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highvern · 6 months

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Aphrodite

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem!reader

Genre: smut, friends to lovers, established relationship, fluff at the beginning

Warnings: bathroom sex, kissing, groping, fingering, dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics but they’re both actually switches (Mingyu is a service top), cumshot, Mingyu is still obsessed with titties, hair pulling, choking (hand around throat but no breath play), doggy style, unprotected sex (not endorsed by author), praise kink and strength kink go burrrrrr, there's a little bit of fluff/angst at the beginning (care/comfort) because she had a hard day at work, porn with feelings

Length: ~3k

Note: Drunk Goggles couple's bathroom scene mentioned in Discovery! the first third is so cute i actually had to close my laptop and step away while editing it so please enjoy my brain rot lol. its implied reader is on birth control and Mingyu knows it but still wrap it before you tap it guys. This was drafted as "Champagne Confetti" but i couldn't post it with that title with a straight face

ALSO stream Mamamoo Wheein's new album In the Mood! Aphrodite was a huge inspiration for the sweeter parts of this fic

read more here

The knob of your bathroom cabinet is digging into Mingyu’s shoulder uncomfortably and his ass freezing on the hard tile, but neither register in his mind much. His sole focus is on listening to you vent about how shitty work was as you wash up behind the flimsy curtain only a few feet away.

“Oh and then she had the audacity to say I should have been more prepared for the meeting! As if she didn’t send me the info an hour before!” You babble, head popping out to look at him.

Mingyu tries and fails to stifle the laughter bubbling at the sight of your shampoo Mohawk.

“What a bitch!”

“Right?!” You move back into the spray and out of sight.

“She’s just mad because you’re better at her job than she is.”

“I wouldn’t be if she actually did her job.” You sigh.

“I’m sorry baby.”

“‘s not your fault Gyu.”

“Do you want me to beat her up?”

“Yeah, because sending my gigantic ass boy toy after her is gonna get her off my back.” You call, closing your eyes as foam rinses from your hair down your skin.

“The correct term is boyfriend.”

“The correct term is baby daddy.”

“You’re fucking nasty.”

“You love me.”

God, I do.

But it’s too early to say those words with the level of earnestness he feels so Mingyu bites his tongue.

Steam and lavender soap tickle his senses as you wash away the evidence of your previous distress. Your manager is number one on Mingyu’s incredibly short shit list.

Mingyu had barely waltzed through the door of your apartment after work, excited to spend the evening cuddled on the couch with a movie like you do every Thursday. He nearly shit himself when he found you sitting at the kitchen counter, tears staining your face and eyes rimmed red. You dove into his chest and cried for an over hour, unable to speak as wretched sobs escaped your throat. He’s never felt so helpless as he sat there, stroking your back as he held you, whispering gentle affirmations into your hair. It was his idea for you to hop in the shower once you calmed down enough to assure him you weren’t injured and “no, no one died.”

The entire time, Mingyu sat close by listening intently, chiming in occasionally with agreements. He hadn’t follow you into the stall, void of the desire to worsen your mood. Shared showers were not a favorite in this household. Either it ended after two minutes to move to the bed or one of you hopped out, annoyed that the other was hogging the hot water and leaving them in the cold. Mingyu wanted you to relax but the only way he could relax was to make sure you’re actually okay. Which is why he is planted on the ground near the door like a guard dog, keeping an eye on you in case the tears returned; numb butt and sore shoulder be damned.

The squeak of the faucet signals the end of your bathing, echoed by the ruffle of the curtain as you push it aside to exit the tub. He keeps his eyes trained on your face, a smile spreading at the glow radiating from the apples of your cheeks void of the earlier splotchy dullness. You already look a million times better than when he entered your home.

Mingyu is trying very hard to be a supportive boyfriend while you continue to rant; but it’s challenging when the actual woman of his dreams is standing only feet away, completely nude and soaking wet, skin flushed from scrubbing and glistening in the warm glow of the light above the mirror. It takes all his might to ignore the swell of your breast and gentle the sway of your hips, or the curve of your thighs as you stretch for your towel on the rack above the toilet. The movement sends droplets falling in staccato from your hair plastered against your head onto your shoulder before trailing down your front, tracing dizzying patterns across your skin. His very own Aphrodite, exiting the sea to fill his heart.

“I hope she gets fired soon. I know I didn’t look like an idiot in that meeting, it was all her.”

“No one thinks you’re an idiot.” He looks down at his hands playing with the cuff of his sweatshirt to distract himself from how you start twisting to towel off, body bending and stretching suggestively as you concentrate.

“She definitely does but who cares.”

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, actually.” You smile, towel wrapped around you snugly as you step away from the tub and towards him. “But I could still really use a hug.”

“I can do that.”

Mingyu jumps up from his place on the floor, beaming at the soft look on your face as he tangles you in his arms. He plants peck after peck across the crown of your wet hair, nose filling with the scent of your shampoo as he squeezes you against him tightly. The remaining moisture on your body is wicked away by the soft fabric of his sweater, covering him in wet spots along his front and down his arms.

“You’re the best.” You sign into his chest as he leaves a kiss on your hairline.

To distract himself from what he really wants to say, Mingyu blows a wet raspberry against your forehead.

“Nope! Never mind!” You squeal, trying in vain to break out of his strong grip. “Get away from me!”

“But baby you just said I was the best!” He counters, arms tighten to prevent you from wiggling lose.

“No, you’re gross and I hate you!”

“GASP.”

You can only roll your eyes at your boyfriend's dramatics.

“You hate me? I wipe your tears, clean up your snot, order us take out, and you hate me?” Voice rising in pitch, he gapes at you.

“You ordered take out?”

“Focus on me! I’m hurt. Devastated!”

“Oh no, what will I do?” You deadpan, but the twitch of your mouth betrays your amusement.

It’s a dangerous game given you’re still locked in his arms and his penchant for being over the top.

“I’m deeply deeply wounded missy. So there’s only one way I’ll forgive you.”

“And what’s that?”

“Kiss?” He says with puppy dog eyes and puckered lips that makes him look like a fish.

“Oh my god!” You cackle at his ridiculousness.

“Oh, there she goes again! Do you not care about me at all?”

His question is punctuated by him collapsing against you and fake crying. Laughter bubbles in your chest like champagne. Mingyu makes you feel better without even trying.

“Alright, come here you big baby. Let me give you a kiss.”

Matching smiles meet in a sweet kiss. In your relationship, one kiss frequently becomes ten or twenty so there's no shock when you keep planting pecks against his lips before moving to tickle them across his cheek, brow, and tip of his nose. Mingyu is all smiles and giggles under your lips as you move back to his mouth.

The short kisses become heated swiftly. You wipe the smile off his face easily enough, thanking the universe it takes almost nothing to get Mingyu started (not that you’re any better). You’re impressed he didn’t jump you when you stepped out of the shower in all your naked glory. Honestly, you’re a little disappointed he didn’t. But now with your towel unraveling from your tussle, pressed against his solid frame as you nip his lips, you know it’s a matter of seconds before Mingyu crowds against you and makes you feel a lot better.

