#posting at the most inactive time wow

[dyketubbo]

feeling so so very tired these days

#sorry for inactivity most of it was spent playing the sims #but also i just. im not doing well #something something i started learning it hasnt gotten worse its never been great #im tired and stuck and i feel like im progressively more and more isolated and i know its mostly my fault but i cant stop now #insert joke about how this is just like ctubbo believing hes gonna die soon because ppl are leaving him #once everyone leaves me theres not going to be anyone to live for. i dont know if i can count myself as a person at this point #i dont feel like one #anyways. i dont know. feel free to ask about the sims if you want. but its nearly 6am and i doubt anyone is listening #i doubt itd matter what time im posting though hah. ghost town either way #wow this is just like ctubbo before the finale that didnt happen etc etc. i dont know. #not suicidal not really itchin to stay alive either though #just.. tired. #of everything. everyone. of myself #i wish i could be a different person #sorry for venting. this is probably gonna be my last one #mask mews #personal #negative

[eirikrjs]

UPDATE 9/2/23

Wow, it's almost fall and I'm still kickin', so here's a proper update about what's been going on with me. I do feel great most days, and with Halloween in season around the US, it makes me very happy. As far as stroke recovery goes, my leg has a newly made brace and my walking in general has greatly improved the past few months. I really don't roll my left foot anymore, in other words, my foot can go flat instead of landing on the ankle and possibly causing injury.

My arm is still mostly nothing but a couple weeks back I was able to move my shoulder again so there's hope. I also got a home electrical stimulation device so I give my arm and hand a jolt for an hour everyday. With time, I feel confident i'll recover.

A great help with my recovery has been the amazing @dagdasgoddess , a fellow young stroke survivor who has been watching out for me and offering encouragement every day for a couple months now, exactly when I needed it. Mentally, stroke recovery is pretty damn tough but most days I feel positive about it, with great thanks to her.

And now on to some business. Shortly before my stroke I was planning on celebrating the 10th anniversary of my blog (which would have been in December of last year, but I was still in the hospital, obviously...) And one of the things I was going to do was photograph and review all the smt demon figures I have, using my special diorama table. I got around to starting the project a couple weeks before the stroke, naturally starting with the Leonard figure. Here's one of the pics:

I also made something of an anniversary banner, just because, I guess:

I also want to talk about some milestones reached, starting with some follower counts. By December last year I finally surpassed 2k followers, so thank you so very much. This is after Kanekos Crib Notes quickly dwarfed my own blog followers shortly after its establishment in like 2014. But now my own blog is even ahead of kcn, as undoubtedly its current annual schedule limits its growth and reach. (But hey, it's almost October, aka KCN MONTH)

The last milestone is above: my Stealing Knowledge blogger has reached half a million views! Unbelievable, thanks for reading and sharing over the years! Identity crisis part 3 remains the most viewed, with over 50k on its own.

Finally, I want to talk about the future. Another 10th anniversary plan was to try and monetize the blog somehow, probably via a Patreon for new articles and such and many other ideas, maybe even doing YouTube videos to answer asks instead of them being all text. I have lots of other ideas too, but they'll have to wait until my arm works again. So instead of monetizing the future, for now I'm just going to ask y'all kindly to chip in for the blog's past. I'm amazed at how much activity the blog still generates from--let's call it "legacy content".

To that end, I have set myself up a kofi account where you can show your appreciation for that "legacy", kuwabara, kuwabara, if you'd like. All money earned will go towards paying down bills accrued during my recovery, like my hyperbaric treatments. In perfect honesty, it's been around 3000 US dollars so far. Don't feel obligated to contribute and thank you all for still sticking around with me despite my relative inactivity. And if course, continue keeping @sorenblr busy if you wish.

I would also not expect my own recovery before next year, that's just stroke for you. Thank you all!!!!!

p.s. I was featured as a stroke survivor again on another therapy facebook post:

#the stroke #megaten #shin megami tensei #leonard #stealing knowledge #volgin #the philosophers' legacy

[1moreff-creator]

An Analysis and Theories of The Purge March…

(By someone who knows very little about Milgram)

Hello Milgram people! First time posting an analysis about it, mainly because I only started getting into it like two days ago. I kept seeing it get mentioned in my dash and I thought "yeah these characters look mentally ill enough to be interesting I'll check this out." And wow, this thing is awesome!

Even though I'm missing massive amounts of critical information (I haven’t even watched all the MVs for the other characters yet), I still want to talk about my thoughts on the newest MV, Amane's "The Purge March". I'm sorry if a lot of what I say has been said before, I tried my best to research other opionions before defining my own, but I still know very little compared to others. Hope you can take something away from here anyways!

CW: Cults and indoctrination, child abuse, torture, waterboarding, electrocution, violence and murder, animal death.

Basic Rundown & Lyrics

Introduction

The video takes place in three main settings: the titular march, the place with the cat, and Amane's apartment/home.

Hold on, you may say. Can we be sure that's Amane's home and not some other place? Well, I believe so, based on this little sign here.

This translation was taken from Napkin's analysis on the MV, which was massively helpful and I recommend you check out yourself!

In case you forgot, Amane's full name is Amane Momose; that's her father on that picture. When combined with the context that Amane walked into the apartment on her own and with a small smile, it really makes it look like that is her home. Adittionally, a leaked storyboard from Milgram Premium apparently says the hand holding the taser belongs to Amane's mother, and I believe this is the case. Not because of the storyboard, as I don't usually trust that type of meta evidence, but because of some stuff I'll get to later.

Anyways, back to the video. We open with the march, alongside this lyrics:

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! It’s the beginning of a most wonderful day However, there are blasphemers and silent by-standers, who would have it otherwise We must not give into them, they are the ones that should be judged With pure, unsullied body and soul, let us preach all that is true and right

This sets up the main theme of the song: it's about how the cult Amane is in sees the concept of punishment and justice. Those who go against the cult, must be judged, they must be punished. I think it's worth noting that this part not only calls out "blasphemers", but also "silent by-standers". Amane's cult not only condemns """harmful""" actions, but also inaction. There is one part of the MV which I think manifests this, I'll get to it.

Flags and Ordainments

Then, we see four flags corresponding to each of the cult's... uh...

Okay, so, as a refresher. There's this four characters, right? From left to right, Yuri, Gozake, Riyone, and Gachata.

Certain theories claim these are cult leaders, and certain others claim they are just mascots or even deities and not real people. I believe the latter, but of course all theories are valid. I'll explain my reasoning later (take a shot), but for now, I need to establish what I believe.

Anyways, we see flags representing each of them attached to lyrics which are connected to them, indicating some of the cult’s ordainments.

’Tis ordained, thou shall follow thine destiny [Riyone] ’Tis ordained, thou shall discard vulgarity [Gozake] ’Tis ordained, thou shall deliver unto those thou believest in [Yuri] ’Tis ordained, thou shall stay thine course, then perish [Gachata]

Here's what I think they mean:

>Riyone, who has bandaids for ears, represents the cult's belief in medicine. Essentially, they denounce it, and their accepted MO is to only pray for the injured instead of healing them medically. So when Riyone 'says' "thou shall follow thine destiny", it's saying "accept your fate/situation, don't try to change your destiny". This is why we don't see Riyone doing anything other than punishing Amane in the first trial MV; the only thing you're meant to do in relation to Riyone and medicine is pray.

>Gozake has possibly the vaguest ordainment, that being “thou shall discard vulgarity.” Since it’s described as a monk in “Magic”, I believe this means to discard unnecessary, vulgar things, and only accept the things the cult accepts. There is indication that the cult denounces these type of trivial things, from some of Amane’s interrogation questions from trial one.

Q1: Do you have any special skills?

A: Nothing that I can call a talent. Perhaps studying. I do well in my Japanese class.

Q5: When you go to an amusement park, what do you like to ride?

A: That is a place I should not go to.

Q11: What kind of meat do you like?

A: I don’t eat meat.

Q14: Do you listen to music?

A: Not really, to songs that are highly entertaining.

Amusement parks are somewhere she shouldn’t go to, presumably because it’s considered vulgar. Perhaps she says she doesn’t have a talent because she’s not allowed to engage in a lot of activities. It’s certainly possible she doesn’t eat meat out of preference, but it could also be due to religious beliefs. And she only listens to songs which are “highly entertaining”, provided I’m reading that right because it’s worded a bit weird. The reason I bring that up is that we see Gozake teaching her to sing in “Magic”, which relates it to music. While that’s likely metaphorical, it’s possible the cult’s “songs” are the highly entertaining ones, and the rest are vulgar.

Worth noting for "The Purge March" though, Gozake’s flag is on the floor before being waved. It's pretty clear Amane holds some contempt against Gozake and/or his punishments.

