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#poor tony

Peter: *singing* Your heart is a muscle the size of a rat. 
Morgan: *singing* SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
Peter: Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s. 
Morgan: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! 
Peter: Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air. 
Morgan: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! 
Peter: The soles of your feet can never grow hair. 
Morgan: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! 
Tony: *banging his head against a wall*

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Peter: Sex before marriage is basically like try before you buy.
Tony: Pepper, help.
Pepper: Oh no, he’s your son, you deal with it.
Tony: From now on, you’re homeschooled!

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Loki: Be the chaos you want to see in the world.
Thor: Loki no.


Peter: Chaos is the natural order of things.
Tony: Oh God there’s two of them.

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Peter: *pours his cereal*
Peter: *pauses, then looks at the milk jug*
Peter: *aims web shooters at milk*
Milk Jug: *snaps back in his face*
Tony: OHMYGOD ARE YOU OKAY?!?!
Happy: Kid just ask us to pass the milk PLEASE
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TW: Mentions of blood

“Tony, we need you for this mission. C’mon.”

Tony stared at him with a dumbfounded expression. “I’m not leaving my kid, Rogers.”

They both looked to Peter, who lay silent, a thick layer of bandages wrapping around his torso. 

Steve sighed. “Tony, I know you don’t want to leave him, but he’s fine. He’s recovering.”

The inventor massaged his forehead, glancing around the dark room. “I can’t let him wake up alone.”

“He won’t be alone. The mission will be fast. Peter probably won’t even notice you’re gone.”

They both jumped as Sam burst into the room. “Are you guys coming? We need to go now.”

Tony hesitated. “FRI, if Peter wakes up, tell him I’m on a mission and I’ll be back soon. And tell him not to move around too much, and to call me if he needs help. Call me if he wakes up, too. Got it?”

“Overprotective, are we, boss?” the AI replied. 

He smiled. “Always am.” The genius bent and kissed Peter’s cheek gently. “Stay safe for me buddy, okay? I’ll be back before you know it.”

Tony looked sadly at his kid’s closed eyes, then followed Steve out of the room. “I’ll be right back.”

~~~~~

The first thing Peter noticed was the empty space beside him. No familiar heartbeat, no breathing, no talking.

Where was Mr. Stark?

Tony was always there.

He groaned and blinked. “Mr. Stark?”

FRIDAY’s kind voice filled the room. “Tony is on a mission right now. He will be back soon. He requested I tell you not to move around, and to call him if you are in need of help.”

Peter nodded. “Is he okay?”

The AI hesitated. “My attempts to contact Mr. Stark have been unsuccessful.”

He froze. “What?”

“I’m sure boss would not want you to worry, Peter.”

“He-he hasn’t responded? What about the rest of the team?”

“No one has answered.”

Oh god, what if Mr. Stark was hurt, or captured, or-

No, he wouldn’t say it. 

“I have to help him!” Peter shifted to the side of the bed and carefully stood up. 

Bad idea.

His torso flashed with a hot pain and he doubled over. “O-ow.” 

“Peter? Please sit down to avoid hurting yourself further,” FRIDAY said, urgency crossing her voice.

“N-no, FRI, I’m fine.” He breathed deeply. “See? I’m good.”

“Peter, moving any more would cause your stitches to come loose. Please sit down,” she insisted. 

Peter winced and leaned heavily against the wall. “No, I- I gotta make sure they’re okay.” He stumbled to the hallway. 

He needed to help Mr. Stark

The boy staggered down the hallway, the pain increasing. He could hear his stitches tearing, which was definitely not good.

He didn’t remember being in so much pain before. 

Ugh, it was so hot

Wait, what was he doing? Where was Mr. Stark?

Oh right… Mr. Stark needed help

He needed to help him!

“Help who?” he mumbled aloud, sliding down the wall. “Help? Who’m I helpin’?”

He winced as a voice pierced his ears. “Peter, I have contacted Mr. Stark and emergency medical services, but my communication seems to be failing. Stay awake until help arrives, Peter.”

He blinked slowly. 

There was a voice in the ceiling. So weird…

Was it Clint?

Wait… who was Clint?

The sky voice was still talking, but he didn’t really understand it. 

Medical services. Mr. Stark. Stay awake.

What?

~~~~~

Tony had to keep himself from calling Peter every ten seconds, reminding himself that FRIDAY was there and would alert him if anything happened.

He had a deep feeling that something was wrong. 