Like clockwork, a simple hum in the back of your throat paired with your nails trailing down his chest sets Mingyu off. He turns with you still in his hold, lifting you up and depositing you on the cool marble of the countertop, pushing your legs apart to make room for himself. Clumsy hands push your towel away, giving him access to play with your chest. When the nail of his thumb scratches your nipple, you arch against him with a sigh. The shift breaks your lips apart and Mingyu wasted no time diving for your throat.

Apparently tonight is one of the few nights Mingyu wants to be a little more demanding with you. The hand not plucking your chest moves the tangle itself amongst the wet hair at the crown of your skull, giving a firm tug that has your spine arching, stretching your neck with a whine to give more space to bite along your throat. Teeth scratch against the cords of muscle, but his tongue soothes the abused skin immediately after; even when he’s rough, he treats you like a princess. You feel yourself clenching around nothing at the maddening combination of sensations.

“Please, Gyu”

“Please, what?” He asks, not budging an inch from where he latches to your collarbone.

“Touch me.” You whimper.

His mouth replaces the hand pinching your chest, sucking your abused nipple into his blistering mouth. The hand that was on your chest, skates down between your thighs, pushing your legs further apart, letting your foot find purchase on the handle of the cabinet next to you to spread you wide.

He starts slowly, middle finger parting your downy lips to trace from your entrance to your mound. The calloused pad of his finger nothing more than a gossamer touch against your heat, maddening as it teases you. Curling your hips upwards, you give him more space to circle your entrance before he dips his middle and ring finger inside, thumb stretching to caress your swollen clit.

“So wet already.”

“If you had a boyfriend that treats you how you treat me, then you’d understand why.” You pant into his hair.

“Think I understand plenty.” He replies, moving your hand to caress his dick where it sits tented in his shorts.

The bathroom is filled with shameless whines and puffs of breath as you work each other up. You’ve successfully gotten a hand into his underwear, fisting the head of his cock in a tight rhythm just how he likes. The other busies itself scratching down his back as he preps you for what's to come by twisting two fingers inside you, heel of his hand grinding against your clit with every thrust.

“Need you inside.” You whisper into his mouth.

“Yeah? Want me to fuck you?”

“Mhmm,” your tone is verging on pathetic but his reaction washes away any embarrassment.

“Then be a good girl and turn around.”

Mingyu steps back, giving you space to quickly jump off the counter to turn your back to him. He busies himself with removing his sweater while you settle on your elbows, ass pushed out in front of him teasingly. It gives him pause, easily distracted by the arch of your spine and the subtle jiggle of flesh as you rock from one foot to another. You watch in the mirror as he blinks lazily, using one hand to push down his pants while the other cups a cheek, squeezing it in his palm. When his shorts are finally pooled around his ankles, he steps closer to let his length rest on your ass.

You can feel his leaking tip brush your tailbone, leaving a faint trace of dampness across your skin as you roll on to the balls of your feet to grind back on him. The rigid velvet of his shaft has arousal dripping down your thighs crudely.

You watch his face with rapt attention in the mirror. He’s hypnotized by how his cock looks pressed snug against your rear, resting hot and heavy in the valley of your cheeks. His throat bobs with a harsh swallow; hands wrapping around your sides, lazily tracing the curve between the bottom of your ribs to your hip bones. Mingyu’s hips move of their own volition, rutting across your ass as his cock continues to drool on your skin.

“Fuck,” he whispers.

“Come on baby, I had a hard day. Need you to make me feel better.”

Mingyu's eyes find yours in the mirror. You know the pout on your lips will get you everything you want. Mingyu knows it too.

“Condom,” he prompts.

There’s a stash in the drawer to your left but Mingyu is fully aware he lacks the will power to reach over and grab one when his hands are filled with something so much more enticing right now.

As you shake your head with a mischievous quirk of lips, he’s pretty sure you’re playing a cruel joke on hum.

“Shit,” He curses. “Are you serious?”

“Fuck me, Gyu.”

Palming his cock, Mingyu recites a silent prayer that he doesn’t blow his load immediately. This is the first time he gets to fuck you raw and goddamit if it’s short lived. Tracing his tip through the mess between your legs, he collects your arousal to lube him up. He can feel how soaking you are at the idea of him fucking you without the barrier of latex, inner thighs smeared with your essence. Hopefully you’ll come as quickly as he probably will.

“You’re so dirty, letting me stuff you with my cock like this. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” you gasp when he nudges your clit. “Your dirty girl.”

“That’s right, my dirty girl.” He growls as he pushes inside you.

The first inch has you both closing your eyes, vision filled with stars. As nice as he feels bare inside you, it’s the mental is getting you off more than the physical. Every time Mingyu stretches you out on his cock is a treat, but the knowledge that the flared head of his cock pressing deep inside is leaving traces of his seed along your walls has you breathless. You’ve never let anyone else fuck you like this and a part shielded in your chest hopes he’s that last to.

Mingyu is more or less losing his shit behind you. The scorching wet clamp of your silky inner muscles that he’s only felt on his tongue or fingers is better than he could ever imagine. Your pussy gushing to coat his cock as he splits you open has him on the verge of tears. When he’s settled in, your ass pressed firmly to his pelvis, you wiggle against him.

Mingyu responds by pressing forward, pinning your hips to the counter harshly to prevent you from moving again. You’re clenching around him so hard, it takes all of his self control not to cum.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” You mewl.

You’re really not helping.

“Calm down.” He grits out, both to himself and you.

“Need it.”

“Oh you need it?” He chides, delivering a bruising thrust.

You reward him with a sharp whine.

“Calm down baby, I'll give it to you. Always do, don't I?”

One hand circles the base of your throat, not squeezing; just resting the curve against his palm as his thumb trails along the side of your neck. It stops your breath anyway. But then Mingyu leans down to press his chest with your back, face coming into view right over your shoulder to whisper in your ear while looking you in the eye through the mirror.

“But you gotta be a good girl and spread it for me.”

You heave at his words, afraid you might pass out. Hands scramble to grab your own ass cheeks, pulling the flesh apart so he has a clear view of your pussy sucking him in as he starts curling his hips inside you.

The way he’s fucking you is vulgar. Hand wrapped around your throat as the other moves back into your hair, your own brushing the tops of his thighs as he cants against your ass, balls slapping against your pussy with each thrust. Mingyu leans back to watch himself disappear into your cunt, pulling you up into an arch. The feel without a condom is melting his brain but the visual absence of latex is doing incredible damage to his psyche too.

You both are a mess of sweet whines and rough groans, bathroom echoing with the clapping of skin and wet squelch of your full pussy. Breaking his focus on the way your entrance stretches to accommodate his thick cock splitting you open, Mingyu looks in the mirror to watch the way your tits bounce in time with his hips; your mouth open in a silent scream, eyes misty with delirium as you watch him watching you.

“Feel so fucking good like this, shit.” He pants. “Hear how wet you are? Fucking love it don’t you?”

Your head falls forward pathetically, only stopped by the palm still resting around your throat. When Mingyu gives a tentative squeeze, you whimper a quiet agreement. He watches as you force a hand between your thighs, fingers rubbing your clit in tight circles to push you closer to the edge.

