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#posted this on my other blog TWICE but it wouldn't show up on the tags
swearyshera · 7 months
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Thank you!
This may end up being a long, rambly post because I'm a little emotional. But bear with me.
I am so incredibly thankful for all the love you've sent this week, and it humbles me to realise how much this silly little parody blog meant to people. Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, commenting, asking, going absolutely unhinged in the tags... I read them all, and they've spurred me to keep going through 32 months, over 5000 posts, 40GB of screenshots and the wildest, most brilliant time of my life.
I'd love to thank people individually, but there's so many of you that I would inevitably miss someone out and that seems unfair! But I will say a special thank you to the She-Ra Uncut team, who I'm proud to consider some of the greatest friends I've made through this fandom, and whether we make many wonderful things, or never make anything again, I hope we can consider each other friends for life.
(Sob story time, feel free to skip!) In 2015, I had a huge breakdown. I was off work for 8 months, in hospital for a week, had therapy twice a week for a year... It was fucking awful. And though I got better, I never really felt like I had a reason to, and that I was just treading water until the darkness came back with vengeance. Then, as She-Ra ended, I made some silly posts that ended up as Etheria Nine-Nine, which led me onto what would become Sweary She-Ra. I had no idea how much this would change my life.
The response to this blog led me to write a script for a She-Ra Uncut trailer, and I loved it. I wrote more and developed a love for the craft, that I wanted to continue. It became a joy, and gave me a dream for the first time I could remember. So I kept writing, I kept learning and improving. In September 2022, I was sat in the Lowry theatre in Salford surrounded by the laughter of an audience watching a play that I wrote. That was the most incredible feeling of my life.
And I wouldn't have had that without thinking "Catra should be allowed to say fuck".
So while, it may be over (and it was pointed out to me that Sweary She-Ra ran for longer than the actual show did!), it's hopefully not the end. I'm very keen to make an audio sequel if I can, maybe several, and I'm not going to disappear into the ether. And hey, I don't know what the future will bring.
But there is a future.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you, everyone.
Alice.
(PS - Hi Crew-Ra, if you're reading this as I maybe suspect one or two of you may be. I am sorry but also not sorry, but also hire me when the strikes are over 😁. Thank you for making She-Ra, I love you!)
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keeponquinning · 5 months
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Here with Me — The Pros and Cons — Part One
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Joseph Quinn x Latina!Fem!Novelist!Reader — RPF — 18+
word count — 19.5k
summary — it's your birthday weekend and you're working. at the local con in LA, so things could be worse. you have your friends with you, as you're going through a dry spell, creatively. in between signings and a lot of nothing to do, you go to the nearby bar with your friends to kill the time before your late night panel with your peers and one trip from your table to the bar? well... that's the start of everything....
warnings — first off, RPF!! if not your thing, scroll! be nice, if thinking of being mean, think twice! i hope that rhymed. no smut in this chapter, though there are adult talk, cursing, reader is latina ( that shouldn't be a warning but kinda a heads up ) and there is some talk of that. bit of a surprise guest near the end ( think big blue eyes ) mention of porn. reader has a personality, if that's not your thing.... I understand. i tried to make this as entertaining as possible, no use of y/n. bit of mama joe and also a bit of pervy joe, but loads of charming joe.
notes — god, this was a LONG time coming. i'm trying to concentrate on this series, so i'll be working on part two as soon as i post this, but slowly. editing for the first time was fun, def added and changed a few stuff. so i hope it flows a bit nicer. i hope ya'll like this, it was fun to write and share with a few friends, shout out to @quinnypixie as being my beta in the way of me sending pages bc i'm a slut for comments and validation lmao saying that, please leave a comment if you liked this!! I appreciate the likes, of course, but nothing makes me more giddy than comments. only if you want, of course, but if you're feeling shy, so don't be! i wanna hear your guys take on this. i have total tinkerbell syndrome, i need applause to LIVE. enjoy guys!
tagging — @babybluebex , @quinnypixie , @inourtownofhawkins , @musicoverall , @seatnights , @figmentofquinn , @birdysaturne, @tomhollandseyes , @notverywise , @live-love-be-unique , @shanalynnphotos , @mmunson86 , @haylaansmi , @cestpresqueparfait , @iaminlovewithdilfs , @anaofthebarricade , @wolfiescosplay , @ailathealternate , @maximus2354, @j0qw , @missonlypost , @stabthecrab , @hanavakiih , @mrsmunsonxquinn , @rhapsodicaesthete , @elain00 , @drawdownthem00n , @munson-enthusiast , @roset01 , @alyssaaaaa-r , @josephmunson99 , @munsonsgirl71 , @ariegoldhouse , @rainbowbubbles9 , @justheretoreadleavemealone , @muns0nslov3r , @bluegalaxyprime , @k-corbett , @eddiemunsonsrighttoe , @rememberwhen-it-rained , @thoughtsoftheantagonist , @pvssy-destroyer , @joescigarettes , @jasminearondottir , @joeqluver , @babybat-95
( note, some of you i tried to tag but your blog wouldn't show up, if anyone knows a fix for this, let me know! )
wanna be tagged? click here and like the masterlist!
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It always strikes you as odd that a big wall of noise could drive you crazy anywhere else — except at a bar and grill. Then, it seems comforting, almost, the sounds of clinking glasses, laughter… The floating of bits of conversation slithering into your ear, heard, but not quite understood. There was an odd sense of comfort to it, the scents of food wafting in the air as well, which made you thankful for the food in front of you.
The food that was intended to be shared was most definitely not.
How annoying.
“Why are you guys sleeping on the loaded fries?” came your voice, after scarfing down yet another forkful and chased it with a coke. Looking at your friends, sticking to their own plates of mozzarella sticks and onion rings, you let out a laugh. “I’m gonna end up eating this whole damn plate and then hearing about me being greedy and not sharing, you know this.”
Your brows raised at your best friend and her fiancé, their dishes having been shared with each other, half and half. “I’m feeling like you’re putting me down for my love of fries with,” you paused, plucking a clean edged one, “...creamy nacho cheese sauce, bacon, scallions, and mm, sour cream.” Popping it into your mouth, you lean back in your seat, the sounds of the bar swirling around you, chuckling softly. “What gives?”
Jen, your best friend, rolled her eyes. “You think I don’t want some?”
“You haven’t reached at all for it, not commented on it, nothing, which is unusual for you, wench.”
“Oh, I want some. I want some so bad! But…” She leaned back, dipping her mozzarella stick in marinara, “I’m being good, and leaving your plate alone. No mooching food from the birthday girl, that’s my rule.”
Ah. Right. There was that. A smile stretched across your face as you watched her bite and pull the mozzarella stick away, impressed by the cheese pull. “How uncharacteristically kind of you.”
“It was my suggestion,” the male voice of Gerry piped up. “Trust me, she would have demolished it by now if I didn’t.” 
“It looks so good,” Jen concurred, shaking her head. “We’re getting one.” Dusting her hands together. “Gerry, we’re getting one and we’re splitting.”
Gerry raised his brows, “Meaning… I get a few and it’s mainly you.” 
“Obviously,” his fiancée let out, as if there was even a need to question it. 
You chuckled, feeling a bit brighter with your friends there. Jen and Gerry being more like a lifeline when you really needed it. And today? This weekend? You most definitely did. “What about we get some sliders, too? I still got… One panel later. The late panel, the spicy panel, so I gotta get my wit on high and I can’t do that if I’m hungry. And fries, as lovely as they are… Won’t cut it.” 
“How was it?” Jen asked, taking one of Gerry’s onion rings, dipped in ranch before taking a bite. 
“The signing?” Once she nodded, you let out a sigh, sinking back into your seat. “I… It was okay. I mean, it’s pretty awesome that people still read my books. Even bringing physical copies, I fucking love that, but…” A groan left you, tilting your head up toward the ceiling. “God, I wish I had something more substantial to say when they ask me when’s the next book coming out or…if I’m working on something. Instead of just putting on that forced smile and whipping out an upbeat, ‘we’ll see!’ I almost wanna admit I have nothing, but half-baked ideas and blank pages and I actually have no idea when or if that’s ever gonna change.” 
And that was the rub of it. The reason you had wished you skipped the convention this time around. You loved them, usually. Loved meeting your readers, talking and discussing the industry and process with your fellow writers — most of whom you admired and couldn’t believe they even knew you. But the fact you had nothing but your past books to draw from, no new content to share, it was starting to weigh heavily on you. Not feeling as active as you should be. You felt as if you were letting everyone down — and, oh yeah, it was your birthday. Nothing like a birthday to really hammer in the fact that more time has passed and nothing to show for it. 
You felt a heavy boot, the heel nudging your foot harshly enough to let out a soft cry. Furrowed brow lifted, narrowing your eyes at Gerry. “Ow. What the fuck, dude?” 
Brushing back his long, dark locks from his face, he leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him. “You know you’re going to do it, right?” he asked, eyeing you. “It’s not like you’re sitting around and doing nothing, you’re active. You come up with ideas — half baked, yeah, but they’re ideas. Do you know how many songs end up in the trash bin before I even play it for the other guys? So many. It’s the same thing, those half-written stories you scrap, there just hasn’t been a story that stuck, that’s worth reaching toward an end. It’ll come, it’s not like a hobby for you, we all know that. You just gotta remember that for yourself.” 
Jen looked impressed, smiling at Gerry, brushing her fingers through his hair. “He’s right, you know,” she added, looking at you. “C’mon, Wench, I know it’s been….”
“Two years,” you finish for her, brows rising. “It’s been two fucking years…” 
“Yeah, okay, it’s been two fucking years. It happens, okay? It doesn’t mean anything—”
Oh, God, you thought and instinct took over, leading you to stand up from the table, a quick, “Yup, I’m gonna get those fries and sliders, yeah? Another round of drinks?”
Jen looked at you, crossing her arms in front of her, tilting her head. “I fucking know you. This is a rough patch, a dry spell, things that are temporary…” Trying hard for you to listen, brows raised. “You got this.”
In your head, or at least in some small part, you knew she was right. That they both were right. It wasn’t just empty words being used to placate you; they knew you. Always honest with you, never were they the people that would bullshit you just to build you up and have nothing to back it up. Self-doubt was a bitch, though, and instead of taking it to heart, you took a deep breath, put on a smile and said, “We’ll see.” Pushing yourself away from the table, ignoring the furrowed brow on Jen, pointing to the glasses in front of them, “Another round, loaded fries and sliders.” 
With a sigh, she gave a nod, “Yeah, yeah that sounds good. This talk isn’t over, but I’ll let it slide for your birthday.”
You let out a laugh, giving a nod. “Very kind of you, Wench.” Smiling at them both, you turn toward the bar and head off. “Love you.”
“Love you, too,” she called out, leaning back in her seat. “Okay, what are we gonna do with her?”
Light colored eyes looked over at her, lifting his hand to gesture between them, “...this. What we’re doing now.”
Brows rose at that, challengingly at him. “...and that would be…?”
Giving her a shrug, he said, quite simply, “Being here. Encouraging…” Leaning over to her, equally as challenging as she was. “...but not forcing it.” 
A heavy sigh left your best friend's lips, knowing Gerry was right, but not liking it. “Yeah, okay,” she relented, eyeing your plate with a handful of fries, letting out a huff as she pulled the plate towards herself. She met Gerry’s raised brows, raising her own, “What? She’s getting more, this doesn’t count,” taking a forkful and into her mouth with a moan. “I knew it. So good.” 
He laughed, shaking his head, plucking one of his onion rings. 
It was crowded, it was summer, the tail end of it where it lingered longer than anyone would have liked and yearned for the fall — though pumpkin spice would be on everyone’s mind early anyway. The first day of the convention weekend, as well, made the bar crowded and buzzing with excitement from its patrons. There was some pity for those heavy in costume, the layers of clothing would not do well with the insistent heat, though you found yourself admiring the wardrobe anyway. Still, you were grateful for the summer attire of cut off jean shorts, a tank top and — a flannel shirt you wore open that was currently sitting at the back of your chair at your table with your friends. It was worn more for modesty’s sake during the afternoon when you were in work mode, but the heat of the weather and the people buzzing around you? Fuck modesty, you were hot. 
Your ankle boots were probably not the smartest choice, admittedly, and you hated cliches, however… They were your favorite pair, your cutest pair, and it was your birthday, so you wanted to indulge. Remarkably comfortable with the heel, thank the retail gods for padded cushions at the balls of your feet, but it did make getting across a room of crowded people…difficult. 
Twisting and turning to swerve and weave in between, your lips in a constant state of letting out sorry and excuse me, sorry, you started to curse at yourself for doing this on your own. Hindsight is a bitch like that, you’re finding. You smile helplessly as you pass by a couple, one dressed as Geralt of Rivia and Yennefer, quite notably, before turning and that’s when it happened. An uneven crack on the floor, just inches from the bar, and the toe of your treasured booties? Yeah, hit right smack into it, making your body lurch forward. The worst fear hitting you, much like the floor would be soon, you were going to eat it. You were going to fall and smack your head on the floor. Fuck. Fuck. In a crowd of people who, coincidentally, seemed to have parted because suddenly all you could feel was air. 
And then a strong pair of arms, steady hands and warm chest. 
Suddenly you weren’t meeting the floor but standing upright with unsteady feet still firmly on the ground. Strong hands were holding you along your waist, your hands gripping tight onto pair forearms, heart racing, mind reeling. Did that just happen? Jesus Christ. You leaned forward, plush against his chest. Very warm, broad shoulders, crisp linen buttoned shirt and… Smelling really good, not recognizing the scent, male cologne, sort of woodsy with a bit of citrus. A sharp contrast to the scent of lavender and vanilla of some off brand  perfume you got from Amazon. His scent, it even smelled of a big brand, expensive bottle, the ones you’d never bring yourself to buy yourself. But it smelled really good. 
“Shit, you okay?” came his voice, sounding warm yet concerned, but the accent was what you cling onto the most. As it always did when you heard an accent clearly not American. “You almost—”
“Yeah, yeah, that…” Your eyes widened, straightened your back, eyes flashing to his for a mere second before looking at the bar, brows raising. “Oh god, if I tripped… If I fell…” Taking a deep breath, realizing your earlier thought of hitting the floor was off the mark, in actuality… “Oh, I would have hit my head right smack at the edge. I would’ve died. I would have bled, it would have been such a mess around all these people, oh, that would’ve been embarrassing.”
He gave a snort, and if you looked up, you would have seen his brows raised and an amused smile stretch over his face. “...I… I’m not sure embarrassing would be quite the word. Traumatic, horrible, something along those lines, surely...”
But you shook your head, “No, no, if I were to die on my birthday, that would be an irony that I would be known forever about, and I can’t have that,” you ended with a soft laugh, bringing your eyes to his face, your savior, and you find him chuckling at that, lips stretched wider in a smile and eyes, a chocolate brown, twinkling with what you hope is amusement.
And that’s when you really look at him, the brown curls which on top sat his shades. Big, brown eyes, that chocolate brown looking at you with raised brows, scruffy beard making him seem more… You didn’t know what, but you liked it. “...fair point,” he conceded, letting out an airy laugh, giving a nod. “That… I still don’t know about it being embarrassing, but the irony, that, yeah, I could see that. Erm, happy birthday, glad I was here so we could avoid all that.”
“I…” You had escaped death, but realizing who had saved you from that death was making you a bit more insane in your head. Smiling wide, giving a nod, “Yeah, that… Um… Thank you, for that, that was… Kinda saved my life — No, you did save my life, there’s no kinda about it. I… Um…” A laugh erupted from your lips, shaking your head. “... Hi.”
He smiled wider, chuckling softly, “Hi.”
Licking your lips, you clear your throat, and… You’re cringing a bit, because you recognize him. You fully do. There was no real question about it, as you looked at him, you knew. But… There will always be a part of you that had to ask, that needed confirmation. So, you had to ask. “You’re um…” Nodding your head, “Y’know, from uh…”
He exhaled, giving a nod, giving you the impression that he’s been through this before. You hoped he wouldn’t be a dick about it. “Yup, yeah, that’s me.”
