#potatoes have poison

[andy-clutterbuck]

#*Elena Fisher voice* Okay cowboy #Rick Grimes #* #rg #one day your lips will not make me want to bust through a wall like the koolaid man #excuse me but The Nose™ #i don't remember what i was even trying to do when i made this instead??? #me @ me: 🔇 #man: *drinking whiskey* me: 👀👀👀👀 #no idea why #i do it with john wick too #rick with beer is also good but that hits different more domestic somehow #rick the gov could have poisoned that tho my dude #two guys walked into a bar and rick grimes killed them both #my babe Hot Suburban Dad At the Barbecue in the last gif #100% guaranteed to make you spill the potato salad when he strolls in #im going to blame all the allergy meds for the current state of my mind ok

[withywhump]

Scissor Seven ~ Season 3 Episode 8

#whump #anime whump #donghua whump #scissor seven #stabbed #poisoned #blood #coughing up blood #s3e8 #sorry for potato quality #i have no energy lol #flashing tw #hair down seven #hello sir

[ask-thearchivists]

*speaking like smeagol and walking like smeagol*

Masters have returned yes yeeess...!

Oh feed us they will? yeeeessss...!

Tell us precious, is it sweet? Is it tastyyy? Is it deliciousssss?

(xD)

The Cartographer: Oh stars, what's wrong with them?

The Curator: Some of them get like this when they're hungry.

#ask blog #ask the archivists #asks are open #the owl house #toh #id in alt text #toh the archivists #the archivists #toh oc #going to die from boredom because of the food I have to eat to recover from food poisoning #please all I want on this earth is meat vegetables #the ability to put GRAVY on my MASHED POTATOES

[flowersize]

day nine: campfire @mobtober2022

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #hanazawa teruki #suzuki shou #serizawa katsuya #reigen realized three of his espers have never been on a good ol' fashion camping trip in the mountains #shigeo and ritsu are chillin in the tent bc at home they are always the Little Camp Helpers and with shou and teru here #now they don't have to be. they get to experience the full peaceful laze of relaxing til food is done while their friends #develop healthy relationships with adults :^) #I DO THINK IT WOULD BE FUNNY IF #Reigen hasn't gone camping since he himself was a kid #and Serizawa when he said he hasn't gone camping he actually meant In Adulthood. he too had gone at least once as a child #but they had both been around 10 years old #so in fact Ritsu and Mob have THE MOST camping experience and the most recent camping experience out of all of Spirits and Such. #also reigen gets poison ivy by the end of the trip sorry i don't make the rules #i also need everyone to know shou takes a whole bite out of that raw sweet potato and he eats it and it is a moment of #friendship and connection. he and teru now have an unspeakable bond of ''this guy will do anything huh'' and they are best friends after #ok bye

[robinruns]

Thanks to stupid fucking Letterkenny and Shoresy, aka two of the greatest gifts Canada has ever bestowed upon the world, I think I'd like to start caring about hockey, but I don't know what team. I REFUSE to root for a Chicago team so don't even bring up the Blackhawks. I don't think I can support a hockey team that's based in a location that doesn't actually get cold enough to have ice form naturally so all southern teams are out. I believe the New Jersey Devils have had some sort of association with MCR in the past, correct? I guess I'm leaning toward them then, unless someone has arguments one way or another toward a different team. I am open to like any Canadian team too, since Canadian TV got me to this point.

#wisconsin needs a pro hockey team #why does florida have like multiple when it doesnt even fucking snow there #some bullshit #anyway #go brewers #go packers #go bucks #go badgers #if we had a hockey team i feel like it would have to start with a p #so that the packers dont feel left out because everyone else has a b name #green bay... pioneers #no wait #that was my college mascot and it was dumb #green bay... predators? potatoes? party poison?

