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wolven91 · 9 months

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A Heated Bed - Chapter 1

[Trigger Warning; Dubious Consent. References to Depression / Isolation]

Matt sighed through his nose as he turned off his workstation and glanced up and out of the office window, into the transport sector where he worked on board the spinning station. From here, new arrivals and materials would be shuttled off to wherever they were needed aboard the station itself.

Another day done, just like the hundred that came before it and now he was just going to head home. Without a hint of uncertainty, he knew that his evening would follow the same pattern as all the others. He thought getting a job out in the stars would be exciting! He'd be like Kirk or Mal or something!

But no. He was just a clerk.

He was still just 'Matt' and as it turns out, the rest of the alien folk up here, tend to give humans a wide berth. Thanks to everything that had happened, humans were well known now as the 'rare' ones and had a multitude of rules and regulations surrounding them. The aliens couldn't even get a selfie with a human without some serious thought first thanks to the worry that something in the background would tip off 'would-be' kidnappers. Not only that, but thanks to his inherent 'value', the various governments enforced the requirement that humans scattered themselves out. No one station could have too many humans or they'd become too juicy of a target. The station Matt was on was actually, fairly 'near' to the Sol system, at least on a galactic scale. He was on the 'southern' most edge of Galactic Community territory.

So here Matt stood on his own, completely ignored. Oh sure, everyone apparently loved humans, but right now? Nobody wanted to get too close in case they got into trouble by overstepping some hastily thrown together rule with little to no thought behind it. It seemed no-one really knew what to actually do about humans, so ignoring them was the safest choice and the administration would deal with whatever issue popped up.

Matt considered that it had been just short of four months since he'd last stood on a planet as he leant against one of the railings exiting the office in which he worked. He was in no rush, so stopped to watch the 'world' go by. Despite him being high up, it was louder out here, claxons and alarms whooped and alerted staff of moving machinery in the distance. The transport sector of the station was a huge, cavernous and very busy space, it could have fit the statue of liberty and the torch would barely scratch the roof. As it was, most of the walls were dominated by airlocks and maintenance bays, pulling ships in to be disembarked or their payloads removed within the safety of the station, but the centre of the zone was administration and various storage bays for materials.

Far above, tram stations ferried passengers at high speeds around the circular station, disappearing into the massive bulkhead walls that separated the sectors. One such tram silently whizzed past as some of Matt's colleagues exited the office space and headed towards the lift.

"Did you hear?" Matt overheard as they walked past.

"There's a new species joining the station! They just arrived, let's get down there quickly!" Burbled a sluggat, while the young male taurian trotted along beside them.

"They're not new, they just didn't leave their territory very often until now. It's like someone lit a fire under every single one of them or something?" The youngster said. The taurians were an odd bunch, the males seemed to gracefully glide along despite having hooves beneath the flowing silk dress.

What they were discussing however, perked the human's curiosity. The various races that he'd seen so far were all as unique as they could possibly be and aside from sharing the odd trait, most were a sight to behold when they first arrived. It was jarring to the human mind to see an alien; to understand and know that they were conscious behind the eyes and not human at all. Matt wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, but he tried to take the many eccentricities of the various races in stride.

Walking to the lifts that would take him down to the station foyer, he found that seemingly everyone had the same idea. But at the sight of the walking bad luck charm that was Matt, the being closest to the lift's buttons started 'subtly' hitting it rapidly.

"Oh no, the doors are closing I don't understand what's happ-" The closed doors cut it off. Matt frowned but he wasn't surprised. They were as subtle as a brick through a plate glass window.

By the time Matt made it down to the new arrivals building, he had long since lost his passion for seeing the new race and was wondering why he was even still heading in this direction. He walked over to the main balcony and looked over to the entrance to the station from the docks and saw the usual traffic one expected, not the heaving mass of new arrivals.

He sighed and leaned down to rest his chin on the side of his fist that rested against the rail in dejection. He didn't really feel sad anymore, he just wanted to talk with someone... no... not even that... just to feel physical touch again, that would be enough. He closed his eyes and made a hopeless wish.

"Excuse me." Said a calm, smooth voice from behind and above him.

He flinched, clanking his head off the higher railings that protected the taller races from falling and straightened up to turn around, rubbing his head. He hadn't heard anyone approach; ssypno slither, taurians clop and ursidians shake the ground, who could sneak up on him so well?

Turning around he was left staring at the fluffy midriff of an alien, so he tilted his head back and kept tilting.

Eventually making eye contact with the owner of said midriff, it had heavily lidded, bright green eyes that regarded him in an aloof manner and yet there was a vague interest there, like it had seen him from a favoured seat and couldn't decide whether to get up to come to him or remain seated.

She, he assumed based on her rich voice, was tall, at least eight feet and wider than himself as well. The thick long fur that covered her from the top of her pointed ears to the tips of her large paws reminded him of a snow leopard. She sported greys, blacks and whites, giving her a very unique appearance. The other aspect he saw was that she was muscled; this couldn't be someone who did nothing all day, this was a dangerous person even without the obsidian claws that protruded slightly from the tips of her hands and feet. One of said paws with tapping the claw against her chin as she considered him.

"Er, hello? Are you one of the new arrivals?" Matt asked, aware he'd never seen one of these things before.

"Mm, yes... Hold still please." She said absently, not ignoring him, but like she was thinking about something more important while interacting with him. She stepped forward, closer to him, crowding him, it was a far cry from his usual environment of having an oasis of space in the crowds, he stood his ground. A strong arm reached out and, nearly touched his face, but paused a hair's breadth away, she smelt of something like citrus.

"Are you an ill taurian?" her cool voice asked, hand still somewhat hovering close by. Matt could feel the tiny hairs on his skin sensing her proximity.

"Ah, no. I'm a human, I'm afraid this is normal."

"Good." She decided cryptically before turning and stalking away, a long thick tail trailing behind, briefly brushing under Matt's chin before leaving the human confused, bemused and alone once more.

=== 0 ===

Sometime later it was late, and Matt found himself back in the residential district and on his floor, nearing his room. His quarters were sequestered away from others, practically having an entire habitation block to himself. Once more, it was easier to just isolate the vulnerable human than have him potentially interact with others.

His interaction with the new alien however was replaying in his mind. It was one of the longest conversations he had had in over a month. He was disturbed however, as ever since that interaction, he had a vague sense of being watched or followed. Turning and looking over his shoulders, each time resulted in empty hallways and nothing out of the ordinary. Did he want to see her again? Did he want more than to 'just' see her?

"Yeah.." He vocally admitted glumly with a hint of guilt to himself.

He chalked the 'being followed' feeling up to his mind wanting to see someone, his brain had a brief taste of the 'good life' and now cried out for more. He got to his door and placing his forehead against it, unlocked it. He straightened up, smelt citrus again and opened the door with a confused expression as he wondered the scent.

"This will do." Said a familiar voice both behind and above him. Strong paw-like hands grasped his waist, effortlessly picked him up and, bodily turning him, he was pressed against the strange alien's wide hip as she ducked her head through his front door gracefully and entered his abode with him under her arm.

"W-what are you doing?!" Matt exclaimed, stunned into compliance, not considering that he should maybe flail about or resist in some fashion. He was stunned into limply going along with the strangeness of the situation. Was this a kidnapper!? Is this how it all worked!? Nobody had actually explained it all, they just said 'kidnappers'!

She, again, whilst responding to him, was focused on looking around his modest albeit basic home and stalking further in.

"There are no sunbeams on this station, and it is cold. You will assist, I am adopting you." She said as a matter of fact as she moved into his bedroom, her movements were so graceful that despite him being held horizontally against her hip, he wasn't jostled or shaken with her footsteps as she moved.

Walking up to his bed, rather than move around it, she merely took a step up onto it, walking into the centre before turning in place. The whole thing groaned under her and his weight. Next, she released him without warning, so he fell the short distance and bounced one, then twice onto his back with the fall. He blinked, still utterly shocked into confused stillness.

"Hmm, you're clumsy then. That is fine, I will work with you." She said while staring down at him from her seemingly mile up vantage point. From his perspective, her legs went on forever. Her arctic colourings were emphasized, but it was how she was looking AT him that caught his breath. She wasn't avoiding him, she wasn't ignoring him or even treating him like he was made from thin porcelain. He was the sole subject of her attention, she wanted to give him her attention and he had no clue what to do.

Before he could react further, she folded herself down onto his mattress and duvet. Laying on her side she effortlessly grabbed a hold of his hips and drew him into herself with one solid pull whilst he uttered a single squeak in surprise. Her strength moved him without so much as a grunt of effort by her.

He struggled for a moment, but the arm he was now laying on, curled around, bicep flexing against his cheek and held his opposite shoulder, the other arm draped over him and held against his chest, gently running fingers up and along his jawline, soothingly. A long fluffy leg entwined itself around his own and she curled in on herself, forcing him deeper into her 'hug'. The very thick and fluffy tail made a reappearance and settled, draped across him... almost protectively? He continued to try and half-heartedly pull away, but despite the strangeness; he was secretly... shamefully... enjoying it. Despite his wiggling, none of his actions could have actually broken her hold...