“Cool. Cool, cool, cool…” You paused, trying to suppress a laugh. “It would be… Really lame for me to whip out, ‘Glad you didn’t run away this time’, wouldn’t it?”
Chocolate brown eyes widened, lips twitching into a laugh you could tell he wanted to let out. “Oh, yes, that… That would have been awful and truly embarrassing, I’d allow the usage of the word to describe it. Definitely.”
“Mmhm,” you hummed, nodding further, “Yeah, just what I thought.”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t.”
“Good thing I didn’t.”
“Oh. So good.”
“So…” you let out, looking up at him, “Do I call you Joe or Joseph?”
“Erm…” He paused for a moment, furrowing his brow in thought, looking to seriously ponder on that. “Well…” His shoulders rose in a shrug, “I dunno. Erm… Whatever you want, I guess. Not… averse to either, honestly.” He let out a soft chuckle, “Dealer’s choice.”
“My choice? Cool, love that for me. Um…” Smacking your lips lightly, giving a decisive nod. “Well… I think Joseph works well — works for me, anyway…”
Giving a nod, he hummed, “I like Joseph. My mum calls me Joseph. So — Oh. Erm, not that you’re like my mum. I mean, not like… I dunno…” His brows furrowed, as if rethinking what had spilled from his mouth. “You don’t think it’s an insult, yeah, that I said you’re not like my mum? Or… Is it like… God, you seem lovely, just… Didn’t want you to think that I…” His brows furrowed further, seeming to confuse himself. “Trying not to say you’re beneath my mum in my standards or in my head, but also not wanting to seem like I think low of my mum or that I compare people to my mum on a daily basis, because god, that’s fucking weird, isn’t it…?” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Yeah, no, I’m…. I don’t know where I was going with that…”
Your smile widened with every word that fell from his lips, chuckling deep enough that your shoulders shook and enough to feel his fingers clench around your waist. “You’re cute. And sweet to not want to devalue your mom to an absolute stranger.’
He snorted at that, “God, like your brits bumbling, then?”
“Well,” you started, lifting your brows at him, “To be fair, that is how Hugh Grant started his career.”
It was his turn to raise his brows, a mockery of hope in his expression, “Are you saying that I could be the next Hugh Grant?”
“I mean…” you started, lips stretched the widest you could remember in a long time, “With those big chocolate button eyes, you definitely…maybe have the potential to be. I’m just saying!”
Those same chocolate button eyes widened at your words, your own eyes catching sight of his dimples as his own lips stretched just as wide as yours, a laugh bursting from those lips, “How do you know about my chocolate button eyes?” Raising a challenging brow, he leaned forward just a bit. “Have you been talking to my mum? Is this a set up? She’s been asking when I’m about to settle down…”
A laugh escaped you, “Are you saying I’m the type of girl your mum would want you to settle down with? I dunno, that’s kinda forward, we just met.”
There was something in his smile, those same brown eyes looking over at you as he gave in to a snicker, shaking his head, “No. Sorry, that is… You’re right, that would be insane, we just met. Under…quite…unique circumstances.” His brow furrowed, “Are you okay? Have I asked that already? Bit rude if I didn’t…”
“Yes, you did. Or… I think your words were, ‘Shit, you okay?’ which I understand to mean as a very British way to ask that very question.” You smiled, giving a nod. “You’re good. And…so am I.” Your hands give his arms a gentle squeeze. “Actually… I’m so good that… You could probably let go of me now.” In an attempt to take away any offense, you blurt out, “Not that it hasn’t been nice, being held by you like this, but um… Yeah, I’m… I’m good. My feet’s steady, so… You don’t… Y’know…have to keep holding me steady.”
“Oh. God, right, right,” he said immediately, his hands flying up and away from you. A smirk to his lips as he held out his hands, palms facing you, a boyish giggle leaving him. “That’s… Sorry, I didn’t even know that I was still…” Pocketing his hands, he let out a huff as he watched you settle and wrap your arms around yourself. “Well, there we go. Erm… I am glad you’re okay, that was…” He shook his head, “Yeah, that could’ve ended badly. I’m glad I was around, y’know, to prevent your very untimely demise.” You both shared a small laugh at that, but then he furrowed his brow, looking around in mild concern. “Really is maddening that… Despite being surrounded by so many people and none of them, not one person, went to help or even come to ask if you’re okay…”
“Oh, I did notice that, yeah,” you responded while looking around you, a small little offended glare in place. “Welcome to America, I guess. Bunch of rude fuckers. People’s phones would be out, recording my death and no doubt, I’d be all over everyone’s for you page via TikTok and so not in the way that would be welcomed.”
A light scoff left his lips, “Is there any other way on TikTok? I mean…” His shoulders raise in a shrug, “I dunno, I’m not on it, but it doesn’t seem quite appealing, does it?”
It was said so innocently, so casually, your lips stretching into a smile and eyes flickering with amusement. You could have fun with this, his statement sounding so… Almost boomer of him, despite the young age in comparison to actual boomers. Which only brought on further amusement in your eyes. “Not a fan?” starting off casually. Trying to ascertain how bad this could be.
“Well…” he started, brows raised a bit as his hand reached for the back of his head, scratching his neck. “Not that I ventured much into it, but…” He gave a shrug, “It’s just dances, isn’t it? Like I said. Not very appealing.”
You couldn’t help it. The roll of your eyes came immediately as did the laugh from your lips. “Oh, God, it is not all dancing. There’s so much more to it, it’s all sorts of things. All sorts of content from all kinds of creators. Actors doing skits, some they wrote, some they didn’t, or even just jumping on a trend that showcases their acting skills or recreations of famous scenes from movies, shows… Their interpretation of it, even if it’s lip synching, it’s them. Musicians showcasing their music by either remixing,” You paused a moment, raising your brows, letting out a soft laugh. “…which you know a lot about remixes, I’m sure…”
He gave a deep hum, giving a nod, “Yeah, yeah, more than I care for, admittedly…”
“Right, well, there’s that and singing, performing, either putting out a song or performing it live. Editors, doing video edits of either original material or… Or even video edits of their favorite shows, movies, actors… Artists? Speed drawing videos showing their skills and how a sketch turns to an actual fucking piece of art. Because not all artists can get their work in a gallery, but they can post a video on a platform that will literally show up on people’s screens,” a soft laugh escaping, and you saw how he smiled, tilting his head and looking at you as you spoke. “And then there’s cooking — you’re a foodie, right?”
“I…” he started, his smile growing as he gave a nod. “Yeah, yeah, I… I consider myself a foodie, sure. That’s on TikTok as well?”
Lips stretched across your face as you gave an earnest nod, “Yes. The good and the bad. Cooking food, sharing recipes, rating dishes or restaurants—shops, like… It’s such a tool for small businesses and in this fucked up economy, it’s so needed. And...” You hesitated a moment, before giving in to a reluctant nod, “It’s helped writers as well. Promoting their books, sharing their writing, connecting with readers and… You know, that stuff. And aside from content creators, the art of it, there’s simply fans of all of it, discussing all of it, connecting with others discussing it. I don’t know if you’ve considered that part but…” You let out a sigh, “Whether you grew up having to hide just things you like or never really recovering from the isolation we all felt during the start of the pandemic…” Shaking your head, “Connecting with others over things you love, or just even things or people you like… Without judgement, it’s so important. Also serving to just… Y’know, give yourself a voice. Not just about entertainment but… Just life and how it can knock you down. Pick you up. The fucked-up parts that traditional media is just never going to give you a chance to scream at the world, people on the app do. They’re given that chance, and they take it, and it’s great. And if you’re feeling down, there’s people that use the platform to pick you right up.”
Tilting his head, a bit, the corner of his lip let out a smirk, “So… Definitely not just dancing then?”
You laughed, shaking your head, “No, no, Mr. Quinn, not just dancing. And the fact that people are so quick to just boil it down to just dancing is… Not only ridiculous but fucking reductive. Yeah, it has some big downsides to it. Like any other form of social media, there’s toxicity and negative impacts and even people manipulating other people. A narrative that doesn’t align with the truth, but then —”
“That…is most social media.” His nose scrunched a bit, “Well… In the name of all transparency… Not just social media, but… Traditional media as well. Interviews and misquotes running amuck… I guess it’s not any better or worse.” His lips nudge to the side as his shoulders give in to a shrug. “I suppose I shouldn’t have downplayed it, especially since I didn’t know much about it… Until now, of course.” He looked at you with a smile, “You’re uh… You’re quite passionate, aren’t you?”
 Once again, you laughed, softly as the flash of your teeth showed in your smile. “Bit too much, huh? I, uh… I get like that, sometimes. A lot of people kinda reduce that to my assumed Latina temper flaring up. Or my spice. Y’know, quick to think it’s anger or me blowing a fuse and basically boiling it down to some… Perceived… I don’t know…” You were trying to find a neutral way to say it, to not sound like you were going to go on another tangent. But you were struggling.
But he seemed to understand, with the way his brown eyes took you in, taking a deep breath and let out a gentle smile. “I didn’t see a… I guess those people would say…” His lips in a light grimace, nose scrunching again, and brows furrowed. “…an angry woman…”
“…an angry Latina woman… That part’s important…”
“Right. So important… But… No, no. Not hot blooded or…flying off the handle…”
“Ready to grab a chancla and aim for the head…”
Lips twisting to a wide grin as a snicker left his lips, shaking his head, “No, no, none of that… Nothing as… I can only assume reductive or downright patronizing as all that.” Slipping his hands into his pockets of his jeans, he shrugged, “I just… I saw someone passionate about what she was talking about because… Well… I was belittling a whole platform. Very dismissive. Bit of a dick, actually, now that I think ‘bout it?” You both shared a laugh at that, “Erm… Which…” Lifting his hand over his heart, “I am sorry about… But even as you spoke, you… You were passionate because you cared. And… That’s such a good thing, y’know? You don’t…get a lot of that. A lot of caring and not like a bleeding heart kinda caring, it’s um…” Sucking in his breath, he shook his head, “I dunno. But just… Caring. I… I liked watching that, the whole thing.”
“You…” your brow arched, “You did? I… Thank you… So, not too much?”
Shaking his head, “No! Fuck, no. Nothing like that, absolutely no worries there. Almost makes me want to give it a chance — almost.” Reaching toward his back pocket, taking out a lighter and pack of cigarettes, “Oh, and fuck anyone that sees something like that and make you seem… Like a stereotype like that. I can’t… I can’t even imagine how fucking frustrating that is.” He chuckled, “Most of you, American lot, just think I’m adorable, or precious so…”
“Oh,” you started with a light chuckle. “Right, all baby girl and shit.”
His big brown eyes widened as his brows lifted, and an almost sorrowful look on his face. “Oh, God… No, they’re not… Not baby girl…” Letting out a sigh, looking at you in such dismay. “Surely not. No — Keery, maybe, but I—”
“Mm, afraid so. I think it’s the big brown doe eyes that gets the baby girl treatment.”
He huffed dramatically, puffing his cheeks as he did so, shaking his head. “Doe eyes? What, like Bambi eyes? Well, that’s… These damn chocolate button eyes… That’s disappointing. Well, no, it’s… It’s sweet I guess but…”
He furrowed his brow. “Baby girl? Really? I know the accent and the constant apologizing gets erm… Well, the whole, ‘oh, isn’t he precious?’ treatment, I get that, but…” He let out a sigh, leaning toward you. “I’m manly. Like clearly, I’m manly as hell.”
He watched as you handled that for about a split second before the snicker came rolling out of you.
His eyes widened as your eyes closed as you smiled wide, an actual laugh coming out. “Oi! No!” he let out, though you could hear the faintest trace of a chuckle in his tone. “Don’t laugh! You can’t be laughing at that, now. I am manly. I saved you, didn’t I?”
“I’m sorry!” you let out, still fighting back some laughs. “I’m not questioning your manliness, I swear, but… It is a little precious you’re so offended at the baby girl thing.”
He huffed out a laugh, teeth biting at the corner of his lower lip. “Well, not so much offended but… I dunno. Not exactly cool, is it? Not very impressive to be known as… Baby girl or… Being thought of… I’m a grown man.”
“No, no, I get that…” you relent, laughter subsiding, your eyes trailing over him. Part of you not quite believing it’s him, but the fact that Joseph Quinn was looking at you and not only that, was engaging in conversation, was ridiculous. But not unwelcomed. “Well, if it means anything, you are…deceptively buff, which is sort of making me question things.”
His grin was dangerous as he looked at you, eyes trailing towards his arms, the bicep mostly. You couldn’t help but notice the almost overly pleased look on his face as he went, “Yeah? Impressed, yeah? By the pythons?”
“Oh, god, okay…” You’re pleased that he snickers at his own words, “No one said anything about pythons. Let’s tone it down a little, but yes. I dunno, I guess with Eddie, I just thought you were…”
“Skinnier?” he supplied, allowing you to nod. “Fair. I mean, I was. Went on…a not fun diet to lose that weight and…” He gave a shrug, a chuckle escaping him. “Two years of my fucking life and I loved doing it, but erm…” He nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah, like being able to eat what I want nowadays,” letting out a soft groan, “Which… I’m really taking advantage these days. Especially here, at this place, the food—”
“Shit!” you let out, surprising you both. “Fuck. I was coming over here to order more food for my table.” Surprised that Jen and Gerry didn’t come looking for you, though you supposed your plate of fries were demolished by now. “Completely forgot. That’s…”
“Oh, you’re with someone?” he asked, and if your mind wasn’t hazy, you would have detected the slightly disappointed tone in his voice. His eyes flickering over you, cautious. “Like….?”
“My friends— Best friends, in fact. Who are…probably pissed I’m taking so long.” He seemed to relax at that, almost looking relieved, an observation you didn’t put much thought to, turning toward the counter, making eye contact with the bartender. “Hey! Plate of loaded fries, beef sliders and two cokes and one sparkling water with lime, please?” The bartender giving you a nod, making you heave a sigh of relief. “Can’t believe I flaked about that; it was literally the only reason I came over here.”
“Well, to be fair, you did almost die,” he let out, smiling a bit and lighting up his cigarette, finally, it seemed. Taking a deep inhale, smoke flew past his lips, away from you. “I’m sure they’ll understand and at least you didn’t forget completely.” Pausing a moment, he lifted his pack of cigarettes, “Sorry, do you…?”
“No, no, I don’t,” you watched as he froze, holding his cigarette in front of his lips and the familiar look of guilt on his face. “Oh, but you can, I’m not… I’m not bothered by it if you do. Seriously, I’m not gonna go into the dangers of smoking.” With a soft smile, you added, “You’re a grown man, after all. A manly man.”
He snorted, “Fuck off.”
“Aw! So precious.”
Joseph’s grin stretched further, his brown eyes looking at you with a spark of amusement though he tried his best to look stern. Taking a drag of the cigarette, blowing away from you. “You’re funny.”
“That’s what they tell me.”
“Well, because you are.” His shoulders giving you a little shrug, “It’s good. I…” A soft laugh exhaled from him, “I’ve genuinely been enjoying myself, so… Thank you for that.”
It genuinely made you smile, hearing that, digging into your wallet for your card, smiling still as you tapped it on the POS device laid in front of you. Using your finger for your digital signature, you paused after, turning your eyes back at him. “… Actually… Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, yeah,” he said, taking another drag, brown eyes all on you.
They really were like big doe eyes.
A smile on your face, you cleared your throat, licking your lips. “It’s just, um… Well, when I fell, it… It was kinda sudden, obviously, generally how falls go.”
He’s smiling, now, which, fuck him for doing that.
“And… It was pretty lucky that you caught me…”
Oh, there was something that flashed in his eyes, then. Which was interesting, in your mind. Not something you could decipher right away, though. Concern? No…
“I’m just… In a room full of people that straight did not even flinch at a woman tripping over… You reacted really quickly.” He was holding his breath, the only way you could really tell was the smoke lingering from within, before he exhaled, once more, away from you. “Were you like, heading toward the opposite direction and just — bam! There I went, or…?”
