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nikethestatue22 hours ago
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Azriel and Elain as Padme and Anakin just in time for Halloween 馃巸
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Art: Jessdraw.s
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fawnandshadows2 days ago
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You Painted Me Golden 鈥 Chapter 5
Summary: 聽Elain enters her reputation era. This chapter includes: girl talk, confrontations, and聽first times.
This story can also be found on AO3
Rating: 18+
Warnings: NSFW
Chapter 5 鈥 I Did Something Bad
They say I did something bad 鈥 Then why鈥檚 it feel so good?
The silk sheets of Azriel鈥檚 bed clung to Elain鈥檚 sweaty back and the sound of the wooden bed frame hitting the wall rang out through the room 鈥 it was accompanied by Azriel鈥檚 heavy breathing, the high-pitched moans creeping out of Elain鈥檚 throat, and the repetitive slapping of skin as Azriel thrust into her. The hard bud鈥檚 of Elain鈥檚 breasts grazed against Azriel鈥檚 damp chest, she had just found out that night how sensitive they were, and Azriel wasn鈥檛 afraid to torture her with that information.
His rough hand grasped her left knee, the one with the evidence of their bargain marked upon it, and lifted her leg up higher. Elain鈥檚 scream reached an octave she didn鈥檛 know was possible as he reached deeper in her than ever before.
When she had knelt before him earlier that night in order to rid Azriel of his clothing, she was shocked at the sight of his cock 鈥 thick and veiny and glistening right before her eyes. The length startled her, and she suddenly wondered if she had gotten in over her head, but the deep moan Azriel let out as her fingers drifted over his sensitive skin caused her insides to warm and briefly swept away all her worries. Elain had the urge lick the blunt tip of him, and briefly thought about ignoring it, but the way his glazed, golden eyes stared down at her through heavy lids practically dared her to do it.
His hand fisted in her hair at the touch of her tongue, and he pulled her head back abruptly 鈥 otherwise he ran the risk of coming right there on her face, even though the image of Elain covered in his seed was deeply appealing. This was so like the dream he had while he was away that Azriel was almost convinced himself that he was dreaming again, but he wasn鈥檛. Azriel had forgotten his strength and accidentally jerked her head back a little too roughly, but the way Elain鈥檚 cheeks flushed and the small sound that escaped her told Azriel everything he needed to know. His little fawn liked it.
She looked at him with wide, trusting eyes and Azriel said, 鈥淲e have time to explore that later.鈥
Azriel had shadow-walked her home this morning back to the river house. He placed the most delicate of all kisses on her cheek and stepped away before the door opened to a fuming Rhysand.
鈥淕et. In. Here. Now.鈥 Rhysand said through clenched teeth, his violet eyes were spitting fire at Azriel. Elain felt a blush scorch her cheeks as she realized she hadn鈥檛 bathed since yesterday morning 鈥 everyone in the house could smell the evidence of what she and Azriel had done last night.
Elain quickly walked past her brother-in-law as he held the door open for her, and she noticed that Rhysand didn鈥檛 wait for Azriel. He followed her as she walked into the living room off to the side, where Feyre was sitting having tea. Her sister looked pale as she held a delicate, porcelain tea cup and stirred in her sugar. The faint tapping of the silver spoon echoed throughout the room as they waited for Azriel to join them, and Elain felt the sinking suspicion that she and Azriel were about to be scolded like a couple of teenagers.
Rhysand was clenching his jaw so tightly that Elain thought his teeth would shatter completely. He stood with crossed arms watching his Spymaster and sister-in-law. Elain knew exactly how they looked. They both wore the same clothing from yesterday; Elain鈥檚 blue dress had lost some of its luster and gained wrinkles and creases from where it laid at the foot of Azriel鈥檚 bed, there was even a tiny tear that appeared when Azriel had taken it off, and the bow tied at the back of her neck had gone limp. Her hair was knotted, tangled, and frizzed from the friction of Azriel鈥檚 pillow.