Tiring himself out however, he eventually recognised that he could feel the soft, thick pelt fully covering and pressing into his back and sides with ease, his head was tucked under her chin still resting against her arm while her chest fur framed his world with the ends of her pelt, surrounding his vision. He was warm, for the very first time in a long time, he was deliciously warm. The interloper was right, the station was cold, he'd just gotten used to it.

Laying still, whilst confused, and bewildered, he had to admit it was quite pleasant being held so firmly and protectively as a 'little spoon'. When the rumbling purr started behind his head and chest, it rolled through him like an old-fashioned massage chair. It was soothing and she offered no other words or statements as they settled. Catching his breath, the rhythmic rumbling gently unravelled the tensions that had built up in his back and neck. It was a few minutes later that he flinched awake, realising he was dropping off and he realised that this was completely mental!

She couldn't just 'adopt' him, right!? This was technically his home! It was the other way around, surely!

He took in a breath to start shouting, but the coiling loneliness inside his chest had him pause. It gripped at his heart, inspiring fear. Whilst his mind happily supplied the idea that protesting might ruin a good thing. It was an alien, right? A new one? Maybe they didn't understand this wasn't normal? Sluggats are strictly opposed to physical contact, even offering a handshake is tantamount to threatening one's life, so maybe she was just unaware?

Stifling a yarn, he came to the decision that he would have words with her in the morning. He could share his home for a weary traveller this once. She may be rude, but he'd be polite...

...yeah... that was it...

=== 0 ===

Many hours later, Matt had no desire to wake up.

He felt warm and calm, the bliss of a rare full night's sleep undisturbed was not something he had any desire in leaving any time soon. As his mind came back to the waking world however, he understood that he was laid on his front.

Matt smiled as he realised, he didn't need to go to work, it was the weekend. He couldn't recall any other pressing matters that needed his attention either. He was safe to relax and take things slow today, no need to leave such a comfy bed.

He rolled his shoulders to prepare to stretch when he noticed that his movement was severely limited.

In fact, he could barely move at all; something rather large and heavy was weighing down on him across every inch of his body and limbs. He could breathe, but it was like having several weighted blankets on top of him.

Opening his eyes, the first thing Matt took notice of was that he was pressed deeply into the mattress. He could see a curtain of grey and white fur bordering his vision from whatever was limply placed on his back. He was essentially spread eagle on top of the covers, but every inch of him was covered by something warm and soft. He moved his arm, sliding it across the bed and out from beneath the foreign arm that had been placed on top of his own, the larger of the two thudded against the mattress with the sudden loss of his limb beneath it.

A stirring from above and a low grumble, rumbled through his spine as whatever, or more to the point, whoever it was, woke up apparently due to him moving his arm so suddenly. The other occupant of the bed reached out to his hand, pushed their leather pad clad fingers through the spaces between his own fingers and gripped his hand, holding it still with a strength that prevented any more use of the limb. The worrying part was that the arm and hand weren't tense at all but held a strength that dwarfed the human's. The interloper's hand was nearly double the size of his, he could feel the pads warming the back of his palm. They were soft and almost hot to the touch.

Matt blinked in utter confusion as he tried to remember what was going on. After taking some time to calm himself and figure things out, he realised that the strange dream he had last night, was not a dream after all. The giant cat-like alien that had joined the station yesterday, had followed him home, physically picked him up, barged into his home and declared that she had 'adopted' him. Regardless of how well he had slept after so long buried beneath her, or how soft and warm her fur was, this was beyond what he could accept as proper behaviour. He needed to give her a stern talking to.

"Umph.." He started, catching a mouthful of fur and duvet, forcing him into shaking his head to clear it.

"Er... excuse me? Hello?" He stated in as demanding a tone as he could, bearing in mind he was still buried underneath the one he was trying to address, which undercut his authority somewhat. He didn't get a response, so he cleared his throat and again, he also tried to buck his hips, moving the body above him, but only barely as she was still a dead weight from above, her hips merely fell back down on him from behind.

"Excuse me!"

A groan was spoken directly into his ear.

"Mm. Go back to sleep. It's too early, little one." A drowsy voice spoke out, before the head on top of his lifted and he felt a broad, wet, and rough tongue lick the hair on the back of his head twice, before the weight returned and it pressed him back down into the mattress.

"What.. hey! No! Don't go back to sleep! What's going on here!" He exclaimed, again, trying to wiggle as much as he could with his limited movement, he had to get her awake and moving! In the end it appeared as if he was recreating 'the worm', the now long-lost dance move of the now destroyed Earth.

A deep and dramatic sigh of someone extremely displeased was given in response, before her almost 'noble' voice came back, far less sleepy this time.

"What is it? This is far too early 'human'." She asked from behind his ear.

"Who are you? Why are you in bed? What's going on?!" He asked in a tirade of questions that tumbled out from him.

Another exasperated sigh came from the creature, before her hands released his, she curled her arms around his chest, a leg looped behind his knee and she rolled in one movement, so she was on her back, her head against his pillows and he was dragged along for the ride. He ended up facing upwards, being held against her body with her underneath his back. A clawed hand snagged the duvet and pulled it over both of them, leaving the top of the thick cover, underneath Matt's chin. The hand landed on his head and began to draw a set of claws gently through his hair, ever so slightly scratching at his scalp.

Overall, it felt quite pleasant, the low rumbling purr returned as it rolled over his body. At least she was awake, so far, his attempt to establish dominance over the situation was going well.

"I am Her Highness Varuna; you may call me 'your majesty'. We are here because we were both tired and due sleep, we are still tired I will remind you. As for what's going on, I am being rudely awakened and you are asking questions."

"I meant... highness? No, I meant why are you in my home? What did you mean by 'adopting' me?"

A rumble.

"Ah, you were able to provide appropriate warmth and I am adopting you because you do not currently live with another felinoid. Now my turn my human. What is your name and how many humans are there on this station?"

Matt's eyes briefly rolled up in his head as she continued to run her fingers through his hair, scratching and clawing at his scalp. She would draw her hand through one way, then brush back with the curve of her claws, rather than the points. Goosebumps crawled up and down his arms. He supressed a shiver, but she still gave a single mirthful 'humph' as his body quivered.

"I'm Matt... and none. Just me."

A dissatisfied huff came from above as her hand stopped to grip his head in her oversized paws gently.

"Urgh.. There is not enough. The rumours that you humans were rare has been understated. This is both good and bad it seems. You humans are perfect, and I do not wish to share." She growled to herself, before she relaxed and continued her attention.

"Share? Like with the rest of your kind? I thought you were a queen or highness or something?" Matt asked confused as to why someone of her position would be in his room and would even need to consider 'sharing' whatever that meant.

"A-a-and you can't just 'share' me! What if I don't consent? I-I-I could have you kicked off the station for breaking into my home!"

She sighed, a brushed the back of her furred fingers against his cheek.

"I am sorry if I have offended, if I have distressed or hurt... I apologise..."

"It's fine." Matt parroted automatically before admonishing himself. He was meant to be angry! He was supposed to be angry! As a severe introvert though... even back on Earth he had been adopted by those who were more outgoing than him.

"I have no interest in upsetting you, but my kind are very interested in your kind. You are supremely unique, and we are a race of those who seek out the unique."

"W-what do you mean? Am I being kidnapped?"

A flinch from below.

"No! Bleck! Not at all, freedom is above all things! Freedom of the self, freedom of the choice, freedom is ultimate and the only thing that must be demanded." She stated firmly seemingly repeating a mantra or oath. She pulled away from him for the first time to raise a single digit upwards to emphasise her points.

"If you... choose... not to have us around, then we will not be around. Our people... our... society... is about enjoying oneself, I believe 'hedonistic' might be the correct word, but poorly explains it. We no longer must toil, so why should we? If you want to; go, work and earn. If you don't? Relax and work on yourself. Freedom, above all."

"So.. where do I come in? How am I to be 'shared', this is what I'm confused about."

"Alongside Freedom, is experiences, the truly desired 'unbuyable' thing." To punctuate her next sentence, she started by tapping his nose with a soft leather pad on the end of her finger. "Humanity is new and rare. We sought you out to experience you. I would have settled for sight and smell, but then you spoke with me rather than ignore. You did not stop me when I reached out to touch you. Even last night, your home was easy to find as it smelt of you, so I waited. You did not protest my entry until we were already settled and even then... you did not say 'no'."

A joyful 'hm' came from behind his head.

"Your actions were half-hearted, so I believe you enjoyed last night. Am I wrong?"

"No..." Matt tilted his head in reluctant agreement, but that was pushing it to say the least. He'd need to teach them the do's and don'ts before they got into trouble. Still, he'd rather have a bit more control over his life than being 'told' what he was going to do.

"But! You can't just barge into someone's house and expect to be welcomed in, arms wide! This is weird!"

"You don't like this?" She asked, hurt bleeding into her tone and her hand moved away in hesitation, holding away from him as if to release him. The loneliness returned with a writhing behind his ribs, it felt like a snake retreating backwards, towards her.