You watched as Joe took a deep breath, tongue poking out and licking his lips. “Erm…” he started, almost sheepishly. There was something in the way he wouldn’t look at your eyes, almost guiltily. “…something…like that…”
Raising your brows, those little words brought forth this curiosity clawing from within you. “…something like that?”
“Yup,” he gave you, popping that p for emphasis, giving a nod. “Definitely…” His eyes wandered, flickering toward you, just for a fraction of a second. “…something like that.”
The thing was… When his eyes flickered over to you just then… It wasn’t at your eyes, or your face… But… Somewhere a bit…lower than that… It was so quick, though, but the way he stood there in front of you, so different than moments earlier where it was calm and easy. Just casual and nice and now, fingers tapping at his hip and when his eyes did meet yours. His big chocolate button eyes seemed bigger.
Almost pleading. That’s when you knew.
Lips quirked into a smile, eyes lighting up. A surge of giddiness bubbled within the pit of your stomach and was quickly spreading throughout your body. Oh, this was good. This was too good. The summer’s favorite white boy, the one, quite ironically, dominating everyone’s TikTok’s for you pages, the one everyone was swooning over… He…
 “…oh my god.”
“I… No, that’s… I was…”
“…you were looking at my boobs.”
He scoffed, taking a step back and eyes wide. As if he was offended at the accusation. Which was fair, anyone that was called outright like you were doing would go for the offended defense. “I…” he started, his hand gripping at the edge of the bar’s counter, his other hand raised, forefinger pointed toward you. “I…” he repeated, his words halted as he brought his cigarette for one more drag before it went toward the ashtray, extinguished. “That… What I was doing was…”
“Oh, tell me,” you let out, arms crossed in front of you, over your stomach, purposefully giving your cleavage a bit more of a boost. “Tell me what you were doing?”
“I, well,” he said with a little nod. His eyes trained on your own, willing himself not to look down. “I’ll tell you, that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Okay. Cool. Let’s hear it. Love to hear it.”
“Well, we’re gonna. Yeah.” You chuckled, and he wanted to, but only cleared his throat, “Shut up, you see…” A momentary grin on his lips. Slowly, he pointed toward himself, “I… Right? Yeah. I was having a drink, right? Yeah, I was. And then, I was trying to meet up with a mate, so… I was going to go outside and… Y’know, text or call him.”
“Right,” you let out, giving a nod. “It’s so noisy here, so yeah, that makes sense.”
“Yeah! Right,” he said, brows raised. “Far too noisy, at least for a call. So, outside,” leaning toward the counter, his palm flat on the top of it. “So, getting off the stool, going about strolling toward the exit, yeah? And…” he snapped his fingers, “And then you come strolling toward the bar, and… Well…”
“…you saw my boobs.”
His lips stretched, teeth biting at the corner of his lip, refusing to look at you before letting out a, “…. stop saying that!” quite exasperatedly.
Which only made you laugh, and not kindly. Almost a cackle which only broke the dam as it were with Joseph, because his laugh came tumbling down.
“Am I wrong?” you let out in between the giggling — yes, you were giggling with this man. “I mean, it’s okay! It’s okay if you were! No judgement.”
He let out a groan, facing toward the counter and laid his head in his arms on top of it. Quite dramatically. Comically, which only made you chuckle more.
“Honestly, I’m not even offended by it.”
“God, you should be.” His voice slightly muffled, his hands resting at the back of his head, interlocking together. “…it’s not… It’s not like I make a habit of it—”
“I was just a special case? Aw!” You heard him groan, delving further into his arms and hands grasping each other tighter. “No, really, I’m honored that in place as crowded as this, my tits are the ones that stand out — well, not cold enough to stand out — but,” you let out a soft laugh at yourself and even amongst the music and the chatter, you swore you heard him chuckle, too.
“..it’s actually…kinda flattering.” Looking down at your chest, taking a deep breath to see your cleavage heave, chuckling a bit. “Makes me feel very Blanche Deveraux,” you add, putting on a very questionable Southern accent as close to the golden girl herself,” …like my breasts have the power to make music!” Your regular voice coming back as you finished, “It’s thrilling.”
He soon lifted his head from the counter, looking over at you with a furrowed brow. “…I feel like I’m supposed to know that reference, but I don’t…” Your brows shot up at that and it was well noted by him as he added, “….ah. And I should know that, I’m assuming. It’s upsetting you that I don’t.”
It was. Well, kind of. More shocked than anything, and it showed. “Do you…? Are you saying that you… You’ve never seen Golden Girls?”
“…oh,” he uttered softly, his back straightening. “I mean, I’ve heard of it. Kind of? Erm, like uh… Well, mostly heard of Betty White, like obviously. But not quite… Never really… Sat down and watched it—oh,” he reacted to how wide your eyes got at that, and the way your lips parted. “Oh, we’re very cross about that, are we?”
“I — yes! Very! You’ve — oh, that’s bad. You should fix that as soon as possible, Mr. Quinn. Because yeah, it’s gonna bug me until you do. Not that I’d know, but still…”
A snort left him, grinning from ear to ear, no doubt with how ridiculous you sounded. But it was worth it, at least you got to see those big doe eyes again. “I can tell it bothers you, so…” He shook his head with a chuckle, “I’ll erm… I’ll try and put it on the books, yeah? Just for you, though.”
“I mean… It’ll be more for your benefit than mine. No, seriously, we’ll probably never meet again but you will thank me, I’m sure of it.”
Taking a deep breath, he let out a soft hum, “Mmhm, I’m sure of it. I trust you. So… I’m guessing one of them has a…. Southern accent? That… That was what you were attempting, right?”
Dramatically placing a hand over your heart, you busted the accent out once again. “I do declare, Mister Quinn, are you doubtin’ my impeccable imitation of the great and late Blanche Elizabeth Deveraux, initials spelling B.E.D? Oh, fiddly-dee.” You saw his smile growing wider at every word that left your lips until it broke out in a laugh. “Hey!” you let out, laughing as well, “We’re not all Master of Accents like you clearly are, buddy. Some of us are scrambling without that fancy schooling.”
“Oh, no,” he bemoaned through a laugh, “…you saw that, did you?”
“Oh, yeah,” you let out gleefully. “That was… A tour de force. I… It was the Liverpool one that did it for me…”
“Hey. Oi. Like I said on there, mm? My mum is from Liverpool and….” His lips twitching into a smile, nodding his head, “…sounds just like that.”
“Yeah… You really shouldn’t be disrespecting your mum like that. Just… Just doing her wrong.” You laughed a little, licking her lips, “No, no, it was…” nodding slightly, “No, it was really good. You were very…charming, actually. Especially for your first talk show appearance. I mean, it was Fallon, but you made it work. I’m pretty sure you got more fans out of it. You did…. You did really good.”
The way he smiled struck you, and there was a softness in his eyes you weren’t expecting, either. You’d expected him to be showered on dozens of praise and accolades for his role of Eddie Munson, which would be richly deserved. But there he was, standing there as if your words were the first he ever heard. “That… Thank you,” he let out with an impish sort of smile. “That means a lot, actually.” Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he let out a sigh of relief. “So, not embarrassing, then? The accent bit was really rough.”
“Oh, yeah, you um…” you chuckled, “You had the uh… Red face thing going on through it.”
His face fell at that, “Oh, don’t tell me that. You’re joking, yeah? Like… Not…” Your lips stretched out in a smile which only made him let out a soft laugh. “I wasn’t that obvious, was I? Really?”
A snort left you, shrugging your shoulders, “I mean… It wasn’t like… Okay, maybe your ears got a little red, too,” you paused as a bark of a laugh escaped him, the sight of him covering his mouth with his hand almost sent you into a fit of giggles yourself. “Which was kinda a dead giveaway.”
“What? N—” shaking his head bewildered, a whiplash of emotions crossing his features, yet the smile was still there, still wide. “I… What? What do you mean dead giveaway?! I don’t have—my ears?!”
“Oh, god, you’re cute. Do you not know?”
“Yeah. Right. Fucking adorable, and no?! No, I don’t… What… Do I….” he furrowed his brows, a hand reaching toward his ears, feeling them a bit. “…people noticed my ears get red?”
“Howards End,” you let out as if it was easily explained, and by the look on his face, it was. “The kissing scene.”
Oh, he looked like a boy on Christmas. A laugh erupted from his lips and eyes wide, “Howards End?!” he let out, his voice pitched, and then making a quick recovery with a clearing of his throat. Crossing his arms, though his eyes remained wide as he gave a nod, “Howards End. You saw Howards End? I was in that.” You snorted, and he closed his eyes, brows furrowed. “Right, yeah, you know that already,” he chuckled, opening his eyes once more to look at that. “So… So… You watched Howards End.”
“Are you like… Are you surprised? Yeah. Yeah, I saw Howards End but I’m not gonna discuss it because I’ll just get angry.”
“Oh, really?”
“God, yes,” you respond, taking a deep breath, “Eat the fucking rich, that’s… That’s what I got out of it. Was that not the main theme? Oh, and justice for Leonard Bast.”
He giggled at that, actually giggled which, God… You wish you didn’t find it downright adorable. Shaking his head, running his hand through his hair and grabbing his shades in the process, “Sorry, sorry, that’s just… That’s mad I’m only really used to my past work, y’know, mentioned through like… Bullshit networking and the like, not genuinely — So, red ears, got it.”
Your brows furrowed, “Wait… No, don’t buy it.” He looked at you confused, prompting you to explain. “Come on, I mean, it’s not like it’s totally obscure and like… You have a few things under your belt, I mean… People had to have mentioned your other stuff. I know everyone’s all… It’s all about Eddie Munson right now, I mean, the photo of you as Eddie with the horns and tongue is plastered all over the con, but… I mean… People have seen your other stuff. I know they have; I’ve seen people talk about your other stuff so, no, I don’t buy it.”
He tilted his head, raising his shoulders in a shrug, “I mean, yeah, but… I dunno, it’s just… Just sort of feels like they’re just being nice about it. But much of the time… Yeah, yeah, they’re…” He smiled, shaking his head, “It’s…. all about Eddie. Which is great!” he ended, holding his hand up. “I mean, it’s mad, but… I get it, he…” A bewildered laugh escaped him. “It’s…kinda special, hearing about… The other roles. I dunno, still getting used to it?” He shrugged, “I dunno. But erm, thank you, erm… Not sure for what, for… I guess…” He snorted, “Watching Howards End, I suppose. And angry on Leonard Bast’s behalf. Um…” With an amused expression, he raised his brows, “Not a nice ending for him.”
“If I think about it hard enough, I go in a rage, so, no,” the both of you chuckling at that. “Not nice, no.” Licking your lips, you can’t help but ask, “So… How’s it going, then? The whole… Madness of all the attention suddenly on you? How are they treating you?”
“Oh,” he let out, a sense of surprise in his tone, brows raising a bit. “Erm… Yeah, no, yeah, it’s been great.” Nodding a bit, letting out a soft laugh. “Yeah, no, it’s been good, bit new to it but, yeah, no. It’s been lovely, actually. So… Yeah, great.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yup,” he said, popping the p. “Really, really great. Really. Good fun and… Yeah,” nodding with a smirk. “Been awesome.”
You smile at that, crossing your arms in front of you. “Oh, it’s been awesome.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh huh… Tell me that one more time and I’ll believe you.”
He snorted at that, hands going into his pockets. “I… It has been…” The longer he looked at you, at your face, you could see his face cracking. A broad grin stretched along his face as his eyes lifted toward the ceiling and he let out a groan. “Oh, god, why do I wanna be honest with you, that can’t be good…”
You chuckled a bit, “I got one of those faces, I guess… No, really, if you don’t want to, that’s fine, but if you do… I promise, it stays between us. I mean, look at me, I have an honest face, it goes both ways.”
Taking a deep breath, he scratched the side of his neck. “Okay… Okay, well… Erm… It’s… Different?” His lips stretched tightly. “It’s mad, y’know, like I said. But… I’m enjoying it. Y’know, enjoy meeting so many people and… having that much of an impact, it’s… It’s um…”
“…a lot.”
“Oh, god, it’s so much more than I thought when I signed on,” he let out in a relieved tone. “Yeah, it’s exciting. Being in the business for as long as I have and never experiencing anything like this, I…” He let out a breath. “It’s fuckin’ amazing and… It’s not anything I’ve experienced before. I… Usually I just do a job and then I go home and maybe it shows up on the telly or on a screen, maybe, but…” He shook his head, looking at you. “Nothing like this — my face is plastered everywhere and… Yes, it’s exciting and I am loving it, don’t get me wrong — God, it feels weird saying this I don’t even…” He licked his lips, “It’s… It’s an adjustment, I guess. But I’m learning, so, that’s… That’s good, isn’t it?”
You nodded, offering a shrug, “Best you can do, really.” You watched as he gave a nod. “And I get it… I mean… It must be such a mind fuck. They talk about break out roles but, you don’t really have any clue how real that is until… I guess… It happens. And it definitely happened with you and… It’s a lot. It must be. I, personally, didn’t even know you existed a few months ago,” you ended with a laugh.
He snorted at that, “Oh, cheers! That’s… That’s lovely.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not just me, so… Saying that, like…” You paused, taking a deep breath. “Do I say this on the risk of inflating your ego…”
“Yes,” came the immediate response. “Please, I’m very needy with praise and I… Kinda… Said way too much already, so… I would appreciate it beyond words. Praise me.”
Grinning a bit, you shook your head, “For someone that hasn’t watched Golden Girls, you are giving Blanche vibes right now…”
“I… Sure, why not?”
Chuckling a bit, you leaned against the counter, looking over at him. “…if anyone deserved a breakout role, it’s you.”
His brows shot up at that, which made you smile.
“I’ve seen your other stuff, two of which before I even watched Stranger Things, by the way.”
Oh, his brows shot wide up at that, and you rolled your eyes as he propped his arm on the counter, resting his chin within the palm of his hand.
“In fact… Oh, God… Okay… I might have started watching Stranger Things because… I… I was impressed with your acting in…two of your works…”
“You did not.” His voice disbelieving to say the least, making you laugh, though he carried on. “That’s — No, no, no, that ridiculous you did not… C’mon, you’re taking the piss now.”
“I’m not! I’m serious. I didn’t even go looking for it, I was just binging and bam, there you were, the stranger things guy with the hair! I swear,” placing your hand over your heart. “Cross my heart and all that. It was like… Kismet or some shit.”
A hearty laugh came out of him, eyes practically wide as saucers. “Oh my god, that’s… That’s so funny… What… What two shows…?”
“Catherine the Great,” you listed off, lips scrunched to the side, “Mm, Prince Paul was…. I mean… At the time was… It was okay,” he snorted at that, nodding a bit. “But, y’know, I’ve kinda warmed up to Paul since then, but it was good and I was like, okay, not bad.”
“That seems to be the general impression I give off, yeah.”
“Shut up,” you fired back with a laugh. “But then… I kept going through my binge and I came across a series named Strike. Or, C.B. Strike here in the states, which is weird, I know, but… It seemed interesting so I got into it.” You smiled, “And then the second season came and… Wouldn’t you know? It’s that guy again.”
“Loving it.”
“Yeah? Well, I don’t know if it’s because I saw you in Catherine the Great first or whatever, but, as soon as you popped on the screen…?” A breathless laugh escaped you, remembering the moment as you shook your head. “It was… Different. And… Honestly, your whole performance was just…” Looking up at him with a smile, “You were amazing. Like… I was really watching… Acting, you know? I mean, obviously, yes, I was, but… Really… Seeing it in action, like… I don’t know. Not like I’m an expert but, it was just really… Captivating and… I couldn’t look away. I was… I was in complete awe of you.”
His grand smiles were gone, the broad grins as well, but there was something a bit softer that replaced it. A look of genuine awe in his eyes as he looked at you. You expected some quip of self-deprecation, but he was staring at you in silence for a moment, and suddenly his smile grew. Threatening to claim his entire face as he let out a huff of a laugh. “Sorry, that was… Erm… Fuck. I don’t even get that kinda feedback from my mum,” he tried to cover with a laugh, though his gaze at you seems a bit dazed. Fingers scratching at the scruff of his cheek. “I… Yeah, I put a lot of work on Billy, that… It wasn’t a lead role or all that meaty a role, but… Seems to have put on an impression on some and…” He nodded a bit, smile still in place. “It’s very sweet and… I’m glad it did. Thank you, really.”