“Gonna come,” you whine.

“Yeah?” Mingyu asks, excitement clear as day. He tilts his hips to fuck deeper, stretching you just a little bit wider on his cock to send you home.

“Fuck!” You sob, tensing as your orgasm washes over you.

Every muscle in your body ignites, squeezing impossibly tighter as electricity snaps through your nerves, licking your veins and exploding your field of vision in a blinding white. Like a taunt bow string being released, you curl in on your chest as you clench around your boyfriend’s cock, gushing down shaky thighs. Your free hand grips the edge of the sink, holding on for dear life as you twitch in his hold.

“Where do you want it?” Mingyu cries, two seconds behind you and using his last functioning brain cell to not piss you off by assuming he can finish inside despite wanting nothing more. “Gotta tell me where you want, Y/N.”

“On me, wanna feel you on me!” You cry, still playing with your clit as you pry open teary eyes to watch Mingyu from the mirror.

A bright red blush spreads across his chest and up his neck, glistening with beads of sweat and condensation from the steam clogging the air. His bottom lip swollen from where it's locked between clenched teeth, neck straining and biceps bulging from his harsh grip on your body. He has enough sense of reality to slip the hand around your throat into your hair, gathering the strands in a makeshift ponytail to keep it out of the way of the mess he’s about to make.

He pulls out with seconds to spare against a tsunami of pleasure that begins to surge through his body, beginning in his balls and crashing outward to swamp his nerves. It ripples across his skull, raising goosebumps in its wake as it ebbs through his blood stream. Mingyu’s abdomen flexes as he fists his cock still slick with your combined arousal over your ass; thick streaks of his seed rushing forward. You feel a hefty rope land between your shoulder blades, the sticky heat intoxicating as it trickles down your back. A few drops sputter on the dip of your spine and your hand still spreading you wide, decorating you in his own diamonds.

Mingyu can’t help the way he stares at your hole, obsessed with how you clench around nothing like you’re missing something. He wishes he was watching you squeeze around his dick, his cum dripping out of you with each pulse of muscle. Maybe someday he’ll get to.

As your orgasms subside, weariness circles on the edge of your senses. Two sets of eyes flutter shut, chests heaving and hearts beating in time. Unwinding his hand from your hair, Mingyu lets it gently rest next to your hip on the counter, preventing him from collapsing against you and into the sticky residue he’s left. He can’t feel his legs, head empty of coherent thought. Unconsciously, his thumb traces the dimple at the base of your spine, the gentle caress grounding him to his body.

The quiet of the bathroom is only disturbed by the hum of the overhead fan. You both are spent, muscles weak and nerves fried. Occasionally a deep breath interrupts but it's peaceful as you bask in each other's presence.

“Oh my god,” you pant, breaking his trance.

“Hmm?”

“How did you get cum on the mirror?”

#svthub #svt x reader #kim mingyu x reader #mingyu smut #kim mingyu #svt smut #seventeen smut #kim mingyu smut #dghe couple #🫡 highvern #not seeing heaven for this one I fear

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jungle-angel · 7 months

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Two Birds In A Nest (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: You and Bob are just beginning to build your lives in Montana and hope that your family will grow with it

Warnings: Talks about starting a family, wanting a family, smut etc.

Your moans were tied together with Bob's even as you felt him gutter into you, an explosion of warmth blooming between your legs as your heavy breathing began to even out with each other's. You reached up, placing a hot hand against Bob's chest, feeling his fast heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Oh baby," he sighed happily, nuzzling your cheeks and your jaw. "My sweet (y/n), I can't get enough of you."

You giggled a little as you felt his baby smooth skin against yours, the both of you still sensitive to each other's kissing and caressing. Bob helped you up from your bed and into the bathroom, running a hot bath for the both of you to get you cleaned up. God it was heaven being in your brand new bathroom and not having to worry about who would be up at some ungodly hour of the morning to hog the shower. The steam carried with it the smell of Bob's Irish Spring body wash that he used on the both of you, gently washing every part of you that he could touch. Back into your shared bedroom you both went, crawling under the warm covers as the blizzard outside began to rage. Your house however, was so cozy and warm, the dogs sleeping soundly in their crates while the cats had taken to the laundry room in the finished basement.

You and Bob lay facing each other, chest to chest, tits pressing against each other and still warm from the bath. He looked like a dream with his soft cheeks, his limpid blue eyes that reminded you of the forget-me-nots that popped in your garden every spring. The lazy but loving smile on his face was almost the same as his dad's, the spitting image in all those family photos of Bob as a baby being held by Joe, his father.

Yet there was something that stirred and ached in your chest. You couldn't put your finger on what it was or why it was there, but it was.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Bob asked, seeing the worrisome look playing with your face.

"Do you ever feel like something's missing?" you asked in reply.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," you answered a little sadly. "I just.....I pass by one of the empty rooms and all I can see in there is you standing over a crib.....a little baby in your arms.....maybe you're sitting in the rocker singing and rocking him or her to sleep."

Bob could feel his eyes burning and a few loose tears beginning to form. Growing up the youngest in a big family, he spent endless days playing with all his nieces and nephews, sometimes watching them while his brothers and sisters either didn't have the time to do so or had to go on a SEAL team mission like his oldest sister, Reagan's husband. Picking them up from school, playing with them and taking care of them had made him feel as though there had been a hole somewhere that he could just hardly fill. Ever since the two of you had gotten married, he wanted so badly to have just that....a family of your own and a house that truly felt like home.

"Oh baby," he cooed, kissing your cheeks. "It'll happen, don't you worry."

You had hoped so. God you had hoped so. It was all you could think about, even when you were at the school trying to teach your fifth graders about ancient India and having to fill one side of the chalkboard with a drawing from The Ramayana. Now that you and Bob could finally have the time to try, you were excited, happy, nervous and scared all at once.

"Do you....do you wanna try?" you asked him a little meekly.

You felt him roll his body on top of yours, the heat intensifying a little bit from the heavy duvet you only used in the winter. "Hell yes," Bob murmured, his lips gently grazing against yours.

You felt him kiss you gently, just as he had done earlier that night, the wetness beginning to build again between your legs as his red hot, throbbing cock slipped inside you with ease. You sighed and moaned happily as his hips thrust gently in and out of you, slowly drawing your orgasm out of you. It was almost like the blizzard outside, dizzying and a wild flurry of moans, groaning and skin slapping against skin before everything calmed down and you and Bob were resting skin-to-skin against each other.

"You think this one will take?" you asked sleepily.

"I've got a feeling," Bob yawned.

Sure enough it did. After almost a week of you waking up sick, you and Bob were over the moon to find that it had taken, the tears filling his eyes when he hears the baby's heartbeat for the first time, more so when you learn that it's a little boy, your tiny little August Robert Floyd, who becomes the biggest blessing your family has ever received.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #dagger squad

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gothamslostboy · 7 months

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Can i request bones characters and their pets headcannons?

