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feroluce · 11 days

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Lucid Dreamer (1/2)

part 2

Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!

But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.

He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.

And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.

…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.

Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-

Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.

Gepard goes back home. He waits.

The uneasiness doesn't leave him.

"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.

"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.

Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."

Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.

"…I'll be back in one more week."

Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.

The hell.

The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.

He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!

Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.

He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.

He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.

He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.

"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.

"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.

"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.

Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."

Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.

Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.

Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-

"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."

Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.

"Wake up."

Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.

He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.

And he waits and he waits and he waits.

No one he recognizes appears.

#sampard #gepo #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #gepard landau #sampo koski #honkai star rail #hsr #blood #my fics #lucid dreamer #there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams #the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead #Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha #In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up #and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart #Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone #he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard #he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en #it was nice to get the chance to do all that #it was nice

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feline-evil · 2 months

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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!

#jay talkin #metalocalypse #im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection #and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao #also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life #aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear #but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once #and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast #but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth #maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream #i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do #theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl #but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional #these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact #the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around #im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy #everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system #they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow #their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!

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bleue-flora · 1 month

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Ok sooo, I can’t stop thinking about the line from this post [here] by @swordfright , “Sam is a builder and dream is the ultimate engineering project: challenging (psychologically taxing to guard), important (to the stability of the server), rewarding (on those sporadic occasions when dream obeys him without question), and ceaseless (because the ideal prisoner always needs a warden to keep them in line.)” Because the idea that Dream is Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” really got me thinking about the definition of the duties of an engineer as per the Code of Ethics, which I studied in college.

As an engineer it is basically our responsibility to maintain sustainable development, which The National Society of Professional Engineers (NSPE) defines [here] in the Code of Ethics as, “meeting human needs for natural resources, industrial products, energy, food, transportation, shelter, and effective waste management while conserving and protecting environmental quality and the natural resource base essential for future development.” Even further, as a civil engineer (which I am and Sam is as a primary builder) it is our job to help provide the infrastructure and necessities to life, (shelter, water and by extension food +) with civil engineering encompassing the engineering fields of Structural (bridges, buildings, dams… etc), Utilities (power, gas, water, waste water… etc), Geotechnical (analyze and maintain that the ground can support projects), Environmental (protecting the stability of the environment like for example protecting the habitat of an endangered species), Transportation (roads for cars, train tracks, airplane runways… etc). Pretty much the necessities of civilization (lol hence civil). And I found this interesting because it is Sam’s job as the warden to provide the fundamental and basic necessities of Dream’s life in every way. So, in this way Dream would actually be the society Sam’s engineering is meant to benefit from and depends on (which he obviously denies and uses to abuse.)

But on the other side, interestingly a 2004 definition, [found here] of civil engineering based on Thomas Tredgold’s 1828 original is, “the art of working with the great sources of power in nature for the use and benefit of society”. And oh, the use of power here could very well be a good representation of Dream, making him actually the engineering project. Further, The NSPE Code of Ethics states, “Engineering has a direct and vital impact on the quality of life for all people. Accordingly, the services provided by engineers require honesty, impartiality, fairness, and equity, and must be dedicated to the protection of the public health, safety, and welfare.” In this sense, Sam’s position as the warden was dedicated to the protection of the public health, safety, and welfare, which by keeping Dream locked up, weakening him physically and mentally he was in essence trying to protect the server as well as working to strip the sources of power Dream had over everyone. And when his methods didn’t work, he let Quackity in, which funnily enough goes along with one of the The Institute of Industrial and Systems Engineers (IISS)’s summarizing stated [here] fundamental canons, “Engineers shall perform services only in the areas of their competence.” And clearly Sam was not competent in getting the book from Dream, so he teams up with Quackity, his contractor, to finish the project as is typical in the engineering industry.

All this to say, that Sam as an engineer, while not sworn to follow a defined of code ethics still followed the general defined duties of engineering and strived to work for the betterment of the server. A personality and behavior, that Dream saw in him as they grew as friends and worked to build the prison - Sam’s passion for helping, to provide for and develop the necessities of society. His passion for wanting to use his skills to improve the world and help people. His strong principles of dependability, efficiency, justice, work ethic. If Sam was given a job to help people he was going to see it through to the best of his ability. He would not abandon his post, he would protect and serve the common good. - His strong engineering attitude made him a good choice in Dream’s mind for the warden, because of these qualities, which makes sense. What Dream did not realize is that he was not included in the society and all people Sam felt obligated to serve and provide for.

