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nicherayyy · 11 months

Note

ok. i have the most amazing idea. child reader, but they're from south park and hung around stan's group all the time before moving. (the list of crimes is astronomical, just like cartman and them). basically la squadra and south park! child! reader. bonus points if they have immortality like kenny

Anon you are genius!! And South Park is literally one of my fav shows

TW: cursing, mention of really disturbing crimes and cannibalism (not from reader's side ofc) but it's South Park so there's nothing to be shocked with

La Squadra x Child! South Park! Reader

No one in La Squadra has any idea how they ended up in this situation.. with you.. the most feral 8 year old they ever saw.

Risotto def didn't expect this, I mean, you're just a child, what can go wrong?

Everything.

Everything goes wrong.

At first he didn't even want to tell you about the whole assassin thing. Cuz you know, you're a literal child. You actually found out by accident, finding some random documents on Risotto's desk.

And the last thing Ris wanted was to scare you. He was about to explain himself and that whatever they do, they have no intentions to hurt you while you just listened, like.. it didn't even bothered you?

The only thing you said was:

"Dude I don't really care what you do for a living"

The poor man was too stunned to speak.

Prosciutto HATES your cursing habit. Sometimes he thinks you're an old sailor that saw some things, not a child. You've got a bigger vocabulary than the whole La Squadra combined, I'm not even joking.

He tried to make you stop cursing, he really did.

Pros, in fact, didn't succeed.

"Oh fuck"

"Language"

"Shut up old fart"

"What did you just say??"

Yeah, he can't do this anymore.

Poor Pesci is terrified. How can a child be like.. this??! Children must be naive and innocent, but you?? Ohhh you're the other case.

You actually find it funny that Pesci is so scared of your stories about your old times in South Park. Pls stop traumatising him.

And you're just telling this at random times, which scares him even more.

"Oh, that's a nice chili, I remember my friend ate something like that once"

"Oh.. was it with beef too?"

"No, it was with his enemy's parents"

"WHAT"

Can I just say no one ate chili that day?

Illuso thinks it's amusing, really.

"I'll pay 200 lira if you go and say all curse words you know to Formaggio right now"

"400 lira and we have a deal"

But I won't lie, your stories are scaring him sometimes.

"You know I died once"

"Eh??"

Sometimes he thinks you saw more than him.

Formaggio really likes your stories. But one small issue, he thinks that most of your stories are a joke. Because how can an 8 year old saw so many disturbing things? Of course, it must be just your imagination.

Oh how wrong he was.

"I once was arrested for starting a Peruvian flute band with my friends"

"Haha, yeah, nice"

"And the government sent us to Peru"

"Of course, I believe you"

Actually, Melone is more interested in all your "I died once" thing. Like how?? You just rise from the dead?

"Dude, chill, my friend literally does the same"

So there's another immortal child?? What are you two, Jesus??

"I don't know it's because of some shitty cult I guess?"

"What cult??"

But anyway, he's interested in you in scientific way and doesn't care much about your little crime stories.

Ohhh, Ghiaccio and you are buffing every day. Morning, day, and night.

You just take any opportunity to piss him off. One day for example you pronounced your words wrong (he still remembers that).

Or you can start an argument with him about anything. No matter how small it is. The whole team now tries to distract you so they won't hear Ghiaccio's screams.

"Would you ever stop being so annoying?"

"I don't know, would you ever stop being such a bitch?"

And there it goes.

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rae-pss · 4 months

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Hello, may I please ask for headcanons for la squadra reacting to their s/o turning absolutely feral when they got backed to a corner. They got kidnapped and they turned crazy, like they bite their captor’s throat and rip it out, blood and all and scratch their eyes out. Please

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . okay, read this one and got quite of like "huh...?", imagine the scene was something for sure. i'll make this as them all dating reader, simply because it wasn't specified. hope you like it, dear anon (<3).

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, mentions of blood and slight gore.