"It's not... it's not that it doesn't feel good, but you have to.. to.. introduce yourself or something? Be invited in."

She was quiet for a time, her hand clasped his head again, but didn't move now, but it warmed his exposed flesh pleasantly.

"Strange, no wonder we kept to our own for so long. We expected to be welcomed and praised, but the reception so far has been.. underwhelming. I suppose I could lower my expectations... 'Slum it' if you will? Would you be able to teach me the social graces of your world?"

"Social g like you don't know how to interact like the rest of them? I mean, I'm still learning myself, but I guess I could?"

"Matt, was it? May I start again?"

"..sure?"

"Good morning warm human." She began, a jovial tone now adorning her voice, Matt couldn't help but snort and grin as he remained laying on top of her, chuckling against her.

"Good morning crazy cat lady. How are you?" he responded, playing the part.

"I am well! May we share heat, it is cold, and you are very warm?" She asked, starting her purring once again beneath him.

Matt rolled his eyes and relaxed somewhat. She seemed to mean well, if not a bit ditzy, not to mention she was quite one track minded.

It was going to be an 'interesting' few weeks attempting to educate his new 'student'.

=== 0 ===

"My name is Ruby." The felinoid answered him later on as he cooked.

Matt frowned as he leant over the stove, finishing up at getting the 'bacon' as crispy as he could. How he had ended up on cooking duty after being the 'bed' as well, he wasn't sure; but the large cat creature currently picking through his apartment behind him had wrangled this somehow. Still, he was glad to find that whilst pigs did not survive earth, there was something called a 'squidgit' that if their meat was prepared correctly, tasted very similar. Apparently, you could cook them every which way and they tasted different each time.

He scraped the 'bacon' strips onto a plate, next to the scrambled eggs on both plates. He had no idea where the eggs came from, however.

He looked behind him to see the green eyes with the black slits in the middle staring back at him. She had seated herself in the middle of his sofa with one leg crossed over the other, she rested her hands, fingers interlaced, in her lap.

"I like your eyes by the way..." He blurted out without thinking.

"Mm, thank you. I had them changed a few years ago, I got bored with my natural yellow colour."

"Changed?"

"Freedom, my dear Matt, freedom in everything. We felinoids will often change our appearance. Quite dramatically I will add. Our kind are adept at appearance adjustments."

With a nod and quick, nervous smile, he walked over and offered the plate. It wobbled slightly due to his nerves. He wasn't used to being under such scrutiny after months of being ostracised by the rest of the aliens aboard. Why did he care so much as to what this alien thought of him? He couldn't be smitten or anything, she was an alien. She accepted the plate with one hand, with an ever so slight smirk, tugging at the edge of her lips.

"Cutlery." Matt reminded himself, turning and moving back to the kitchen to retrieve somewhat clean utensils from the sink. He gave them a rapid but thorough wash and dried them in short order. When he moved back to the sofa with a knife and fork in hand, an empty plate was being held out for him to retrieved back.

His mind was confused for a moment; he'd given her a plate of food. Right? Had she'd just tipped the whole damn plate down her gullet?

"I should thank you, shouldn't I?" The artic felinoid stated, blinking slowly. "I'm very grateful, that breakfast was delicious." She finished as he plucked the empty, greasy plate from her hand.

"I-... sure, no worries?" He returned to the small kitchenette and retrieved his own plate. Whilst she claimed not to no what manners to employ, he hadn't actually 'taught' her anything yet, but she was now seemingly acutely aware of what social expectations were placed upon her.

Matt moved to sit down and considered that the last twelve hours had been very strange, he'd gone from pariah to the sole focus of an overbearing, but seemingly harmless 'felinoid'. They had been apparently part of The Galactic Community for hundreds of years like everyone else, but had kept mostly to themselves, until now of course. Ever since Humans appeared Walking back to the sofa, he took note of her white and grey fur; she looked exactly like one of the old snow leopards of earth, all the way down to the spots and thick fluffy tail and oversized paws. Her size was something of note, easily larger than him, her ears brushed the ceiling when she stood up straight.

Her strength was also of note, she was not slim. Her arms, whilst covered in a long thick pelt, that Matt knew was also incredibly soft thanks to last night, barely hid the bulging muscles beneath. She proved she had no issue picking up and carrying him like he weighed nothing.

When he stood next to the sofa, he realised that there simply wasn't any space for him to sit on the cushions of the seat. The size of her hips took up much of the space of his rather crappy, standard issue sofa and to try and sit down would have him perched half on top of her. With a shrug, he chose instead to perch on the sofa's arm.

Ruby, however, had different ideas.

Before he could perch and start on his light breakfast, a grey furred arm and dinner plate sized hand wrapped around his sternum.

"Wait! Wait, wait, wai-" He cried out, trying to prevent his breakfast from spilling as he was dragged from the arm, and into the centre of the sofa onto the larger creature's lap. Thankfully, he hadn't spilt anything.

"That was dangerous, I could have spilled!" He complained as he attempted to disengage, but with an arm locked around his waist, he found the act impossible while holding a plate with both hands, so he reached down with one. When a clawed hand plucked a strip of bacon from his plate, his priority changed immediately.

He lost one piece but defended the others by starting into his breakfast with no further delay. The large feline sat beneath and behind him chewed the stolen bacon slowly as she held onto him carefully. It was only once he started to relax that he noticed she was purring again.

"So, we have a problem that will need to be addressed today." Ruby stated calmly whilst Matt's mouth was full. It didn't stop him from 'mm'ing as a wordless question.

"Not with your mouth full, little one. But yes, my dema- err.. Request? Yes, my request from yesterday remains quite important. My people will begin spreading out amongst the stars. They will want to meet you humans, but... like myself... will not know your... er... protocol?" A hand landed on the top of his head and a set of claws poked through his hair. She started talking again as Matt swallowed the last of his eggs and settled into having the back of his head scratched.

"We wish to make the best first impression and avoid upsetting your kind. We can compensate you and others if you agree to assist us in learning your ways. I wish to 'employ' you as a cultural guide? Would you like to come with me when I leave here?" She asked gently while still steadily scratching at him. He leaned forwards to put the plate down and was gently pulled back onto her whilst she laid back, horizontally across the sofa, taking him with her. She released her claws from his hair and instead hugged him from behind as if he were a cushion or favoured teddy.

The way he sank into her fluff, how he felt it cover his ears from behind and tickle his cheeks. It was incredibly pleasant and relaxing. He considered her words.

Did he want to just end his life here? To leave everything behind? What of his colleagues? Friends on the station? All for some random personal-space ignorant, socially inept space cats?

=== 0 ===

Half an hour later, Matt had his bags packed. Or rather; bag. Singular. He had little he needed to bring aside from a few sets of clothes and some mementos of sentiment. He had no friends on the station, he had a contact which treated him like a house plant rather than a person. His choice was made purely on the fact that his depression and apathy had been lifted all in one evening and he was petrified of it returning.

Was this a good idea? Probably not. Was it healthy? Also no. But he didn't have a good answer and he had nothing else to lose. His planet was dead, his people were scattered, and he was working a crappy job that a computer could do just to save up money to buy things for his domicile.

When Matt stepped out of his bedroom, Ruby was leaning against the front door with a foot raised against it and her arms crossed over her chest. She grinned like the cat that caught the canary.

"You're helping many of my kind, you know? Is noble."

"Let's not pretend I'm saving lives here, I'm a glorified heating mat." Matt said, stopping in front of the alien. She looked genuinely shocked, leaning down and lifting his chin with a finger.

"You are very important Matt; I am not ignorant to how you were when I met you. Alone and distant from the others? I am not blind to the lack of pictures of friends on this station in your home. The only ones you had, were in your bedroom and seem to be of family. Your journey to this apartment was one of an outcast." She pushed off the door and stepped close to him again, looking down at him with a firm expression that left Matt guessing what she might have been thinking.

"You have natural abilities and skills that somewhere else would be valuable. Here, you are out of step with your surroundings and seemingly... Left questioning your value, wrongly." She shook her head with a pitying look to her eye, yet her words were firm. She believed what she was saying.

She reached out, placed her long arms over his shoulders and pulled his back towards her. She gripped him against herself and held him there.

At first, he didn't understand what she was doing, again, her odd actions caused a jarring to his expectations. The outside world, however, was lost to him for a time, the fur of her torso muffled the air circulation humming and was replaced by the sound of her heart beating and her lungs breathing in and out steadily.

The lonely man's arms gingerly reached up and around the felinoid' s body, and he hugged her back for the first time. It was the first time he'd held someone away from Earth. It actually physically hurt his chest to apparently reconnect with someone, to consider reopening himself after protecting himself from isolation. After so long as being held at arm's length by others, he wanted to latch onto her like a lifeline.

He gripped at the fur at her back and breathed into the fluff that pressed into his face. Ruby placed one of her hands at the back of his head and stood there, she would not rush him nor prompt him to move. She was patient, she could wait for him until he was ready. It would be his choice, his freedom to do so. To her and her find, freedom was as vital as air and this human was not 'free' here on this station.

It was only a short hour later when Matt finally boarded the felinoid ship as it prepared to leave in search for more elusive humans.

