#powerless to fix things

[transmechanicus]

Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.

#my stuff #i feel soooo bad talking to my therapist about the same topics over multiple weeks #like i feel like they're sooo sick of it like damn can this bitch get Over It alreadyyyy #hi yes actually can we talk about the near catastrophic sense of betrayal and loss that has haunted my soul for over a month? #can we talk about how I overcompensate for other's possible feelings and emotions to desperately mask my terror at feeling out of control #can we talk about how even when I know ppl acted with logical reasons necessary for their situation it still hurt me? #and that this pain fills me up with so much anger and frustration that I'm powerless to put anywhere that won't hurt someone #so it just cooks me inside and makes me grind my teeth constantly for weeks #im so angry i did not deserve to be treated like this it's not fair and I have no capacity to fix it or control when it feels better #i just have to survive and wait until i forget about it and hope they don't decide to reach out and fuck it all up #cause i can see that happening #i'll finally be free of thinking about them and generally going about my day unbothered and they'll ask to get coffee or something #and I have no idea what I should do in that scenario. because I don't think we can be friends. #and you have not treated me with the compassion and warmth I treated you #i would want to say mean things. hurtful things. I would want to bite back for once. #and that's not me. that's not who I want to be. #i don't wanna see you. go away. don't talk to me if you're not going to make the pain go away.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

two wrongs WILL make a right! ive got another lease on life, and im using it well, who cares if this is all fucked up cause we're all GOING TO HELL! IM JUST WILLIAM WHO SHOULD BE DEAD, HAD TO FOLLOW THE THREAD, thought he was just chillin! now he is a villain! HES ALWAYS SUCH A BUMMER, HE WANTS TO TRUST HIS BROTHER WILLIAM IN A HALLWAY BY HIMSEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi pd spoilers #william wisp #RRAAHHHHGH I KNOW THEIR LIL PARODY OF MICHEAL IN A BATHROOM OR WHATEV WAS SLIGHTLY COMEDIC. LIKE WIWI IN A HALLWAY #HAHAAA HIS NAME IS WIWI ISNT THAT FUNNY. ISNT THAT FUCKIN FUNNY. AND YYYEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT!!! #WILLIAM IS SO FUCKIN SAD DUDE... ESPECIALLY DURING THE GRAYSCALE ARC. HE REALLY THINKS HES BETTER OFF DEAD. #HIS FIRST DEATH WAS AN ACCIDENT! AND THEN HE WAS SADDLED WITH ALL SORTS OF POWERS AND RESPONSIBILITY HE DIDNT FUCKIN WAANT #AND IT TURNS OUT HES STILL DEAD! HIS BODY IS ROTTING AND FALLING APART AS WE SPEAK!! THATS SO FUCKING SCARY!!! #BUT THEN. OOOHH BUT THEN HIS WONDERFUL FRIEND DAKOTA TELLS HIM. ILL GIVE YOU MY HEART SO YOU CAN LIVE AGAIN. AND IT WORKS!!! #WILLIAM ACCEPTS LIFE AND REJECTS THE WISP POWERS AND FEELS SO SO THANKFUL TO HIS WONDERFUL BEST FRIEND DAKOTA. #A DEBT TO REPAY EVEN IF DAKOTA WILL NEVER CASH IN ON IT. HES JUST A PERFECT HERO LIKE THAT.. BUT WILLIAM.. OHH ROTTING LIL WILLIAM.. #EVEN WITH NEW BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH HIM HES STILL DEAD INSIDE. HES STILL USELESS. POWERLESS. SELFISH AND IMPULSIVE AND STUPID AND JUST. #NOT A HERO. WHICH IS FINE! IF ONLY HE WAS A GOOD ENOUGH PERSON TO RETURN THE FAVOR TO DAKOTA THOUGH. BUT HES NOT. HE DOESNT THINK SO. #WILIAM REALLY BELIEVES THAT HE IS FORSAKING EVERY GIFT OF LIFE HE HAS BEEN GIVEN. HE THINKS HE SHOULD BE DEAD BUT HES TOO SCARED TO DIE #JUST FAR TOO SCARED.. OF EVERYTHING.... WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT BRINGS US HERE. I GUESS THE GOOD NEWS IS THEYLL FORGET. #HE JUST WANTED TO TRUST HIS BROTHER. HE WANTED TO HAVE A BROTHER AND FIX THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND HONESTLY? #I THINK I WOULD DO THE SAME THING IN HIS SITUATION. MAYBE USE MY WORDS BETTER BUT YKNOW. THATS HIS BROTHER!!! #OKAy okay william makes me sooo EMOTIONAL but now ill mention the ART #THIS WAS Aboutthe time i actually figured out how to draw the white streak in williams hair. IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH ORIGINALLY but imPROU #AND THE SHARP SPIRALS!! I LOVE THE SHARP SPIRALS. I LOVE DRAWING HIS HAIR JUST IN GENERAL... I JUS LOVE DRAWIN WIWI... #OHH And xavior... poor xavior... theyre still looking for cantrip arent they? they have no idea where she is..and DAVID YOU BIIITCH #david bell is such a good fucking antagonist. he COMPLETELY believes himself to be in the right and bizly plays him SO WELLL!! #BECAUSE HES SMART!! AND SMART PEOPLE CAN LOGIC THEIR WAY THROUGH ANYTHING! THATS WHY SMART PPL FALL INTO CULTS TOO! #BC A SMART PERSON CAN FIND A GOOD WAY TO JUSTIFY ALMOST ANYTHING TO THEMSELF. DAVID IS SMART AND THATS SCAARRYYYY... #IM So excited to see the consequences of williams actions carry on into season 3. i hope they contact allen and exavior and do. idk. someth