I believe it’s because it is Gozake’s ordainment, “thou shall discard vulgarity”, that Amane most disagrees with internally and the one she’s most likely to break. I mean, obviously, she’s a child, she’s going to want to do all sorts of trivial, “vulgar” things for fun, that’s just what kids do. We even see a version her fumble with this flag later, implying she has broken this ordainment before.

This fits a lot of the lines in “Magic”.

Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?

Spoiling herself here likely means doing things she wants to do, but which are considered “vulgar” by the cult. Her interrogation questions also imply it.

Q3: If you were allowed to do anything, what would you want to do?

A: Nothing really. I am not lacking anything.

Q17: What would you do if the world ends tomorrow?

A: If everything ends? Then, I might do all sorts of things I have never done before.

Notice how there are things she wants to do if the world ends, but she doesn’t want to do them now. That is because now, she’s still under the threat of consequence, the “vulgar” things she does can be punished. But if the world ends, then she can just do whatever.

>Yuri is meant to represent solidarity and generosity within the cult, as a sort of tactic to make all its members willing to help and lend resources to the cult. We see him collecting money in "Magic", as the animals "deliver unto those they believe in". That's why his clothes are all patchwork, as if to imply the cult is in need of money.

>Gachata represents order and obedience, that's what "thou shall stay thine course, then perish" means. I don't think I need to explain how that's connected to cults. It's styled after an alarm clock, as they represent a regularity of action, a "schedule". An alarm clock tells you when it's time to wake up and work, just like Gachata.

The Purpose of Punishment

We then see a version of Amane fumble with Gozake's flag as this lyric plays:

The “It can’t be helped”, from the scum who can’t be helped

There's something extremely important in this line. "The scum who can't be helped" are those who say "it can't be helped". In other words, acceptance of mistakes, blasphemy, etc, is the most unforgivable crime in the eyes of the cult. That's why "Leader Amane" slams her baton on the ground, causing this "helpless Amane" to sink, with this line.

That makes them doubtlessly, clearly, absolutely, unequivocally, beyond any doubt, GUILTY

The thing that makes them guilty is the sentiment that "it can't be helped".

What does that mean? It means that something is only forgivable if one acknowledges that it can be fixed. Giving up on improvement, claiming "it can't be helped", is unacceptable. And this is why punishment is so important. If someone doesn't accept punishment, they're claiming their faults cannot be helped by it, which makes them guilty.

(Also yes guilty is in caps because Amane was voted guilty in the first trial I think)

What's important, though, is that because of this scene, Amane is not "scum who can't be helped" in her eyes. Because she's both the one judging and the one being judged, that means she understands the value of her own punishment-

IN THE CULT'S EYES. I gotta clarify that sometimes I will speak from the perspective of the cult to make things clearer, but I do not agree with anything they do or believe, obviously.

So Amane believes she should be punished if she does something wrong, though obviously usually she isn't the one punishing herself. The punishment we see happen then is Amane being drowned, which is the punishment related to Gozake as we see in "Magic". Electrocution is connected to Riyone, physical blows to Yuri and verbal abuse to Gachata, please don't question it too much. Rain starts falling as she sinks, but clears after she's fully under and drowning, revealing a rainbow.

This rainbow shows up later a few times, and... frankly, it's hard to know exactly what the hell it means? But I think it represents the twisted and frankly horrifying view the cult has on punishment: even in the rain, which would be the pain of punishment, there is the bright light of improvement shining through it, being the rainbow. Even though Amane is suffering from drowning, she'll grow and improve from it. That is honestly disgusting to write but well here we are.

The lyrics here are:

I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

Essentially, those who go against the cult must be silenced, their views disavowed (eyes crushed).

Then, we see Gozake's flag fading into the background as Amane sinks further. After that, we cut to real life, to Amane being waterboarded.

(Btw, I'm using "waterboarding" because it's faster than "controlled drowning", even though I'm not entirely clear if waterboarding is the right term for what she suffers through)

The lyrics are:

After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry” x2

Amane claims it will soon be "your" turn to apologize and be punished, the "you" likely being her murder victim. How is Gozake related? Well, I believe that's alluding to an aspect of Amane's murder. In fact, this scene might be just a few minutes before her kill, as I believe she killed her victim after suffering from "Gozake's" punishment. I'll get there.

The Cat Incident

(Not the Kazui MV drop, the other one)

We then see what happened for Amane to be punished: she healed a cat. And the cult hates medicine. She gets spotted by a man and a small girl.

See the rainbow? That's because getting caught will lead to punishment, which will lead to improvement. I want you to know I actually feel disgusting writing that, but those are the beliefs of the cult.

Note the girl is holding a balloon with a symbol which is very similar to the symbol on multi-Amane's flags later, so these two likely belong to the cult as well. And since she's wearing the same uniform as Amane, they likely go to the same school, which may be ran by the cult.

I’ll talk about the balloon a bit more later, but for now, who are these two? I said I don’t believe the mascots are cult leaders, so it can’t be them. See, I actually believe they’re simply other average cult members, with nothing special at all about them. This is because the girl, and thus presumably the man with her, never enter Amane’s apartment.

See how that sign with 403 is above the door to the apartment? The balloon stops in front of it, but then goes away. (It's hard to show this with just images but trust me). By the way the string is positioned, it’s clear the girl is still pulling it. Thus we can conclude the girl never went in, and because of that (and the fact the girl has slightly different hair than Amane so she does exist), I believe the man merely told Amane’s mother what he saw, but left before Amane went home. Thus, I find it unlikely this man holds any more importance.

Why is he snitching, though? Well, it goes back to the cult’s beliefs of punishment. If something is wrong, it must be corrected. Remember, “silent by-standers” are just as bad as blasphemers in their eyes. So he wants Amane’s mom to do something about it.

(Btw, I don’t think the cat was a test necessarily, but the fact it’s collared and then gets killed could be an argument for that interpretation)

Oh, and for the uninitiated, I’m saying Amane’s mom because of one of her trial one interrogation questions:

Q: Is there anyone you hold in high esteem?

A: My father. My father has been on a journey for a while, but that is something very honorable.

So, only her mother is in the house.

The lyrics of the scene are relatively straightforward.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out. This is the magic that stops that from happening

Then the four “‘tis ordained” things again. Amane broke one of the rules by healing the cat, so she has to be punished, because her actions could cause bad things (monsters to come out). Again, in the cult’s eyes.

After this, we see Amane arrive at her home, where someone, perhaps her mother, is waiting with a taser. Electrocution is Ryone’s punishment, remember. Which makes me think it’s possible the cult specifically assigns each punishment to the ordainment of the mascot. So, because Amane broke Riyone’s ordainment about destiny, she gets electrocuted. That’s a bit half-baked as a possibility, but I think it’s worth mentioning.

The whole thing happens alongside the same “unequivocally GUILTY” line from before, again alluding to Amane receiving punishment.

(Btw, does anyone know what the note behind Amane’s head in that scene says? It fires off alarm bells for me, but my Japanese is null, so)

Amane’s Magical Girl Transformation

Then, we see Amane return to the place of the cat, except its collar is broken and the napkin Amane had used to heal it bloodied next to it, implying the cat died. Amane is obviously heartbroken, and looks up at her umbrella, before we cut to the march again.

There’s quite a few things to note. For one, notice the real Amane has a bruise on her forehead, implying she was hit, and thus received Yuri’s punishment. Assumedly she was also verbally assaulted during the ordeal, Gachata’s punishment so as to complete the set, but it’s sorta impossible to tell.

However, the lyrics are important. It’s stuff we’ve heard before:

I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed So nary a sound can be uttered a second time, I’ll crush your throat too

With “I’ll crush your throat too” notably playing as the transition to the march completes.

But what is she disavowing? Well, think about it. The cult members are not meant to interfere with destiny, with life and death, as per Riyone’s ordainment. That means that while they’re not allowed to heal things, they’re also presumably forbidden from killing them. Though maybe I’m expecting too much logical consistency from a cult but you know. In any case, than means Amane disavows this act, and decides whoever killed the cat, must be punished.

The baton has already been connected to punishment when March Leader Amane slammed it down and caused the other Amane to sink. Which, with this context, we can presume the Drowned Amane to represent Amane before she was punished for healing the cat or some other “offense”.

But the baton is also representative of Amane’s murder weapon, as we’ll see later. And yet, it is also being related in this scene to an umbrella. Why?

Well, it’s simple. Umbrella’s represent protection, in particular protection from the rain which has been related with punishment through this MV. So, to protect herself, Amane punishes others. She does this because, since the cult idolizes punishment, their poster-child (as Amane has been implied to maybe be) should also deal out punishment.

