Worth the Wait
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Words: 2,204
Summary: Bucky has been avoiding you since the two of you nearly kissed a few weeks ago. When you both attend a Stark-hosted BBQ, he has no choice but to explain himself and make amends.
Warnings: None, I don’t think? Maybe some reader insecurities and self-doubt, but otherwise we’re all good.
A/N: This one got away from me a little bit but I just love the idea of the Avengers family having a get together and enjoying themselves. In my head this is set post Endgame (with major canon changes, obviously!), but I guess it could take place whenever you want depending on which Bucky is your favourite (though, let’s be honest, that’s all of them!).
--
"Damn girl, look at you!" Sam marvelled as you opened the door to greet him. "What a masterpiece!"
You'd opted for a more casual look for the BBQ the Starks were hosting, nothing special, but Sam was never short of a compliment and they were always appreciated.
You smiled sheepishly and bowed your head in modest thanks, locking the door and following him down the path to his truck.
"You should take a look at yourself," you countered with a playful wink, getting into the passenger seat and buckling up.
– – – – – –
You arrived at the Stark cabin a short while later, stopping on the way to pick up Peter. As much as you loved the kid, you were grateful that the journey, and his relentless chatter, had come to an end.
You spotted Clint and Scott’s cars as you stepped out of Sam’s truck and were pleased that some of your friends were already here. However, as your eyes fell upon Steve’s Audi and the bike sitting beside it your excitement was quickly replaced with anxiety; in your hurry to get ready on time you’d forgotten that Bucky would also be coming.
Sam noticed the falter in your steps and followed your gaze, smiling knowingly once he'd done the maths.
“Relax, cher, you’re among friends, what’s the worst that can happen?” he mused, playfully nudging your arm as the two of you followed Peter and the sound of chitchat around the side of the house.
Your eyes instinctively sought out the super soldier as you rounded the corner, your heart dropping into your stomach as you spotted him on the deck, beer in hand as he chatted to Steve and Clint.
“Ooh, new arrivals!” Tony’s voice tore you from your momentary stupor as your host stepped outside, drawing everyone's attention. You ignored the warmth in your cheeks as you felt Bucky’s everyone’s eyes on you and instead threw yourself at a surprised Tony.
“I'm glad to see you too, Y/N,” he chuckled, giving you a squeeze. “I'm guessing by how violently you're gripping me there have been no developments on the situation?" He murmured subtly, and you shook your head.
"There isn't even a situation to speak of," you replied in a hushed tone, hoping the super soldier's advanced hearing couldn't pick up your conversation. "We almost kissed, he's been ghosting me since. That's all there is to it."
Tony gave you a sympathetic smile as he pulled away and put his hands on your shoulders, holding you at arm's length.
"Give him time honey," he reassured, and you shrugged in response.
Just then, Morgan came bounding outside, stopping momentarily to look around before her eyes fell on you, squealing excitedly as she hurried down the steps and bolted over, wrapping her small arms around your waist.
"Hey Morgie!" You cooed, scooping her up and resting her on your hip. "How's my favourite Stark?"
"I resent that!" Tony griped, and you swatted him away with a laugh before turning your attention to his daughter.
You listened intently, hanging onto every word as she excitedly filled you in on everything you’d missed since your last visit - what she’d been up to at school, gossip she’d picked up from the playground, her science project she was working on with her Dad (which earned Tony a raised eyebrow since you knew how his 'projects' often ended up). You loved watching her talk - the spark in her eyes as she gestured animatedly reminded you so much of her Dad. You’d never admit it to him for fear of stroking his already bulging ego, but it was actually pretty cute how alike they were.
Once she was done with her stories Morgan went running off after Nate, who’d made his way over to you both during your conversation and ‘tagged’ her in the game he was playing with the other Barton children. You laughed as you watched the older kids skitter across the grass trying to get away from the tiny 5 year old, and turned your attention to the adults occupying the deck.
"You got this sweetheart," Tony comforted from beside you, sensing your unease. "You've dealt with murderous space aliens, I'm sure you can handle a brooding super soldier."
You laughed humorlessly. "I'm not so sure about that - at least the aliens let me know where I stand."
Tony chuckled with a shake of his head, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
"Get on over there and show him what he's missing," he ordered, giving you a gentle nudge. "He'll soon regret leaving you on 'read'."
"Look at you using the kids' lingo," you remarked with a grin. "Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks!"
"Less of the old or I'll find a way to embarrass you," Tony warned as he waggled his finger at you, but you only laughed in response.
"Quit stalling and get over there, I gotta go help Pepper in the kitchen but make yourself at home!"
And with that he was gone, leaving you standing alone. The palms of your hands turned clammy, your stomach churned, and your heart began racing a thousand miles a minute as you approached the deck.
It was ridiculous really, you were acting like a teenager with a crush. This was Bucky, for crying out loud. The same Bucky who'd accompanied you on countless missions, who'd fought alongside you during the battle with Thanos, who'd seen you at your absolute worst. The same Bucky you'd swapped stories with, shared your hopes and dreams with, and confessed your deepest worries and darkest fears to in the middle of the night when neither of you could sleep.
The same Bucky who, since the two of you had almost kissed a month ago, had been avoiding you like the plague.
You’d been hanging out in the lounge, laughing and poking fun at his dreadful video game skills, then suddenly you were staring at each other's lips, slowly drawing closer. You were sure you were going to kiss, you'd wanted to kiss him, but then he'd pulled away as though he'd been struck by lightning, excused himself and had been avoiding you at every available opportunity since.