OMG YES OF COURSE YOU CAN

Brennen

She’s against pets in general but if she had to pick one she’d choose a monkey

But after researching it and realizing she doesn’t have the adequate amount of time to care for one she lets booth get a dog

Has to be one that’s known for its intelligence tho

Booth

A dog man through and through

Specifically a high energy breed he can take for runs

Also likes to play fetch with it

Teaches it tricks

Constantly gets lectures from Brennen every time he says they have the smartest dog

Wants to let it lay in the bed but Brennen says no

He sneaks the dog up after she goes to sleep sometimes

Wendell

I bet you’re thinking dog huh?

Yeah you’re right

He has a American pitbull terrier he adores

Buys her sweaters for the winter

Takes her out to those dog friendly restaurants to play with Booth’s dog while they hang out

Cam

Cat lady 100%

Either a Siamese or a hairless cat

Spoils it with toys and treats, but makes sure it stays at a healthy weight

When no one is around she speaks to it in a baby voice

Arastoo

A cat he found at his local shelter

He doesn’t know what kind of cat it is

Has to take allergy pills because he developed an allergy after he already was attached

Sweets

A hermit crab he keeps in his office

Gets an artist friend to paint new shells based on sci fi movies he likes

Before he picked a name he was calling it buddy, which just kinda stuck

Angela

Likes many animals, but not keeping them

Only got one after Michael-Vincent kept begging

Ended up getting a hedge hog

It curls up in her lap while she paints or draws

Hodgins

Has the hedgehog with Angela obviously

He lets sit on his shoulder when relaxing

Built it a fucking MASSIVE enclosure in their house

This lil thing has so much to play with it’s insane

After a year or two of owning the hedgehog, he convinces Angela to get a tortoise

Who he also spoils

Zack

He bought a beta fish one day bc he thought a pet would make him less lonely but he was scared of all the other species at the pet store

He named it Archimedes

Originally just had it in a glass bowl

Bought it a proper tank after Hodgins explained how bad that is

Hodgins also went with him to pick out things it could hide in

Daisy

Honestly I’m not really sure

Maybe a hamster when she was young

But never got another pet after it died bc she was so sad

Loves Lance’s little hermit crab though

Says hi to it every time she stops by his office

Fisher

An iguana

He brought him into work once and cam made him put it in Hodgins’ bug room

Takes it for walks

It wears a black spiked collar with its leash

Vincent

He has two ferrets and and a set of Guinea pigs

Talks to them for hours telling them all the facts that pop into his head

Carries the ferrets around his body (neck, shoulders, arms, etc)

Talks about them like they are his human children

#bones tv show #bones tv #bones show #glb bones #temperence brennan #seeley booth #wendell bray #camille saroyan #lance sweets #collin fisher #arastoo vaziri #daisy wick #angela montenegro #jack hodgins #zack addy #vincent nigel murray #bones headcanons #headcannons

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jollyreginaldrancher · 1 month

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The yellowjackets as cousins (for the sake of shipping let's pretend the ones that date are second cousins and Yellowjackets is set in Alabama)

• Natalie's parents drop her off before the event starts and go off to do some last minute shit. She runs up to your room and jumps on you while you are still asleep to wake you up. She's that fucking cousin that doesn't let you have a moment of peace from the moment they show up to the moment they leave. Lowkey you love them though.

• Jackie is that cool older cousin who's home from college and is constantly checking her phone. She smells good and gifts everyone those showel gel/loofa/bath salts sets (not so much the bath salts anymore, since that time Natalie tried sniffing them)

Gets teased about having a clingy bf but she's texting Shauna the whole time.

• Shauna is the broody cousin who doesn't even wanna come to this stupid thing, she's not even gonna have fun so why can't her parents let her stay home? She ends up having fun and her parents have to drag her back to the car to get home at the end of the day.

• Taissa is the one that decides to take on babysitting or help out around the kitchen or whatever and usually has to be told to let loose and have fun because she's so type A she tries to organise shit she has no authority over. The smaller cousins do stacks on Taissa. Van usually starts the dogpile.

• Van is the laid-back cousin who sets up the video games and is beloved by all the tiny cousins. She clears everyone at Mario kart and smash bros and is the only one who can get Taissa to unwind. Taissa is the only one who can clear her in smash.

• Misty is that cousin who hangs out with the adults and tries to help around the kitchen all the time until her aunt forcibly drags her to the rec room (at the rich relatives' house) where everyone is playing board games and stuff. She finds a puzzle or a deck of cards and tries to get a game of solitaire going but some younger cousins decide to mess with her and she retaliates and ends up in a prank war.

• Mari is the younger cousin who fucks with everybody. Brings gag gifts and tries that fucking stick of chewing gum prank every. Goddamn. Holiday. You know which one I mean:

On the upside she packs a fucktonne of snacks which she shares if you're chill.

Her gum prank snapped one of Jackie's fake nails off once so Shauna retaliated by popping her inflatable duck. It was a whole thing.

• Lottie is petting all the pets. She's running around the house chasing the cat. She's not gonna pull its tail, she hasn't done that since she was two, but she will feed the dog under the table to try to win him over. She's the reason you have ants.

• Laura Lee's family is the one that insists on saying a prayer before every meal. Everyone else is messing around at the kids table but she's actually paying attention, or if it's in a different room, she's the one leading it. She's that one that hangs around the back of the group and acts like a moral compass. "Yeah Mr Sharpe's may have run over your bike Natalie but I don't think it's right to paint his dog red".

• Javi is the baby of the family and everyone is super protective and he is that kid that is just chill and will sit down and colour for fun and he gives out handmade gifts like macaroni necklaces and you all have matching friendship bracelets courtesy of Javi Martinez 🥹

• Travis is that asshole who takes his shit out on everyone else and ruins the vibe. His little brother tries to hang with him but he thinks he's too cool to give him the time of day and just pushes him away, and ends up sitting alone cause no one likes that he's an asshole. Most of the cousin jokes are about how he just needs to get laid. He usually just hogs some prime real estate on the couch and heckles everyone playing video games. Won't play anymore because the few times he tried after talking shit he got his ass summarily handed to him so now he just sits there and sooks and brags about how he could beat everyone if he wanted to, he's just taking it easy on everyone because he's nice. He's the biggest asshole there.

#yellowjackets #headcanons #hcs #mine #my babies #thoughts #Natalie Scatorccio #Misty Quigley #Shauna Shipmam #Jackie Taylor #Taissa Turner #Van Palmer #Mari Yellowjackets #Laura Lee yellowjackets #Javi Martinez #travis martinez

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dropout-if · 8 months

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79 for my girly pops wanda pls thank yuo ❤️

Wanda + 79, “Stop hogging all the blankets!”

From this ask game!

Originally, it was Gabi’s idea—“How come I never can sleepover with my friends? Ma~ think about the blanket forts!”—and then it’s Wanda conveniently deciding she wants to convince you of the exact same idea (“[Name]~ think about the fairy lights~”).

Her puppy dog eyes are hard to resist.

The night is only the beginning of this new, more conventional adventure, and you find yourself standing behind Wanda as she hovers over Gabi’s small frame, getting her ready for a sleepover with a few of her friends from preschool—Gabi always wins when her opponent is her mother, you wish you could relate.