It touched you that your words seemed to touch him, making you smile. “Well, no, it wasn’t the lead role or anything but… It was meaningful. And if it was any other actor, it wouldn’t be. You got talent, something I’m sure has been said over and over to you, but—”
“I’m very needy so even if it was, I wouldn’t get tired of hearing it.”
“Yeah, well, you are an actor, so that tracks,” you joked, making him laugh a bit, leaning back on his seat. “But yeah, I was so impressed that I binged the whole show, just to see you in action in the role so many fell in love with. And I… I thought it wouldn’t be so bad. Since, you know, I already knew he’d die at the end, so I was like, not gonna love him. Won’t hurt as much, right? Yeah… Did not make it past the cafeteria scene, so…”
“Oh, you like them obnoxious, then.”
“Hey, you call him obnoxious, I call him dramatic and yes, I fucking love dramatic men, but, only if they make me laugh.”
He seemed to take keen interest in that. “So, you like your men more dramatic or funny?”
Letting out a hum, you considered that. There was a key difference there, you knew. “I guess out of the two… I’d have to go with funny. I’d rather laugh than be frustrated because some guy couldn’t act right or be chill about things. Anything is pretty much forgivable if the person makes me laugh. Means we’re having a good time.”
He nodded a that, though you shook your head, “Anyway, my original point — You’re very talented, and that’s coming from someone that didn’t even knew your name not even three months ago and… Your acting, it should be recognized, you put in a lot of work with your portrayals, and it shows and… I’m glad you’re having your breakout moment. I really am… And you should enjoy it. All of it.”
He smiled at that, another one of those gentle smiles that made his eyes shine, you swore it did. “That’s… Thank you. I really do appreciate that. More than you know, really. And I am! I’m enjoying it. Still a bit mad, but… I’m enjoying it, I promise.”
“Good… I’m glad of that.” Taking a deep breath, you looked around. “How many cons have you done so far?”
“Oh… Erm… God, I think… This is my third one? Still a bit green…”
“Well, I’m a bit more seasoned than you, so,” you huff out a soft chuckle. “Make sure you’re hydrated, like seriously, even if the water’s warm, just take it if it’s offered by the staff. Same with food, though if you can hit someplace outside of what the staff provide… Do it. I mean, what they give you is good enough but… If you want to enjoy your time, it helps. Also? Snacks. Snacks are so important; you have no idea. If you can’t get a full meal and your breaks aren’t cutting it? Get you some snacks. Obviously not ones that need refrigeration and shit, but like, a little trail mix, if you wanna be healthy. Uh... Some chips or…crisps, whatever. I’m a sucker for chocolate myself. Or cookies. Sweets, it’s not…. healthy but, god, makes the day worth it. Also? Do not skimp on your breaks. I know the temptation to skip them comes but like… You, Mr. Popular, have a lot of folks coming just for you. I walked through the convention earlier and there’s a sea of Hellfire shirts all around,” you chuckled. “You need your breaks.”
“You’re adorable,” he let out, and it wasn’t clear if he meant to say it or not, but he was smiling throughout your little guide to surviving a con. “You’re actually giving me advice, that’s… Very helpful, yeah, but… Also… You’re adorable.”
Your brows lifted, “Adorable?” Scoffing lightly. “Adorable. Really?” Holding your hand up, you added, “Hey, this is sound advice, I’ll have you know.”
“Oh, it sounds it! I’m not disputing that, no, no, it’s really good advice and all that, it’s just,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “Sorry, just erm…” He shrugged, “I dunno! It’s… It’s sweet… Y’know, telling me all that. Which I’ll take to heart, absolutely. It is sound advice.” He winked, actually winked at you with a smile, “Thanks for looking out for me.”
He dared to call your advice adorable, but the wink he gave? That was adorable, making your lips twitch with a wider smile than you intend to let out. “Yeah, well…” Lips pursed together as you made a side glance toward nothing at all, just away from him. “You did save me, so… The least I can do to help make this con better for you.” Taking a breath, “Even though you only really saved me because you were being a big ol’ perv.”
“Oi,” he interjected with his big brown eyes wide, though any offense to your words were quickly dispelled with a laugh that breathed past his lips. “No, that… That is only because… You…. You got tits that make music or…whatever the fuck you said in that… Questionable accent.”
You felt bold at that, emitting a gasp and actually laid a hand on him. Not because you were falling, and he was there. Because you wanted to, it felt the most natural thing in the world to take your hand and smack his arm just like that.
And he, it seemed, felt natural enough for him to put on a wince, pull the struck shoulder back, his face a complete mockery of a pained expression as he let out an exaggerated, “Ow.”
“Shut up, that did not hurt.”
“Ahhh,” he exaggerated, rubbing where you had struck him. “Tell that to my arm, that’s going to be a bruise — Netflix is going to have a word with you about that.”
“Okay, well, it was in defense of my superior Blanche impression and big words from the man that attempted a Scottish accent, the supreme of accents by the way and ended up lisping it—” you ended with a laugh only to join his when a figure was seen out of the corner of your eye.
Turning it, you saw a young woman standing there, staring at the both of you. “Oh, hey, sorry am I blocking you from the bar or…?”
“Oh… Uh… No, I just… Um…” She was gripping something in her hand, looking from you to Joseph who had straightened up and offered a smile. “Oh. Oh, wow. I… Hi.”
“Hi, how are you?” he pushed out with a gentle smile, and a voice even gentler. Different than what you were hearing in your conversation. His eyes were on her, looking directly at her, into her eyes as if she was the only one in the room. “Enjoying yourself, darling?”
It amused you.
This was him in work mode, you realized, as you leaned back and looked on. The girl seemed taken by him, of course. How could anyone not? He was good, especially for someone so green in these sorts of affairs.
“I… Uh, yeah, yeah, I’m having a great time. Are… Are you…? Having a great time….?”
He smiled brightly, and you swore you saw his eyes light up. “I’m doing absolutely lovely, my dear.” The woman between the two of you looked absolutely starstruck, gripping on the hardcover book she had in her hands — … wait.
You knew that book.
Your eyes peering at the cover, eyes widened as if viewing an old friend… Because, as it turned out, you were. “That’s my first book.”
It was as if you broke his spell and her bright eyes looked away from him and straight toward you, a brighter smile on her face. “Oh! Yeah! Sorry, I…” Turning her attention to Joe, her smile turned sheepish. Embarrassed, even. “I just um… I wasn’t expecting you, when… When I was coming over I just…” She gave a shrug, “I only saw her —” And with a turn towards you, she clarified, “You. Um… This is going to sound really… Like… Stalker-y? It’s not! I swear it’s not —”
“To be fair that’s what most stalkers would say but go on…” you replied cautiously.
She let out a laugh, “God, I know. Sorry, it’s just… The prices for the con went up and like… It was just too much for me to buy tickets? But um… I knew this was the closest bar and it’s not like I came specifically in case you happened to come in, I’m out with my friends, we were gonna be in the area and its good food but on the off chance you did…” She held out the book towards you, “…could I…. I mean, could you… sign it?”
Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Joseph raise his brows in surprise and confusion — but a bit of amusement there, too. Not like he was upset to be slightly upstaged now, but a bit surprised. You could practically see his big brown eyes taking in your name on the cover, only causing his eyes to grow wider if even possible. This didn’t really happen a lot to you, not before your TikTok took off and there was a face to the name. Your smile stretched wide, and you took hold of a copy of your first of your series, nostalgia hitting you and remembering how excited you were to hold the very first copy as given to you by your publisher all those years ago.
That was a different you, then. Excited. Mind brimming with ideas and plots and characters to take the reader for a whirlwind adventure of romance and unabashed sex. Your smile turned wistful as you looked at your main heroine, or the silhouette of her, she was still abstract, except for in your words. You remembered it was important, for readers to have an idea of what she looked like, tickled by the thought of a version of your heroine would be born in every readers’ head. Never quite the same, always a bit unique and different, a bit of themselves in her while reading of her story, of her life. That was important to you.
Your eyes lifted from the book, your book, and to the woman that placed it in your hands. Taking a deep breath, lifting your brows, you went, “So… You couldn’t afford to meet me in the convention at my table, so you decided to come here on the off chance I was here and get your book signed for free?”
Oh, the look on her face. You couldn’t keep it up even if you tried.
“I respect it, that’s really smart, actually… Good on you, I���d do the exact same thing,” you smiled as you saw the relief flooding her face. “Yeah, of course, god, it’s been forever since I’ve even seen this edition…” You smiled, observing the book, “Oh, nice, this is well worn down, the spine’s definitely taken a beating.”
She laughed, giving a nod, “Yeah, it’s… It’s honestly my favorite. I love the rest of the series but… The first one’s just… It’s special to me. It’s just the start of everything and like… I loved the emotions when I read it for the first time and it’s nice to remember that sometimes… Does that sound weird?”
“God, no, absolutely not. That’s…really fucking flattering, actually… Uh, I don’t have a pen or Sharpie with me, do you…?”
A silver Sharpie was produced in front of you with her eager hand, chuckling as you took it, “Thanks,” opening the book and to the first blank page.
“What’s your name?” Hearing it, you gave a nod, scribbling in your neatest handwriting the name and a little personalized message with your signature. Smiling broadly, you handed the book and marker with her, “There you go, thanks for reading, it honestly… It means a lot; you guys don’t even know.”
“Oh my God… Please, thank you for…” She shook her head, “Thank you,” taking a moment to read what you wrote, and the smile on her face was well worth it as she closed it gently and held it against her chest. “I am sorry I couldn’t make it into the actual convention, though…”
“No, it’s expensive, I totally get it. If I wasn’t invited, I probably wouldn't bother. It’s cool you thought of this, though. Even if it…” You gave a light shrug, “…It… It is a bit stalker-y but just a little bit,” raising your hand and showing just how little with your thumb and forefinger. “Just a bit.” You both chuckled, “But no, it’s totally lovely to meet you. I’m glad you got the book signed despite the struggle over the wallet being very real. Have a great night, okay?”
“Thanks,” she smiled, turning around but stopping, making a sharp turn, “Oh, and happy birthday! I saw your latest TikTok, kinda cool to celebrate the weekend at the con, right?”
“TikTok,” you heard Joseph let out as he sat back, arms crossed looking between the two of you. “…you have a TikTok.”
Your lips stretched wide as you fought the urge to not roll your eyes. “I do have a TikTok. A very handy one that reaches a lot of people that would maybe help in getting my work out there and voice heard.”
“Ah, well, I did hear it’s very good for that sort of thing.”
“Oh, it’s great,” she said, not quite getting what you and Joe were talking about. “I loved the readings you do from the past books and the stuff with Jen and sometimes Gerry and… Yeah, it’s great. Um… Though… Are you thinking about the next book?” She winced at herself, “Sorry, is that like… You’ve probably been asked that before.”
Oh, she had no idea....
“…it’s a popular one, yeah… There are thoughts and ideas, for sure. Work in progress, you know how those things are. But I don’t have a definite date yet. So…” Oh, God. You put on a smile, and a nod, “We’ll see.”
“Awesome,” she let out, and then, nervously, looking at Joseph. “…would I be pushing my luck if I asked for a pic?” Her smile turning nervous, “I… I really loved Eddie, um. I cried when he died… You were so good; I really hope you come back next season.”
It was amazing to see the switch come on, a smile that was broad but still polite, almost guarded came over his face, a gentle gaze thrown at her. “Thank you, that’s very sweet of you to say. It’s lovely how much you all seem to welcome Eddie and I’m so thankful for that. I…” he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head, “I honestly don’t know about next season, erm… I haven’t heard anything yet but…” He gave a shrug, taking a quick glance at you, a smile twitching at his lips as he turned to her and said, “We’ll see. And no, you’re not pushing your luck at all, I’d love to take a selfie with you.”
From the look of her face, it almost seemed like Christmas, watching as they posed together, Joseph holding up the camera and waiting for the perfect shot before he took it. Handing her phone over back to her, she suddenly looked at you with that same nervous look to her. Making you chuckle and giving a nod, taking her phone and taking a picture with her as well.
Soon, she turned and left the both of you alone together once again.
As alone as two people in a crowded bar could be, anyway.
But as he looked at you, a cocky smile spread over his face, raising his brows, chuckling low. “So,” he started, a toothy grin across his face. “You’re a writer.”
The smile on your face was wide, brimming with your amusement as you gave a nod. “… Yes, I am a writer.”
Crossing his arms in front of him, he let out a soft laugh. “I… I had no idea.”
You gave a shrug, “I mean… How could you? Not like I’m out here with a big old fashioned, 1920’s typewriter strapped to my back or anything.”
He snorted at that, teeth flashing in his smile, giving in to a nod. “No, you’re definitely not… I suppose… The advice you gave me about being at these conventions… Not as an attendee, then.”
A laugh escaped you, a gentle shake of your head given as you look at him. “…no, definitely not. Just part of the Con hustle like you — well, not just like you. I mean, you actors get a lot more action than we pitiful authors ever will…”
Oh, his brows shot up so fast at that, eyes wide — almost as wide as his mouth as they spread into the broadest smile you had ever seen on a person. A spluttering laugh escaping him, “Oh? Us actors? Really? You’re going with that?”
“Oh, you’re gonna deny it? We can go back to that convention center, if you want, and see how many pictures of you are plastered all over and see if it’s in the double digits.”
“Oh,” his brows furrowed, looking quite discontent at the mere suggestion of that. “Oh, fine, you win, just… Please, please, let’s not, yeah?” A small, breathy laugh slipped from him. “I’m pretty sure that picture will then just burn into your brain and that’s all you’d think at the mention of me and — no, no, no, no, don’t want that.”
Lips twitching into a smile you were trying to hold back, giving an understanding nod. “Mm, yeah… Really regretting the devil horns and the tongue pose, huh?”
“…yeah, people’ve really clung to that…”
“It’s a good pose! To be fair, and really great in the scene.”
“Well, I thought so! Still do. But… It’s really something walking and seeing that picture staring at you all over.”
“Which proves my earlier point. Your lines are… Way longer than mine will ever be, so… To bring us back to the original point… Us pitiful authors are more likely to not be recognized than you actors that are so well loved and pretty enough to be recognized—”
“Aw, you think I’m pretty?”
You laughed, a bit harder than you intended, eyes looking at him as you felt a warmth traveling up your face. Licking your lips, clearing your throat, “—I’m… I’m saying… It’s more natural that you’d be recognized more than like… Well, me. So, you know, if you’re feeling bad about it… Well, that’s stupid, don’t do that.”
He grinned at that, a soft chuckle joining in as his eyes looked down a moment, and you swore, you swore you saw his ears gain a slight reddish tinge of color before he looked up at you again. “…I’ll admit, I was feeling a bit of a twat which, well… I practically feel that every moment of my fucking life one way or another, but…” He smiled, “In this case, I’ll…try not to. Which is difficult.”
“Ah… Right…. The British thing, huh?”
That earned an immediate laugh, his eyes looking at you incredulously. He paused a moment, his smile widening further. “…you’re…working through your birthday. How American of you.”
“Pfft, not as if this is anything remotely classified as hard labor. You’ve clearly never worked an hourly wage job, huh?”
“Excuse me?” he said, a touch of offense in his tone and by the expression on his face. “You don’t know me. I could have been a hard-working lad.”
“Did you, then?”
He paused, lips parted, and an ever-growing smile on his face. “… no, but I could’ve done.” You laughed. “You can’t go just assuming things is my point.”
