#preferred terminology

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system has alters who no longer identify with being a fictive for a variety of reasons.]

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#userbox #did #system #did system #osdd1 #osdd1 system #anti endo #endos dni #fictive #preferred terminology #preferred terms #boundary #boundaries #mod morpho 🦋

[mental-mona]

#lgbt #lgbtq+ #lgbt vocabulary #lgbt terminology #vocabulary #definitions #pride month #pride #happy pride 🌈 #preferred terminology #terminology

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

We're coming up on "ace people are Very Welcome in kink communities acktschually" season so I would just like to make sure that everyone knows that this might be true for a certain type of ace person and a certain type of kink community, but maybe we shouldn't universalize that experience

honestly we should stop presenting the highly stylized, highly psychosexual environment of the kink community as a one size fits all solution for basic human problems like "I would like to be able to communicate more honestly about my relationship preferences" or "I have a need for validation from an authority figure". like. I think we should encourage a wide variety of different solutions for those problems actually and I don't think all of them should exist under the umbrella of kink

#asexuality #crossover with trustedcompanionship lol #my aroace ass who is interested in power exchange But Not Like That definitely did not feel welcome in the kink community #when I attempted to fit into it #which is part of why I had to create my own terminology and paradigm for the kinds of relationships I prefer

[p2ii]

have you considered that maybe that trans guy isnt a girl actually

(exclutionists/anti 'contradictory' labels/etc dni)

#This isn't about trans guys who ARE girls or lesbians or whatever. Or trans guys who CHOOSE to use feminine terminology. Or otherwise how #-trans guys THEMSELVES choose to exist #this IS about the whole 'bbg'/'wife'/'mother'/'this too is yuri' attitude around trans men and transmasc characters/headcanons to the point #i wonder if yall would prefer if we were just women #like seriously #(again. not about trans men in refference to themselves) #psii.txt #transandrophobia #transmasc #trans man #trans mtf #trans headcanon #transmasc headcanon

[fandomsoda]

as I’ve become more aware of the ways people villainize cluster B disorders and have been able to pick up on/notice when people say that type of stuff, the more I realize that people just literally think narcissistic people are flat-out evil and it’s disturbing to me how even neurodivergent people can be so dismissive/cruel to other disordered individuals!? Having NPD doesn’t make you an abuser or a bad person wtf people

I hope all the NPD people out there know that they are loved and valid and I hope y’all have a good day and don’t have to hear shit at least for today.

#text post #soda rambles #mentally ill solidarity #disordered solidarity #If any of the terminology I used/way I structured how things were said are inaccurate/not preferred lmk #what I mean is if “NPD people” isn’t a correct term or anything else like that just lmk and I’ll fix it

[akashiserizawa]

mahoyaku is one of the best stories ive ever read and it is also the hardest sell possible. yes the fantasy isekai gacha game changed my life. yes the gameplay is a grindfest. yes the best translation of the main story is only accessible via wayback machine. yes you have to consult a spreadsheet to find the majority of translations after that. yes it is all worth it i promise

#thats not to say the healingbonds translation is bad mind you #i just personally prefer some of the terminology used in mahoyaku-eng

[bijoumikhawal]

Coptic lesbians (inspired by @felrija's work)

#cipher talk #actually egyptian tag #my art #Masr #Might do an ink & color of this eventually #What does one call a lesbian in Coptic. We have ⲧⲣⲓⲃⲁ so tribade does calque p much directly #But I think we could be more inventive. ⲧⲣⲓⲃⲁⲕⲣⲓⲛⲟⲛ perhaps #Though I am biased to prefer to create de-Hellenized terminology and that's all Greek influence on the language right there

[anti-transphobia]

Just found out about the transunitism tag and I'm having a ball seeing posts from trans people that don't want other trans people dead for arbitrary reasons

#wish we had this transunitism shit BACK IN MY DAY #thats a joke/exaggeration. the infighting was NOT this bad just 5 years ago #it's horrendously bad as people pretend they're focusing on the 'real world problems'.....by getting wrapped up in internet discourse #and terminology #and wasting their time and energy hating other trans people based on hypothetical ideas of what their experiences should be #instead of caring about the actual oppression we all face #anyway me saying i wish we had this back in my day i mean things like the trans run 'bad trans people blog' that had a majority of posts #be about me and how i was a fake trans troll made to make people look bad #because i did the worst thing in the world: be an annoying 15 year old #one of the mods was an ex friend too. ppl will misgender you and doubt your identity because you were annoying or disagreed about something #most of these people were grown ass adults too. but w/e #anyway thats the sort of shit i was referring with my initial tag but honestly. i prefer that to the current state of #the online trans community

[pillowprincessvarric]

People keep trying to make airborne virus prevention measures and rhetoric & STD prevention measures and rhetoric track one-to-one with each other and I don't know how to explain to them that that's never going to work or make sense because "having sex" and "being where other people are and breathing as well" are actually very different activities.