It always takes an ungodly amount of time for Wanda to make sure the tiny angel is ready to leave. You watch the way Gabi allows herself to be wrapped in her fuzzy pink coat, rambling (tripping over her words) about anything and everything—whether her unicorn plushie is safe and warm too in her backpack, about the new neighbor in their apartment building, how nice the cool breeze would feel, her excitement for the sleepover, does the fact that you’re staying for the night mean it’s a date or a sleepover or both?

“No, it’s neither. Mija,” Wanda pouts as Gabi fails to pay attention. She turns toward you, eyes begging for some kind of help, only to pout harder and coax Gabi to get ready “We’re going to be late~”

You intervene out of mercy, “Gabi, do you want to make Miss Rosario wait?”

“No,” the little girl sulks with an expression that is too similar to her mother’s.

The two say their goodbyes, Wanda walks Gabi to the car—looks almost tearful as she does so—and only grins brightly when she returns to your side.

“I lied!” Wanda claps excitedly, she lets out an attempt at an evil laugh “This is so exciting! We haven’t had a sleepover in forever~”

“I think Gabi already knows. About the date-sleepover.”

“And I think she has the attention span of a four-year-old,” Wanda reminds you “Come on! The fairy lights~”

Organizing anything with Wanda is exhausting—a distraction, it takes you two nearly an hour and a half to set up the blanket fort—but the reward in itself comes as you and Wanda snuggle together, cozy and warm. The glow of the lights Wanda was so insistent on casts a warm and intimate light, dancing on your faces with every little movement.

Wanda wiggles around, tugs at the blanket—the last piece that you decided to save, and so are now forced to share, “Hey, stop hogging all the blankets!”

“Blanket: singular.”

“Blanket: singular. You and I: plural,” Wanda laughs merrily “Sharing is caring and whatnot.”

You feign innocence, wrapping the singular blanket tighter around yourself, “What are you talking about? I’m just trying to stay warm here.”

Wanda gasps, narrows her eyes playfully as she inches closer, “Really? Is that so? You’re freezing over in the middle of August?” suddenly, she bursts out laughing, “I want to tease you and tell you you’re hot— but it’s too obvious.”

Spoilsport.

You chuckle nervously, your eyes meeting Wanda’s “I wouldn’t have to take the blanket if you weren’t stealing all the warmth.”

You’re close enough that you see every little shift in Wanda’s expression as her lips curve into a mischievous smile, “Oh, I see how it is.”

With a swift motion, Wanda lunges at the blanket, attempting to wrest it from your grasp. Laughter filled the air as you tussled, trying to outmaneuver the other, enjoying the fight for the sake of it, the accidental touches— Wanda was right, it’s July, but—

Amid the playful struggle, your faces draw closer. The laughter fades, you share a meaningful gaze, the world outside the blanket fort slipping away. The warmth of your closeness became more than just about the blankets. And then Wanda kisses you.

#dropout #dropout if #ask #ask game #wanda pavon

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wain-fleets · 5 months

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since you made a post wanting to know people's funny stories, what are some of yours? <3

uhh funny stories. when was this sent to me

okay okay anyways

the first story that comes to mind is when i lost my fingers. my pinky and my ring finger on my left hand. had my ring finger reattached but pinky couldnt be saved unfortunately. i was working on a dirt bike with my cousins when one of the dumbasses decided to get on and take off when i was adjusting the chain. uhh dont really know what he was thinking, but he was just a stupid lil kid so cant fault him much. i was a stupid kid too. a bunch of young teens left unattended with a machine they're determined to fix-- not a good idea. dragged me only a couple feet by my fingers till they popped off. cousins found my digits, i was in shock, my dad was pissed at me. drunk like he usually was. mom was at work cause my dad was a deadbeat and didnt give a fuck about his kids. he called my mom and made me sit on the front steps to wait for her with my hand in a rag. guess its not really a funny story, but it is to me cause now i get to make up crazy stories on how i lost my pinky. i got my boss' kid convinced a gator bit it off. i told him and he was deadass shocked. kids in their santa and tooth fairy stages are so funny. theyll just believe anything LMAO. (no i don't just feed children lies. theyre just funny stories. if you can tell a kid that santa is real, i can tell them my finger got ate by an apex predator ty.)

uhh another one. i was with a group of friends in lousiana, hog hunting. illegally. pretty long story so to sum it up. police showed up, we all scattered, i ended up camping in the woods with my dog for the night. returned to our trucks, found out everybody was gone except for one other dude who had the rest of the dogs with him. rest of the crew returned to pick us up, they had mcdonalds. informed us they'd just been pulled over and received a speeding ticket. but yeah, broke a whole bunch of laws and came out with just a speeding ticket.

lots of other hunting hiccups.

my dad used to lick my mom's eyeballs to fuck with her before he went off the deep end. pretty gross.

i once threw a football at a girl's face because she was talking shit, and it fucked up her braces. uhh another time when i threw a football and jammed a kid's thumb. and then that time i accidentally broke one of my teammates noses with a football. i throw footballs way too hard i guess?

lots of bottle rocket fights. give me and my brothers fireworks and we're gonna shoot them at each other. surprised we haven't lost any eyes. same way with paintball guns. me and my older brother are both grown now and we still do that shit. lots of roughhousing. our love language is beating each other up. theres 3 of us, youngest is 15. we cant go out in public together cause somebody would think we're gonna kill each other, and call the police. also happened before.

still laugh at this time i was putting up drywall at church and this kid, lil dude who was there cause his dad was workin with me blah blah-- he squirted hand sanitizer in his eyes and thats the funniest scream ive ever heard. he was fine, we got him fixed up and bought him a happy meal, but shits still so funny to me and i dont even know why.

#stories #moots #ughhh

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trashbag-baby666 · 1 year

Text

Heart Of Glass-Rooster Bradshaw

Chapter Five.

WC: 2,053.

C/W: Angst.

HOG Masterlist!

The group sat in the classroom again Warlock standing at the front to deliver some news.

"The uranium enrichment plant that is your target will be operational earlier than expected. Raw uranium will be delivered to the plant in ten days time. As a result your mission has been moved up one week in order to avoid contaminating the target valley with radiation." He spoke. Phoenix and Storm shared a concerning look there was no way they could be ready by then they didn't even have the path and terrain figured out. Storm sighed and turned looking at Rooster.

"Sir, no one here has successfully flown a low-level course." Coyote spoke up.

"Neverthe less, you've been ordered to move on. Captain." Warlock nodded and walked back to the side letting Maverick walk to the front.

Storm sighed and crossed her arms, there was no way her father was going to let her fly this mission and she didn't want that to be true. Because he wanted to protect her but yet it was holding back Phoenix and Storm.

"We have one week left to focus on phase two. It's the most difficult stage of the mission. It's a pop-up strike with a steep dive requiring nothing less than two consecutive miracles." Mav held up two fingers and Phoenix and Storm shared another look both of their eyebrows furrowed as everyone wondered how this was going to be possible.