–the nerve someone had to kidnap you wasn't anything normal, especially considering who you were affiliated with.

–to say that madness spread through the base as soon as they realized your absence was an understatement.

–there were hours in which the group of seven men did everything and more to find where you were and, once they found out your exact location, plan in detail how to attack and get you out of there with the least possible damage.

–so, imagine their surprises when upon entering where you were, they found themselves face to face with a scene that not even in their worst dreams they could fathom.

more under the cut

–blood, a lot of blood on the walls and floor.

–two limp bodies on the ground, neither being yours, their throats bitten to the point where their heads almost looked decapitated. crimson puddles surrounded the corpses, an expression of horror evident on their faces.

–however, what caught the group's attention the most was, without a doubt, how your lips, your jaw, you were stained with the blood of those two… what had you just done?

—of all, the most concerned duo is, without a doubt, prosciutto and pesci. they both can't help: one, fearing that you had hurt yourself, and two, worrying about how you had done that. even the older one screaming at you for doing that, although, he later apologized for shouting at you after such a stressful event. and, the younger one, almost started crying, yet with some words from yours he managed to relax.

—risotto was, to no one's surprise, the one that reacted the calmest; simply asking if you were okay and sending the others to help clean up any evidence that could incriminate you. yes, once in the solitude of his room, he hugged you as if it were the last time he'd do so and whispered in your ear how worried he actually was.

—the first thing illuso and formaggio did, after putting on an expression of pure surprise, was laugh and joke about the massacre you did. in spite of their concern for you, knowing that you were fine, they both decided to take it more as something funny that you'd laugh at in the future, yes, they both gave you hugs (illuso did so in secret).

—melone was in charge of checking to see if you had any injuries or physical wounds, which you didn't have, much less the marks from the ropes with which they tied your hands and possible damage to your jaw from such bites that you launched. he laughed softly, and despite that, he left a kiss on your forehead telling you not to do that again and to give them a little more time to get there.

—if you think prosciutto yelled at you, wait until you see the reaction ghiaccio had. the poor guy lost his temper faster than usual, commenting loudly on the madness of it all. more exalted one couldn't be. although, later, once he had calmed down, he also asked for your forgiveness.

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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 7 months

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Can I request La Squadra x S/O who's taller than them? Thank you.

yes you caaaaaan! Sorry if these are, ironically, shorter HCs.

jsyk i write this with the opinion that Risotto is by far the tallest

------------------------------------------------- La Squadra with an S/O who's taller than them!

Formaggio

"Well yea, it's easy to be taller than me, heh" *insert shrinking...noises?*

The taller the S/O, the more inclined he feels to shrink himself and ride on your shoulder. Get used to it.

Bro gets on his tippy toes to kiss you. he doesn't even have to but he still does. It's kind of cute?

Illuso

"No you're not."

Unless you're taller than him by like. A foot or some shit. He is adamant you two are at least the same height.

He doesn't bring it up unless you do but...he subtly tries to make himself seem taller. It's so fucking petty, you decide if it's annoying or charming :/

Prosciutto

"Alright, and?"

He probably cares the least about your height. Sure, you're taller than him. So what? Unless his head is at like. boob level 24/7 or something somehow, he doesn't care.

Unless you bring it up, or poke fun at him being shorter. You better think his glares are sexy 'cause....

If you're tall enough for it to matter, he'll do the "pulling you by the collar into a kiss" thing

Pesci

"Being near you...feels so secure...."

He loves it!!!! When you hug him it feels like you're completely surrounding him...like, not literally, but the idea is so comforting!

I was going to say you should rest your chin on top of his head but...um...how sturdy is his hair?

If you're happy with your height, he'll bring it up a lot when he compliments you.

Melone

"DI MOLTO"

"Is your whole family like that?"

Excited to know if it's something that runs strong in your genetics. No particular reason. Trust me.

