#possibly this week my boss permitting

[pinkacademic]

Crunch Time Exam Prep

My girl @seliniteheart requested: “How to prepare for exams 3-4 weeks ahead while not going insane because they're the hardest exams in the entire major” and this seems time-sensitive, so I gotchu girly! I hope I got this to you in time!!

Scheduling

Break your time up effectively so that you can get as much information crammed into your brain as possible

Break it down also so thay you repeat the information on a good interval. Maybe, if there’s three weeks to go, repeat question x every monday and info y every tuesday, and do a practise paper every friday?

If applicable, figure out what’s most likely to be on the exam and focus on that

Focus also on your weak points. Don’t waste energy on the things you know and are good at, give them a go over but focus on the stuff you don’t like

Schedule productive breaks- if you’ve been elbows down on your desk for a bit and want to keep the study energy up but need a break, take a break for some kinaesthetic learning, for example.

Take 0% breaks- in other words, take some breaks to do absolutely nothing, where even thinking about the exam is BANNED. Life-Hack- inform other people of this strategy so that you don’t get your mum coming into your room like “how’s the studying going?” when you’re mid-meditation, or to be watching your comfort YouTuber when your bestie is like “girl, I’m so stressed for this exam on Monday!” This time is for 0 brain power, no stress.

Sorry to the girlies who also have to consider jobs and other priorities, but see if you can work with your employers, the aunt you babysit for etc to reduce your time, or if you can blend your studies. Eg maybe you’re studying for a maths exam, which means helping your little cousin with maths homework keeps you in the right mindset to study for an hour when you get home. Or maybe your retail job is cool and lets you study in the breakroom, or even take your textbook to the till when its quiet.

If your bosses aren’t cool, unfortunately, you just have to make the most of spare time, but as long as you’re maximising your study time to work for you, you can do this!

Breaks

As mentioned above, schedule in breaks that keep the vibes up, and breaks that turn your brain OFF completely. Set yourself school hours eg 9-3 or even 9-5. Doesn’t matter, just pick a time in the evening when that’s it OVER and no more studying.

Make sure to go for water regularly, and eat at regular times- and DO NOT take your notes with you!

Taking Care of Yourself

Make your study experience as painless as possible by giving yourself a good environment. If you like the library, sequester yourself into a cozy corner; if you like a café, same deal. If you’re at home, make sure to keep your space tidy and organised.

I’m gonna mention going to get water again. Go get some right now, actually. Where I live, the hottest days of the year are exam season and back-to-school season. Christmas exams are a whole separate nightmare but you’ll still sweat through your fifteen million layers! Go hydrate!

If you’re hunched over your desk, you need to stretch. Find YouTube video you like, especcially if you’re not that familir with stretching. And go for a walk at least once a day, weather permitting.

If you’re a kinaesthetic learner especially, do a proper cooldown after exercising! That’s true anyway, but especially if you’re adding your brain as a muscle to train.

Actually, maybe we should all be doing warm-ups and cool downs… go over your favourite aspects of your subject in a quick five minutes at the start and end of your sessions!

The Actual Studying

Aka, the hard bit. Its so much mor fun to just organise your space, gather all your pens, and set up your instagramable study session, avoiding the actual “study” bit- God knows that’s me. How you actually study is so different person to person and subject to subject, so I’m going to give tips that are hopefully applicable to a lot of people, but may not all work for everyone!

Cater to your own preferences: I sometimes listen to classical music when I study, I sometimes listen to numetal, so what makes sense to you.

If you need to, block out all distractions: do not disturb on your phone, even turn off your wifi if you can.

If you’re like me and need distractions eg adhd: try pacing to shed any excess energy, listen to loud music (lol like my numetal ha), if possible, listen to your notes aloud while doing something else (I used to play solitaire in class). I find that if you have something else that you can focus on such as a pretty menial/repetitive game like solitaire, or a song with lyrics, your brain gives more energy to that so that instead of a hundred million thoughts distracting you, its only one extra thing.

Read your notes aloud to yourself and walk around your room- hit all three learning styles at once

Write and re-write things, condense it down, do past papers, and just keep repeating the same information until you’re sleep-talk in just the quadratic formula and/or you’re even dreaming in French.

Ok, that’s it for now. I hope that helped selineiteheart, and I hope it was useful to anyone else who needs this! There are a tonne of resources out there, and I’m sure you’ll find what works for you- lmk what you want to see next! Also, I hope you do well in your exams! Good luck, I’m sure you’ve got this!!

#pink academia #pink #academia #pink academic #studyblr #study tips #pink academia masterpost project

[legacygirlingreen]

December 1896 // Farmer Sebastian Sallow x Reader (part 12)

Full series master list here

Warnings: finally some action (not smut but smooching), angst once again, sick Anne returns

audio for the chapter found here

word count: 9,000

I searched aurora borealis green

Sebastian, 

I recognize that this letter has been a long time coming, and I have certainly found myself drafting it several times unsuccessfully. With Ominis’s reassurance, I would like to let you know that I am ready to repair what relationship we might be able to have in the time I have left. A part of me feels selfish, to reappear in your life, knowing I hardly have days remaining, but I could not allow you to go through the rest of your life knowing that I have not spent every single day since I left, thinking of you. 

If you will allow it, I wish to live out my remaining time peacefully in Feldcroft. I know you have a career, and hardly have time for one dying sister with whom you haven’t spoken in years, but if there was a way, I’d like to try. 

I shall await you in our old home, 

Anne 

Sebastian had never rushed home faster after receiving the correspondence he’d dreamed of for years. He informed his boss he was taking a sabbatical due to a family matter before packing up the flat in Paris and the one in London, then heading home. That had been a few weeks ago and his sister had moved into the house so that he might spend as much time with her as possible. Often Ominis would also spend the night with them when his work permitted. 

Their first night together all they did was weep, apologize and hold one another. He had missed her dearly, and to be reunited once more was profound. As much as Sebastian cared for his career, his love for his twin triumphed over nearly anything else in the world. 

The first thing he did after reuniting with Anne was to send a letter to the girl, informing her that Anne had come home and that she would like to see her during the Yule time. The letter brought tears to her eyes and she snuck out of her dorm room immediately in order to use the enchanted mirror to speak with Sebastian until the sun rose, simply because she could not be happier for him. He had laughed, cried and shown every variety of emotion for her, unashamedly. 

Now all he looked forward to was having every person he cared for in the same place for the yule time. When she finally arrived back in Feldcroft, it had been much later than he anticipated. Usually she rushed home, but she seemingly took an extra day before arriving. Sebastian hardly had time to ponder why as the second she came bounding into the hamlet he was already rushing towards her at top speed, lifting her around the waist with his large hands and spinning her through the air as she laughed. 

“Sebastian put me down!” she shrieked, worried he would ruin her perfectly styled hair, and he refused for a moment longer just to tease her. Since the moment they had shared on her birthday in September, their conversations via mirror had seemed more weighted, every letter filled with more longing, and the time daydreaming of one another more frequent.  She would hardly admit it out loud, but she was totally and completely in love with the farmer next door. Something in her soul whispered that he loved her as well… 

“Can you hardly blame me? You kept me waiting so long… Did you run into a delay leaving France?” he asked her curiously and she looked around to make sure no one was watching.

Leaning up she pressed a small kiss to the side of his cheek before responding, “I shall tell you when I know more, but I actually interviewed for a job after graduation. I think it will be a good fit, should it pan out, but I am waiting until I have confirmation before allowing myself to get too excited”.  

“That’s…” Sebastian trailed off, realizing that soon enough she would have a career and he hoped by some chance it would bring her close to him, but he respected her decision to remain tight lipped. After all, he asked her to make decisions with her own future in mind, not theirs. “That’s wonderful! I look forward to hearing more about it”, he replied, picking up her suitcase to help lug it over to her home. 

“You won’t believe what happened during the ballet recital, Sebastian. So our male lead ended up hurting himself in defense against the dark arts class a week before the performance, and we replaced him. Despite that, his replacement ended up being so much better, as he was able to actually lift me more easily. But, headmaster Black attended, as his nephew attends Beauxbatons and was my replacement dance partner. The man is absolutely foul, but he remembered me for the project with Professor Sharp and Ms. Morris all those years ago.” she explained with a smile and he couldn’t help but be proud that his very uptight former headmaster actually remembered the young woman. 

“That’s very interesting indeed. Is there any more-” he started to ask as the door to her home opened wide and an army of her siblings and her mother rushed outside to greet her. All of her siblings of age were attending Hogwarts, while the youngest was still at home, so they all missed her dearly during the year. 

Sebastian stepped back, allowing them to be reunited when her mother swept him up as well, kissing his cheek and thanking him for bringing her bag. Handing him a potion for Anne to help with the nausea before she then left to keep cooking. 

“When you have a moment, Anne would like to see you. She misses you, and has some things she wishes to tell you” Sebastian told her as she finally came up for air after hugging all her younger siblings. 

“I would love to see Anne, just let me get settled and I shall walk over -” she started and he interrupted.

“Actually, I can help you unpack if you’d like, and I can walk you over as well.” Strange. Sebastian had never been so keen to be with her every second humanly possible but she shrugged, letting him know it was fine if that’s what he wished for. His tone almost sounded desperate, like a child wishing to be included. It was endearing to the point she couldn’t deny him. 

Climbing the stairs together to the loft, they remained quiet. They had made this journey often when they were children, as it was not uncommon for him to spend time with her after Anne was cursed or Solomon passed away. Sometime felt much more heavy in the air as they both rounded the set of stairs together, clothes shuffling being the only sound to be heard. 

Eventually making it to the top floor of the home, Sebastian set down her stuff near the door, standing off to the side so that she could unpack as she pleased. Waving her wand, she returned her clothes to the dresser without much glance. Grabbing her books, journal, mirror and stack of letters from her other bag, she placed them on her desk. Lastly she collected the small bag of toiletries from her suitcase by hand, walking them over to the small vanity and sitting down. 

Just as she had worried, Sebastian had in fact ruined her hair when he’d lifted her. Sighing she started to remove the braid, nearly forgetting he was in the room entirely until he moved closer. Standing just behind her, she could see his belt in the reflection as she finished removing her braids so that her long hair hung loose. Grabbing the brush she started to remove the small knots. Before she could start to redo the updo Sebastian laid a hand on her shoulder, prompting her to look up at him. 

“It looks very pretty down if you don’t mind me saying…” he told her, as she grew wide eyed and flushed. 

“But it’s hardly proper to leave my hair down.  People might talk-” she replied nervously.

“Then let them. There aren’t many in the hamlet to begin with, most of whom do not care about such proprietary… I understand if you don’t want to -” he said, realizing that demanding she leave her hair down on his accord was somewhat rude. 

“No, it's fine. You’re right. I can leave it down” she said awkwardly with a smile, setting the brush down again, giving him the privilege of seeing her hair down. 

Pulling out a small bottle of perfume, she put it against the insides of her wrist, lifting it to a spot behind her ears while he watched. 

“Is that new?” he asked her, not recalling a time she ever wore perfume. Not that she ever smelt bad by any means of the word, but seeing her applying oil to her skin peaked his interest. It seemed so adult, granted he knew she was one at this rate, and had been in the eyes of their world since the previous year. 

“It is. My roommate gifted it to me for my birthday. I quite like it” she said, standing from the vanity, moving towards the door when he intercepted her, gently placing his hand against her elbow to stop her from rushing back out. He imagined that she was feeling nervous having him in her living space, alone and unchaperoned, but that had never stopped them before, and he’d be damned if it mattered now. 

Sebastian brushed some hair off her shoulder, leaning his face into where she’d put the fragrance. Letting the tip of his nose gently touch the shell of her ear, he inhaled. She shivered as he did so.  Sebastian was unprepared for the nirvana his senses experienced immediately. It smelled so utterly divine. Very feminine, floral and with a touch of the morning dew. Like a rainstorm in a lilac field. Unable to stop himself, he allowed himself another whiff as he almost became intoxicated off the scent alone.  

He had often found the fragrances the women in Paris wore to be overwhelming.  While they often smelled good, something artificial about the overly floral or sweet perfumes became off putting to him.  It was as if most women he met made it their mission to smell constantly of the inside of a bakery or as if they’d rolled around in a florist shop all afternoon.  It usually left him with a headache if he was honest. But this smell was so light, almost subtle on her skin, as if it was coming directly from her and not the beautiful ornate bottle he’d seen. The flowers smelt natural, not feigned, and the delightful addition of whatever clean undertone it had was an unexpected surprise.  The perfume complimented her nature in a way he hadn’t expected.  It was as if that fragrance was destined to be worn on her skin and in her hair. 