You hadn't stopped replaying the scene in your head over the last few weeks, analysing every detail and wondering if perhaps you'd misread the situation and imagined the chemistry. It was easy to dismiss before, but now you were in Bucky's presence again, that feeling of rejection returned.
"There she is!" Clint cheered as you reached them, shifting along the bench and making room for you to sit beside him. "I was beginning to think you were avoiding me," he pouted and you couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous look on his face.
"As if you'd let me," you snickered, grateful for the distraction as you grabbed a beer from the cooler nearby. You opened it and took a giant swig, relishing the cold liquid soothing your increasingly dry throat. You greeted Steve and, once you'd had a moment to gather your courage, you finally chanced a look in Bucky's direction.
You regretted it instantly.
His icy blue eyes were already fixed on you, watching you intently as he nursed his own drink. Your heartbeat quickened and you hoped - rather fruitlessly - that he couldn’t hear it.
"Hi James," you mumbled, averting your gaze. Somehow using his nickname didn’t seem appropriate since it was reserved for use by his friends, and right now you weren’t sure what the two of you were. He furrowed his brow at the sound of his formal name coming from your mouth, but quickly schooled his features before anybody noticed.
–
The party was soon in full swing, as more guests arrived and Tony fired up the BBQ. The food was delicious, the drinks were flowing, and you were enjoying spending time with your friends outside of missions and a strict regime. You were like one big family, and you smiled in contentment as you glanced around at everyone laughing and enjoying themselves.
Everyone except Bucky, of course, who hadn't cracked a smile once since you'd been here (not that you were keeping track or anything).
°°°
"What's going on in that cyborg brain of yours?" Sam asked as he joined Bucky on the deck and handed him another beer.
Bucky didn't answer, but it wasn't hard for Sam to guess his thoughts when he followed his friend's line of sight and saw you.
"She really cares about you, you know," he remarked.
"She really shouldn't," Bucky scoffed, taking a swig of his beer.
"And why's that?"
Bucky threw him an incredulous look.
"Look at me, Sam. I'm a mess! Who in their right mind would want someone like me?"
"Y/N, apparently,"
"I'm serious. What if I fuck this up and she ends up hating me? What if she finally sees me for the monster I really am!?"
"You really believe she's gonna think that? She knows you, man, and she knows your past. Unless you do something really bad like cheat, she won't be going anywhere,"
Bucky tensed his jaw as he considered Sam's words and fought the internal battle he'd been waging since he and Y/N had nearly kissed.
He'd wanted to kiss her so badly, but something inside of him snapped and he couldn't bring himself to do it. There was so much at risk, their friendship, her feelings - hurting people was a speciality of his and he knew that if he let her in it would only be a matter of time before he hurt her, too.
"How long are you gonna keep punishing yourself for your past, dude?" Sam asked, and he put a reassuring hand on Bucky's shoulder. "If anyone deserves happiness, it's you. Don't let it pass you by just because you believe that's what you deserve."
He gave Bucky's shoulder a squeeze before getting up and rejoining the others.
Bucky sat in quiet contemplation, thinking carefully about what Sam had said. He was loath to admit it, but the guy had a point, and in the end it helped Bucky make his decision. Downing the last of his beer for courage, he got to his feet and marched towards you before he had the chance to chicken out.
°°°
You'd been talking to Wanda when her attention shifted onto something, or rather someone, behind you, and she smiled knowingly before walking away. You hadn't expected to see Bucky when you turned around.
"I know I've been an idiot," he blurted, before you could even speak. "And I'm sorry for ignoring you all this time - it's no excuse, but I got in my own head and assumed it was better for you if I stayed away."
"Isn't it my choice to determine what's best for me?" You quipped as you folded your arms across your chest.
"Of course it is, and I'm sorry I made that decision for you…it's just…I like you, a lot, but it's been so long since I've felt this way and I got scared that I'd mess everything up."
Of all the outcomes you'd conjured up as to why he'd stayed away, you'd never once considered that it might have been because he was scared. Your heart broke for Bucky as you realised just how difficult opening up to someone must be after everything he'd been through - there was no way you could stay mad at him after that confession. Besides, even if you'd wanted to, his puppy dog eyes made it impossible.
"You went about this the completely wrong way," you reprimanded, raising a disapproving eyebrow. You'd already forgiven him, but you were going to make him sweat a little before you told him that.
"I know, doll, and I can't apologise enough."
"But I hope you've learned from this," you continued, uncrossing your arms to close the space between you and hold his hands. Hope ignited in his eyes as your expression softened and you couldn't resist a coy smile.
"Oh, I definitely have," he breathed, not daring to look away or let go of your hands in fear he'd lose you forever.
"Because it just so happens that I like you a lot, too," you finished, biting your lip as your nerves got the better of you.
At the sound of your confession, Bucky Barnes - former Winter Soldier and well-renowned hard ass - blushed.
"You'll finish me off saying things like that, doll," he mused.
There was no longer any doubt that he could hear your heartbeat - it was pounding so fast at this point that you were sure it was going to burst out of your chest.
"Do you think maybe we could try this again?" He tentatively asked, removing his hands from yours so that he could cup your face.
"As long as you don't run away this time," you teased, grabbing the lapels of his leather jacket and pulling him ever closer.
"I wouldn't dream of it, sugar," he murmured, closing the remaining distance between you and pressing his lips to yours.
It was a month late, but it was well worth the wait.
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