Like Pesci, he doesn't have any issues with having a taller s/o. It's just another lovely aspect about you <3

Ghiaccio

"Okay fine, I get it! For fucks sake!"

This poor guy. To be honest, he really doesn't care that you're taller than him, he thinks its fine. But people won't leave him alone about it

Yeah he's an "angry little gremlin thing" but they gotta stop dragging his s/o into it...it kind of sours the height difference a little.

But like I said, he really doesn't have any issues with it. If you can get past how much the comments annoy him, you can probably see how much he likes your chin on top of his head, or how you look so slightly down on him when your faces are so close....gah sorry what was i doing-

Risotto

"Be nice. They're are not scary."

yes you are. my lactose intolerant ass envies you. what the actual fuck.

I guess that's a pro about him being with someone taller than him, that he can't intimidate his s/o with his height? That's not to imply that he's intimidated by you though!!

Unless people are causing a fuss about it though, Risotto doesn't mind your height. I don't think physical appearance means much when it comes to partners to him? Just my personal feeling.

#I feel like this was a bit rusty. probably because it's shorter #la squadra #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #formaggio x reader #risotto x reader #ghiaccio x reader #illuso x reader #pesci x reader #jjba #melone x reader #prosciutto x reader #ive come to realize my headcanons are rarely ever 100% fluffy #like i often bring up annoying/not totally fun parts of characters in the hcs #i kind of do it naturally but #is it..something people like?#its more realisticish i guess but at the same time i get why some people may not wanna be surrounded by their favorite characters flaws #in random x reader writing #i am! overthinking! but if i can get peoples answers on this anyways it would be nice

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porunareff · 11 months

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#jojo #jjba #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #tried to use mostly underrated ones #i honestly don't know which one i'd even vote myself #i love so many of these #everyone vs kira kinda hits different tho idk idk

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gayboyasher · 3 months

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Can you please do la squadra reacting to the reader calling them “cute”? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

I just really need some fluff rn

FLUFF is the WAY!! I had to re-do this because my dumbass closed out the app and forgot to save, and I was just about to Melone 😭😔 anyway, I gave them things that they probably do that are cute. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with them

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Rissotto

Rissotto does this thing where when he’s concentrated, he furrows his brows and looks frustrated, but it’s so cute at the same time. He was doing this whole working, and you just had to tell him how cute he was!

At first, he seemed confused, cute?? Really?

He laughs softly, trying to think of something to say to that.

“Sole mio, I’m working.”

He doesn’t mean it in a mean way, but now he’s distracted from you pointing it out.

His focus turns to stopping his “quirk”, and then that gets him distracted.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto taps his fingers. He taps them on any surface, or he’ll just tap his fingers against his thumb. He’ll especially do this while he’s taking a phone call. Once he gets off the phone you tell him about it.

He looks at you like your crazy. He thinks it’s crazy.

Prosciutto is very much a macho man. He believes that the word cute is something not to describe masculine things, especially him.

He sighs and shakes his head in disappointment, finger wag and all. He doesn’t even say anything.

He’s another one who tries to stop it, and boy was he not able to do it.

Someone needs to explain to this poor boy he doesn’t have to be embarrassed to be called cute

Pesci

Pesci tends to hum. He’ll hum a tune that’s been stuck in his head and it’ll get stuck into your head. He’s also just cute doing absolutely nothing. He’s cute in general. Someone needs to say it.

Once you tell him that, he goes red. He doesn’t know how to take a compliment, so he’s just stuttering and stammering, trying to compliment you.

His ears are already hot and his mind is blank.

“You really mean it? You’re cuter!”

God, he’s completely flustered.

He doesn’t try to get rid of the habit, but still thinks about it

Formaggio

Formaggio actually is also another cutie. He could sit there and be cute. But I see him acting all cute trying on clothes and flexing in them.

Once you tell him he’s cute he’s a little shocked, but not in any bad way.

He’s another macho man, but he’s not gonna be upset by being called cute!

