#posting publicly because this got long and I don't want to lose it oops

[ibijau]

Oh and I've just reached your post where you mention that Romeo + Juliet AU and it sounds awesome and if you ever feel like you want to elaborate on that please do

listen. LISTEN.

First of all, I DEMAND that it is a modern AU, but for unspecified reasons, everyone is still wearing the elaborate robes they have in the drama. That, or they’re all wearing stuff from their respective concerts, which is absolutely awful too. Either way, crazy fashion is the way to go.

ANyway, it’s a Lan VS Jiang/Jin setting. They had a major falling out after the mysterious death of one Wei Wuxian.

Sizhui is Romeo, raised by his father. Jingyi is Mercutio because you know NO ONE ELSE can pull off that crazy yet insightful vibe, and also i DESERVE Jingyi in drags at the ball ok

Jin Ling is Juliet, raised by Jin Guangshan Jin Guangyao (who mostly gets the lines of Lady capulet, because who better to have those awful, awful speeches about marriage). Jiang Cheng is the nurse, both loving and bullying in turn but always utterly dedicated.

Who the fuck would be Paris? Good question, I’m going for Sect Leader Yao because I fucking hate him and guess what, I hate Paris as well because he is SLIMY AND SPEAKS OPENLY ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH A 13 YO GIRL IN THE PLAY OK I HATE HIM

anyway, the LAN and Jin are in fucking OPEN WAR because some years ago, someone killed Wei Wuxian. Both sides blame each other. Heavily. Using swords.

Wei WUxian isn’t dead, he’s playing priest in the Yiling district, dealing weed to kid and making experimental drugs out of turnips. He is mildly aware of the war happening because of him, but this IS Wei Wuxian, so he misunderstands the situation and thinks they’re at war because they both wanted to be the one who killed him. So he lays low. And deals weed.

The story goes mostly the same

Wait I need a Tybalt. It’s. Uh. It’s that shitty cousin Jin Ling has? The one Wei Wuxian helps him beat up in carp tower? Unless someone has a better suggestion.

Anyway.

Story goes mostly as it would normally go.

Except JC is a lot angrier than the nurse and probably swears a ton.

Instead of poisoning himself, Jin Ling takes something to turn himself into a (fake) fierce corpse/puppet.

Bad ending: Sizhui returns, distraught at the news of his beloved’s fate. Like the good, dutiful boy he is, he eliminates the fierce corpse/puppet that Jin Ling has become (thus unkowingly ACTUALLY killing JL), then kills himself. Wei Wuxian is fucking devastated. So is everyone else. It’s awful and it’s a very bad ending and tbh I kinda love it.

Good ending: Sizhui returns, distraught at the news of his beloved’s fate, and has the fucking brain cells to steal away JL and take him to WWX, who he KNOWS is an expert in that sort of things. JL is restored to normal. LWJ, who somehow followed them, is reunited with WWX. Also Mercutio/Jingyi turns out to have survived his terrible wound after all! (but not JL’s cousin because I don’t fucking like him nor do I care enough to keep him alive)

And that’s the AU I will not write because I’m sadly kinda shit at writing anyone but nhs and lxc

oh, yeah, btw, nhs is the Prince/chief cultivator, because he is the perfect mix of absolutely useless and ruthless at the wrong time :D

#plot bunny #jau write #zhuiling #my only talent in life is coming up for AUs based on whatever's the last film I've seen #posting publicly because this got long and I don't want to lose it oops #meliegribouille