“Yeah, okay, fair.” Giving him a nod, “A fair point. And, yeah,” you admitted with a sigh. “I voluntarily chose to be here during my birthday weekend.” Giving a shrug, “Girl’s gotta eat. And, honestly, worse places to be on your birthday. I’m kinda fond of this convention. Meet up with a lot of fellow authors, and yes, the readers are great, it’s really cool to connect and see who is still willing to read my shit, so…”
“Well,” he interjected, nodding toward where one of your readers had sat down. “She seemed quite interested, so, I can see why you enjoy doing this.”
“And it’s local for me, too. So not much of a hassle, just drove here from home… Gonna drive back after some food… And yes, I get a bit of money and an ego boost so it might as well be on my birthday — don’t ask me how old, I won’t say.”
“Oh, no, I would never. My mum would never allow that if she knew, so no, won’t be doing that.”
You chuckled, “…you really are a mama’s boy, aren’t you?”
He snorted, “The sexiest thing in the world to be, I’m sure… But… Well, yeah, guess I am, a bit… That entirely make me sound like a… I dunno, a… It’s not sexy, is it? Like, I’m some man child or… Someone unappealing? Need to cut the cord sort of thing? Which I have! I am… Live by myself and all that, I just… Well… It’s my mum, you know? And yeah, I adore her.”
You were impressed he fully admitted to favoring his mum, most guys you’ve hung around with wouldn’t have. Gerry did, and Gerry was definitely classified as a mama’s boy from the get-go, but he entirely did not count in your eyes. That, coupled with the fact that the way in which Joseph asked was… Genuine. Vulnerable, even. And the way he did speak about his mum… That made him a very dangerous man.
Chuckling softly, you shook your head. “Doesn’t sound unappealing at all. It’s… It’s kinda… It’s the sweetest, actually.”
His eyes seemed to soften, sparked by his smile as his fingers stroked along his bearded jaw. “Yeah? Well,” placing his hand down, giving you a challenging look. “Sweet is hardly sexy, though, is it?”
Letting out a hum, your shoulders lift in a small shrug towards him, “Could be to some people.”
Licking his lips as he became silent for a few fleeting seconds, used, in his head, to ponder the point of even asking what was swirling in his head. Staring at you, the inside of his cheek nestled between his side teeth, deciding if he really wanted to know and just by how much, but he asked it anyway — “Is it, to you?”
You wanted to laugh.
Just… Laugh.
Your eyebrows lifted, of course. Lips twitching a bit, to the point where your teeth bit into the flesh of your bottom lip. There was even a feeling of heat traveling up your neck. Joseph Quinn are you seducing me? echoed in your head, which only added to the whole hilarity of the moment and made you want to laugh even more.
Lips parted, though your mind went blank. Reassurance that he was just being funny was screaming in your head, that it was a joke, that he was just being kind. Crossing your arms in front of you, a laugh did escape you, but more of a huff rather than the complete guffaw you wanted to let out. The thought was too much — he was being too much with those eyes of his, peering at you like that. His head tilted back slightly, and you swore his eyes scanned your face, somewhat wolfish in the manner.
Worse?
He licked his god damn lips.
Fuck him.
“Could be,” you finally answer, repeating your earlier words. “Depending on the person.”
He exhaled through his nose in a huff, smile shown on that unfair face of his. He bit the corner of his lip, giving a nod, “So, definitely not a deal breaker?”
“As long as they don’t call me mommy or…try and make me into their mom in some weird, Oedipus kink sort of situation… No, no, not a deal breaker.”
“N—“he started, but a chuckle interrupted his words for a moment, shaking his head. “No, no, that would be… Yeah, Oedipus kink is a fair deal breaker…” Looking at you a moment, he took in a deep breath. “Do you like chocolate?”
“…um,” furrowing your brows and letting out a laugh. “I… I don’t really trust anyone that says they don’t, even a little bit. Outside of allergies, of course.”
“Right, of course. So, but are you a big fan of it? Like… Is it your favorite?”
“God, yes. I can never have enough chocolate, I will do…ungodly things for chocolate. Why?”
He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, pointing toward the kitchen. “They… They have this like, chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake here that is…” his words trailed off, shaking his head in almost disbelief, “…the most…delicious thing I’ve ever tasted. Not too sweet, but still indulgent and just… Absolutely amazing… And… I… Yeah, just realized I’m trying to sell you on something you’ve most likely already had probably so many times, haven’t you?”
There was such a pitying look on your face, “…you looked so excited telling me all that…”
“Fuck,” he let out, leaning back in his seat. “Really thought I was doing something, there… Shit.” He ended with a soft laugh, rubbing the side of his neck. “It’s fucking delicious though, isn’t it?”
“Oh,” you let out, leaning against the back of your chair, “I would give my first born for an endless supply of that cheesecake, yeah. Favorite is the caramel drizzle on top.”
He laughed, more at ease, “Well, I don’t…really have a need for a first born at the moment, but… And seeing as you’ve pronounced caramel properly and the right way—”
“God, you are so British.”
“Yes, I am, now, shut up,” he chuckled, licking his lips. “…let me buy you a slice of that cheesecake. I won’t ask for a candle but, well… It is your birthday, and you are valiantly working through it… So…?”
An immediate smile came across your face, and it was in that moment you noted the light stinging of your cheeks, alerting you to just how much you were smiling within this interaction. Much more than you had in quite a while.
That could be enough, couldn’t it?
It wouldn’t be right to just accept it right away. So said some residual bullshit of pride in not seeking gifts from men you just met or accepting things so easily rose in you. One that mainly came from growing up in a family that was that prideful, the words of your older sister and maybe even your mother bubbled up. “You don’t have to do that…”
“I know. But I want to,” he said oh so casually. “Cheaper than drinks,” he joked with a light chuckle. “And I mean… More indulgent, I think… And, yes, you were right, I was…so…looking at your boobs like some fucking caveman and I need to rectify that.”
You laughed at that, causing his face to flush a bit.
“So, please…” he didn’t even ask again, looking toward the bartender, raising a hand. “Can you add that lovely chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake to her order? I’ll pay for it or — actually, just add it to my tab, I should be sorting it out, already, thanks.”
It wasn’t normal, how that last part made your heart sink a bit. “Heading off?”
Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you swore you saw a hint of regret on his face. “Yeah, really should meet up with my mate. I really was on my way to do that, just…” He smiled at you. “Got a bit distracted.”
Giving out a nod, you hummed, “That does happen.”
“Mmhm,” he let out, taking his wallet from his pocket, the card reader placed in front of him. “So,” he started, whipping out his credit card and going forward with the payment. “You’re a writer. What do you write about, then?”
Ah, yes.
You were wondering when that question would come out. There were a lot of ways to go about it, flowery words — vague words that you knew others in your field typically went toward when someone not in your field would ask that question. Thing was… You never really got along with those that skirt around it, instead, admired those bold enough to be direct. Because that’s what you were at times.
Blunt and direct.
“Oh… Lady porn, basically.”
His credit card stilled in mid-air, just inches away from the tap icon and you watched with amusement — it was entirely out of amusement — as he seemed to freeze right on the spot. Perhaps he hadn’t heard you right. A trick of the ears, of you telling him something completely different to what he heard. Tap went the card, hearing the light chirp of the machine before the card was lifted once more, tapping the no receipt option and his eyes — oh, his eyes! They blinked, more than a few times as his hands returned his credit card back to his wallet, and you could tell the words lady porn were repeating themselves over and over in his head.
Slowly, he turned to look at you as his wallet was once more in his pocket, a look of confusion taking root on his face, licking his lips. “…what...?” Shaking his head, “Sorry, but I thought I heard…. What?”
Oh, it was too funny.
Your lips stretched into a grin, forcing you to bite your lower lip before you repeated yourself. “I…write lady porn for a living. That’s what I do, that’s why they invite me.”
“…lady porn.”
“Mmhm.”
His lips twitched into the smallest of smiles, eyeing you up and down. “…what, like… Uh… Playboy or, er, Playgirl or something like that…?”
You burst out laughing at that, covering your mouth, “No!”
His smile broke out, a brightness in his eyes as he, too, burst out laughing. “Well! What do you mean by that — Lady porn?! What does that…? I don’t understand, I saw a book!”
You had covered your face as your shoulders shook. Prompting his brows to raise in a look of total offense he couldn’t even muster to look genuine.
“Don’t laugh, please don’t laugh at me. What does that mean?” His tone was desperate, elevating in pitch that, you had to admit, was quite cute.
“It means I do write books. I write erotic books. Erotica. Like… Total literary porn but with a good dash of plot if anyone even reads them for that. I’m not strictly in the adult entertainment industry like that, although…”
You gave a shrug, thinking about it, “It’s not a bad idea… I could probably write the hell of a porn scene, like… Passionate, definitely made for women type of stuff. But no, not me, I just… I write characters or a character that is pretty free with her inhibitions and unapologetically likes sex and likes it a lot. So… yeah, that’s me.”
“Right…” He chuckled, nodding a bit, “Okay… Yeah, that… That’s makes more sense…” His lips spread in a smile as he looked at you. “I wasn’t really expecting that…”
“I mean, I could have said romance which is definitely the blanket term which…” You sighed, “I mean, I guess, technically I could say that… Less of a reaction if I did, I’m sure… But…” A soft shake of your head comes, “The ones that try and blanket their work as romance always seem…”
Licking your lips as you try to come up with the right words. “I don’t know… Kind of ashamed of their work. Like if it’s about sex, it’s… Cheap… Tawdry form of art or… The dreaded ‘not real writing’. Like if the story of two people meeting, connecting with one another in the most primal and human way is somehow less than if that same story were told but the focus not being about sex but instead the focus being this…” You sighed, “I don’t know, flowery, almost virginal point of view with characters that are just perfect and have no flaws. Selling on the story of true love fixes all when… Sometimes love just isn’t enough. I get the appeal, don’t get me wrong, we all want a little fantasy but… I don’t know, there’s just this double standard in the industry. That to be seen as a true writer, you can’t make the emphasis on passion and desire, but you are if what you write about is how someone completes you and I…”
His smile was gentle, warm, the chuckle escaping him matched it. “That’s… That’s not you.”
“No…” you answered, a sly smile to your face. “I’m not or ever will be ashamed that I write hot ass smut.”
“I…” he started, his grin wide and eyes twinkling with utter amusement. “I can’t say for sure or not, but I definitely don’t doubt it.” Brows raising in thought, his smile turning a bit mischievous, “Then again… I could go ahead and buy your books, couldn’t I? To know for sure, completely and without question…”
Taking in a deep breath, ignoring the sense of panic at the mere thought of him reading your work, you tried to play it cool, shaking your head. “Oh, I don’t know if you could handle it, honestly? I mean… Your immediate go to for porn were playboy, or, er, playgirl… You’re kinda behind the times.”
“Oh, am I?” his face still the perfect image of amused. “Would you rather I whip out names like, brazzers or something?”
A dramatic eye roll given, “God, you would go for brazzers. All men go for brazzers.”
“Oh, is that unoriginal for you? And you would go for…?”
“Mmm… Nubiles, Vixen… Adult Time can be good… For straight, porn, anyway. Bellesa is doing good...” You look at his face and you laugh. “Am I shocking you that I know this many labels of porn creators?”
“A bit, yeah!” he barked out with a laugh. “I, erm… Just that… You watch porn.”
“I write porn, so of course I watch it. How else am I supposed to write out the sexual depravity that my readers secretly yearn for but would never say out loud? That’s my job, I give it to them, make them explore a bit of themselves they never voiced or would even admit to their own damn selves. It’s selfless work.”
He practically giggled. You made this man giggle. Looking incredulously at you, leaning back, shaking his head, “Oh, now I’ve got to read your stuff. It’s a need, now. As soon as we…ever finish this conversation, I’m going to my kindle. Though, I do like the physicality of reading an actual book most of the time…”
“Well, I am selling them in the dealer’s room… I even have an in for them to be personally signed by the author. She’s hard up for money and attention, so…” You shrugged.
His hand dramatically smacked against his own chest, right over his heart, “I would be honored to have personally signed copies of that particular author’s works. I heard very good things. And then I can fully understand what the fuck is lady porn and see if I become a whole new man after I do.”
“Love to hear it, if you manage it over the weekend… At least your taste in porn would improve.”
His ears were burning, smiling wide and looking down for a moment. Positively bashful at the comment, licking his lips. “Did that, um… Probably not, I mean, you just admitted to watching a fair bit of it, but um… I mean… Though you are sort of insulting my supposed lack of porn knowledge—”
“Supposed? Are you saying you’ve seen more than you’ve let on?”
The smirk he let out was like that of a young schoolboy that was up to no good. “…no. Well… Maybe—I mean, if I did, would that… Would you…” He huffed a small laugh, “I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, it feels ridiculous…”
“Oh,” you let out, quickly understanding. “Are you, like… Are you worried whatever version of you inside my head is shattered on the fact that… I don’t know… That you watch porn, even basic porn, and are not, in fact, squeaky clean bordering on virginal?”
“…basically, yeah.”
You had to laugh, even a little bit, “Oh, you’re cute.”
“Stop it.”
“No,” you laughed. Realizing you needed to elaborate on that singular no. “I mean… No, there is no…shattering of whatever image of you out there or… I’m not disappointed or anything. Never thought you above porn, obviously. Or like… You’re so squeaky clean that I thought you wouldn’t…indulge. Fuck, I indulge… You’re grown, do what you want.”
“So… Doesn’t make you think less of me that I’m… Like I’m some big perv? Like um…”
“Oh, you are a big perv,” you laughed, “Remember? You were glued to the sight of my boobs, like…”
He burst out laughing, a grin on your face.
“You, Joseph Quinn, are an absolute pervert. And that’s okay.”
“…god, I’m never living that down, am I? Not ever? You’re going to go through life and just, whenever I’m brought up, just… ‘Oh, yeah, I met him once. A fucking caveman of a perv just looking at my tits.’ Amazing impression I’ve left.” You snickered, “One hell of a role model of a human being.”
“Shut up, it’s not terrible. Makes you human, you know? Honestly? It’s kinda…” And you trail off, your words halting.
And he catches it, of course, he catches it. Big brown eyes lighting up, looking at you, expectantly.
Your lips twitch, the words burning on your tongue, your bold, up-front attitude begging you to say it. Maybe he’ll be flattered, or perhaps it would catch him off guard that you’d see his ears get all pink and cute and it could be a nice memory for you to hold on to. But there was a part of you that was holding back. That didn’t want to veer into the realm of being cringe, though you hated the term and what it’s become. You wanted to be authentic, wanted to be yourself.
You wanted to say that the fact he was a bit of a perv… Was actually kind of hot.
The fact that you liked that he thought with his dick, that he wasn’t some baby girl type of man that you had to censor yourself around. That he could say fuck and wanted to get fucked. That he wasn’t the persona you saw on hundreds of TikTok’s on your for you page. Not fitting the narrative so many of his fans projected onto him. That he could be crude. He liked tits. Probably ass, too. Maybe even a leg man. Liked porn, wouldn’t mind reading your porn, if he was being honest about that.
The fact that all of that was very… Very hot to you was alarming enough that you just didn’t want to speak it out loud.
He was just being nice. And you didn’t want to say or do anything that would make him…not want to be nice.
Luckily, very luckily, your food was brought to the counter, veering both of you off topic.
Thank God.
Sliders, loaded fries, drinks and…a very generous slice of the chocolate ganache ricotta cheesecake — with caramel drizzle. You smiled, looking from the plates set in front of you back to Joseph. “Guess our conversation has come to an end. I should get this back to my very hungry friends by now.”
He gave a nod, smiling gently, though there was a sense of disappointment in his gaze at you. “…I have to get a hold of my mate, as well.” He watched as you stared at the plates, holding the sliders in one hand, the loaded fries in the other, still leaving the three drinks and the cheesecake. Biting his lip, he picked those right up, catching your eye with a smile. “Let me help you to your table, yeah? It’s practically on my way out.”
You furrowed your brow, “Are you sure? I can always make two trips or even text my friend to come help me—”
“Nah, we could do it just fine, I think. It’s no trouble, I promise.”
