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fuckyeahgoodomens · 3 months

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The Good Omens Musical Masterpost🎵❤

How it started :)

Some time before 2013: Vicki Larnach, the australian composer and lyricist, read the Good Omens book, imagined figures dancing on stage with brilliant music and thought, ‘Ah, I’m gonna ask Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman if I can turn it into a musical.’ and sent an email to the publishers. The next day she got an email saying, ‘We don’t want a musical but Terry’s coming to Australia, so come and say hello and tell us what you got.’

Rob Wilkins came down to meet Vicki and Jim Hare - Vicki's husband and writer - and took them to meet Terry. They spent an hour and a half with them where Terry asked ‘piercing questions’, had tea with them and they showed Terry a song that Vicki wrote (about the Chattering Nuns). Terry said to Rob, ‘Rob, write and email to Neil, “Dear Neil, this is Terry. I’m sitting in front of two hippies from Sydney and they want to make a musical out of Good Omens and I’m tempted to let them do it.”’ which was the best email they ever heard and then Terry said, ‘Okay, you have me curious.’ - it was because of the Nuns song which sounded like the book. ‘I’m gonna give you six months, come back with a first draft libretto and five songs.’

They then sent it to Terry who sent it to Neil. Terry said, ‘I really like it, you’re moving story, you’re doing all the right things, but where’s showstopper, where’s the toe-tapper, you know I need people to go to intermission just snapping their fingers with the song they just can’t get out of their head, and I haven’t heard that.’ - and they realized that they were so busy serving the story they forgot to do the wow-factor, but found it very encouraging from Terry that he wanted to make it better.

They went through the whole book again to find a centrepiece - and they found it when Warlock is growing up and Aziraphale and Crowley are with him, and spent months working just on that one thing and called ‘All Living Things’ [the song at the start of this post :)] which is a line from the book.*’ Terry gave that song to a person he knew and asked him to play it to his wife with no context and when the next day the person said that his wife woke up still singing the song Terry said to Vicki and Jim: ‘Well, that’s what I asked you to do.’

* [“This here’s Brother Slug,” the gardener would tell him, “and this tiny little critter is Sister Potato Weevil. Remember, Warlock, as you walk your way through the highways and byways of life’s rich and fulsome path, to have love and reverence for all living things.” “Nanny says that wivving fings is fit onwy to be gwound under my heels, Mr. Fwancis,” said little Warlock, stroking Brother Slug, and then wiping his hand conscientiously on his Kermit the Frog overall.]

Vicki and Jim got the permission to being adapting it as a musical in 2013.

Vicki and Jim on it a couple of years ‘fumbling about’, took it as far as they could and decided to bring another person into it: Jay-James Moody

In 2015, Jay James-Moody joined the collaboration initially as a dramaturge and directorial eye, eventually evolving into co-book writer. Vicki, James and Jay have continued to evolve through countless more revisions and a number of private development readings with the support, time and talent of numerous wonderful Australian performers testing the material.

In November 2017, the musical was presented in its then-current form and entirety for the first time before an audience of over 500 eager attendees. The cast included Luke Joslin, Lachlan O’Brien, Nancye Hayes, Barry Quin, Brett O’Neill, Lauren McKenna, Nicholas Craddock, Paul Capsis, Rob Johnson, Amy Lehpamer, Debora Krizak, Blake Erickson, Nat Jobe, Ana Maria Belo, Jordan Hare, Bella Thomas, Anthony Abrakmanov and Samson Hyland.

Following a rapturous response to this reading it continued to be refined and developed.

In 2019, ten days before the show came out they did their last presentation, since then they’ve been to London and shown a videotape of that workshop to Neil and Rob which was ‘a pretty heartstopping experience’ but both Neil and Rob were ‘so lovely and very generous with their time’ and they were showing it to them and in the intermission Neil said ‘I wish Terry could have seen this.’ (see here :))

Differences between the musical and the book

The ending of the musical is a bit different, they were worried about it but Neil said, ‘I totally understand, the ending of the TV series is different, because I had something that was book-shaped and I needed to make it TV-shaped. And you had something that was book-shaped and you needed to make it stage-shaped.’

It opens with the burning of Agnes Nutter and Aziraphale and Crowley are introduced there.

Act One ends with them ‘essentially breaking up’ because of a huge argument and they dissolve their friendship, Act Two starts with the first time they meet.

The Future?

What is the future for the musical: in 2021 they said that they need to work on some things and then they hope to do another run, initially in Australia.

There will be a CD of the soundtrack available when the show is produced in it’s full version.

Videos

Vicki, Jim and Jay talking 46min about the musical (this video was shown at the Ineffable Con 3 in 2021 :))

Sizzle Reel 6min

Anathema singing The Perfect Place

Crowley calling Dagon to check on the hellhound

Shadwell and Newt

Aziraphale vanishing Hastur 👀

Links

Webpage

Instagram - a lot of more bts videos and pics :)

How to support?

Subsribe to the instagram page and like and comment that you want the musical on posts :)❤. If you want to be a sponsor or donor, there is contact on their webpage.

#good omens #good omens musical #musical #masterposts #terry pratchett #neil gaiman #fun fact #:)

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itsclydebitches · 1 month

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Hazbin Hotel: Let's Talk About Cursing!

Trigger warning for lots of cursing in this post (obviously) and discussion of canon abuse scenes

As I delve further into the Hazbin Hotel fandom, I’ve inevitably come across a variety of people who dislike the show for an equal variety of reasons. One criticism I’ve seen with some consistency is in regards to the cursing and yeah, I get it. That’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. However, the repeated claim that the cursing is only there as a—failed—attempt at bad, lazy humor got me thinking about why I personally liked the cursing, and why I think it serves a greater purpose in the show.

Now yes, some of the cursing does function as an arguably simplistic joke. The most common setup I’ve noticed is one that leans into a contrast in tone/personalities. We see this a lot with the polite, comparatively timid Charlie as she navigates her distinctly vulgar domain.

Charlie: “Hi, mister!” Demon: “Go fuck yourself!”

The entirety of “Happy Day in Hell” plays with this contrast, setting up Charlie’s slightly skewed, but significantly optimistic perspective of Hell. We are shown again and again how her lyrics are contradicted or twisted into something less innocent through the visuals: a “revealing” street where it’s “hard not to stare” has BDSM going on in a nearby window, Charlie will “open the door” for her people and then literally does so... for a guy who’s already dead. (Or, you know, temporarily out of commission until he heals, or whatever demons do when they’re ‘killed’ by things other than angelic steel.) The entire point here is to contrast the happy, skipping girl claiming that there’s a “warm, fuzzy feeling” in the air with the actual environment of unchecked fires and decaying limbs. And yes, that can be amusing. Not necessarily for everyone as humor is highly subjective and dependent on context, but distilling this contrast down to the shock of a polite greeting getting a “Go fuck yourself!” in response is a kind of entertainment. Especially when Charlie’s reaction adds another layer: for me that’s a very funny—and currently relatable—expression.

We can potentially make the case that this humor format overstays its welcome, but I personally think the show does a good job of keeping Charlie’s cursing both simple and comparatively rare, so that when she is put into these contrast situations the humor lands better. The best example I can think of in the latter half of the show is Susan. There we get the whiplash of polite, trying-to-get-these-people-to-like-her Charlie reaching a breaking point to become “FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH” Charlie. It’s a moment that builds off of the earlier surprise of the courteous Alastor calling someone an “Ornery old bitch”—while Rosie is trying (and failing) to find a nicer way to phrase this.

However, as stated above I think the cursing serves more of a purpose than to just be funny for (some) viewers. Beyond those who simply find cursing distasteful, I’ve seen a fair bit of, “This is so stupid. No one even talks like that!” going around.

Except... I do? I talk like that.

See, I like cursing. I was born to former hippie parents and grew up playing MMOs, so cursing was something I became pretty acclimated to. Personally, I’m glad I was because I’m fascinated by language and cursing—for better or worse—is an integral way that many people communicate. I was taught to see cursing not as the Bad Forbidden Thing You Must Never Ever Do, but rather as just another form of expression, something to be used in moderation and under specific circumstances. Once I became an adult I already understood how I wanted to curse and when it was appropriate to do so. People at work are often shocked when I tell them I curse a lot because no, of course I’m not doing that at my job. That isn't considered professional in this space. Among my friends though?

We can sound a lot like the Hazbin crew.

Undoubtedly the most common curse in the show is “fuck” and its variations, which very much tracks with my personal experience among other people who curse. In fact, it’s so ubiquitous that it barely counts as a curse at all in some groups. It’s more of an easy, accepted way to add emphasis. Vaggie’s “What the fuck was that?” about Alastor’s commercial is a perfect example. She’s pissed and simply saying “What was that?” doesn’t carry the same weight, no matter how angry she may sound when she says it. Vox’s long “Fuuuuuuuck” at the end of “Stayed Gone” conveys an emotion you just can’t capture any other way. No dialogue at all would create a fundamentally different experience of Vox’s feelings and another non-cursing response is just gonna hit different. Not necessarily bad, just different.

“I don’t want to go to the party!” “I don’t want to go to the freaking party!” “I don’t want to go to the fucking party!”

The above represents three distinct characters to me and I think Hazbin Hotel gets that. Cursing isn’t thrown around randomly because something something cursing supposedly sells; it’s all linguistically logical. Characters curse when something surprising or bad happens, or when something unexpectedly good happens, when they’re angry, trying to be sexy, or they want to add that emphasis. That’s a lot of different situations where cursing can be useful and when you use “fuck” in your daily life a lot you become pretty desensitized to it. As said, for many it’s barely a curse at all. Which means that when you really want to curse you’ve got to up the ante. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that the two uses of “cunt” I can recall—a word that is generally considered far worse than “fuck” and makes a lot of people understandably uncomfortable—is used by two of the worst characters in moments that are meant to horrify the viewer:

Adam: “Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts / I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months!” Valentino: “When I say you’d better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say...?”

This horror is especially emphasized in Valentino’s scene. The creators know this word is coming up and deliberately build towards it. Angel is currently being abused and has been reminded that Valentino “owns” him. The above question is a part of a trio that Valentino asks (a standard structure in writing), wherein the third option is the outlier/most shocking of the three. The animation leans into that shock, with the music building and Valentino grabbing Angel to pull him close right on the word “cunt.” Perez even puts emphasis there because he knows that this is a significant word that will change our understanding of Valentino.

Despite having hit Angel multiple times and taunting him with the contract, this is the moment Valentino stops playing the ‘nice’ employer. This is the real him. No more fake compliments and endearments aimed at Charlie, no more fake comfort/intimacy aimed at Angel. That “cunt” conveys a hell of a lot about how Valentino really sees them and when you have a cast of characters who are already cursing on the regular, it takes a word on that level to do that kind of work. If Valentino had said, “get that fucking bitch out of my studio” it wouldn’t have had nearly the same impact because he’s the kind of guy who uses "bitch" even when playing ‘nice.’

Adam’s line from “Hell is Forever” does very similar work. The scene needs a word to align with the horrific reveal that another extermination is just six months away, that conveys Adam’s deep disgust for Charlie’s people, and that still catches the viewer’s attention even though he’s the character (I believe) who curses the most. Here the music drops and Adam is a little closer to speaking than singing; there's this shift because, like with Valentino, our perception of him is shifting. This isn’t just some egotistical idiot who wants to be called “Dick Master,” he’s the leader of an army coming to gleefully kill them. Framing a whole world of people—people Charlie loves—as “cunts” while treating their murder as a holiday that can’t come soon enough creates an, 'Oh shit. This guy is actually a threat' understanding that you can’t quite get with anything else.