"Two pairs of F-18s will fly in a welded wing formation. Team work, precise coordination of these aircraft is essential to both the missions success and your survival. As you know the plant rests between two mountains. On first approach you'll invert directly into a steep dive. This allows you to maintain the lowest possible altitude and the only possible attack angle. Your target is an impact angle point less than meters wide." Mav went on about this damn near impossible mission.

All of the pilots sharing worried glances with each other, who would be the ones who were able to fly this?

"Egress is a steep high-G climb out to avoid hitting this mountain." Mav clasped his hands together.

"A steep climb at that speed you're pulling at least eight G's," Storm spoke up looking at her father.

"Nine. Minimum." Mav corrected her.

"The stress limit of the F-18's airframe is 7.5." Rooster looked up at him.

"That's the accepted limit, to survive this mission you'll pull beyond that. Even if it means bending our airframe. You'll be pulling so hard you'll weigh close to 2,000 pounds. Your skull crushing your spine your lungs imploding like an elephant sitting on your chest. Fighting with everything you have just to keep from blacking out. And this is where you'll be at your most vulnerable. This is coffin corner." Mav pointed as he began going on.

Storm sighed as she bit at her knuckle a thing she did when she was nervous.

They were going to fly a model track of it after and she was scared and excited. She needed to prove herself. The plain idea of even dog fighting with SAMs seemed impossible and terrifying.

Once Mav finished Phoenix opened up.

"Sir is this even achievable?" She raised her eyebrows.

"The answer to that question will come down to the pilot in the box." Mav looked over the class of pilots. All of them turning heads and glancing at others.

Finally they were up in the air practicing, "Talk to me Storm?" Phoenix called into the radio.

"We are 12 seconds late on target. We gotta move!" Storm replied looking at the radars and around.

"Copy! Try to stay with me!" Coyote responded.

"Huh? Wait who's that?" Storm looked at the radar as another air craft came into view.

"Blue team you've been spotted," Mav came over flying above them.

"Shit it's Maverick." Coyote sighed.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Storm raged.

"I'm a bandit on course to intercept. Blue team what are you gonna do?" Mav came into the radio.

"He's 20 miles left. Ten o'clock. 700 knots closer." Storm watched him.

"Your call. What do you wanna do?" Coyote asked Phoenix.

"Continue. We're close stay on target!" She responded.

"He’s swinging around to the north.” Storm called into the radio.

“Stand by for pop up,” Coyote called.

“Be ready on that laser, Storm.” Phoenix glanced back at her.

“Copy. I’m on it.” Storm looked down at her laser joystick pressing it.

“Blue team, bandit is still closing.” Mav flew above them.

“Popping now!” Coyote yelled pulling up.

“Talk to me Storm where’s Maverick?” Coyote asked.

“He’s five miles out. He’s coming fast.” Storm watched the radar. Storm grunted at the pressure filling her as the G’s overtook.

“Targets in sight.”

“Where’s my laser Storm?” Coyote asked a little harshly.

“Deadeye! Deadeye! It’s not good. Sorry I cant get a lock.” Storm responded.

“We’re out of time I’m dropping blind.” Coyote responded. He dropped and instantly missed it.

“Damn it,” Coyote grunted. The G force now really taking over the three as the exited the practice mountain.

“That’s tone.” Mav got a missile lock.

“Mavericks got a missile lock on us.” Storm sighed.

“Shit! We’re dead.” Phoenix groaned pulling away from the imaginary climb.

“Blue team that’s a fail.” Mav called, “Level out Coyote.”

“Coyote do you copy?” Mav called again into the radio.

“Coyote come in?” Storm called into the radio a sense of panic washing over her as his plane started making weird movements seemingly no control.

“Coyote. Level wings!” Mav yelled, “Oh god. He’s in G-LOC.”

“Coyote!” Storm called again. Phoenix glanced out the canopy as it happened.

“He’s gonna burn in!” Phoenix yelled.

“I’m going after him,” Mav pulled down, “Come on. Give me tone, give me tone, give me tone. Snap out of it Coyote come on!”

“Coyote come on!” Storm yelled as her heart began to beat faster heat washing over her face. She wasn’t very close with him but she had gotten to know him. Coyote snapped out of it last minute pulling up coming out of the canyon.

Relief washing over everyone.

“Coyote are you okay?” Storm and Phoenix asked at the same time.

“Are you okay?” Mav asked.

“I’m okay. I’m good.” Coyote took some deep breathes.

“Good. Good. That’s enough for today.” Mav sighed.

“That was close,” Phoenix came up next to Mav.

“Too close,” he responded. A bird hit Mavs windshield flying back.

“Bird strike! Bird strike!” Mav called panicked once again. It hit one of Phoenix and Storms jet engine a whole new thing flooding over everyone.

“Bird strike!” Phoenix yelled as they got a fire warning on the jet.

“Phoenix,” Storm called her voice full of worry, “Left engines on fire!”

“Climbing!” Phoenix pulled up trying to get the fire to go out.

Mav felt the pain and scarcity wash over him. Not this.

He couldn’t lose his own daughter the way he lost his best friend.

Bradley couldn’t lose her. What would he do without her.

“Throttling back. Shutting off fuel to left engine. Extinguishing fire.” Phoenix called as she did the tasks they were taught.

Mav watched panicking. No. No. No.

“Right engine is out!” Storm yelled.

“It’s still spinning! Trying to restart it!” Phoenix responded.

“Phoenix and Storm it’s on fire! Don’t start-“ Mav yelled.

“Throttling!” Phoenix called.

“Oh my god.” Mav panicked. No. No. No. this couldn’t this couldn’t be happening again. Not to Mazy. He needed her, Bradley needed her. She was the only family both of them had.

“We’re on fire! We’re on fire Damn it!” Storm screamed panicking lacing her voice as they began spinning down.

“Extinguishing right engine!” Phoenix yelled.

“Phoenix! Mazy you need to punch out! Punch out!” Mav yelled. He didn’t want to use her name while flying but he was not just their instructor he was Mazy’s father.

“Warning lights everywhere! Hydraulic failure!” Storm shouted. Her eyes wide her face washed over red. This couldn’t be how it ended. He had heard about the stories of her father and Goose. She couldn’t leave Bradley not like this.

“Flight controls! I cant control it!” Phoenix panicked.

“We’re going down Phoenix! We’re going in! Tell Rooster I love him!” Storm screamed panic flushing every single part of her body. Her heart ached, fuck her whole body ached as she felt tears pricking her eyes.

“You can’t save it! Eject! Eject!” Mav yelled.

“Eject! Eject!” Phoenix screamed as both her and Mazy pulled the levers ejecting themselves. Their plane burning into the side of a canyon exploding.

Bradley sat in a conference room alone. Silent.

He watched it all happen listened to it on the radio he couldn’t do anything about it. Once Phoenix and Mazy were brought into the bases hospital he couldn’t see her because he wasn’t technically family. A simple, “I’m really sorry sir you can’t go see her.”

Mav said she was going to be okay but they were keeping them both overnight. Bradley didn’t know who to be mad at. Mazy? Maverick? Himself?