The genius hummed anxiously. The mission was relatively simple. Just a quick trip to a suspected HYDRA facility, then out again. No fighting. 

“Cap? I’m gonna head out.”

“Tony- wait, you’re leaving?” Steve exclaimed. 

“Yeah,” he replied, then blasted into the sky. 

“FRIDAY, call Peter.”

“Of course, boss.” There was a pause, and then- “My attempts to contact Peter have failed. Would you like me to try again?”

Tony could feel his heart beating out of his chest. “That’s not possible.”

“My sy-sytems have been compromised, boss. I-I can’t-”

“FRI?”

Nothing.

The screen flickered. “Fuck,” he snapped, increasing speed as the back up power lit his face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

God, he needed to get to Peter yesterday.

~~~~~

He landed on the compound roof, cracking the cement. Tony sprinted to the medbay, stopping only when he spotted Peter’s tiny body on the ground. 

“Peter!” he screamed, falling to his knees and cupping his face in his hands. “Whoa- no, no no no, what happened?!”

Oh god, there was blood. Peter’s blood, Peter’s blood on his hands.

He pressed his fingers to his neck, where Peter’s pulse beat rapidly. “Oh, baby, oh my god. Wake up, kiddo. Wake up!” 

Tony gently scooped Peter into his arms and rushed to the medbay. The lights flickered on, and he set his kid carefully on his bed, kissing his forehead. “I’ll be right back, baby. Hold on for me.” 

He dashed to the cabinet, frantically searching for a needle and thread.

Tony hated himself for doing this. Hatred that burned and solidified permanently. 

But he took the needle, his hands shaking, and stitched Peter’s wound back up. 

It was something he would never, ever forgive himself for, leaving his kid alone, who got hurt because of him. 

God, this was all his fault. 

~~~~~

“Stark! What’s wrong?” Steve cried, his heart leaping as he spotted Tony, slumped over in a chair by Peter’s hospital bed, head in his hands. 

Tony startled, jumping up to stand in front of his kid. “Oh. Steve, it’s you.”

They both pretended not to notice as he wiped tears from his face.

Tony Stark doesn’t cry.

“What happened? Is Peter okay?” 

Tony sighed, scrubbing at his eyes. “He pulled a few stitches. He-he was up looking for me. God.”

Steve frowned. “Didn’t you tell FRIDAY to alert you if that happened? Is that why you left?”

The inventor bit his lip. “FRI- she was hacked.” 

All his fault.

“What?! How? Did you fix it?” Steve said. 

“Yes, I fixed it.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know how, and I need to figure that out.”

Steve noticed the way he looked at Peter in worry and protectiveness. 

“Look, Tony, we can get someone else from the team to track whoever did it. You can just focus on Peter, okay?”

Tony’s eyes gleamed with relief. “Thanks, Rogers.” He sat back down, grasping Peter’s hand and smoothing his hair back. 

Cap nodded. It never failed to surprise him how much Tony loved this kid. How overprotective and worried he was all the time. 

He spotted a few gray hairs in Tony’s normally black ones.

Ah, the perks of being a dad.

~~~~~

Tag List: @imissyoutoo @aj-that-person @tonystark-deserves-better @nathaly-ab @skeeter-110 @peter-and-tony-vlogs @teammightypen @joyful-soul-collector @loveliestdisappointment @depuella @scwene-qween @pixiethefirecat7 @spider-man-lover @bringitonvoldie @memilon @queen-of-sarcasm-25 @roxy3457 @iron-loyalty @gralaca

If anyone wants to be added/ removed let me know!

~~~~~

/DO NOT TAG OR REBLOG AS ST*RKER/

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blondsakAnswer
Warpath

When Tony Stark, a former Marine and POW in Afghanistan, reaches out to his old friend Rhodey about a job at the man’s security firm, he never expects to get assigned to be the bodyguard of 15 year-old Peter Parker– the ward of billionaire weapons manufacturer Obadiah Stane. 

Nor does Tony expect to grow so fond of the kid, which makes things all the worse when Peter is viciously kidnapped from right under Tony’s nose. 

Despite being injured and terrified for the kid, Tony won’t stop at anything to get Peter back from whoever took him. But as the various leads amount to smokescreens, Tony begins to wonder– is Peter’s kidnapper closer than Tony realizes?

The answer to that questions ultimately doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Tony is bringing Peter home– whatever it takes.

Or: the irondad Man on Fire AU.