They had barely been checked, the station administration seemingly rushing through Matt's paperwork. Matt had been pulled aside and been asked if he was being coerced, but in the end the administer let slip that he was glad Matt was leaving. He was too dangerous in the administrator's opinion. Matt had thought that there would be more effort in a supposed long-term resident demanding to leave, but it seemed his request to leave was received with gratitude and relief instead.

He felt like he should be betrayed, but he had to admit that he also felt relief and gratitude right back at them for being able to leave with such ease.

Whether The Galactic Community was informed of his change of location Matt didn't know, the ship was tracked and he would be met at the next station to ensure his safety in the void, but when he put his bag down and looked up, he found himself looking at a team of felinoids who, whilst were wildly different in appearance, each had a rapturous grin, one or two waved at him.

Suddenly his vision was blocked by the furred back of a snow leopard, Ruby.

Her tail flicked rapidly from one side to another, was she agitated?

"We have gained an ally. However, we must; be polite." Ruby stated clearly and definitively. She remained in front of Matt, until the group stalked away. Ruby turned back to Matt and picked up his bag with ease.

"They will need teaching but are harmless. You will need to be a teacher before we arrive at our next destination, I hope you are ready."

Matt watched as the group disappeared around a corner and the last tail trailed behind.

In all honesty, after spending multiple moths just pressing buttons on a computer, the human was ready for a new challenge.

=== 0 ===

Unfortunately, the new challenge began that evening.

The engines were probably several hundred meters away and behind many bulkheads, but the human could hear them, and Matt lay awake in his bed. It wasn't really the humming of the engines that was keeping the human awake, however.

The creeping doubt that plagued every decision in the dead of night had made itself known to him by 'midnight' aboard the felinoid ship. It was a frigate it seemed and just one of a small group of ships that travelled together.

His bedding was tangled around him as he stared up at the distant ceiling. He'd thrown his lot in with this new species while knowing precious little about them. God, why had he been so stupid?!

Was his life aboard the station been so bad that at the first offer from a complete and utter stranger of another possibility, he'd just jumped with both feet?!

He had to admit he wasn't happy aboard the station. His conscious mind agreed that he couldn't have stayed there much longer without him going crazy or doing something stupid. But no number of antidepressants would alleviate the crushing loneliness of being avoided by everyone else. Christ, they didn't even have antidepressants that were designed for humans up in the stars.

Sure, tell someone a drug's name; the materials might not even exist outside of Earth, let along share the same name.

But his subconscious continued to jab and peck at his choices. They didn't care about him. They just wanted to use him.

That's why he was given his own room alone. Alone again. He'd had one night of glorious sleep and now he couldn't pass out on his own.

Matt rubbed his face and let out a growl in frustration. He could argue the toss with himself all night but there was no way to prove that these giant bipedal cats actually had his best intentions in mind.

Till a thought occurred to him, it wasn't completely true, that there was no test.

Ruby, the snow leopard that had 'recruited' him onto the ship full of them. She had made a point to show him around the ship. She finished by introducing both his room and hers, which were near one another, almost directly neighbours.

'If you need me, day or night, my door will open for you. I will only be upset if I find out you didn't seek me out when in need.' It was the last thing she had said to him before disappearing down the corridor and away from his room. He stared after her, focusing on the swishing tail and ample rump beneath the grey and white dotted fur.

'Prove it.' His tired mind demanded now in the darkness. He'll always mistrust them if he didn't test their promises.

Without thinking, he sat up, and in naught but loose knee length nightwear, moved to his front door. It slid open without a noise and revealed low lights highlighting the corridor.

'Am I doing this?' He asked, doubting himself as he lingered in his doorway, torn between truth and familiarity.

He glanced back into his dark room. He wouldn't make any social faux par in there. He looked down the corridor, he could see her front door. He could be shunned horrifically if they didn't stand by their word...

His first step was the hardest. The other steps went by too quickly. He was lightheaded by the time he approached Ruby's door. His mind screamed not to, his subconscious promised to be good, just don't knock on the-

The door opened as if it was his own, he had no need to knock...

He stepped within, mimicking her from the day before. The room structure was no different from his own from what he could see in the gloom, despite different adornments.

"Hello? Ruby?" He whispered into the oppressive darkness barely a whisper. He took a few steps towards the bedroom, before realising what he was doing.

"I'm an idiot." He admonished himself, turning and intending to go back to his room.

A large paw on his shoulder caused him to jump and have his heart attempt to blast out of his chest.

"Don't say that please." Stated a shadow with Ruby's voice. "Are you okay?" She asked, turning him to 'face' her, another large broad paw found his other shoulder. He couldn't actually see anything, merely a silhouette of blocked light.

"Ah.. yeah, yeah, I'm... not sure why I'm here."

A low growl came from the shadow before she spoke again.

"Big changes dear Matt, freedom is imposing to those who haven't tasted it properly. You will doubt yourself, that is normal. But you chose a course and now you should commit until you know better. There is a cure for the voices this evening my Matt." She promised.

He gave a small smile into the dark, whilst he could not see her, to her it was as bright as day.

"What's the cure?"

"Come with me..." she said simply, turning but catching his hand in hers. Her digits with padded, furred, longer and thicker than his. Her hand or paw engulfed his own and marched him silently into the bedroom proper.

"Climb in, be careful." She requested as he felt for the edge of the bed and climbed aboard. Their beds were far larger and more luxurious, squishing significantly beneath him, certainly more than anything he'd enjoyed before. But when he felt Ruby climb in immediately after him, he was confused when a second set of hands from within the bed, grasped him down onto the mattress, rolled him so he was facing Ruby and a large body began to spoon him from behind.

Ruby was in front of him... Who was..?

Looking down at the thick arms that were curled around his chest and stomach, he deduced the fur to be pure black or some other similarly dark colour.

"That is Onyx, my current lover, they will help me keep the doubts away..." Said Ruby as she pressed up to his front and wrapped her own arms over both of the other occupants of the bed.

His back was pressed into devilishly soft fur, while Ruby's longer fur and chest pressed into his front. Her head rested almost touching his forehead, while he could feel warm breath gently washing over the back of his neck in time with the moving chest touching his back.

A rumbling growl and yawn came from behind his ear.

"Doubts?" a male voice asked from behind his ear.

"He has doubts hunting him. True freedom is new for him." Stated Ruby, speaking over his head as she settled.

Matt felt a rough tongue gently run up at the back of his neck once.

"It's okay... we're here. You're not alone... You are safe." rumbled the gravelly voice.

Likewise, Ruby gave a loving lick to his forehead, before rubbing her cheek over his face. First one cheek, then the other as the pair of aliens began to purr loudly, whilst Onyx nuzzled into the back of his neck. If he didn't know better, Matt would have worried about an earthquake, but now, just two larger-than-a-human cats, both purring while whispering sweet nothings and reassurances into the blighted man's ear.

Their limbs intertwined and while there was no blanket on the bed, every inch of his exposed flesh had at least some of the felinoid bodies and fur pressed against it. With the exception of his face, he wasn't exposed to the air.

Slept came surprisingly swiftly shortly after this to Matt. He rested obscenely well and woke the next morning feeling incredibly refreshed.

Getting out of bed however took several hours, not that anyone within that bed cared...

=== 0 ===

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#conservationverse #cuddleverse #human #haso #hfy #humans are space orcs #furry #human x furry #felinoid #cat #potentially triggering #tw: dubious consent #tw depressing thoughts

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allexina · 1 month

Text

Content warnings: reader is female and uses she/her pronouns, internalized misogyny, physical violence, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, mentions of starvation, and child neglect.

Johnny Cade x Female! Reader - Sinners

Summary: You were stuck in a very religious household and were raised to believe that bad things would happen if you didn’t follow the rules set for you perfectly. When you meet Johnny Cade, an innocent boy who just wants what’s best for you, he shows you what affection and love is when given in a healthy dosage and not used in a detrimental way. When you finally open up to him about your family, Johnny decides he wants to get you out before something bad happens to you.

Author’s note: I’m so sorry that this took so long!! I’ve been experimenting and rewriting this to fix everything. I’ve also been going back and forth between multiple of my stories so I don’t burn myself out! I do genuinely wonder what churches and all were like back then. I know there was a LOT of cults back then which was what originally inspired this. I will be coming back to proofread this/fix any dialogue that doesn’t make much sense for Johnny. Also, please give constructive criticism!:)

Word count: 5.2K+

You were on your knees, murmuring a quick prayer. You didn’t want to be outcasted or damned for missing even one prayer and that was something that was beat into you as a child. You kept your hands clasped tightly together as you heard snickering coming from behind you.

You ignored it, knowing it was those boys that had come in randomly during the sermon. You stopped yourself from thinking anything bad about the people laughing. God told you that it wasn’t your place to judge and you trusted him. You wouldn’t judge the boys no matter how many cruel words they spoke.

You felt the tears before they even started to try and fall. You had stood up from the altar and wiped the tears away quickly, hoping no one saw you. The fear of being seen crying wasn’t too strong as everyone already called you overly sensitive so it didn’t matter much if they saw you crying. You went to sit back beside your family, who were all smiling at you as if you had done some good deed by praying.