Azriel didn鈥檛 look too different. His clothes were oddly neat, but a pleased smile graced his lips.
鈥淲hat the fuck were you thinking?鈥 Rhysand growled, his violet eyes burning bright as he looked at them. They were a respectable distance apart, but only a fool wouldn鈥檛 be able to tell what they were doing just hours ago. Elain was certain that their scents were so laced together that no fae would be able to tell where one scent began and the other ended, especially with the heady smell of desire radiating off of them. Elain loved the aroma so much, the aroma of them that she wanted to bottle it into a perfume and wear it everyday.
Elain fought the urge to reach for Azriel鈥檚 hand for strength. If they were going to act like it was a one time thing she would have to distance herself. She took a deep breath.
鈥淚鈥檓 not sure how it鈥檚 any of your business.鈥 Elain said in a voice that wasn鈥檛 unkind and clasped her hands behind her back. She didn鈥檛 want anyone to see that they were shaking.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e our sister, Elain,鈥 Feyre said delicately from the couch with an expression of confusion and concern. 鈥淲e worry when you don鈥檛 come home.鈥
Nuala and Cerridwen must have kept her secrets.
鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 as if I met some random male, I was with Azriel,鈥 Elain said, her gaze flickered to him to see his stony expression. 鈥淚 was safe.鈥 If she didn鈥檛 know better she would have thought the words had no effect on him, but she did know better. His shoulders relaxed just a bit, and his hands were no longer fisted to the point of showing white knuckles, but they were still balled into fists at his sides.
Rhysand pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, and he was most likely counting to ten.
鈥淭hat is besides the point,鈥 Rhys grunted. He opened his eyes and ran an annoyed hand over his face. His glare fixated on Azriel. 鈥淎re you incapable of thinking without your cock?鈥
Azriel鈥檚 stare turned deadly, and Elain moved before the two brothers came to blows.
鈥淚t was my idea!鈥 She exclaimed, fury bubbled in veins. 鈥淚 was the one that suggested we leave and鈥︹ Her face burned under the eyes of her sister and brother-in-law. Elain wasn鈥檛 a prude, as Azriel was aware, but that didn鈥檛 mean she wanted ther family knowing the intimate details of her life. 鈥淚 was the one that wanted a night together. I鈥檝e been attracted to Azriel since I laid eyes on him, and I wanted to act on it.鈥
Rhysand turned green and looked vaguely disgusted. Feyre, however, looked more confused than ever.
鈥淎 night?鈥 Feyre asked.
鈥淵es,鈥 Elain said with confidence. 鈥淥ne night. We decided it would be for the best if we had one night together to get this鈥 attraction out of our system.鈥 Her stomach curdled at the lie and the heavy silence emanating from Azriel. He knew, Elain comforted herself, he knew that she was lying.
They say I did something bad 鈥 but why鈥檚 it feel so good?
鈥淚鈥檝e never done this before.鈥 Elain said as she straddled him. Azriel twisted them around, allowing Elain to rest on top of him 鈥 her breasts presented to his hungry eyes, and he delighted in the fact that her hair tried desperately to hide the rosy peaks that pebbled forward. Elain felt exposed on top of him like this, but the desire etched plainly on his face and the warm, firm hands that clasped her hips made her feel safe.
She felt his hardness slide against her slick center, and Elain was in awe of the fact that he was able to go again so soon after his release. Azriel鈥檚 stamina was added to the ever growing list of surprises that she discovered about him tonight.
His cock twitched and poked at her as Elain slid against him. The animalistic growl that came from his throat told her that he didn鈥檛 appreciate the way she was teasing him, so she bit her lip as she raised herself up just to lower onto his impressive length.