He thinks of it as you hyping him up even more.

“Awh, you really think so? You must think I’m handsome too, huh? You’re pretty cute yourself.”

He just tries to embarrass you.

Illuso

He uses his computer quite a bit, and he focuses hard. When ever he does, he sticks his tongue out just slightly and squints his eyes. It’s actually adorable if you think about it.

Knowing his online history, he was probably in the middle of cyber bullying while you said that.

He’s a little flustered, but he understands the hype, he is the finest one out of the team (in his opinion)

“You really think so? Even when I’m being so mean?”

Another teaser. He’s gonna be cocky.

He doesn’t try to get rid of the quirk either, but he stops squinting his eyes.

Melone

ANOTHER one on his computer. You don’t even wanna know what’s on his computer, but his face looks so gentle and calm. He’s another one who can just sit there and be cute.

When you first initially call him cute, he doesn’t realize you’re even talking to him.

It takes him a second and once he notices, he smiles and looks up at you

His face gets a tad bit hot, and he wants to make you feel the same way.

“Miele, you really think so? I think you’re cuter.”

He teases, and he teases well.

He teases in a nice way. It’s actually cute

Ghiaccio

When he’s concentrated, he bites his lip gently. It’s actually very cute, and it seems to be one of the only times he’s not angry.

He takes it like an insult at first

He’s not a macho man, but he thinks it was passive aggressive.

“What does that mean Amore?? Was that backhanded or something??”

You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to be mean

Another poor boy who can’t take compliments.

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dolce-tenebra-toscana · 9 months

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La squadra's spice tolerance, from highest to lowest 🌶🌶🌶

1) Formaggio 🧀

Cheese man has the highest tolerance among his teammates, can easily eat a whole chili withput breaking a sweat and actually enjoys spicy food. However he has to remember to control himself when he makes " Aglio olio e peperoncino ", last time he sent one of his friends at the er ( more on that later 👀 )

2) Pesci 🐟

I know it's surprising, but pesci actually handles heat like a pro! His nonna and mamma are very fond on heavily seasoned cooking and they taught Pesci that a high tolerance to spices means you have a strong and warm heart.

He may not handle coffee, but he can easily eat a whole jar of 'nduja by himself!

3) Melone 🍈

Now Melone is more fond on sweet and sour than spicy, but his tolerance is actually kinda high! He can't actually explain that to himself and other to be honest cause he rarely eats spicy foods but when he does, you won't hear him complain that much; just some " ooh, maiala scotta scotta!!" Or " Deh che gliè un piccantino sto troiaio?"

4) Illuso 🔍

Now we are reaching the bottom of the pit, and illuso's sensitive tastebuds get a real kick in the shins whenever he eats spicy! Which is weird since he really likes pepper, but put even just a lil pinch of chili powder more than it supposed to be in his plate and he'll complain all night about how is tongue is " ruined forever "...such a drama queen

5) Risotto ✂️

You want the big scary capo out of your way for 2 hours? Make thai food for dinner, or even just season his pasta with the blandest chili powder you can find; you'll see him caugh and cry in no time.

His iron deficiency and his low spicy tolerance are a deadly mix and the only thing it can help him in that case is a 2 hours nap after a good ice cream, poor capo he tries his best when he goes to resturants tho 🤣

6) Prosciutto 🍖

No. Just no, take that f*cking devil dandruff away from him. Not only he can't handle spicy food, he hates it from the bottom of his heart! This includes both ethnic and italian foods, his refined palate only allows sophisticated and delicate flavours inside his mouth....and then smokes Malboro but that's beside the point! You'll never even see Prosciutto eating spicy food...but if you do prepare to see him run to the bathroom to throw up.

7) Ghiaccio 🧊

Tastebuds of a 3 year old child? Y e s!

