However short the road is. Who stomps, leaves a mark! 🖤🤍

.

i rewatch movies.

and i reread books.

i keep my playlists in chronological order

incase i ever feel nostalgic.

i saved the perfumes i used in every year of my life,

most of them at least.

i live my life in memories

and i like it here.

so i guess the great tragedy of age is that

there will be some feelings i cannot linger in

that listening to an old band or smelling mangos

will not bring back.

like how the sky looked when i was little

and how beautiful it all was

and how i felt lucky to exist.

like how i used to fall in love

consuming and blushing

i dont think i will ever feel anything as colourfully as i used to.

"Just two lost souls searching for each other as the world drifts into the abyss."

The truth is, you get emotionally attached to anyone has been nice to you..

Be nice to yourself.

"What crime did I commit to make you destroy me?"

_𝐌𝐚𝐡𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡

A Hat Full of Sky

Carved into the hillside, the white horse waits, frozen, mid-gallop, forever. Companion of many walks, visible for miles around, reminding us all of the need to run free and be wild in nature. Spirit and essence of animal writ large in chalk. A language understood by the souls of generations.

"Tain't what a horse looks like, it's what a horse be." -- Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Inktober #30

Saturday 30th October 2021

Have you ever just sat with your friends realizing you're the least important friend in the group and that it wouldn't make difference if you were there or not?

Fall in love with a writer,

You would live forever.

Every atom of you,

would be engraved like a tattoo.

you don’t know how much you meant to me.

how the words that left your lips

pierced my heart,

lurking in my head for hours.

how the sweet texts you sent

are locked up in my gallery

after all these months.

i look at them sometimes,

the screenshots taking me back

to a time that may have existed,

to a version of us

that looks perfect

in the haze of nostalgia.

is that a smile or a grimace?

a bittersweet taste on my tongue.

you don’t know how much you meant to me.

that drunken voice note still haunts me.

“i love you”s whispered in the dead of the night.

hours before dawn broke;

days before your heart did too.

i'm not sorry though.

i was sick of us,

sick of running in circles,

of the loop we were stuck in,

of our never-ending endings,

one step forward, two steps back.

you were a habit I couldn’t break,

but it was time to stop.

like a wilted flower clinging to a branch,

it was time to let go.

old habits die hard,

but as the nostalgia fades,

reality slams into me in waves.

and I’m glad I never told you

just how much you meant to me.

Can you remember

Who you were,

Before this world told you

Who you should be?

Hi. Sorry it's been a while. Again.

When you start healing, you really think your trauma isn't gonna hit back?

You'll be surprised how creative it gets.. Because if you confront it face to face, it loses all the hard work it's done on you.

"I was gazing as she carved my heart out and had her first meal of the day."

Hey star,

Can I run to you tonight?,

Do you know how I’ve been or what I’ve been through?,

Can you show me an escape to this dark big sky?, of where I can go to hear no one’s voice & where I can never be found.

I see you,

In the clouds,

Again the sky is of our colour,

I see you there.

Smiling.

I saw you yesterday,

Near that broken gate,

Behind the trees, I saw you looking,

Looking at me.

Blushing.

Tomorrow I'll see you again,

Near the river, behind the church,

Under today's sky, behind yesterday's trees,

I'll see you smiling,

I'll see you blushing,

I'll see you again.

the thing that people get confused with about me not wanting to fall in love is that they assume i am scared of getting hurt, but the reality is that i’m scared of loving someone in the way i’ve seen my father love my mother. in a way that causes only pain.

h.daneme

리틀 포레스트 (Little Forest), dir. Yim Soon-rye (2018) // Mahtem Shiferraw, Your Body Is War, Body of Punishments