treatment has been better than i expected

Carrie Tupper

That's fair

mika

oooo

mathtans

Orson looks really different without his glasses.

Carrie Tupper

I guess ultimately the HSF knows if they do anything to hurt Orson they'llhave to answer to the High House LEOs and...well

mathtans

He's got some pull still.

Carrie Tupper

I'm not sure who I'd want to answer to less in that situation

Fun note: The shot where we see the other inmates via Orson's view is directly related to how blurry people look w/o my glasses on.

mathtans

Okay, one last theory... the canister at the start held some of the "Withering" disease in storage, that people were studying. They want it in order to create a vaccine/cure, but others are fine with the world the way it is.

I am very with you on that. My prescription is high.

mika

im going to try reading it! im always looking for more webcomics to snatch

Carrie Tupper

I hope you'll enjoy it @mika and feel free to comment on the pages! The team loves chatting with our readers

mathtans

(Made it to the end of Act 1 atleast.)

Carrie Tupper

haha xD

mika

oof im guilty of not commenting enough

Carrie Tupper

Act 2 is insanely long, so I'm sure it won't take any time for you

RebelVampire

i really loved that blurry shot. as a glasses wearer, that is a detail so many comics do not capture. that yeah, without glasses, ppl cant bloody see that well.

Carrie Tupper

Yep. I also needed to establish that for later shenanigans

mathtans

(I'm actually a pretty slow reader. I'm also bad at keeping up with things. Even my own websites.)

RebelVampire

and the cannister containing a copy of the disease is interesting, math. although sounds extremely dangerous. like...jackal did not treat that cannister with enough care if thats whats in it XD

mathtans

I wonder if we'll get much from Toshi's point of view then. Could save the artist some time.

Carrie Tupper

omg right?

I have thought about having a dream sequence for Toshi

where all wee see are the 'sounds' he hears

mathtans

Jackal seemed pretty sure of himself and not inclined to listen to advice though.

(I wonder if that was a code name, like "Rabbit"?)

Carrie Tupper

It was.

mathtans

Well played.

Carrie Tupper

If you look at the "list of affiliations" on Orson's file that we did, you may find him hidden in the list

mathtans

Good job all around, as far as final words go. The amount of worldbuilding behind the scenes is damn impressive, you get the impression that it's only the tip of the iceberg being shown.

RebelVampire

that would definitely be an interesting experience. to see the world as toshi sees it, metaphorically speaking.

mathtans

(I'm baffled about how it could have been goofy in the conception, it's pretty serious now, I think.)

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to lan Tupper, Havana Nguyen, and Carrie Tupper; Edited by Rachelle Udell and D'Andrea Seabrook, as well, for making Kamikaze. If you liked the comic, make sure to support everyone’s efforts however you’re able to~!

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[marniacblog-blog]

Her Good News

 Years ago when I was newly pregnant with my first child, I had a conversation with my mother-in-law Marcia about her first pregnancy experience. Sitting at the oversized kitchen table in her comfortable breakfast nook, we shared a quiet moment with a cup of tea. I expressed my disappointment that my own mother was no longer living and couldn't share this special time with me. Marcia said “I know, it’s so too bad. Did I ever tell you about my first pregnancy?” She always referred to her mother as Granny, which is what everyone had called her. I always pictured Granny as an old fashioned matriarch with an easy going temperament.

 While Marcia respected her mother, there was also a slight air of pain and resignation when she spoke of her that made me want to know more. After all, Marcia was so warm, loving and affectionate with her children and grandchildren; it was hard to believe she had a difficult upbringing. She had spoken of her father often, and it was clear that he was a fun guy with a wicked sense of humor who was never the less very strict with his only daughter.

 A month before the due date, Granny told Marcia that the entire family had reservations at the Wagon Wheel fishing lodge in the southern part of the state and that they were to leave shortly after the baby arrived.

 Marcia was the youngest with of four with three older brothers. It seemed to me an odd time for her family to take a vacation. However, when the baby didn't show up on time, Granny became irritated. She seemed to have forgotten that the arrival of a baby was up to mother nature to determine. Still she expressed her frustration with her daughter. There were no scheduled inductions or C-section reservations back then. There was no ultrasound or high tech imaging like today, and she was already overdue.