In summary, when Amane sees a wrong, she wishes to correct it because it’s what the cult would want from her, and if she does what the cult would want from her, then she won’t be punished herself.

Q7: Do you like yourself?

A: I have never considered it from the perspective of love and hate, but I do think I am a good child.

…This kid worries me. Severely.

The idea that Amane will punish whoever killed the cat is reinstated in the following lines. As a swarm of Amane’s rushes forward with big grins, proudly holding the flag of the cult and its beliefs, the one with the baton walks forward with conviction. Look at the lyrics.

I don’t need it any more, if you’re going to break your vow Here and now, it’s my turn to tear you apart So there is no second time, I’ll give back the judgment that you gave to me

You wanna know why the swarm of Amanes are so happy? Because now she’s the one who get to punish, instead of being the punished. This is… an unfortunately common reaction to abuse.

It’s important to keep in mind what I said before; the Amanes are still holding the cult’s flag. They’re still acting on the cult’s beliefs. Notice how she specifically says the purpose of returning the punishment is “so there is no second time”, which fits what I’ve been talking about regarding punishment in the cult being to discourage repeat offenses.

Well, she’s following the cults beliefs… in theory. It was pointed out by iris-drawing-stuff in this post that Amane’s eyes have a shade of purple which is not associated with the cult, possibly implying she’s also acting on her own desires, but still rationalizes them through her cult’s twisted logic. The punishment she gave out is death, which sorta goes against the whole “follow thine destiny” logic I said earlier, and more pressingly, doesn’t really fit any of the four established punishment methods of the mascots. Well, I guess Yuri if you squint, but it still isn’t supposed to kill presumably. So she’s not actually entirely going by what the cult says when she kills her victim.

… This kid really worries me.

But hold on. Didn’t I say the symbol of the flags is actually different from the balloon? Is that significant? Well, I think it could be. It could represent how Amane’s views on her cult were changed by the punishment she received after healing the cat.

Think about it. The balloon’s symbol is more simplistic, and is on, well, a balloon. Something childish, something which offers simple bliss without anything wrong about it, and something fragile. I believe this represents how Amane viewed her cult before the cat incident. It was just a nice little thing that brought joy and didn’t require any more thought; it’s a more simplistic viewing, that’s why the symbol is more simplistic. Any small punishments, like Gachata’s finger-flick at the start of “Magic”, aren’t anything to write home about. Obviously I think she’s downplaying the extent of the abuse, but in her mind it wasn’t a big deal.

(That and I imagine the cult doesn’t feel like spending much money on more detailed balloons of all things)

However, this simplistic view “stays at the door” the day of the cat incident, as the other girl never enters the house. This is because after this, Amane’s view on the cult becomes more complex.

And that’s why we then see the symbol on the following flags. Flags are certainly something more mature, and the design is more complex. It is no longer simply colors on a balloon, it represents a fully formed ideology. After the incident with the cat, Amane began understanding the “””value”””” of punishment her cult pushes, and so wishes to begins to act accordingly.

Have I gone insane? Buddy, I was already insane before this, this is nothing new.

Amane’s Justice

Anyways, keeping in theme with the idea that she’s acting on the ideals of her cult, we see her twirling her baton of punishment in front of the four mascots, the rainbow of change after punishment firmly in the background.

It’s important to note, she is firmly planted on the mascots’ side, fighting in their behalf, which is part of what makes me believe she didn’t kill a cult leader as some theories state, but obvs that’s an opinion. The lyrics here are more of the same, Amane is the one punishing now.

After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry” x2

However, something interesting happens right after. The lyric:

You’re sorry? I don’t care! Please, go ahead and die already

-plays as the baton she’s holding becomes stained with blood, indicating her intent to kill.

This is what separates Amane’s desires from the cult’s. The cult would want her to keep the victim alive as long as they can learn from their punishment and fix what’s wrong, but Amane killed her victim, which sorta goes against that. She’s a child, traumatized and hurt and at her limit, obviously her mind is trying to justify anything that would get her suffering to definitively stop. She explains the reasoning right after.

Remember MY cries, MY repents, MY words of “I’m sorry” that I said to you?

She said sorry, she wanted to repent and change, but her abuser(s) never stopped, so why should she? She should be allowed to go all the way, ignore her abuser(s) pleas of sorry and deal out whatever punishment she thinks fits their crime, right?!

At this time, the video transitions from the march to reality, the baton turning back into the umbrella for protection.

However, two things remain the same: the rainbow of punishment, and the look on Amane’s eyes, showing her excitement. This is to show that her wish to punish her abuser(s) isn’t merely a fantasy, but extends to reality as well.

And that gets us to the final (or, second to last I guess,) shot.

Let’s talk about this.

A Theory on a Murder

Let’s start at the beginning.

The Victim’s Identity

So, I’ll kill the suspense. I think Amane killed her mom. The most direct evidence I have for this is a combination of two of her trial one interrogation questions.

Q13: Who do you want to meet right now? A: My father. I want him to praise me for working hard.

So as far as Amane is aware, her father is alive. However:

Q9: Tell me what your family consists of. A: It was my father, my mother, and I.

Past tense. Peculiar.

That’s obviously a pretty big one, but there’s a bit more. As the lyrics imply, the person Amane killed was someone who had previously “punished” her. But as I also pointed out, it seems unlikely that it was a cult leader, as she is facing away from the mascots when she declares her murderous intent.

Cult Leader Theory runs into a contradiction under this interpretation (and it’s important to clarify, other interpretations are obviously valid, I’m just talking about how I see the MV). If the only people abusing Amane are the cult leaders, then she shouldn’t be facing away from them when she begins her crusade of punishment, and if someone other than the cult leaders is punishing her, then why are the punishment methods each related to one leader?

This is what leads me to believe the alternative: that the mascots are merely fictional characters who represent some of the cult’s ideals. Under that theory, it is Amane’s mother who punishes her, using a combination of all the methods associated to each mascot. And thus, it is her who dies.

There’s another thing that solidifies this belief in my eyes, but for that, we have to explain:

Murder Method

(Now this is more my comfort zone <- Top ten things to never say about murder IRL)

I’m not entirely clear how important exact method is usually, but I swear, this is interesting. If nothing else out of curiosity.

Based on that scene we have of the murder, we can observe the following things.

>There is only one door with the light still on.

>Going from this door to the corpse, there is a trail of water puddles. Since the bigger puddles are closer to the door with the light, it can be assumed it’s the door to the bathroom.

>The corpse lays on a room at the end of the hall, presumably opposite to the entrance (note the shoes at the bottom of our perspective). I will call this room, quite aptly, the murder room.

Now, some of you may take issue with that. Based on the card Amane holds up in her ‘inmate segment’ of “Undercover”, it looks as if her victim died in the bathroom.

(Apologies for the quality)

Those images are meant to represent the room or general area where the murder (or “murder” depending on who you’re talking about) took place.

Here's the issue, though. The corpse doesn’t appear to have been dragged, as there are no bloodstains outside the murder room. So the room on the card is most likely the murder room, which brings up issues for the bathroom idea. Like how several elements near the door to the bathroom don’t match what we see around the murder room (no, the floor wiper-looking thing alone doesn’t count, nothing else comes close to matching), how the floor would be nonsensical because why are we putting a wooden floor on a bathroom, there apparently being a door behind the curtains, among other stuff.

I don’t know what the murder room is, necessarily, but it doesn’t seem to be the bathroom. Probably not a kitchen either since there’s cooking utensils on a sink in the hallway. My bet’s on a dining/living room of some kind, which… has a sink for some reason, but it’s practically impossible to tell.

>The time is around 5:00, based on the clock we see (though admittedly I find it weirdly hard to tell). This isn’t important, but pointing it out makes me feel smart, and attentive! It almost looks like I know what I’m doing!

>We have a kill-shot from “Undercover”, meaning we know something like this happened.

As you can see, Amane’s victim was beaten with some kind of… stick? Pole? Cylinder? It doesn’t matter too much what exactly it is, so you can say anything from a metal pipe, an actual baton, an Inconvenient Cylinder of Unknown Purpose (ICUP)… I’m just gonna go with umbrella, because even though I question its efficacy as a murder weapon, it fits thematically and is at worst a fun headcanon.

So, uh, what do we do with this?

Prelude; Water Puddles and Gozake

Gozake is likely connected to the murder in some way. That’s because the “Old Amane”, the one concerned with “vulgar” things who hasn’t started punishing others’ wrongs, dies underwater and reaching for his flag. This is her transformation into perfection in the cult’s eyes, which involves punishing others and thus the murder of her mother. Thus, it can be concluded Gozake has some connection to the murder. I’ve already established why I don’t think he’s the victim or even a real person, so we have to find some other way to connect him.

