First Cuts
Part 1 | Part 2
“Hey,” Steve says breathlessly. “Y’know that thing that we are not mentioning, ever, on pain of death?”
Eddie blinks. “Y’know you’re still mentioning it even if you don’t call it what it is, right?”
“Eddie,” Steve says seriously, which causes Eddie to focus. “I need your help. I’m kinda freaking out, here.”
“Okay,” Eddie says, running through things in his mind. “Want me to come over? Or wanna come over here? Or just over the phone?”
“I’m stressed out enough I can’t make any decisions right now,” Steve says.
“Okay,” Eddie says, “then I’m coming over. Unlock the door for me, ‘kay? I’ll be there in ten.”
“M’kay. Thank you.” With a click he’s gone, and Eddie hangs his phone back up too, looking around for his keys.
He snatches them off the counter, jams his feet into his shoes, and takes off.
He realizes halfway there that he’s still in his pajamas.
He walks in when he arrives to find Steve sitting at the table, staring at an envelope like he’s trying to disintegrate it with just his vision. Eddie thinks he can almost see the paper smoking. “Hey,” he says softly. “What’s going on?”
Steve doesn’t meet his eyes, just keeps his gaze locked on the envelope. “I did something impulsive. And Robin doesn’t know. And either nothing changes, or everything does.” He lifts his face to Eddie’s. His bottom lip is bitten raw.
“Okay,” Eddie says. “Well, first things first is to figure out which of those options it is, right? I’m assuming the letter will determine which it is.”
“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching for it, only to push it towards Eddie. “I, uh. I applied to a specific school. And I know the kids are going to tease me about it-”
“Hey,” Eddie interrupts, brows furrowed. “You’re plenty smart, Stevie, don’t listen to the little shitheads, alright? Whatever the answer is, whatever you decide to do, I’m with you. One hundred percent. I’ll even punish the little twerps during our next session if they say anything, okay?”
“Can you open it?” Steve begs, whispering, eyes wide.
Eddie’s hopeless to refuse. “Of course I can,” he replies, just as softly.
He looks at the envelope. Good, thick paper. Sticker return address. He opens it and pulls out a letter.
Dear Steven J. Harrington,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen for 1988’s starting class! In Tricoci University, we pride ourselves on…
Eddie looks up at Steve with a grin. “You’re in.”
“Holy shit,” Steve breathes. “Holy shit!” He begins to grin. “I made it!”
“You made it!” Eddie celebrates, then keeps reading.
We hope you look forward to your time here at Tricoci University of Beauty Culture Bloomington.
Eddie looks up at Steve again. “A beauty school?”
Steve flushes scarlet. “Cosmetology. I wanna do hair.”
Eddie sits for a minute, thinking, before he grins at Steve and stands to sweep him into a spinning hug. “That sounds perfect for you!”
Steve giggles giddily, then grins happily at Eddie when he’s set down. “You really think so?”
“Think so? I know so! Stevie! This is gonna be so good for you!” He drags Steve over to the couch so they can both sit. “I mean, think about it. And I don’t just mean the obvious high school shit. Even the little things. You’re good with people, dude. They just like you just ‘cause you’re you. And who knows more about you than anyone else?”
Steve frowns. “Robin?”
Eddie chuckles. “My mistake. General you, not specific. Your hairdresser! You tell them everything. And you live for that shit, Stevie, I see how your eyes light up when the kids share gossip.” He grabs Steve’s hands and smiles warmly at him. “I promise, everyone’s gonna be so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Eds,” Steve murmurs, cheeks still pink.
“And hey,” Eddie says, grinning again. “You’ve got at least one lifelong customer.” He points to himself, grinning when Steve laughs.
“Thanks,” he says, then takes a deep breath, suddenly serious again. Eddie schools his face accordingly. “Will you help me tell Robin?”
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A Guide On Lessening Yourself
(Or, What To Do Before They Cut You Open)
This guide has been created to prepare you for your upcoming procedure. Please read carefully and follow all directions in order to have the safest experience.
RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Do not eat. (Required; at least 3 hours before the procedure starts. No meats, no vegetables, no grains, and especially no fruits. Any remaining food that is being digested will get in the way.)
- Do not drink. (Required; at least 2 hours before the procedure starts. No water, soda, juice, soup, milk, coffee, or energy drinks. Any remaining fluids will get in the way.)
- Do not bleed. (Required; at least 1 month before the procedure. No paper cuts, nosebleeds, injuries or other form of your own blood leaving your body. Restriction of the expression of your mortality is imperative.)