He bit his lip as he kept a tight grip on his own hands. He stared down at the simple silver band he wore. It was a small gift Mazy had gotten him on their one year anniversary. Something for them to have when either one was deployed to know that they were with them even if it wasn’t physically.

He couldn’t go home.

He couldn’t go home to an empty house without the light and love of his life.

Mazy lit up the darkest of rooms for him always.

Every night of mourning. Every night of PTSD. They were there for each other. Now Bradley was alone. She wasn’t gone but they couldn’t be together on possibly the hardest moment of their lives.

The door opened and Maverick walked in taking a few steps towards him.

“Like I said they’re keeping Phoenix and Mazy overnight for observation but they’re going to be okay. I promise you that. Mazy said she wants you to not worry about her. I know that’s damn near impossible but she doesn’t want you worrying. She wants you to go home and sleep.” Mav rambled.

“That’s good. I’ve never lost a wingman. I couldn’t imagine losing her.” Bradley sighed looking down at his hands again before running them across his face, “I don’t know what I’d do without her.”

“You’re lucky. We both are. I don’t know I could never forgive myself. I want to blame myself for this but I know there’s no holding Mazy back.” Mav sighed, “If you fly long enough though it will happen.”

“Easy for you to say.” Bradley responded, “No wife, you neglect Mazy. Nobody to mourn you when you burn in.” Bradley let the harsh words flow.

“I know I wasn’t always a good father for Mazy. Bradley go home.” Mav sighed, Mav knew growing up he neglected her but he did love Mazy. He loved her so much that he couldn’t bare to look at her when he left for missions incase he didn’t come back, “You need to get some sleep you can see Mazy in the morning.”

“Why’d you pull my papers at the academy?” Bradley yelled at Mav as he was leaving, “Why did you stand in my way?”

“You weren’t ready.” Mav shook his head.

“Ready for what?” Bradley charged at him, “Huh! Ready to fly like you?”

“Ready to forget the book. Trust your instinct don’t think just do. Mazy knew how to do that you didn’t.” Mav turned stepping up to Bradley, “You think up there. You’re dead. Believe me.”

“My dad believed in you,” Rooster said above a whisper, “I’m not gonna make the same mistake.”

“Maverick.” Warlock stepped in to get the other man.

“Just go home Bradley I’ll tell them to let you go see her in the morning.” Mav turned on his heals and followed Warlock out.

Bradley stood there dumbfounded. He had just been compared to his fiancé. He had just been told the truths of his life. He just wanted to hold Mazy. Run his fingers through her soft brown hair, gaze into her green eyes.

He needed her he couldn’t just go home in a mental state like this.

#top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster x reader #phoenix top gun #coyote #pete maverick mitchell #angst

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mcmissileproof · 4 months

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I think that "getting blamed/ridiculed/otherwise guilt-tripped for something that is objectively not my fault" being a recurring theme in my dreams probably says something about my psyche but the thing is those dreams are invariably really funny once I wake up and realize they don't matter in real life

like. shit my unconscious self has had to deal with:

I was being chased by a pack of hogs with knives in their mouths and trying to fly away while a group of middle school mean girls watched like "omg are you seriously levitating right now? that is sooo cringe. anyway why do you hate the hogs. they're so cute and you should just let them stab you"

a hurricane hit my house and threw an entire tree through the wall and when my dad came home he got mad at me for not stopping it

"I'm really freaking out, I found a Mysterious Artifact and now this creepy guy keeps standing outside my window every night and threatening me if I don't let him in and give it to him" "...wow, judgmental much? just because he's curious I guess he's ~creepy~ now?" "he's been threatening to kill me and my dog-" "what, he can't have hobbies? god. asshole. what do you say about me behind my back"

my friend jumped into a river of lava while I watched. a few minutes later she got back out and was ok and when I told her I was glad she didn't die she was like "yeah, no thanks to YOU. you didn't even try to go in after me" and I said "it was lava?????" and she said "yeah and obviously it wasn't that bad, which you'd have known if you actually cared"

I texted a guy to say that he couldn't tell people we were dating because we hadn't seen each other or talked at all in over a year and he showed up at my house 10 minutes later with an army

"popping balloons is an affront to the lord / touching sand is a sin / you can do magic but if you think doing magic is cool that's blasphemy"

#dreams #life hack if you ever need a convenient scapegoat for literally any insane bullshit you can just blame my dream self

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shurinnenation4ever · 10 months

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Heh… Hey

So…. Yesterday was the fourth of July? Well, despite being japanese.. I STILL CELEBRATED WITH A FEW DRANKSSSSSS!!!!!!!

So…. Late post… heh,

Ya see, The pic from LAST YEARS Fourth of July extravaganza popped up in my memories, AND IT MADE ME REMEMBER THE HOLIDAY EXISTED!!!!!!!!

Sighs…….. How I wish I could go back in time ……. In america, having american beers that would put japanese people into a coma.. with my three lovely uncles…….

LMAOOOO JUST KIDDING, IDK THESE GUYS!!!!! I guess they were biiig fans or something, cause these two gay guys [who kinda reminded me of me and my shmoopy] showed up and asked us if we knew how to grill!!! They said they would adopt whoever could!!! And, well, I wasn’t looking to be adopted, BUT I DID KNOW HOW TO GRILL!!!!! So.. I guess I do have two American dads now… except… well, neither of them are the president, but I guess I would be a good steve fill in… heh… maybe we can get a crazy:b cover…. Crazy:b12…. How about them apples?

ANYWAYS. ACK TO THE STORY!!!!!!!

You may be asking, “ermm… sex magnet rinne🤓 Why were you and your poopty booty in Americain the first place🤓🤓🤓🤓” and FISTE OF ALL!!!!!!!! Dont call My shubaby any petnames, it gets me supes jelly and you dont wanna see the beast come inside me. OKAY BUT!!! Me and babyababybabybabybabybabyabbaby were in america cause….. WE WERE COLLABING WITH MARKIPLIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But…. I WANTED TO GO TO AN AMERICAN GAS STATION THAT WOULD SEND JAPANESE PPL INTO A COMA!!!!!!!! Shoopy came with me after a LOTTT of begging, he kept repeating something like “Yuck! Pa-tooey! Americans are dirty and disgusting, and their gas stations are nothing like in japan. Ill be set into a coma!!!!” Buttt……… he still went anyways! Probably cause our love is better that any coma induced gas station!!! LMAOOOO

Sighs… but sadly, America has NO FUCKING SUBTITLES!!????? So we got lost super easily…

And then these two guys picked us up!!!! After about an hour of grillin their dogs and crankin our hogs [heh.. and NOT the motorcycle kind..] Markiplier asked were we were!!!!!! WE HAD A SUPER COOL 5 SCARRY HORROR GAMES VIDEO TO SHOOT EITH HIM!!!!! My pookie wookie came in with the CLUTCH and sent him a pic of where we were.. and BOOM!!!!! MARKIEMOO WAS ABLE TO DOXX US AND SAVE US!!!!! I thought we were gonna get a stern talking to, like whenever I run off from my idol shit, but NO!!!!! MARK CAME WITH SOME ZAZAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WE PARTIED AND CELEBRATED SOME KINDA AMERICAN…. THING!!!!!!! Whats even the fourth about? Like… the day america popped up from the sea? Idfk, and I guess we’ll NEVER KNOW!!!!!!!!