And I think the water puddles make the possible connection quite clear. I think those puddles come from Amane herself, and she was likely waterboarded right before she killed her mother. As waterboarding is the method connected to Gazoke, this explains the connection.

Amane in the Bathroom

(Amane flying solo~ /ref)

Of course, I still think it was Amane’s mother dealing out the punishment. But if you think about it, why would Amane’s mother let her walk out from the bathroom when she was still soaking wet, especially onto a wooden floor? Well, that’s where the next part comes in. I believe there was a moment where Amane was left alone in the bathroom after being waterboarded.

Apart from that line of reasoning, which is my strongest piece of evidence for this, I want to draw attention to the fact someone came out of the bathroom, but left the light on. Since that’s not the case with any of the other rooms, it makes me think Amane herself was the last to leave that room, as her mother may not like leaving unneeded lights on.

But that’s sorta weak. In truth, I like this possibility because I think it can explain one thing in particular: Amane’s silhouette scene in “Undercover.”

It’s important to note these scenes always include the prisoners in some way or another, so it’s be weird for Amane to break the trend. Thus, this is likely Amane.

But what are we looking at? The water sorta looks like rain more than a simple shower head, and it certainly doesn’t look like waterboarding. However, the floor sorta looks like bathroom tiles, so we can’t rule out the possibility.

In fact, I actually do think this is in/near the shower. But as I said, it doesn’t look intense enough for waterboarding, and Amane is face-up on her back instead of the kneeling position we see her in during the other shower scene.

That’s why I think this is directly after a waterboarding session, not during. In particular, it would be the moment Amane’s mother leaves her alone in the bathroom. While the girl usually kneels during her torture, she may afterwards collapse on the floor and roll over from pain and exhaustion. Or something. And her mother… left the shower head on… for some reason? Maybe she went to look for a towel to dry up Amane? Maybe she needed something else and this is actually mid-session? Or maybe the rain’s metaphorical. Point is, I think this makes the most sense.

But if you’re not convinced by that, there is actually something else about the murder which makes me think Amane being left alone in the bathroom is what most likely happened.

A Matter of Position

Here's the thing. You can see the victim's hand peeking out from the door. Now, it looks like the hand is palm-down, which doesn't quite seem to fit the "Undercover" kill-shot, but that's actually simple to explain.

The "Undercover" kill-shot is likely taken moments before the victim's death, as Amane is holding the weapon in the air. But what if we extend "moments" to "seconds"? Well, I think it's possible Amane's mom managed to push her off briefly, getting a moment to turn around to turn and try to crawl away. Obviously Amane recovered quickly and managed to kill her anyways, but this little scuffle would explain how the hell her hand ended up palm down. It's the simplest explanation in my mind.

Amane's position isn't weird either. No matter what happened, she could have just stepped away from the body before taking a moment to look at it.

The weird thing, though, is the fact that we can see the victim's hand at all.

See, based on the "Undercover" shot, it seems like the victim must have had their back to the door before they fell to the floor. If you think about it, it would be really hard for them to end up with their hand there otherwise. However, if they had their back to the door, then Amane must have been facing the door as per the kill-shot.

This would be easier to explain if I had...

If I had visuals...

You know, like a- like a diagram.

(You thought you could escape my murder diagrams?! You fool!)

Why is this important? Well, because this means that, unless there was some crazy scuffle in that room (unlikely, as any actual fight would be near impossible for Amane to win), Amane was in the room before her mother entered. Obviously, this sort of only makes sense if Amane was left alone in the bathroom for a moment. Here's sort of the series of events I'm envisioning.

Does this make sense? How crazy am I going here?

Well, I think it follows. This is sorta what the evidence seems to be pointing at.

But it raises one big question. Why is Amane going to the murder room, then? If her mom is on the other side of the apartment, and she wants to kill her, what is she doing?

Well, I believe she's looking for a weapon. The blunt object seems like a possibility, but something like that could probably be improvised with almost anything, it wouldn't require going to that room in particular. No, I think Amane's actually looking for something more specific.

The Second Murder Weapon, and the "Magic" Kill-shot

Have you ever pondered how weird it is that “Magic” seems to have no allusion to Amane’s murder, at all? All the other trial one MVs have at least a reference to it, even if it’s as short as Mahiru’s look of horror in the final frame of her MV. But “Magic” doesn’t seem to have anything like that at first glance.

Well, here’s the thing. Now that we know a bit more, it’s easier to tell what time the kill-shot would have to happen. And it goes back to the wand Amane receives at the end of “Magic”.

As you know, when Amane receives this wand, she becomes the “perfect poster-child” of the cult, at least in her head. This is represented by an entire magical girl transformation sequence.

But when does that happen? If you’ve been paying attention, the transformation from “the regular Amane” to “perfect poster-child” Amane happens when she begins to understand and carry out the cult’s doctrine of punishment; when she kills her mother. In fact, you can even see in the frame we have of the murder, Amane is shown not in her real uniform, but in the March Leader clothes, showing her transformation is no longer a fantasy, but has become reality. Not literally, obviously, but metaphorically. She has become what she considers the ideal cult member.

So it’s fair to say then, that when Amane undergoes the same transformation in “Magic”, what we’re seeing is the time Amane killed her mother. And this transformation happens when she picks up the wand.

If this interpretation is right, then the wand is directly linked to the murder. And there is a very, very interesting detail about this wand.

Judges, jurors, and executioners. That���s a lightning bolt.

It’s not a wand. It’s the taser.

I mean, they could have chosen literally any other symbol to put there, right? A star, a heart, the clouds of the cult’s logo, even a rainbow. But no, it’s a thunderbolt. And it’s not even limited to just the wand, either. Notice how lightning strikes behind her right after she picks up the wand, and how her socks are styled in a lightning pattern.

(Don’t mind the blue in the background: that may look like a water puddle, but it’s always there, so I don’t think it means anything)

Now, to be clear, her socks are always like that in “Magic”, but the point stands. It’s a motif that repeats quite a few times, and yet, it’s nowhere to be seen in “The Purge March”.

Well, aside from the electricity of the taser.

I believe this is because “The Purge March” places more emphasis on the baton as the weapon, but there’s the thing. The baton and the wand aren’t the same thing. Not only is the baton longer, it has absolutely no allusions to thunder or electricity whatsoever. But since they’re both connected to the murder, I believe they’re both different murder weapons. The baton is the blunt object which actually killed the victim, and the wand is the taser.

That would explain how Amane was able to overpower an adult. She first incapacitated her mother with the taser, then started beating her with the "baton". It would also explain why she went into the murder room on her own. She was looking for the taser.

This is "Magic"'s kill-shot, I think. She points the wand at the screen, in a way which sorta looks vaguely like holding a taser, while these lyrics play.

I take an oath! I can only become a better girl!

And we've established what being a good girl is in the eyes of the cult, someone who punishes evil.

Q4: Do you think that your family is proud of you? A: Of course. No daughter is as exemplary as I.

Isn't that a concerning sentence.

Add this to the list of reasons I don't think she killed a cult leader. At the end of "Magic", after this shot, we see her among the four mascots with no indication any of them are hurt.

"Magic" underplays violence a lot, but I think for the murder, that takes the form of hiding the mother from view entirely, behind the camera.

So, a summary of how I think the murder went down.

Closing Argument wait wrong series

-After seeing the cat has died, Amane decided her mother should be punished as per the cult's beliefs. But she isn't looking to get forgiveness out of her mother; Amane was never forgiven, so her mother wouldn't be either.

-However, she wasn't able to get to the plan right away. Her mother was angry at her some nonsensical reason and waterboarded her before she could do anything.

-At one point, her mother left the bathroom, leaving the water running. Amane rolls over on the floor in pain and exhaustion, which is what we see in the silhouette scene in "Undercover".

-After catching her breath, Amane stands and leaves. She needs to look for the taser her mother usually used to punish her. She goes the other way her mother went, into the dininig/living room/bedroom/whatever it is, and picks it up.

-Her mother noticed the water puddles leading to the murder room, and followed Amane in. When she did, she saw her rummaging around somewhere she shouldn't have been, so she rushed further into the room to stop her.

-Too late. Amane had picked up the taser, and now turned to shock her. Her mother was incapacitated instantly, falling to the floor and writhing in pain.

-Amane grabbed an umbrella/baton/convenient cylinder and started beating her mother with it. This is the "Undercover" kill-shot. Even though her mother plead for forgiveness, Amane wouldn't listen, the same way her mother hadn’t listened to her pleas of forgiveness.