Elain felt overwhelmingly full. It felt different being on top, but she wanted to try it. All she could feel was how tauntly she was stretched around him to the point of discomfort. The look of complete and utter bliss on his face made her hesitate, but he had asked her to be vocal about what she felt. She decided to take a little more of him, but abruptly stopped. It hadn鈥檛 felt like this when he was on top, it was utterly delicious when he was sliding into her, but now she felt him too much.
鈥淎z?鈥 She asked in a tentatively small voice which caused his eyelids to fly open. 鈥淚 think you鈥檙e too big. At least, it's too big for me 鈥 this way.鈥 Elain whispered sheepishly. An embarrassed blush spread across her body, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth he immediately had her on her back. Her head towards the foot of the bed while their feet nudged the pillows, his wings above them.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry,鈥 Azriel sputtered. 鈥淚 forget how large I am sometimes, and you were taking me so well before.鈥
It was Azriel鈥檚 turn to blush, but her discomfort had eased in this position, and soon that heavenly warmth was pooling in her core once again.
Elain used the tip of her index finger to trace the length of his nose and asked, 鈥淢aybe we could work our way up to it? I鈥檇 like to try again some day.鈥 She gave a bashful smile.
Azriel smiled a boyish smile in return, and Elain noticed a small indent in his cheek. She let out a gasp, and immediately pressed her pinky into his cheek.
鈥淵ou have a dimple!鈥 Elain exclaimed.
鈥淲hat? No I don鈥檛.鈥 Azriel replied. His smile had faded into a look of confusion, which Elain had found utterly charming.
鈥淵es you do,鈥 Elain stated and pressed down into the spot the dimple had been. 鈥淩ight there.鈥 Elain giggled as Azriel turned his head to nip at her pinky.
His hips shifted ever so slightly, but it was enough to cause a ripple of pleasure in her, and soon one of his arms was propped beside her head while the other grasped her hip as he drove into her again, and again. All laughter had faded into breathless sighs, which in turn became wails of euphoria as Azriel鈥檚 cock hit the sensitive spot deep inside Elain. She clenched around him and screamed as he bit her shoulder 鈥 their climaxes coming at the exact same time.
鈥淵ou did something bad, Elain.鈥 Feyre said, breaking Elain out of her vivid, vivid memories of the night before. She was suddenly grateful her hair was down and covering her shoulders. It was one thing to smell them on eachother, Elain couldn鈥檛 help but think Rhysand would have an even stronger reaction if he saw the bite mark Azriel had left on her shoulder. Elain, on the other hand, would run to a mirror as soon as she got the chance. 鈥淟ucien is a good male, and he didn鈥檛 deserve what you did to him,鈥 Feyre scolded. 鈥淚 remember what it felt like when I thought Rhys was interested in someone else at the Summer Court. It was completely awful.鈥
But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothing
Elain couldn鈥檛 stop the twinge of guilt that threaded through her, but he had claimed her as his mate to a complete and total stranger.
鈥淟ucien,鈥 The name dripped like acid from Elain鈥檚 tongue. 鈥淲as acting as if I had accepted the bond, and I hadn鈥檛. I was practically starving for a week because everytime I picked up food he would get this hopeful look on his face. And nobody even noticed. He,鈥 Her hands tightened in anger at the situation, she hated that she was somehow portrayed as an evil shrew for tempting Lucien with the mating bond when she had done nothing. 鈥淗e claimed me as his mate to complete strangers at Rita鈥檚.
A growl tore through the room, and Elain turned to look at Azriel. The shadowsinger looked like wrath incarnate; Shadows swirling around him to create a black, murky aura. Truth-teller gleamed on his thigh, and a pulse of blue glowed from his siphones. His expression promised war and vengeance, but it was darkly arousing. Elain could help the rush of arousal that overcame her and pooled between her legs, and by the way that his hazel eyes met hers, she was certain that everyone was aware of the effect the shadowsinger had over her.
鈥淥ne night?鈥 Rhysand asked violently, and Elain clenched her teeth to hold her aggravation at bay.