In your eyes, that was the least of your good deeds. Why didn’t any of the other times get noticed? It wasn’t like it mattered that they didn’t because you weren’t supposed to be praised for doing the bare minimum but it was still upsetting.

A woman sitting beside you smiled down at you and nodded with no actual reason. Well, you thought she was saying hello without speaking. That’s how the people in your class said hello without ever speaking. You found it entertaining but never acted how they did because it was unladylike in every way.

You smiled at the woman and looked back to the preacher who was getting louder by the second. You crossed your arms as you licked your dry lips.

You would do anything to get out of the church but God wouldn’t appreciate you hating his love the way you were. You closed your eyes and looked down towards the ground as you began rapidly praying. Begging for forgiveness that you knew wouldn’t come easily, you felt your heart release the heaviness of your sins. You wouldn’t tell a soul of your true sins. The ones that keep you up late into the night; the ones that make you miss the days you would smoke cigarettes to calm yourself.

You heard the sermon slowly come to an end and you stood up without much thought as you walked into the aisle. Your parents followed you as you walked out of the church without speaking to anyone. Your mom followed you as she let out a sigh. “Your father needs to speak with the pastor so he said we could head on home.” She smiled as she placed a hand on your shoulder. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving!” She started leading you away from the church as you looked over your shoulder. A group of teenage boys had walked out of the building with one specifically watching you walk away.

Your eyes looked towards a random tree after making eye contact with the adorable boy. You thought he was handsome but you felt a certain disgust for feeling that. You were going to marry a man of your father’s choice. After all, he knew what men were like and would choose based on which man could provide for you and your future family.

Your mom pressed a kiss to your forehead as she held you tightly against her. “Do you want to start exercising more?” Your mom suddenly questioned aloud as she ran a hand through your hair. “I think we should go on more walks and get out of the house more. You’re homeschooled and have nothing else to do and I usually have our home cleaned with food on the table long before it’s needed.” She rambled on and on as you stopped.

Your house was in front of the two of you as you grabbed your mom’s hand from your shoulder and began leading her up the concrete pathway that paved the path you needed to take.

Your stomach growled angrily as you felt hunger pains spread throughout your stomach. When was the last time you ate? You couldn’t remember as you felt you still didn’t deserve to eat. You took a moment to look around your house. Your mom was trying to redecorate as much as possible for Easter. You were feeling disappointment that winter had almost ended and it was soon to be summer.

You enjoyed bundling up in the warmest of clothes while also having reason to light a fire in the fireplace. You felt your face flush as you looked in the mirror that was hung in the living room and noticed that the strap of your bra had slipped down your shoulder. Your mom watched as you pulled it up with a struggle.

“You know, you don’t have to panic when it’s just me. I have breasts, too.” You looked at her with the widest of eyes she’d or anyone had ever seen on you.

“Mom! It’s immodest to ever allow anyone to see anything that only a husband should see!” You snapped as you ran up to your room in fear of being seen as a… you couldn’t bring yourself to think the word.

You collapsed on your bed as sobs filled the empty space beside you. You were ashamed, hurt, sad. You couldn’t understand the emotions that flowed endlessly through your body.

You grabbed the comforter from the end of your bed and brought it up closer to you as you flipped and turned every which way to get comfortable. You grabbed the stuffed animal that laid beside you and hugged it close to you. You were tired and you didn’t want to be involved with anything else for that day. You had gone to church and you had prayed to God to get you out.

You closed your eyes as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

You grabbed the piece of toast off of your plate and licked your lips at the buttery taste. You were going to the library soon to find the second to the last book in a fantasy series that you had picked up.

You grabbed your purse and started to walk out of your house with a tired sigh leaving you. You wanted more sleep but you also wanted more time to yourself. Your dad had come home with another man. He told you the man was a pastor from a nearby church that wanted to talk about God with your family.

You walked down the broken sidewalk with a frown plastered on your family. You were nervous to be out in public without one of your parents with you as they told you a lot of bad people liked to prey on young girls such as yourself. It made you nervous to even look out the window some days with the things they told you.

You sped up as the wind blew a little harder against you. You were wearing a long dress that covered everything including your ankles while also covering your arms and shoulders. The dress was wildly blowing with the wind and for a good while, you thought you were going to fly away with the fallen leaves on the ground.

The buildings around you had gotten more abundant as you seen the library in the distance. You heard that same loud laughing that you heard whilst in the church which made you do a double take at the group of boys walking down the sidewalk.

Your eyes met with that of the boy who had puppy eyes. He was attractive but you forced yourself to look away from him as it was disgusting for you to feel attracted in any way to anyone until you were married. You crossed your arms and covered your breasts as you knew that your body was created to be distracting for men. You never wanted to tempt someone.

You happily pulled open the glass door to the library and walked in, feeling a sense of safety when you heard the door shut loudly behind you. You never enjoyed entering buildings. It was… terrifying for you.

You needed to find another book that would keep your thoughts solely on yourself and the characters. Your Bible had kept you pretty focused on living your life based on God but you couldn’t continue to read the same sentences over and over while pretending to completely understand the meaning.

Your eyes scanned the dozens of thick books that were laying with a layer of dust covering them. You grabbed one that had a slightly darker cover than the rest, reading the title before flipping the book over to read the back.

You heard the library door open and close loudly. You looked towards the noise and almost let out a gasp once you saw the boy with the puppy eyes. He was making eye contact with you.

You looked back down at the book that you were holding so tightly that your knuckles were white.

You watched as the boy approached you after a second, finally deciding to speak after a moment. “Uh… hey. I’m Johnny.” The boy finally sent you a shy little smile and you looked down.

“I’m R/n.” You stuck your hand out and the two of you shook hands. You were honestly shocked that he had even followed you into the library to talk to you. You felt your cheeks flush at the thought of him finding you so pretty that he wanted to talk to you.

“I saw you the other day at church and now you’re here…” Johnny’s voice sent something throughout you as he moved a hand to rub the back of his neck.

“Oh, well I appreciate you approaching me but I only date to marry. If that is why you approached me.” You lied through your teeth and it made you feel bad. You weren’t allowed to date. Your parents only wanted you to marry a nice man who would do whatever so long as it meant that you were out of their house by eighteen.

“Oh…?” Johnny sounded confused as he looked up at you. You were wearing your heels and were standing only a few inches taller than he was.

“I don’t mind! Really. I- can we just be friends?” Johnny felt his stomach continue to wrap itself in loops as he broke eye contact and began staring uncomfortably at the ground.

“Yes. I would like that.” You gripped the book in your hand as you began walking to the librarian’s desk. She took your book from your hand and before you knew it, the book was slid across the desk back to you.

Johnny continued walking with you even when his friends started calling him over. You looked at Johnny with the smallest of smiles, “you can go hang out with them, if you want. My parents are strict and wouldn’t appreciate me being around a boy without them.” Your words confused Johnny as he knew parents could be protective but why were yours wanting to be around for every little moment? You were almost an adult woman and you still heavily relied on your family which, don’t get Johnny wrong, wasn’t a bad thing but it also wasn’t healthy.

“Okay. When can I see you again?” Johnny wanted to ask you out on a date but knew you’d reject him given the opportunity which you had.

“Well, I do want to go shopping soon so if you want to come then?” You tilted your head to the left slightly, eyes staring back at Johnny’s with a certain glint in them.

“Yeah, that works.” Johnny murmured as he stared at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.

“Well, meet me at the Summit tomorrow at twelve.” You smiled as Johnny nodded before he began walking back towards his friends.

You stared helplessly after him, feeling as if you were doing the wrong thing by allowing him to walk off like that.

You let out a sign and continued your adventure home.

“R/n? Are you done?” Your father peeked into your room to ask if you were done reading the Bible. You felt that you were as you had memorized almost every verse you were given. It was mind boggling how you could remember such complex things but forgot simple things such as how to cook a chicken breast. Maybe that’s why your parents cared so much about finding you a husband. You were still excited about the prospects of receiving love and giving it back to someone but that excitement had died down a lot since you’d seen Johnny that day at the library.

“Yes, sir.” You responded as you looked out the window. Rain was clinging to the glass as if it was its life force. You found it fascinating how the drops would hit the window and stick only for them to slowly slide down. It was a cycle that was endless and so fun to watch. Your father left you alone as you heard the thumping of his shoes on the stairs. You tried to ignore the feeling of random sadness that you had started to feel. New emotions were appearing now that you had the slightest taste of freedom.

You were excited, nervous, sad, happy, etc. all because of a boy that you would never ever get to be with in any capacity. You looked at your clock on the wall and stood up, deciding it would be better for you to go get a snack and then take a short cat nap after just to get some of your energy back.

You let out a sigh as you walked down the stairs and came face-to-chest with your father.

“What’s wrong, R/n?” He lifted a hand up only for you to walk past him quickly. You were nervous. You didn’t want to speak to your father as he would only make those feelings intensify. You sat down at the kitchen table with a frown appearing on your features.