Ghiaccio can't even SMELL the chili powder in the air that he starts gagging and caughing like crazy!! Even pepper has to stay away from his plate, and no joke he'll straight up punch you if you even dare to put something like that nearby his plate. And yes, he is the poor guy who went to the ER after tasting formaggio's food; apparently the nurses were afraid cause he looked like a rabid dog screaming blasphemies, crying, salivating and spitting....not a good sight at all.

In conclusion, Ghiaccio will have " spezzatino e polenta " grazie~

Pesca has the highest tolerance of the group, the boys saw her eating whole chilis like popcorn and were kinda freaked out 🤣

#jojo part 5 #la squadra #jjba #la squadra headcanons #jjba risotto #jjba melone #jjba ghiaccio #jjba prosciutto #jjba illuso #jjba pesci #jjba formaggio

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mskrysta-art · 1 year

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Very curious on your take on Fem! Prosciutto and also how she'll interact with Fem! Pesci

Btw love your art keep on going!! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

OMG i LOVE drawing fem Prosh really!

One of the reasons being of course designing her outfits, i really like this classy style so with every art i try to change a lil her suit design! I see her as a very feminine strong and strict woman (as Miranda in the Devil Wears Prada for example). As for Pesci i tent to change the og outfit less leaving it as in canon or adding few details so it doesn't look as plain in comparison to the others ( also it made it look like she wears an 70s-ish jumpsuit and an afghan coat which looks very different in style to Prosciutto's)

They have a lil similar colour palette with very different styles that makes them to me a very fun combo to draw!

I also headcanon them growing up together in orphanage and they just are stick together since. I feel like Pesci needed someone to look up to as Prosciutto, who was determined and with a goal to get out from poor and miserable live as soon as possible she needed to grow up very early. Now i see this two very similar to Lemon and Tangerine from Bullet Train movie!

like look at them and tell me im wrong

youtube

#jojos bizarre adventure #jojo fanart #jojo #jjba #jjba pesci #jjba prosciutto #jjba genderbend #gender bender #fem! la squadra #golden wind #vento aureo #jjba part 5

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jojosbizzarewife · 5 months

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Winter/Holiday Headcanons

La Squadra

Risotto, Prosciutto, Pesci, Melone, Illuso, Formaggio, Ghiaccio

—————————————————————————

Risotto

writes "from Santa" instead of "From Risotto" on all gifts and cards he gives out this season

Prosciutto

poor guy gets cold hands a lot, so he always keeps hand warmers in his coat

Pesci

loves to watch the fireworks on New Years - gathers all of La Squadra outside and gives them each a sparkler

Melone

gifts everybody sexy red underwear at Christmas for them to wear them on New Years

Illuso

makes his own mulled wine every December - he even makes enough to share

Formaggio

Celebrates Hanukkah. Every night of Hanukkah, all of the members in La Sqadra join in to light a candle

Ghiaccio

if the others piss him off this season, he will freeze their hot drinks

#jojo #jojo brainrot #jjba brainrot #jjba imagines #jojo imagines #la squadra #vento aureo #risotto nero #prosciutto jjba #pesci jjba #illuso jjba #formaggio jjba #melone jjba #ghiaccio jjba

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the-lavender-room · 11 months

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La squadra headcannons I have

Risotto

Suffered a head injury when he was little. It caused some blood vessels in his eyes to burst and making his Scleras to appear black. He would have suffered visions lost if he got older.

He was raised by his aunt and uncle, and his cousin was more like his brother. (lost contact with the former two)

Had a lot of piercings though he wears them less after getting his stand.

Because of his stand; he has a constant feeling of bugs under his skin. It doesn’t bother him that much, but he still get very itchy sometimes.

Was pretty thin and lanky when he first joined and felt awkward when he walked with others.

