hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
-Gang Of Youths
But you didn't cut me off
You make it out like it was never happened
Like it was nothing
But then I don't needed you to love me
Then again you treat me like a stranger
And feels so rough
Like I used to be some one you used to know.
/// Never let me change my mind again / Because I don't think I'll ever love again / And I'd try / Oh I'd try / But I'd hurt myself again ///
🎱 CURRENT JOYS, ‘“THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING”, ME OH MY MIRROR 🎱
Sunshine- An eternity preserved in three photons
Perched on the tip of your nose
Lord Huron on the radio as you kissed my eyes
Darling tell me can we love like ghosts?
I rolled happiness into a joint
Smoked it as your sky roared
Sadness was the smell of mango blossoms
From a tree nineteen years ago
Darling tell me will you remember?
The mole just below my right thumb
As they shovel dirt on your lovely curls
When your eyes get cold and numb
You asked me why I was up last night
Turning dark circles into poetry?- you said
I was writing down what you taste like
Because darling what if I forget?
How am I going to look for you?
When I open my eyes again?
So I look at you. I look at you.
And a lifetime of looking in vain
Curl your fingers in my hair as we wait
This time we don't have to get it wrong
"Can you see the lights?" I'll whisper
"Can you hear the hum of our song?"
I'll paint sunflowers on your neck
We'll lean against the white and the blue
I'll hold the thread and follow
To the other side of me. And the other side of you.
Take me back to this
Tear apart the bathroom
Scream and Cry
Make me fucking crazy
Take me back to this
Make me fall for you
i love you
Seré una persona tan fría, pero en los brazos que anhelo me derrito mil veces.
as your lips graze my skin
it was like the world beneath my feet crumbled
soon I was floating on thin air
only thing keeping me from falling was your touch
your fingertips slowly caressing my body
making shivers move down my spine
soft, nearly inaudible moans leave my lips
telling you to keep going
you look me in the eyes
moving the hair from my face
showing me how i should always been treated
making me feel like we were the only people in the world
and i can never thank you enough for that.
Poesía En Español
You left without saying goodbye
I knew you were leaving
So once I fell alseep
I chased you down in my dream
Ran to the train station
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry,
And that I want you to have this"
I handed you my red book
You looked me in the eyes,
locked me for just a moment
Glazed brown eyes
Then you left me at the platform
I woke up to the undissolved reality
I will keep you alive
in the poems I write
in the wine I drink
in the small space of my heart where I believe you’re good
where I believe I deserve you
on the cool side of my pillow case
on the damp side where salty secretions fall
people can be dead without really dying- you told me I was dead to you. I told you I was a walking corpse, merely existing here.
loss is something so unique; like pain, it hits you all at once or not at all.
or it will only hit you when your blood alcohol count is
like you were that one night.
that one night that turned into many nights, that turned into years, that turned into nothing all over again.
I will keep you alive forever because for some god damn reason- I can’t stop sharing our story.
is what I feel heartbreak? no.
it is dying early.
because maybe if I do you will stay alive
stay alive for me.
Take me to Not yet Summer when the air tastes like the years I left behind and tomorrow fucked drunk and it's my childhood once again.
To the weight of the smell of mango flowers in the air from a tree that was murdered with mercury down its roots- lingering like the ghost of a bride burnt for dowry
Take me back to listening to Justin Bieber on loop because we didn't have a music taste to speak of. When we didn't know Blind Pilot and all the ways in which he reminded you of him.
Take me back to school; back to fighting over yellow paper; back to feeling jealous of your best friend because she got to put her head on your lap on weekends. A part of me gloats at what she lost, what she gave up to me, while another part knows she left a Best Friend shaped hole in your chest my second-hand jokes could never fill
I wish we were still growing up and I could push this away because I like men. I like men and I don't feel all the peace in the world when you read out to me.
I don't want to ask you to let me hold you.
I like men.
How are you doing now?
I'm not thinking about how it's been four days since you heard from me and how it isn't bothering you at all and how my stomach feels like I drank rat poison. He gets to hold your hand and I don't and I get to pretend like this isn't tearing me apart so I guess we all have fun.
I don't want you to need me. I want you to want me. I want you to think of me and choke for air. But I only get what I don't want: Time to leave. I don't want to be time to leave yet. But it already is, it was time to leave two weeks ago but I'll live in denial and hope if I ghost it enough, Time to Leave will go away. Just like you did.
And it's funny I'm writing this now; something I'm going to make everyone else read but you, when you are the only person who can make sense of the this abominable and monstrous abuse of language.
It's funny because that Give-an-example-of-Irony-in-the-last-paragraph-of-the-poem from English paper 2 is finally hitting home. I just thought you would be here beside me when it did.
Light a cigarette in Heaven
And be close to God
I’ll miss you forever
But what’s done
You used me.
How do you think I feel?
I mean, I know you never think about me, but if you ever do, if someday the image of my naked body above you, crossess your damn mind, watching you with sparkles in my eyes...
how do you think I feel after that, after you never called back?
Midnight thoughts of my craving heart.