On a smaller scale, cursing does other character work throughout the whole show. I watched a number of cursing compilation vids for this meta (that was a trip lol) and again, cursing is not thrown in randomly. Each character has a unique way of cursing that aligns with their personality and motivations:

As said, Adam curses the most in the show which helps sell his truly over-the-top, irreverent personality. Linguistically, the amount he curses also allows for some fun grammatical play. Lines like, “Fucking love putting my name on shit, shit’s the best!” help convey the versatility of cursing.

Also as said, Charlie curses a fair bit but she’s comparatively polite and her cursing tends to be a result of genuinely big emotions—like saying “Crap” when she’s shocked and falls, or “Shit!” when Adam locks her out of the room—rather than sprinkled into her conversations as a modifier. That leaves space to create those moments of amused surprise when Charlie really let’s loose.

Sr Pentious curses even less than Charlie which fits his secretly gooey center. He talks a big game at the start of the show, but he’s actually quite bad at being, well, bad (especially the Amazon version compared to pilot!Pentious). His idea of getting one over on Alastor is ripping a bit of his coat. He loves his Egg Bois and “doesn’t want to live” without them. He has no desire to go into battle without minions/a big machine to hide behind and, of course, he’s the first to be redeemed. He's too much of a secret sweetheart to curse a lot.

Interestingly, Niffty doesn’t seem to curse at all. At least, not enough for me to think of examples off the top of my head. Right now I’m inclined to read that as an extension of her lived experiences/design—the cute 1950’s housewife archetype who is obsessed with keeping things clean doesn’t [gasp!] curse—as well as a way to maintain her legitimate creep factor. As said, cursing is common among the hotel residents and is a way for them to linguistically fit in. Niffty, however, is positioned more as an outsider (despite how much they all obviously love her): she’s actually scary in a way most demons aren’t and despite how weird this whole world is, she stands out as someone no one else can make sense of (even Alastor). If cursing is normal, Niffty is a character who is decidedly positioned as not normal.

Angel curses a fair bit, though his irreverence is conveyed more through innuendos. Angel is great at verbally twisting others’ words (especially Husk’s) to give himself a conversational advantage:

Husk: “Go fuck yourself” Angel: “Only if you watch me~”

Husk: “You’ve come—” Angel: [very loud orgasm noise] Husk: “...to the right place.”

Meanwhile, Husk uses “fuck” plenty, but he’s also one of the few characters who use “bullshit" too. I wouldn’t say there’s anything particularly revealing about that choice, but just giving him a go-to curse that’s otherwise used infrequently helps make his character distinct in a cast of other cursing characters.

Vaggie occasionally curses in Spanish, showing us her heritage if she used to be human, or a distinct knowledge/verbal preference if she’s always been an angel.

Heaven, as the ‘good’ side, doesn’t curse as a general rule, which leaves room for cursing to do more of that silent character work. We’re reminded of the stuffy, overly critical beings she’s dealing with when Charlie receives the combined judgement of the court for saying, “Fuck yeah!” In contrast, we understand just how shocked St. Peter is to see a Morningstar when he lets out an unintentional “Fuck!” The angry vindication of Charlie’s “That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!” lands harder after multiple scenes of very little cursing, and Lute’s “Some crack-whore who fucked up already? / He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth—” helps set her apart as an exorcist + Adam's second in command: her shocking violence comes through in her word choice too; words that supposedly don't belong in Heaven.

In what’s arguably the funniest line in the whole show, Lucifer undermines his dramatic standoff with Adam by going, “You mess with my daughter and now I’m going to fuck you.” Beyond just cutting the tension, that fits his bumbling, oblivious personality perfectly. Lucifer is crazy powerful and can absolutely wreck Adam. He also has none of the classy intimidation that, say, Alastor displays when he tries to convey that. This is a depressed himbo who makes ducks in his free time and settles on, “Hey, bitch!” when greeting his estranged daughter. Of course he’s going to accidentally turn a threat into a promise of sex.

Which finally brings me to Alastor, someone whose cursing is already understood well by the fandom. He’s characterized as manipulatively courteous, using manners to both hide his true nature and draw attention to his power—’You’re so beneath me I’ll just calmly sip my coffee and politely ask who you are, despite the fact that we've fought multiple times.’ This is a guy who calls people “My dear” and unironically insults them with the phrase “wacky nonsense.” So when he curses you can BET it’s gonna have an impact. It sure did for me. I had to pause the episode after Alastor’s first “Fuck you” because it was so shocking to hear that language from him. And that’s the point! The scene wants that reaction from the audience. The "Fuck you"s visceral anger contrasting the fake laughs he and Lucifer have been giving, the quick-fire exchange that’s suddenly cut short by Alastor’s choice of a direct insult, the fact that he’s officially dropping the polite veneer they’ve both been indulging in and raising the stakes before Charlie intervenes, the loss of the radio filter that otherwise demonstrates his control over a situation... all of it screams, ‘THIS IS AN IMPORTANT CHARACTER MOMENT.’

"Fuck you” reveals that, for the first time in the show, Alastor is legitimately threatened by someone. Which makes sense given that, you know, Lucifer is the King of Hell. Cursing for Alastor isn’t normal, so when he does curse it’s going to reveal something about a guy who otherwise is obsessed with being unknowable. Having the King of Hell dismiss him is actually infuriating in a way Sir Pentious’ threats could never be and the exchange kicks off a rivalry that rattles Alastor in ways Vox’s never has. (Side note: is it any wonder people ship them? Character A making control freak Character B feel vulnerable is classic!) It’s no surprise to me than that the one other true curse we get from Alastor is, “I’m about to end your fucking life,” delivered to Adam who, like Lucifer, poses a legitimate threat and does end up beating him. I say “true” curse because calling Susan a “bitch” does similar work for him, but the takeaway is humorous rather than dramatic. It’s funny that the only people who can piss Alastor off enough to curse are the First Man/a powerful exorcist angel threatening his life, the literal King of Hell... and Susan.

So there’s a lot going on here, more than what many viewers might assume if they approach the show as just “stupid,” needlessly vulgar entertainment. As shown above, I don’t think the cursing is needless, especially given that, well... they’re in Hell. They’re sinners, supposedly the worst that humanity has to offer, so of course they're going to curse a lot. Does cursing mean you’re a bad person? No. Can you craft a hellish world that doesn't rely on cursing to convey a group's immoral nature? Sure.

Does it make sense that a writer would equate a sinful, irreverent cast with linguistic rebellion and would want to convey a certain vibe that, frankly, you just can’t get without dropping an F bomb?

Yeah, I think so. No one has to like that kind of creative decision, but it’s worth acknowledging it as a deliberate choice.

That’s all! Thanks for reading this fucking long post ✌️

#Hazbin Hotel #Hazbin Hotel meta #mymetas #tw cursing #cw cursing #tw abuse #cw abuse

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saturnbellfromhell · 1 year

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DRESSING LIKE YOUR RISING SIGN

I'm taking a minor break till next week writing "The Energry Series", since I want to perfect it, seek more knowledge, do better all in all! So today I'm writing a gitty and playful post.

Rising signs are important to the extent that they rule over our outer appearance and how we come across to the world around us. They are the sign showing up first on the eastern horizon the moment we are taking our first breath. Most of the time it is described as the "mask" or "shell" we put on for the world, but I think the energy of your rising sign cannot be a changeable nor is it a mask. It's a natural stance you take on while heading out the door. The second point in the " Big Three" in astrology. Also the planet ruling your rising sign is the main ruler of your chart. Meaning if you are for example a Pisces, the ruler Neptune will be prominent in molding your appearance. Also called the Ascenendant (AC), meaning "rising in power/influence".

So let's get started!

🔳 ARIES RISING

We start of with our energetic baby Aries. These girls win over the color red, that's for sure. Even though I can see Aries rising in a short skirt with a crop top and a ponytail, they also look amazing in street style/baggy clothes in my opinion. For the makeup I see a simple false lash, rosy cheeks and some fake freckles. Cute with a bit of sass!

🔳 TAURUS RISING

My beautiful Venusian girls, who just look right with wavy hair drenched in the smell of argan oil and patchouli perfume on their wrists.These girls in my opinion look right in any boho, hippy, loose clothes. They also can make any long non fitting dress look amazing. For the makeup I would keep it very neutral, with grounding colors and a soft lip color. Also for some reason white looks amazing on them aswell, so angelic looking.

🔳 GEMINI RISING

Oh my, o my here come the funky babes of the group! Gemini risings are known to be a slimmer frame, so I would suggest to play with silhouettes. You can always count on a Gemini to brighten up your day, because of this not only does a bright personality suit them but bright colors and crazy patterns also! They look amazing in anything that stands out. I also se our Gemini rising girlies with some sort of facial piercing, a septum maybe? Or a cute navel piercing, sounds good to me to be honest. For the makeup I can see any dramatic looking eyeliner, eyeshadow or lip...Anything experimental for that matter

🔳 CANCER RISING

Here come the mini Venuses with their stunning eyes and round face. They also look so good to me with their hair in some sort of updo, messy with clips. Their body is know to be also rounded, with a prominent chest and hips. Cancerian girls look good in anything delicate and soft, the risqué look isn't really for them. For jewelry I can see them wearing dainty silver rings or a shiny necklace. I mean pearls are their best friend being the sign connected to the sea and ocean. Think of the mermaid look, fresh, young and mysterious. I also don't know why but Cancers suit coconut scented anything on their skin...again going with the beach theme.

🔳 LEO RISING

Leo's are just the moment, we have all agree on8 that. With their athletic frame and crazy hair I can see why they get the attention. They look amazing in any colors. I would say royal purple, pink, red and gold are my top picks. They look amazing in anything that's dramatic, skin tight or just plain sporty. I can also see them wearing very classy perfume like the Chanel 5.

🔳 VIRGO RISING

I absolutely adore my Virgo risings, they can step out in a button down and some jeans and just look so put together. They are the queens of the minimalistic look. In my opinion greens, greys, soft browns and muted colors look great on them. Jewelry wise maybe some stud earrings and a tiny pendant necklace? The fragrance I see when I think of a Virgo rising is the Armani Aqua de Gio. Think Bella Hadid, she is the opitime of the Virgo rising. Chic but so simple.

🔳 LIBRA RISING

Their don't need a lot, and they absolutely know it. Being the second Venusian babe in our signs they imbody the extravagant look. Think anything trendy, but they also look good in anything classy. I can see a Libra rising with a white corset and puffy skirt, filled with jewelry around her hands and neck smelling of lavender and lemon. Red lipstick and a little bit of mascara. Hair in some sort of braids and big sunglasses! Also I can see them in long sleek dresses making everybody fall in love with them!

🔳 SCORPIO RISINGS

O Morticia Addams, the goth queens and killer looks girlies. The color black is their best friend, but also dark blues, grays, browns, greens. Silver, only silver for the jewelry. They look really good in tight long dresses, leather pants or skirts and platform shoes are a must! They really embody the the dark princess look to me. They are gracefully creepy and I mean that in the nicest way ever!

🔳 SAGITTARIUS RISING

Sag girlies are the girls how can pull of a lot. On their it days they look amazing in bright colors, high heels, any type of skirt or dress. On their off days they best suite the lazy athletic type. With a matching gym set and some cute uggs they rock the city streets. The perfume I see them in is anything with a little bit of spice, that has pepper undertones and are on the "stronger" side, the Versace "Eros" for example.

🔳 CAPRICORN RISING

My beautiful Caps with their high cheekbones and piercing eyes. They are the classic rising. For some reason Caps always look serious and put together, even when not trying. They love dark colors and maybe a statement piece. Like a ruby ring or extravagant necklace piece. White button downs, skinny jeans, knee length skirts, black corsets and lace anything. Also a suit really is your best friend.

