#plus she's just in seattle which is only like a 40 min drive and at a reputable hospital and keeps patients overnight

[7suns]

tomorrow.

#my surgery's tomorrow and i have confirmed it and i will check into the hospital at 8:15am tomorrow #then my surgery is at 9:45 and after that i'll be staying overnight in the hospital #and on saturday after i'm awake and feeling good my parents will come pick me up in seattle and bring me home #and ngl i am having a LOT of anxiety and doubts today #rationally i know this is what i want and that i'll be so much happier and i'll be able to go running again etc etc etc #but part of me is like 'derek ur making a mistake wtf' #like with starting t it was super gradual and if i wasn't happy a month or 2 in i could Just Stop and go more or less back to where i was #but with this i'm really scared i'm gonna wake up and be like 'oh god this is awful' #but for real i Know i won't feel that way #and to remind myself of that i wrote down a huge list of reasons i'm getting surgery and what i want to do post op #and i keep looking in the mirror shirtless today to remind myself that that's why i'm getting it done. bc i'm not happy w what i see. #but still. it's scary. and i've never had surgery before so anesthesia is also scary and i won't be able to have any visitors bc rona #i am glad my surgeon chooses to keep top surgery patients in the hospital overnight. makes me feel better #also btw i'm getting DI w dr alexandra schmidek at virginia mason in seattle #and herself and all her nurses and assistants are all so nice and i've seen pics of her results and i like them a lot #plus she's just in seattle which is only like a 40 min drive and at a reputable hospital and keeps patients overnight #and she's done this plenty of times. i know i'll ultimately be happy w my results even if i end up needing a revision #i've also been lurking on r/ftm and looking at posts from guys w similar anxieties who all say they're happy w their results:) #anyway. long tags ramble over. didn't have much of a point to this i just wanted to share what i'm going thru today #also if anyone has any questions feel free to ask #derek's ts adventure