[scribbling-dragon]

sometimes I think about my years as a scout. and then wonder how im still alive/sane

#WHEN DID I WRITE THIS??? HELLO?? #i have no memory of doing this but my drafts were empty last week???? #we did a competition camp and we burned everything. set baked beans on fire set a tub of butter on fire #i ate a basically raw sweet potato because we were tired of waiting for it to cook more #someone in my troopgot paid 20p to drink a concotion of out of date juice dirt water and stick pieces (he did it) #i sat and read a warrior cats book in the shared tent while my friends pretended to have gay sex next to me #(i say pretend because they were still fully clothed #that was just one camp #and then at the scout hut we had a box of expired foods that wed occasionally go thru #and my sister got tricked into eating a green marshmallow and got food poisoning #(i didnt eat it bc i was suspicious of why they were giving out free food) #i had a knife thrown at me multiple times. most notable being when someone (weird drink guy) thought i was tryna steal his chair #we werent allowed pocketknives at camp after that #one of the leaders hated me. told me i looked miserable all the time and didnt like that i was vegetarian #but its fine bc he was a dick. made us clean his car okce because it was a “learning experience” #my parents paid for me to go to scouts #i talk to none of the people from there anymore #oh and the majority of the boys had a weird obsession with my sister. and would ask me how to talk to her #i think it really shaped me as a person tbh

[deus-ex-mona]

when the plot developments hit just ✨wrong✨

#can’t believe the 2k24 plot has progressed to the point where the weekend has ended… s i g h #i don’t want the weekend to eeeeeeeeeenddddddddd #wasted yet another weekend reading a facepalm-worthy manhwa. i want my weekend back </3 #m an. the main plot point of that manhwa was just the entitled af sister poisoning everyone and evading consequences until the end #seriouslyyyyyyy first she poisoned the fl，then she tried to poison the fl’s husband (who was also her lover) #then she poisoned herself to bid farewell to her affair child. and th e n she poisoned her dad too bc he said no to her marrying the emperor #and *then* she poisoned the emperor himself with potato sprouts while trying to poison the fl *again* #and t h e n she was roped into a cheap plot to off the emperor by stabbing him with a poisoned needle by a (very meta tbh) guy #i mean. guy handed her the needle and was like ‘ok do what you’ve always been doing and poison the emperor for me.’ and she went ‘ok’ #and they had the 2 most pointless brother characters i’ve ever seen. #first bro was some 15 y.o. affair child bro of the fl’s first husband who p much just existed to inherit the husband’s estate #and the second bro was the affair child bro of the emperor: a perfectly nice young man who was unfairly hated by said emperor #and. like. l o l. the 2 pointless bros were like the only likeable characters in the entire story and they barely appeared in it #the first husband had every single possible undesirable trait a man could have rolled up into a single guy #and the emperor had a wafer-thin backbone and a mad case of babyface. like. the 15 year old boy looked older than him h e y #and the fl was somehow both a skilled opportunist and a master of missing opportunities at the same time #and man. the fl had just a single (1) maid who looked like tomoya enstrs (but with a bob cut) #i don’t even remember the maid’s name; i just called her ‘bob tomoya’. sorry for the slander tomochin you’re a cool dude #i’ve never seen a main cast as unlikeable as this one lmao. i mean. at least the [redacted] anime had juri #the plot was a pointless mess in general too. it went from 100 to 10000 in no time flat for no reason at all #it kinda felt like they were just throwing plot twists for the sake of throwing plot twists #and ofc the fl successfully resolved every problem that came her way bc o f c she did. flashtag girlboss and all ig #but the best part of it all (imo) was the improperly placed jewellery assets. they aren’t even angled consistently across progressive panels #they aren’t even shaded either. just plopped on there. it really takes you out of the setting esp if it’s during a serious scene #i liked how i kept getting an ad about cheating in marriages while reading it though. it really added to the experience #i’d rate that series a 2/10: needs more assets and half brothers #time to find a new overy melodramatic telenovella-esque series to binge next weekend ig… last week’s was better thoughhhh #at least that one had the villainess experience her downfall as consequences of her own actions and it was quite satisfying ngl #hm. ​i think i need a new hobby. before the word ‘villainess’ becomes a permanent part of my vocabulary

[the-heaminator]

From what I remember:

Poisonous: foxglove, nightshade, devil's trumpet, moonflower, oleander (iirc moreso the sap than the actual flower but I could be wrong), lily of the valley (fun fact it was even used to poison someone in one of my favourite mangas), wisteria (the seeds, but the flowers can be poisonous in large amounts), daffodil, buttercups (mostly I hear about horses being poisoned, elderberries

Not poisonous: elder berries, as long as they're cooked and strained.

Not sure about iris, and not sure what you ate, but a few of these are okay-ish in small doses (maybe headache, pain, etc but otherwise okay), but you might want to see if you have superpowers.