Part of you wanted to protest, insist that you could do it on your own or even bring Jen or Gerry along to help. You figured he had some place way more important to be, but the look of that smile on his face and his willingness to help… God, it wasn’t like you could say no, could you? A relenting breathy laugh flowed from you, as well as the relaxing of your shoulders. “That…would be amazing, actually… Thank you.” With a smirk, you added, “Your mum definitely raised you right.”
“Oh, can I tell her you said that? I think she worries, sometimes…”
His cheeky smile makes you laugh, only allowing the smile to grow wider. You started off on your path, allowing him to follow.
Licking his lips after a few steps, he took a deep breath. “Fake Taxi.”
That caused you to pause a moment, looking back at him, clearly confused.
He chuckles, nudging your shoulder. “…it’s not just brazzers, it’s… Sometimes it’s Fake Taxi.”
It clicks, and you let out a snort. “…really? Huh… I watch that sometimes, too…” You start walking again, spotting the jovial look on his face. “Do I have to sign an NDA now that you’ve confessed that Joseph Quinn watches porn? Wouldn’t want that all over the internet…”
“I don’t think you’d disappoint my mum like that… I am her baby boy, after all…” he let out as you let out a laugh. “And… Oddly… I kinda trust you.”
There was a warmth the sparked within you, not up your neck or on your face… But within your chest, surprising yourself. Taking a deep breath, you let out a sigh. “Well… It would ruin people’s image of you being so babygirl, so… I wouldn’t dare be the reason behind that.”
He let out a sigh, “Babygirl, really? I don’t even get Babyboy? Or man. Babyman?”
You know he’s trying to be cute, and he in fact, very much is, and you can’t help but let out a small laugh, turning to look at him. “…you really standing there in front of me, preferring to be called Babyman?”
“Not good?” he said with such a serious face, that it becomes comical to you. “Think I should go with something else? You’re the writer, what do you suggest?”
“From my ongoing conversation with you? Manchild.”
He let out a gasp, an actual gasp, looking at you with a hurt expression. “That hurt.”
“For someone that’s so dead set against being called babygirl… You sure are acting very babygirl.”
He tutted, “For the last time… I’m manly. Maybe you should spread the word. Do a TikTok.” Though the smile on his face gave the impression he didn’t mind, carrying on behind you, walking through the throngs of people, still… Avoiding the crack in the floor and further and further along toward your table.
You saw Jen and Gerry straight away, but there was a third person, very tall. Lanky, even. Speaking animatedly so much that his arms were almost flailing about and from what you could tell from Jen’s face, telling a rather intriguing story. Shoulder length blond hair swayed with his movements, a rich voice starting to cut through the crowd. It was familiar. You recognized him, you think. There isn’t much you can tell from the back of someone’s head. It wasn’t until…
“Jamie?” came Joseph’s voice beside you and that’s when the other turned around and those bright blue eyes confirmed it for you.
That was Jamie fucking Campbell-Bower.
V e c n a, himself.
“Mate!” Joseph let out, putting the trays he had on your table, putting his hands on Jamie’s shoulder. “Where the fuck have you been, yeah? Been waiting for you, meaning to call you, but...” Whether he intended to or not, his eyes flickered toward you for a split second, before going back toward his mate. “…got distracted. Where you been?”
“Right!” he let out, his hands grasping at Joseph’s forearms, “Sorry! Meant to call as well, signing went a bit longer than expected. Mobile completely died…”
“Oh, so, even if I called you…”
“Yeah, you’d been fucked, mate, sorry.”
He laughed, “Well, I feel not as bad, now, cheers.”
Jamie laughed, patting his arm, “Well, we found one another now and —” turning toward your table, “Mobile’s been charged.”
“Me,” Jen let out, “Because of me, because I have a portable charger on me, hi,” looking directly at you. Eyes wide, and an expression that was genuinely screaming — you’ve got some explaining to do, Miss.
You let out a grin, returning the look pointedly at her, wondering what your life was right now. “Always bring a portable charger,” you let out, placing the trays in your hands to join the ones that Joseph let down. Turning to Joseph, you gestured toward your friends, “So, these are the hungry friends I was trying to get more food to… My best friend Jen and her forever fiancé, Gerry.”
He immediately let go of Jamie and toward them, “Hello! Hi, lovely to meet you,” shaking their hands warmly. “Right, well, I’m Joe.”
“Oh, we know,” Jen let out, a smile on her face looking from Joe and to you. “Yeah, we know who you are.”
Wench.
“Nice to meet you,” Gerry interjected, thankfully, shaking his hand. “We loved Eddie, you did such a cool job, amazing job. When we all watched it, one of the specific things that struck me was like… Eddie was so someone I knew in high school, like, you got that down, it was really cool.”
You watched as Joseph put his hand over his heart, his face melting, “Oh my god, thank you, that’s very kind. Yeah, I’ve been getting that a lot, and it honestly means so much. I’m glad…” A soft laugh let out, “Whatever I did, it’s honestly a blur sometimes, resonated so much, thank you.” Taking a deep breath, “Now,” a step back, his fingers swaying between Jamie and Gerry, “…you two seemed a bit familiar, there a story there? I’m not jealous, but…” His back straightened, looking between the two, “I sort of am.”
“Joseph, you know you’re my favorite boy.”
“I demand answers.”
“I demand you not be so fucking rude, hi,” Jamie let out, turning to you with a warm smile and a hand, “Since I was going to wait forever, I’ll introduce myself,” pausing for the snort Joseph let out. “I’m Jamie, love,” he chuckled through. “Nice to meet you, how are you?”
You laughed, taking his hand and shaking it, “I’m amazing, lovely to meet you. And since we’re blowing up Joseph’s ass,” you started, getting a laugh out of that from the boys, “Can I say… Your casting was fucking brilliant. The way how soft One was when he was just the orderly? If I was looking into those big blue eyes, I would have believed anything he said, so good on you.”
 Jamie laughed, holding your hand even tighter in his grip. “Oh, that’s so lovely of you! Warms my heart to hear that.”
“Honestly, I mean it, and that whole reveal with Vecna, One, Henry, that was so beautiful.”
“Yes, it was… Honestly so pleased how it turned out. And I did enjoy doing the whole monologue with Henry, really getting to know how his mind works. Thank you, I appreciate that so much, darling.”
Joseph took in a deep breath, “Yeah, this is why I didn’t introduce you, mate.”
You snorted, looking over at him and stuck out your tongue. “Anyway… And despite him being rude… I concur, you two looked like you knew one another… But that’s impossible because Gerry would never let that slip his mind to not even mention to us…” your words trailed, as you looked to the man in question, narrowing your eyes. “…yes, you fucking would, actually.”
Taking a deep breath, Gerry scratched the back of his neck. “We… Well… We kinda played a few clubs together, a few years back… During one of my tours…”
“Shit,” Joseph let out, recognition hitting him. “You’re in that band. With your brother, yeah? You’re a musician. Fuck, you look different.”
A sheepish smile came over Gerry’s face, “Oh… Yeah, I’m kinda known for being wildly inconsistent with my looks, at least back then.” Looking over at Jamie, “How’s the music coming along?”
“Oh, chaotic, as usual, but fun but definitely still going, though very slowly. Which I sort of enjoy, no need to rush it.”
“Slow and steady,” Jen supplied, looking directly at you which only made you narrow your eyes.
Choosing to ignore it, knowing exactly what she was driving at. “Sorry, sorry, I’m still going over the fact that you two,” a swaying hand between Jamie and Gerry, “…know each other. I mean, I kinda expect it, but the fact that,” pointing at Jen, “Did you know this?”
“No,” she said sternly, her brows risen as she said it. “Trust me, it was just as big of a surprise to me, too.” Turning to her fiancé, she cleared her throat. “We’re gonna have a big talk about this.”
“We’ve could’ve had Jamie Campbell Bower on a podcast, and you just sat on that information?! Dishonor on you and your whole ass family. Except Jen. Obviously.”
“You have a podcast?” You heard Joe practically squeak, Jamie laughing soon after.
Smiling a bit, you turn to him, “I have a bit of everything. Some of us embrace the internet and don’t act like some babyface boomers.”
Jamie cackled, his hand patting Joe on the back as he stood there, staring at you in a mock offended expression on his face as he let out, “How… Fucking… dare you.”
“I don’t know, mate, she seems to got you clocked,” Jamie let out, giving an approving nod. “Spot on, love.”
Joseph let out a sigh, “…oh, you’re all against me.”
“Well,” you replied, “You just make it both easy and so much fun.”
Jamie crossed his arms, looking between the two of you, “Okay, well, got me curious, how’s this come about?”
Joe let out a chuckle, “Jealous, are we?”
“A bit, you’re my precious boy —” his smile breaking out as he looked at you, “I’m just curious, crazy coincidence? Or serendipity.”
But before you could even attempt to answer, Joe beat you to it. “Oh, I saved her.”
You watched as Jen’s eyes widened, head tilting and worry on her face, “Excuse me, what?”
“The floor,” Joe started, “…attacked her. Almost sent her to her death, but I was there.”
And just like that, the worry fled her face as she let out a sigh. “The boots?”
“That and a crack on the floor, yeah. Or just uneven flooring. I don’t know, the tip of my boot hit it and yes, Joe was there and…caught me when I fell.”
You hated the way Jen’s face lit up at that. You’ve known her for so long that you knew the wheels were turning in her head. Soon enough, she let out, “Wow, that sounds… Absolutely storybook. You should write about it.”
Oh, if looks could kill… Or at the very least give a light smack of the head. “It was very…serendipitous.”
“It was good luck,” Joseph let out, clearing his throat. “Just plain good luck,” pointing a look at you.
That made you smile as you looked over at him, “Again, thanks for saving me.”
Chuckling softly, he gave a nod, “Well, that would’ve been embarrassing, I hear. Dying on your birthday, glad to help avoid that.”
If your eyes hadn’t been so trained on Joseph, you would have seen the look between Jen and Gerry, though you knew… You knew… As soon as it was just the three of you, the questions would come bombarding you. You couldn’t even blame them, really. This was easily the most insane few moments you’ve ever experienced. And it wasn’t quite over, yet, as Jamie slapped his hands on Joseph’s shoulders, eyes wide, “Joseph, you’re a hero now? Fancy that.”
“Are you proud, Papa?” he asked cheekily, looking up at him.
“Insanely, always knew you were so good.” Both chuckling at each other, before Jamie’s blue eyes found you. “And you! Happy Birthday, I hope it’s a good one.” He pointed at the slice of cheesecake, “Is that your birthday treat?”
“I was noticing that,” Jen chirped, “Treating yourself?”
“Actually…”
“I bought it for her, put it on my tab,” Joe answered, notably avoiding any glances before gently patting Jamie’s cheek, making him blink and look incredulously at him. “Oi, we got to book it,” he managed to get out before having a chuckle. “I got that panel in a few hours, but we wanted to…”
“Oh, right, that place, yeah…” Looking at the three of you, he smiled politely, “Sorry, would’ve loved to have a sit down but we really wanted to check out —”
“Jamie, no,” Joe let out, shaking his head, and looking at you with squinty eyes. “…. she’ll make fun of us.”
You have out a gasp, your hand over your heart, “How dare… I mean, probably.” It was your turn to narrow your eyes, looking at them both. “…it’s something British, isn’t it?”
Lifting his chin up, Joseph placed a finger against his lips and then a zipping of lips flourish which made you chuckle. His smile spread wide as he gave you a wink. “Happy Birthday. See you around the circus.”
“Wave a white flag if you need help,” you told him, watching the flash of his teeth as he dragged Jamie away who waved at you all. You couldn’t help it, watching after him until he was out of sight. Mainly because you couldn’t quite comprehend what just happened between the two of you, and the other part…
God, now you had to face Jen.
Your best friend in the world, sitting back in her seat with the most shit eating grin you had ever seen in your life. Letting out a soft groan, you sat down, pushing the burgers and sliders towards her — though you grabbed one for yourself. Taking a bite and with a flourish of your hand, gestured toward her. “Go ahead.”
“You fell into his fucking arms?!” was her immediate start. Her face disbelieving, a laugh struggling to come out. “That is why your ass was taking so long?”
“Hey, I almost died.”
“But you didn’t. And why? Because you had Mister Tall, British Man there to catch you when you fell!” Shaking her head, taking a slider and taking a bite but still looking at you.
The smile couldn’t help but form on your lips, shaking your head, “It was…a surreal moment.”
“It was a Jane Austen kinda moment.”
“He definitely has those vibes.”
“Dare we say like a Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy kinda vibe?”
You shook your head, “Wasn’t embarrassing enough for that. I’d have to had my boob fall out or show off my chonies or something like that. He’d make an awesome Mark Darcy, though.”
“He’d like you. Just as you are.”
“Fuck off,” you laughed, your attention going to Gerry, “But also, seriously, never mentioned the whole Jamie thing? We all saw Stranger Things together, dude.”
He held his hands up, “Hey, I meet a lot of people and you both know I hate name dropping.”
Sighing, looking at Jen, “Of all the musicians you had to fall for, you get the modest emo one.”
She sighed, looking at Gerry, “I know. The heart wants what it wants and we just gotta deal with it.”
“Love you, too.” Gerry leaning back in his seat, “Fine, maybe I could ask if he wants to sit in on a podcast, he might be really fun for you guys, actually.”
“Or Joe,” Jen lets out, smiling like the Cheshire cat at you. “Fess up. Did you get that man’s number?”
You snorted, looking at her with an arched brow. “Oh, I love that you think that I would even attempt to shoot my shot with him. Are you kidding? Do you know how many people in this vicinity that want to dick that man down? And the fact he’d probably turn them all down to dick down someone entirely not of our league, like an actress, model, singer… No. No, I did not score his number. I didn’t even ask for a photo.”
“What do you mean, you didn’t ask for a photo?! Like c’mon, he totally would have said yes.”
“I don’t know!” you said, finishing off the slider, giving a shrug. “I… I didn’t even think about it, honestly? Though, someone did approach and somewhere there is a pic of me and a pic of him with someone. One of my folks, a reader.”
You watched as Jen’s face switched from outraged to something resembling…pride. “Oh wow, that’s kinda cool.” Letting out a sigh, “You still should have…. I don’t know, if you weren’t going to get his number, at least a photo or something.”
“I got a cheesecake, and… Honestly… We talked, like, a lot.” You smiled, shaking your head. “He’s… He’s pretty cool, actually. Funny, too. More than those interviews usually show… I rather have had the conversation than like, a photo or a number that… Let’s face it. He’d either give me a fake one or change it overnight. Or ghost me, if he’s the type. It was good, the moment we had. I enjoyed it.”
“That’s all that matters,” Gerry let out, looking to Jen with as stern a look he could muster. “That’s all that matters.” He paused a moment, looking at you. “He smiled at you a lot though. There was definitely…something between you two.”
“Oh, God.”
“Right? Right?!” Jen practically squealed, “I knew it, I saw it, too! This is why I love you.” Gerry raised his brows, “One of many reasons! I promise.”
“You guys are way off. He’s just really nice, that’s all. But I’m glad he was. If he turned out to be a dick, that would be devastatingly heartbreaking.”
They both gave a relenting nod, eating their food for a moment while you dug into your cheesecake. Though you hadn’t meant to, your mind sort of swirled with little replays of that whole experience with him. The sound of his laugh, his smile, his eyes. Smiling a bit to yourself as you take that first bite, a small groan of appreciation.
It tastes sweeter than you remembered.
Your mind not daring to venture as to why, but you knew.
“He’s not my type—”
“Yeah,” you started, “We saw how you were looking at Jamie—”
“Shut up,” Jen told you, amongst your cackling, though she relented, “Okay, yeah, but… Joseph looked good… Like… With the beard and hair, you know what he looked like, right?”
“Enjolras,” you gave out, quite dreamily, without even taking a beat. “He was giving Enjolras.”
You could see Jen’s pearly teeth in her smile as she leaned forward, “You fucking love Enjolras.”
Your lips struggled to contain the smile that came out from the statement, the very true statement. Couldn’t deny it even if you wanted to. She was there when you all binge watched Les Misérables and watched him on screen, your eyes never leaving him, unashamedly.