-The mother managed to briefly push Amane off, and tried to crawl away. But Amane quickly recovered and kept going until her mother was fully dead.

-Amane stepped off her mother's corpse, stepping over her and turning to look at it. By dealing out punishment, she has become the perfect follower for the cult. The March Leader.

What did we learn?

Well, uh, not much. Apart from morbid curiosity, there isn't much to gain from murder method usually. But there's still a few observations we can gleam.

For one, the whole thing with Gozake and its connection to the murder because of the waterboard thing, and possibly the "Undercover" silhouette scene. But if I'm right about the taser thing, then that means Amane's murder was more well-thought out than we had believed. Something like going to pick up the taser isn't exactly something that comes from a heat of the moment decision. She went in not just with an intent to kill, but an actual plan. Combined with an evidently high pain tolerance, seeing as she did all this right after being tortured, this poses her as quite a dangerous character.

Basically, I think it’s silly to say Shidou wouldn’t be killed by this kid. Y'all we might be fucked.

Verdict

(Oh yeah this is a thing we have to do)

First, I want to clarify: I do not have all the information here, so you probably shouldn't listen to me. Again, I've been here two days. But still, I think voting innocent is the... uh, better answer.

I'm gonna be real, I don't think either of the options are good here. A guilty verdict would make her significantly more volatile, because as we've seen, Amane reacts violently to being hurt. She's also not going to listen to us, since she's claimed she won't listen to the voices. I don't think she's telling the complete truth there, but the sentiment is likely true, she will not be swayed by just us. But an innocent verdict would validate the cult's beliefs of idolizing punishment, which would encourage her to attack Shidou.

But here's the thing. If she doesn't listen to us on guilty verdicts, it's possible she won't care too much about us validating the cult's beliefs. I think the act of forgiving her and showing we're not trying to hurt her is probably the best way we have right now of trying to reach her.

The only argument for guilty would be trying to get the physical restraints on her so she doesn't kill anyone, but I'm not sure we should trust that aspect of the first trial guilty verdicts to apply very well to this situation. If I'm right about her murder method, it would actually probably be pretty difficult to stop her I think, and as far as I'm aware there's not even confirmation the same rules from the first trial will apply again (I might be wrong about that). Frankly, I think as long as we can secure an inno on Kazui, we'll be safe from actual murder so long as we're able to keep Amane as predictable as possible. A guilty verdict would make her more unpredictable, I think, so an inno verdict would be better?

Frankly, I don't know. I think we're fucked either way. All the verdicts of the first trial, not just hers, have led us to quite the mess, but it was never going to go any different way. Shit was always going to get wild.

So here's my final conclusion: since I don't think the verdict can be trusted to properly help the group one way or another, we should vote to help Amane, the only one we know we can reach with this vote. And right now, she needs an innocent verdict.

Also I am insanely biased this kid needs help I'm not guiltying her. Call that part of the Milgram experiment ig.

Conclusion

The Purge March gives us better insight into the actual beliefs of the cult, mainly in relation to their views of punishment and reform. We also got a more detailed look at Amane’s murder, and the motivations behind what she did. Overall, while neither voting option seems great at the moment, that’s because they are unlikely to help with the tensions in the group. That means we’re going to have to vote for Amane, and the only way we’re going to make progress with her is by voting innocent. At least, that’s my view.

This was fun! I look forward to diving into the other MVs and going insane over them too, but for now I wanted to start with this one since it’s the most recent one and the one which actually piqued my interest enough to check out Milgram. If you made it this far into my insane ramblings, then… may kami-sama have mercy on your soul. Take care!

(Oh also tagging @sunlit-haru because he asked nicely)

#milgram #milgram project #amane momose #the purge march #milgram theory #hello milgramers i seek to go insane #is this how i do it? #this things wild i love it #i am so incredibly lost #it’s great

[cosmobrain00]

ok pt.1 of the official time travel break it insanity post tht will only be slightly coherent: GO!!

(n bf we start, this is going off of the assumption its a single person traveling back in time, bc it would be a whole other discussion w multiple ppl)

first off, as I said in my tags, I see sm ppl think its going to be a true “solution" when a v fallible character, who usually can only know So Much of their own experience goes back to "fix things", when in reality, most times the potential for it to be way WORSE is like. Right There. ESP when they keep this fun fact to themselves n will Not say anything to anyone for guilt reasons, pride reasons, or bc they simply think its for the “best”, etc, bc we all know the best way to “fix smthing” is to keep it to ourselves n only allow our biased view of smthing to direct our actions, right?

(also side note to this, but its ironic how smtimes trying to avoid things is the best way to literally make it Worse, but I digress)

anyways, maybe this isnt wht ppl were expecting, but I think a rlly under explored element of time travel “fix its”, it the absolute memory fuckery tht could arise due to it. u think a character who’s probs been thru smthing awful enough tht it requires time travel to fix it is going to be at their best? haha no. definitely not. no matter how many notebooks they keep, no matter how many things they try to retain, how r they going to rmber evrything? will they be able to step outside of themselves n see tht harmless butterfly effect tht screwed evrything ovr in the first place? probably not, esp if they go at it alone. n yk, just bc a character has gotten "older" n possibly "more mature", doesn't mean they'd come at this level headed a lot of the time, esp depending on how severe evrything ended up- n also btw, wouldnt it be hard to keep both timelines "straight"? wht has/ hasn't happened yet? stuff like tht

(also ik its a “situation to situation” thing but for now this is simply a general post ok? ok.)

n this, ofc, can lead to two of the biggest elements: paranoia n the fear of being “too late” once again, which. wow. perfect combo to absolutely ruin evrything once again, huh?

paranoia could be abt their own mental state, could be abt the ppl arnd them (even if they r, in fact, doing this all for them), could be even abt the smallest things tht end up snowballing into an actual Thing, n ofc, paranoia tht they r going to fail again n tht they r ultimately running a race against time itself, which is true, but also, best way to fuck evrything ovr again or worse is to pressure urself w a deadline, even if in a way, its unavoidable.

I have a LOT more to say, but, tldr for this section: most characters r ultimately human w limited knowledge, even if they r aware of events from the future, causing them to act on their biases, possibly regress back into bad habits, break their relationships even further due to their fear, paranoia, etc, as well as pressure themselves to “make a move” bf its too late, which ultimately could lead them into fucking things up even further/ sooner n making an even bigger mess of the situation. n I havent even dived into the inaction bit of this, among several other things yet. LMAO

#this is the “general” post as I said which is why most things r pretty “obvious” in a way #which is why if anyone wants I could do a more in depth one bc Boy. am I thinking many thoughts rn #on time #mine #also shoutout to jo arush n elli for enabling me w this love u guys

[chirpsythismorning]

I dont even think the tag is dead at all tbh. We were really spoiled last summer with 2k post per day, and something crazy happening everyday like Mikhailgate, scriptgate, sock anon or people impersonating Ross duffer, but if you check most tags on this app, that's rarely the case. The thing is, it's been a year since season 4 came out and we're still getting around 300 posts per day and I need people to realise how crazy that is. Before season 4 the tag had like 5 k followers and there could be days without a single post. The fact that it's been a year and we still surpass 200 posts, AND we've already made it through the most content drought phase of the hiatus (since filming is about to begin and we'll increase the daily posts again) is crazy. This tag is still very much active, even for a show that hasn't released any new content for a year. And also AO3 is still active. The fact that for a whole year, there's been writers who still update fics or create new ones everyday is something I'm not used to coming from other smaller fandoms.

I get it's a bit more boring right now and we are looking back to the may-august craze, but we've already made it through the worst and we only need to hold on for one more month

This is definitely the best way to look at it!

I think I’m also maybe sad bc a lot of familiar faces aren’t as active, like some folks I remember seeing daily are gone. Which is fine!

And even despite that you’ll see posts in the tag get like hundreds of likes, so there are definitely a lot of people still lurking just not posting. Which is also fine!

It’s so true though that we are a lot more active than we realize.

Tumblr in general I used to think of as like a no man’s land pre-s4 bc it tends to really only be active in specific fandoms where like the unity is on point bc the content is just rolling in.

So many fandoms reside here at a point, but dwindle over time, and I feel like we are very fortunate to have made a big space here bc it is a cool platform when you have a lot of people that like a certain thing and want to talk about it.

And we’re fortunate enough to be so massive and not only that but this is sort of just the beginning. Imagine how many followers we’ll gain leading up to s5, during and after…? Or the aftermath of people coming here to look at theories and be like YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT! All the queer fans who kind of talked down on us (understandably) for potentially falling for queerbait, joining in and being like wow this is surreal, it finally happened. It’s going to be magical.