#there are some things that we could be taking notes on from STD prevention though #the reasons for ''safeR sex'' being the preferred terminology. for example. #though weirdly no one ever wants to

[divinekangaroo]

Was thinking a bit deeper on @deadendtracks query https://www.tumblr.com/divinekangaroo/740003125539307520/i-clipped-this-from-your-post-because-its-easier?source=share

Snipped for sex talk, and also to spare any disinterested parties my naiveity on complex matters such as: subaltern/Orientalism/exoticism/Othering/ethnic talk etc

In hindsight I think I answered that query as a ‘possible authorial intent’ - speculatively, to subvert the usual gangster trope by displaying macho-ish behaviours (sex! whores!) but flipping motivation and outcome.

But there's also something else that's been churning away at the back of my head, the term subaltern. "the most powerless people living within the socio-economic confines of imperialism" -- and this imperialist overlay that often assigns the devious, deviant, dark, scheming/conniving/machavellian/feminine characteristics to the subaltern man, too, because it is exotic.

I haven't properly structured an argument around this; I feel a lot of T's approach to sex has that almost woman-coded thing to it, as signifiers of an even-further-disadvantaged man. It nags at me and feels that this also ties into this subaltern, semi-'Orientalist' / exotic layer he has as 'lower than the lowest class' / 'actually so low class he's outside of class' Romani character -> less of a stereotype, more of a conscious consideration of "if you have nothing, you will use everything you can, and sometimes that includes your own body, and guess what here's the bind: that kinda puts you even *lower* in the hierarchy, because women are lower than men and only women use their bodies that way!"

Gut instinct, barely unpacked: there's an imperialist/cultural/ethnic trauma that feels like it can't be detached from Tommy's sexuality/approach to sex any more than the hints of childhood trauma or abuse can be, either. Especially when you consider childhood as his closest time still connected to the living Romani culture, as opposed to by the time we see him on screen when his interactions with his culture are static and based on childhood/broken memories. I was initially put off by the Romani layer because it felt like a stereotype - gangs followed ethnic lines so let's just apply an ethnicity that's ~exotic~ - but the later series re-frame the earlier approach into something that shows it was almost never intended to be a representation of the culture but rather, more like Tommy's particular (distorted, damaged) view.

----

But then also answering the personal side of the question RE: Tommy's character. What does it mean for a person/individual to be so transactional and detached from sex yet participatory towards it?

This gets a little more headcanon-y:

T started having sex or being sexualised (seeing/experiencing sex) really young in a less than affectionate way - more like, here is a thing that must be done for some other action to happen (or be diverted).

Because of this, I can’t ever see him permitting himself to perform that ‘hungry to totally surrender his control and desires to someone else’ role so frequently given to him in fanon. What happened with Tatiana was an exception, not a rule. It’s nice to read for various reasons, but I'm unlikely to personally lean into this take. Not to say he's dominating or must be fully in control during sex, either, just that I think he'd avoid leaning into surrender because it'd be like losing total control of a transaction and becoming far too vulnerable.

Despite that I do feel he has an urge for connection/intimacy, I think he struggles with actually connecting deeply with people, reading sexual cues/flirtation or the like. In some ways, he connects too deeply and therefore holds back? I did have thoughts along the asexual line. He likes certain people, and he mostly enjoys the physical act of sex, and these two things can overlap to ‘I would like sex with this certain person’, but there’s a big gap between the two. Deep connection is unrelated to sex. Can't read flirt cues to the point he leapfrogs straight to the 'do you want to fuck?' almost as an abstraction because he can never decode the in-between steps?

Notwithstanding any deep connection, sex is still considered/framed as duty and obligation. His approach with Lizzie in S6 as case in point; he is conscious of his role and considers it a thing that must be performed to satisfy that role. Even S5, it feels like a 'seal the deal' sex exchange; he knows she likes it, she just told him so and that it's important to her, so all right, he's going to let loose.

This difficulty with 'is this connection? not sure?' is one reason why I think he is mostly about family (he can take connection for granted and has had a really really long time to build it). He also has a surprisingly large *respectful* but superficial network (he knows the right behaviours but rarely gets personal), very few close friends (honestly is this just Alfie? Maybe, once, Freddie and Barney? even Johnny Dogs and Uncle Charlie are subordinate). Which lends itself very effectively to leadership, to be honest, but also loneliness: again it feels like he's performing connection.