ESCUSE ME ALL THAT SHIT WAS POISONOUS?????

I've so far eaten oleander, daffodils, buttercup wisteria and fox glove???

How the fuck am I not dead yet, I feel like my friends have been trying to kill me or I have a far too high poison tolerance.

Like I actually like daffodils they're very moist and crunchy, bit bitterbut goodwith salt, and they're fucken poisonous???

I sound like a horse but they ddoacc taste good and I do think the foxglove made me feel kinda dizzy but in the too much coffee way and not the oh shit I'm boutta die way.

And I never knew raw elderberries are. poisonous i just eat them when I find them and nothings ever happened.

Can someone pls confirm bc this is weird.

#The heam speaks #Ask answered #Either I have a gut of steel or all the shit I've put I my body has made me build up a tolerance #This is coming from the person who ate two.raw potatoes yesterday so it might be the latter #Why do I have the urge to eat flowers that's not normal #And I dont think I have superpowers other. than the ability to bot die eating various poisonous flowers #Hmmm #BIOLOGY #I'll research a bunch if poisons and will be back

[reginrokkr]

Wholesome dash? Wholesome dash.

#◟༺✦༻◞ Chaos is hardly different to poison ┊Dash comment.┊ #is it sad that this #is one of the few ways #to get Dain into this #perhaps #but have a smol #he's a trembling smol #because he's being sold #as a potato rice cake 😔 #and he don't wanna #no eating

[squeeze-lemons-in-my-eyes]

Being an adult is shit.

I have food that I know needs eating today. But I don't want to eat it. I want to eat something different. But I don't have the tupperware to put the food that needs eating in the freezer. And I'll be damned if I'm wasting food I have spent time cooking. BUT I DON'T WANT TO EAT IT.

#is there a loophole for this that doesnt involve risking food poisoning #why in the hell do i cook enough to feed a family of eight people and a horse??? #its just me #i simply dont have enough tupperware #i know im just gunna have to eat it #eat it and be miserable #because i actually just want turkey dinosaurs and potatoe smileys

[chemicalarospec]

why is the Poisonous Potato update real and affecting my Minecraft launcher right now on April 5th, four days after April 1st

#i guess i should have realized they would do something in-game and not just upload a video. minecraft devs always do #but why is it still on #minecraft #april fool's day #poisonous potato update #i said this

[genericminecraftpotato]

I've been waiting for this minecraft update for years, so excited they're finally adding it!

#having a potato url will never not be fun #(the april fools update is poisonous potatoes this year btw) #minecraft #april fool's day #po posts

[red-hemlock]

@masquenoire started following you!

"Cicuta Maculata. Water Hemlock. Safe to touch, so long as you're cautious, but the one that helped make this little pretty-... Distinctly not so." The tiny vial of death is held aloft, the contents catching the light and reflecting off her appreciative eye, "It's from the enhanced variant I use for my most powerful of poisons, crossed with Hogweed. Drop it in their eyes, and they'll just about bubble out of their skull."

Her gaze then shifts toward the crime boss, "Make them ingest it? They'll be paralyzed before all the soft inside bits start to burn... Nothing they can do but scream." The vial is placed ever-so carefully on the table, and River grins sunshine-bright.

"So how about it? Sound like a swell Saturday night or what, darling?"

#masquenoire #River: [Zelda CDI Shop-keep VC] “Poisons? Murder? Hookah tobacco? You want it? It's yours my friend... As long as you have enough dollars.” #(Hi hiiiii! =D Thanks for following this murder-potato please collect your bouquet and welcome starter HERE!)

[bukuoshin]

Yes... Yes, eat the potato flakes, wild rat. Fill your belly to the very top with potato flakes. And be sure to bring some to your friends as well.

Yes, but aren't you quite parched now? You should get but a sip of water, my friend. But a sip of water would make you feel soooo nice and full.

#rae rants #we caught the mouse in our kitchen and today a rat shows up at my window. eating potato flakes. #we have dogs who will eat a dead rat so we can't use poison. so they must eat potato flakes.

[mellowwillowy]

"Stop the wedding!!"

So you get to see NRC food fighting RSA in the end lol Yan! NRC vs Yan! RSA x GN Isekai'd Player (Self-aware)

All the people inside the cafeteria turned their attention to you, an isekai'd player.