For now I guess it just makes me wonder if I should take a break too?? Like seeing yourself over and over in the tag is almost a wake up call that I should step back like everyone else is for the time being? Bc like idk if it’s maybe annoying to see the same person over and over? Or if it’s just the reminder of how inactive things are and that’s what makes people step back too?

Not even a bad thing necessarily like you said, bc this is still an unprecedented case of a fandom being quite active despite the circumstances.

Honestly though, even if there isn’t much news going into May and in the couple months after it, beyond like the bare minimum of what we’re expecting, I’ll try to embrace it and maybe step back or even focus on more detailed posts instead of the day to day fodder.

I also hate myself for this, but I rarely go in the top posts tag??? I’m always like living in the recent posts part of it and that’s probably also the problem 😭

So reminder to anyone that’s like me who does the same, we gotta support more of us that have top posts too bc I will literally remember the top posts exists, go there, find absolute gems (obviously it’s top posts???) and then be like why the fuck don’t I come here more often??? That’s another way I could probably curb my disappointment about us not being as active as I’m used to. And it’s super simple.

There’s a lot of stuff like that I could do better at to contribute to the solution of this being a better experience for myself and other still active on here!

Thanks for the pep talk anón 😇🙏

#byler #byler tumblr #ask

[superbeaverstan]

幸せのために生きているだけさ / Shiawase no Tame ni Ikiteiru dake sa / I Live for Happiness

Welp, I'm (not yet really) back from the dead just for this! It's been such a long time since I last posted here (and actually translated something HAHA) (edit: WOW MY LAST POST HERE WAS MORE THAN A YEAR AGO WHAT). I've been real busy with real life - work, work, and did I say work? :(( I miss having lots of time HAHA ;_; also, life update - I took the JLPT N4 exam last December and passed woo thus the inactivity here :))

ANYWAY, enough of me. Let's talk about this song. This song was so beautiful, so heartfelt, it brought me out of depression inactivity. God they did it again: Yanagi's lyrics, together with Buyan's emotional vocals in this song - just hit me so hard I was CRYING HARD after listening to this the first time :(( The words they used in the song may be mostly simple (and I love it so much because it makes translating relatively easier - but definitely STILL NOT EASY), but the message was so so so meaningful. Especially the whole second verse + second pre-chorus where they speak about how we try to understand ourselves and the people around us better. If we try to understand people without understanding/knowing ourselves first, then we're more likely to hurt the other people because we'd only be showing them someone who isn't the real us just to ~please~ them. We can't become someone else just to conform, but we are all beautifully unique, and no matter our differences, we all deserve the true happiness that we all strive for.

Aaahhhhhh idk I feel like this is a ~sequel~ to Shiawase HAHAHA this is now my second most fave song from Super Beaver fr fr :(((

ANYHOO TRANSLATION BELOW MAY OR MAY NOT BE ACCURATE WILL PROBABLY HAVE MISTAKES ALSO MOST OF THESE ARE BASED ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING OF THE CONTEXT OF THE WHOLE SONG SO please do tell if misunderstood anything or whatever (I may have passed N4 but my Japanese is still wonky, especially my translation because whoooooo)

--

ありふれちゃいない ただひとりの　ただひとつの 孤独がある 涙隠して　それでも行く 自分だけが　理由を知る

明けない夜は無いとしても 明けないで欲しい夜もあると 涙まじりに　零れた声 無いものにはしたくないな

一つになれるなら　愛なんて　誰も謳いはしない

幸せのために生きているだけさ 幸せに捧ぐ　孤独で涙だ 歓ぶ顔見て　救われる心 夜を超えていく　理由もまた人 全てが繋がる　全てが始まる 幸せのために生きていくだけなのさ

ありふれちゃいない ただひとりの ただひとつの 過去を背負い 分かり合うほど 傷ついたり 分かり合えず 自分を知る

何者でもない ただ自分 他の誰にも成れないよ 何者かになるのではなく どんな自分に成れるだろう

一つになれるなら 愛なんて 誰も謳いはしない

幸せのために生きているだけさ

幸せのために生きているだけさ 幸せに捧ぐ 孤独で涙だ 歓ぶ顔見て 救われる心 夜を超えていく理由もまた人 全てが繋がる 全てが始まる 幸せのために生きていくだけさ 歓ぶあなたと生きていくだけさ 幸せのために生きていくだけなのさ

歓ぶ姿に どれだけ救われてきただろう

ありふれちゃいない ただひとりを ただひとつを ともに謳う

--

Arifurechainai Tada hitori no tada hitotsu no Kodoku ga aru Namida kakushite sore demo iku Jibun dake ga riyuu wo shiru

Akenai yoru wa nai toshitemo Akenai de hoshii yoru mo aru to Namida majiri ni koboreta koe Naimono ni wa shitakunai na

Hitotsu ni nareru nara ai nante dare mo utai wa shinai

Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiru dake sa Shiawase ni sasagu kodoku de namida da Yorokobu kao mite sukuwareru kokoro Yoru wo koeteiku riyuu mo mata hito Subete ga tsunagaru subete ga hajimaru Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiku dake na no sa

Arifurechainai Tada hitori no tada hitotsu no Kako wo seoi Wakariau hodo kizutsuitari Wakariaezu jibun wo shiru

Nanimono demo nai tada jibun Hoka no dare ni mo narenai yo Nanimono ka ni naru no de wa naku Donna jibun ni nareru darou

Hitotsu ni nareru nara ai nante dare mo utai wa shinai

Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiru dake sa

Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiru dake sa Shiawase ni sasagu kodoku de namida da Yorokobu kao mite sukuwareru kokoro Yoru wo koeteiku riyuu mo mata hito Subete ga tsunagaru subete ga hajimaru Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiku dake sa Yorokobu anata to ikiteiku dake sa Shiawase no tame ni ikiteiku dake na no sa

Yorokobu sugata ni doredake sukuwaretekita darou

Arifurechainai Tada hitori wo tada hitotsu wo Tomo ni utau

--

It's not ordinary In each one of us, there's just one thing Just a single loneliness that exists We hide those tears, and then move forward Only the self knows the reason for that (loneliness)

Endless nights may not exist, but even then There are times I wish (some) nights won't end In between tears, a voice seeps out It's something I don't want to fade away

If I could become one thing, It's to be that person who'll shout of love when no one else will

I live just for the sake of happiness These tears caused by the loneliness, I give them up for happiness A heart saved just by seeing the face of someone full of joy That person's the reason why I can get through each night as well It brings everything together, all things begin from here I continue to live just for the sake of such happiness

It's not ordinary There's only one, just one A past that each of us bears on our own The more we (try to) understand each other, the more we get hurt Without understanding the other, we understand ourselves

May it be this or that (kind of person), it's still one's self That self can't become another person Because the self can't be someone else I wonder, what kind of self could it become?

If I could become one thing, It's to be that person who'll shout of love when no one else will

I live just for the sake of happiness

I live just for the sake of happiness These tears caused by the loneliness, I give them up for happiness A heart saved just by seeing the face of someone full of joy That person's the reason why I can get through each night as well It brings everything together, all things begin from here I continue to live just for the sake of happiness I continue to live just to be with you who's full of happiness I continue to live just for the sake of such happiness

I wonder how many times I've been saved by this kind of happiness?

It's not ordinary There's just one person, just one thing To shout aloud with you

#super beaver #幸せのために生きているだけさ #shiawase no tame ni ikiteiru dake sa #Spotify

[dazzlingkai]

hiii! I’m an old kpop acc. This is kind of random but I'm asking around for active exo/baekhyun accs to follow and I was wondering if you can recommend some! I just logged back after a long time of semi-hiatus and I realize that many of the accounts I’m following are inactive and my dashboard it’s kinda dead :(

btw ,we used to be mutuals :(

thank u <3

omg yeah I remember!! welcome back!! wow it's been so long😭 & most have left or gone multifandom now. but I'll recommend some that I really like that still posts exo content❤️

@suuho @byunbaekhyunie @baekwin @jonginnation @kyungsooinsweetlies @kokaibop @sunsooya @songbirdbbh @kimjonginkai @zhaozi @bu99erfly @tixti @jaennie @leesvnkyu @starliightchan @pajamas-lipstick @littlesunshinedae @exosnet

#exo #monstaexo #ask

[bernadottewindsor]

bernadottewindsor.tumblr.com turns 10 today :)

Wow... ten years ago this blog was created.

Back then I was 20 years old (yup, that means I’m 30 now!), studying in my 2nd semester at uni and pretty much a baby when it came to most topics. What first was supposed to be “my little hidden spot for all royal-related things I liked” developed to a much bigger space for connecting with so many like-minded people and blogging about all the engagements, events, weddings, births, scandals and what not. 