“Are you going to keep standing here sniffing me like a crup in heat, or are we going to see your sister?” she asked with a laugh and immediately his face flamed realizing he had in fact been so drunk off the perfume he’d remained wafting her. 

“Sorry, I’m not sure what came over me” That was a lie. He was very aware of what came over him. 

“It’s alright. I suppose that means you like it.” she said as she reached for her shawl, knowing it was bound to get even colder into the evening. Sebastian stopped her, removing his jacket and placing it on her shoulders.

“Very much.” he said without much explanation before heading down the stairs with her in tow. 

Anne had absolutely withered from the last time she’d seen the girl. The girl was barely clinging to life as it seemed, and it took every ounce of her to not outwardly grimace as her childhood friend lay there, almost permanently immobile in the bed, with the covers pulled around her. The girl’s hair was very thin, in some spots showing through almost to her scalp, and her skin looked dull and lifeless. She wasn’t sure if she would start crying after seeing the poor shape Anne had been living in for Merlin knows how long. 

Sebastian had informed her that his twin was far cry from the way she remembered, but this was the type of sickness one couldn’t articulate. She had to hand it to Sebastian, maturity had done him well, as he would’ve become absolutely insistent on a cure if he’d seen her like this when he was younger, but now he seemed to be respectful of the woman’s wish to die with as much dignity as possible. Time and grief had squashed his selfish desire to cure his sister so he wouldn’t be left alone. Sitting next to Anne, she didn’t see how this life provided much dignity, but she was happy to see her regardless. It still made her so sad for Anne, and Sebastian. 

“Oh y/n… you look even more breathtaking than Sebastian said…” the woman said so etherally it was as if she was in a dreamlike trance as she spoke. Coming closer to the edge of the bed, she lifted one of Anne’s hands and gently leaned down to press a kiss to each hollowed cheek. 

“Sebastian is going around claiming me to be breathtaking?” she asked with a laugh, knowing that likely Anne had not grown out of her enjoyment at teasing her twin. The shakey laugh she received let her know that her inclination was correct. 

“He hardly stops talking about how beautiful you’ve grown.”  Anne said and although she mostly meant it to tease her brother, she knew deep down that he’d grown so smitten with the neighbor over the years. 

“Well that’s good to know… don’t tell me you had to see that wretched mustache he was sporting a few months ago. I am very glad to see the abysmal thing is gone” y/n replied with a chuckle, recalling how he’d appeared a few months ago at her school versus now. 

“Unfortunately, yes. Thank Merlin he shaved it off. Can you imagine my surprise leaving my brother baby faced and returning to see him with the sad excuse for facial hair he wore” Anne replied. 

“I am right here” Sebastian said, reminding them as he let out an overly dramatic sigh. 

“We know.” Anne told him, drawing the girl closer to whisper to her, “he’s absolutely taken with you, you know?” 

“Is that so?” She asks, knowing full well that Sebastian made his affections known while repressing his intentions to act on them. 

“Terribly so. I think it’s wonderful. Especially with the way you used to be so sweet on him… you’re not..?” Anne was unsure how to ask if she was courting anyone.

“There is no one if that is what you’re asking” she told the sick girl, knowing that Sebastian was likely listening. 

“That’s good to hear. Do you think that perhaps -“ 

“Anne, stop pestering her about our relationship” he said with a sigh, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“But it’s so much fun,” Anne replied with a chuckle.

“I know it is, but maybe lay off it a tad for now…” he deflected gently, hoping to shift the conversation off a topic that made him uncomfortable. The more normalized Anne made it seem, the more likely he was to go back on his word and just extend offers before either of them was ready. Sebastian had to remind himself she deserved a career out of school, not to be stuck as a housewife with their children before she had the chance to live… 

“So how are you Anne, all things considered?” She asked the woman.

“As comfortable as I can be I suppose” she said with a sad smile. 

“Your mum has been an absolute saint, you know that?” Sebastian told her, and she smiled. 

“That’s mum, always helping where she can,'' knowing full well her mothers work as a healer and apothecary was helpful to the surrounding hamlets. 

“We greatly appreciate it, trust me” he assured her.

“So tell me all about school, how has Beauxbatons been?” Anne asked and she spent some time catching the woman up to speed on the last few years. 

It wasn’t long before she had a bout of pain, Sebastian working her through it until she relaxed again. Although it had been years since she’d experienced witnessing them, she fell back into the normalcy of them, having taken care of Anne for so long. Once Anne laid back down again, she drifted off almost immediately to sleep and y/n stood, crossing the threshold to the potions station behind Sebastian. 

She didn’t speak as he moved to tidy it, knowing that based on the expression he wore, he was likely deep in his own head by now. All she did was wrap her arms around his middle, laying her hands across his abdomen and resting her cheek along the area between his shoulder blades. He sighed as she did so, closing his eyes as he allowed her to give him the silent support. After all this time she seemed to read him so well. 

Sebastian brought his hand to collect her own, interlocking their fingers as he felt her warm breath on his back. Eventually he slipped his fingers from hers, turning around as he rested his back along the potions table and gazing down at her.

“Thank you for being here” 

“Of course. Nowhere else I’d rather be” she promised.

“It means the world, but you likely already know that…” 

“I do. No need to explain yourself” 

“It’s been odd to be back and you’re not here. I forgot what life was like in the hamlet before you arrived”, he admitted. 

“Life before I moved to the hamlet…” she said, pretending to ponder for a moment before snarkily replying “must have been absolutely dreadful”. 

“It is. I hadn’t realized why this place felt like home, until the person who made it such was no longer here” he said confidently, tucking her stray curl behind her ear and his gaze bore so boldly into her own. 

“Sebastian… but you said-” 

“I know what I said” he replied with an annoyed sigh, closing his eyes as he held his hand along her neck, collecting himself before he continued. “Please just let me have a moment. I just want a brief moment to allow myself the pleasure of denying reality. Afterwards we can go back to pretending we don’t care for each other, all for the sake of safeguarding your future. But just let me have this moment to feel the very depth of the love I hold for you, please Mon Chou… .” He begged and all she did was nod, leaning in and pressing her forehead to his like she had done on her birthday. The day she had hoped he would just kiss her, only to be denied. The day he admitted to holding deep feelings for her but considering the age difference to be unfair to her. 

She didn’t speak. Breathing him in as her eyes fluttered shut and they simply held one another. She felt the fire that had been lit in her soul the day she met him burning so intensely within her if he hadn’t been holding her upright she likely would’ve bucked at the knees. Having him this close reminded her that he was a young man, and her a young woman, and the feelings they shared were normal. She realized every moment with him from that very first day she had fallen in love so slowly, so beautifully until it came to a head. 

“I love you.” He whispered barely audibly as her eyes snapped open. He hadn’t openly admitted the feelings in this regard to her, not even a few months back. She had, and while he alluded to similar sentiments, he had refrained from actually saying the words. To hear him confirm caused a small sound similar to a squeak to come out of her parted lips as she stared at him. 

Sebastian didn’t allow the girl an opportunity to respond. Lips barely pressing against one another the same way butterfly wings would dance upon the skin, Sebastian brushed his lips over hers before pulling away quickly. It wasn’t a real kiss but it still left her feeling as if she was walking on hot coals. 

“The job I applied for is at Hogwarts. Mrs. Sharp put in a good word with the headmaster and he himself believes that it will be a good fit. I have no reason to believe I will not receive a proper offer soon... Regardless, I intend to come back to Scotland. I miss home. I miss my family. I miss you.” She admitted as he looked into her eyes with an unreadable expression. 

“That’s wonderful you’ll make a fantastic professor.” He told her with a smile. 

“Librarian actually. Madam Scribner is retiring finally. Rebecca was so kind to let the headmaster know how knowledgeable I am with various subjects and how much I read. He agrees having some youth in that department might prove beneficial, especially with catching youngsters sneaking into places they shouldn’t.” She teased as she leaned back slightly, arms going to wrap around his waist, fingers fiddling with his waist coat’s buckle. 

“I only got caught on the very rarest of occasions” he said with a smile. 

“You are such an unashamed liar Sebastian Sallow!” she said with a fake gasp as he chuckled. 

“That makes me truly happy to hear. I am sure your siblings will be thrilled to see more of you during the year” he told her, knowing that if she was at Hogwarts she wouldn’t be far away. 

“I am glad we are both getting more time with our siblings” she said, the comment lingering as he looked past her shoulder to see Anne sleeping. 

“You are partly the reason she came back, you know?” he said flatly and she raised an eyebrow, curious what he could mean by that.

“Ominis spoke to her after Professor Sharp and Ms. Morris’s wedding about how highly you spoke of the progress I’ve made in stepping back from the dark arts. How dedicated I seemed to staying well intended, and how I had respected her wishes to leave her alone. I believe for the longest time, despite Ominis remaining my friend, he thought like Anne in the fact that I still searched for a cure in private. It wasn’t until you spoke with him, that he spoke with Anne. Since then she’s been warming up to the idea of coming home. But without Ominis having your assurance to bring to my beloved sister, she never would’ve come home… she’s only here as a result of your actions.” he explained as he shifted his gaze back to the girl in front of him, her eyes glazed over with tears as she recalled the conversations she had exchanged with the blind boy during the wedding, in which they both admitted to deeply loving the Sallow twins..

“I am really glad she came home… even if it’s not for long. You deserve to feel the warmth of your sister’s love again.” she explained as if it was the most logical explanation in the world. 

“I am not a good man. She left… She left because I killed uncle Solomon. The fact I am not rotting away in Azkaban like I deserve... I am a criminal, a murder. No better than the man who killed your father-” he tried to explain to her and she refused to listen. 

“You are a good man, Sebastian Sallow. A bad man doesn’t use his career to better the lives of those around him. A bad man doesn’t drop his entire life to care for a dying sister. A bad man doesn’t deny his feelings for the sake of respecting a young woman with whom he loves by letting her go, all for the sake of allowing her a fair chance to live her life… I have known tragedy at the hands of cruel men, including your Uncle. Do you believe that I, of all people, would love a wretched man?” she retorted with the rhetorical question and he looked to her.

“I believe that you may be blinded by the affections you shared for me when I was younger-” he started and she raised her voice to him, something in the many years she’d known him she had never done. 

“I am fully aware that you are not some innocent boy anymore. You made that quite clear when you whisked me away from school looking more handsome than I have ever seen you, despite that ridiculous mustache, and brought me to my home village. The gaze you thrust upon me that night contradicted the words you spoke.  I have read every letter you have sent, vaguely detailing the romances you have found in other women. I have continued to whisper into a mirror well after curfew in order to spend time speaking with you no matter how much it destroys me knowing you will continue to chase after women more affluent, more beautiful and more close to you in age than I. Sure, I know full well that I loved that younger version of you who spoke so kindly to me. The one who put up with my presence when he didn’t have to, and who encouraged me when I needed it the most. But do not dare accuse me of mistaking you for a farm boy I met when I was just a child. I am competent enough to recognize that if I myself am a woman, one who seems to so often catch you staring in ways you should not. I am perfectly capable of recognizing that you are a man now, Sebastian.” 

He was stunned. He hardly knew what to say. She was right. He had been rude to accuse her of being idealistic in her affections and he knew well enough to know she had grown with him not because of him. He had not considered that with time her feelings had evolved as they both had, an oversight that now seemed redundant considering he acknowledged previously how his own emotions surrounding her had shifted. 

“So where do we go from here?” he asked her. For the first time in a long time, possibly ever, he was unsure how to proceed or where to look for an answer. 

“You focus on your time with Anne. I focus on my remaining time at school and establishing a career. All I ask…” she trailed off, questioning internally how to word her request as he peaked a glance at her before she continued. “All I ask is that you stop viewing me as some helpless, incapable child who needs protecting. I am an adult, and have been for a while despite still being schooled. It’s time you start acknowledging me as such, especially if you keep gawking at me the way you have been,” she said with a sigh. 

“You’re right. I apologize for my untoward actions-” 

“Don’t” she said raising a hand to silence him. Her eyes spoke to him, letting him know that it was wrong to apologize for something she desperately wanted and he refused to give her, despite the both of them wanting it. “Your actions are the furthest from the most vulgar experiences I have been privy to encounter, although that discussion is not your business in the slightest, nor is it appropriate to discuss given your stated boundaries” 

“Wait, you…” he trailed off as his mind connected the dots in realizing she was far from innocent. 

“Yes. We shall leave it at that.” she continued bluntly.

“Of course” he said with a sigh, realizing that he had essentially shot himself in the foot in gaining new information regarding her fragility, but based on the connotations she spoke, he assumed what she refused to say was contradictory to his concerns. 