I really struggle with picturing him feeling much physical attraction without consciously focusing on it. He seems to spark for people (or maybe situations/dynamics - classy women?) not their physical, and when I’m in headcanon mode, it’s familiarity that builds his fondness for certain aspects of a person's physicality, rather than their physicality attracting him initially. So either he wants sex (release) and it's not really relevant who with, or he wants the person and sex is acceptable/better with that person. And there's a conscious switch in his head like, "ok now paying attention to physical attraction because must have sex" or "switch it off not important right now"

#more rambling sorry #some of these might be considered trauma responses but my preference is to think he is/was always going to be this way *somewhat* #because he is this way.the particular traumas he went through were able to be framed in ways that allowed him to continue…for a while #i try to avoid the trope of 'ah traumatic sexually fraught childhood=sexually destroyed forever' #i'm constantly trying to write my take on these as Him.not Consequential Trauma Reactions per Mccaffreyism ‘anal turns het men gay’ approac #of course the trauma embeds and distorts relationships and behaviours in other ways so it's not always simple or without overlap #I still long for some decent meta on the Romani.ethnicity.imperialism layer but without uni-level analytical terminology feel like-- #i'd have to out myself for pseudoauthority to write it. so i try to write it into stories and instead think wistfully-- #--about the strangeness of finding imperialist cultural alienation reflections/recognitions in *this* sort of media of all things XD

[sysboxes]

[Text: This user does not feel comfortable being referred to as plural.]

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#userbox #did #system #did system #osdd1 #osdd1 system #anti endo #endos dni #boundaries #boundary #preferred terminology #terminology #terms #mod morpho 🦋

[uncanny-tranny]

My favourite activity is blowing cis peoples' minds with educating them about different aspects of being trans and transition. It never ceases to entertain

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #i had a great conversation with my dad about transvesticism and transgenderism #he was expressing that he thought it would be offensive for trans people if people cross-dressed and whatnot #and i brought up an awesome trans male drag queen because he illustrated that presentation ≠ gender inherently #and that the struggles of gnc people and trans people are often linked #(used the word transvestite because last month i was talking about how trans terminology evolved over time) #(and that transvestites are then what we might call transgender people today) #(though there are plenty of people who lived during the time when they were called transvestites and they prefer to be called that) #(don't worry he knows that it's technically outdated to use and could even be offensive to call somebody else w/o permission)

[mantisgodsdomain]

We do think that Riz is a gynandromorph of some description, especially since damselfly sexual dimorphism tends to be pretty distinct and he's displaying a very unconventional morph for a damselfly of any flavor. He would have no goddamned clue what that would mean, of course, and he probably wouldn't care about it if you told him, but he's definitely got something going on there.

#we speak #bug fables #for reference its a Thing for damselflies to have mimicry in the form of Females Who Look Like Males #but its a one-way street. theres no equivalent female-mimic morph for males #which makes riz Extremely Notable since hes displaying a real clear female morph there #and though being transgender would be very much possible for him we prefer this option #especially since it also offers extra reason why he's got such a broad palette compared to his sister and his father #guy is Unusually Big for a male damselfly and just didnt think twice about it. he feels like the sort of guy who just #wouldnt care overly much for self-definition we think. hes got a job to do. do you think he cares about how rare his genes are? #for his sister there is literally no way to tell if shes transfem or just a mimic morph and tbh good for her #we'll. drop some comparison images in a reblog for the irl damselflies #but in general we favor this one both bc it appeals to us more and bc riz just feels like the sort of guy who wouldnt care much abt gender #like. even if he were trans he feels like the sort of guy who would tell like three people about his pronouns #and then just go about his day and either they tell people or they dont and he doesnt particularly care either way #hes got things to do. traps to build. yes hes a guy but what is the point of making a thing out of it when theres poachers to deal with #he feels like the sort of dude to be Cis Guy enough that hes entirely confused as to what ur talking about if u try and misgender him #no clue where youre coming from but youre wrong #anyways back to spear fighting 101 #(note: male and female used here as in the arbitrary sex categories. its the junk. we know its not accurate to being A People) #(its the terminology we've got in the back drawer)

[exhausted-archivist]

On the topic of the inherent racism in the Qun and its people, with how baked in racism is, you can't buff it out and reformat. You can't remove it, and BioWare has only been doubling down on it up to Tevinter Nights in 2020. Which means you need to be careful with how you interact and build on it. At least that is how I approach it, in general I don't like to engage with it because it's just so difficult and not in any thought provoking or insightful way. So I refrain from doing so as much as possible in public spaces anyways, because it is so inherently unsafe for me to do so. From an interaction with fandom level, but also on a personal level because some of it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

I am extremely weary of how da4 is going to portray them, I hope it will be better since the writing team has been moved around and there have been some acknowledgements on poor writing of stereotypes and biases in 2020. Which I take with a salt mine worth of salt, especially with the way the new comics like the Missing having lingering themes and stereotypes remaining. How Patrick Weekes described the rebelling antaam in Three Trees to Midnight (Tevinter Nights 2020) was the biggest red flag, followed by the yellow flag from As We Fly short story by Lukas Kristjanson (short story 2023).