[likeasaltedwound]

sometimes i think about how sam was always meant to outlive dean and how HARD he tried to change that. His big brother is dying of a heart attack, his big brother is dying of a car crash, his big brother is dying over and over on tuesday, his big brother is dying by the hellhounds, his big brother is dying by his hand, his big brother is dying in a barn and i just. fuck. your elder brother will always die first, that's the way it's supposed to go kid.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #just FUCK!!! it makes me insane #not to discredit the amount of times sam died and was brought back/similar by dean #but with dean there's a distinct sense he's fixing something that's not MEANT to happen #sam is not meant to be put in a supernatural gauntlet and he sure as hell is not supposed to jump in hell #dean avoiding sam's death feels almost like the natural course of action bc the baby brother is not supposed to die #and specially not by these magical fatalities #while sam is the opposite the very thing he's trying to avoid feels like how things were always meant to be #he can rewrite and reshape their story all he wants but its so POWERLESS and most importantly so pointless #supernatural meta #if this makes a scrap of sense

[soldier-poet-king]

Unmitigated and unreasonable distress!!!!!!! An incomplete list of things that did not fix it: crafting, tge audiobook, TWO mangas, a coffee, a snack, laying outside in the 40C humidity in direct sun like god intended and absorbing all the sunlight to store up for the Long Winter ahead, a shower, so much water

I'm just. AH.

#franposting #literally im just. bitch what is WRONG WHY ARE U LIKE THIS #everything is bad and i am powerless to changr anything and i think thats why im antsy #i SHOULD eat smthn more substantial #but have u considered. all the food in the house is bad and illegal #idk what specifically i want to eat but i KNOW its not this #and everything is gross food is gross except the once specific thing im craving but idk what it is #<-is SO mentally ill. the food thing only happens when im relapsing. but like. whats a bitch to do #i cant even go to the grocery store bc its closed for the holiday (as it should be!) #but i was sad and tired and didnt go all weekend or do meal prep #and so now my options are Extremely limited #F U C K #Aand i have to go to work tmrw and for some reason that makes me want to bawl #once again. being in control of my routine and living space vould fix this. but at what cost #(the cost is insane rent in this economy. if i stay here i can pay off all my student loans by this time next year)

[scalpho]

maybe I’m just a lil bitch, but I was honestly expecting to see more jealous and resentment towards the system with the bad kids what with people succeeding and failing a lot in constrast to each other. If I was adaine or Kristen or gorgug I would be out there burning down banks

no i get it i think you're onto something. i am always encouraging characters to get mad righteously or otherwise and i think in the case of the bad kids it's certainly the former. i'd like to see more jealously and resentment and property destruction if they wanna treat us but i think it probably at least partially has to do with what tbk have the capacity for right now. they have so much on their plates literally and emotionally and taking their issues up with The System (even though it is the root of many of their problems) is. abstract and difficult and not going to yield them the immediate productive results they need. it's all terribly unfair but trying to fix the unfairness is so much harder than chipping away at what they have with what they've got. that being said i do think they should scream and punch walls more probably

#i'm reminded of aso when they initially planned to destroy repo reapers and get rid of debt and kill gunnie's problem at the Root #and then realised oh. that's a gargantuan task and we have a million other things to do #and it's awful and unfair but we can't. fix it. not now at least not easily. we just have to take what we can get #we can't uproot the tree so we'll just cut off the branch we need (paying off gunnie's debt) and move on #and tbk feel similarly overwhelmed and busy and powerless methinks #ask tag

[lady-lessobian]

Really starting to hate that genre of post that's just like "not to be pessimistic or defeatist but literally everything is bad and there's absolutely nothing you can do. And you're weak and morally bad if you let this stress you out person or get you down. I will offer no help or solution."