“I should be heading back for supper soon. I shall run something by you and Anne, alright?” she offered and he nodded. 

“Thank you, I would greatly appreciate it” he told her with sincerity as he walked her towards the door. She went to grab her jacket realizing that she had walked over with his and not her own, and that would mean she would have to walk back without one. Sensing her plight he grabbed his coat anyway. 

“Take it. I can’t have the beautiful woman next door freezing to death on my lawn” he said, the conversational olive branch in the replacement of the word ‘girl’ with ‘woman’. She accepted it graciously, allowing him to slide it along her arms. Before she could turn around he kissed the side of her cheek and she grew warm at the contact. 

“See you later?” she asked, finally growing timid once more. 

“I shall count the minutes Mon Amour…” he whispered as she looked back at him over her shoulder before she forced her gaze ahead and walked out of the Sallow house with her cheeks stained red. 

—————————————————

Since that night when Sebastian had admitted his feelings and promised to start regarding her as an adult, they had tread awkwardly around one another. One might think that after years of knowing each other, feeling comfortable in their connection and often being in shared spaces, that they would resume business as usual. To assume so would be an oversight. 

She found herself in a constant state of not knowing how to act around him. Sometimes he would be flirty, invading her space and spouting off verbal comments that made her blush madly. It often felt as if they were already a couple based on the way he held her hand longer than he should under tables or they sat side by side with her head on his shoulder. Touches and gazes lingered. Comments toeing on untoward. It would seem as if the tension would snap at any moment sometimes.

Sebastian found himself caught between conflicting worlds in his mind. On the one hand, he truly loved her and enjoyed her company. Every moment laughing together, conversing over books or memories warmed his heart. On the other hand he was finally starting to allow himself to imagine a less than wholesome side of her. Gone was his sweet, innocent mon Chou next door, and replaced was a beautiful temptress who’s hips swayed when she moved. He spent most of his time attempting to maintain propriety while also wanting to drag her out to the privacy of their willow and finally give into his desire of exploring just how much her body had changed. The overwhelming need to feel himself tightly knit within her opening while she shouted his name, kept him in the bath longer than normal as he became well acquainted with his right hand…

As frustrated as he was, he knew that they’d need to wait a bit longer, until her job was definite. That didn’t stop him from continually slipping in random jests attempting to learn more about her previous experiences. To her credit she had remained tight lipped and he knew at this rate it was more to tease him than due to any sort of prudence. 

The day before Christmas Anne fell extremely ill, resulting in a visit from her mother that went on for hours and she owled a potioneer to get additional supplies given the low quantity due to Anne’s frequent need. It was around sunset when the familiar redhead arrived, crates in tow to the y/l/n household. 

“Garreth?” She was surprised to see the man who had been a large part of her Hogwarts research project many years ago. 

“Oh wow… you really grew up gorgeous didn’t you?” Weasley said blushing madly as she stepped forward offering a light kiss to each cheek. It was a normal greeting for her to give, as she was French, but the sight made Sebastian’s blood boil over as he watched the pair from his sister’s bedside. 

“You are too kind Garreth, it’s been far too long” she said kindly, having somewhat lost contact with him a few years after she traveled to hogwarts. They briefly stayed connected but their friendship fizzled out with time. Regardless he had grown closer to her family, often supplying her mother as he traveled through about once a week delivering supplies. Her younger siblings seemed to adore him as the youngest came barreling in, hanging off the Ginger’s very strong arm as he laughed with her younger sister. Coming from a large family and being used to his siblings, Garreth adored children, her siblings being no exception. 

“I heard my aunt say you’re going to be starting in the fall as old Scribner's replacement. I suppose I will be seeing more of you..” he said mischievously and she quirked an eyebrow to ask why. 

“Both of the Sharps are taking a leave of absence since they have a baby due in July, so I’m taking over potions” he explained with a bright smile. 

“Oh that sounds wonderful! It will be so nice to have a familiar face around school!” She said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it before letting go to help move the supplies over to her mothers workstation. 

“Perhaps I could take you out for a drink sometime… catch up before the year…” he offered with a grin. 

“Please do, I am terrified my daughter here will become a spinster the way she consistently turns down the gentlemen at her school. Besides I would love grandchildren before I’m old and gray… can you imagine how precious they would be with all those freckles…” her mom teased out from the corner as Sebastian withheld the contents of his lunch. 

Absolutely not. There’s no circumstances in which he would allow Weasley of all people to swoop in on his woman. Besides if her mom wanted grandchildren with freckles he would happily provide them… 

“I uh-“ she said trying to form a polite rejection to his offer when Sebastian interrupted by standing and moving towards them. 

“Weasley, long time no see. Why don’t I help you, as there’s no need for any of these lovely ladies to be lifting a finger around here, yet you have the fairest woman in the room carrying nearly as much as you” Sebastian spoke, and while many could mistake his comment for humorous, she knew that the moment the two men got alone things had the potential to be ugly.

“Uh… sure Sallow… there’s just a bit more by the cart out there…” Garreth explained as they moved to head outside and she went to follow. Sebastian intercepted her, hands coming to rest on her forearms as he lightly held her from a respectable distance given their audience. 

“Why don’t you wait here mon chéri…no need for you to lift even one of these beautiful fingers. we’ve got this handled, right Garreth?” He asked without breaking his gaze from her, lifting her hand gently. She shuddered as he stared directly at her. 

“We do” Garreth squeaked out, clearly embarrassed and Sebastian paid him no mind as he very boldly leaned down, grabbing her by the waist and brushing his lips over her cheek before proudly stepping away leaving them all in shock. Lifting a hand she touched her face, still feeling the linger of his kiss there as the skin tingled. At first she didn’t react, stunned he would so unashamedly do such a thing in front of her family when he hadn’t even asked her to court properly. Of course Sebastian sallow would behave like a territorial brute. 

A small part of her felt very warm watching him leave, the ghost of his lips finally wearing off. To be manhandled that way, as he claimed her in front of another man … It was exhilarating. That was until her mother spoke. 

“Did Sallow just… well I can certainly say I never saw that coming” her mother spouted off with a laugh. 

“Why’s that?” She asked timidly. 

“I just have seen some of the women he previously… entertained… Let's just say Sebastian is a bit of a Tom cat… and the women he’s around are much more … I am just surprised since you’ve always been sweet on him and he paid you no mind. Not that I fully blame him…” her mother trailed off, alluding to the fact Sebastian had previously been with women more beautiful than herself. That shouldn’t be a shock, but to hear her mother assume that Sebastian wasn’t likely to be interested in her ever, stung. Even when he displayed his affection openly her mother still assumed she wasn’t good enough for the neighboring farm boy. 

Having heard enough of the conversation she fled upstairs to her loft, not wanting to be around them anymore. Realizing Sebastian did in fact have more experience with women even her mother thought were prettier, nearly brought tears to her eyes. The thought of facing down Garreth, a man who had always been nothing but respectful, after she was sure Sebastian had laid into the man in private… she didn’t want to think like that. 

Curling up on her bed she sighed, looking around the room. She saw the ceiling still enchanted from that night Sebastian had slept there following Anne’s curse. She saw the stack of letters on the desk and the flower he’d given her years ago. Sitting down she reached for the piece of parchment and quill. Before setting them back down. 

Her mother was likely right. 

Opening her window she looked over at the tree next to it, deciding that making a run for it was better than waiting around for her mother to scold her or Sebastian to come corner her when she felt vulnerable. Quietly slipping down the tree she cast a charm to sneak out of the hamlet and off in the direction of the beach. Going to the willow felt too exhaustive right now and she knew that likely Sebastian would look for her there first. As she made her to the quiet shores she took a seat on some rocks.  

Entranced in a crystal veil as the fallen angels from heaven descended upon her to their permanent damnation within her fiery depths. 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there watching the snowfall as tears streamed down her face. She also wasn’t sure at what point Sebastian sat next to her on the stone, his arms pulling her into his frame as she violently shook. 

“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have done something so openly affectionate in front of others like that. It was rude of me.” He told her, the guilt evident in his voice. 

She didn’t respond, unsure how to explain to him her feelings of inadequacy. He wouldn’t understand that she was not good enough for him, and that he had already done better than her, and likely would again in the future. This temporary phase he was experiencing likely was due to proximity and needing emotional support with Anne’s health. Perhaps she should consider the company of Garreth. The man was kind, light hearted, and had her mothers approval. They would both be in close quarters in the fall with work. They could truly be a decent match. He also was quite handsome with his freckled skin and long auburn hair. Albeit, not as handsome as Seb- No. 

When she still hadn’t responded, only lessening her tears for a moment Sebastian grew concerned he really had upset her with his actions. Removing her from his arms, he sought after her eyes for confirmation on the storm brewing within her mind. 

Lifting a hand to push the hair that had obstructed his view, he held her face in his large hands, forcing her to look at him. The wildness in her expression caught him off guard. “Talk to me Mon Ange… how can I make this right?” he asked her as she shook her head, trying to remove herself from his grasp as he continued to hold her. 

At his begging her eyes once again flooded with tears. The strength and domineering energy in his grasp juxtaposed with the softness in his voice brought her to a place that she didn’t quite understand. 

“What did I do to bring you to tears-” he started and something within her just snapped. 

“This is about what you refuse to do. You keep giving me false hope and then don’t act on your feelings, despite your candor a few nights ago. I sit there, every day, hoping it will have been long enough to meet your approval. You claim to know what is best for me, and that I need to wait. However it pains me to share proximity with the one I love, the one who loves me, and we both must repress those feelings. At what point do I get a say in all of this? And then, when you do act upon your feelings it is only as a result of another man showing interest in me. Your actions are territorial at best, brutish at worst. Not to mention, my mother’s so eloquent way of pointing out that I am much less than every woman you’ve entertained or brought back here in my absence. It makes me feel as if you are ashamed of me somehow, and that once you no longer need to be here to take care of Anne, you’ll be back to being Mr. Star Ambassador in France. It all feels so, so, suffocating, especially when you know how truly deep my affects are for you Sebastian. Loving you removes every trace of air from my lungs to the point it hurts.” She admits in a blubbering mess of tears and slight yelling as the sea roars beside them and the snow continues to fall, her outburst leaving him speechless. 

After a moment of not speaking she began to fully sob once more and he continued to hold her face in his hands, his own body shaking as he felt her tremors coursing within him as well. 

“Why am I not good enough for you? Why am I not enough for you to act upon the ways you claim to feel? And why does it hurt so much to know that there’s a chance I shall never be enough for you?” she asked him and the words tore through him more harshly than if she had slapped him.  Her feelings of inadequacy, when in fact it was his own that continued to plague their relationship nearly angered him. To hear that the girl woman felt less than, when he was the one who didn’t deserve her care…

“Stop.” He warned her, a slight threat buried in his exasperated tone. 

“Stop? Stop mentioning things for how they are? Stop bringing up that you only see me as a commodity, never once giving me the time of day until I grew the figure of a woman? Stop acknowledging I will never be enou-” She had countered his request with fire, almost aggressively as her emotions reached a breaking point, however Sebastian had heard enough of her diminishing herself and reacted equally in anger. 

“I said stop! You will always, and have always been my entire world. Even when I did not know it, you were there. After Uncle Solomon, everyone abandoned me except you. I have always loved you so, perhaps not always in the ways you needed me to, but I have. You are too good, too pure, too perfect. I am terrified that I will end up hurting you if I allow you to get too close to a wretched man like myself. That is my curse to bear, for the actions I have chosen. But don’t you ever insinuate that you are worthless to me, not when you -” he stopped shouting, voice cracking as a damn in which he’d been holding back for years finally broke. At his raised voice she had shrunk, not in fear, but in shock, however hearing his voice break caused her heart to leap. 

“Not when you are my sky of stars. You are my willow dancing in the breeze, strong, tall and beautiful. You are the light in the darkness that nearly consumed me.  You are the flash of blue in my world of green, harmonizing the way that the sea meets the shore or the sky kisses the earth. You are the bookkeeper in the library of my life, knowing me in ways that no one has or ever will.  You are the shard that I keep so close to my heart, since you are the one in which it wholly belongs…” he said, voice laced with nothing but pure, arden love as he lifted her hand to his chest. 

“Do you feel that? Do you feel the way it beats for you? How it races faster than a Clydesdale across the highlands? You are at the precipice of my entire being. How could such a broken man like myself not irrevocably love such a woman? But someone so wonderful like you, wanting me? That feels utterly impossible.” he spoke sadly as he leaned in, lips once again only a breath away from her own, as he looked slightly past her. 