🔳 AQUARIUS RISING

These girlies are the trend setters of the zodiac, everybody loves how creative Aqurius risings are. They love to look put together just like their sister Capricorn but when it comes to spicing up they are the queens for that. I think they look cool in metalics too. Their hair looks good sleek backed or maybe some fun pixie cut? Bangs also, not gonna lie. They also need some fruity perfume to add to the look.

🔳 PISCES RISING

Lastly my etheral babes, with their glossy big eyes and tiny frame they look stunning in anything made out of silk. They also look good in airy dresses and skirts. Also a small winged eyeliner with some white dots to to make their eyes pop. For some weird reason Pisces rising are made for white dresses and clipped back hair.

Xoxo

#capricorn rising #pisces rising #aries rising #ascendente #rising sign #aquarius rising #scorpio rising #taurus rising #gemini rising #sagittarius rising #leo rising #libra rising #virgo rising #cancer rising #astrology observations #astro world #zodiac

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ed-recovery-affirmations · 2 months

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I just made myself a cup of a new tea, one from a set that a friend sent me. I was super curious to try it with and without milk in it, so after I take a sip without, I'm going to add milk to my tea.

That may seem like such an inane little story to post on a blog, unless you have an eating disorder. I'm sure many of you know what a big deal milk in tea can be, and what an important act of self-love it is.

It was poured into many of our ears, approaching teenhood in the mid-2000's, not to "drink our calories." For those of us whose restriction was weight-based, many of us practiced filling ourselves with water, with our coffee black and unsweetened whether that was how we liked it or not, and with tea that never contained milk.

Like many people who've struggled with binge eating and with restriction, I struggle with creating anxiety-inducing rules about when is okay to eat, especially if I'm between meals and worrying if I should allow myself a snack, or if it's okay to quench my thirst with anything other than water. This is especially true between meals. For some reason my brain has accepted the "extra" caloric intake as part of a meal, but still balks at the idea of introducing these things independently into non-meal parts of the day. I would like to note that my chronic illness and my body's reaction to food has also influenced this weird relationship between me and my favorite treats, such as a piece of candy, or a beverage that might happen to contain a greater-than-zero calorie count.

But tonight, before bed, I want to try this tea. And it sounds like one that'd be super tasty with milk, as it has cocoa powder and vanilla in the blend. So I let my tea cool in the room with me as I type this, telling myself that I can get up and go back for milk after I taste it.

Now I have gone to the kitchen.

Now I have poured in a splash of milk and tasted. It's soy milk, as regular milk sometimes hurts my stomach and I don't want my sleep to be disrupted. Due to my chronic illness, this is still something I have to think about, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Things like this make it so hard to tell myself I can let go of my food fears, because my brain knows that some of my food fears will turn out to have validity, and so what if they all do?

Now I have poured in another splash. Tasted.

Now I have poured in a third, much larger splash. Tasted.

Oh, this is it. This tea tastes like a warm dessert. But now it's too cool, so I need to microwave it back to its best heat. I used to not want to microwave my food. As a teen I heard a hippie say that microwaves destroy the nutrients in your food because the radiation breaks down their molecular structure. This is absolutely false. In fact, it's been disproven that microwaves break down nutrients any more than other methods of heating food, but for a long time I believed it. And even after I learned the truth, I still found it hard to convince myself it was okay to use microwaves for a very long time.

I have just finished my tea in my room. I took the time to identify that I wanted it. I took the time to truly taste it in several different ways, consider how I felt I wanted it and bring it to those specifications. It wasn't planned for any specific time or day, but I agreed to give myself this the way I wanted it anyway. I've been drinking my coffee with milk every morning, too. I actually like black coffee, but I like it better with milk. And I give myself things throughout the day that I enjoy, to enhance my experience of my existence. Life is hard, and it's okay to allow yourself, to the fullest extent you can, the small joys that bring you through the day.

I wanted to share this with you. I hope you don't feel the crushing weight of morality when staring at a bottle of regular soda and the sugar-free, when you wake up with your morning coffee, when your self-care regimen includes a cup of tea. I hope you practice actively giving yourself the love you need this week. And I hope you give it to yourself exactly the way you need it.

#recovery diaries #ed recovery #restriction recovery #self care #food cw #long post

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misc-obeyme · 2 months

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OBEY ME ZODIAC SIGNS

I mentioned in this post that I had opinions about this & @impish-ivy left a tag saying she’d like to know my thoughts on it. And as we all know, a single tag is all it takes! So here I am!

Lemme start by giving you my qualifications… I have none. Unless you count growing up with a hippie for a mom who was really into the zodiac & astrology so I spent all my life hearing about it. And I mean she’d read books to me on the topic. She also taught me quite a bit about the tarot and I could get into some symbolism there, too, but let's save that for a different post. (Not me assigning each character a card from the Major Arcana.)

Nowadays I mostly use it to help me remember the birthdays I choose for my OCs lol. It's fun to think about for character creation. But in the end, this is all just my opinion based on what I know of the zodiac! It's all just for fun~

For quick reference, I am going to list the zodiac signs, their symbols, their associated element, and their date ranges.

Aries | The Ram | Fire | March 21 - April 19

Taurus | The Bull | Earth | April 20 - May 20

Gemini | The Twins | Air | May 21 - June 20

Cancer | The Crab | Water | June 21 - July 22

Leo | The Lion | Fire | July 23 - August 22

Virgo | The Virgin | Earth | August 23 - September 22

Libra | The Scales | Air | September 23 - October 22

Scorpio | The Scorpion | Water | October 23 - November 21

Sagittarius | The Archer | Fire | November 22 - December 21

Capricorn | The Goat | Earth | December 22 - January 19

Aquarius | The Water Bearer | Air | January 20 - February 18

Pisces | The Fish | Water | February 19 - March 20

Please Note: I do take the cusp into consideration. When someone is born on the cusp, it means they were born on a day that is on the cusp of two signs. For example, someone born on April 19 would be considered on the cusp of Aries and Taurus. This means they can have some traits of the sign they're on the cusp of. I think of it as a date range. So in the above example, I would consider April 17 - April 22 the cusp range of Aries and Taurus. The Aries traits would be stronger on the Aries side and the Taurus traits are strong on the Taurus side. I will sometimes refer to this as being a "cuspie" because lol it's cute, right?

Okay let’s get into it because I can tell they did not consider the characters' astrological signs at all when they chose their birthdays.

LUCIFER: JUNE 6 - GEMINI

Now obviously his birthday was meant to be a reference to 666. Since it's 6/6 and all. But that cute little reference also makes him a Gemini. A GEMINI. (Hi hello, actual Gemini here, there is just no way.) Gemini is an air sign that's known for being good at communication, artistic, flighty, and easily bored. Does any of that sound like Lucifer to you? There is no way a Gemini would ever be caught dead at a factory tour, okay? (I would, but I'm also a cuspie so I got just enough Taurus in me to be interested in a factory tour lol.)

I say he should have been a Cancer. Now before you come at me and say what Lucifer as a weepy Cancer you can't be serious, don't you mean he should've been a prideful Leo? No. Because Leos also like being the center of attention. If Lucifer was a Leo, he would absolutely thrive on Diavolo's constant compliments. Lucifer is a crab and we all know it! Hard exterior, putting on that prideful and competent persona, but soft and squishy inside. Only weepy in private, but secretly longs to weep. LOL. Also? Intense mood swings because of overwhelming feelings. And also also? Family obsessed. Will kill for those they love.

MAMMON: SEPTEMBER 10 - VIRGO

As hilarious as it is to consider that Mammon is the Virgin, there is no way. Mammon as an earth sign at all is silly enough, but add in the fact that Virgos are practical and perfectionists and I'm just like… not this guy lol. I think Virgos can also be a bit shy at first too. And like you could say Mammon acts like he doesn't like you at first because he's secretly shy, but I think it's more about damaging his cool guy rep.

No, I think Mammon should've been a Gemini. Flighty air sign. Easily bored. But with a wild imagination that can come up with, you guessed it, schemes. In his case money making schemes. They also like to be aware of the trends, always looking at the new shiny things. Geminis are smart, but not always good at applying their smarts. The other thing about Geminis? They're deeply emotionally intelligent, but you can't always tell right away. This is why they're kinda known for the whole "two faced" thing (which is not really accurate tbh). They have a light and airy and fun personality on top, but underneath they can be serious and understand the needs of others. And once you befriend them, they are ride or die.

LEVIATHAN: APRIL 9 - ARIES

Absolutely not. An Aries is a bold fire sign, they're courageous, assertive, and a natural leader. That is like the exact opposite of Levi.

I honestly had a difficult time deciding what I think Levi's sign should be. But in the end, I settled on Virgo. Mostly because Virgos can be neurotic and end up worrying themselves into disorder and that sounds more like Levi than anything else. I also think the practicality and perfection can apply when considering how carefully Levi pursues his hobbies. He's always on top of when things are happening, displays his merch meticulously, and cares about all the little details.

SATAN: OCTOBER 20 - LIBRA

Uhhh sooooo I mean…. listen, the main thing about Libras, in my opinion, is that they are super friendly. They like having a large group of friends. And like Satan has connections, but I'm not sure if that's really the same thing. He's been known to isolate himself for days just to read without stopping. Like that does not seem like the social butterfly type to me. He's also a cuspie, so there could be elements of Scorpio mucking up those Libra sensibilities. But I still don't really think that makes a lot of sense.

I'm kinda feeling Capricorn for Satan. Someone who cares about rules and regulations. Someone who's willing to help family and friends at the drop of a hat. Ambitious and successful and willing to put in the work, including in relationships. Even better if you give him December 23 or 24, so he's juuuuust on the cusp of Sagittarius. Thus giving him the Sag's pursuit of knowledge quality and a lil dash of childlike wonder ('cause of how he is with cats lol).

ASMODEUS: MAY 16 - TAURUS

Truly an affront to all things astrological. Do you really expect me to believe that Asmo is a Bull? Please. Like yeah, a Taurus can be passionate, but they're also stubborn and stable and kiiinda set in their ways. And yo that ain't Asmo, friends.

Asmo should've been a Leo. The type of person who turns heads just by existing. They're unapologetically themselves and they know how enticing they are to others. A bright, bold, fire sign that'll blaze into a room, full of confidence and ready to start the party. Can be a little too into themselves, but they're also full of generosity and a warmth that attracts people. I would also have been okay with Libra, but I think Leo is more accurate.

BEELZEBUB & BELPHEGOR: MARCH 11 - PISCES

This one fits. Beel really is a Pisces. Emotional, caring, highly family oriented. Maybe a little weepy. Pisces is a good choice for the twins. Not only do you have the dual fish as their symbol, but I think Belphie is what you get when a sweet Pisces suffers from intense trauma. Zodiac signs only really take into consideration general characteristics. People change how they act from life experience, too, and no amount of being born under the fish is going to change that for Belphie. Inside, he's got that caring and emotional state that Beel wears on his sleeve. Belphie just had to build armor around it because that's how he has reacted to being hurt. So I actually think this sign works for both of them.

DIAVOLO: OCTOBER 31 - SCORPIO

Well, he's got the passion anyway. I dunno I feel like Scorpios are also overly dramatic, tend to hold grudges, and kinda do whatever they want. Like they give in to their emotions a lot. Diavolo just doesn't feel like a Scorpio to me. Maybe if he was a little more devious than he is.