鈥淵es,鈥 Elain repeated. 鈥淲e don鈥檛 want to jeopardize our friendship, or the inner circle. It would be awkward, to say the least, if we decided to get involved and have our relationship turn sour. I,鈥 She calmed herself. 鈥淚 would never forgive myself if I came between Azriel and his family.鈥
That one sentence seemed to dispel some of the tension in the room. The High Lord and his Spymaster were still tinder ready to combust at the slightest spark, but a weird, uneven peace blanketed the room.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 understand,鈥 Feyre said, her brows furrowed. She took a small sip of her tea. 鈥淲hy say you want to explore the mating bond just to explore your鈥 attraction to Azriel?鈥 Her blue eyes looked soft upon her sister.
Elain, standing tall with crossed arms and a determined set to her jaw, said, 鈥淚 didn鈥檛.鈥 And set her gaze directly upon Rhysand, who turned bashful at his mate鈥檚 stare.
鈥淚 may have been scheming again, Feyre darling.鈥
I can feel the flames on my skin
Azriel鈥檚 tongue glided along the column of her neck leaving a trail of fire in its wake. His large hands slowly wandered across her body, which was languid after their second bout of lovemaking. A sleepy, sedate moan rippled out of Elain as Azriel trailed his tongue into the hollow of her collar bone.
鈥淵ou have lovely collar bones,鈥 Azriel muttered, his lips a whisper on her skin. 鈥淏ut then everything about you is lovely.鈥
Elain opened her heavy eyes and took in the delicious sight of a rumpled Azriel after sex. Warmth started churning deep within her from the look of Azriel alone; His eyes were smoldering as he gazed up at her, his raven hair was sticking out in every direction, and the smile on his face was satisfied and sinful. It was a sight that she wanted to see everyday.
Elain was sprawled on her back with her arms thrown up over her head, and her legs spread to accommodate the heavy male laying on her. She welcomed the heavy weight of him.
鈥淵ou know what I was surprised to learn?鈥 Elain questioned, and continued when Azriel lifted a dark brow. 鈥淭hat your bottom looks just as cute nude as it does clothed.鈥 She smiled at the light blush that appeared on his cheeks, and she took the opportunity to pinch said bottom which caused Azriel to jump slightly.
鈥淵ou mean to tell me,鈥 Azriel said and propped himself up on his forearms. 鈥淭hat while I have been waxing poetic in my mind about the lilt of your voice, and your undeniable grace, and your beauty that rivals anything in the natural world, you鈥檝e been thinking about my butt?鈥
She didn鈥檛 try to stifle the laugh that erupted out of her.
鈥淚 can鈥檛 help it. It鈥檚 so distracting and cute,鈥 Elain started laughing so hard a small tear trickled down her cheek. 鈥淚t鈥檚 taken all of my self control not to p-pinch it during one of your training sessions, or just whenever you're standing in front of me. You have a very pinchable bottom, Shadowsinger.鈥
Azriel looked at her in amazement, and leaned down to press his lips against her lone tear. He supposed if he was going to make her cry it was better to be from laughter than from heartache. 聽 聽
He sighed and said, 鈥淵ou have permission to pinch my butt whenever you like.鈥
His kiss muffled the sounds of delight that she made.
It was a soft kiss at first, just a brushing of lips, but it turned molten like all of their other kisses that night.
Elain felt as Azriel shifted weight to one warm as the other slid down her skin, stopping momentarily to show appreciation for her breast, before gliding over her stomach and settling between her thighs.
Long fingers slid up and down her wet folds, and Elain found herself mewling into Azriel鈥檚 shoulder. Two seconds ago she was sated beyond belief and all it took was Azriel鈥檚 touch to make her needy for more. She lifted her hips, eager for more of his touch, but he just whispered in her ear,
鈥淩elax. Let me take care of you,鈥 His voice was low and silky, and she wanted to hear more of it. 鈥淵ou were so good, taking all of my cock. It stretched you so much, didn鈥檛 it?鈥
Elain managed a jumble of syllables, but her eyes were closed and she was too absorbed in her desire to form words.