“You are the snow on this god forsaken beach. Just breaking down every wall within me without a sound…” he whispered as a single tear fell from the corner of his dark eye and rolled down his face. “I… fuck… come here…” he whispered as she was rendered speechless and he didn’t let the silence linger for long as he pulled her chin closer to his with a hand, his lips harshly pressing to her own as she finally got a taste of him. 

The first thing she noticed, after the initial shock wore off, is that his lips were much softer than she anticipated they would be. After years of staring at the plush, pillowy lips he had, her mind had always created expectations of what they would feel like against her own. Almost as if on instinct, she brought her hands up, curling her fingers into the soft waves at the nap of his neck, holding him closer to her as he continued to kiss her feverantly. 

Sebastian was almost stunned when he felt her tongue tracing over his bottom lip, requesting the entrance to his mouth that she so desperately desired, groaning out when their tongues met one another. The way the appendage danced alongside his own while they continued to grasp, pull and press against one another brought forth a wave of arousal more intense than one he’d ever experienced before.  She was almost stunned at how incredible she was at this…

Breaking away breathlessly, he whispered out “I forgot you were french…” he said, referring to the intense kissing he’d only experienced frequently and quickly with the women in Paris. At his comment he chuckled, leading her to anticipate he would keep talking, but like a starved man, he dived back in and resumed kissing her with more fire than before, immediately forcing his tongue back into a battle with hers. 

The way his hands roamed her body, as if he knew every dimple, every freckle, every curve, every scar before he had even began to touch her, left her feeling breathless. He commanded her body’s natural reaction simply with his expert hands and even more adept lips, trailing away from her mouth and pressing kisses to her neck and collarbone while she melted into him. 

Sebastian’s hands grasp at her thighs, lifting her from sitting on the stone next to him, to pull her over him, gently setting the girl on his lap as he tipped her neck to more firmly meet his mouth. He was almost surprised when she immediately began to rock back and forth in his lap, shocked that she was already so comfortable with physical relations, but then again she had told him she wasn’t a blushing virgin anymore… 

She too shouldn’t have been surprised when she felt him growing more and more aroused underneath her clothed core, as she continued gently rocking on his lap. The heat that consumed the both of them, brought forth a rosy hew to their complexions, specifically Sebastian by igniting the constellations across his cheeks and forehead into a wine stained nebula. 

Pulling away she rested her forehead against his own, eyes searching his to ground the both of them back in reality. Reality? Reality. Yes. Reality. A place she currently existed, perched atop his lap as his hands were planted along her hip and the side of her neck. A reality in which she could still taste him upon her lips. Where she could still feel his uneven breath upon her face, as the small cloud broke through the freezing cold winds rushing off the sea. A reality where she pulled back to see just how much snow had collected in his unkempt chocolate brown locks, even more dishevled than normal considering the way she had run her fingers through it.  The wild look he continued to wear as the result of their osculation.  His dark eyes piercing her own, greedily drinking her appearance as well. He looked so much more handsome when he had that feral look in his eyes, she couldn’t help but think.

She also couldn’t help but allow a small smirk to work itself onto the corners of her swollen lips, prideful to the fact that she had caused him to look in such a manor. It had all been a culmination of him kissing her. 

“Wow…” he said dreamily after a moment, the wind still nipping at their cheeks and the snow continuing to fall around them. A single flake fell between the nearly non existent space between them, catching in his long eyelashes as she gazed upon the man. 

“That was…” she tried to articulate, words dying upon her lips as she struggled to put into words the way he made her stomach drop, her heart soar and her mind empty. Not to mention, the way her core throbbed with need between them… or perhaps that was sebastian throbbing beneath her… she couldn’t be quite sure. 

She giggled out at her frustration, and he joined in not long after she started, as the two worked their small chuckles into full laughter. At hearing the melodic sound leaving her blushed lips, Sebastian pulled her in closer, resting his face in the slightly chilled crook of her neck and the side of his head against her own. She responded by wrapping tighter around him, her arms going around to the space under his worn leather coat. 

“You truly have no idea how long I have wanted to do that” he admitted after a moment, pulling back slightly, but not before taking a deep inhale of her perfume.

“I think I do know” she countered with a raised eyebrow, referring to the several almost kisses that he’d stolen previously, not to mention her own desires to do so long before he had those thoughts of his own. 

At this he laughed again, the hearty noise filling the space between them as his heart continued to pound in his chest. Never in all his life had he felt so happy and at peace than to be here with her, making jokes after confirming the love the two shared. To be completely content within the company of one another, even after all this time, felt like something more powerful than even the strongest magic he could conjur. 

“My Mon Chou…” he whispered with a boyish grin, eyes once again meeting hers as his tone softened, alluding to a possibility he expected to wake up any moment. It rivaled one of a small child, experiencing something wonderful for the first time, as they would speak with awestruck wonder. 

“Mon garçon de ferme…” she countered as his smile widened enough to show his teeth. She remembered he often wouldn’t smile so brightly, given he was admittedly self conscious about how his teeth looked and how awkward he appeared when his nostrils flared and his large teeth became unobstructed in a smile. While she always argued this line of thought to be grossly overexaggerated on his part, she knew that he only allowed himself to smile like this when he was truly happy. The fact he did so now, warming her heart despite the freezing chill. 

Almost as if reminded of the cold, she shuddered against him as he too became aware their chosen location wasn’t ideal given the strong winds off the ocean made for bone chilling air. 

“I suppose I should’ve been more of a gentleman and not have poured the fullest of my affections onto the woman I love dearly when it was this terribly cold and uncomfortable outside” he admitted regretfully as he brushed his snow damp fringe off his forehead. 

“I would not alter a thing about this moment” she said sharply, laying her head on his shoulder, as her body caved into his, and she relaxed in his arms. She remained on his lap for the time being, legs pushed to one side instead of the way they had previously been settled on both sides of his waist. 

“So you wouldn’t have chosen a more romantic spot if given the option?” he asked playfully, resting his head atop hers as he brought his hand down to examine hers. He was taken aback at how dainty her hands still looked after the many years of abuse from her chores, wand holding and other activities. Instead it sat within his calloused grip, her fingers thin and long, and the skin so incredibly soft to the touch it rivaled rose petals. 

“I wouldn’t change a thing” she said blissfully, closing her eyes and allowing herself to be grounded within the moment. He followed her lead, watching the faint outline of the waves crash along the shore through the more intensly falling snow. 

“Me either” he admitted, allowing the comforting peace the moment brought to counter the raging emotions within him. She sat here, on his lap no less, and for the first time they had indulged in and thrown caution to the wind. After years of falling in love, he finally decided that this woman, this lovely, wonderful, incredible woman was worth the fear of messing up. That she was no longer an emotion to repress, but one to feel in it’s fullest extent. Finally, there was no hiding it. 

“The woman you love dearly?” she asked mischieviously after a moment, lifting her head from his shoulder to gaze up at him, her brilliant eyes sparkling with reflections of falling snow. 

“Among other things, but yes” he admitted, finally not finding the words frightening to say out loud. 

“Such as?” Her tone was hopeful, and he was not in the business of denying her anymore moving forward. He vowed then and there, that she would never suffer as a result of his repressed thoughts or emotions. “My best friend… my favorite confidant… the most beautiful witch I’ve ever known… the love of my life…” he whispered, once again pressing his lips to hers as they kissed along the snow covered beach.

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow/reader #sebastian sallow x reader #fluff #sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader #hogwarts legacy fandom #anne sallow #ominis gaunt #hogwarts legacy sebastian #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian x reader #farm boy sebastian sallow #farmer sebastian sallow

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The horrifying tale of a blockchain-based virtual sweatshop

In 2004, my wife came home from the Game Developers Conference with a wild story. A presenter there claimed that he had set up a sweatshop on the US/Mexican border where he paid low-wage workers to do repetitive tasks in Everquest to amass virtual gold, which was sold on Ebay to lazier, richer players

The presenter was a well-known bullshitter and people were skeptical at the time, but my imagination was fired. I sat down at my keyboard and wrote “Anda’s Game,” a story about “gold farmers” who form an in-game, transnational trade-union under their bosses’ noses:

https://www.salon.com/2004/11/15/andas_game/

“Anda’s Game” was a surprise hit. It got reprinted in the year’s Best American Short Stories, won a bunch of awards, and Jen Wang and Firstsecond turned it into the NYT bestselling graphic novel “In Real Life”:

https://firstsecondbooks.com/books/new-book-in-real-life-by-cory-doctorow-and-jen-wang/

Then, in 2010, I adapted the story into For the Win, a YA novel about gold farming and global trade unions (led by the Industrial Workers of the World Wide Web, AKA IWWW, AKA Webblies):

https://craphound.com/category/ftw/

There’s an old cyberpunk writers’ joke that “cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion.” Alas, my parable-like stories about how digital technology enables the creation of new, high-tech sweatshops that arbitrage weak labor protections in the global south to worsen working conditions everywhere embodied the punchline to that cyberpunk joke. Over and over, these stories became touchstones for all kinds of global, digital labor exploitation and global, digital labor solidarity.

But sometimes, the stories don’t merely analogize to describe current situations — they end up very on-the-nose. Nowhere is that more true than with the blockchain-based, play-to-earn, NFT-infected gaming world, whose standard-bearer is the scandal-haunted Axie Infinity.

This week, my mentions have been full of “Don’t create the Torment Nexus” jokes referencing Neirin Gray Desai’s outstanding Rest of World story on the rise and implosion of the “play-to-earn” Minecraft/blockchain game Critterz:

https://restofworld.org/2022/minecraft-nft-ban-critterz/

Critterz was yet another one of those blockchain games, but they made a fatal mistake: they built their virtual sweatshop on Minecraft, whose parent company, Mojang (a subsidiary of Microsoft), banned NFT integration, stating: “blockchain technologies are not permitted to be integrated inside our Minecraft client and server applications nor may they be utilized to create NFTs associated with any in-game content, including worlds, skins, personal items, or other mods.”

Very quickly, the in-game money issued by Critterz tanked, and players — both the poor people who actually played the game, and the rich people who bought the treasures they earned from them — ran for the exits.

Even without Minecraft’s ban on NFTs, play-to-earn is in serious trouble. As the sector seeks a new lifeline, some wild ideas are emerging, straight out of the Torment Nexus. For example, Desai talked to Mikhai Kossar, who consults on NFT games. Kossar proposed that the future of play-to-earn might be poor people pretending to be non-player characters to give richness to the in-game experience of wealthy people. They could “just populate the world, maybe do a random job or just walk back and forth, fishing, telling stories, a shopkeeper, anything is really possible.”

There’s another tech joke, that “AI” stands for “Absent Indians” — the gag being that the “AIs” you interact with in the world are actually low-waged Indian workers pretending to be bots.

Once again — and I honestly can’t believe I have to say this — that joke is a warning, not a suggestion.

Image: Jen Wang (modified) Critterz (modified)

[Image ID: A panel from the graphic novel 'In Real Life' in which Anda and Raymond are having a union organizing talk; the background of the panel has been replaced with a screengrab from the Critterz Minecraft world.]

#pluralistic

[hanmi-xo]

CHAPTER 11: "Tell Me"

| My Happiness | Chapter List |

Previous | Next ------------------

I sat at the the living room with my notes scattered across the soban. I had an upcoming exam tomorrow, and I have been studying since I got home.

[Soban - Korean short tray table]

I can hear Suyeong on the phone with her friends in the kitchen while Sujun played video games in our room. Though our parents aren't around often, it was times like these that I did enjoy. We didn't have to hear them talk about money or complain about my siblings and I. We could be ourselves without them breathing down our necks.

They always hogged the living room, and they would often smoke. The scent would be strong after they leave the house. It was always annoyed to deal with, and I hated the smell of it. I always left the window open so we would have some air.

"Unnie! Did your boss say we can work at the restaurant!?" I can hear Suyeong call out to me.

I turned around to look at her. She was holding her phone up so the mic would be near her lips. In another hand she was holding metal chopstick. I want to assume her friends were asking about the possible job offer she was getting.

"Junhui told me that Mister Choi should be contacting me about it before the end of next week since he's considering it. Sujun just needs his work permit," I tell her.

I watched as her face narrowed before her eyes went to our bedroom door. We could hear Sujun yelling about needing heals towards his friends who probably were on his headset.

"What a dumbass," she says before talking towards her friend. "Minha, I think I'll get the job, but my dumb bother needs his work permit."

She turned back around while she continued her conversation with her friend. I looked back at my notes and textbook that laid in front of me. I thought back about the two boys that randomly appeared at the restaurant.

They both seemed more quiet than usual, but their friend on the other hand was very friendly and more enthusiastic than Chan. It was strange. I want to believe that they're probably tired and probably were surprised seeing me.