“Enjolras is fucking hot,” you relent. “He was very hot…”
He still is.
Breaking out of the trance that induced you into, dragging reality to crash down into you. “Not that it matters. He’s probably… No, you know, it doesn’t even matter if he’s dating someone or not, it’s not… I’m not looking for anything and… No point in even entertaining anything otherwise. I’ll probably see him passing by through the con and nothing more than that, so… Yes, he’s hot, and very nice and…”
He smelled good. Like very good.
“You purring?”
Grabbing your straw, opening the end and blowing through it as the paper wrapper hit her so perfectly. Making her laugh. “You know what? Fuck off, firstly. And to prove that I know nothing will come of this, so it won’t be awkward… And a bit of an ego boost for me…” You licked your lips, a momentary sense of guilt, but, continuing anyway. “You know how he was there to catch me? He was walking and saw my boobs and was distracted so much that he was just there when I tripped.”
Sorry, Joseph. But it really wasn’t like you were going to see him again. And it really was too good to not share eventually.
“No!” your friend gasped.
“Oh, wow,” Gerry let out. “You guys know I’m still here, right?”
Ignoring him, you nodded, “Yup. Joseph Quinn? Total tit man.”
“Spellbound by the chichis,” Jen laughed. “I mean, wench, they do look nice in that top, not gonna lie.”
“And that totally saved my life, probably, maybe. Saying that, stays with us, don’t wanna spread that around. He did save my life, and,” gesturing towards your boobs as you sat back. “You’re right. Can’t blame him.” A soft chuckle emerges just as you feel the strong vibration of your phone. Shit. Telemarketer? Sister? Dad? Sitting up and digging into your pocket, you recognized the contact as none of the previously mentioned. “It’s the con peeps,” you let out, accepting the call. “Hey, what’s up, did we get bumped off?”
“Hey, sorry, no, not that. We’re uh, we’re kinda in a bind.”
Looking over at Jen and Gerry, you raised a brow, “What kinda bind?”
“Shelly had to pull out. Or, um… Well, she had a sort of…emergency…”
Your eyes narrowed as that sounded ominous. “…what kind of emergency?”
“…the…bring a new life into the world kinda emergency.”
“Aww!” came your immediate response. “Oh, that’s great, god, I saw her earlier, she seemed so miserable being in this heat and over her due date—Oh.” You let out a hiss, “Oh yeah, yeah that sucks for you guys.”
“Yeah, it’s great for her, but, not so much for us, so… She had a panel that she was gonna moderate in a few hours. And you’re always good about filling in and it won’t interfere with any of your bookings or anything like that and you’re always so good with them… Can you cover it for her?”
“They want me to cover a panel,” you explained to your friends, covering the bottom half of your phone before getting back to the call. “Um, yeah, sure, she’s always good with notes so I won’t be completely in the dark.”
“You’ll be great, just, you know, maybe… Tone it down a bit?”
“Oh god, are there going to be children? I can’t… I mean I can try and censor myself, but you know what I’m like when I really get going.”
“I know, but we’re really in a bind…”
“You’ve said that. I’m like your last resort, aren’t I?”
“…I’m not going to say yes, but I’m also definitely not gonna say no…”
“I do love your honesty. Okay. Yeah, it could be fun. I had a big gap between tonight’s panel anyway, I could squeeze one in between. When is it?”
“A couple of hours, thank you! We were scrambling. Getting desperate, we really didn’t want to cancel.”
“I got you guys. Is it a group panel or…”
“No, no, it’s a solo one, one actor, a whole hour and vetted questions from the audience. It’s that guy from Stranger Things? New to the cons, he played Eddie Munson? It’s going to be a big crowd…”
Oh, there was a buzzing in your head. Looking over at your friends who looked a bit concerned right back at you.
Oh, god.
What even was your life?
It had to be a joke, right? Some cosmic joke that whatever higher being was up there, so bored that he decided to just fuck with your life.
And on your birthday.
On your birthday!
“…yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there.”
Jesus H. Christ.
What the fuck.
What the fuck?
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riddlerosehearts · 3 months
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i hate tumblr so much. i can't post a gifset on one of my sideblogs right now because i tried posting it twice an hour apart and it wouldn't appear in the tags, but all of my other posts on that blog show up just fine. i have no idea what is going on with this specific post.
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spadecentral · 1 year
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I posted 1,690 times in 2022
That's 1,690 more posts than 2021!
652 posts created (39%)
1,038 posts reblogged (61%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@v-anrouge
@rouecentric
@spadecentral
@w4t3rgun
@malleusball
I tagged 1,670 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#⋆ ˚ reblogs - 483 posts
#⋆ ˚ moots - 447 posts
#» reblogs - 381 posts
#» moots - 293 posts
#twisted wonderland - 221 posts
#⋆ ˚ mailbox - 202 posts
#@.friends - 197 posts
#twst - 159 posts
#⋆ ˚ eli says shit - 127 posts
#@.dms - 116 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#it can be in 'i'‚ 'you'--like you're going to do this--‚ 'we'--even though i have no clue who 'we' means‚ and sometimes third person 'eli'
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Weird Places MC has Been Caught Sleeping In
- The railing of RAD. Next to the spiral staircase. Like just balancing in the banister
- The trunk of Mammon’s precious car
- Taped to Lucifer’s ceiling because they were supposed to be doing a prank
- On Levi’s PC. It was warm.
- Three feet in the air, hanging by a shoelace
- The stage of RAD during an award ceremony
- Almost the oven. Twice.
- On Diavolo’s shoulders, surprisingly
- On a stretcher. Don’t ask. You don’t wanna know.
- A blackjack table. Mammons fault not mine.
- A ladder in Satan’s library
- NOT THEIR BED.
299 notes - Posted July 21, 2022
#4
Everyone is Staring at Yuu
Anon asked: dude imagine the first years walking around campus and everyone just staring at them bc yuu is freinds with someone from savannaclaw and disonmia(i know i spt that wrong) and its even weirder bc yuu is magicaless
"Dude..." Ace whispered to Deuce. "Everyone's looking at us really weirdly."
"Watcha lookin' at, huh?!" Epel sneered, sizing up a Octavinelle student.
"U-uh, nothing! Not you, of course!" They said in a rush. "Not that you're not worth looking at just uh-"
"Really now?" Epel seethed.
"Epel, let it go," Jack said, sighing. "C'mon."
"It is highly unprofessional of you to start a fight with another student!" Sebek yelled over at Epel.
"I'll show you professional when I shove my foot up your as-"
"Epel!" Jack pulled back the boy by his collar. "Sebek, disregard him."
The Diasomnia student scoffed. "Such a small threat wouldn't phase me. I am Waka-sama's personal guard, after all."
"I don't think they're looking at us..." Deuce whispered back, looking at the students staring.
In the middle of the group was Yuu, with Grim perched on their shoulder. The prefect was chewing on some jerky that they had on them, occasionally giving a piece to Grim.
"...I think they're looking at Yuu." Deuce completed his sentence.
"Woah, you're actually being smart for once?!" Ace exclaimed on an intentionally loud volume.
"It's not like you're much better, Ace." Yuu smirked, handing Grim a piece of jerky. "You're an idiot. But you're one of my idiots, so don't worry, heh."
Ace blushed a little before turning around and huffing. "Where are we going anyway?"
"I would like to know that as well! I can not slack off on my duty to protect Waka-sama! I should be back soon!" Sebek agreed.
"Oh just down to Sam's! I need some stuff and I've been saving tokens for weeks." Yuu replied. "And why do I feel so many eyes on me? Like this is creepy."
Grim looked up from his piece of jerky around at the people Yuu seemed to be talking about. "I dunno... Hey! Why are you starin' at us?!"
"U-uh... Nothing, nevermind." The called-out student stammered.
"It's alright, don't mind Grim." Yuu motioned for the student to come over with their hands. "C'mon."
Nervously, the student shuffled their way over to Yuu and the other first-years.
"Well?"
"Uhm... see... you're ...aquaintances? I don't know if that's the right word... but you seem to be familiar with the dorm head of both Savanahclaw and Diasomnia," They said, staring at the floor. "And no one's really ever talked with either so much as once, so you're kind of a... celebrity, I suppose."
"Me, a celebrity? Hah!" Yuu laughed. "I mean it is true that I'm friends with Leona and Tsunotarou, but surely more than I have talked to them."
"I wouldn't be too sure, Yuu." Jack nudged them.
"Yeah... the Diasomnia dormleader is kind of... scary."
"How dare you call Waka-sama scary!" Sebek yelled.
"Sebek, calm down. I don't think Tsunotarou minds." Yuu sighs. "You can go now."
See the full post
347 notes - Posted August 24, 2022
#3
If you don't mind or if you're requests are open can I request for a GEN Z MC?
Ofc :D
Gen Z!MC in the Devildom
This is so funny to me
Probably wouldn’t be surprised
“Huh, so the Karen’s were right.”
The demons would probably be extremely confused why you’re addressing a group of people with the name ’Karen’
You were pretty tame before learning that Lucifer picked you on an off-chance
That’s when you decided to make their lives hellish
Or well…
YOU GET THE POINT
Expect a lot of AC/DC and loud music to be blasting in your room
And then Mitski turns on because your playlist is a rollercoaster and you roll on the floor crying 🗿
And then it goes to hyperpop 💀
No one in that house will be getting any decent sleep
Don’t play uno
It wasn’t banned at one point
That was until you told Mammon about it
Why would you do that 😭
Broski made betting pools
Don’t do that again
Anywho
[SCENARIO]
You walk into the dining room in the morning
Most of the demon brothers are already there
You had stayed up most of the night watching TikTok’s on your smuggled human-world phone
You half yawning say, “So someone tried to bring back eating tide pods… like puhlease that was so 2015.”
You’re most definitely getting bombarded with questions
“MC… WHAT?!?” ⁃ “Tide… pods?”
See the full post
385 notes - Posted June 23, 2022
#2
Smart AF Yuu
@theheavilyindulgentgoat asked: Umm… May I have a scenario where MC gets straight As in every single of their classes? And ever since they came to twst they've scored higher than both Riddle and Azul in every single class? I just….. really want to see how they'd react, especially since they can't really score higher than 100… Oh my gosh!!! And imagine… If Riddle n Azul manage to score higher than MC cause MCs grades are usually in the high 90s to 100s… But when they brag or tease MC about it they're just unfazed!!! Sorry if this is long. I was just struck with the irresistible urge to be better than the love of my life Riddle and academic rival Azul. Thank you, and have a lovely day.
Yuu. The Ramshackle prefect. The smartest bitch in the godforsaken NRC. The person that two students absolutely despise.
Azul and Riddle, who used to always fight each other for the top spot, now share a common enemy. Yuu.
Yuu's grades are... perfect. The Perfect Prefect. Shut up.
The lowest grade Yuu had gotten was a 97. A NINETY-FUCKING-SEVEN.
Riddle is seething. His year is ruined. His life is ruined. Yuu ruined his life.
Azul might cry. He's stressed. Mountains of paper were on different parts of his room.
They both hated Yuu. They wanted to punch the smug look off of Yuu's face.
During the big test where the Adeuce duo + Grim gain anemones on their heads, both housewardens beat Yuu by a couple measly points.
When they go up to rub it in their face, what Yuu says inrages them even more.
"It's bound to happen, after all; I've been in this world for far less of a time than you were. Congratulations of your 98's, both of you!" They clap a few times before walking away, going to find their idiots.
Azul and Riddle hate Yuu.
Yuu has got to go.
Taglist:
@trappolaces | @ch3lun | @oseathepebble | @ventisaircurrent | @epelys | @pastelmages | @tulipluvlettr | @xxhome-is-where-ria-isxx | @atlasnessie | @sapphicxslvt
467 notes - Posted August 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
My sister, texting me. And my response
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535 notes - Posted July 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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sophsun1 · 1 year
Note
contrary to the other anons opinion, i think you should make MORE qaf gifs!!!
but on the real, i’m one of those people who didn’t watch qaf until this year and it’s been such a treat to be able to come to your blog every day and see new qaf content so thank you!
Hey anon!
Aww, thank you I really appreciate you saying that and I'm glad you enjoy the content. It's why I do it, so me and other fans can see it and to spread a tiny bit of escapism happiness 💕
To be honest I wouldn't have even acknowledged that anon because the best way to deal with hate is to straight up block and delete. Don't even give them your energy as the issue is with them and not you. But what triggered me was the blatant entitlement and rudeness that they had a right to tell me what to post on MY blog. As far as I'm aware I do not have a gun to their head or anyone's asking them to follow me if they don't like what I post. I would rather you unfollow and go enjoy the things you want to see, why make yourself upset over something that is so avoidable and trivial in the grand scheme of things.
You are in charge of what you see on here, unfollow, block, filter the tag are all options available to you so the idiocy of going to the blog owner and demanding they tailor their content to suit you is ridiculous.
Plus I came onto tumblr posting qaf and have been doing so for TWO YEARS. My icon is qaf and so is my header and if you ask my mutuals/followers what is Soph known for? they'll say oh she's the one posting qaf! It's not like it's not obvious I post about it. I didn't know my two whole gifsets a day was overkill, and what made me laugh was I do post gifs about other shows, my top posts reflect that and are all non qaf related! My other show interests are on hiatus so I can't exactly magic up content to gif. I make a lot of gifs for fandoms that don't even have active gif makers anymore so yk.
There's enough unkindness in the world as it is, and I use tumblr and gif making as a creative escape as do the majority of content creators on here, whether it's answering asks, writing fic, writing meta, funny posts etc whatever. It's my tiny safe space to be silly and post with and for my followers. I go through enough shit in real life I don't welcome it here.
The major reason why I love posting gifs in general for qaf is because I only discovered the show two years ago and when I came on here there was zero content. So I took it upon myself to learn gif making and I'm 100% self taught, no one has shown me how to do anything I've had to go search it myself. I'm really fucking proud of how far I've come with making them, from my grainy and uncoloured ones which I still smile at because I made them with love to the ones that I create now. It takes literal hours and the process isn't easy. So now to be the one posting stuff for old fans, new fans to discover is me coming tumblr full circle!
There's many gif makers like me that create for "dead fandoms" or forgotten shows, and sometimes it might be that if we didn't post then there would be nothing for people to enjoy like it was for me. I've had people who followed me from day one and my first ever britin gifset who still pop up in my notes now and people who have discovered the show from my gifs, and ones like you who come to the tag and see my unhinged self all over it.
So in conclusion my point is first off think twice before you hit that anon button with hate, because there's a real life person behind that icon who is causing you no harm so have the decency to do the same in return. Imagine someone did become self conscious after getting that ask and stopped posting something they like. Let people enjoy what they want and it's first world problems to be complaining about, I don't take stuff on here seriously when it's fandom stuff but I don't care for nastiness towards anyone.
I wish more people did make qaf gifs so I would have stuff to reblog myself and could take a break lmao it's lonely out here. It doesn't even have to be gifs, it can be meta, mood boards, screenshots, fic anything. So qaf fans get to it pls...
Keep creating what you like, for me it doesn't have to be the best quality gifs or greatest technical gifset. What makes me smile and I love seeing is people post stuff because they wanna have fun, they took the time and effort to create and post because it came from the heart. So fuck anyone else as we're all losers on tumblr together!
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macetothefxce · 1 year
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Rules
Hi I'm Vora, 27. A little old to want to interact with anyone younger than 18, even if there's no nsfw involved. So keep that in mind, if there are any minors still around the rpc.
I have a very very very low tolerance for things like bigotry in all its flavors, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, etc. I don't care. I will not engage. I will just block you, I'm so exhausted at all times
OOC hate of other calibres will not be tolerated. I know that Overwatch and Blizzard and problematic(tm). Cool! Don't give me shit about it. You're probably a Harry Potter fan if you are giving me shit about it, go back to your Snapewife blogs.
I don't mind tagging stuff triggerwise I already tag stuff like gore and the like, though this blog wouldn't really have that come up. I can't see Brigitte talking about beheadings casually.