Instead, Dream was but a resource of power - the revival book - needing to be made efficient and accessible, so that everyone could benefit and share that power. Dream thought he’d be provided for and taken care of, but he was the project instead. Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair. He was such a good engineer just like Dream knew he would be, he just forgot the whole teeny weeny ethics part of being an engineer that kind of comes with the job description… Oh well. ;)

#poor dream depending on his engineer to keep him safe and being let down in the biggest of ways #he ran from a war to a building and trusted it to keep him safe but it collapsed instead destroying him…..#did I make sense…. I’m not sure I got my thoughts across..#hmm oh well words are hard sometimes…#c!dream #dsmp #dreblr #dream smp #pandora's vault #dsmp analysis #c!sam #c!sam and c!dream #this is fine #did someone order an essay?#welll… blame swordfright for giving me brain rot… lol XD #pandora’s vault has a singular purpose #probably gave you way more engineering info than you wanted but… of well lol <3 :)#oh sam… never ceases to break my heart…#sam the most unethical engineer and he didn’t even steal more from the government #or bribe or cut corners he just straight up neglected the fact that all people includes all people…

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scintillyyy · 3 months

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there is probably an entire essay i could write about how 'chuck dixon hates poor people' is very true but is a lot more nuanced in that 'chuck dixon hates poor people, but no, not those type of poor people, he thinks they deserve a helping hand actually' and 'don't mistake what's actually racism & sexism for what seems to be classism, because again, he doesn't hate that type of poor person, actually' & 'in order to understand this mindset of his you also need to understand 90s conservativism & how he can support some poor people and not others and how he can be inherently contradictory like that, the eras in which he grew up and shaped his worldview' & 'this mindset of his is so baked into the characters of tim and steph in different ways & while tim's is more overt and easy to see, it's also a little easier to divorce from his character because it's so overt and in your face, but steph's story is a lot more insidiously conservative and everything about his conservative mindset & conservativeness of her story is far more inherent and so baked into every formative and key aspect of her character it's actually harder to do with steph without completely changing her as a character'

#sorry i'm forever having thoughts about stuff like this #like you need to understand him hating poor people is not a monolith. there are good poor people & bad poor people #like reading his comics as someone who has unfortunately #had to spend a lot of time with people who think like him by nature of. you have to treat ppl regardless of of whether you agree with them #i can see. see everything in what he wrote and see how intrinsic it is.#like tim's brand of his conservativism is so overt & in your face & the panels are all there #steph u need a primer on the american dream the book hillbilly elegy the conservative idea that certain people deserve success #tim is a comic book fairy tale. rich person stumbles his way into stopping crime is a tale as old as batman & it is conservative but #steph is a conservative fairy tale. the bootstraps story conservatives love #her eventual success is so inherently entwined with worldview and you can't change that #it is soo much harder to divorce it from the conservative wet dream it ultimately is #like obviously steph is not at fault for her creator #but the conservatism in her story absolutely leaps out to me lol i can see it it's so obvious to me and it's unfortunately #so important to her story

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barbiegirldream · 5 months

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I think Dream updates accounts and twitter users in general ought to practice the golo art of not tweeting everything that ccs say and do.

#george makes a joke about poor people and you will not see one Peep about it on twitter #dream stans would be holding open fourm free for alls on the tl

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seventeendeer · 7 months

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adventure time, baby, I'm going to keep it real with you: you had the perfect meta setup (a spinoff of a children's cartoon made for adults who grew up with said cartoon) for a story about two characters desperate to return to simpler times (fionna longing for the subconscious memory of a fantasy land where nothing is complex and she won't have to face the trials of young adulthood in her now-mundane world, simon longing to lose his mind again so he won't have to remember his grief) coming to realize that the "simpler times" they remember were never as straightforward as their idealized memories (fionna realizing that her black-and-white worldview was actually just deeply biased and ultimately harmful, simon realizing that ice king was just as miserable as simon himself and simply lacked the tools to parse his own emotions), the idealized past they want to return to was never real, and in order to move forward, they have to face the painful realities they've been trying to avoid, mature as people, and learn to see beauty and value in their own respective lives, even if they're not the lives they'd hoped for

and then that didn't happen. there was a perfect metaphor for the false allure of nostalgia using THE "whimsical at first glance/shockingly grim under the surface" children's cartoon RIGHT THERE. How Did You Fuck That Up

#deerchatter #adventure time spoilers #i liked this series a lot but i was SO hoping the plot was a setup for a message along the lines of like #hey we know growing up is hard and you may well be tuning back into adventure time to escape the horrors of now being an adult #but this show was never the digestible silly good time you remember and neither was your childhood #don't you remember the pain? you were sad back then too except it was worse because you had no emotional tools to help yourself through it #did things seem simpler? they weren't. you hurt people and made poor choices without realizing it. you were young and didn't know any better #but you know better now. you have a responsibility to grow and learn and make better choices. this is a GOOD thing.#like do you see my vision!!!! the meta layers!!!! the potential for a painful but necessary message about choosing to grow+change+LIVE #taking a kind-but-critical eye to our childhood dreams and learning from them and applying nuance and learning to value complexity #fionna stagnating emotionally in early adulthood because of fear of the future+simon stagnating in his twilight years due to regret #aghhh i wish they'd gone for this SO BADLY it would have been the show of ALL TIME OHH #i did still like the ending a lot but. i was soooo hoping for this

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iangallagherisadeadman · 1 day

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post-s11 Tami definitely gets tired of Lip and leaves him.

yes, I do like them as a couple, I think it is an interesting dynamic and that Tami is good for him honestly, even though they lived completely different lives and crash so many times because of it throughout the last seasons.

fact is Lip won't ever change and will keep making the same kind of mistakes and she will get fed up with it eventually. they'll go different ways, maybe keep a somewhat friendly relationship, and she will get a new partner and Lip will have a Sean kind of relationship with Fred: that kid is the most important thing in his whole life and he's constantly hunted by the fear of drinking again and hurting Fred.