#personal #vent #delete later #sorry but based on what everyones saying whats thr point in NOT giving up? #literally nothing can change and were powerless #also things that are like oh ur early 20s are bad wait until your late 20s. oh your late 20s are bad wait until your 30s. oh your 30s are- #fucking hell! fucking hell! #the planet is burning. people are being killed senselessly despite the war being unsupported by nearly the entire world #weve been boycotting weve been sharing posts and protesting and maybe companies are losing money but bombs are still dropping #and the most hopeless presidential race ever god. everything about that #its all doomed from the start. theres nothing we can or could ever do to fix this place. why even bother #the only good news is 'x amount of trash removed from the ocean' and the bad is literal hell on earth #we cant save it we cant do anything #it feels like the end of the world is at our doorstep #doesnt help that 2023 has been the worst year of my life personally #drawing is hard now

[veresiine]

We're at real "ask not for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee" hours, huh.

#veresiine irl #everything ripples out #death is not a guarantee in either situation I'm in the periphery of right now but things are not looking good #and I'm once again frustrated by my own relative powerlessness #I can pray. I can drive. I can send money. I can make and give good-luck charms and food. I can be a shoulder to cry on. #but I can't fix the problems #for one situation I am physically separated from my dear friend and do not have ENOUGH money to solve her situation that way #for the other situation I am physically nearby (even if it's quite a hike even in my very fuel-efficient car) #but most of the outcome is in God's hands with nothing we can do but offer comfort #so glad my higher doses of antidepressants are finally kicking in because I can't imagine facing down this weekend without them

[carnageacorn]

ive been renting in portland for a very long time but this time is the time that has Radicalized me past the point of being polite i guess.

#IDK what the point is of bitching abt all the new awful things places are doing to make it hard 2 rent from them #any of yall in a major metro know it !!!! #GOD did u kno el problemo es capitalisimo??????? #and did u know im POWERLESS to fix it????????? #bonkers awful news on two fronts #i am trying so hard to ride the line of not being rude to the poor employees i am speaking to VS not trying to shut up about Evil #HIT AND MISS ON THAT FRONT #but #2 me #working FOR one of these companies at all is like. not super ethical actually #so whatever maybe get a different better job if you dont want me to get pissed about ur evil company!!!!

[jimkirkachu]

spending literal hours trying to make your brain stop doomscrolling through its own dashboard of chaos, cruelty, and catastrophizing

#priceless #insomnia #headache #anxiety #doomscrolling #catastrophizing #sleepless night #existential dread #world news #current events #hopelessness #despair #anxious thoughts #depressing thoughts #early morning thoughts #intrusive thoughts #spiralling #why am i like this #somebody punch me in the fucking face #feeling responsible for every single thing wrong with the world but knowing i'm powerless to fix any of it #ocd #depression #i'm sorry i'm like this #not trek #personal log #soul sick #heartsick #jtkchu's brain #jtkchu is toxic #stfu jtkchu

[chaseprice]

I am sick

#I am just powerless I am just sitting at the bottom of a well and there’s no way out and I can’t help and I can’t do anything #I can’t live i can’t talk everything is falling apart and I don’t know what to do #there’s nothing to do I’m done #I’m crumbling #no solutions are ever viable and I don’t have any knowledge or experience and I feel responsible I am responsible and there’s nothing to do #I feel like a failure and feel like I’m going to lose everything and it’s too much #I have to be the shell #I have to be ok #I have to lose #I can’t talk to my therapist about this because it feels there is nothing that can be done #I don’t think there is #anything that I say makes things worse and I don’t know what to do with it where to put it #I’m just stuck in my bed I can’t and shouldn’t do anything anymore I wish I didn’t exist #I can’t handle the fact that I can’t help #I can’t handle not being able to fix this #I’m splitting apart at the seams and I can’t do fucking anything

[skyllion-uwu]

I have discovered many gamer themed euphisms for sex with this one song

#sorry i said i was gonna sleep but i cant #so i got caught up listening to this s3rl song on repeat! its called be my gamerboy. if you wanna hear gamer euphisms #sky screams into the void #also uh. i am wishing i could magically heal and fix things but i cant and it makes me feel powerless #like yeah i can do as much as i can but that doesnt fix it all and it SUCKS!!!!! #this isnt about anyone or anything in particular a lot is going on with me and everyone else #fuck. its 11:48 pm. im gonna log off and try sleeping again #actually now this is more of a #sky vents like amogus

[monstermoviedean]

.