"(Name)!!" Idia beamed in tears, finally someone saving him! ... wait, someone? Oh no no no no! You are not just 'someone'!! Why did he even bother troubling you to this extent? He should have just kissed the bride!!!

"Make it right in time, you got me, Ace?" "Thank you for kicking me like a barrel toward the ghosts, pal," Ace replied dejectedly but posed no annoyance at all.

"Potato, since when do you have the funds to get yourself such a nice suit?" Vil questioned as he inspected your overall. The makeup and hairdo were not done to the utmost perfection but he can let it slide because anything on you equals absolute beauty.

"Oh, this? So you are smart enough to realize Crowley won't cover MY suit! I mean, he was trying teeth and nails to not let me join Ace and Co!"

"At least he does something right for the first time," Leona added. "White suits you though I thought you'd surely go with Black as usual?" Trey cocked his head to the side questioningly.

"Look, this is what Neige lent me. And all his attires are almost pristine white! I'm telling ya'!" At that statement, you saw Vil twitch despite not being able to move, he must have been very pissed at the mention of Neige's name alone.

"Originally I planned on taking Cheny'a's but I realized how eccentric his taste is so I decided to go with Neige. The RSA students are kind enough to assist Neige in tailoring it to my size too! Got them right in time before Crowley could shoo me!"

"Dude, even the RSA knows how to respect them, I don't know if I should be angry or nah but it certainly leaves a bad aftertaste seeing them wearing what RSA makes for them." Cater whispers something to the person next to him, inaudible to your ears.

"What do you say if we steal the suit and then burn it down in front of them after we are done here? I'd like to give them a nice thank you hug too while we are at it." "And we should leave them some of my... flowers collection too. This alone should be enough to show our gratitude right?"

"I'd say we should try giving them a proper form of token of gratitude too, how about Master Lilia's cooking?" Sebek added with a grin, he had his fair share of Lilia's cooking to the point he'd like to share it with the others.

"Oh? Then I'd have to make sure to add extra 'love' into it." He replied, this time intending to poison people so its horrifying taste was multiplied at natural without him realizing it.

"Wait, why would we even bother giving them a handmade cooki-" Jack was immediately silenced by Cater's eerie smile. He had his fair share and he knew they meant nothing well from it at all.

"Hey Ace, do something! Stop throwing all your work on prefect!" Deuce yelled by the sideline, ready to chew his ears off.

"I agree, you shouldn't let someone magic-less handle this handful situation alone, get a hold of yourself right now will you, Ace?" Azul scowled and started to usher Ace into work.

"Dude! Now all of you are cornering me?" "You haven't finished, Ace?!"

And Riddle's voice was all it took to make Ace cowered like a puppy. Rook shook his head in disappointment, this had taken way longer than the original gameplay.

"Hurry! We should wrap things up as though we are changing a dirty tablecloth into a new one!" Epel yelled out rather... unique lines. Was he trying to be as poetic as Rook? If anything, both Rook and Vil said nothing regarding this.

"Riiiiighhhhtttt, I'm kinda checked out now, to be honest." Idia's eyes immediately widened, not you too?!

Just before the other could chant another "Smooch the bride", you immediately lunged toward the bride. All those gym class training paid off! Basically, this and that until the ghost inflated.

And instead of Rook ordering you and Epel around, you took the steering wheel before anyone could. "Move yer' ass you glorified wood logs! Move move move!"

The lucky person is the person who gets to feel you dragging them. Absolute win!

--

"Urgh, I'm so gonna have phasmophobia now." Idia rolled his eyes as the ghosts departed but to be honest? He was happy to see you barging into the cafeteria like a knight in shining armor for him! (It was mostly the others fighting lol)

Idia was taken by surprise the moment your hand smacked his back. "Would you look at it, the star of the show, a handsome groom adorned in black! You look positively breathtaking, senior Idia."

"Eep-! Oh no, they have graced me with their words that are enough to deafen me! What should I do? How should I show them just how grateful I am to be even considered by them???"

"What did you say? I couldn't hear you really well." "Well, brother said that-" "N-n-no! Nothing! I uh... am thankful... for your assistance." He answered bashfully, his hair tip turned into a shade of pink.

"Now now potato, it's time to change, wearing that must have been uncomfortable right?" Vil immediately pulled you away from the pink introvert. "No...? Neige said that it's meant to be comfortable and it's true!" "Well, we have something even wayyyy more comfortable for you, shrimpy! Come on now, let's take it off and dress you up in something else!"