I think Diavolo should have been an Aries. The fire symbolism is nice and the fact that it's a ram is also funny (MC being a sheep right), but straight up an Aries is a good leader, they're courageous and adventurous. They love new experiences, kinda like Dia being obsessed with human world stuff he's never experienced before. They rush into things sometimes - anyone remember a baby!Dia trapping Barbatos? This is like he gets an idea in his head and he's like that's the best solution! But it isn't always and I kinda think Barb's influence has mellowed that out over the years. So yeah, Aries for this guy. Though I would have accepted Leo, too, I just don't think Diavolo is as self-obsessed as a Leo usually is.

BARBATOS: AUGUST 22 - LEO

You know, in true CC fashion, I really spent a lot of time considering what would make the most sense for Barbatos. My initial reaction to him being a Leo was no fucking way. Leos like attention too much and we all know Barb is a lurker. However, he's also on the cusp with Virgo. And I kinda think that Virgo's practicality mixed with Leo's charisma could equal out to one Barbatos. Virgos are known for being proficient and efficient and always getting the job done right. They're also known for wanting to be of service to others. Leos, on the other hand, are magnetic and generous. However, they're also really flashy and tend to be hung up on what others think of them and that's not Barb at all.

So while I think the Virgo/Leo cusp could work, they'd need to put him on the other side of it. More Virgo less Leo. Like maybe August 25. That being said, I also initially gave Barb the sign of Capricorn. If I wasn't going with a cusp situation, this is what I'd choose. It's the restraint and meticulousness. Capricorns can be taskmasters, especially when it comes to themselves. In a human this leads to burnout. Since Barbatos is a demon he seems to be able to work hard all day every day and still be okay, but he's not exactly good at resting. A Capricorn is also someone other people come to for advice because they're known for being good at everything they do.

SIMEON: FEBRUARY 10 - AQUARIUS

Aquarius is a weird sign. Like no offense to Aquarians but the symbol here is literally called the Water Bearer and yet it's an air sign? What does it mean? It means that this sign is full of super unique individuals. And yeah okay Simeon is pretty unique. I'm not like there's absolutely no way. But I do think there's a better sign for him.

Should've been a Cancer. Yes, like Lucifer. Think about it: emotional, caring, family oriented, but where Lucifer has the armored crab shell, Simeon has learned to allow some of his soft squishy to show. Both can be very mothering, they just show it in different ways. Trust me on this. HOWEVER. I actually think Simeon should have been a cuspie. Like me, but on the other side. So on the cusp of Cancer and Gemini. Mostly mothering and emotional Cancer, but with the creativity and airiness of Gemini. You know what Geminis are good at? Writing. So I think Simeon has traits from both Cancer and Gemini and would be best on the cusp. (Give him June 21.)

SOLOMON: DECEMBER 9 - SAGITTARIUS

They got this one right. Solomon is absolutely a Sagittarius. The symbol of this sign is the Archer - a centaur with an extended bow. It represents the duality of a Sagittarian's personality. An old soul with childlike wonder. Able to get excited about new things, but also full of experience and wisdom. If that's not Solomon, I don't know what is. Someone who likes to be free, enjoys exploring the unknown, is dedicated to learning but also to teaching - yeah, this one is accurate.

LUKE: JULY 15 - CANCER

Due to the fact that Luke is supposed to be a child, it's important to consider how his sign manifests in someone younger. It can be different from how an adult would be described, but the general idea is usually still the same. I kinda think Luke could in fact be a Cancer. He cares a lot about his friends and family, he's dedicated to them in a way that causes him to defend them at any perceived insult. He can be emotional, but that's also kinda just… he's a kid, you know?

And I think Luke is a Libra. He cares about everybody as mentioned, but he also likes when people get along. If we looked at who he is when he's not worrying about a demon's questionable influence, such as how he is with MC, he's thoughtful and kind, friendly. See how he is with Barbatos and Simeon. He likes learning from them and spending time with them and I think that's the sort of social butterfly Libra quality. I see Luke growing up into someone who has a lot of friends, but also likes to keep things balanced as evidenced by the Libra scales.

MEPHISTOPHELES: NOVEMBER 11 - SCORPIO

It's kinda funny that Mephisto and Diavolo have the same zodiac sign. But it also doesn't mean anything, I just find it humorous. However, Mephisto could actually be a Scorpio, more so than Diavolo, in my opinion. We have seen mostly the negative traits of a Scorpio displayed in Mephisto - jealously, the tendency to hold a grudge, possessive and resentful. But a Scorpio can also be passionate and fearless and perceptive. Mephisto has the grudge thing going on with Lucifer. And he's a little closed off to MC at first. But his perception allows him to consider how MC feels and thus makes it easier for him to understand them. Not to mention how dedicated he becomes once he is friends with someone. While I think there are probably other signs that would work for him too, I don't have a problem with him being a Scorpio.

RAPHAEL: SEPTEMBER 29 - LIBRA

What. There is no way. NO. WAY. I refuse to accept Raphael as a Libra, I'm sorry. It's just not possible.

So what is he, then? A Taurus. The Bull. Quiet, stubborn, no nonsense. Patient, well grounded, likes to feel secure, determined. While a human Taurean would be interested in establishing their career, Raphael had a different goal due to being an angel. But I think we can equate the climb to the top, becoming the youngest angel ever to be a seraph, as obtaining financial stability. It's stability, but in a different way. Secured by the rank rather than the monetary value. Only investing time in what they believe is worth the effort, but once decided they become loyal to a fault. Good at standing up for their principles, but less likely to mess with things that threaten their stability. There might be others he could be, but this one feels right to me.

THIRTEEN: JANUARY 13 - CAPRICORN

Seeing as how I made Satan and Barbatos Capricorns, I don't really feel like Thirteen fits this sign all that well. She's not restrained at all and I don't think she's overly ambitious, either. Not a taskmaster for herself or anyone else.

Thirteen is an Aquarius. A rebel, someone who sets trends, someone who doesn't care about rules. Thirteen is a reaper who wears a school uniform that she completely modified because she likes it and she never even had any intention of attending said school. You gonna try to tell me that person isn't a rebel? Unique, quirky, and independent. That is so totally Thirteen. They also tend to fight for the collective good and while I haven't exactly seen Thirteen joining protests or anything, I don't know that I would discount this quality entirely. She's just definitely leaning more toward the quirky unique part as well as innovation (thinking up different traps for instance).

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

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kuiperoid · 15 days

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Dark Grey Matter: Neurodivergence and the Goth Experience

[originally posted here]

Alternative subcultures have existed for nearly as long as human society. Modern examples include the flappers of the 1920s, the beatniks of the 1950s, and the hippies of the 1960s. These alternative subcultures have been defined by music, literature, fashion, and film. For those outside of these subcultures, it may be unclear what would make one wish to exist in a group that is not part of the norm. While there are many factors for each individual, it is clear that neurodivergence plays at least part of a role for many people. For the case study, I will be using the goth scene, being a member myself and because it is both newer and longer lasting than some of the others, being what to subcultures as water is to liquids, if you may. There have already been analyses of specific post-punk musicians and their neurodivergent diagnoses - Gary Numan and David Byrne being autistic, Danny Elfman with his ADHD/OCD combo, and Blixa Bargeld being synesthesic, not to mention speculation about countless others. This is not one of those. The musicians are important, but this is more about the members of the subculture as a whole, whether they produce music or not. This is also not to say that every goth or person in any given alternative subculture is neurodivergent or that every neurodivergent person is involved in an alternative subculture, just an observation on the overlap between the two.

To start us off, let us focus on what is typically seen as central to the goth subculture: the music. There are currently a myriad of subgenres of goth music: darkwave, deathrock, gothic rock, and ethereal wave, among others. It is sometimes difficult to define goth music as a whole, especially with bands that bleed into non-goth specific post-punk genres, such as shoegaze or industrial and with different terminology being more popular in different regions and eras. A rough definition for all of these subgenres would be a variety of alternative rock music with origins in punk (though some have influence that includes glam rock, synthpop, and even Caribbean-British dub reggae) that typically values minor chords, a heavy bassline that dictates the melody, slower rhythms, mezzo vocals, and artful, often dark lyrics. Why would this genre appeal to neurodivergent people specifically? The initial appeal is the sound. A common comorbidity with autism, ADHD, and other variations of neurodivergence is Auditory Processing Disorder or other differences in sound processing. Those thusly impacted may respond to verbal cues more slowly, be irritated by certain sounds more easily than others, and mishear words more frequently. There are numerous hypotheses to address differences in musical taste and likely multiple contributing factors and differences in audio processing may be one of those factors. While not every instance of APD is exactly the same, it is easy to see how a music genre that focuses on deeper pitches, more pronounced vocal styles, and slower rhythms would aurally appeal to individuals who experience auditory processing differences.

Aside from the way that the music sounds, there is also great appeal in the lyrical content. Certainly, goth bands touch on a variety of topics, from the historical monologues on the World Wars by Joy Division and the Pagan rites of Inkubus Sukkubus to the scathing diatribes of 1980s conservative politics by Sisters of Mercy and the sexual escapades explored by London After Midnight, just to name a few. Across the diverse set of subjects that these bands cover, there is a consistent return to one recurring theme: being an outsider observing an imperfect world. The experience of feeling like an outsider is certainly one that many neurodivergent individuals can relate to. Many neurodivergent individuals are made to feel like outsiders from a young age, often bullied by their peers for their communication styles and told by family members to behave differently, traits they have difficulty controlling. With differences in communication and internalizing the world, it is difficult to make sense of supposed social rules and forge connections. When one has similar requirements to exist happily as others but difficulty obtaining them due to reasons outside of one’s control, it is easy to recognize the world as a flawed place full of inequality and rewards for shallow traits. There is hope for those whose auditory processing differences do not manifest in alternative music, at least not exclusively. Fortunately for youth of today who still feel like outsiders, be it due to neurodivergence or anything else, but still have more mainstream aural preferences, modern pop artists are less afraid of embracing oddity and touching on feelings of isolation. Some may even serve as bridges for those with a taste for multiple genres as some pop artists have expressed an appreciation for goth artists. One now-former member of One Direction previously cited Joy Division’s Unknown Pleasures as a primary music inspiration, Dua Lipa did a photoshoot that made an homage to Siouxsie Sioux, and Billie Eilish has been seen performing in an Alien Sex Fiend shirt.

Of tertiary importance to the scene compared to music but more obvious to those not involved in the scene is fashion and makeup. The way that neurodivergent people often do not internalize social norms, current trends are often similarly not internalized, so dressing according to any sort of trend is not even considered. That being said, clothes are not necessarily chosen at random either. Something of utmost importance to many neurodivergent individuals when choosing clothes, as with many of their neurotypical counterparts, is comfort. This sometimes manifests in more obvious physical ways, such as removing tags or avoiding certain fabrics. It is easy to see how a scene that values DIY aesthetics would appeal to those with sensory differences; no one can fault one for cutting off a tag when the entire outfit is cut up and put back together with safety pins. However, there are also ways to achieve psychological comfort. Case in point, Blixa Bargeld, founding member of German industrial band Einstürzende Neubauten and arguably founder of the industrial music genre as well as former guitarist of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, has attributed his preference for wearing all black to to his synesthesia and finding other colors to be too overwhelming. Many black-wearers have made similar statements, with or without a diagnosis of synesthesia or something similar. Neurodivergent people also often find comfort in wearing clothing related to one’s special interest, so band shirts are a common staple, along with outfits that homage musicians, movie characters, or others they admire. There is also the issue of expression. Neurotypical people often have difficulty reading the emotions of their neurodivergent peers due to differences in emotional expression. Clothing and makeup, in addition to highlighting one’s general interests, can also help in making emotional expression more obvious to others. Of later importance, many neurodivergent individuals find that dressing in a way that labels them as a person with certain interests, this can help them attract others of similar interests. Given that many neurodivergent people have difficulty making friends and initiating social interactions, having an easy way to call to others that they are like them is socially beneficial.