Your mom looked at you with the smallest of smiles playing at her lips. Your plate was already made and placed down in front of you. You didn’t immediately start to eat as your father came into the kitchen and sat down at the head of the table. Your eyes watched his every move, a certain anger filling you as you watched your parents turn to each other and began a conversation.

Why did they get to do whatever they wanted, even when it counted as a sin, yet when you do something, you're deemed a demon. A sinner who will never see the pearly gates of heaven. Your mouth stayed sealed as you felt the anger dissipate into thin air as guilt overtook every other emotion. Those were your parents. They never sinned even when you believed they did because you were uneducated and you didn’t understand the Bible as much as they did.

“I met a boy today.” You finally spoke, deciding to tell your parents the truth. God would want you to tell them the full, honest truth.

Your mom leaned forward with a smile on her face, “oh, tell me about him! Is he a God fearing man? Does he understand that you aren’t willing to be intimate until marriage? What about the church's rules? Does he know them?” Your stomach twisted at your mom’s words. You closed your eyes before starting to slowly answer all of her questions.

“He is. He goes to church. I did tell him that and he was okay with it. I haven’t mentioned the rules yet.” You whispered out as you sat up a bit straighter.

Your mom had a look of excitement on her face as she started talking while your father leaned back in his chair. “You’ll have to speak with brother David.” You hated calling everyone your brother and sister. It was unfair and disgusting when people began marrying each other within the church. You thought you were all brothers and sisters. You shuddered but nodded finally.

“Okay, but I never said that I wanted to be with him.” You responded as you picked your fork up and scooped some of the mashed potatoes up onto your fork. They were creamy and perfect. You continued shoveling the food into your mouth while your mom talked to your father.

“Our daughter is growing up. Next thing we know, she’s going to be in the hospital delivering our first grandchild.” Your stomach cramped with the pain of imaginary childbirth. That pain soon drifted to your lower body as you crossed your legs with the pain finally disappearing as you stopped thinking about it.

You would hold off on giving birth for as long as you possibly could.

“She won’t be doing anything until she speaks to brother David.” Your father reiterated what he had said before and you leaned back into your chair. Well, you at least had your mom’s permission to find a lover. You also remembered the numerous conversations where he had told you that he would choose a husband for you, because you weren’t smart enough to pick a good man.

You finished the food on your plate and stood up from the table as you decided you would wash your own plate. You didn’t want to stay at the dinner table any longer than you already had. That was a waste of time in your opinion.

You let out a sigh and walked to the kitchen, scraping the leftover food off of your plate before setting the plate and fork on the countertop and turning the sink on. You loved playing within the soapy bubbles that always spread rapidly once the soap was added. It smelt good and made you feel good. It made you feel clean.

You grabbed the sponge off of the holder that kept it out of the sink. You added a little soap to it before setting the plate into the sink and washing it. By the time you were finished, you had wanted to go to sleep. You grabbed the towel that you and your mom normally used to dry the dishes and quickly wiped the water off.

You opened the cabinet and you slid the plate into its normal place. “Hey, R/n? How much do you want for your allowance?” Your mom yelled to you and you wiped your hands onto your floral dress as you quickly started to walk towards your mom. Your heels clicked on the floor of your home as you caught sight of your parents who were still sitting in the kitchen.

“I don’t mind but I do really want that (favorite colored) dress that has (favorite design) on it.” You looked at your mom before your father pulled his wallet out and pulled a few dollars out. It was more than enough for you to buy the dress.

“Thank you, father.” You wrapped your arms around your father excitedly. You couldn’t remember a time where you felt so happy about receiving money. Usually, you would argue some and hope that they kept whatever money it was that they were trying to give. When it came to the man who had a helping hand in your creation, you didn’t care much. You enjoyed taking money from him and reminding him of your existence otherwise, he wouldn’t remember you past being at church.

You started making your way back to your room, hoping that you could meet that Johnny boy again. Hopefully he would be willing to meet up with you again so you could talk further than you anxiously speaking words that shouldn’t have ever been spoken in the same sentence. You wished you wouldn’t have lied and told him that you date to marry.

You needed human interaction to survive. You loved being with some of your close friends while doing anything at all. You couldn’t care less what the interaction you had was so long as you weren’t alone.

You started walking back up onto the stairs as you thought about how you could get into contact with Johnny once more. You made it to the top of the stairs and your eyes landed on the cross that hung above the staircase. You smiled as you murmured the lightest of prayers, and went back up to your room to pick an outfit out for your day out tomorrow. You wanted to impress Johnny and make him see you in a light that made you seem almost innocent. Men only wanted innocent and modest women.

You picked out a dress that had long sleeves and went down to the floor. You would wear your heels and it would make the dress reach close to your ankles. You set the dress onto the chair in the corner of your room.

You changed into a more comfortable outside before brushing your teeth and hair.

Soon after, you were in your bed and whispering prayers to God, hoping he would bless you with the prospects of love.

You were up and eating breakfast with your stomach twisting into knots. Your mom didn’t mention the slight shake of your hands and she didn’t mention how you were dressed up with makeup and all. She didn’t want him to realize and keep you home instead of letting you go out with your friend.

“Thank you for the money.” You grabbed the orange juice and took a sip from it as your mom looked at you with a smile. Your father had a slight smile but he it didn’t reach his eyes.

You were quick to leave your house, knowing you would be an hour or so early for whatever was going to happen with Johnny. You wiped your hands onto your dress and started walking slowly. You could take the time to admire your surroundings instead of trying to book it to meet up with Johnny.

He would probably be late anyways as all of the men you knew were rarely on time without a woman forcing them to get up and out of the door before a specific time. You meant no harm to Johnny but he didn’t seem like the kind of man to have someone doing that for him.

More often than not, he had dirt on his face and always seemed dirty. You would fix that, of course. You made sure to pack a small jar of water along with a handkerchief to make sure that he would get clean.

You looked around at the trees with a small smile on your face. Animals were casually running around and happily avoiding you as if their lives depended on it. Though, in hindsight, you were technically a danger to the animals mostly because humans killed them so often.

You noticed the Summit was quickly approaching within your line of vision and you quickened your pace so you could sit somewhere and wait for Johnny.

You entered the building and a shocked expression overtook your features as you tilted your head. Johnny was sitting on one of the benches and was pulling at something in his pocket. “Johnny?” You smiled as you realized he was early without you even having to ask him.

Johnny stood up and held a hand out for you as you gave him a grin. “I didn’t want to be late so I left a little earlier…” Johnny’s voice held that southern accent that made you smile. You had lived in the south your entire life but for majority of it, you lived in Utah so your accents were slightly different.

“That’s why I came early, too. Well, come on! We need to get into the shops before everyone else gets in.” You noticed the dirt had been wiped away but the grease in his hair was prevalent still.

You didn’t mind though as the two of you started walking together. “I… I’m sorry if I came off as overbearing last time. I never meant to come off like that.” You whispered out as you walked a little quicker just in case he didn’t react well to your words.

“You didn’t. I just wasn’t ready for it.” Johnny caught up with you and gave you the shyest smile you had ever seen.

“Oh… okay.” You pulled open the glass door, a smile present on your face as you walked into the building. You held the door open for Johnny with a grin on your face. You seen him pause for a moment before he walked into the store you wanted to go in. His eyes shifted from dress to dress without much thought behind his eyes.

“Oh, they still have it!” You smiled as you rushed to grab the dress that you originally wanted. You held the dress up and gave Johnny the most innocent smile he had ever seen in his life.

You skimmed through the sizes and chose yours, holding the dress under your arm as you waved an employee down. “Hi! I was wondering if you could let me into one of the dressing rooms?” You asked with a shy smile on your face.

The woman immediately nodded as the two of you began walking towards the dressing rooms. You peaked over your shoulder and saw Johnny was slowly following too. You would need to make sure he didn’t feel awkward after showing him the dress.

“My sister loves this dress. She actually cut the sleeves off because she thought it looked cuter and it really does!” The employee smiled at you and your eyes sparkled.

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I may have to do that before the summer months hit.” You laughed as the woman opened the dressing room door. She closed it after you and you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You were gorgeous.

You slipped out of the dress you were in and slid into the other dress with a smile on your face. The dress was beautiful on you and really made you look ten times better than you ever thought you would look. You always assumed the very worst of anything especially when it came to clothes.

You opened the door of the dressing room and gave Johnny a small smile as you showed him your dress. “I think it looks pretty on me. What about you?” You asked softly as you turned slightly to show him the back of the dress even though it was the same as the other countless dresses you had.

“It looks very beautiful on you.” Johnny gave you a small, breathless smile as he looked you up and down. You walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, hugging him as you decided you wanted to give him physical affection.

It wasn’t unnatural for you to want to give people hugs as that was your love language. You slowly let go of the man and went back into the dressing room with a smile on your face. You kissed Johnny’s cheek with the softest smile on your face. You let go of Johnny completely and backed away with your lipstick stains stuck on Johnny’s face.

You walked back into the dressing room and changed back into your other dress as you quickly wanted to make it back to Johnny on the other side of the door. “Hey, Johnny? Can you come in here?” You weren’t going to be undressed in front of Johnny as you had a shirt underneath the dress because you thought of every situation, including having Johnny help you.

