I am not going to start at the beginning story as I had intended. Instead i would like to start by addressing what is happening right now during this COVID 19 pandemic.
Isolation. Anxiety. Safety. Health.
All of these things are at the top of everyone’s minds right now. It is especially true for me and my partner. I am in the healthcare profession and still working. My husband has two essential jobs, and unfortunately cannot make sacrifices when it comes to his second one due to some financial things. Regardless, at this time, he has a higher stress level because of the virus, added on top of feeling worn down and tired because of the added stress. He states he has no real “coping” strategies, and the ones he has are not working.
So what do you do about this? How can you handle a heightened amount of stress and anxiety during this time? When you already have the inability to properly handle these feelings, what can you do? It is way harder for me to be strong for him during this time, as I have added stress due to all the changes with work. I continue with my self care in my daily routines, but it’s hard for me to feel good for the both of us, as I typically have to do. It is very hard at this time to keep an even keel when his moods are up and down. He’s so in his head, and can’t share with me what is going on because it’s against what he has done his whole life.
Personally, I have to continue to remind myself, it’s okay. I am doing what I can, but often it feels like it’s not enough, and I find myself reacting in the ways that are least supportive for him. Which in turn makes him feel more isolated due to his neglect trauma. He feels shame for getting angry (another story), and then feels like I will neglect/leave him. It’s a circle that keeps repeating.
I am getting tangential here. From what I can understand right now he feels stressed he has to work. He feels extra anxiety because of the pandemic. He feels for everyone who is effected by this in any way.
What I can do to help: keep all this in mind, keep an open heart, listen, be forgiving, stay grounded, and keep in mind it’s NOT about ME.
What can you do if you’re feeling the same? UP YOUR SELF CARE! Do more of what makes YOU feel good. Add an extra five minutes onto you workout or your meditation. Add gratitude practice into your daily routine. Remind yourself of what is good during the day, and live in the good moments. let go of the negative moments. We can get through this, and there is an end somewhere in sight.