With how BioWare has racism and harmful elements baked into the Qun and people in general it is going to difficult for them to fully separate it, update it, or reformat it. But I hope they do. I hope that they actually attempt to make it better like they have suggested they would. Because it is so harmful and they should. I don't think they'll get it right on the first try, but I hope they try. It won't magically fix the racism in the fandom but I would like to not feel the need to crawl out of my skin when playing a vashoth. I would like to see the franchise grow and become better than it started out as. I don't want it to stay stagnant for the sake of "consistency" which it doesn't have by design.

#archi yelling into the void #fandom critical #bioware critical #This is a little out of the norm but genuinely that post about the cow ears rattled me #And the tags in there weren't much better at times. Some of you really say some things with your whole chest #I don't play as a vashoth in Inquisition for too long because it is inherently more hostile than any other inquisitor #you're regularly called a slur. there is no care to your preferred terminology or identity. #Not even Bull who makes it abundantly clear how important terminology is with identity is even consistent with it #You're literally called all three terms we have for the horned people at some point. Qunari/tal-vashoth/vashoth. #The codex for adaar calls you vashoth. Most NPCs call you qunari or a slur. Bull calls you both Qunari and tal-vashoth. #even though he makes the distinction between the two in a conversation with Adaar going as far as to tell them they AREN'T Qunari. #Genuinely kicks up some intense feelings with how shitty BioWare portrays the Qun and those horned people in general. #Both in stereotypes and in how they don't care about the lore. BioWare isn't known for consistency or even reliable narratives #But every other race and group gets the respect of preferred terminology. They get the time to correct you ex) Dorian being called magister #But BioWare doesn't care to enforce or even let the player enforce the difference between qunari/tal-vashoth/vashoth. #Like I said I have feelings about this. Because it feels like it extends past the unreliable narrator or character bias/ignorance/racism

[eternalvanitas]

sometimes i sit down and wonder if im actually trans or if im just a liar and then i think about it for longer and realize it literally does not matter

#🗒 #im a man. i call myself a man. other ppl refer to me as a man. my siblings call me their brother. my mom calls me her son. #who givea shit #like even if im wrong at the end of the day 'this is my brother' still makes me happier to hear than 'this is my sister' #someone calling me their daughter / niece / granddaughter is still more irritating than anything else could be #sooo even if its just like a terminology preference or some shit why would that matter? #we stay silly and such

[laundrybiscuits]

Tagged by @zerokrox-blog! Not tagging anyone else because I am fundamentally a bad tumblr citizen. Do it if you like, I'm not your parent or guardian.

Putting this under a cut because it's not technically fandom content.

Three ships: I know this is a non-answer, but I tend to hyperfixate on one ship at a time, gnawing at it until I've got all the gristle and marrow I think I'm going to get. That said, I'm generally pretty willing to be sold on any given ship for the length of a fic.

Last song: I've just got back from the V&A's Hallyu/Korean Wave exhibit this afternoon, so I've pulled up some of my old kpop playlists; the song that's playing right now is Holland's I'm So Afraid.

Last movie: An indie cinema in Chinatown did a special showing of EEAAO last week, so of course I took the opportunity to drag a few friends along to see it again in 4k.

Currently reading: My friend recently lent me Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, and I finished it just in time to catch the staged version at the Barbican in a stunningly serendipitous coincidence.

Currently watching: Turns out the same friend who lent me the Tokarczuk has never seen We Are Lady Parts so I've been making her watch it. I highly HIGHLY recommend it for absolutely everyone—it's a charming, funny, clever, and incredibly well-produced six-episode series about an all-female Muslim punk band in London.

Currently consuming: What my bestie calls "diaspora buttered noodles" i.e. flat egg noodles with sesame oil, chili, and a bit of rocket/arugula to nod vaguely in the direction of vitamins and whatnot. I feel obliged to admit that I've also added some nutritional yeast; I'm not a vegan, but I've dated a number of vegans (yay queer dating) and it turns out I'm a freak who just...legitimately enjoys nutritional yeast more than cheese. I may get my American citizenship revoked for this, or at the very least my right to call myself a Midwesterner.

Currently craving: Time, energy, a girlfriend, take your pick.

#tag game #I generally have strong opinions on which UK/US(/Aus/NZ) terminology I prefer but I'm completely agnostic on rocket/arugula #rocket sounds excitingly cosmic! but arugula sounds like a bicycle horn! truly both excellent choices #also lol @ me whining about being single when I've just been too busy to date for the last few months #like. this is a situation where the problem is very blatantly me and my life choices. #I literally skipped out on a queer shindig tonight because I 'needed to write some emails' ffs #ETA: I said UK/US/Aus/NZ because those are the countries I've lived in & therefore the terms I've tended to pick up! #sry I realize that needed a bit of context