In conclusion, it is clear why there is a connection between these two. Alternative subcultures are a welcoming environment for many who feel like outsiders are neurodivergent individuals are often made into outsiders by default. In addition, the sounds and sights of goth specifically appeal to many of those with specific sensory differences. With such a long, rich history that continues to this day, this subculture is fit to be quite a rewarding special interest.

#gothgoth #neurodivergence #autism #goth #gothtistic

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rottenpumpkin13 · 6 months

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It is Halloween soon! Zack throws a Halloween party on the 49th floor (can be big, can be small, however you'd like to write it) and has decided to use an ouija board. What chaos breaks out?

(Also i was bday anon, thank you so much, your posts are life 💞)

Zack's Halloween Party

• To cease the arguments over who gets to host the annual SOLDIER halloween party, Director Lazard comes up with an idea.

• He writes down each of his SOLDIERs' names on small slips of paper and places them in a huge bowl, then summons them all to an impromptu meeting.

Lazard: Whoever's name I pull out will be the designated party organizer. Does that sound fair?

Zack: YES! I WON! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO THROW A HALLOWEEN PARTY!

Lazard: No, Zack. I mean, does my selection process sound just?

• A chorus of agreements echo throughout the room.

Lazard: Good. And the winner is *he sticks his hand in the bowl, pulls out a name, then sighs* Fair.

Zack: Yes, Director! We agreed that it's a fair process!

Lazard: No. Zack Fair, you won.

Zack: YEEEESSSSSSS!!

• A chorus of no's and groans sweep the room.

Zack: Don't worry, guys! I'll do my very best! You'll see! This is gonna be the best Halloween party ever. *he interlocks his fingers evilly* and I have just the tool to make it fun...

• The day of the Halloween party arrives. To everyone's surprise, the party's rather ordinary. There's good music playing, Halloween decorations everywhere, flashing lights, fog and candy bowls stationed everywhere.

• Sephiroth, Genesis and Angeal step off the elevator. Sephiroth is dressed like a grim reaper with Masamune fashioned as a scythe, Angeal is a zombie, and Genesis is a queen? king of hearts.

Angeal: Huh. Look at that. No one who knows Zack personally would've ever guessed he would be responsible enough to pull this off.

• Angeal snatches a candy bowl from Sephiroth's hands.

Genesis: I know, right? It almost makes you feel bad for underestimating him.

• Kunsel (dressed like robocop) and Roche (hippie) walk by carrying Skelesis Bonesodos.

Kunsel: Where are we hanging Skelesis?

Roche: Zack told us to hang him by the dancefloor.

Genesis: Son of a bitch.

• Angeal fails to notice Sephiroth nick an entire platter of spaghetti and meatball eyes from a passing server.

• Zack (dressed like a pirate) comes bouncing up to them

Zack: Arrg! Hey, guys! Sweet party, huh?

Angeal: Yeah, actually. I'm impressed. It's just a regular party without any crazy additives.

• Zack pulls out a Ouija board.

Zack: Or so you thought!

Genesis & Angeal: ZACK, NO.

Zack: Zack yes!

• Genesis snatches the ouija board away from him.

Genesis: I refuse to compliantly sit here and watch you damn us all by bothering the spirit realm. You have no idea how dangerous it is!

Angeal: Are you serious? Ghosts aren't real.

Zack & Genesis: Yes they are.

Angeal: No, they're not. And I'm not letting you mess around with anything paranormal. I don't want a repeat of last time.

• Collective flashback to the time Zack purchased an EVP recorder and refused to shower for a week because the ghost insinuated that it'd possess him in the bathroom.

Zack: Oh, please! That was ages ago. Besides, how cool would it be to have a real entity at my party!?

Genesis, sarcastically: So cool! One minute you're doing the Monster Mash and the next we're calling a priest!

Zack: I'm not gonna get possessed!

Angeal: You're not gonna summon anything! Ghosts and demons aren't real! Right, Sephiroth?

• Everyone turns to see Sephiroth working his way through another bowl of candy.

Angeal: Give me THAT!

Sephiroth, chewing: Honestly, it wouldn't hurt to try to use the ouija board.

Zack: Ha-ha! You rock, Seph! I knew you'd be on my side.

• Zack and Sephiroth high five.

Genesis: I give up. Summon the demon, damn us all to lifetime of paranormal prosecution. What do I care? It's not like anyone listens to me any—*he looks across the room*—HEY! KUNSEL! STOP PLAYING CATCH WITH SKELESIS BONESODOS! YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK HIS HIP!

• Zack leads the four of them to a vacant office room. They sit down in a circle on the floor and sets up the Ouija board in the middle of them.

Angeal: This is the stupidest thing I've ever done.

Sephiroth: Don't say that. I would argue that purchasing that questionable, over-priced plant from that man in the slums that turned out to be plastic was the stupidest thing you've ever done.

• They all place their fingers on the planchette and slide it around three times.

Genesis: We're going to die.

Zack: Shhh! Oh great spirits that reside in the Shinra HQ! Make yourselves known...please—pretty please? I really want a party ghost!

Sephiroth: Do you gentlemen think a person's soul can become trapped within the sword that kills them? I often hear Masamune whisper to me in the middle of the night.

Angeal: And you mention that NOW?

Genesis: Ho-ho! I thought you didn't believe in ghosts!

Angeal: I don't. I believe in Sephiroth inevitably succumbing to psychosis due to years of trauma.

Zack: Guys! Shhh! You're gonna distract the—

*The planchette moves on its own*

*Everyone screams*

Angeal: WHO DID THAT? WHICH ONE OF YOU MOVED IT?

Genesis: IT WASN'T ME!

Zack: IT WAS THE GHOST!

Sephiroth: Fascinating. Zack's Ouija board has proven to be a reliable tool for demonic communication.

Genesis: I wanna leave! I'm not playing with this stuff!

Angeal: You moved it, didn't you, Genesis? You wanted to scare me and be right about the paranormal.

Genesis: Shut up! I have my limits too, you know!

Zack: Guys! Shhh! Let me talk to it!

Zack: Dear Mr. Ghost..... Or should I say Mrs. Ghost? Ms. Ghost? Wait, what if the ghost is gender neutral?

Angeal: Ghosts aren't real!

*The planchette moves again, this time right on the letter G. Everyone screams and starts panicking*

Sephiroth: Is that real enough for you?

Genesis: It's spelling something out!

Angeal: Shut up! Look!

*The planchette continues to move until it spells out GET OUT*

Genesis: YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!

*He gets up and runs out the door screaming. Zack and Angeal follow him, also screaming. They leave Sephiroth alone at the table, snickering with his fingers still on the planchette*

Sephiroth: Suckers.

*He pulls out a jumbo bag of Halloween candy and starts eating*

#ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephiroth #ffvii crisis core #genesis rhapsodos #final fantasy vii #final fantasy #angeal hewley #ff7r #zack fair #ff7 crisis core #final fantasy 7 crisis core #ff7cc #storytime #soldier halloween

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ryeriy · 9 months

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don't you remember?

warnings: mentions of sex, fluff

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a/n: the story is told from two different tine zones so yeah. this is inspired by one of my favorite songs called isn't it midnight by fleetwood mac and this is probably my favorite because of it. I'm going to link the song because it is so good.

mentions: @hischierhaze @67-angelofthelordme-67 @huggy-hischier94 @francesfarhadi @trevorzegrizz @cole-mcward48

5:06 PM, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA

"Dude, I swear she's real! I saw her with my eyes! She's not fake!" Trevor exclaims at his brown-haired friend, who's laughing at him.

"She's not real Trevor, all you've told me is that you met her at a bar and had sex, you said you didn't even see her face and said she was pretty! You also said she was like a hippie and was qoute on qoute, calm, cool and collected. You don't even remember her name! She's not real! Wouldn't you think you'd remember a pretty girl?" He says while laughing at him. Laughing at how delusional he is sounding right now. "Jack, I'm not making this up! I had sex with her!" The delusional dark-haired one exclaims. "Whatever, you're lying." Jack sighs.

9:06 PM, PORTLAND, MAINE

"(Y/n)! You didn't have sex with THE Trevor Zegras. It's impossible!" Exclaimed a dirty blonde, beautiful, young women.

"Um I did! Remember when I went to Anaheim to see my sister? Well I came across an individual who happened to be him and I had sex with him!" I argued against the blonde. "Well yeah I look a bit weird and my personality is a bit questionable but that doesn't mean anything!"

"Well why didn't you get his number (y/n)?" She questioned me, I was looking clueless. "It was late Kat! I had to go to the airport to catch my flight!" "Yeah? Well you had enough time to screw each other but no time to exchange numbers?" Kat explained to me. "When was this anyways (y/n)?" She asked me. "Few months ago..." "And you didn't tell me till now! Jesus (y/n)! You claim you had sex with a famous hockey player and you don't think of telling me?!" Kat yelled at me for answers that I didn't have.

I explained to her what happened. Kat still denied to believe a single word that came out of my mouth. We kept arguing going back and fourth. The ding on her phone silenced the two of us. She checker her phone. "Oh that's weird." She said while making her face. "What is it now Kat?" I say while laughing at the face she made.

5:49 PM, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA

"Ha! What a coincidence!" Jack says while pointing to his phone. "Yes?" Trevor questions him. "Well remember how I said I had this friend who lives in Maine?" He said. "What about her?"

"Well I texted her saying that you know, you keep blabbering about this girl who doesn't exist. She responded and said lol funny story. She told me that her friend, (y/n), and she is blabbering like you saying she was in Anaheim to vist family and she had sex with Trevor Zegras." Jack sighs.

"Can you ask your friend for her number?" Those are the words that slip from his mouth. "No I told you so?" Jack questioned questions. "What's. Her. Number." He repeats himself. "Fine, I'll ask her."

10:13 PM, PORTLAND, MAINE

"Oh my God, Kat! You will never believe this!" I jump up and down smiling so hard at my phone. "What?" She says while looking over at me. "He texted me! Trevor freaking Zegras texted me!" She rushes over to look down at my phone and she's in shock.

"I didn't think he would do it!" Kat says while sighing. "Do what?" I ask her. "Give him your number!" Kat wasn't making sense. Is she secretly friends with Trevor Zegras and decided not to tell me? "Wait are you friends with Trevor Zegras or something? Is that why he texted me?" I ask her. "No! My friend Jack is thoug-" I cut her off before she finished the sentence. "Jack Hughes?! You're friends with Jack Hughes and didn't mention it!?" I'm shocked. What else is she hiding, she's not Kat. "I didn't think I had to." She says while laughing. I sigh and laugh with her.

"Now, if you excuse me I have a very hot hockey player to talk to." I sa my while laughing and walking into my room. I heard Kat sigh as I walked into my bedroom. She probably turned on the TV or something for her.

6:30 PM, ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA

"Dude! She's actually texting me!" Trevor says to Jack. His face is bright red while he's looking at his phone. "I'll leave you to you it." Jack leaves the room and he leaves Trevor to be in love and fall for this girl he met once. The two started chatting for a long time, a really long time.

y/n <3

Hey, it's Trevor! I don't know if you remember me but we hooked up that one night. I just wanted to say I'm sorry that we didn't keep in touch but I'm texting you now so I hope you see this and we can talk :)

Hey! I'm y/n btw I don't think I introduced myself the first time we met. I'd love to keep in touch with you. You know when I first told people about our interaction they didn't believe me but since my friend, Kat is friends with your friend she had to believe me I guess lol.