Johnny slowly opened the door of the dressing room and came in before closing it with his foot. “What do you need help with?” Johnny asked quietly as he kept his eyes to the ground.

“Can you zip the dress up?” You turned around and smiled as you felt his hand make contact with the shirt on your back. You heard and felt the zipper get pulled up.

You turned around and you both exited the dressing room only for you to see one of your friends from the church standing in line. You grabbed Johnny’s hand and quickly scampered away from the dressing room so she wouldn’t tell your parents that the two of you were alone in the dressing room together.

You let go of Johnny’s hand and you both stood together in the line to pay. Now, you only wanted to get out of the store and the Summit in fear of your parents finding out that you were with a boy. Your parents knew that you had gone out with a man but they didn’t know who it was and you wanted to keep it that way. You didn’t want them to unnecessarily judge him for being less fortunate than your family.

“I was thinking that we could get something to eat afterwards?” You looked at Johnny with the biggest smile on your face.

“Yeah, if that’s what you want.” Johnny mumbled out as he kept his stare at the floor. You were slightly upset that he was so shy but then again, it still made you feel happy/giddy to know that he even wanted to spend time with you, anyways.

“That is what I want and I’ll pay for anything you want.” You smiled as the cashier suddenly caught your attention. You set your dress down on the counter and paid before leaving with Johnny.

You wanted to go to one of the higher end diners that you knew of but Johnny didn’t seem comfortable with the idea so you let him choose a place. He settled on a place that was in a rougher spot in town but nothing the two of you couldn’t get through. You knew that you would get something that would be easy on the stomach so that when you got home, you would also be able to eat supper with your family.

Johnny was standing in front of you with the door to the diner held open. You smiled at him as you felt a yawn creeping up from the back of your throat. You were so tired but knew that you had gotten enough sleep so being tired didn’t make much sense. “Oh, I’m so excited. I’ve never been here before.” You made a comment before realizing that could be taken in a different way. How would the upper middle class/wealthy girl ever end up in the bad part of town with everyone else? She wouldn’t unless she was with someone who knew the bad part of town.

You sat down at a booth and Johnny followed before you started talking. You were rambling on and on. Johnny allowed you to do so and didn’t bother to add anything into the conversation besides the occasional “yeah” or “okay”. You sheepishly smiled at him after rambling and he finally spoke, “do you want something to eat?” Johnny didn’t have a lot of money and he never thought he’d be in a situation where he would need it to make a girl feel like he genuinely likes her.

“Yeah but I’ll pay! I have more than enough money for the both of us. If you want, I can slip the money to you so you don’t feel embarrassed.” You gave Johnny a genuine smile as you leaned back against the booth seat. You grabbed the money from within your purse and nodded at Johnny to grab it from under the table. You didn’t want others to shame him even more for “making” the girl pay.

You cared deeply about societal norms and everything that came with it but you also knew that you wanted to have a lover before you became old and barren. You didn’t want to lose your ability to have children before you even had a chance to have a lover.

You watched as Johnny took the money from you with a frown on his face. You grabbed two menus from the holder on the back of the table and handed one to him. “Oh, I want a salad.” You smiled at Johnny with your cheeks turning a light shade of red. You didn’t want him to see you as anything other than an attractive woman. Anything else would be considered unfair to you as you always worked and tried to present yourself as a respectable and honest young woman.

“I want a hamburger…” Johnny’s voice had gotten more confident and you were proud of that. It must’ve meant that he was comfortable around you.

You nodded at him before speaking, “oh, I enjoy hamburgers but I love myself a nice salad.” You looked down at your stomach and Johnny watched as you subconsciously sunk down into the booth at the sight of your own stomach. You forced the frown off of your face and looked back up at Johnny.

“You know, I would love to go to the library soon. If you’d like, you can come with me…” you were nervous. You had never asked a man to go on a second date with you. That was when the realization hit you that this most likely wasn’t a date and he considered the two of you only friends. You played with your fingers under the table and cursed yourself slightly as you understood that caused it.

You let out a sigh as your thoughts started making you second guess everything. You liked Johnny but you felt almost as if you were using him. You decided then that you wanted to spend more time with Johnny.

You finally end wrapped your arms around yourself. You smiled at Johnny to make him less worried. You had noticed how his face fell slightly when you wrapped your arms around yourself and you felt guilty for being selfish. Everything was so awkward now that the two of you were alone with one another.

Soon enough, a waitress had stopped by y’all’s table to take your orders and you both gave your orders before you looked back at Johnny. “I’m sorry if this is awkward. I’ve tried to make everything less awkward but I feel like I’ve made it worse.” You laughed quietly and apologized softly.

You never wanted to make him uncomfortable and you felt that you had. “You didn’t! You… come off as a little strong but that’s fine.” You heard Johnny speak up, this time louder than any time before.

You leaned back in the seat and let out a sigh, knowing that you were going to go home and cry.

You were laying in bed with tears rolling down your cheeks. Your parents knew that you were out with Johnny and they knew that he had come into the dressing room with you. You were forced into your room and told that you wouldn’t be allowed to eat for a week and after that, you wouldn’t be allowed to see Johnny again.

You were glad that you ate before you came home and you knew that your mom would slip you snacks through the door when your father wasn’t looking. You were ashamed as you knew that everything you done was wrong. You not only hurt your parents but you angered God.

You had turned your back on the only thing that loved you for you. You felt yourself choke back another sob as you stared at the ceiling with tears rolling down your face. You grabbed a pillow and covered your face as you got off your bed. Your father was yelling downstairs and you knew the way to get your punishment over quickly.

You opened the door to your room and began walking down the stairs, understand that you would be in plenty of pain by the time it was all over. You understood that you deserved what your father was going to do to you and you were terrified. You didn’t want to be hurt but you also understood that you had to be hurt in one way or another.

It was the only way to receive God’s forgiveness for your sins.

Your feet hit the bottom of the stairs and you walked into the living room, looking at your parents. Your mom’s eyes widened and she immediately told you to go back to your room. You were sobbing again and your mom tried to reach you only for your father to physically throw her onto the couch.

Your father grabbed you by your shoulder and began forcing you towards the basement. It would only take five minutes, right? That was the usual time it took for you to finish all the punishments. You were silent throughout the ordeal as you knew that nothing you said would do anything. He would tell you to shut your mouth and you’d be punished longer than you would had you just kept your mouth shut.

You were forced onto the ground on top of a tarp-like surface that would catch any liquids that would fall during the interaction that was about to take place.

You didn’t want to fight back much as you had once before and your nose had been broken for it. You were embarrassed to admit that you stopped fighting back after that. On top of that though, God wouldn’t want you to fight back. He would want you to take whatever was given to you with grace.

You heard everything before you felt the physical pain from what you assumed to be your father’s belt.

You were close to sobbing by the third hit but your reminded yourself that you needed food. You could take quite a few hits before your body gave out but to go without eating for a week, it wasn’t something you wanted to do.

Soon enough, your father had left the basement and left you on the ground with tears in your eyes. You would never do this to your future children. Not even in the name of God.

It was too painful for you to even breath that second so why would you ever do something so heinous to someone else especially when it hurt you. You let out a silent sob as you slowly lifted yourself off of the floor. You looked at the ground and noticed the dark liquid that had formed from what happened. You gritted your teeth and began walking up the stairs, tears welling in your eyes as you struggled to walk up the stairs.

You opened the basement door and let out a choked sound before you almost slipped. You groaned as you weakly made your way to your room.

You almost let out a yell as you saw Johnny sitting on your bed with his eyes widening the second he saw you. “What happened to you?” He stood up and you closed your door quickly and slid your dresser in front of it.

You almost gave out as you covered your mouth to silence your scream. You sat down on your bed and shut your eyes tightly. Johnny put a hand on your thigh and gently tapped it as he watched your face change from one to pain to one of fear. “This is a sin.” You hissed out between clenched teeth.

“It’s not. You’re not a sinner because I touch you.” Johnny wrapped his arms around you and you let out another choked sob as you began to take your clothes off in front of Johnny.

“Help me…” your voice cracked as you begged him for help. You didn’t want to be physically hurt anymore. You couldn’t do it. “My father done this because we were in the dressing room together.” Johnny watched as you finished taking off your dress. You had since taken off the shirt underneath and Johnny was both in awe and disgust at the wounds. He’d never seen wounds so deep in a woman.

Johnny got up and begin searching your room, finding tape and an old shirt that seemed dirty. Johnny ripped the shirt and began gently tapping your wounds with it. “I’ll get you out of here. I fuckin’ promise to get you out of here.” He gave you a look of pure anger as you let out a whimper when he hit one of the wounds just right.

“Why do you got tape?” You whispered out as you tried to focus on anything and everything other than the fact that the boy you just got beat over was holding tape and cleaning your wounds.

“It’s nothin’. What’s your favorite book?” Johnny asked as he finished up with whatever he was doing.

You were already talking, hoping that you could somehow forget about the pain that came from each and every touch on your back.