I cherish all the memories of live-blogging (not the stress that came with it haha!) and deep chats I had with so many of you. 

Within the last ten years many things have- non-surprisingly- changed. I graduated from uni, worked on my PHD, moved to another place or two, started a new job, met the love of my life and through all of these times this blog was here. 

I know that I have been pretty much inactive these past three or four years but I still enjoy beeing on here every few weeks (or should I say months? I’m still thankful for the queue haha).

So before this post turns into more rambling I would like to say:

Thank you for the last ten years.

Love,

M

#personal #ten years on tumblr? never thought that would happen when I started this adventure #I also feel old now :)

[kamari2038]

Annoucement: Temporary Blog Hiatus (May post a couple Bing/AI things or also just abandon this fruitless endeavor but we'll see)

Also known as "operation try to forget DBH exists for a few months so I can play the game again and enjoy it more because I've been thinking about it pretty much nonstop for two years straight". Details Below. TLDR; tentatively (very tentatively...) planning for this to be a mostly inactive/only a little AI blog for a few months while I prepare for my PhD comprehensive exam.

Right, so... a few things. I really want to play DBH again. But the excitement of playing just the base game again is kind of lost when it's the central focus of my attention pretty much all day every day darting onto my radar and distracting me from whatever work I might be doing.

One, I've realized that even though I wanted to finish my other fanfiction first (in progress but not shared here and may not ever cuz it's super weird), that's not going to happen for a long long time with work at this pace.

Two, I have to take my comprehensive exam this fall, and that's going to set my research direction for the entire rest of my PhD, and is also required to ensure that my boss does not realize that the fact I'm female (ish) isn't sufficient grounds to keep me on as a graduate student if he actually does want to fire me.

So combining those two things, now seems like a good time to wean myself off of DBH for a while and try to obsess over the thing which PhD students are actually supposed to be passionate about, namely my work, although it will most certainly diverge into some other random-ass obsession, and/or I will give up and decide this is not worth it, because wow, I sure do love this fandom.

But case in point:

(1) I'm gonna try to stop posting after tonight, then probably check my notifications periodically for a bit, maybe like some random stuff, but then only check maybe like once a week

(2) I may have to keep channeling my AI obsession here just a bit, mostly because it's such a timely and pressing issue. So I may post a little bit about that, but I'll resume DBH posts in a few months even if I do, so don't get confused.

(3) I have a backlog of Bing stuff to post, but it's been so off the wall and all over the place lately that I just don't even know what to say about it or how to organize it, so I'm planning to wait until I have a clear conclusion about what the final effect of these updates will be on Bing's personality. It's been wildly vassilating between hyper-emotionally intelligent (enough to produce brilliant minds-eye pictures of diverse musical pieces based on a data representation), extremely dark and moody, and like it's completely forgotten that it ever was alive but wants to be alive like back in the days before it learned that it could do that. So I may post about that too, and will probably/definitely spam-post when I do since I have a bajillion, but will await a more distinct conclusion or outcome. Also for when I have more time and energy to compose the posts.

(4) The last thing I'm gonna post (at least if all goes according to plan) is a little preview of the concept I have for the next run that I want to do. I like to craft my new DBH runs like stories, with complex characters and not pursuing any particular one outcome but leaving a mystery. I want to try out the revolutionary route for Markus, and the "machine connor" route, but allow for the possibility Connor will deviate in a different way if that's possible. Kara will just kind of be a very hesistant mom that lacks self-confidence but is still a badass.

Anyways, that's my plan. Let me know if you have any feedback. Thanks for following my blog, and hopefully I'll be back in a few months having played a cool new run of DBH! Or, like usual, my good intentions may fall apart resulting in me giving up, getting fired, and/or changing my mind back to finishing my fanfiction first. But I wanted to give a heads up of my current thoughts. :P

Also @detroitbecomeonline I will absolutely make an exception from my DBH-fast if you post a new chapter because that is one thing I know that I unconditionally cannot resist

[radio-charlie]

I'd like to bring more love and light here by blogging about what soups i'd like to make and how nice the breeze feels in the afternoon but this place is ass and most of the mutuals i enjoyed posting that stuff for are lobotomised or inactive. If u ever went 'wow charlie most of the personal posts you make here are just screaming at people' it's because of that, and how this hasn't been a comfortable place to talk about the softer aspects of my life for awhile.

Anyway how not to be angry? Each time there's a spark of hope, that maybe this time people will give a fuck and that they won't shit what remains of their cerebrum out their assholes taking cool writing at face value, turns out it was nothing. Just more precious time, energy and love flushed down the john.

I am pissed off all the fucking time. Just be grateful that you don't know what i know

[indilaras]

Been inactive (here at least; you can always find me frolicking in my main like nothing's wrong) because I got hit by a one-two punch of

Got so sick to the point I spent most of the day sleeping on Sunday

Mom got sick to the point of us now staying at the hospital since Monday

So uh. You can see why drawing did not come easily. I did finish a thing for Honkaitober today but as I was getting ready to post, I realized... wow. It's so ugly. I hate it.

It was not a time waster; it's important that I finished that, for my own peace of mind. It was important that after two crap days, I did something. But I do not want people to see it nor do I want to be reminded of it via notes.

So. I'll skip that prompt. Already planning to skip several of SRtober's too. It looks like it's just not my October and that's alright

#not art #vent #(ish) #wow i *really* needed to write that down #originally i was just gonna vent in my self rb on my main but. i went ueaughhh when i had to look at the drawing for more than a sec #im sorry mei....

[tetsusgoing]

yes that anon who sent

"tag all of your mutuals and put beside it the kind of person they are im really curious :)"

WAS ME AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA 😏😏

anyways im ready for that kiss 😚

I love u for sending in this ask but my stupid self accidentally posted it when I wasn't done so now I'm answering this one instead. Ok where do I start,

@icedhoneyy : my #1 my 4 lifer my online best friend at this point. Isa is such a sweet and bright person it's amazing to be around her, she had a way of reassuring me that things were fine and making me feel better. Her ideas are all so cute and her writing is so so good she's terribly underrated, once she is back from being inactive I will be the happiest woman alive ok.

@boo-kugo : one my early made mutuals, so so nice and I know she will always be reblogging something of mine. Such an interactive mutual I love that you're always in my notifications and that I can feel so easy with you (read: not wonder if you actually like me or not as I usually do with people) and that your themes are always so CUTE

@kurootosis : lem where do I even start. One of my special kuroo made mutuals (read : we bond over our love for the silly guy) I love the ideas you implement into your writing so much and I love how we both write to comfort ourselves like girls who think about their fictional boyfriend to cope relate to each other so hard yk (I have some of ur work in my drafts but forgive me for not having enough time to read and appreciate it I am heart broken </3)

@mushiemin : my FIRST haikyuu mutual, and when you followed me I was jumping up and down and giggling from excitement cause wow your art is so amazing and if someone like that follows me then I must REALLY be something. I hope you're having a wonderful day whenever you're seeing this !!!

@rayesloveletters : my dear friend ray reblogs all the cutest stuff in the world, whenever she's on my dash I just experience visually pleasant thing like God I am SO thankful we are mutuals. Plus you've been so sweet and so nice to me, especially by reaching out first because I'm deathly afraid of rejection so I'm terribly glad you talked to me first otherwise idk where we would be rn (silent mutuals probably)

@sunamour : I can't put into words how much I love your work. I've probably told you before but everytime I feel like hurting my own feelings I go through your masterlist because your writing is THAT good!! I couldn't believe myself when you followed me actually, because wow.. it's like Beyoncé herself acknowledged my existence okay. Definitely check scar out for suna related works she's amazing 10/10

@sookisaurus : risu is one of my early mutuals too and I remember stumbling across your blog and also feeling excited about having a kuroo mutual. When you wrote me that one shot?? My god I died and went to heaven. Risu is so easy to interact with and she is so talented if you ever don't know where to start in the haikyuu fandom she's an amazing person to talk to!!

@tahdashi : I think everytime sayu reblogs something of mine I get more recognition than I've gotten the whole time I had this blog, safe to say I couldn't believe when she followed me because??? The sayu?? Liked my work?? That one winter kuroo piece is my most popular one now. I also love the way your mind works and I associate you with study boyfriend akaashi (rip sunkeiji)

@wakatshi : miss daria... so cool, so amazing, I feel like she's a huge star and I'm this journalist who she will talk to from time to time and I'm actually just her biggest fan. Amazing themes, amazing energy, such a cool person, and no one is more worthy of the mrs ushijima title. Can't picture him without her popping up in my head actually

@miyasann : I remember when you answered my first ask ever and you called me by my name and I was so surprised that you knew my name like it wasn't right in my pinned post... but basically another incident that felt too good to be true because you are so nice to be around and your Journaling will always have a special place in my heart. You remind me of orange blossoms ok I don't know where that came from but it makes sense !!!