Nice to meet you y/n. I was hoping we could talk. If you're not busy right now because if you're busy I can talk later but no rush.

I can tell you talk a lot.

Is that a bad thing?

No I like that about you :)

Thanks....so do you have time to talk...?

For you? Of course I do.

11:46 PM, PORTLAND, MAINE

I've been talking to him for just about an hour. I'm so in love with him already. We've been talking about almost everything you can talk about. All of the sudden a call notification pops up on my phone. Oh wow. I'm shocked. He's calling me. I pinched myself to make sure this whole thing wasn't a dream. I answer the call and hold my phone up to my War.

"Hello, (y/n)." I hear him say. I feel like I just melted from the overload of all this. I feel like a million butterflies were released into my stomach. I feel like my hear is going to explode from how fast it's pounding. "Hey." Is all I can say.

"How's it going pretty girl?" I can hear him smiling over the phone from California. He can probably hear me being a complete boy crazy mess for him.

"Good now that you called." I say while laughing at the end. I can hear him laugh along too.

"So, Jack was telling me his friend was from Maine. I'm assuming that's also where you live?" He asks. I still can't believe this actually happening to me.

"Yeah. She and I are roommates." I reply to him. I hear him let out an Mhm. I'm so anxious waiting for him talk again.

"Isn't it midnight for you? You know since your like on the other side of the world?" I laugh.

"Yeah almost. You do realize I'm not on the other side of the world? I'm just across the country." I say while laughing. I hear him let out a chuckle.

"Same thing." He says with a pause. "I'll let you go since you probably should sleep. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah, talk to you later." I say back to him as I hang up. I smile while I bring my phone down from me ear. I'm so in love with him.

#Spotify #nhl hockey #nhl x reader #ryeriy #nhl fanfiction #hockey #jack hughes #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader

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aziraphales-library · 6 months

Note

Hi! By the time this posts, it should be well beyond the debut of the second series, so I hope you all are doing okay! I am ISO crossovers with small or obscure fandoms which might be more difficult to search. I enjoy recs from popular crossovers as well! But sometimes there’s only one fic in a category which can get buried, and I’m specifically looking for that random good omens- tiny-fandom crossover where someone picks up one of their obscure old fav and creates something exciting with their love for good omens. Thank you kindly!

Hello! This was actually a lot of fun to search for! There's no 'easy' way to do it, but if you want to go hunting yourself I recommend using AO3 to filter out the popular crossover fandoms by adding them to the 'tags to exclude' list and just browsing through what's left. These aren't all necessarily small fandoms, but they don't have loads of crossovers with Good Omens. I'm recommending these ones simply because they sound fun and I want to read them myself!...

Perfect Books by risky_writing (G)

When Ted was looking for a book to perfectly communicate what he needed to each of his players, he found himself in the most peculiar bookstore in London. But, it sure is a swell place.

The lovers, the dreamers, and me by hapax (G)

A frog with a dream. An angel with an assignment. A pig with regrets. A demon with a mission. The crossover that nobody asked for, but everybody needs.

Hell and Back by anticyclone (T)

"Perhaps we could assist you with the …subjugation… of this angel," Winifred suggested, which made Crowley groan again and Anathema cringe. Aziraphale just rolled his eyes. "You see, I still have a connection to my Book, and I need to bring it back to Hell with me." "This book? With the eyeball?" Crowley looked at it, and then up at Aziraphale, who smiled at him. The demon turned back to Winifred. "That's not happening." The Sanderson sisters have been in Hell for some three hundred years and have still not had the pleasure of being introduced to Satan. But Winifred thinks she has a way to rectify that, if only she can get her hands on her Book. Luckily, some angel put it on an unprotected shelf, where it's able to find itself a witch.

Ineffable Dogma by ThetaSigma (E)

Aziraphale and Crowley find out there is apparently a massive plot threatening all of creation. With a bit of experience stopping the End of Everything, they set off to make sure nothing goes wrong. Which is a good thing, as no one told Bethany & Co what was really at stake. In the end, it takes all of them -- Bethany & Co and the Ineffable Husbands -- to fix this. *** Bethany has the feeling, on and off, since they left the club with the shit demon, that they’re being watched. Oh, she knows that both Heaven and Hell are watching their actions pretty fucking closely, really, but it doesn’t feel like that. It’s like someone, maybe several someones, are following them, following her. She catches glimpses, sometimes. Of red hair, or a scowl, or white hair, or a cherubic face wreathed in disappointment. But it’s gone as quickly as it came and she’s left doubting if it ever happened.

"So Fetch" Omens by IneffableAlien (T)

After sixteen years of van life with her religious hippie parents, homeschooled Azi is enrolled in public school for the first time.

The Divine at the Warfront by creativeimagination206 (T)

In the throes of the Korean War, Aziraphale is sent to a mobile medical unit near the front to address the sudden influx of prayer from that area. With Crowley by his side, the angel must determine and straighten out the cause of the heaven-sent pleas, all while navigating the unfamiliar territory of the 4077th and the rather eccentric cast of characters that await them.

The Starting Hinge by lucky_spike (T)

When a rare book collector is mysteriously killed, DI Barnaby and DS Winter are on the case. Meanwhile, the question of what will become of the victim's extensive library stirs a small group of rare books collectors into a furor. Who can be trusted? - This is predominantly a Good Omens fanfic with some Midsomer Murders thrown in just because I could do it and I wanted to. Contains death of an OC and (obvs) murder and attempts thereof. Nothing gory, though, so party on.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable wives #crossover #human au #mod d

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allwaswell16 · 26 days

Note

Hiiii girly, do you know fics that fit the "grumpy x sunshine" trope? I picture H as de sunshine one, but im open to anything thst fits the trope haha thank you so much love

EDITED TO ADD: ffs I thought this was to my other blog sorry lol. I didn't notice until after I published it. so that link below is to a rec I did there. But if you end up wanting a longer rec than the 6 fics I'm putting here, feel free to send me another ask and I'll put it on my pinned post to do list! Hi, anon! You're very welcome! So I have this rec:

✤ Grumpy Harry/Sunshine Louis

And here are a few with it the opposite way...

You're Not My Type (still I fall) by Imogenlee / @imogenleewriter

His mum is going to kill him!

Well, not kill him. Just give him a right telling off, make him admit she'd been right, then try to confine him to his room until they found a hefty Alpha to look after him and rein him in or something.

She wouldn't manage, of course. Harry is only twenty-four and has no inclination to settle down at all, especially not at the behest of an Alpha.

But, as his mum would point out, that was the same stubborn attitude that got him here: in his car, in a thunderstorm, on the side of a forsaken lane of some little countryside town in Yorkshire. His mobile's got no signal, his GPS isn't working, and he's running low on petrol, so he can't even use the heater.

Oh, and most importantly, his car is stuck in the mud, so even if the GPS was working and he knew where to go, he wouldn’t be able to.

He's been in stickier spots; he reminds himself. Way stickier. This is just a bit of rain; it'll blow over. Then Harry will just... well, alright, he isn't entirely sure what to do when the rain stops because he'll still be stuck and lost. But, hey, there won't be any rain, which is something to cheer about.

Hidden Gardens by pinky_heaven19

Harry burst out laughing, the sound mixing with the loud chatter as more people entered the pub.

“I knew you'd say that! It's just too easy to get you riled up, isn't it?” Harry took another sip of his beer, cleaning a little foam off his upper lip

“Why do you like to piss me off so much?” Louis said, rubbing his closed eyes with the tip of his fingers. He didn't feel as angry as he looked, but apparently he had a reputation to keep.

“Believe me, the only time I did it on purpose was just now. Hey, is this going to be our dynamic forever? I come here, you snap at me for no reason at all, throw me out and I come back? It's getting pretty predictable.”

“Why do you keep coming back, exactly?” Louis said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“I like your pretty face. And Niall has sick jokes. The beer is fine, too."

OR the one where Louis owns a pub and Harry is a photographer who needs his help for a project. Louis is grumpy, Harry is not. Louis has a secret. There is some pining and a lot of fluff.

and then there was you by littlehazandlou

"Well Louis who broke into my garden. I'm Harry. This is my garden." the guy, Harry, says, his face breaking out into a bright grin and spreads his arms wide to gesture to the garden.

"Uh... Yeah. 'S nice..." Louis mumbles, looking at the guy suspiciously, "You aren't angry?" He asks "I just broke into your garden."

Or, the one where Louis is a grumpy author and Harry is the hippie who lives at the end of his garden. Sort of.

#ask #anon #ficrec #minificrecs #littlehazandlou #pinkyheaven19 #imogenlee

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itspkuwu · 3 months

Text

EEnE characters ranked (MY OPINION)

Let’s cut right to the chase, because I really wanna put this out there.

Lee Kanker is in last place. She gets lower than F tier. Where Marie and May had moments where they seemed to genuinely care about each other, Lee just sits there, manipulates, and spreads cruelty. And as for the times where Marie and May were fighting/being mean etc? Well, I have a theory. Remember in Big Picture Show where we see that Lee has a third eye? You know who else has a third eye for no good reason…?

DEMONS. LEE IS AN ACTUAL DEMONIC MENACE WHO BRAINWASHES HER SISTERS JUST TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL MISERABLE. AND EVEN THEN SHE MISTREATS HER “MINIONS” TOO.

And remember when Nazz kissed Double D and Eddy on the cheek? Compare that to how they react to the Kanker’s kisses. How big those lips are… that specific shade of red… the way the Ed boys become horrified every single time…

THE LIP STICK IS CREATED BY LEE AND HAS DARK MAGIC INSIDE OF IT. THATS MY THEORY. IM STICKING TO IT. SCREW YOU LEE.

Everybody in the “lol why” tier it’s just an object that isn’t Plank or I haven’t seen those episodes yet. So I can’t really give my thoughts yet.

Rolf’s animals get their own tier. They have an amazing caretaker :3

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH DORK DORK DORK DORK ITS KEVIN DJDJUDUFHDBRJRIRID.

He’s just a jerk lol. AND NO I DO NOT SHIP HIM WITH ANYBODY. NOT NAZZ. NOT DOUBLE D. ESPECIALLY NOT DOUBLE D. NOBODY.

except his bike.

Eddy’s brother (whose name is apparently Tarry??) is also a jerk. But he makes a pretty cool antagonist. And he just makes me like Eddy even more.

also i feel like he would be a tumblr sexy man

Mildred blinks at you :D

Plank is an immortal God who will one day rule the world. This is my canon.

I REALLY wish we could have seen more of what happened to Jonny post Big Picture Show. Him being “The Gourd” and having a villain arc just sounds super fun. Other than that he’s just a weird kid. I like him.

Don’t let Jimmy fool y’all. He’s a lil maniac. He probably gets it from Sarah. And it’s always a shocker to me given how much he acts so innocent and harmless. He’s a pretty neat anti hero.

I KNOW I SHOULD HATE SARAH. But I feel like there’s more to her than meets the eye. I honestly think her parents taught her the hate her big brother. If they weren’t around, she probably wouldn’t been to mean to him. Making me feel extremely sympathetic for both of them. And at least she looks after Jimmy, giving her redeeming qualities.

To be honest this show needs a character like Nazz. Everything has to be balanced out with someone who isn’t constantly out to get something, being mean, or acting like a weirdo. But yes, she does have her moments, which are rightfully deserved. Plus, I just really like her chill and hippie way of going about.