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO EVERY AMERICAN!!!!!! AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY TWO ADOPTIVE DADS, AS WELL AS MARKIPLIER!!!!! IM SURE YOU’LL BE POSTING THAT COLLAB SOON!!!! Even though its been about a year….. and he blocked me whenever I asked about it……. BUT WHATEVES!!!!!! KYAHAHAHAHAHAAA~!!!!!!!!!!!

- 🎲 MOD RINNAYYYYY

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princessmadafu · 1 year

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Their Truth is very boring

Episode 1, part 3...

It's snowing, I'm freezing, going to bed shortly in two sweaters and a coat and I'll still be shivering 'cos the dog and cats always hog the duvet.

6:00 Meghan showing off Archie's California accent. Meghan showing off Harry's brainwashing when he says their love story is only getting started and how M sacrificed everything she had in order to join H's world before he had to sacrifice everything he had to join M in her's... which includes chickens. And M enthusing about how nice it is to let Netflix into their world and let everyone see how nice they are.

Cue some private family photos (which they've been keeping private for their monetary value) and letting on that "a friend" suggested they keep a video diary for posterity (ie monetary value) oh and Harry not knowing what day it is again! Does she keep him in a cupboard? Maybe she only lets him out when she wants him to perform tricks.

8:10 She thinks her kids have roles to perform in this really historical family she despises so much! Wth!!! Is she really that thick or is she acting again? The kids have no future as members of the modern, slimmed-down RF. The junior executives left the company, they don't get to send their kids back to Buck Pal for tiaras and trips in horse-drawn carriages.

8:55 There's the line about it making more sense to hear their story from them; her problem there is, she's lied so much already that we don't trust her.

9:00 and it’s London 2016, M travelling with her girlfriends... looks like they're on a yacht! Lindsay Roth pops up to say nice things about her. She was so intent on being single and just having girltime (ROFL). Lucy Fraser pops up to say nice things about her. "And then came H" - she calls him H, remember.

10:15 H says he met her on Instagram, scrolling through his feed, sees M with cartoon dog ears and dog nose on a Snapchat thing of a friend, and the friend then sets them up. Jeez this is so boring. Pics of H in Africa. M at Wimbledon 2016 with some friend called Jill Smoller who was trying to fix M up with an actor. So much for wanting to enjoy being single, eh! Some friend called Silver Tree pops up to say nice things about her. Description of first date. Do I really have to suffer this? We've heard all this before about how late he was - you told us last year. They're just so self-obsessed, so self-indulgent. Nacho pops up to say nice things about them.

17:00 H plays the Diana card; she made decisions with her heart and he is his mother's son, he says. So's your brother William, by the way. Interesting shots of black Londoners cheering Charles and Diana on H's birth in 1984; funny thing that, black and white people all cheering the RF together - racism didn't seem to bother anybody in 1984 - or in 20-whatever-it-was when H&M had their £30million wedding. It must be a recent idea that Londoners have only just been told they've been doing... since, you know, about 2019.

I'm still only 20 mins into Ep.1 and my mind is going numb. Nothing new here. They haven't actually whinged too much yet, just talked too much goo-goo about nice they really are. Going to have a break and put on some Ovaltine - very hard to get in this country so it's tonight's bedtime treat.

xxx

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allthingsfook · 9 months

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hiiiii! ❤️ Can I get a ship?

I am 5'5 almost 5'6. I have one hazel eye and one very dark brown eye. And I have blond hair. I'm a little on the thicker side.

I love going out and doing things like thrifting, going to antique shops, going to mom and pop diners, going to museums, looking at old houses, or just simply going nowhere, listening to music.

I love animals. I have 2 dogs. One is named Buddy Blue. He's a mix. And the other is named Oliver. He's a Yorkie.

I love drawing and doing useless crafts. I love watching movies and learning the whole script so I can talk along with the characters. I play the bass and piano.

I have one tattoo. I plan on getting more.

Thanks!

Also can you add an nsfw headcanon? If that's okay.

Of course you may!!!! And skipping down to the bottom….. I absolutely can include some explicit context to it 👍👍 that is what I do best 😂

I ship you with….

Josh 🤍

Being around the same height, he’d be able to look straight into your gorgeous eyes and melt for you. He’d be OBSESSED with your different colored eyes. You’d often catch him drifting off into your gaze. Your cheeks would rose over and shrink into your surroundings. Josh wouldn’t let you hide your beauty from him tho. He’d pull you into his arms and make his point.

“You are exactly, precisely, and perfectly you,” he’d coo. “You are what I crave.”

He take your face in his hands, flash his chocolate eyes and embrace your lips in a passionate kiss. As Josh keeps super busy, a fiery moment like this quickly escalates to more. His hands would roam over your curvaceous body. Squeezing your chest and ass, and grinding your hips into his core. He’d whimper into your mouth as he grows hard in his pants…..

While he’s home, I could easily see the both of you enjoying thrifting, movies, sight seeing, crafting, dining, drawing, and escaping into the adventure of music on the road! As Josh has said before, he’s a troubadour… always on the move….taking advantage of the time he has on earth. With that being said, I could imagine the both of you slipping out of east Nashville and head toward the hills. Sadly, I have to say Josh would likely be a huge aux hog and you’d be forced to listen to whatever he’s into at the moment.

Once you arrive to tour impromptu oasis, he’d waste zero time laying you out in the middle of nature to worship your body. He’d insist on spending hours touching you…kissing, sucking, nipping at your skin…massaging your curves….pulsing in and out of you. Not stopping until the sun sinks behind the hills and darkness masks his view. Only then he’d pull you inside and continue to obsess over you, but in less obvious ways. He’d constantly dissociate, envisioning you towering over him while you ride his cock; gorgeous tits bouncing rhythmically as you fuck yourself on him…..

After a late evening packed with a homemade meal, a few rounds of euchre (a piece of his midwest childhood he carries with him), as long winded discussion, the both of you would resort to the bedroom. You’d settle into the cozy bed, thinking Josh would be satisfied with the attention he’d given you throughout the day, but that thought is interrupted by his hips bucking into your backside. You’d roll your eyes and turn toward him to inquire further. He’d just shoot you a shit grin, and not being able to refuse him, you’d chuckle. There’s his invitation! He’d shoot out of bed and escort the dogs, shutting the door behind them; something he’d insist on… dogs out during sexy time 😂 Being the softie he his, as soon as you both orgasm and settle back down, Buddy and Oliver scramble back in and claim their spots for the night!!!

Well!! I think I got really carried away, so hopefully this isn’t too much! But you did ask for NSFW 😂😂 per usual, I LOVE to hear back from you guys after you are able to read the ships…. I especially wanna hear what you think since you are the first to specifically ask for an explicit ship!

I am including a collage and song for a little razzle dazzle 😂

#greta van fleet #gvf #peaceful army #josh kiszka #josh gvf #joshgvfships #joshkiszkaship #josh kiszka smut

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