 In those days, parents thought that depriving the child (even a grown adult child) of affection was a way to make them strong. Coddling or extra attention was thought to cause weakness resulting in weak and inferior offspring. This event took place in the late 1950's when Marcia was 24, and still strongly influenced by the opinions of her parents.  Granny was determined to go on this fishing trip with her husband and sons. And when her grandchild was almost a week late, she decided it was just going to be born without her.

 It turns out that throughout her life Macia had felt that she had been a burden to her mother. (Being the unexpected baby, whose next older sibling was five years her senior.) To this day, Marcia tends to apologize profusely if things aren't going exactly as planned as if everything were all her fault.  I believe that her mother has somehow made her feel guilty for even existing.

 To make matters worse, the paternal grandparents who were quite formal and not at all sure about their son having married a girl "from the West" made the long train trip from Chicago out to Denver to see their new grandchild. Marcia tried to entertain her in-laws even in her overdue state.

 "Were they staying with you in your apartment?" I asked.

 "Oh no, they wouldn't dream of it." she said as she rolled her eyes "They insisted on not only staying at The Brown Palace Hotel down town, but required nothing less than the Eisenhower Suite. I remember it like it was yesterday." she says now, 42 years later.  “We all went out to a fancy dinner. I was so uncomfortably pregnant. I was wearing a wrap- around cotton floral maternity skirt that I could never get tied quite right. I wasn't sure if it was just my enormous size or that I didn't have any sisters to show me how to do it," she sighed.  I nodded in sympathy as I refilled her tea cup.  

 "That August was hot and humid, not typical at all of Denver. There was no air conditioning of course, even in the dining room of The Brown Palace. The air was heavy, and it was hard to breathe. Beads of sweat were rolling down my back, but I remember that I had the most marvelous éclair for dessert with pink icing," she giggled. Macia has an uncanny ability to find the silver lining in all things unpleasant.  Marcia's husband insisted that she be fully and ‘put together' every morning by 7:30 AM when she served him his breakfast. This meant hair done, lipstick on, robe and slippers would simply not do. There were no exceptions for being nine plus months pregnant. Marcia felt she had disappointed everyone, as if she had any control over the arrival of a baby. After a week, the in-laws had had enough of waiting and promptly took the train back to Chicago.

 With both parental sides of the family gone, she finally went into labor. Poor Marcia was alone in the delivery room. In those days’ women were pretty much knocked out cold for childbirth, which might have been the best possible state for her during a time of abandonment. Tears welled up in my eyes as she told the story. The thought of having no support in the delivery room had my hormonally challenged brain shifting into high gear. I imagined her through a haze of morphine, Granny's famously familiar words ringing in her ears; "Be a soldier!" Even if they had allowed men in the delivery room, her husband would not have known how to be supportive or comforting. He wanted his heir, not much more. She ought to have had her family around her, cheering her on, and holding her hand. Instead, she was left her to fend for herself.

 I can hear in her voice that it still pains her though she is trying to mask her emotions. Despite being a straight A student and accomplished musician and a notably gifted athlete, she felt like she could never measure up to her brothers, or please her parents. A few weeks after her son finally arrived, Granny said to Marcia, ‘Aren't you glad you had a boy?’  I can hear in her voice that it still haunts her. Saying this to her only daughter was thoughtless and hurtful. I can see why she wanted to be with us when our babies were born, as if to right a wrong and break the chain of mother/daughter resentment. Marcia stirs her tea. Her pale blue eyes trained on the swirling liquid.

 "It all turned out ok. Things were just different back then." She said this with an air of finality that indicated the conversation was over. I put my hand on hers and invited her to be in the delivery room with us when our little one arrived.

 "I wouldn't miss it for the world!" she said with a teary smile.

 Note:

Now, it is twenty years later. Though it never worked out geographically for her to be present, you can be sure that she was the first person we called from the delivery room as soon as the baby arrived to give her the good news.