Then again, I wouldn't know.

I feel kind of bad not telling them about my job, but then again, a conversation about it never came up.

I don't even know if we're friends anyways.

It would be weird if I asked them. I'll just leave things be, I guess.

I don't want to think about it anymore. I already have an exam that I almost forgot about.

I should worry more about school than those two boys.

~

I sat in the lecture hall with tired eyes. I ended up sleeping at 3am and waking up at 6am to get ready for school. I would have pulled an all nighter, but I knew some sleep would be better than none.

"Hey, are you okay, Subin?" Chan asked me. He had a worried expression.

He came up to me with a hooded denim jacket before sitting next to me. He seemed like his usual self. I greeted him with a forced smile. I didn't want him to see me tired.

"I'm good," I lied.

He stared at me with brows low.

"Don't worry about it," I say. "I'm fine."

I didn't need him worrying about me. It'll only make me feel bad.

"Are you sure?" His words were soft as his expression.

I nodded my head while I tried to keep my eyes awake. "Yeah."

He hummed as though he'll set aside his worries towards me. I turned away so I can look back at my notes before our professor arrives.

Once I finish my exam for the next class, I'll be able to sleep. I just need to stay awake a little longer.

I closed my eyes to let them rest for a moment. I just need to get through class.

~

As I walked into outside towards the library, I saw Hansol in a distance. We locked eyes for a split second but it was like he didn't see me.

He began to walk a different direction like he was in a hurry. It was odd since he usually bothers me so he can accompany me to the library.

I guess from the way he's walking, he probably had to do something. Oh well, that just meant I'll actually have some me time. More study time and less noise.

I don't wanna deal with Hansol. He'll probably just bother me because he'll think it's funny or something.

I'll probably just see him around some other time.

~

I felt a rush of anxiety hit me. I don't know if I did well in the exam since there were questions that weren't on the study pack.

Calculus 1 shouldn't have to be this hard, but here I was struggling.

I walked out of the lecture hall with so much defeat. If I didn't pass the exam I knew how badly it would affect my grade.

I didn't want to think too much about it, but I couldn't help but feel like I already lost.

"Subin!" I heard Chan's voice grow closer to me.

I turned around and found myself outside. The sky has grown dark and I felt a rush of wind hit me.

When did I get out here?

I looked at Chan who was behind me. He looked a bit out of breath like he was trying to catch up to me. How long was he following me?

Chan had his hood on and he seemed somewhat surprised and concerned. Was he calling my name earlier?

I don't remember.

"Oh... sorry I didn't hear you," I apologize. My voice came out rather weak.

He lowered his brows at me. "I know I shouldn't meddle, but if there's something bothering you- you can always talk to me."

He sounded stern. He was acting as if I was going to die. He must be thinking I'm going through a terrible crisis, but little did he know it was just an exam.

Plus a bit of lack of sleep.

I felt a tickling feeling inside me. I couldn't help but smile from how worried he looked.

I wanted to tell him that everything was okay, but it's obvious by now that he can see though my lie. Like who am I kidding? It felt like something swallowed me and spat me out.

"I just did an exam," I mutter.

I didn't like how he was worried, but it also made me happy seeing how he is concerned about me.

His eyes grew wide. "An exam?"

"Yeah." I pulled my hood over my head. I didn't like how the wind kept messing with my hair. Plus, my cheeks felt so cold. I forgot to bring a mask. "The grades are supposed to come in next month since my professor will be grading them over the weekend."

"Ah," he said. It was like realization hit him. He smiled in relief without losing eye contact with me. "I'm sure you did fine. You did study right? It's not the end of the world."

I felt myself grow soft. He was trying to lighten the mood. I hid the smile that was forming on my lips and avoided his eyes. He came to my side and began to walk down the pavement. I knew where he might be heading and I followed after him.

I watched as he put his black face mask on. It was strange how he looked different without it. I know I shouldn't be admiring his features, but I couldn't help it.

He seemed different today. I'm not sure what it is, but it wasn't bad nor was it good. It was like he's been thinking of something, but I couldn't tell.

"Chan," I called out to him.

He hummed in response before looking back at me.

"You don't have to worry about me," I tell him.

His brows narrowed towards me. I looked ahead to avoid his sharp eyes.

"It makes me feel bad..." I half whisper.

It was nice, but it also wasn't. Chan always made me feel good inside but whenever I'm near him, it felt like I was taking that smile away from him. I didn't like it.

"Let... let me worry..."

I turned around to look at him. Did I hear that correctly?

He was looking ahead, but I couldn't see his face. Was he also avoiding my eyes like how I was with him?

"Chan," I called out to him. My eyes never left his figure.

He hesitantly looked over at me. His eyes glistened from the lamp posts. It was like his eyes showed sincerity.

I stared at those orbs. His eyes were always smiling or worried with me, but these were the few times they were different.

It was like that time in the library when he gave me a napkin.

I felt my gut flutter. The things he does to me. I don't know how he does it. He's just too... pure.

He stopped walking as so did I.

"Why?" I ask him.

I wanted to know. Does he worry about me because he knew me since we were little? Or was it because he worried like he did with everyone else?

Was Hansol telling me the truth about Chan? Does Chan actually like me?

Are we even friends?

A part of me wish I didn't ask him, but I also wanted to know.

Chan's eyes looked deeply into mine before wavering away. He looked down. He seemed to be looking for the right words to say.

"Because..." he says. His soft came out almost a whisper.

"Because?" I repeated after him.

His eyes wandered for a second before looking back into mine. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

It was like he was lost for words. He seemed nervous and anxious as I was.

What was he going to say? Is he scared of how I may react?

Are we not friends after all...

I felt my heart begin to hurt. Maybe I shouldn't have asked. Maybe he just saw me like he did with every other person he met before. We never did talk before college.

So why would he suddenly care now?

He has plenty of friends. So why bother with me?

"Never mind," I mutter.

I turned around with low eyes. I couldn't look at him. Not with the way I was feeling. I was a fool to think someone like him would actually like me.

Hansol, did you lie to me? Was this some sort of sick joke?

Memories of middle school flashed before me. Was this all for the moment? Was this all a lie?

I felt my forearm get tugged. I turned around to look at the culprit.

Chan stood behind me with narrow brows. Never have I seen this expression on him before. He looked scared, nervous, but also lost.

"Subin," he says my name. His voice was stern yet soft.

I stared at him- waiting for what he has to say. His grip remained on my forearm. He didn't want me to go.

"I-" he said. His eyes wavered for a moment.

I felt my heart begin to shake. It was like I was going to explode from anxiety. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes before look at me. He was trying to gain courage.

"I like you."

• • •

Previous | Next

#seventeen fanfic #svt fanfic #svt ff #seventeen ff #seventeen dino #svt dino #oc #romance #fluff #insecurity #college au #fanfic #dino fanfic

[alak-tool-the-dorkblade]

Whenever I've heard people talk about having a moment of clarity, I always imagined it as sort of fanfic-style, with eyes widening and a small 'oh' of understanding.

A few weeks ago, I had my moment of clarity, not for the first time either, but this time it really sank in, and it was nothing like fanfiction. It was ugly; I was crying and trying to forget what I had realized because it meant that I was going to have to upend my life, that I was going to have to feel emotions I hate, and that I would have to hurt the ones I love.

I've spent the last month pretending it didn't happen, but it's been bubbling underneath the surface, throwing me into disordered thinking of self-loathing and suicidal ideation, where it was literally all I could think about for days on end. I haven't been able to go on walks, bike rides, or anything that leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I've self-medicated with low-dosage edibles, but that was just slapping a Band-Aid on an open wound.

It came to a head last night after two straight days of suicidal ideation. I opened the door to the possibility of returning to my home country, and I don't think I've ever felt so relieved.

I know that I'm going to have to deal with adversity, that I'm going to have to do a lot of hard work to get myself back to where I was before I moved.

The last time I had one of these 'realizations' was near the end of 2017, and it came with an emotional breakdown as well.

In early 2018, I went home for a month, and I felt so alone. I was curled up on my brother's couch, crying, and missing everyone I had left in California.

I swore that I wouldn't leave again, that I would do my best to always stay in California, where I was comfortable and content.

I think one of the differences between now and then is that I am more emotionally mature. Another difference is that I am not in constant agony from having my nerves compressed between two discs. The pain will still show up, and I need to take breaks, but it isn't as bad as it used to be, which I felt made me dependent on my Californian family

I'm going to visit my brother in December and see if that feeling comes back because no matter where you go, there you are.

Am I what is making myself miserable, or has it been my situation?That I've been trapped in a dead-end job with no room for advancement? My visa doesn't permit me to go to school (the cost of post-secondary education in the US doesn't allow it either); it doesn't permit me to apply for all sorts of benefits, nor does it allow me to apply for a green card.

I've been static for the last decade. I've certainly had emotional growth, but nothing else. I haven't been able to step forward or backward. I can move laterally, but I can't grow in any way (except in weight).

It's only been a day, but I've felt so much lighter. I've been thinking about all the things I can do back in Canada: go to the doctor and get my spine looked at, have a place to myself, enjoy the cold and snow, go to school, and start a new career path. I feel like I am regaining control.

I'm afraid I'll end up alone in the dark, crying for my California family, because I do love them, but I can't just tread water anymore; I need to swim towards the shore.

P.T. Barnum said that comfort is the enemy of progress, and he's right. I've been comfortable and content. I've been lazy. I've been happy to do nothing, except I don't think I've actually been happy. I've enjoyed not working my tail off for a boss that doesn't appreciate me and pays me a pittance, but now it's time to be responsible again. I need to see my family, visit my grandmother before I no longer can, get back into shape, and make a change. I want to help and advocate for people; I want to talk to whatever MP I will have and try to make a positive change somehow. I'm ready to be uncomfortable again.

When I had my moment of clarity last month, I couldn't imagine ever feeling relieved or excited; I thought I would only be scared.

I cannot emphasize just how chilling it is to have a moment of clarity; it feels like jumping into a frozen lake. There's the initial shock as it hits you, but then you're left shivering and trying to recover from the shock.

I hope I won't have another moment of clarity once I've moved back.

#personal #journal entry #cw suicide mention #cw drug use mention

[justsokaela]

Slow Saturdays…

I’m left work early during my lunch yesterday because I was feeling so shitty. I only missed out on 2.25 hours, and it was so slow being a Friday during Spring Break, and half our crews took the week off, so it’s not like I missed anything important.

I laid down, didn’t really sleep though. I would close my eyes, play on my phone, make my headache worse and close my eyes some more, pet my dog…

My boyfriend still came up, and he offered to pick up food on the way in, so he brought me some chicken pasta and vegetable soup from the local Italian restaurant near my parents’ house. They messed up his buffalo chicken wrap order though, which made me feel guilty. So I warmed up some of the leftover Italian Wedding soup my dad had recently made too many tubs worth of, and sent him home today with his leftovers and the rest of the soup from that Tub.

I took a short nap after he left, window shopping online for nothing in particular, but thinking abour how I’ll need to update my wardrobe and secure pieces appropriate and comfortable for me to work in and still feel like I’m expressing my whimsical weird self…next paycheck, I’ll put down on a couple items from the thrift store. Thrifting is better anyways!

I discussed my career plans with my parents, about how I am hesitant to accept a job in a law firm that I might get offered as a legal assistant, which is great for me because:

1) I have a paralegal certificate, I should use it.

2) my ultimate goal is to be a law librarian at a university law school someday - law firm experience is obviously useful for this.

3) it pays 3$ more per hour than my current job

4) Still has good benefits

5) is a large firm in our region that covers a lot of different branches of law, which is good for building a well-rounded set of skills in the position

6) after a few months, a hybrid remote schedule is possible, which is pretty cool

7) working in a firm can help build connections and network for my future law school plans

On the other hand:

1) my current job has incredibly good work-life balance. Following an academic calendar gives us more breaks or slow-periods, I work in administration so there are few people I have to “answer” to and my boss is really nice and cares about us, and doesn’t let people treat us like crap. I have lots of PTO and union-protection.

2) my job is pretty easy, but still offers me room for growth, i’ve been assigned to train on some new tasks involving accounts receivable and doing the invoices, which is some really valuable skills

3) my job being pretty easy, it also has a lot of downtime - I’m not constantly being micromanaged or expected to fill every second of my day with “work.” I have room to learn new things - like build my excel skills- doodle, goof around on Tumblr or Pinterest, organize my life, write, read, study, and even make my grocery list, and I still have plenty of room and mental energy to complete all my daily tasks and assignments.

