#pollux told ortega his old name once

[impossible-rat-babies]

sometimes I think bout names and stuff and how pollux wasn’t always pollux and james wasn’t always james and edith wasn’t always edith

#im thinkin bout names and being trans and stuff #and i joke a lot about jamie and such #and his transitioning but theres so much he doesnt see about how he’s changed #and how ortega watched him change and grow and become happier #there’s always part of the heaviness but calling jamie his name was just #like watching him light up #pollux told ortega his old name once #and it was sorta that was for a minute #and for a while be thought about letting it slide like he can deal with it #but then he was like just call me sidestep #but then it was pollux #and there was something....i dunno almosd #just something with pollux when he was called that and ortega connected the dots #and edith....oh edith #she was just sidestep for the longest time no other name #even out of costume when ortega knew her name #but it was just one night w her and ortega watching some movie and she was like #call me edith please #and just that littlest please edith gave ortega #just spoke volumes #like julia please help me figure this out because i am so painfully lost #and that just blossomed #i gOT FEELINGS #owen talks

[impossible-rat-babies]

“Why Pollux?”

“To pointedly not answer that question when people ask.”

Pollux huffs, fussing with the hairs on his chin that have grown up and along towards his lip. He’ll have to shave soon, but he’s been too lazy. Not that the mild change is appearance isn’t bad. He doesn’t have the gravitas to pull off a mustache or a beard, not like Ortega.

“Spoilsport.”

“Ask anyone and they’ll tell you how much of a wet towel I am.” Pollux glances over at Lady Argent still lazily lounging across her couch, propped up on the arm. Her legs are in his lap and he doesn’t mind; she had told him earlier she’d kill him if he tickled her, to which he had asked if she was ticklish. She’d only given him a glare which was as good as a yes and he would have to try that later/

“I wouldn’t say wet towel,” Argent drones and it’s her way of teasing. He’s getting used to the way her mind works even though he can’t take a look. She’s threatened skinning him alive for that too many times and unlike the ticklish part, she really would do it.

“More like a pile of bricks.” She concludes and he snorts, shaking his head

“Whatever, shark brain.” He teases back--patting her silverly leg--and there’s a slight competitive edge to her eyes. Not quite hungry, but tempted, circling. She wants to know, but she isn’t going to ask. She’ll wait.

Pollux’s lips quirk and he pulls his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie like a turtle retreating into his shell. He knows exactly why he picked it; it doesn’t sound anything like the name he was given, the sickening roll of how utterly sweet it could be coming off the tongue. He used it once when he first escaped, at some old motel when he wasn’t as wise as he is now to approaching the world. The front desk worker had his mind was wiped while he spent the next few minutes losing dinner into a trashcan. A quick and easy lesson in trust.

He tried others, fitting them against his skin as he tried to paint a new picture of himself. Zachary was one he kept, a name that almost fit. Good enough to use when anonymity was best. 

He sighs, chest rising and falling, eyes drifting over to her. Argent picks at the frosting on a donut before taking a bite. Strawberry, he remembers because he was the one who bought them. He had a few as well, but he didn’t have the taste for sweets like she did.

“Pollux, because of the constellation. Castor and Pollux.” He speaks up quietly and she nods, licking her thumb.

“Why not Castor?”

Pollux shrugs, up and down. “Pollux sounds better.”

Her lips quirk and he isn’t sure if she’s agreeing or doesn’t care enough either way.

“And the stars.” He adds quietly and he’s flushing because this feels stupid. It is stupid. As stupid as the first time he told Ortega. “I like the stars a lot—when you can see them. When you go out into the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night and the stars are the only thing you can see for miles.”

“Sound romantic when you put it that way.” She replies and she’s looking at him now. Pollux shrugs again, but he knows his face is still flushed.

“Makes you feel small more like it; there’s only you there with the universal staring back at you with a million eyes. But...” He bites his lip for a long moment, playing at the scar she gave him. A friendly reminder of what she was capable of and the reason why he was sitting in her apartment with her. 

“But it feels comforting; the universe has all those eyes and they’re watching you. Makes it seem like something cares enough to stare back at you.

She nods slowly, taking the last bite of a second donut she had picked up, licking the frosting off her other thumb this time.

“I guess you’re not all full of hot air, huh Pollux?” She grins and he rolls his eyes, patting her legs.

“Shut your mouth sharkbrain or I’ll shove your legs off me.” He fires back and she laughs.

#fallen hero #fallen hero: retribution #lady argent #argentstep #oc tag #oc: pollux #owen writes #loud i dunno sound #im working on their relationship #it's......yeah #he calls her sharkbrain and tells her embarrassing things #i said i would make content of them and i am