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“A baby tooth, cracked in half.

Bits of tin foil. A pro-choice button.

The family forecast. Six bobby pins.

Your least favorite flavor of gum.

Pepper spray. Peppermints. Pepper

the Drug Dealer’s phone number.

A coupon for ninety-five percent off

your mother’s warnings at Victoria’s

Secret. A forgotten fifteenth birthday.

The wrapper of an almond granola bar

you pretended to eat. An expired bus

pass. Two empty packs of apologies.

One leaking pouch of I Desperately

Want You To Like Me. A milk carton

with me, the missing kid, on its back.

A coy tube of pin-up peach lipstick.

A gram or two of Things You Thought

I Should Try. An earring. This poem.

Crumbs of a sentence you wouldn’t

let me say, once. An expired drivers

permit. A leg of your parents approval.

A colorful leaf I thought was neat.

Three sets of flash cards of Things

I Have Learned About Your Life.

The last bite of advice I didn’t take.

A list of people who are proud of

me. One unique fact about myself.”- What’s in my purse?, by blythe baird

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They say that the first impression is the worst impression, but that’s not what I’m afraid of. Most of the time I manage to introduce myself without any major hitches. What I’m more scared about being so boring that I leave no impression at all.

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I Have A Confession To Make

Not A Poem

Just Venting (again)

You know everytime something bad happens with me people start acting all nice like they care. Like I’m fragile. Like I’m gonna fall apart and I guess that’s half of the ploy but there’s another side to this. I don’t just crumble away like a wilting flower most of the time. Some days I just fall apart and all you have to say to me is hi.

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb. Call that cheesy but I am. Some days I just blow up at people. I stuff all the bad shit and crap days is this bag and bury that deep inside me but what do you know it tends to explode with all the toxic shit that’s in it. They tell you to let go but some of the shit in that bag has been there for years and just keeps rekindling the spark that never gives way.

If I’m gonna be honest. I don’t know how to fix it. I’m not known as an angry person but maybe once or twice a year you see my true problems beneath this skin, beneath this smile. You see me explode. You see me get angry. You see my rage and anger. You see a completely different person and sometimes it scares me more then it scares everyone else.

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when crisp, bleak air turns to still breezes,

when skies deepen to rich tones of ultramarine blue,

when the daffodil consumes as much rain its delicate root seizes,

when it’s neighbouring tulips bloom coated in dew.

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I’m writing these words in this flickering candle light

The wax keeps melting one drop at a time

I don’t know how long this light will last

But the dying flame keeps holding onto the wick

And I don’t know how long it can hold onto

Till it goes out

~holding on:II

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You’ve Changed

Once upon a time

In a fairytale of my own

You told me what you saw

You told me what I had already known

You said and I quote “You’ve changed.”

And I laughed at this contemptuous irony

I laughed a cruel broken being laugh

As I had known this day would haunt me

Everything changed when I came back

Back to a reality I no longer knew

Back to a family I no longer loved

Back to a friend who knew what was up

It was nice of you to play pretend

But the time for fun games has come to an end

No more is the girl I was before

No more is the past I held to for closure

I have changed

I am no longer the same

That girl who cried over silly and simple things

That girl was buried alive to rot for an eternity

You said and I quote “You’ve changed.”

But in reality this was not the case

I had learned to grow the hell up

To stop being the wimpy, traumatized kid

So yes I have changed

I’m not that pampered princess anymore

I have learned that the dragon is my friend

And that my kingdom is corrupted to no end

I will no longer stand by and cry

Watching as people pass it by

The vivid horror that covers this place

To the point where no ones safe

No longer am I the helpless maiden in a crown

No longer the rejected daughter of the king

No longer naive and always singing

I am my own knight fighting for my own being

The monsters I faced in my years

Changed my fate and my fears

I do not fear the dark anymore

I only fear what it holds in its shadowy figure

You said and I quote “You’ve changed.”

And I absolutely have

But only if you had realised my pain sooner

Maybe I would still be that innocent and naive little girl

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The day was young.We went to go swimming in the deep end of earth. He gave me a shot of jack .Poured a little over my skin And I scrunched up his shirt into my mouth . He bladed our intials and home addresses over hearts.The day became old.We crushed pills And ate sandwiches I made .We held hands and walked, calm into the underneath.

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i want to kiss your tattoos and know your body beneath my fingers. feel your breath against my skin and hold you closer than ever before. i want to love you, even if you don’t want to do the same to me.

memoirs of a soul misunderstood

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The silence is too much

For me to bare by myself

I can’t remember anything

How do you feel emotions?

Everything is far away

I don’t know what to do

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Sometimes Death sounds so much Better than life.

No sadness.

No pain.

No judgement.

Just permanent slumber.

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I wish I could remember

The comfort of your words

When knifes cut me deep

And I was hurt

But now there just silence

Something’s gone wrong

It was never meant to be

All along

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let me get this straight.

you can just build a structure
out of brick & mortar,
call it a Temple

& build a structure of words,
scribe them on papyrus, adorned
with esoteric symbols

then use them
to lure persons A through Z
into structure T;

wash, rinse, repeat…
then you have a following,
a culture, a civilization core

& raise money for a war economy
that keeps on giving,
year after year?

just how much does papyrus go for
these days on alibaba?
2/21 - lebuc - papyrus

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<div> —  John Gower, <i>Vox Clamantis</i> (trans. by Eric W. Stockton)<br> </div><span>The air roared through the ship with howling winds, and the ocean’s driven billow rushed against the oars. A crashing sound arose, and the dense clouds poured themselves down from the sky, and the ship was driven about by a series of calamities.</span>
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I want to melt in your arms like chocolate

And let you cradle me to sleep

Cherish every moment when you dance into my eyes

Thrive upon every moan and sigh

I love your manly force

That rugged rock-like fierceness

Just like you love my innocence

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