Marie Kanker and May Kanker are being ranked together. The potential they have to be redeemed is through the roof. They deserve so much better. If Lee wasn’t around to mess with their heads, I think they would be truly happy. Marie could spend her days jamming out and living on the edge, while May is cute and ditzy and a voice of reason at times. Plus both of their hairstyles are really eye candy for me.

The Ed boys are also being ranked together. What else can I say that hasn’t been said already? The way these three bounce off of each other is extremely enjoyable and definitely gets good laughs out of me. I know they have their moments where they aren’t so friendly, but you don’t always have to get along with someone for you to still love them. And when the gentle giant goof, the soft hearted nerd, and the selfish man with a heart of gold do get along, it’s sweeter than jawbreakers :)

AND NOW WE HAVE ARRIVED AT THE TRUE GOD. THE LIGHT IN DARK TIMES. THE DIAMOND WITHIN THE DIRT. THE ONLY BOY ON THE SHOW WITH A GOOD HAIRCUT.

ROLF. THE SON OF A SHEPHERD.

Rolf is hands down one of if not the best side character in animation history. He’s a goober for one thing. But a goober that’s gets us to take him seriously. You do not mess with this man. His pride is enough to break you leg. And yet, he still manages to be one of the nicest characters in the show. He’s so friendly and upbeat! And when he isn’t… his dark side is also a fun time.

And another thing, he’s a fish out of water. Which also allows the viewer to feel sympathetic for him. Like in Wish You Were Ed. Seeing Rolf cry is something you’d never think you’d see, but when you do, it makes you feel a somber emotion you had no idea existed. It’s amazing.

yeah, Rolf is amazing.

Also I asked my sister if she wanted to dance to That’s My Horse at her wedding and she said no. What a loser right?

So uh, that’s my list. Hope you enjoyed.

Go hug a chicken.

#ed edd n eddy #eene #eene rolf #the kanker sisters #marie kanker #may kanker #cartoon network #tier list #ranking #iNmYoWnPeRsOnAlHeAdCaNoN #my thoughts 💭#my opinion #I hate you lee

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joehawke · 1 year

Text

Gave Me Something To Lose

Inspired by this post. Please be aware this is very melodramatic and if that isn’t your thing then feel free to scroll past lol. Set many years after Vecna, Steve and Eddie and their relationship have changed a lot for reasons you’ll read just keep that in mind. :)

Plot loosely based on the musical The Last Five Years

There’s just some things Steve can’t explain, stupid stuff like why the sky is blue or why his feet squeak against the linoleum floor no matter how many times he replaces the loose wood panels. He’ll never understand the concept of magnets, and he’ll never understand why Robin insists on continuing to put up with her weird hippy parents despite her constant grievances. It’s the little things, like how Dustin and Suzie communicate that don’t make sense to him, or the way Hopper grumbles about being around so many ‘damn kids’ when Steve knows he wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s the little things he pays attention to that others wouldn’t notice, like the way Max draws stars on the cuffs of her jeans when she gets nervous or the way Mike and Nancy have the same tendency, a signature if you will, to pick at their skin when they get mad. It’s the little things he can’t explain, the little things that leave him lying awake at night asking himself a million questions.

But it's also the little things that stick with him, like those unruly magnets he’s yet to figure out (though he’s sure if he were to ask Dustin he’d get his answer almost immediately, but maybe it’s the wondering that leaves him aware and present).

It’s those stupid nagging unsure of explanations that have him and Eddie staring angrily at each other across the dim flickering kitchen light - and damn it, Steve thought he fixed that stupid bulb. Steve’s head is starting the throb, like every fiber and being in him is fighting against one another and isn’t that just great? Like he needs another fight. This wasn’t his plan. Maybe that was the issue. That’s what started this whole mess, wasn’t it?

The enormity of time sits like a weight on Steve’s chest, the ticking of Wayne’s old grandfather clock giving way to the eerie silence of the living room, the sound reverberating off Steve’s mothers old china. Steve closes his eyes, the hope of another day far away from this one blur on the inside of his lids. The sound of a trash bag lures Steve out, and it takes everything in him not to just walk away and never look back, but he can’t. Who would he be if he did? Images of his father flash into his mind before he shakes him away with a force he hasn’t been met with in awhile.

Steve watches with careful eyes as Eddie opens the bag wide, dumping the remnants of what was supposed to be something carefree and new, now beginning to crumble to the bottom of the flimsy transparent plastic. He watches as Eddie’s shoulder blades flex through the cream satin of his shirt with every sharp movement, and it all feels too harsh and Steve knows this feeling all too well.

He closes his eyes once more and breathes in the smell of stale champagne and left over stuffed chicken, and tries to imagine a world where his relationships don't turn out like his parents. Images of Nancy and now Eddie filter into his head. He fails.

He blows out the candles one by one, watching the smoke twist and twine its way into the dimly lit room, disappearing into the moonlight escaping through the curtains. He can feel a pair of eyes on him as he examines the crescent shape of pink leftover lips that have imprinted themselves onto the champagne flutes, Robin and Nancy’s signature colors making themselves known as Steve tucks the stem of each glass in between his fingers, ignoring the lingering pair of eyes as he makes his way to the kitchen.

He can see Eddie from his peripherals clearing Steve’s mothers old china off the table, stacking them with a force that makes him cringe. Steve scrubs harder at the remanence of smudged lips and closes his eyes once again, hoping, praying to a God he’s not sure he believes in, that in this moment, he’ll wake up to the day he and Eddie first kissed outside his pool. Eddie with his ridiculous red and black board shorts, and Steve with his way too tiny yellow trunks, a giant smile playing on his lips as he watches Eddie play fetch with the border collie from down the street that sneaks in under Steve’s fence every time Steve grills.

Steve’s pulled out of his trance by the sound of glass on glass and when he opens his eyes with a startle, Eddie has set the stacked plates down on the counter next to the sink. Steve turns and continues to scrub at the flutes, continues to keep his eyes locked in front of himself.

Eddie has his calloused palms wrapped tightly around a beer bottle, the warm amber like liquid sloshing gently against the ceramic as he brings it up to his lips. Steve can feel him pause, like he’s weighing his options studiously, before he fully takes the long awaited sip, the liquid disappearing down his throat with one gulp. The silence cuts through the kitchen and Steve can’t decide if he should leave it, let it fester like a fresh wound, or let it dissipate into friendly chatter. Steve knows the latter is far from. He reaches for one of the stacked plates, the gold rim of the porcelain glimmering in the kitchen light, when a hand reaches for the sponge in Steve’s left hand, setting it down in the sink gently.

Steve finally lets himself look up at Eddie, and the reflection he’s met with suddenly angers him. His cupid’s bow is wet with a golden tint of what Steve can only imagine to be as beer, and the purple crescent indents under his eyes are almost comical, though Steve doesn't laugh. He twines his hands with Steve’s, and instead of giving him the satisfaction of pulling away, Steve stands his guard and goes for looking down at their feet instead; Eddie’s “nicest” smudged combat boots that Steve always gets a good laugh at, and Steve’s freshly polished dress shoes his parents got him in Venice for some holiday long forgotten, stare back at him in a taunting manor.

Silence morphs its way around the room, closing in on him like something dark, and he wishes he had the courage to say something, anything, but he doesn't. He can’t be his parents. And saying something - voicing it aloud, doesn’t that make his worst fear creep its hands up his throat, allowing them to choke him once and for all? So instead, Steve focuses on that stupid flickering light bulb and despite the memories the flickering tends to bring back, he sits in it nonetheless - because sitting in those memories he thinks, is better than sitting in this weird limbo he’s tried so hard to keep away. But he’s never been one to win a fight.

“Stevie...”

And just like that, the sound barrier breaks, the static that was beginning to engulf Steve, shattering in an instant, and he can’t tell if it makes him want to exhale or inhale, yet he doesn't respond.

“Steve. Come on” Eddie says, his tone harsh and tired, his head lulling to the side. And Eddie’s never harsh. He’s gentle and sometimes jittery, but never harsh. He’s migrated his hands to Steve’s hips, and he can feel every nerve in Steve freeze, “Stevie please. Can we talk about this? Can’t we go one night without fighting?” Steve’s jaw tightens and it takes everything in him not to look up into the brown he knows is staring down at him; the brown forest Steve once used to imagine sonnets were made of. The brown forest Steve’s watched dim over the last few years. “For god sake Steve. I thought you would be happy! Why are you acting like this?”

Out of everything that has been said tonight, this makes Steve physically laugh. He looks up at him, a smile starting to form on Eddie’s own lips and this makes Steve laugh harder.

“What’s so funny?” Eddie asks, a slight hint of humor lacing the previous venom.

“You think I’m laughing with you” Steve laughs out. A statement. Not a question. Tears blur Steve’s vision and part of Steve blames it on the laughter bubbling in his chest, but a deeper rooted part blames it on the salty storm that has been festering all night. Steve can feel Eddie’s demeanor change, his hands freezing in their place, wilting like a flower in late summer, and the still eeriness of it all grounds Steve in a way he’s yet to allow himself to explore.

“What is your problem?” Eddie spits, a supercilious filter dripping with every syllable. Steve lets himself look up at this. Lets himself search his eyes for an answer he knows is long gone. Steve lets himself go. For this one, mere minute, he allows himself to defend himself for just this once. Screw his vows to not end up like his father. He’s tired of acting like the picture perfect housewife his mother once was. Correction; his mother still is.

“My problem?” Steve asks quietly, a hint of nothing but unadulterated venom lacing his tone like cloyed honey.

“Oh don’t play the victim Steve. You’ve been nothing but cold and bitter all night. Not everything is about you. Did that ever occur to you? Oh right, of course not, because nothing else matters to King Steve as he sits here and falters in his big old castle” Eddie spits, turning to the liquor cabinet before reaching for the bottle of heavy, amber colored liquid.

Steve watches as he pours himself another glass, his nails digging into the palm of his hand, purple crescent shapes forging into the silky skin as he takes in the words Eddie let snake their way around their kitchen. King Steve King Steve King Steve King — No. No No. Eddie was supposed to be the person who saw through his stupid placated facade and Eddie was supposed to be the person who understood and when did that get so screwed up? When did they get so lost in translation? Steve’s so fucking tired of sitting still and acting like a good fucking trained puppy.

“Eddie.” Breathe. Once. In. Out. Exhale. Stand your guard. “I found out you planned on packing up and moving across the country through a ‘celebratory’ dinner with our friends and family. That you were planning on leaving for yet another year long tour. Excuse me for being selfish”. Steve spits, watches as Eddie processes what he said, as he almost smiles in mirth at the fact that for once, Steve spoke up rather than nodded his head and agreed. That for once, Steve fought against, and Steve can’t tell if the clench of his jaw is out of curiosity or out of anger over the fact that Steve didn’t abide. And when the fuck did Steve become his mother? Steve refused to let him win this time.

Eddie says nothing. Steve pictures his mother keeping her mouth shut by downing her endless bottles of wine. Steve’s tired of drowning with his mother. He continues. “You can’t think that for one moment I was going to be happy about this, did you? I’ve supported you since we bought that stupid shoebox apartment and you told me Corroded Coffin got a record deal. I supported you when you were gone days at a time because you had to leave town to ‘record a new single’. I supported you when you left me home alone for another three weeks as you played dive bars across the state. I put my life on hold for you, so sorry if this so-called ‘surprise’ didn’t make me happy” Steve says, letting go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding, releasing his nails from the flesh of his palm.

The air in the kitchen has gone quiet once again, and Steve thinks about an entity where silence isn’t the only option. Steve watches as Eddie searches his face for an answer to a question Steve’s yet to figure out. Steve sometimes wonders if people look at his life like some massive question and somehow he’s the wrong answer. Steve wonders when the day will come when people will realize he hasn't even solved his own unattainable mess of an equation.