This is simply a preference thing, but don't hit 'reply' to my posts more than once or twice. Especially when I make a seperate post to show your reply. Put in the effort and reblog the post so things get a bit easier.
bogos binted
rules wip
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tsvai · 7 months
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update: the dashboard unfucker script is not responsible for the 'classic search' xkit unwritten feature breaking (while it worked at first without the script, now it doesn't work with or without the script), so i guess i should submit a bug report to the xkit github lmao.
however something the script definitely does break is tag tracking+ as w/ the script, the tracked tags still show up in my sidebar, but for some reason the unread count won't update when i go to the tag and look at the new posts :') i tested that w/o the script active and the unread count updated when i revisited the tag feeds.
edit: while doing some careful last minute testing before actually submitting the bug report, i actually got classic search to work both without AND with the script - using the search history instead of retyping the search anew apparently just isn't affected by classic search, and i was so tired that i had only been testing by doing that.
that still leaves the script breaking tag tracking+, but at least one problem is solved lmao. aug 17 edit: tag tracking+ is still not working quite the way it used to but i've figured out how to get it to update the unread count. meanwhile an issue where the 'restore links to individual posts in the post header' tweak reverts, but refreshing the page seems to fix it, so i just kind of expect to have to refresh my dashboard more often than i used to (rather than just clicking the home button twice because just clicking once hasn't been enough for a long time now, functional website), considering how often i use that particular tweak.
in other news, i have a whole ass essay that's been eating at me for the last 24 hrs, and i'm just dumping it here instead of making a whole post about it, because frankly i'm just whining and i don't really want to clog people's dashboards up with it.
im pretty Tired at this point and i've lost any of the remaining 'good will' i had left toward staff. while i've been at least semi-critical of a lot of their more questionable shit for years now, i'd still been trying to give them the benefit of the doubt through gritted teeth.
but this latest fiasco has really reminded me that whoever's making these decisions definitely doesn't care about what the userbase wants even a little, and they are going to prioritize their 'metrics' or wtf ever buzzword they keep using over actual human feedback every time. i have been extraordinarily naive in hoping that things wouldn't get worse, i suppose because i've really enjoyed my eleven years here until now and i wanted to believe that this site wasn't going to go the way that most other older social media is going.
i think as time goes on i'm actually more upset about staff telling us that they care about our feedback and then in spite of that, pushing an update that received a very negative reaction in testing (publicly, at least) without even the courtesy of a toggle option at least, than i am about the actual update.
while a fair amount of the userbase response has been pretty vitriolic and people have said some shit that there's not really any excuse for (threats of bodily harm over a shitty ui update are unhinged behavior - i sent feedback myself that was pretty irritated but at least i was civil comparatively, damn), i saw a few employee blog responses that were unprofessional at best, which was extremely disheartening, since, y'know, i guess i'd hoped they could be more mature than the userbase.
i don't really expect to be here anymore a year or two from now. it would be really nice if a few days from now staff prove me wrong by indicating that they've taken the user response seriously and like, idk, at least giving us an option to choose between the old ui and the new one, but at this point i'm not really getting my hopes up (esp bc there are more problems than the update - like the rumors i've been hearing about the way certain types of content on the site have been moderated).
honestly i kind of expect to just tiredly patch shit up with increasingly more extensions as the site slowly goes down in flames. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
0 notes
kaptainkit · 2 years
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The Legend of Vox Machina + Troubled Birds
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mimiswitches · 2 years
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Who wants to talk about how 2/5 top posts for my P0RN BL0G is fanfiction related?
Anyway:
I posted 2,281 times in 2021
67 posts created (3%)
2214 posts reblogged (97%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 33.0 posts.
I added 100 tags in 2021
#bd/sm lifestyle - 15 posts
#md/lb relationship - 14 posts
#yes please - 14 posts
#mommydom - 11 posts
#md/lb - 10 posts
#md/lb blog - 9 posts
#polyamarous - 7 posts
#mommy kink - 7 posts
#bd/sm switch - 7 posts
#polyamory - 6 posts
Longest Tag: 79 characters
#i thought i would never hear live music and feel the heat of the sun ever again
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Hi Baby ♥️ I made the bed for you and put your favorite stuffie on your side!
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46 notes • Posted 2021-03-29 20:02:33 GMT
#4
I had that moment. The "this is it".
My little boy was over last night. He taught me how to crochet! He was so patient with me, even though I had to restart multiple times.
I'm usually one to mess up once or twice and give up. My chains were too tight. I'm always too tense for this stuff. But each time he just kept re-showing me how to do it. Telling me I was doing great, and learning super quick. Making me feel like everything was fine. So I relaxed. I un-tensed for the first time in what feels like months. And I did it.
The entire time my favorite show played in the background. I didn't have to watch-ive seen the series through multiple times- and while I crocheted, he watched the show and go really into discussing it with me!
We went to bed next to each other, but not exactly cuddling. We are at this weird place where we've shared the bed a handful of times, but not exactly snuggled unless we woke up like that.
I woke up in the morning and went to use the bathroom. I came back and got in bed. He curled up into me, shifted and whimpered in this sleep a little until I had my arms full of him with a little content look on his face. Breathtaking.
This is what I need. A kind, patient, caring lover who I can also be kind, patient, and caring too. Always safe and relaxed together.
I was worried because my little boy and I aren't as close as I hope for this far in a relationship. We are part of a polycule and our schedules never align, so I never see him. I know he is more guarded than me and needs time to let people in. I'm trying to understand, but I'm so affectionate and open that it feels like rejection sometimes.
But after this night- I can see it. It's there. And it's so amazing laying in bed, fully relaxed, holding him with that little smile on his face, that I am willing to wait for as long as he needs.
55 notes • Posted 2021-02-07 13:56:26 GMT
#3
Jegulus Week on tiktok is curing my depression.
If you have fic recs WITHOUT MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH please hit me up.
Many thanks.
65 notes • Posted 2021-02-25 19:46:08 GMT
#2
Slowly increasing my collection of shirts I can wear without a bra! Feeling super comfy in my body lately ☺️
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109 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 05:01:06 GMT
#1
Jegulus is huge right now
And I am 100% here for it.
You wanna know why?
Well I'm gonna tell you.
Because James and Lily are THE STRAIGHT OTP® of Harry Potter.
James and Lily almost always happen the same if you want anything to be canon or close, because you need the birth of
The Boy Who Lived
But BUT but, if you think about it James and Regulus could have been Canon. And it wouldn't mess up the plot.
Wanna bet?
June 1976: James asks Lily out. Lily says she'd rather date the Giant squid.
1976-77: Sixth year for the Marauders, fifth for Reg.
All we know is during this year something/Someone Happened to James that changed him
James went from immature Marauder to Head Boy Material that year
That's a big change.
You know who also went through a BIG change?
Regulus Black. Went from pure blood supremacist to sacrificing himself to help take down Voldemort.
Sounds like someone had some good... Influence?
June/July 1977: Sirius gets kicked out of the house. James obviously takes Sirius's side. Bros before hoes. Ends things with Reggie.
Regulus is driven to the Death Eaters. But then realizes-
James was right. These people are crazy. Dark. Evil.
But it's too late. It's Summer of 1979. James is a changed man. He is married to Lily Evans. Still best friends with Regulus's estranged brother.
What does Reggie do?
Sacrifice himself in hope that his lover can one day live happy with his family.
And who's gonna tell me it didn't happen?
What evidence is against it?
Harry didn't mention it in canon?
Uh Harry is OBLIVIOUS. He's the definition of an unreliable narrarator.
And how would he have known? Harry never met Regulus. James never told Harry ANYTHING he remembered.
Sirius? Remus?
Too busy hiding their own gayness as far as I'm concerned.
See the full post
146 notes • Posted 2021-02-26 02:51:27 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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gettingjuggiewithit · 3 years
Note
hi! i saw your post about jabitha and even though i am a bughead fan, i do have to agree with you. i honestly really like jabitha, even though i still prefer bh. i mean, tabitha is amazing, and i really hope she gets more storylines and more interactions in 5b, and if they really decided to give jabitha a real go, i wouldn't be opposed (as long as they didn't make it just as a roadblock for bh and actually explored the relationship).
while i don't think the "bondage" comment was romantic per se, the kiss still happened, the "muse", the teasing from the other eps. and if you ship jabitha, you should be able to enjoy your content and have fun!
like i said, i get what you're saying and i understand how annoying EVERY riverdale fandom can be (there are people in the bh fandom that are really annoying, and i even blocked some of them!). honestly, just block the tag/those people. for example, i don't like barchie, so i blocked the tag. and everything is fine! this way, they enjoy their stuff in their own little bubble and i'll enjoy mine!
people need to understand that the point of being in a fandom is to create content and have fun and that not everyone wants to engage in ship wars/fandom drama.
also, i'm still that other anon. i think everyone is allowed to make their own takes on canon. just as long as you don't say that other takes different than yours are invalid. yes, some of then can be a hot mess, but everyone is allowed to have their own opinions/interpretation, as long as they don't harass/bully/talk trash to other fandoms/people because of it.
there will be people that will demonize jughead, people that will demonize betty, (i myself love both betty and jughead!!), and everyone just needs to find their happy space in the fandom!
okay, end of the rant!
Oh anon. Your message is really sweet and all, and for the most part I agree with you. I’d be super happy to stay in my lane *if* they would stay in theirs. But they don’t and they are apparently incapable of doing so. Determined to start a very one sided ship war because they’re bored and don’t have anything good in canon to take into the hiatus so uh... picking on Jabitha shippers is it I guess?
Anyway, I’ve shipped Bughead for years. In many ways, I still ship them. But I had to block the Bughead tag because people in that fandom made it UNBEARABLE. They refuse to tag their stuff (although recently they’ve adopted the anti-jabitha tag and thank the old gods and the new). They tried to lump Bughead multishippers who were minding their own business in with Barchies of all people. Now mind you, these are people I’ve followed on tumblr for years! Who suddenly started acting a fool because... well, who knows really, but mostly I suspect it’s because Jughead showed genuine romantic interest in someone that wasn’t Betty, and since they can’t control what’s happening in canon, they have to take it out on people who ship Jabitha. Even those of us who also love or have loved Bughead for years, but realize that right now in canon, maybe they’re not the best for each other.
I wish I could show you my block list. I tried to count them recently but I lost track around the 380 mark and tbh, MOST of that is the Riverdale fandom, and it’s a list that grows by the day. And I would never try to tell people they weren’t entitled to their own read of canon on their own blog as long as it’s tagged properly, but the Bughead fandom specifically lately has been hateful to other Bugheads who happen to multiship for literally zero reason. Vagueblogging about Jabitha shipper opinions when those opinions are tagged on our own blogs, just to try and tear us down? Bullying Jabitha content creators whenever we post something tagged on our own blogs by sending hateful anons? Tattling about our tags on stuff to other Bughead blogs just so those blogs can try and tear us down for having our own opinions and prove us wrong? Inventing facts about canon (my favorite lately has been one some other anon sent me today: that Jabitha’s love to troll about Jughead calling Tabitha his muse, and ignore that Jughead had to get high to write. Except that last week we were wrong for being excited about him calling her his muse because he was *joking* and this week it’s that we’re wrong because he had to get high to write... never mind that this is just Bughead shippers conveniently ignoring that he’s been consistently writing right along since he met Tabitha and started working the Mothman case. He’s been excited about it, working on it in the diner, sending pages to his agent... all while not being high. What he DID have to get high for was to tap into his inner Stephen King because that’s not, and has never been Jug’s style, but in order to write more weird for the little showcase he had the opportunity to be a part of, he had to get more weird, you feel me? Anyway, it’s just more grasping at straws on their end, can’t relate.)
And like, to some extent, I get them being upset. They haven’t had a properly romantic scene between them since Betty confessed to cheating, and arguably since Betty cheated period. They’ve watched Betty and Jug share plenty of awkward, stilted screen time. They’ve watched Betty make almost zero effort to connect with him meaningfully, even after he’s opened the door to her twice now, and basically reaffirmed to her twice that whatever she thought he meant in his voicemail is not what he meant. They’ve watched Betty have meaningless sex with Archie, Jughead have meaningless sex with Cora, Betty involve herself in a ...idk, pseudo-relationship? Idk what to call her thing with Glen. They’ve seen that Jug did have an ex-girlfriend (who is toxic) and are currently watching him flirt and dance and kiss and hit on this other woman who is NOT Betty and it’s upsetting them. And that’s fine, they’re allowed to be upset. Canon is giving them absolute Jack and shit right now, and Jack left town along with Jughead’s family (fjkdsfjkd I’m sorry, that was mean, but I hate FP, different rant), but that doesn’t mean they have to be hateful just because some Bugheads are enjoying Jughead have a fun and potentially meaningful dynamic with someone else.
And so we’re clear, if Betty wanted to have one of those too, I wouldn’t care either. I’d actually support her with Glen if I thought for a second Betty *was* enjoying it and Glen wasn’t such a creep. I don’t think Betty needs to be punished by being forever alone or whatever horrible behavior Bughead blogs are ascribing to us this week. And while I am certainly no misogynist, I do think Betty owes Jughead a more specific apology for her cheating than “I’m sorry I didnt tell you sooner” and does need to be honest with him about the sex her and Archie had when she came back to Riverdale. And that’s not me hating on her — the idea that Betty doesn’t owe Jughead anything and that if you disagree with that or any of her behavior this season, you’re a misogynist is... well, I don’t think people who believe that understand what misogyny is. As it is, misogynoir seems painfully lost on them as well.
But truthfully, I want Betty to be happy and I want Jughead to be happy but I don’t think either of them are in a place where they would make each other happy right now. If anything, Betty seems vaguely annoyed and/or indifferent to Jughead’s existence for the most part, and Jughead is very much wrapped up in his mystery and Tabitha at the moment. I can see why Bughead shippers are frustrated by this, but it also is what it is right now. Just roll with it, you know?
And actually, that brings me to a realization. Jughead developing a romantic interest in someone else doesn’t bother us the way that it bothers the bullying Bughead shippers, and I think that’s what bothers them the most. It’s why they automatically assume that by shipping Jabitha, we hate Betty and want her to suffer. It’s why they assume that we think Jughead should be allowed to fuck around, but not Betty. And it’s funny because like.... a lot of them *say* they love Betty and Jughead both, but uh... I don’t think that’s true at all. Or maybe they do love both, and they just love Betty more. And so when it looks like Betty might “lose out” on Jughead (even if only for a little while), and we’re not necessarily upset by that because Jughead is getting to be happy, it pisses off the larger Bughead fandom and makes them think of us as ‘lesser’ shippers. We’re not bothered by canon and they are and so they have to jump through every hoop imaginable to invalidate our canon reads and/or send us anon hate.    
Anyway, in short, I only request that the Bughead fandom stop vague-blogging about Jabitha shippers/multishippers who really are just trying to stay in our corner and ship our stuff. Like, painting us all with a broad brush and equating us all with Barchies and with the toxic quarantined side of the fandom doesn’t actually reflect poorly on *us* — it reflects poorly on Bughead shippers who are so desperate for moral and ship superiority that they have to bully people who more or less stay in their own lane just because we’re not as upset at canon as they are. Like I said in my other post, it’s tragic. 
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rnegitsune · 4 years
Text
Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.
I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.
Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one
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After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.
One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.
Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it
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The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.
Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???
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He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.
Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.
The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.
Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.
Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.
I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.
So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.
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worldiary · 5 years
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I was following a blog which reblogged porn twice so I finally decided that I was gonna have to unfollow them so I didn't have to deal with it anymore which is a bummer because I did generally like their other stuff. BUT THEN thanks to Tumblr's "hey do you want to follow this person?" system (you need to fix this @staff) the literal EXACT porn post that CAUSED ME TO UNFOLLOW THIS PERSON. SHOWED UP ON MY FRIKKIN DASH. Like "Hey, I know you just unfollowed this person, but look at this picture of a man sucking dick! Don't you want to follow this person???" No. So now I have to block this user. All because they wouldn't use a #nsfw tag and @staff 's unfortunate "let me shove random content on your dash" feature.
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