4) my dog as an ESA is permitted to come to work with me everyday. This means that I get the comfort and security of his presence but also he isnt left alone all day. We go for walks during breaks and lunch, which is beneficial for me too getting outside and not sitting in my chair constantly, and everyone at work loves him! He’s my best friend and I love spending my days with him like this. I am not sure he would be welcome at a busy firm.

5) the law firm is 35 minutes away from home, which means more time spent driving in traffic on the shittiest highway ever and more mileage on my car, and more gas costs

6) the law firm requires billed hours 40-50 per week, and is very busy and intense

I talked about my concerns like I mentioned above with my boyfriend and he thinks it’s a good idea for me take the firm job - because getting experience is really useful, and it will help me decide if law is what I really want to do or not. However, if I take that job and it turns out I hate it and don’t want to work in a law firm after all, then I will be either stuck working in a job and environment that makes me miserable or overwhelms me, or I’m forced to quit and look for a new job all over again.

While I think he makes good points - I think it’s wiser for me to stay where I am, stabilize myself and learn as much as I can, and really utilize all the free time and mental energy I have in a safe and stable work environment -albeit barely manageable income- and put it towards finishing my Masters in Library Information Sciences online first. And even though I need a second source of reliable income, I think it will be manageable BECAUSE I have a less-stressful job.

So I think I will cancel the interview and just keep doing what I’m doing. Stop looking for the potentially next better thing and let myself take root and grow for a bit. I’m not ready to be re-planted just yet…

#career #job dilemmas #my future #trying to do what’s best for me

[mercanstalks]

How to Determine if Payroll Outsourcing is Right for You?

Are you looking for the top global payroll outsourcing companies in UK? Then this is the right place. For some organizations, payroll can be one of the more intricate capabilities inside the association. Between guaranteeing consistency with charge regulations and guarding touchy worker information, you might find that overseeing payroll in-house is turning out to be seriously difficult — and consuming a greater amount of your assets.

Luckily, outsider payroll suppliers can expect those obligations for you. The extent of administrations accessible in the commercial center keeps on developing to fulfill the needs of the present bosses and the assumptions for their representatives. The way to pursue a choice is to understand the extent of payroll administrations — and how they line up with your association's necessities. In this aide, we'll analyze how to settle on that decision by investigating all that you want to realize about current payroll administrations.

How to understand Your Payroll Needs

On the off chance that your business has been dealing with payroll in-house, you might be searching for ways of advancing your cycles and leisure time for different needs. Outsourcing payroll administrations can assist with facilitating that weight. To start with, how about we explain the meaning of the term.

What are uk payroll service providers? Corporate payroll administrations are presented by an outsider supplier that regulates and deals with the regulatory and consistency undertakings related to payroll. For instance, you might pick a merchant to just deal with payroll and deal with charge filings. On the other hand, you can pick to re-appropriate the capability completely.

For what reason does my organization require payroll administration?

Payroll alludes to the interaction by which representatives accept their wages through a few key stages, including:

Working out wages and extra time

Overseeing derivations and exceptions

Paying workers

Giving paystubs

Documenting and detailing charge savings

Keeping up with records

6 Reasons You Might Need Payroll Services

Regardless of the size of your business, outsourcing payroll capabilities might be a decent answer for your organization. Is this approach appropriate for you? We should figure it out. The following are a couple of reasons a few organizations select to reevaluate payroll.

1 Increase Master Assessment Backing

Did you realize you can confront possible fines for inappropriately working out charge commitments or not putting aside the installments on time? For instance, you'll suffer a 10% consequence for stores made at least 16 days late. 

It's normal for private companies to bring about charge punishments because of missed payroll cutoff times. Payroll suppliers utilize online programming that robotizes charge estimations, saved portions, and filings and guarantees precision and practicality. Moreover, the merchant will be liable for any punishments you endure given their missteps.

2 Save money on Essential Assets

Running payroll inside requires devoted assets, including time and staff. As indicated by a QuickBooks study, entrepreneurs burn through four hours and 52 minutes of computing, recording, and paying payroll burdens each payroll interval. 

At the point when you cooperate with a reevaluated payroll supplier, they'll deal with all every day, week-by-week, and month-to-month errands engaged with paying your representatives and staying aware of charges, liberating you and your staff to zero in on income-producing capabilities to situate your development organization.

3 Access Consistence Help When You Want It

Ensuring that your business is agreeable with government and state wage/hour regulations can overpower. For instance, when you oversee payroll, you want to follow the prerequisites concerning:

Pay recurrence

The lowest pay permitted by law and additional time

Techniques for pay

Payroll charges

Paystubs

Recordkeeping

Every one of these payroll prerequisites conveys the gamble of punishments for resistance. On the off chance that you move to a payroll supplier, nonetheless, they'll direct you through lawful necessities to guarantee you get payroll right. With a consistency master in control, you will not need to invest the energy and work to keep steady over every one of the guidelines yourself.

4 Future-Confirmation Your Payroll Activities

Payroll merchants can give as the need might arise in each part of the labor force of the executives. That intends that as you develop payroll companies in UK, you can consolidate far-reaching and coordinated payroll, HR, advantages, and consistency support across the board place.

5 Upgrade Security for Your Business

Outsourcing payroll can relieve the risk of coincidentally uncovering delicate representative data or succumbing to phishing assaults. Payroll sellers offer assurance to forestall delicate data spills by limiting your information to just an approved workforce. They commonly use firewalls, DNS sifting, phishing, spam, and infection avoidance innovation.

6 Increment Representative Fulfillment

Erroneous estimations on checks or late installments can baffle representatives and adversely influence maintenance. Only payroll service providers uk can cause 49% of workers to begin work hunting. With re-appropriated payroll administrations, you'll reliably pay workers precisely and on time through the seller's robotized processes.

Conclusion

What is a representative payroll gateway? Worker self-administration (ESS) entrances are electronic instruments through which representatives can get to important data and manage specific exchanges from a focal web-based webpage or entryway. They can make it quicker and more straightforward for representatives to finish specific activities themselves as opposed to reaching you or your HR staff.

Browse More:

Top 5 Reasons To Outsource payroll - 2023

How Global Payroll Solutions Can Benefit Your Business

Pros and cons of payroll outsourcing

#global payroll outsourcing companies #uk payroll service providers #payroll service providers uk #payroll companies in UK

[irvinenewshq]

Take it from an Instacart driver watching the employee-or-contractor debate: App-based staff need the pliability

Think about with the ability to work with an organization you select, you rent, and also you earn cash with as a result of they be just right for you. As a substitute of conforming to a inflexible 9-5 schedule, you may select how, when, and with whom you earn. That’s precisely what I can do as an app-based employee. Once I’m incomes with Instacart and Uber, I’m my very own boss, and I’m pleased with the talent, enthusiasm, and experience I carry to my work. For years, the earnings I earned all through my profession in building work has supported my household. I like my job, and we all the time have sufficient for on a regular basis payments. However throughout the pandemic, objectives like paying down debt or taking my household on trip grew additional out of attain. I knew I needed to earn additional earnings to deal with these objectives however getting a second full-time job was out of the query. Building work hours can fluctuate dramatically, and it isn’t potential to work two jobs with set shifts that might possible battle. On the similar time, I don’t need to miss out on essential life moments with my household.  That’s why current information from our nation’s capital was upsetting: a authorities company proposal might make unbiased work tougher, undercutting the liberty and suppleness I get pleasure from right this moment—the important thing causes hundreds of thousands like me joined the app-based financial system.  App-based platforms should compete for you—on your companies—and you’ve got the liberty and suppleness to decide on who you need to earn with and when. You get to be your personal boss.   Turning to app-based work with Instacart and Uber has meant additional earnings on my phrases and realizing my monetary objectives for my household. As an app-based employee, I handcraft my very own schedule, various my hours week by week, so I can earn additional earnings with out having to overlook a dance recital or an enormous sport. The flexibleness provided by this work permits me to construct in direction of my long-term objectives and be financially unbiased, giving me company and management over my very own future.  Not solely does this work assist our household’s on a regular basis wants, however alternatives to earn with corporations like Instacart and Uber present the additional earnings wanted to make the unattainable potential. As a household of 4, the dream of vacationing at locations like Disney World all the time appeared far-off, however the additional earnings I introduced residence has allowed me to take my fiancé, daughter, and son to Disney World this yr for the primary time. I used to be capable of pay for our journey in full with out incurring debt and placing added stress on our funds—an exquisite feeling for anybody with younger children.  From managing rising prices day-to-day to with the ability to take the quintessential American dream household trip, app-based work works for me, and for greater than 23 million Individuals who’re present or current app-based staff.  We need to be our personal boss, to have the pliability to earn additional earnings on our phrases, and to stability household wants. It’s essential for policymakers to know why we’re flocking to this work—flexibility helps stability life and incomes alternatives in a means that conventional employment alone by no means might, and it have to be protected.  Roman Juela is an Instacart and Uber Eats driver from Queens, New York. The opinions expressed in Fortune.com commentary items are solely the views of their authors and don’t essentially replicate the opinions and beliefs of Fortune. Join the Fortune Options e-mail record so that you don’t miss our largest options, unique interviews, and investigations. Originally published at Irvine News HQ

#Irvine News HQ

[sonalibatt]

Why to Consider this Aratt Cityscapes Villa Review?

The locale in Bangalore are making with such an overabundance of speed that once in a while you see new builders watching out, building one or various propertys of apartments, cushions and estates, or selling private plots, etc.

The market is unreasonably full to the point that securing the ideal architects and right endeavor opportunity is troublesome. Boundless architects are not upheld or permitted by the public power experts to start improvement. Anyway get it going, they sell properties, get from them, and starting there evaporate, keeping away from the buyers decimated which they barely climb with respect to.

I had some information on these things as I am a news buff and I keep eyes on the close by and public business news. I have been working for quite a while and near the beginning of this continuous year, I bought a townhouse in one of the known propertys in the city. This attempt is named Aratt Cityscapes Bangalore and it is made by Aratt Builders. I'm content concerning respects to the purchase and I am one of those lucky people who put assets into the best land a possible entryway at the best time.

I'm making this Aratt Cityscapes Villa Review to help different people who could get sorted out in land swindles. This Aratt Cityscapes Reviews is to face the challenge of buyers or land buffs through my purchase outing and help them with perceiving how it consistently works.

Thusly, last year in the hour of September, I started looking for a level or a space open to be bought in and around Bangalore. As I work in the city in an alliance, I wished to get settled here.

I told my close by associates, neighbors, and office people about my objectives and alluded to them to share their understanding in regards to this present circumstance. In the mean time, I was searching for reliable errands on the web too. During my requesting, I ran over various Aratt Cityscapes Review, yet I wouldn't settle down on one endeavor out of the blue early. I really take a gander at various new developments, I traded words with various monetary patrons, I visited different districts, right now nothing transmitted an impression of being ideal for myself especially like my lifestyle. During a comparative time, I lurched on one Aratt Builders Reviews Bangalore examining the unbelievable errand section entrance, open apartments, rich vegetation in the enveloping, sports workplaces, and that is just a short glance at something greater.

This was adequate for me to go with the central choice and plan a strategy. The following week, I talked with the property boss, and the accomplices, they helped me with watching out for every one of my solicitations, requests, and questions. They informed me about the purchasing cycle, finance support from known banks, smooth improvement of reports, and how straightforwardness is stayed aware of through the joint effort. I was shocked and ensured with the eventual result of orchestrating a site visit, which I did.

Likewise, clearly, the subsequent I entered the endeavor I appreciated that all of the Aratt Builders Bangalore Reviews on the web is critical and the endeavor is adequate. It is an optimal fit in the event that you are looking for a spot as a home around here.

#ArattCityscapesVillaReview #ArattCityscapesBangaloreReview #ArattCityscapesReviews

[violetsystems]

#personal

Week after week writing down here can trick me into thinking sometimes that I'm part of some wider culture. It is true that Tumblr is about the closest thing I have to offer in terms of contemporary American culture. (Freedom of speech, baby!) What isn't very clear to me is who all actually reads these. This as a writer is a challenge because you need to know your audience to effectively communicate. Otherwise I'm just down here babbling to myself. I've become confident over the years that nobody really knows who I am other than my friends. I tend to make friends because I like to communicate with people like me. These days I feel pressured to reconnect with the past to stay alive financially. Down here we connect together in the things we share and grow from them in ways deeper than currency or clout. Culture is always evolving and yet on the American stage it is always judged. Mostly because America fears the power disruption in the culture wars it referees. America is a judgmental society. It cannot stand ambiguity even as it touts ambiguous religious and personal freedoms that can be manipulated in a court of law. It literally fights wars all over the world under the pretense that we are the template of freedom and equality. There is an entire Supreme Court that ambiguously agrees during the selection process to protect women's rights. Somewhere deep in the secret halls, dying old men are judging the future of women's rights and quite possibly more regardless of what they testified to not do. No matter where you are on the moral side of the debate of abortion, you can't really get white christians to agree all killing is wrong. Especially when the second amendment floats out there in the distance. I applied for a gun permit. I'm historically anti gun. That license was issued late March. The mail has still not properly delivered a piece of highly sensitive federal identification. So there's a lot of double standards I'm used to with my country. It's a great salesperson. It showers money all over the world to fight valid wars it could have made not happen with better diplomacy. America is all talk and explanation. I had to wake up this morning to Chet Hanks from the cast of Empire in the hot seat defending cultural appropriation with an eloquent line of poetry. "Social justice warriors can kick rocks.” This is the guy that speaks for the streets. You have a clearly defined good cop and bad cop in that interview. But they're both cops in the acab sense of the word. The son of a rich actor on a television station bought out by one of the five richest people in the world. And I'm down here defending my right to breathe in languages other than English poetically.