The grandfather clock strikes twelve and Eddie downs the rest of the warm hazy liquid, lazily tossing the cup into the sink. Steve steps back, an old habit he never quite realized he started doing. But maybe that’s a lie as images of Tommy Hagen yelling at him ‘that’s right Stevie boy, run away! Run away just like you always do!’ make his way to the front of his brain.

Eddie’s jaw clenches, and Steve watches as Eddie’s hands shake, a tell tale he’s nervous or upset. Steve doesn’t feel like deciphering which one it is today. Maybe Steve should’ve stopped there, maybe they could’ve gone to bed and figured it out in the morning. But that was the issue, wasn’t it? They never did figure it out. They’d go to bed with hope clasped between their fingertips as tense unsalvageable feelings warped their way between their sides of the bed. And Eddie would leave the next morning like nothing happened and Steve would wait at the door like a sad pitiful lost cause. And he was sick of it. He was so fucking sick of it. He vowed to never turn into his ‘grade A asshole’ of a father and yet, the one person he never would’ve thought to fear would be his sad excuse of a mother. And something in him aches for her. Something in him wants to reach out, hold her hand, whisper out broken promises as she tells him they’ll get out of this hole together. But his mother isn’t here and his fathers knuckles ache against his cheek as they try to reach down his throat and continue what Steve never wanted to start in the first place. “You know better boy, if you’re going to start a fight - you need to execute and end it. Got it?” So excuse Steve if he never was good at biting his tongue.

“I’m not some fucking trophy wife for you to come home to and fuck away your stresses and then pack up and leave again. I’m not here for your - your – disposal” Steve spits, the venom starting to lace his words like something vile. Steve watches as something close to mirth flashes across Eddie’s eyes.

“It’s not my fault you haven’t figured out what the hell you want to do with your life Steve! Excuse me for being happy for once your highness” Eddie laughs out, digging into his pockets if not just to have something to fidget with.

“That’s not fair Eddie and you know it” Steve says quietly, and Eddie and Steve both know Eddie cut open a scar Steve’s been trying to close for ages now. And maybe Steve should blame himself really. A part of Eddie is right. Steve flunked out of his first few courses at the community college, but he had wanted to try again once he was in a better headspace. Only - that space never came. He was always too busy watching everyone else from the sidelines. He has nothing to prove for himself, and Eddie knows this. God Eddie knows this and he’s just bringing it to light isn’t it? And speaking of light, that stupid bulb is just flickering more aggressively and Steve’s head is throbbing twice as hard and his heart hurts and he’s so fucking tired.

“Why not? You know it’s true. You sit around here all day moping and fixing shit that doesn’t need to be fixed. Have you ever stopped and thought, hm, maybe I should start fixing myself?” Eddie spits, continuing, and maybe Steve broke a while back, maybe Steve’s been broken since his father fed ideas of being nothing but a failure into his head. Maybe he’s been broken since Tommy Hagen planted the seed of an idea into his head and because Steve was too weak, he let the roots grow. Maybe Steve’s been broken since he got rightfully punched by Johnathan Byers all those years ago. Maybe Steve’s been broken since his first encounter with the monsters he discovered lived outside just his head. But then Eddie came along and slowly but surely, started to piece his broken figures back together like it was the easiest thing he’s ever done. When did they start to fray around the edges and come undone again? When did Steve stop noticing Eddie had stopped picking up the pieces? Steve’s line of vision becomes blurry as tears threaten to escape his waterline. Eddie eyes Steve carefully, as if he were weighing an inner turmoil. “I will not lose because you can’t win Steve.” And suddenly, all the fight that Steve had left evaporates from his body like something ghostly.

“Fuck you Eddie” Steve whispers before turning back towards the living room and making his way out of sight into the dark hallway. Somewhere in the vast, unspoken quietude and space between them, lies a million questions, and this time, Steve won’t allow himself to explain them.

I told you it would be melodramatic…

So whether or not you think Eddie or Steve or neither of them are the bad guy, I’ll leave up to your interpretation. Do I do a part two? Or leave it as it is to showcase not all relationships are perfect? (Cliche of me I know) thoughts are always appreciated

Please also note that I lowkey hated the characterization of both eddie and Steve and felt they were out of character until after I had finish and I came to the realization that I wrote them like that to showcase how hurt and insecurities can change both people and a relationship.

#no one edited this so excuse any mistakes #I’m a sucker for angst I don’t apologize #I do however apologize for the melodrama of it tho #they were happily in love at one point tho…#steve harrington #stranger things #steddie #steve stranger things #eddie munson #steve x eddie #eddie stranger things #steve harrington has bad parents #famous eddie munson #steddie angst #steddie whump #steddie ficlet #will be posted on ao3 as well

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saltygilmores · 9 months

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 17, "Dead Uncles and Vegetables", Part 2

Read part 1 here and all other episodes here. Luke is giving Lorelai the run down on the Life and Death of Uncle Louie, which is terribly un important. Think it's funny that he doesn't tell Lorelai about the existence of his family members until there's a crisis like his uncle croaking. Lorelai didn't know he had a sister or nephew until Jess was practically on his doorstep. Frankly, the life story of Liz Danes is infinitely more fascinating than Dead Louie's. I have to make a small correction: in the previous post, I stated that Teach Me Tonight was the next episode, but there's actually another wonderful, glorious, absolutely pointless filler episode next. That one where Richard helps Rory with a project for the Chilton business fair and Madelyn invents the Amazon Alexa a full 12 years before Amazon does but Rory sidelines her invention because no one at Chilton knows how to build a robot.

I can't think of a more gruesome place to spend the afterlife. If I happened to die in The Hollow, I would come back and haunt you. I'm gonna haunt you so hard, Lorelai Gilmore. You, Dean. Boom, haunted.

A little healthy competition for Taylor Doose. Just a warmup before Walmart eventually moves in and flattens both markets.

Love Miss Patty. Back at the Inn, Michel notices the 9 rooms that Lorelai reserved for Luke but there is no credit card on file to pay for said rooms. What's that sound? Could it be the sound of Lorelai Gilmore’s gross financial irresponsibility? Could it be that Lorelai just gifted Luke 9 free hotel rooms with no way to make that money back for the Inn?

Ha!

To bring everyone up to speed on the low stakes drama currently under way: Sookie is planning her wedding, and after a fateful soup tasting, Emily has wormed her way in to the wedding planning. Lorelai is predictably miffed. I fear that a day without a Miffed Lorelai would throw the Earth off it's axis.

For at least the second time in so many weeks, Lorelai has just up and left work in the middle of the day to help Luke do something and no one tries to stop her, on top of that she is leaving her real job to go work another job filling in for Luke.

Lorelai Gilmore is an HR rep’s nightmare. Meanwhile at the diner: the war for small town economic dominance rages on between Taylor and the gentle farmer's market hippie, while Lorelai works behind the counter and Rory....

WHHHAAAAA???! First Rory paid for her food, now she's working.... a job??!

Gross. Kirk just ordered lunch, Lorelai is about to bring Luke a turkey burger, and another customer asked Lorelai if they were still serving breakfast, so are we to assume it’s like, around 11am? And Rory is not in school. My word! She pulled a Jess and skipped school to work! It's even funnier when you think about how Luke is basically nobody to Rory at this point but some dick her mom is quietly chasing and her mother pulls her out of school to wait tables at his restaurant. (before anyone says "maybe it's a weekend", Rory was in her Chilton uniform just moments ago). Taylor, observing Miss Patty across the street at the farmer's market: "Since when does Patty eat so much fruit?" This is the woman who told 15 year old Rory that plums were better than sex.

Taylor is quaking in his cardigan, he knows deep down that at any moment his power and stranglehold over Stars Hollow could be usurped in a blink. Hippie: My market is so busy I don't have time to take a break and eat a meal. Taylor: A well groomed businessman with a good staff can afford to take a break now and again. Kirk:

The exquisitely timed, deadpan delivery of this line delighted me #TomatosSign #KirkMayBeATouchNeurodivergent

In other Low Stakes Drama, Lorelai has gone upstairs to bring Luke his lunch. He informs Lorelai that none of his relatives are coming to Dead Louie’s funeral, and they both pretend to be sad about it. Jess is nowhere to be found, so I guess unlike Rory, he’s at school, not jerking off for once.

Luke laments the lame excuses that his no good relatives gave for skipping Dead Louie’s funeral, like “I can’t miss work.”

If only they had the generous “Leave work in the middle of a shift to go help the diner guy” PTO package that the Independence Inn provides to Lorelai.

Luke begins the ol’ “name and shame the family members who have stood me up” and to no one’s fucking surprise Liz is among the funeral skippers who isn’t answering his calls (and at the same time isn’t seizing this opportunity to visit her own son and brother).

Oh Liz Danes you are SO getting haunted.

Now this just throws more Confusion Dressing onto the Dead Uncles and Vegetables Salad. On top of the "Rory gets pulled out school to chase her mom's Dick Goals", Jess also isn’t at school, and Luke says he’s…playing basketball. Ha ha ha. From the fantastical imagination of one Miss AmyShermanPalladino, who bought us “Dean likes/knows how to read”, comes its thrilling sequel, “Jess plays sports!"

Okay. Okay. Nothing is as creative or fantastically fictional as “Dean being literate”. And that being said, I could see Jess shooting hoops, I guess? Like maybe he spent time at the parks and playgrounds of New York City to blow off a little steam. Maybe it’s not a terribly ridiculous notion.

Anyhow, much like “I was playing football with my friends” ala the big fat lie in Swan Song, Rory just accepts this statement without question and then calls him a "little punk". Why? The hell did he do? First ya'll are mad he's causing "mischief" and now he's found a wholesome activity to keep him occupied and off the mean streets of Stars Hollow and you're still mad.

That brown shirt looked fucking stellar on him and he had to go and ruin it with a poofy lifejacket. 2000's fashion, man. I love how there is clearly nothing for Jess to do plotwise so they made up this z-plot where Rory keeps getting mad at him for taking time off from work, as if it matters to her, and as if he doesn’t have the most solid work ethic in Stars Hollow and shouldn’t be allowed take a break and play his little basketball game if he wants.

The low stakes drama continues: Jackson shows up at the diner and is not pleased about the intrusion on his wedding…by his fiancée’s coworker’s mother, of all people. I’m sure he had a lot of questions for Sookie about that.

Poor Jess. I'm sure he tried so hard to hold onto that fleeting moment of bliss today, a brief time when he was free, playing basketball, by himself most likely, skipping school, no one bothering him, then Rory shows up and drags him back to work/home for some reason and then Luke forces him to go to a town meeting, He never even got any time to jerk off. I don't understand why Luke goes to these things. Clearly any time there is a meeting he is there not of his own free will, so what are the terrifying consequences for staying home?

Here sits a defeated man. Taylor: You're late Lorelai, I banged this meeting in a half hour ago. Lorelai: Ooh, dirty. Miss Patty's reaction:

Dirty old bat. I love her.

Das a good question.

Tell me again why he should care about The Town? Why should anyone care about The Town? Fuck Stars Hollow.

The many faces of Milo. What a cutiemuffin gumdrop. Ah the famous scene where many claim to see Milo mouthing "I love you" at Alexis across the seats, to me it just looks like he's chewing his lip. The way he is looking at her is incredibly precious and adoring nonetheless. Lord, I think I just popped an ovary. Ow. Camp I Love You, Camp Lip Chewer, I respect you both, now let's just meet in the middle where we can all agree Dean Forrester sucks. To be continued.

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