- Do not dream. (Strongly suggested; at least 1 month before the procedure starts. No daydreams, no hopes, no wishes, no lifelong goals, and no nightmares. Avoid losing yourself within any fantastical trappings - these are the vestiges of a mortal mind.)
TIPS:
BEFORE
- Make sure to confirm your procedure date. Whether by checking online, asking your doctor, or praying, it's of utmost importance that you remember the specific time and day of your event.
- Make certain that this procedure is for you.
Though the process has already been scheduled, you still have options if you're unsure. Asking God or previous patients are the most authentic ways to learn about this process. Consider the benefits and consequences of the procedure as a whole - this will undoubtedly affect your life, but will it be more negative rather than positive? Will you be able to be happy again? If you are willing to accept such possibilities, continue on. Should you choose to, however, you may still opt out before the scheduled date by telling your doctor and/or healthcare provider.
DURING
- Make sure to arrive early to your procedure. Timeliness is key.
- Be flexible with your interviewers. Many angels are unfamiliar with human languages and may instead choose to communicate directly inside your mind. This may cause discomfort as well as the feeling of being stripped into nothingness. Don't panic and remember that you deserve a chance at holiness, regardless of your humanity.
- Be polite. Though your angel interviewers may have already visited Earth before, human customs are often difficult to adjust to. If an interviewer makes a social faux pas (such as revealing their true form), brush it off and continue the conversation as best you can.
- Be prepared for any questions regarding your past attachments, relationships, possessions, etc. If you've prepared well, you'll be able to answer with full honesty that you have left all possible remnants of humanity behind - that means no mistakes, no regrets, and no emotions.
- Should you pass the interview (you will be told after they have finished), be ready to experience anywhere from a small to large amount of pain. This experience usually lasts around 20 seconds, but some say it feels like an eternity of blinding, searing light. The scale of your pain will be a direct result of how successful you were at stripping away your humanity; the agony that follows will be the angels burning it off of you.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait through the pain.
- Wait thought it.
- Wait through it.
- Wait
AFTER
- If you've successfully passed the interview, survived the procedure, and become an angel, congratulations! The following tips are only suggestions, but may help you in adjusting to your new existence.
- Avoid brightening your divine light too much at once. You'll quickly realize that your new eyes are far more adjusted to light than a human's, making the world appear dimmer than before.
- Avoid speaking out loud to others for the first few millenium, as this may cause harm if done incorrectly. Instead, practice "speaking" through the visual and audible expression of abstract concepts.
- Don't expect to visit Earth again. More often than not, angels avoid the human world (most say it's too painful to linger), so it's very unlikely that you'll return. Don't come back if you possibly can.
Finally, enjoy your new status as part of the divine. Not many people get to experience the feeling - you have made it! Please enjoy the rest of infinity.
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OG Title: I Must Tame My Villain Fiancé, the Golden Guard of the North, for the Sake of a Flowery Path~!!
I've been obsessed with manhwas about contract engagements and villain love interests and dukes of the north, and saw there was a Huntlow duke AU fanfic, so I wanted to put my own spin on the trope. This is what I originally drew for my application to @huntlowfanzine last summer and did not fully render it until now haha
inspired by Bride of the Monster Duke fanfic by @kammieceleek and @blundrstorm, and @marionette-j2x's accompanying art!
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Finally, once she was a safe distance away from that flowing rot, did she stop to look down.
Where once the platforms below had been was now a gigantic sea of that horrible black fluid, churned by the current of the something that had brought it here.
A face had emerged from the sea, barely, just as pitch black. Three pairs of eyes of varying sizes stared at her, all blank and bright and yet also so, so intimately familiar - almost disgustingly so.
But what caught her attention the most was the seventh slit above them; white, rimmed in pinkish tones that danced around like-
Like fire.
Of course. Of course he would do this, the traitor.
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Asking for breeders to health test is not too much work. (Ensures dog is free of genetic health issues as much as possible)
Asking for breeders to breed temperamentally stable dogs is not too much work. (Ensures puppies will also be temperamentally stable as much as possible).
Asking for breeders to breed structurally healthy dogs is not too much work. (Ensures dog can function as a dog).
Asking for proof of correct temperament from an outside source like an evaluator, working/sporting test, or real world application such as actual work is not too much work (ensures dog can do what breeder claims they can do as much as possible).
These are like bottom of the barrel expectations for a “responsible” dog breeder. Asking for less is ridiculous. We are responsible for ensuring future dogs are healthy and stable and lowering such expectations below this point is like asking a bar on the floor if it can possibly go lower.
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