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It hurts more than it should

When the world is a silver platter

And I am looked upon as merely

A bronze piece in a case of endless trophies

Yet, underneath that tarnish

I am glittering diamonds

And a treasure trove lost to time

I do not fear my glowing nor the shadows I cast upon the ages

As I clear myself of heartache and misuse

Each scratch, each dent

A testimate to the battles I have faced and survived

Through the ravages of time.

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Because I’d forgive you if you ever meant your sorry.

But you treat me less than human… and I don’t know how else I can say I don’t want to be a sex toy anymore.

You make me feel worthless.

I am so much more than my hands and my knees and my mouth.

I have so much more to say than the anger you induce.

So much more to show you than tears.

I just want you to see me.

But with you I must be so guarded, because the person with whom my heart is…

Makes me feel less than a common whore.

Because he can have me for free.

I want you to see, I bought the armor because of you.

The shield, the fence, the weapons, so that I could still get close to you like I wanted to…

Without risking my life.

You don’t have to stab me, just ask me.

I’ll tell you that I bleed red… you can ask for what’s in my heart instead.

Because I love you, I keep no secrets.

Except I keep this… pain that lingers on.

I keep it off my face.

I hide it in rage.

Because you treat me like I’m nothing…

And nothing I can be.

So I vanished from every place you could ever see…

And I know you miss me.

Funny how much space nothing can fill…

Even when it’s what you feel.


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These are Your Words

it’s wonderful now to be writing in real time and see your response

it’s just like magic to the dreams of a writer aching for your praise

but I surrender to the request of your taste with every new word


3in1 haiku #126


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i look outside

seeing snow

time gone too quick

or pass too slow

the ebb and flow

of all i know

my sight grows dull

dusted and full

a call to cull

a tug and pull

null and void

different voices

i’m paranoid

im indecisive

hate all my vices

im walking thin ice

new vision

reach new heights

whose wrong

whose right

new vision

got new sight

dark light

city nights

wishing on wisdom

i remain hidden

dying or living

lord am i forgiven

im writhing i wither

im drowning my liver in liqour

im bitter when i am not with her

i cant trust my eyes

seeing these figures

im roaming tundras

world turn to winter

glittering gold

hollow but a mould

my false skin grow cold

man turning to tin

one day turn to ten

became a manakin

man akin to a demon

remain all inanimate

all caught on the bends

all caught on these trends

raising hell im gonna ascend

new cracks mark the end

fantasy rebirth start again

i can see the stars again

head against the keys

candlelight new eve

this dying tone until dawn

slow rolled mist im gone

the twilight drawn long

im gone

im gone

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I tried so hard, everyday looking for something new to say to you, I tried to be interesting, I tried to keep, I love you, but please, tell me, if you are leaving ‘cause I sent my heart in a small box to you, it was fragile and hurt, it was bleeding and without feelings, and you made it beat again, remember it.

I feel like I’m the only one who’s living this 'dream’ that we both built at the beginning of everything, i still have the string in my hands but i think I’m gonna let it go…if you don’t care no more.


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Sorry that I have trust issues, but when you give someone everything and they treat it like nothing, something inside of you really breaks.

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I think about you all the time,

Even when you left.

I wish I never responded to all those text.

I think it would be better if we never met.

I used to miss the song we used to sing to,

But now I hear it on the radio and I hate every word to the song.

Sometimes I wish we never met.

You’re still the one I’ll be after.

It sounds like you’re happy with out me…

I look at my phone waiting for the call saying you miss me.

But I sit here never receive a call or text.

This is how I know its really over.





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Kiss me No.3

I still believe in the ghost of us.

You live under my skin in pleasant friction

And physical matter.

A burning braid in a throat

Where you felt nothing i felt everything.

Scratch and caress my wounds.

Blow out the mirror. In a moonless pleasure. Underneath your scent and temperature our honey was made in purity

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She could imagine that she felt like an Other.  When pretty much everyone who was out was out as a family, or gathering as a group, or dating, or something.

It was beautiful, viewing it as an outsider.  Bright and dark and living and it was any number of interlocked, interrelated systems that she had next to no interest in.

She didn’t even need her Sight to make it all seem strange.

Logos and brands she didn’t buy into.  Ads and bright signs that drove her away rather than pull her in.  Music she didn’t love and fashion that didn’t appeal.  If it wasn’t for Lucy, she might have already left it behind.

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“We live in a world in which trees are worth more, financially, dead than alive, in a world in which a whale is worth more dead than alive. For so long as our economy works in that way, and corporations go unregulated, they’re going to continue to destroy trees, to kill whales, to mine the earth, and continue to pull oil out of the ground, even though we know it’s destroying the planet and we know that’s it’s going to leave a worse world for future generations. This is short term thinking based on this religion of profit at all costs, as if somehow, magically, each corporation acting in its selfish interests is going to produce the best result. This has been affecting the environment for a long time. What’s frightening, and what hopefully is the last straw that will make us wake up as a civilisation to how flawed this theory has been in the first place is to see that now we’re the tree, we’re the whale. Our attention can be mined. We are more profitable to a corporation if we are spending time staring at a screen, staring at an ad, than if we’re spending that time living our life in a rich way. And so, we’re seeing the results of that. We’re seeing corporations using powerful artificial intelligence to outsmart us and figure out how to pull our attention toward the things they want us to look at, rather than the things that are most consistent with our goals and our values and our lives.”

- the social dilemma, netflix

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We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything, what a waste!

Call me by your name


Originally posted by itsjxsh

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M'L Instant



To look at the Sun hurts now

Days are touch, Nights are rougher

The Moons pale light haunts my mind

Can’t we go back to times of seeing hope on the horizon

Breaking is the dawn, Broken is Dusk

The Sun and Moon no longer depict passage of time…

Only marching of storms through troubled lifetimes

Image: / Scared Skies pics

Let me know what you think and pass the thought along my Lovelies 🌇.

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