Illuso

Second tallest of the team(6’6)

His dad’s vanilla ice, he was there in Egypt during those four years. (where he got his stand, boy in the mirror) the longer they stay, the more obsessed Ice became of DIO; to the point that he almost completely stopped interacting with his son and didn’t notice he got a stand. (Even DIO was disappointed in Ice)

He watched the fight between Vanilla Ice and Polnareff (form the safety of the mirror realm) but still blames DIO for his dad’s death more than polnareff. (Would still throw hands with him tho)

Joined Passione at 13, tho he was an escort before he was reassigned as an assassin.

Spent a lot of time alone at first.

Formaggio

collects cars (actual cars) he keeps them in a box under his bed.

Got his cat during his first “solo” hit. (She was catnapped)

Made his apartment accessible for when he’s tiny. (Small ropes and ladders to get to high places, mini Hammocks to lounge in e.t.)

Tries to get along with the others

Loves shity B movie slashers (the ones with the bad cgi) but he also makes fun of them.

Likes bugs and know a lot about them.

Melone

Naturally blonde but dyes his hair purple.

A bit squeamish and doesn’t do well with gore or bloody scenes.

Youngest of seven and was mostly raised (and bullied) by his siblings since his dad was a dead beat and his mom committed when he was three.

The only member of La squadra to go to college (he didn’t finish)

Has a chemical burn on the side of his face; making him partially blind in one eye (he covers it with his hair)

Risotto was going to take him to get their nips pierced.

Prosciutto

Born into mafia (a different gang that merged Passione)

smoker (he smoke da weed)

Uses his stand to get senior discounts.

Spends most of his paycheck on expensive clothes. unfortunately, he insists on wearing them on missions were they get torn often.

Collects books, he doesn’t read them, but he collects them.

Pesci

Youngest member (19)

His mom and prosciutto’s knew each other, unfortunately both died in a gang related incident.

Begged prosciutto to let him join. He finally let him (at 17) but Pesci severely underestimated what he was getting into.

Everyone’s little brother.

Ghiaccio

Autistic.

Is resistant to the cold (not immune) but can’t handle hot temperatures. Learned to use his stand to cool himself off.

Has uncomfortably cold (to others) skin (this is why he wears more clothes)

Born stand user. Had poor temperature regulation and was sick often do to overheating.

Can use the “helmet” of white album to see if he doesn’t have his glasses.

Ran away from home.

Lived with sorbet and gelato since he was 12 (he tried to steal sorbet’s wallet) and didn’t know they were assassins until he was 16.

Didn’t really interact with or get to know the others until he was 19 (when sorbet and gelato die) except for Risotto and sometimes formaggio.

Likes video games (sonic, Pokémon, e.t)

Trans.

Sorbet and gelato (together)

Both in mid to early 40s.

Did a lot of crime all around Europe before joining Passione.

Were originally hired to train new stand user assassins, not to be full time ones. Though, they were expecting mature and experienced adults, instead they got people who were barely adults (18 at the oldest)

Really want a more normal and domestic life and know they can’t get one; no matter how hard they try.

Sorbet

Mild pyrophobia (has panic attacks when near anything big than a campfire)

Has burn scars on his back and arms.

French

3rd tallest (6’5) but can lift Risotto pretty easily.

Pretty quiet, mostly because he doesn’t like his own voice (very raspy voice, sometimes hurts when he shouts) is good for intimidation tho.

Cannibal (happened by accident)

Gelato

Doesn’t eat most meats except fish (he’s fine eggs, dairy, e.t)

Ex-military (got discharged for being gay💅)

Has ADHD and gets very talkative (sorbet loves his voice)

Has a younger brother (it’s someone:) who was also mentally ill. His parents made him help take care of him. He didn’t hate his brother, but he also left as soon as he could. Sometimes he wonders how he’s doing.

Pretty much second in command of La squadra.

Has a big scar on the side of his face.

Gets into fights a lot. Mostly with other people, sometimes with his own teammates, mostly prosciutto (they disagree a lot)

#not art #jjba #jojo bizarre adventure #golden wind #jjba vento auero #risotto nero #formaggio #illuso #prosciutto #melone #Pesci #ghiaccio #jojo sorbet #jojo gelato #sorlato #headcanon #la squadra

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squadrah · 1 year

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What would be each of La Squadra's biggest regrets?