--

Lilia was leading everyone with a basket of something, a speaker in one hand and Neige's suit in the other hand, "Hey you RSA whippersnappers! Get down!"

The head mage was coincidentally away that day and it allowed the NRC students to lead a protest in front of the academy's gate.

Lilia threw the white suit onto the ground while Leona whistled, signaling Rook to shoot an arrow of fire toward it like an Olympic grand opening. (What a duo.)

"Yeah! Eat this you good for nothing!" Cater and Ruggie immediately took out the pie from Lilia's basket and threw it right onto the students' face. Kalim was generous enough to sponsor lots of baking materials for Lilia with Jamil assisting with the baking. It was badly burnt but still hard as a rock.

Cheny'a was careful enough to avoid Trey and Riddle while Vil was feeling rather generous in feeding Neige~ Oh, and Malleus is always bullseye in his shots, hitting everyone down in no time. He was pretty pissed (sulking) that he was not invited to join your fun. Silver was not being merciful too, he didn't fall asleep at all during this whole thing!.

Rollo was feeling rather grateful but also sad that you did not come to him to ask for his help :( And Crowley just watched everything from the sidelines while praying that nothing bad will be sent to him after this. Well, he's happy with how bright his students are.

#Yandere TWST #Yandere Twisted Wonderland #Yandere Riddle Rosehearts #Yandere Leona Kingscholar #Yandere Azul Ashengrotto #Yandere Kalm Al Asim #Yandere Vil Schoenheit #Yandere Idia Shroud #Yandere Lilia Vanrouge #Yandere Jade Leech #Yandere Floyd Leech #Yandere Jamil Viper #Yandere Rook Hunt #Yandere Epel Felmier #Yandere Malleus Draconia #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #Self Aware TWST #TWST x Reader #x GN Reader #Yandere Trey Clover #Yandere Cater Diamond #Yandere Sebek Zigvolt #Yandere Ruggie Bucchi #Yandere Ace Trappola #Yandere Deuce Spade #Yandere Jack Howl #Yandere Silver TWST #Pls Neige and Cheny'a dying from Lilia's pie #Yandere Dire Crowley

[jelsah27]

A/n- I have been hit with inspiration so I'm about to be like a freaking printer with all these posts. Anyway ON WITH THE SHOW

Sam's store

MC: *buying groceries*

Random Octavinelle student: *bumps MC into the display knocking them and the display in front of them over* Oops

MC: *sitting in the floor in shock covered in various substances*...

ROS: Well since you knocked it over you can pay for it right, no need to get involved? *tries to walk away*

MC: *face switches from shock to anger then settles on a smirk* Boy you chose the wrong day. I can do something that can ruin your whole career.

ROS: Oh yeah? And what would that be?

MC: *says nothing for a moment, but looks up with tears * *sniffles*

Deuce: *pops out of nowhere* HOW DARE YOU HURT MC!!

Ace: *also comes out of nowhere* Yeah! Only WE can ruin their day!

Jack: *stands in between MC and ROS silently flexing*

Floyd: *grabs them from behind* Mah mah, I don't think I gave you permission to be near Shrimpy now did I? *Starts squeezing their shoulder*

Jade: *beside Floyd* No, brother, I don't believe you did. *smiling unnervingly*

Vil: *walks over from behind MC, glaring* Potato, this is unacceptable. Rook *snaps and Rook drops from the ceiling tiles* Take the potato and help them clean up.

Rook: Oui, Roi de Poison! *helps MC up*

MC: *smirks from behind the human wall at ROS but goes back to looking pitiful and a bit reluctant* But I need to get groceries, and... I can't pay for the display but... he did push me-

*green lightning cracks outside*

Rook: *pats MC on the head* No problem, I'm sure Monsieur Sam will take care of it! And I believe the others will take care of the... problem *pulls MC away*

ROS: *gulps as the others close in*

*screams were heard across campus that day*

#twst mc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst imagines #twst shitpost #disney twisted wonderland #ace trappola #deuce spade #twst x reader #twst rook #rook hunt #vil shoenheit #vil #vil schoenheit #twst jack #jack howl #jade leech #twisted wonderland floyd #twst meme #twst malleus #well alluding to Malleus anyway #fake tears