The dialogue at the root is valid but the culture wars have a different agenda. There is a massive power struggle in America that is Sisyphean in nature. My vision of America has always been about personal identity and individual rights. We all try our best to stay in our lane and respect each other. The mosh pits I grew up in taught me that most of this is a dance. But the pits grow wildly more violent in nature. People get hurt, subjugated, and left for dead. In terms of mosh pits, I have been clashing with racists most of my life. I called out a group of skinheads in my twenties at an all ages music venue called off the alley. This was a club where I first met my ex boss decades ago who now pretends I don't exist. One of the skinheads from that crew inexplicably was hired later on in my life at the same art school we all worked at. It fucked me up because only I knew about this guy's past apparently. He was fired later for sexual harassment. As fresh in my mind as the fresh cuts on their heads, I actually talked to one of the nicer ones that converted on Facebook recently. I tend to not reconnect with my past as a sort of protest for these people never coming out with their past. But I am in the process of looking for a job in a world that pretends I'm dead. This guy who worked on mopeds and became a VW mechanic was part of a group of punks who hung out at the Denny's I worked at in the suburbs. They all hung out in the smoking section where we all smoked and drank coffee. One day they went from harmless ska punks to bald, flight jacket wearing Neo nazis standing on the edge of every pit. At a jawbreaker show possibly is where I saw them fraternizing with skinhead recruiters. I confronted them at the local denny's. I told them I cared about them getting into something they didn't understand was hate. They told me to shut my mouth or they would come for me and beat me up. From there on out, they pretended I didn't exist. That is until much later where they pretended it never happened. I live with this memory of being anti racist and that is part of my culture. They probably only talk about how weird I am online with my relationships. The history there is buried worse than my dj career. But this is how it goes down. And the narrative is probably only read by a few people enough to know that I am deeply triggered by anything hate related. No matter how free you want to keep this country, the memories of the lies are held at my own expense. I keep the contacts on Facebook messenger just the same in fear of losing any history I have to stay employable. But my past is just a pothole at this point that collect rain and tears.

America lies. It expects you not to question it because it is a class actor. It will make you feel guilty with undeniable religious fervor. Everyone is free here to worship their own god as long as it's part of a larger group. You are so free that separation of church and state is a bit of an inconvenience for the wider agenda. The vacuum cleaner salesmen mentality has graduated to peddling freedoms we already have constitutionally. Those freedoms are violated often. The only way to salvage them is to get a lawyer and fight in a court of law. Freedom in America is bought and sold. And anything that upsets the status quo will find itself fighting dirty. America fights dirty all the time. It lies. It cheats. It excuses itself. It points the finger at other people. It lives off the idea of creating an other like a moving target. So much so that it will find a scapegoat in the people it claims to represent. I don't particularly identify as anything but myself. I have a lifetime of protecting people. Standing up for people that aren't like me. And the way I am rewarded is bittersweet. You can only protect what you can be responsible for and control. And most of what I feel like I keep sacred are my relationships down here. They're more crypto than blockchain. You have my word I don't really talk to anyone about anything other than ambiguously. It's the American way. I tell my parents I am dating. They don't seem to know how to pry any deeper. I tell old acquaintances that I'm happily maintaining relationships I'd like to keep private. Then it's the same old bullshit. Let's get together and talk loudly about it in public. Let's get the band back together. Let's play the old FBI game of infiltration and subterfuge. Let's forget you all congregated together and apologized for each other being skinheads for one entire summer. Then suddenly became members of a rival SHARP crew. Sheep. Flocking together. Judging and roasting each other to cover up for their own inadequacies. Brushing away the problems they've inherited. A culture of imperialism and colonial ideals mutated into an ugly mess of I told you so. If there's one thing I told you I was better off at all these years, it was staying out of America's bullshit altogether. I only hope I can afford to last. It's been close to two years of unrelenting judgement and hell with no chance to speak my mind except down here. I don't think there's anywhere else where the love is more true. And I do love you very fucking much. So much so that I keep it to myself for fear of the rest of the world fucking it up. If I can hold my own against these shitheads for over two decades, I can wait for you to cross my threshold one day. <3 Tim

[platehen6]

The Definitive Guide To Minecraft Servers Hosting

Although the Xbox One was a success with some fans, it has been outsold by Sony's Playstation 4. Microsoft hopes the price drop will boost gross sales. It hired former CBS boss Nancy Tellem to head up its new Television studio, which will produce shows to be watched on the agency's Xbox video games console in addition to its cell units. Spencer added that it now not made sense to reserve apps corresponding to Netflix and YouTube to paying subscribers since such apps are broadly out there on DVD gamers and other Internet-related units. However if you are in an area with restricted choices or solely DSL, and so on, you can be restricted to the variety of gamers your upload bandwidth can handle having online at one time. This is where Biomes O Lots is available in as a should-have mod for Minecraft gamers. The Particular Armor Mod at present requires you to play on Minecraft 1.7.10, however it’s still value trying out if you aren’t a fan of the opposite armor mod that we shared. However, you’ll still need a little bit of reminiscence headroom to run the rest of the system, so we’ll create a droplet with 1 GB of RAM. Nevertheless, to be able to lower the value, Microsoft has dropped its revolutionary motion sensor Kinect from the most cost effective bundle.

Phil Spencer, who was named head of Xbox in March, stated unbundling Kinect was vital to reaching more followers. https://minecraft-servers.one/ Amazon already presents on-demand Tv exhibits and films free to prospects who're members of Amazon's premium delivery service Prime, in each the UK and US. The online portal is about to order four new exhibits with per-episode budgets of as a lot as a couple million dollars, a supply told the Wall Road Journal. Yahoo has unveiled plans for 4 reveals, whereas Microsoft is believed to have 12 in development. Whereas it remains to be solely in "early" testing, it reveals a ton of promise -- even when it is only made up of a few basic blocks of noise and coloration. X-Ray: The feature provides film buffs related trivia on their pill whereas a movie is taking part in. Second Display screen: Owners of a Kindle Hearth HDX tablet can ‘Fling’ Amazon Tv exhibits to their Hearth Television using Second Display, and use their tablet as a distant control. ScalaCube permits users to create multiple servers utilizing a single internet hosting plan.

It allows users to obtain films and Television exhibits, along with apps. The box permits customers to download movies and Television shows, along with apps. The brand new value of $399, the identical as a PS4, begins June 9, and Microsoft says it is usually allowing leisure apps like Netflix for use on each the Xbox One and the older Xbox 360 console without having to pay for an Xbox Stay Gold membership, which prices $60 a year. Usually, though, you possibly can anticipate to pay $a hundred per month or extra for a dedicated server. Microsoft mentioned final month that sales of Xbox One had slowed to 1.2 million in the quarter by March, in comparison with the 3.9 million it offered in the vacation quarter. Are YOU one of Twitter's 'silent customers'? They'll go up against Amazon, Hulu and Netflix, all of whom are also commissioning their very own exhibits in a bid to alter they manner we watch Television.

It gives you the opportunity to make your method between dimensions and find yourself someplace solely new. If Blizzard decided to end the conflict, I might cancel all of my subscriptions. A personal server allows you to play these video games the way you like it. If you find your way wading by way of the glaciers of freezing tundras, chances are you'll stumble upon Ice dragons - which can freeze you to death. The sound is horrifying, but not in a "zombies are so scary" method. There are a selection of ways to get a Linux server on the internet, however a Digital Ocean VPS is easy to set up and configure. It comes just weeks after the agency launched Fireplace Tv, a set prime field that doubles as a video games console. The small box suits underneath a Tv, and comes with a distant with a in-built microphone for voice recognition. Freebies: The box comes with a free month of Amazon Prime. Amazon final month unveiled a $99 Television field to take on Apple, Google and Roku - and it doubles as a games console. Microsoft has slashed the worth of its Xbox One games console by $100 in a bid to turn out to be the residing room gadget of selection and catch as much as arch rival Sony.

#Minecraft servers

[calido01]

How to Get a Job As a Product Manager

Securing your most memorable position as an item chief is very much like the consistently baffling chicken and egg issue of landing your most memorable position. Organizations like to enlist individuals with earlier item the board insight and it's difficult to get related knowledge without first getting employed. To fill in for this, here is some guidance on the most proficient method to bypass that Catch 22 without having to initially be a Product Management Blogs in the business:

Side Projects: One of the most ideal ways to exhibit your advantage in item the board is to chip away at a side undertaking that gives you the involvement with delivery an item. A side task could be anything from a substantial iPhone application, wireframe, or even PowerPoint contextual investigation. You could elect to help a non-benefit or independent venture or you could simply do some exploration on an organization's ongoing item/administration and show how you could further develop it.

For instance, while applying to little training tech fire up for a PM job, I did a short contextual investigation where I went out to target clients (who I felt precisely addressed the startup's immediate clients) and overviewed them about their concerns in schooling space. I incorporated every one of the reactions into a couple of central points of interest and conceptualized a couple of possible arrangements. Considering this was only a contextual analysis, I expounded on my interaction in focusing on which issue I'd address previously given time/cost requirements and did a speedy wireframe on PPT of an item include I would add to the startup's ongoing item contributions to resolve this issue. I likewise expounded on how I could quantitatively apportion impacts of moving this component.

One more illustration of side tasks you could do is joining a Startup Weekend in your neighborhood. Startup Weekend is an end of the week long experience where groups (specialized and non-specialized) social gathering and work on client advancement, thought approval, and assemble a base feasible item which they then, at that point, pitch to a board of specialists on the last day. It's an incredible encounter to foster item the executives abilities and in everyday work with individuals of various foundations to deliver an item on a cutoff time.

By the day's end, great side tasks ought to exhibit your abilities in manners a meeting or resume wouldn't have the option to, whether it be plan, business, innovative reasoning, coding, and so forth... Many individuals can b.s. their way through interviews however an unmistakable side task demonstrates the way that you can truly accomplish the work assuming you were offered the chance.

 Begin Thinking Like a PM: Although you ought to have the option to deal with side activities in your extra time, assuming you are really overwhelmed in your present place of employment and are one of those individuals who for the most part giggles when somebody asks you how you help fun, then, at that point, begin making strides at your ongoing organization to think and carry on like an item supervisor. Attempt to get onto projects where you are playing a lead job in dealing with a couple of individuals with various workstreams and where your group is answerable for getting a deliverable finished on a cutoff time. In a perfect world, you ought to attempt to get onto projects where you'll be compelled to work with cross-practical groups so you can gain proficiency with various "dialects." Good PMs know how to figure out terms from various groups and convert them into the language of their ongoing crowd. For most bosses, the following best thing to coordinate experience is exhibiting that you have important and adaptable abilities. Making strides at your ongoing organization/circumstance to adopt the thought process of a PM will permit you to more readily structure your experience and increment your possibility getting a PM work.

 Foster a Technical Skillset: Technical ranges of abilities doesn't mean figuring out how to code! I genuinely accept that all item supervisors in the tech business truly love innovation and will ultimately float towards a craving to learn code yet it isn't really important to get into item the board. Try not to simply be just conventional "business gentleman/lady" who trusts that your energy alone will find you a line of work in item the board. Make an honest effort to learn something specialized like plan or information examination (Excel/SQL). There are such countless assets online that'd it be totally crazy to at minimum not have a fundamental comprehension of one thing specialized going into the item the executives enlisting process.

Network: Honestly, I can't stand it when online journals offer me conventional guidance like systems administration yet I'd lie assuming I said I had the option to get my ongoing item director work without systems administration. In my occasion, I had the option to connect with previous school companions filling in as item directors who had the option to give me more knowledge into their jobs as well as assist with directing me towards important contacts at new businesses I was keen on. Tech is really a lot more modest space than it appears and requiring investment to go to occasions, hackathons, and meetups will give you admittance to an enormous organization of people who could allude you into organizations. I buy into Startup Digest and Meetup to get an arranged rundown of tech occasions in my space that I view as significant.