#just a personal vent here #i already saw an insta post saying now it's time for all of us to fight like hell #and i'm so tired of hearing it. #because how? how am i supposed to fight this? #i vote. i donate to pro-choice orgs. i have absolutely no power to decide the makeup of the supreme court. #and I'm so tired of hearing vote vote vote vote vote vote vote as if it fixes anything on a systemic scale #i believe in the power of voting to influence local and occasionally state elections. but on a national scale? #to be clear i always have voted and will continue to vote but #I'm sick of voting being propped up as the solution to everything when it does not impact the most intentionally corrupt and harmful parts #of the american government #'they want you to feel powerless don't let them win' ok well. i do feel powerless. show me where I have meaningful power that can actually #effect systemic change. #i know people talking about fighting have their hearts in the right place but i'm sick of being told that it's on me to change things #when there are some things i can't change #it shifts the blame off the system and onto individuals #happy to talk if anyone wants to I just had to get this out

[allgather]

i am really interested in writing and exploring young characters who embody the acute helplessness of what it feels like to be a kid in a world where they are smart enough to see what’s wrong and what’s bad and what harms people. and are smart enough to see solutions. but are too small, too individually powerless to fix it. and yet they say, “no, actually, i’m not” and fight to make things better anyways. maybe futilely, maybe not, but they fight for that better future with all the hope and desperation their body can hold.

#this post is abt pidge & angus #bc its a beautiful theme that i see them both embody so strongly #angus strays more towards hope and warmth and pidge moves into like desperate hope but #they both feel powerless bc they're kids and they both refuse to let that powerlessness immobilize them #'i'm smart enough to fix things and if you won't listen to me i will make it happen myself'

[campirebites]

.

#the universe is a pile of shit I just wish I was less powerless to help my friends #I’m still having a good day #hust tired of watching my friends experience things and only be able to go ‘sorry that sucks :(‘ #why can’t I jusf fix things #why can’t I just like help my friends #i know why #I just wish I could do more #this universe is shit because no matter what I do my friends are still suffering #i wish I was more #i wish I was more successful #i wish I was more capable #i wish I was less disabled #i wish I eas less incapable I #i wish I could help the people I love more #ugh anyway #just needed to scream I just wish I could fix things #i just want to help and make things better for the people I love but I fucking can’t ans it makes me want to scream #evryone I know is dealing with somethign and I can’t even help ONE of them

[suttttton]

me 🤝 my mom undiagnosed anxiety disorders

#the older i get the clearer it becomes that me and my mom catastrophize about things very similarly #difference is i found healthy coping mechanisms while my mom found homophobic death cult evangelical christianity #of course this realization makes me feel very bad for my mom because like. i get it. #she tells me that she worries about me and i know she doesn't mean the normal way moms worry about their kids i know she actually means #that she has a creeping suspicion that my life choices are going to send me to hell and she feels powerless to stop it #and her brain will not let her think about anything else so 24/7 its just alarms blaring #and because she's constructed her entire belief system around having anxiety she's like. this fear i feel is a message from god. #and i have no idea how to help her #like???? #she's literally believed these things fro her entire life giving them up feels like the end of the world #and her WHOLE FAMILY is there with her so even if she could realize she'd be happier without these beliefs #she'd immediately have a dozen trusted voices telling her no actually. your anxiety is correct and you're right to afraid all the time #for awhile when i was like. 18-19. the major question i had about my childhood was WHY didn't my mom never take me to therapy #because yeah okay she came from a culture where therapy isn't trusted and god is supposed to fix all your mental illnesses #but she read all the parenting books and universally took experts' advice over what she'd learned from her own parents #(because she knew her parents hadn't done a great job and didn't want to repeat their mistakes) #and she KNEW i was REALLY bad. i was crying all the time having her drive me to the bookstore to get books i thought might help #sending myself into anxious spirals if anyone mentioned death around me #not a fun time in my life or her life #and she DID take me to talk to my pediatrician about it so like??? why did we never see a therapist??? #i was 9 i though there was just nothing that could be done but???????? #but now i realize that what happened to me back then didn't really scan in my mother's head as something wrong with me #because she was the same way #:/

[jeveuxmeplaindre]

./

#I seriously wish that some alien or whatever would come a kidnap me and I could then travel the galaxy #Because this life right here? Absolutely miserable #I hate every second of it #And im trying to look at the positives but i fucking see none #I just feel fucking trapped in an area I don't like #Fucking courses I dont like #Fucking jobs I don't like #Hobbies I'm bored of #Waiting on stupid fucking authorities to give me an answer so that I can do a degree I dont want #I am so miserable #I hate being awake and I hate going to sleep because I know I'll have to wake up #I mean I don't even like this goddamn country anymore #And im so fucking pissed off st everything #I just hoped that I would feel differently about things I've been wanting to get done for years #But it honestly has just made me feel awful #And I am do powerless to fix it because I have no ability to physically leave #I just want to fucking leave and be alone #Has it even been just these past few years too or has it been longer #Cause I don't remember the last time I was actually happy and content for more than 2 days #I was like depressed as a child #How awesome #That it has traveled into adulthood #And no I don't want to be in a fucking class with 16 year Olds!!!!! Fuck !!!