She felt a sharp sting as he flicked her clit.
Her eyes opened wide at the sudden change, his fingers had stilled, and she saw the devilish look on his handsome face.
鈥淒idn't it?鈥 Azriel repeated.
鈥淵es, you stretched me so much,鈥 She said and was rewarded as he moved his fingers once again. 鈥淣o one has ever filled me as much as you did,鈥 A growl was pulled from deep inside of him. She shifted her legs so that one was draped over his, giving him better access. 鈥淣o one ever will.鈥 聽
His humid breath tickled her neck as he bent his head to hers. His fingers started working her faster, and one plunged deep within her.
鈥淚鈥檓 going to fuck you everywhere,鈥 Azriel promised. 鈥淚鈥檒l fuck your pretty little mouth, and I鈥檒l be the only who knows what your perfect lips look like wrapped around my cock. I鈥檒l fuck you right here,鈥 One of his fingers drifted lower, towards a place no other male had touched her. 鈥淭he next day when you鈥檙e bent over your garden I鈥檒l be tempted to fuck you again, and when we are all gathering for dinner I鈥檒l be the only know who knows the reason why you鈥檙e fidgeting in your seat,鈥 Elain grew hot at his words and started thrusting her hips to the pace he had set with his hand, another finger joined the one inside of her. 鈥淎nd tomorrow I鈥檒l think about how greedily you fucked yourself on my hand,鈥 Flames started licking at her skin as she clenched around his fingers. 鈥淔or the rest of my life I鈥檒l be thinking about how no female felt as perfect as you around my cock.鈥
His thumb came up to press against her clit, and the flames consumed her. With a loud scream she released herself around his fingers, and she was surprised that her third orgasm of the night was just as strong as the first two.
鈥淚 love knowing that you scream when you come.鈥 Azriel said gently in her ear.
He says, 鈥渄on鈥檛 throw away a good thing鈥
鈥淗e left you a note, Elain.鈥 Feyre said and gestured to the small table in front of her where her tea set was placed. For a moment Elain didn鈥檛 realize who she was talking about.
鈥淟ucien? Has he left?鈥 Elain asked, her delicate brows raised in surprise.
鈥淚magine that,鈥 Rhysand said, his voice teetering between sarcasm and spite with an overall air of cattiness to it. 鈥淗e didn鈥檛 want to stay around while his mate was fucking someone else.鈥
The words stung deep and sharp, but Elain kept her chin high. She didn鈥檛 want to give Rhysand any form of satisfaction.
鈥淏e careful how you speak about Elain.鈥 聽
The words were soft spoken, but they made everyone go on edge. There was an unspoken pledge in Azriel鈥檚 voice 鈥 that he would gladly inflict pain upon anyone that would demean Elain, including Rhysand. The tentative peace that settled over them completely evaporated.
鈥淵es,鈥 Feyre said and stood. She slowly made her way to the rest of the group and handed Elain the letter that was left for her. 鈥淏e careful how you speak about my sister.鈥
It was obvious that the two of them were speaking mind-to-mind, so Elain took the opportunity to read the letter.
Elain,
I am sorry for whatever offence that I did to cause you to take such drastic actions, and I want you to know that I did it unwittingly. I thought we were finally making progress, and finally working towards being 聽fully mated. I thought it was best that I put distance between myself and you know who. I hope to hear from you soon. Please, I beg you, don鈥檛 throw away a good thing 鈥 especially for someone so beneath you. I have known of him for the longest time, and I say with confidence that you are too good for him.