Risotto: It's a tie between necessarily cutting ties with his family after he avenged his cousin and not realizing sooner that Sorbet and Gelato were flying too close to the sun with their snooping.

Formaggio: When he thinks about his mother and all her hopes for him turning into someone respectable and admirable, he gets a really sour taste in his mouth despite not minding how his life panned out.

Prosciutto: He sometimes wonders if he could have destroyed or killed his abusers sooner than he did, and regrets that he had complied for so long with the people who made his life hell.

Pesci: His biggest regret always revolves around having disappointed someone, from his family to the various small time gangs he chased after and now his team for life. Always mourning his failures there.

Ghiaccio: He could have received a full education but couldn't complete his studies because he got expelled and then joined the mafia, and he still feels shame over this making him look stupid.

Melone: His state of health preventing him from pursuing all of his different interests. He's neutral on his own issues, but every time they get in the way he feels regret that he's not strong enough.

Illuso: He used to dream of becoming a famous celebrity, with all the glory and riches that entails, and he sometimes regrets not taking bigger and bolder risks that could have landed him that life.

Sorbet: He regrets his entire lineage all the way back to the first poor schmuck to land with the debt that would plague the family for generations, and wishes he had been born elsewhere.

Gelato: Like Melone, he wishes he could have done more. By the devil he had done all he could and his health was no obstacle, but his (never written down) bucket list was too long for his short life.

#la squadra #risotto nero #formaggio #prosciutto #pesci #ghiaccio #melone #illuso #sorbet #gelato #squadrah headcanons #squadrah original #took a while because they both feel like they could regret a ton of things #and that they can't afford to regret anything

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nicherayyy · 9 months

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OKAY so I just had an idea. la squadra x child reader. BUT, reader got attacked by a stand that makes them age to a teenager and now la squadra has to deal with them and their rebellious behavior 💀

la squadra dealing with puberty is literally the funniest thing ever

La Squadra x Teenager Reader

How did this even happen?

One moment you're a sweet little child

And because of a weird stand you're now.. this

An angry teenager.

Oh bless their hearts 'cause dealing with teens is hard

Risotto's still in shock

The poor guy believed that you'll always be an adorable, innocent child

Well jokes on him

But he understands at some point

He wasn't the best in his teenage years either

But oh my god why are you so angry all the time

He didn't even do anything

"You look angry, can I do anything to help you?"

"You can leave me alone"

"Excuse me??"

He can't wait for you to come back to normal

Prosciutto is the angry one here

Don't you dare to raise your voice at him or talk back

No. Just no.

He misses the old you

And he wants to beat the shit out of that stand user.

Give him his innocent child back

And to everyone's surprise, you try to be more calmer around Pros

It's just not worth it to talk back when he's around

I feel so sorry for Pesci

He just can't see you being so angry

Why are you angry? Did he do something to upset you? Or was that the others?

Yesterday you told him about your favourite ice cream flavour and today you won't even talk to him

It's too much for him to handle

It just pains him so much to see you all angsty

Formaggio misses the old you so much!!

Where's his little buddy??

And who's that angry teen??

Tries to joke around you to lighten your mood

Well.. dad jokes is not the best way to cheer you up

"What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?"

"..."

"They're both in Paris si- Hey where are you going?"

It is the most hilarious thing for Illuso

But your attitude pisses him off sometimes

"What's with your angry face?"

"I don't know. What's with your miserable life?"

*gasp* "you little-"

Yeah, you really damaged his ego

Don't worry, he'll live

Illuso really misses the old you

You always said that he's cool and now when you're a teenager..

Melone is the most chill in all this chaos

No, of course he wants your old self back, but he's not so dramatic about it

He knew that sooner or later puberty will hit you

And it won't be pretty.