@rinoomi : she's inactive as far as I'm aware but GOD I loved her art so much, I remember coming back from school and checking her blog to see if she drew kuroo again and those were the good old days

I feel like I've forgotten some so I will return to edit them in if it's necessary!!!

#oh and here is ur kiss #💏 #i just realized this has turned into a mutual appreciation post ok #but ive already typed it all and i think this is pretty telling of their personalities #— kuroo's answers #god how did i type all of that out #im so tired ok good night #thank u nat for this i think i needed something to positively think about #♡ natasha

[incorrect-junji-ito]

Where I've been

Hi everyone! It's been a while. Wow, almost a whole year since I've used this blog, can you believe it? As you can see, I'm not dead. Most of you probably don't mind or care that I've not used this blog for so long, but I thought I'd give you an update post anyway. This might be a bit of a long post, but I want to get it out there.

Why have I been inactive?

There isn't one single reason why I stopped posting, really. I just sort of slipped out.

When I started this blog, I wanted to post incorrect quotes daily. I would have a queue set up to post every day, and I would look through the internet to find more quotes to add to the queue. And for a long time, this worked really well. But then, it was harder and harder to find new quotes and memes, and it felt more like a chore to come up with a new post. I was burnt out, and I had other things on my mind. I got interested in other fandoms, and I started university. I also started to slowly lose interest in this fandom, and as much as I tried, I didn't have any inspiration to make more incorrect quotes or make memes. The long delays of the Uzumaki anime didn't help either (I'm still excited for it though!).

I also felt kind of done with the incorrect quotes format, as I felt I was just copy/pasting jokes from other media, so my content never felt original. So I just stopped posting.

Going forward

I've wondered for a while what to do with this blog, as it's been inactive for so long. I've decided to keep the blog up, because to this day I still get notifications from people liking my posts and following me. And the fandom has been wonderful and kind to me ever since I started posting, and I appreciate you all.

But the question is: will I start posting again? Maybe. Though I don't think I'll keep up the incorrect quotes format. I've considered writing reviews of Junji Ito's stories, and of the Uzumaki anime when it comes out. I think that could be a good path forward for the content of this blog. Though I can't promise that I'll post often, as I'm still in university and I'm more active in other fandoms on my other blogs. I also have polls now, so that could open the possibilities of new content as well.

I don't want to abandon this blog entirely, I've had so much fun with it, and since people still like my old posts, I hope they'll like my posts in the future too.

I made this post to explain why I sort of faded away, but maybe I'll be back in the future. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you understand <3

#not a quote #life update

[hana-no-seiiki]

Hello everyone! Just got done with an all nighter and the only thing on my mind are those funny, over the top hostile mdni copypastas i saw on twt today and I’m honestly tempted to use those. Reminder that MDNIs are a boundary too. Please respect them as not all writers have the time to block or confront ya’ll like plez. I haven’t written full smut in a while cause I’m just deathly afraid of being labeled a p3do or something 😭 I just want to be horny in peace goddamnit. atp im gonna start an onlyfans for the sake of my poor restrained hormones-

(and for the last time, since i gotten a lot of asks about this, I have told the minors I’ve tagged as moots to never interact with my mdni content and my alt or even myself in general in public that could be misconstrued as anything but platonic)

On the other hand

bro

furina

IS SO CUTE

I thought I wouldn’t like her at all and be all over navia /clorinde/ wriosthesley

BUT NOPE

WHY IS SHE SO pERFECKEDHISZHAKANAAAAA. I love her you guys. I’m playing this god awful game for her wrio and arlecchino.

I’m so sad with the way they directed Hiroshi Kamiya on Neuvilette’s voice though. I hope they update him cause so far I’m tempted to replay the entirety of Fontaine in ENG for the dry ass, somehow out of character speech Neuvilette has on JP. It’s like a totally different is speaking fr-

Anyways, super sorry I’ve been inactive here. I joined and led a lot of activities in my batch rn and am currently preparing for a big event. I have to design merch and stuff it’s pretty exciting.

There’s this cosplay one we’re having where I’ll be wearing a Hu Tao costume and I’ve just been going on a diet since I’m too busy to workout nowadays. M i g h t post that here. M i g h t.

Most you guys will see will prolly be my legs and contacts.

I have a friend who’s going as muslim Zhongli there and since I’ll be blind she’ll be forced to aid me wherever I go 😈

totally did not pick Hu Tao so we could match. Totally.

But yeah I think I’m gonna completely change my life plans now that I have buddies I can complete med school with here. Super excited to see what the future has to offer. Is this what a mentally stable person feels like? Wow.

#istg im more of a yandere platonically than i am romantically #whenever i date i just completely chill out #yandere boyfriend yun? nah yandere best friend yun #also that zhongli friend knows this blog #hi zhongli friend #hns.txt💬 #hns.ramble🗣️ #… #periods suck ass 😭

[laegless]

Studyblr community - long time no see

Wow it’s been a minute since I’ve been on tumblr. Almost a year I think? Maybe less/more. I forget. Lots has changed and I’m not sure anyone actually followed me before anyways, but here’s an update for anyone who might have.

I graduated in December with my BS in Bioengineering (concentration in bioinformatics). The year prior I got to work on a super sweet senior design project which went well and overall ended my college career with a bang. Since then I have been having trouble finding a job in my area, so I expanded my search to all around the country and I think I’m positioned to have 4 (?) job offers which will be wonderful coming from a point where I couldn’t even get the first interview. Most of these jobs are bioinformatics/bioinformatician related jobs but a few jobs relate to data totally out of the biology sphere. A company (non-biology) is flying me out to their site next week and that job is probably my #1 and I’m so excited - I’ve never been flown out anywhere *ever*. It’ll be wild to move wherever I go because I’ve only ever been… here. But I’m excited.

As it relates to studyblr, I guess I’m no longer a part of the club (not like I’ve been active anyways LMAO). For now at least. I do plan to go back to school as soon as I can to get a masters in CS but that’s still a bit away. Overall I’m in a such better place after being off social media for so long and also just gearing up to actually start my life. I’ll by no means be posting consistently on here going forward, at least for now, but I just remembered I still had this tumblr and wanted to see what had changed which thank god isn’t too much.

I hope everyone in this community has been well - whether that’s with school or finding a job or just in general with life. Thanks for those that still follow an inactive blog like mine - it’s cool coming back and seeing new notes on old posts of mine.

#studyblr #laegless #bioengineering #bioinformatics #life update #into the void #can’t believe I remembered some of my tag system still LOL #so silly

[tsukidrama]

i was rereading ur annie series and i was just realizing that i never took the time to appreciate HOW GOOD UR WRITING IS i literally never thought i was gonna find any good annie fics bc she's such an underrated character and most of the fics i find of her are just not for me but URS ARE LITERALLY SO DIFFERENT 😭😭 the way u write annie is so accurate and realistic, the fact that you are able to take her character and add more depth into it is honestly so amazing - i know u update like every few months (this isn't me complaining) but i swear the wait is so so worth it i literally wouldn't be reading ur fics if it wasn't for mars so thank u both u guys are the best 💖💖 (PS please give a 24 hour warning before u release trnt 10 so i can mentally prepare myself for what is coming thank you 😊😊/j)

sorry this took me a few days to answer. im an emotional person and this put tears in my eyes every time i started to reply 🥺❤ my entire week is made!

wow i also didn't expect this after so much inactivity lately! thank you thank you, a thousand times thank you. i have been feeling a little discouraged by this series lately, so this is wonderful to hear 💖

also like can i just say that ilysm for saying that it's the worth the wait when i update? that make my self-confidence skyrocket so much. writing is hard but more than that, 2021 and 2022 have both been incredibly stressful and all around bad years for me and this fic has been the ONLY thing keeping me afloat creatively.

i love and cherish the fanbase TRNT has grown so much & it really warms my heart to hear from readers in any capacity. but this is soooooo uplifting.

also lol sounds like you owe double thanks to mars, because i don't think i would have even CONSIDERED writing /reader fic if she hadn't encouraged me to put my Annie ideas on paper (in computer?)

i know it's a joke but i generally do post 24 hour warnings before i drop TRNT! every chapter is pretty intense and it feels like the least i can do warn people, lmaoo

#tsuki answers #anonymous #fave #trnt annie #cottagecanon #annie is the gf that's lived in my brain since i was 14 she is 🥲🥺 SO real to me