#headcanon?#its not that i desire lip to be unhappy and unlovable i just feel like he wont get his happy ending living the way he is #making the decisions hes making treating people the way he does #i feel like he is going to mature by the power of love because of fred i truly believe that #also no fucking way hes going to be poor for the rest of his life hes a genius and a southside he will get up and fix this up #i like him as a mecanic but that one s11 scene that he saves that dude a lot of money in the computer doing a super simple thing #means to me hes not done with the whole engineer thing. he just will need lots of money and labs he used to have acess at college and doesn #anymore but he will do whats necessary and turn things around definitely #maybe he thinks he can pull this off without going back to college and eventually realises he cant and then has to try to pick up his credi #and finish somewhere near? i dont know i dont understand lots about US educational system #honestly my dream is for him to work for debbie so she could be his boss it would be his life karma and make her happy #but that would never happen unfortunately #lip gallagher #tami tamietti #fred gallagher #shameless #shameless us #og.

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thistransient · 3 days

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We've been having noticeable earthquakes all day, which I'm tolerant of to a point because they're not that strong in Taipei, but while I'm taking a shower is where I draw the line.

#not that the tectonic plates care about my boundaries #it's just the point where i start to get annoyed #i suppose i should think of the poor people in hualien being shaken not stirred #it could be worse. i could be showering in hualien.#although honestly i have never ever had the desire to move there #taitung is my only east coast dream and that's typhoon land

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cloudcountry · 3 months

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i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle

#auburn's rambles <3 #i think about that time when people were shipping me w him a lot #and i don't think i ever really addressed how bad it made me feel #like i told people to stop yeah but now whenever i see idia i think about how upset and frustrated i was #like it keeps coming BACK i can't get it out of my HEAD #THIS GOT KINDA VENTISH WAIT #idk man it's late i should be asleep but Fuck i cannot stop thinking about how that got so out of hand #my poor lab partner had to deal w me that day LMAO i like. cried in front of her #and i don't know why my brain keeps coming back to it because nobody makes jokes like that anymore #and everyone who did sent me apologies which was so sweet #anyways hello ygys i think i just needed to get this off my chest goodnight #FOR CLARIFICATION I AM OK!!!! i think im just emotional rn and i did not expect to dump a whole ass essay here #muah muah love ygys thank u for being on my side i hope all of your pillows are cold and you have sweet dreams

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brainworms-all-night-long · 2 months

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Tags from my previous post via @000marie198 (I made this a separate post so I can link it to the fic in case someone else would want additional context but it got way too long for me to just slap it at the begining of the fic itself👍)

Alright so, the spark notes version of the stuff one needs to know exept it's not sparknotes at all because I cannot be normal about this guy rn:

Nightmare!Sans is an Undertale AU thing specifically from an AU called Dreamtale created by @/jokublog (go read the Drematale comic go read it RIGHT NOW, it has epik sun and moon brothers angst– no pressure tho :D) that 13-14 year old me was absolutely insane over. For the purposes of this fic all you need to know is that he's an evil bastard bitch that psychologically tortures people for fun but rarely actually kills cuz dead people can't suffer anymore and that's no fun for him.

More seriously he's the embodiment of negativity, grows stronger from negative emotions and his mere presence amplifies them. His name is pretty self-explanatory, but Im not sure if he can directly influence what's exactly going on or if it's just his bad vibes that cause people to have nightmares, but this is my au and I get to do whatever I want. He's also a shapeshifter made of toxic sludge that burns if you touch it for too long. Oh, and the only one that even has a chance at fighting or fending him off is his twin brother Dream who is the guardian of positivity (which is as good as poison to Nightmare and the only thing that causes damage to him I forgor to mention!!) is not at all present in Sonic's world at the moment :)

#running from a nightmare #Idk a lot of additional stuff about him and Dream are accumulated fandom knowledge over the years #I'm sure I don't know a bunch of stuff too #and a lot of the facts also got obstructed with poorly mischaracterizing and infantalizing #yet unfortunately really popular fannon #and I don't even know which blog or post even begin hunting down to check for em!!#also uh #maybe like watch out #in a case the stars align perfectly and you mayhaps decide to check out pictures of him cuz #people can get really weird about him like super werid #aside from that there's really frequent body horror and gore #cuz the poor child he possesed went through some shit before dying brutally #IM RAMBLING #damn it this mf just gets me going insane fr fr #anyway

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