Tries to be on your good side all the time

It's pretty easy for him tho

Just don't start the conversation first and agree with everything you say

The great tactic btw

Ghiaccio..

I don't even know who I feel sorry for

Him, you, or the whole La Squadra who listens to your bickering all the time

There are no such days where you two are not arguing about the smallest thing

And it always starts so randomly-

It's so hard to keep up with all your shouting

So the whole team made it their mission to keep you two away from each other

Just until they can get you back to normal

Which they all hope, will happen soon

236 notes · View notes

rae-pss · 8 months

Note

Hi, may I please ask for headcanons for la squadra reacting to their s/0 having real haunted dolls, but the dolls just act like home security please

←

— RAE'S NOTE: omg, poor guys (😭). also, i'm projecting some headcanons here, like risotto when young visiting his nonna (grandma).

༉‧₊˚. ─ in general, i'd say that everyone at first believed it had something to do with a stand; at best yours and at worst that of an enemy who has you in its sights.

༉‧₊˚. ─ however, once you explain to them that your collection is genuinely one of haunted dolls, well, there'll be various reactions depending on the member.

༉‧₊˚. ─ again, in a broader context, they find it a considerably positive thing that you've some extra security in your home apart of them in their occassional visit. not to mention the certain fear that it gives to see them looking you directly in the eyes, as if cursing you for life…

༉‧₊˚. ─ now, more specifically:

༉‧₊˚. ─ RISOTTO thinks the dolls are cute, it reminds them of a somewhat similar collection that his nonna (grandma) had, which he liked to look at every time he went to see her at her house.

༉‧₊˚. ─ PROSCIUTTO doesn't care much. in truth, to him they are simply another method of protection that you use. yes, he's grateful that you've them, but they're not something he'll pay much attention to if you don't mention them or they do something that catches his attention.

༉‧₊˚. ─ PESCI was somewhat afraid at first. their appearances are kind of cute, but the fact that they're haunted doesn't help the cause much. luckily, as time goes by she gets used to them and loses her fear of them.

༉‧₊˚. ─ GHIACCIO finds them somewhat terrifying, in the sense that he doesn't understand why when you find some haunted dolls on your way, decide to buy them and, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, you decide to create a collection of them. weren't there simpler things to have a collection? like, for example, normal dolls? generally speaking, he prefers to act as if they don't exist, unless it's necessary to do otherwise.

༉‧₊˚. ─ MELONE is genuinely interested in them. that's, how is it possible for dolls to be haunted? from a scientific point of view it's true that this is a really intriguing topic. and even that, he tends to ignore them most of the time in favor of paying attention to you.

༉‧₊˚. ─ ILLUSO loves them, more than necessary for sure. i's not the kind of dolls he'd have in a collection, but they genuinely look cute and keep you good company in his absence.

༉‧₊˚. ─ it took FORMAGGIO some time to get used to seeing them walk so calmly around your house as if nothing had happened; reaching the point where on one occasion he entered your house without knocking and was almost attacked by two of them. luckily you were there to stop them.

98 notes · View notes

berylcups · 16 days

Note

What type of music do you think la squadra members are into?

Also what type are you into!

What’s La Squadras Favorite Music?

Oh good question! This one definitely made me think! Thinking about their lives outside of their work makes you wonder…

CW: weed? And Melone just being Melone

Risotto

Music genre: Definitely metal this poor guy is a walking stereotype I stg 😭

Bands: Opeth, Dream Theater, and a classic-Rob Zombie

Where/what do they do while listening to music?-

He’s usually listening to his favorite songs in his office doing paperwork. Rarely if he’s in a good mood you can hear him lowly hum to the melody 🥺

Formaggio

Music genre: stoner rock - I’m not familiar with this genre but Formaggio would be! I HC him hard as someone who’s super chill and wants to relax with some psychedelic music.

Bands: Grateful Dead, Black Sabbath, Fu Manchu