“Edgar Allan Poe is my favorite author and I can’t choose between all of his books but I’d say The Raven is the best of them all.” You whispered out through gritted teeth. You finally felt Johnny gently pull your shirt down. You heard someone walking up the stairs and you immediately pushed Johnny into your closet.

Someone tried to open your door but was abruptly stopped by the dresser in front of it. “R/n? Baby, are you okay?” Your mom’s voice came through the door but you looked down at the ground.

“You said you’d talk to him about the no food thing.” Your voice cracked as you moved to sit down on your bed. You were… tired. That wasn’t the exact word for what you were feeling but it was oddly similar to what you were feeling. You thought that you wouldn’t ever grow tired of living the life that you were given but you had. The bruises were always painful and he never said sorry for all the physical and mental/emotional pain he caused both you and your mom.

Your mom had no reason to stay with him and she had no reason to fear him. She came from a wealthy family which is how your family even managed to stay in such an expensive house. Your father, a bank teller, didn’t make much and wouldn’t have been able to afford the home you lived in without your grandpa.

Your mom walked away from your room, the quietest of sobs leaving your mom. You felt terrible and felt like you were being too harsh on your poor mom. Your father “disciplined” her as well though her punishments were usually worse than yours and if she ever stood up against him for you, he would beat her until she was near death.

Johnny wanted to say something, anything but he couldn’t physically bring himself to speak. It was an awful feeling for the two of you as you sat silently in your room. You finally looked over at Johnny with a weird look on your face. “How did you get into my room?” Your voice sounded rough around the edges, breaking with every other word.

“I climbed the tree?” Johnny looked at you with a small blush coating his cheeks. You looked out your window and looked at the tree, looking back over at Johnny right after.

“I… didn’t know that was possible.” You heard Johnny stop all movement and you decided that you wanted to get sleep but you didn’t want to be alone. “I know we don’t really know each other but can you stay for a bit? My father won’t bother me for a few days and my mom will come by tomorrow afternoon.” You whispered out as you looked over at Johnny. Your nerves were absolutely on fire as you waited for his answer.

“Yeah, I can.” Johnny got off the bed and turned your light off after you asked him to stay, seeing the tiredness in your eyes. You blindly laid down on your bed and reached to grab the blanket on your bed. You were far too tired to fight with anything or anyone. You just wanted to get a few hours of sleep without being interrupted.

“I’m going to go to sleep. You can stay up and do whatever just be a little quiet because my parents will try to come in if you make too much noise.” You closed your eyes as you silently mumbled a prayer. You couldn’t clasp your hands together or get down on your knees as the pain was far too intense for you to move much.

All the adrenaline you had had disappeared by the time you settled back down into your bedroom. Johnny paused in front of you and your bed with hesitation creeping up. He didn’t want to get in bed with you in fear of you pulling away from him.

You moved over slowly and patted the bed beside you, understanding his fear of not wanting to be in bed with you. You felt the bed dip as he got in beside you and you wrapped your arms around one of your pillows and brought it down to your stomach.

You curled around it and closed your eyes as tightly as you could. Your parents wouldn’t come back to your room well into the next day and you were okay with that as you knew your mom would most likely try to make things “right” by bribing you with food or something else she knew you would enjoy.

Your father would only give you a dirty look, making sure you knew he and the men at the church all knew of your sins. Your mom would never gossip because she said that was one of the easiest sins to commit. Your father, on the other hand, loved to tell the other men about how he punished you. You had heard him go into detail about it and it made you feel upset.

Your cheeks was stained with the tears you shed earlier. You were slightly embarrassed to admit that you still cried over the things that happened. You were always told that you would grow out of being sensitive but with every passing day and birthday, you realized you wouldn’t. You still cried over the smallest of things and you couldn’t control the tears once they started. You felt that it wasn’t the biggest issue that you could have and yet, everyone else felt the opposite. They treated you differently based solely on the fact that you were a tad bit more sensitive than they were.

Your blanket was rapidly warming up as you kept it pinned tightly around you, feeling only the slightest bit of guilt for Johnny when you felt his body release a small shake. “Are you cold? Get under here with me.” You moved over and held the blanket up for Johnny to get in with you. You didn’t want to wait for very long so when he moved slower than you wanted, you blindly reached a hand out and pulled him into your bed with you.

His body hit your bed with a thump and you smiled as you turned to face the wall. You didn’t want to bother him or make him feel uncomfortable so you pushed yourself against the wall with an almost silent hiss as your back made full contact with something. You turned onto your stomach and closed your eyes with your body relaxing. You weren’t tired, not really but you needed more sleep especially after what happened.

“I’ll get you out of here. I swear to it.” Johnny whispered out from behind you into the silence of your bedroom.

You laughed quietly as you shook your head. “You can’t and that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with what’s happening. This is God’s plan.” You shifted and let your foot slip out from under the blanket that shielded you from the outside world.

“This ain’t God’s plan. Man, if God wanted you to be hurt, wouldn’t he just do it himself?” Johnny asked you with a frown on his face. You couldn’t see it but you knew he wasn’t happy with you or the situation.

“I don’t know. God has people on Earth and he uses them to punish.” You responded only for Johnny to wrap an arm around you. He knew he needed comfort after being beat by his folks and assumed you would need/want that same comfort. You never did want that comfort mostly because the only people in your house was the ones who caused the pain in the first place. On top of that, the likelihood of your father stepping off of his high horse and trying to comfort you was almost as likely as seeing a unicorn.

It just wasn’t possible. He believed he was above you and your emotions which, in God’s eyes, he was. You weren’t supposed to complain as that was wrong too. Everything you had been doing as of late was wrong and you were ashamed to admit that you had willingly done most of it.

You felt the arm that was around you tighten around you more as your body shook with the silent sobs that left you. You had been so strong up until that point and now you couldn’t be strong. You were weak and would never live up to the person your parents seen when they looked at you. You were absolutely disgusting.

You closed your eyes and felt yourself drift off into a dreamless sleep.

You were woken up by someone shaking you gently. “You need to get up.” It was Johnny. He was trying to get you up and out of bed. “Come on. Both your parents left and you needa get up. We gotta go.” Johnny finally picked you up off of your bed and put your feet onto the floor of your bedroom.

“Johnny, we can’t leave? They’re my family.” You whispered out as Johnny started putting your things into a small bag.

“My folks are like yours. They ain’t worth nothin’ if they’re hittin’ you.” Johnny looked at you and gestured around. You started putting clothes into the bag before zipping it up and letting Johnny force your dresser from its place in front of your door.

Johnny intertwined your hands together and led you downstairs where the two of you left the house that you were raised in. It was unnerving and really made you feel terrible.

** One Year Later **

You put the notepad into the pocket of your apron. You were waiting for Johnny to come in so he could walk you back to your shared apartment with him. “Hey, baby!” You heard his voice as the bell above the glass door rung, telling you that someone had come in.

“Hi, lovely.” You pressed a kiss onto his cheek as you waved for him to sit at the counter. You were proud of both yourself and your lover. You made it out of whatever hell you had started in. You’d gotten yourself a psychiatrist/psychologist which you couldn’t remember which one it was but you were getting the help that you desperately need.

“Your shift was good?” Johnny asked as you poured some beer into a glass cup. You were the only one running the diner and Johnny would pay and tip you for pouring him a cup. You didn’t need that tip from him as the two of you shared finances but if you didn’t somehow, you would appreciate it.

“It was fine. I seen a man who looked very similar to my father earlier. Thought he’d finally come back to hurt me.” You set the glass in front of him. You leaned over the counter and pressed a kiss to Johnny’s cheek. You were feeling slightly relieved at the thought of your past life. You loved your parents more than anything but with the help of Johnny and a professional, you realized that God never wanted your father to beat you mercilessly.

You watched as Johnny took a sip of his beer. “We can afford for you to go to more of those sessions.” Johnny didn’t know much about your mental situation but he tried the best he could.

“Yeah, I know. He says I’m doing good for now. Says I’ve come a long way.” You walked around the counter and sat beside Johnny, laying your head on his shoulder. Your eyes were on the clock placed on the wall as you shook the thoughts from your head. “When you finish drinking that, we can leave. I’m closing tonight.” You stood up and watched as Johnny finished off the last of the beer.

He handed you the glass and you were quick to wash it. You were excited to go home and lay in bed with Johnny. You had never thought that you would be excited to just lay beside someone but once you and Johnny started to live the peaceful life, you were excited by the small things. You were looking forward to the future. To the days where you would get to see your future children running around.

You finished up with the cleaning and you began locking the diner up. “Oh, I’m so excited! I can’t wait to lay down and go to sleep.” You groaned out as you put the keys into your pocket. You would give them to Maryann in the morning when she came in. For now, you’d focus on the small family you had made for yourself that consisted of a healthier lifestyle, without the abuse.

Even if said abuse would haunt you for the rest of your life, you were at the very least, happy with yourself and the life you and Johnny had created.

#the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #Johnny Cade x reader #x female reader #Johnny Cade x female reader #The outsiders x female reader #Johnny Cade #The outsiders fanfic #the outsiders au #horror au #potentially triggering #horror

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