For More Details, Visit Us:

product strategy framework template

product strategy in business management

Project Management Pricing Software

Product Management Blogs

[pencilscratchins]

do you gonna make a video reaction to episode three of star wars?

okay you gotta be psychic because i literally texted bailey about this earlier today

#dem0n-d4yz2 #hopefully soon! we both got caught up with work #so we’ve been putting it off but i will force her soon i promise lmaoOO #possibly this week my boss permitting #well technically i texted her threatening to dress as max rebo for the whole video but potato potahto #ask #not art #i’m glad people actually like those because we have so much fun doing them

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Two Minds, One Body || Mafia!Bucky [pt3]

Mafia!Bucky x fem!reader

Chapter Summary: You pay for your attitude in the best way possible Warnings: 18+ only, smut, edging/orgasm denial, cream pie, cum-play, mutual masturbation, squint and you might see voyerism, fluff, guns WC: 2427

Main Masterlist || Bucky Masterlist || Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four

Your heels clicked loudly as you stormed through the house looking for Bucky, or in this case, Winter. You knew he was here somewhere because his driver was still having a smoke outside but there were too many rooms to check each of them. Instead, you planted yourself beside the front door and waited for him to rear his head.

“Something wrong, love?” Bucky asked as he caught the vision of you waiting, hand on hip and fire in your eyes.

“What the fuck is this?” You growled as you pulled the handgun that had suddenly appeared in your handbag overnight.

“I believe it’s a gun.” He smirked and continued to push his cufflinks into his business shirt.

“Ha ha, I forgot what a comedian you were.” You rolled your eyes. “What is it doing in my bag, Bucky?”

He stepped closer and ran his hands softly down your arms but you shook him off and held your stance firm, he wasn’t going to distract you with his smouldering charm today. With a sigh he pulled away, looking to Nico for help as he entered to foyer only to quickly back track.

“Rat bastard.” Bucky mumbled under his breath before turning his attention back to you, his eyes bleeding almost to black. “I wanted to make sure you are protected in case I’m not around, kukolka.”

“Win…” You sighed as you dropped your hand from your hip. “I don’t even know how to use this, I’m more likely to accidentally shoot myself.”

“I’ll teach you.” He said, taking the gun from your fingertips and shoving it down the back of his waistband and pulling his suit jacket on to hide it. “After what you pulled off last month, we are the richest syndicate on the East Coast. That puts a target on our backs.”

You couldn’t help but beam under his pride, your NFT plan had worked and Bucky was laundering millions every week, but you hadn’t spent too long thinking about the dangers it put you in. You had noticed the extra guards on the property and that when you went out you had almost as much of an entourage as Bucky did, now it made sense.

“Ok, but I’ll need a permit.” You said begrudgingly. “I’m not going to jail because of something stupid like that. It would just be embarrassing.”

“She launders millions and orders around the toughest mob boss in the state of New York, but was caught without a firearms permit.” Bucky laughed, stepping into his brilliantly shined shoes. “That would be pretty embarrassing, doll.”

“Who said you were the toughest mob boss?”

“Oooh, my queen is fierce this morning.” He smirked as he grabbed your jaw and pulled you forward to meet his lips. “I’ll have to fuck that attitude out of you when I get home.”

═══════☆═══════

His chest was pressed to your back, hands over yours and holding you pinned in place. You could barely breathe as his thigh nudged your legs wider and his lips brushed the side of your neck.

“Focus, kukolka.” Winter warned you as your ass naturally pressed back into him with a promise of good spanking if you didn’t heed his words. “Pull the trigger.”

You took a deep breath through your mouth so you didn’t get distracted by the Armani cologne he wore and tried to focus on the target that had been nailed to the trees at the back of the property. This was not what you thought you would be doing when Bucky returned home, you hadn’t even noticed Nico had disappeared until he returned with a hammer and a swollen thumb.

“Shouldn’t I have ear muffs or something?” You asked in another attempt at delaying the inevitable. “You always see them on tv.”

“If someone attacks I doubt you will have a pair of them on you.” Winter pointed out. “You need to know what you are in for, like the recoil.”

“The what?!” Your hands dropped but Winter caught them and aimed them back at the target. “I don’t think I can do this…”

“I’ve got you.” He stilled your trembling hand and let one of his fall to your hip. “I remember the first time I pulled the trigger.”

“I’m pretty sure you were born with a gun in one hand and a flask of whiskey in the other.”

“Close but not quite.” He chuckled and let his other hand fall to your hip too. “It’s not as scary as it seems. Pull the trigger.”

You turned your face away and screwed your eyes shut as your index finger curled over the trigger. If the deafening bang wasn’t enough to scare the living daylights out of you, the snap of the recoil did. Winter’s hands were quick as lightning as they caught yours and steadied the hold before you could drop the weapon or accidentally discharge it.

“Good girl.” He grinned and pressed his lips to your cheek.

“Did I hit it?” You blinked rapidly, still stunned by the sound and force of your shot.

Winter’s laugh vibrated from his chest as he shook his head. “Not even close, but you pulled the trigger. That’s the hardest part.”

You had to admit now that you had done it once and knew what to expect, the idea did seem easier, you would certainly hold it a bit tighter now that you felt how much it recoiled in your grip and you began to raise the weapon again. This time you aimed to keep your eyes open so you could actually see the target.

“I think I should get a prize if I hit the target.”

Winter’s hand snaked down your body, tugging up the hem of your dress so he could brush aside your panties. “Sounds fair to me.”

Your head tipped back onto his shoulder as what his fingers did was not fair at all. You found it impossible to focus on aiming as they dipped between your folds and teased your clit, soft moans filling the quiet afternoon air. “Win, fuck, thats, not, fair.”

Your hips were rolling as they sought more friction, more depth than his thick fingers could offer. “Take the shot, kukolka. Claim your prize.”

His fingers disappeared and you whimpered at the loss before he raised his glistening digits to his lips, licking them clean as your panties dampened even more. You knew the game he was playing and you wanted so desperately to win. Focus, focus, focus. You remembered his instructions and how to line up the sights on the slide, looking down the barrel and at the target beyond. Deep breath in, sight the target, slowly exhale, pull the trigger. The gun still bounced back in your grip but nothing like the first shot and you saw the bark behind the target splinter as your bullet lodged deep into the trunk.

“Ouch, bad luck, doll.” Bucky sucked the air between his teeth as he took the gun and hit the magazine release as well as the round in the chamber, tucking them away behind his back.

“Woah, uh-uh, I hit the target.” You said as you stopped him from heading back towards the house. “You didn’t stipulate it had to be a head shot.”

You grabbed his hand and he let you tow him to the tree trunk and pointed out the tiny tear in the edge of the paper where your bullet had entered the trunk, nowhere near close to the outline of a head.

“See, target hit.”

Bucky was trying not to laugh as he touched the spot, his finger widening the hole in an innocent way that left you breathless nonetheless. “Someone is just desperate for a prize.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Your lip was caught between your teeth as you stepped up onto a root that stretched out beneath the tree and you stood eye to eye with him.

“You wanna cum so badly, don’t you baby?” He smirked as he ran his thumb over your lip, pulling it from your bite. You couldn’t help but flick your tongue out, tasting the pad of his thumb before sucking it as his pupils blew wide and his breathing deepened. “Fuck. Turn around.”

You smiled triumphantly as he spun you against the tree, your hands splayed against the trunk as his hands bunched your dress up. The thin material of your panties were torn apart and left to fall to the leaves before you heard his zip. You were already whimpering for him as he pulled your hips back and pushed your face forward, snapping his hips so he could fill you in one go. Your cry was lost as his hand clamped over your mouth and you were reminded that there were guards roaming the property.

“You’re mine, doll, no one else gets to see you like this.” He promised between sweet kisses and sharp bites to your neck. “So be a good girl and don’t make a sound.”

His hand fell from your mouth and you bit your lip to keep them shut as he circled your clit instead. It took all of your concentration to stay quiet as your legs began to tremble with every long stroke of his cock against your walls.

“Don’t cum just yet, babygirl.” He warned as his rhythm failed.”Remember my promise this morning.”

Your head was clouded by your impending orgasm when suddenly his cock twitched as his deep groan filled your ears as he spilled himself inside and pulled his hand away from where you needed it most.

“Gonna fuck the attitude out of you first. Then you’ll get your prize.” He smirked, pulling out after his release ended. “Close your legs, doll, I don’t want any of that leaking out between here and our bed.”

He tucked his cock back in his pants and zipped it up before whistling happily along the path, stopping a moment to check you were following him. Your knees were pressed together tightly as you tried to walk without letting his cum drip down your legs but gravity was a losing battle and you decided speed would be better over strategy, power walking past your grinning beau. You dared not give him the usual lippy attitude as you passed him  in case he withheld anymore orgasms, but you knew when you finally got your prize it would be monumental.

Your clothes were discarded in a messy heap as you entered your room and waited on the bed for Bucky. Your legs were crossed and your hips slightly raised, doing exactly as you were told, when he walked in the room a short while after. His shirt had been unbuttoned and hung loose around his body, the light illuminating every defining line that cut his abdominal muscle into the six pack you wanted to ride.

“Open.”

Your legs spread wide as he stopped at the foot of the bed, the feel of his liquid silk  slipping through your folds and running over you already had you trembling and his hands dropped his trousers so he could stroke his already hard again cock. The possessive burn of his eyes set your skin on fire and your fingers inched over your hip, begging permission to touch yourself.

“Go on, love.” He nodded as he gripped himself tighter. “Take yourself to the edge, but I’ll be the one who makes you cum.”

You sighed happily as you applied the pressure you needed to your clit, dipping your fingers down to gather his cum to use it to soothe the ache on your swollen bundle of nerves. Your back arched as your fingers easily glided over the nub and your walls fluttered, more of his cum dripping from your needy cunt and earning a deep moan from Bucky as he appreciated the sight. Your eyes locked together and you felt the tightening in your core curl your toes, pushing yourself to the brink before you threw your hands away from your body and tried to fight the urge to finish.

“You are perfect.” He vowed as he climbed on the bed, leaving kisses up your thighs before his tongue lashed slowly through your folds, gathering a mouthful of his cum and your arousal. His cock rested between you and every movement left his veiny shaft rubbing over your sensitive clit as he captured your lips, tongue sharing the taste of your bodies combined. “You can cum whenever you want now, doll.”

His hips pulled back so his cock could fall between your legs before he snapped them back into you, your body putting up no resistance as he filled you to your core. You could finally cry out his name, the thick walls of your room trapping the sounds of your ecstasy firmly within them. Your fingers clawed at his back as the edging left you blinded with passion and you bucked your hips up to meet his every thrust, his pelvic bone applying just the right touch for whitehot spots of light to dart across your vision.

Unintelligible words tumbled from your lips as your orgasm built and built and built until you thought you would just combust into a billion atoms. Your mind splintered and for a moment there was no feeling at all, it was like time stopped as your soul left your body and every muscle froze. Then you came crashing back down, your pussy pulsing uncontrollably as your legs wrapped around his back, liquid gushing around his cock as your body was overcome with fever.

“Holy shit.” Bucky moaned as he watched your orgasm rip through you, feeling your walls draw him in and hold him tighter than ever as his thighs were drenched by the torrent of liquid squirting over him. “Oh, fuck, so good.”

He couldn’t hold back any longer, not when your eyes rolled back into your head and he knew he had kept his promise. Collapsing onto your chest, he shuddered as he spilled himself inside you once again, both of your bodies covered in a light sweat from the sweet torture you had been put through. Rolling his eyes to look up at you from where he lay you could only move enough to place a kiss on his forehead, his eyes fluttering closed at the softness.

“Are you still going to give me attitude?” He asked with a small hint of a smile, really not minding it at all.

Your chest bumped his head with a laugh and you stroked your fingers through his hair. “Am I still breathing?”

Click here for part 4.

═══════☆═══════

Taglist || Taglist Join Form ||

@jessica11133 @nash-dara @buckyisperfect @itswanktime @slutforsexyseabass @sea040561 @gryffindorqueensworld @honeywithemoney @kenzieam @tsnelf7 @jmeagin-blog @saranghaey @heavenly-rogers @ashly4 @bibibeauelle @wildcat116 @glxwingrxse @ymasen @Ghostpepper21 @thebuckybarnesvault

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x poc!reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #bucky fanfiction #mafia!bucky