is all that was

sure we painted it

all up & gussy

slapped labels on

called these acts

one night stands

fleeting encounters

love

make it seem pretty

fooling ourselves

each other

but in the mornin’

end of the night

it was nothin’

more than

ruttin’

neil benbow

uncle jim I never saw

except as a male figure

in his car

sat outside our house

whenever aunt frances came

she of the wobbly front tooth

& disdain for us step kids

or when we visited her

the faint sounds of his radio

from another room

I never understood why

he would not grace us

with his presence

& now

I am becoming uncle jim

sat outside in the car

listening to the radio

while she visits her family

because if I go in

there will be a row a fight

unpleasant words need be said

to unpleasant people

so I sit outside

in peace in quiet

& wait patiently

neil benbow

You make my inner cannibal hungry.

- 6 words from the mouth of man

Flowers still bloom
in graveyards
and maybe
thats why
I’ve always
known
trauma and pain
can’t destroy
a beautiful soul

be:
a D student in high school
college drop out;
overdosed on cop outs;
dreadlocks grew out
got threw out–
the carcinization out the bucket
takes a metric ton of fuck it;
they’ll pull your down–
with a grip like Doomfist–

at its zenith
unity is about discord,
not obedience;
white supremacy
is a symptom–
the ingnorance is an ingredient;

spoil the cane
save the child–
young and wild;
bestial; enflamed;
if you’re going to build a straw man
give it a brain–

after the red hats came
things were never the same;
or like more of the same;
rock and roll music backdrop
uncle sam’s
finger guns goin bang

kush; envelopes pushed;
crush some dreams
and put a pinch in;
I’m a pawn mid en-passant
towards the lynchpin;
peace pipe spliffed
swapping war stories
with crazy outcomes
and all the best intentions;
they thought I was a monkey–
I proved them right
when I threw the wrench in
their diabolical schemes–
yacht dreams–
master plan notched
somewhere in between
the the question marks
profit.
aw shit.

I want to weigh down the clouds till they pour

Raging against your window

Until you open your door

And wonder at the storm.

But I am a fallen leaf

Coolly drifting downstream

Indifferently accepting of life

As though it is only a meaningless dream.

In all ways, I have lined up my scars and written them insincere apologies; each word — a mockery and a transgression carelessly thrown in the night. I have allowed dread to settle deeply between my collar bones: an arrow buried between antlers until it unsettles and chokes. I have sewn sadness into my skin, like a dainty, silk sundress; worn it to church and to the funeral mass of a little girl I had to kill. She’ll never know how much I mourned her, how on some nights, I still do. In all ways, I have looked at my skin, my fingers, and calves, and tailbone and saw a body that’s never known gentleness or summertime souls or the gentle falling of the rain.

So after all of that, how, then, can I hold my heart now, without ever breaking it?

Tell me — how long can I hold my heart without ever breaking it?

— Fray Narte

*
at last check -
blooming in my garden
in their unobtrusive manner,
varietals - according to forethought,
diligence & care.

day casts dimly -
sun behind clouds, seems;

glooming about
in thoughts’ compost,
flowering fatalistic fauna
from foyer to rear door
within ceilinged walls
& shaded windows. 

some days shine serendipitously,
others slate greyer than others;

as tonight’s dream bliss beckons,
heralding the burst & burn
of a new day’s sun -
sages say.
*
1/21 - lebuc - greyer than others

spent 2 days jotting down ideas for a horror story and wrote a certified sad girl poem on the side in a true testament to my dedication to my brand

We open our ribs

to the streetlights and the bars.

Sweat kisses our lungs.

i tremble, my heart is not as steady as yours;
i’m steadfast in my devotion to you,
lost in a certain kind of reverie that only
those who love as deeply as this are
acquainted with –

fevered with you,
you paint a world in your colours,
your brushstrokes are prominent,
evident with each step you take,
you are everywhere.

in the tidal waves that come
crashing on shore,

in the clouds that are perfectly
formed on an evening sky,

a handful of you
was enough to
tinge my world
in your hues.

the sky lightens with your touch, i’m left wounded –
you set fire to most things, are you aware of that?
even the door to hell tucked away in Turkmenistan
doesn’t burn half as long, as the entities you’ve
embraced. am i that filled with deadwoods
or are you just that potent?

i have no answers when it comes to you –
maybe that’s why i bathe you in celestial
light the way i do, or maybe,
it’s the pitfall of all humans to elevate
what they don’t understand.

what does remain is your presence,
i have the burn marks to prove it.

poets commune

we loan our words out

finishing up conversations

from so long ago

we hang the paper out in the sun

write on the surface of the moon

keep books under our pillow

as it opens the print on the paper raises off the page

it floats to the light in the middle of the ceiling

its natural form is electricity

sprinting up and down your spine as you read

at night it runs circles in your head

inspiring dreams

poets commune

poets turn these sparks into fireworks

we live inside snow globes

mirror the pain you can’t speak

we feel it and turn it into birds

and let them free

//Poets Commune By: Alec Prado//

Photo Courtesy of: Gunita Broka on Instagram

The descent

is steep.

We reached 

the peak 

too swift. 

Dying to satisfy,

expectations 

against 

our interest.

Now standing

at the edge.

A steady

extinguish.

- aleta jay

A kitchen’s moment -

Light, heat, wonderful

Smells, chemistry

Building, transforming -

Prospects of dirty

Dishes put aside for

A time - plans, formulae,

Timing, dear god,

The timing of it all

-

Interrupted

-

When you are at your

Most focused I come

Behind you sneaking on

The balls of my feet

To wrap my arms around

You, kissing the back of

Your neck, distracting you,

Leading you towards

A madness unfolding

-rb.xyz

HELLO:

My Name Is: Neversay Never

ive tasted everything between birth and dirt, between your kiss and gasping breath, its french, language of love its latin and it is dead,

My Name Is: Conse Quence

and ive seen the eye of the storm blink, its not that it never closes but that even when it does it still can see, now show of hands who wants to watch me pretend to sleep?

My Name Is: Letme Rest

.

for the first time,

hindsight was 2020

and all our foibles

came screaming

into sharp relief

so that we could

finally refocus

and become

our greatest

yet

.

~ @pocketfullofpoesies