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Peter: *text message to Tony* god I hate being alive I just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances 

Tony: *texts back in under 5 seconds* OMG PETER! ARE YOU OKAY?! WHERE ARE YOU? I’M COMING TO GET YOU RIGHT NOW, OKAY? STAY STRONG! I’LL BE THERE SOON! YOU’RE GOING TO BE OKAY!

Peter: *texts back after 15 minutes, 27 texts and 12 missed calls from Tony* ok I’m done being dramatic I finally started my homework and it’s not that bad

Tony: *immediately replies* PETER! OMG, DON’T DO THAT! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK! I HAVE A HEART CONDITION!

449 notes · See All

My twelfth fill for @whumptober2019, also available on Ao3.

—– —– —–

When awareness returned, Bucky’s face was the first thing he saw.

“Hey doll.” He was smiling, but Tony knew him well enough to know that something was wrong. “Good to have you back with us.”

How had he gotten here?

Vaguely, Tony remembered an alien ship. It’d had weapons, hadn’t it?

“Did we win?” he asked, trying to see past Bucky.

“Don’t move, doll. Don’t worry - we won.” And while he was telling the truth, Tony knew there was more to it. He could see the strain on Bucky’s face, and the way he was paler than usual.

“What happened?”

“You know there was an alien attack, right?” Tony managed a tiny nod, but it was enough. “They had some kind of advanced weaponry we couldn’t get past at first, but you took it out. Unfortunately, they decided that made you the primary threat, so they… shot at you. Fortunately, with the weaponry disabled, we managed to finish things up.”

As he was awake longer, Tony was starting to become more and more aware. And while he knew there was more that Bucky wasn’t telling him, he was starting to think that might be for the better.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know why he couldn’t feel most of his body, or why he had the faintest inkling that that might be for the better.

Just as he was trying to scour his mind for a lighthearted subject, Clint’s face appeared beside Bucky’s. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” His grin appeared only slightly more believable than Bucky’s. Tony appreciated the attempt. “Lemme tell you, no amount of sleep will make that face any prettier.”

“Can’t improve perfection,” he volleyed back, noticing the way his quick reply lightened both of their expressions ever-so-slightly.

It was hard to miss that something was wrong though. Despite not feeling pain, he didn’t feel quite right. It was a disconcerting, uncomfortable cold that went bone-deep and that made him want to try and move, to get away from it somehow. But he trusted Bucky, trusted that not moving was probably the best idea at the moment.

“Everyone else okay?” he asked instead. Aside from tired, worried, and a little bruised, both Bucky and Clint seemed fine, but he hadn’t seen the others.

“Just fine,” Bucky assured him immediately. He didn’t appear to be lying.

Beside him, Clint nodded. “Nat is working with Pepper on easing everyone’s minds, and Steve got Sam and JARVIS to help deal with clean-up efforts. Thor is doing double duty wrangling Hulk and supplying whatever he knows about those aliens. They have collectively whined about how much work this all is and how they never realized how much you usually do, so feel free to gloat about that later.”

Tony managed a grin. “Does that mean you’re stuck doing SHIELD debrief?”

A small huff of laughter escaped him at seeing the hilariously horrified look on Clint’s face. “Awww, debrief, no,” he whined. Then, he smiled hopefully. “Maybe I can still switch with Thor!”

“Good luck on that,” Bucky went along with the joke, though it was clear his heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll admit, having Thor debrief Fury could be funny, though I’m not sure I want to know what kind of backstory you’d come up with for the aliens.”

“I’d make up something appropriately epic, of course,” he tried to claim. Tony felt his own eyebrow raise critically at the same time he saw Bucky’s skeptical look. “I would!”

“A race trying to take over the world because they want to steal our coffee isn’t epic.” It wasn’t his best quip, but Tony thought he could be forgiven, considering it seemed rather more difficult to think clearly than it should be.

Fortunately, Clint seemed to agree, chuckling. “Chocolate, then?” he tried.

“I mean, if I were an alien race…” Bucky trailed off with a faint grin.

“Just because you are a chocolate addict, doesn’t mean everyone is,” Tony joked affectionately. Whenever Bucky was having a bad day, all he had to do was bring the soldier some chocolate to make him smile again.

The reminder of it made him smile, though it felt oddly exhausting. Everything did, if he was being honest. Which, to be fair, didn’t really surprise him.

Not when he’d just recalled the size of the approaching spears that had been the last thing he’d seen.

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