Yours,
Lucien
Elain was seeing red. Whatever sympathy she had been feeling towards Lucien fizzled out and morphed into something ugly. How dare he? He doesn鈥檛 know Azriel, and he certainly doesn鈥檛 know me, Elain thought. The heavy handedness of the letter, the pompous, arrogant male who wrote it 鈥 it all caused Elain ball the letter up and toss it into the simmering fire. It was one thing for him to make assumptions about her, she could see the effects of the mating bond causing some of his emotions, but how dare Lucien say that Azriel wasn鈥檛 good enough for her, as if she would be soiled by being in his mere presence.
Don鈥檛 throw away a good thing? They didn鈥檛 even have a thing. Not one singular thing did they have between them.
She was quietly raging by the fireplace, watching as the flames licked at the paper until it turned into nothing but ash. The mated couple were too absorbed in silent conversation to notice Elain and the brave, friendly shadow that was comforting her.
It was the same one that was sent to her before, the one Elain left in her bedroom, it had the same cat-like quality to it. It curled around the hem of her dress and then her ankles, and the warmth coming off of it matched the warmth of the fire. Elain watched as it danced through the air, swirling and settling around her neck. It felt like the nose of some small animal nuzzling into her.
Elain let out a small giggle.
鈥淲ould it be terribly uninspired if I called you Shadow?鈥 She whispered to it, and it just brushed against her cheek lovingly. Unintentionally she looked over to Azriel, who was staring at her with wide eyes. He looked surprised. She wanted to ask him why, but Rhysands voice broke the quiet of the room.
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry, Elain,鈥 He said, looking thoroughly put in his place after Feyre鈥檚 scolding. 鈥淚 鈥 I didn鈥檛 mean to insult you. It鈥檚 just that,鈥 Rhysand took a deep breath and his face was more vulnerable than Elain had ever seen . 鈥淚 remember what it was like when Feyre was still with Tamlin. I remember how it felt when she would鈥︹ He trailed off and suddenly everyone in the room was blushing except Azriel. Elain didn鈥檛 exactly want to hear the details of Feyre and Tamlin鈥檚 relationship, in fact she always felt a deep surge of guilt when she thought about how Feyre was suffering and she didn鈥檛 do anything to stop it. Rhysand let out a deep sigh, one that spoke of his tiredness and for once he actually looked his centuries old age. 鈥淚 just hope Lucien doesn鈥檛 call him out,鈥 His chin nudged towards Azriel. 鈥淔or the blood duel.鈥
The conversation ended as Cassian and Nesta charged down the stairs. Cassian with his wolfish smile and Nesta with her catty grin entered the room and they all waited for breakfast to be served.
It just felt so good
鈥淚t just felt so good,鈥 Elain said, setting her cup of tea down with extra precision. She was liable to slosh the liquid right over the rim of the cup with all of her excitement 鈥 she felt as if every nerve in her body had been electrified and then dunked in water and wrung out. 鈥淣ot just good, but right.鈥
Nuala and Cerridewen sat on the opposite side of the wooden table in the dimly lit kitchen. They wore twin expressions on their faces: sly grins that always made Elain wonder what they knew, dark eyes that seemed to absorb light, and dark, expressive brows. The twins showed more of their true forms to Elain than anyone else, besides Azriel and Rhysand. Even for their High Lady, whom the twins respected and liked, some of their features remained shrouded in shadows. It was second nature to them as spies to remain at least partly shadowed, ever since they had befriended Elain Azriel was sending them on missions less and less, but they never knew when those missions were going to occur. It was easier for them to remain partly in the shadows, but they dropped them completely around Elain.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 not surprising,鈥 Cerridwen said and took a sip of her tea. The whole room had taken on the aroma of mint from their tea, but it hadn鈥檛 done a thing to calm Elain. 鈥淲e have seen the two of you together 鈥 your bodies are always perfectly insync.鈥 She smiled kindly at Elain, but the spark in her dark eyes told Elain that she had observed more than that.
鈥淎re they really?鈥 Elain asked eagerly and pressed her palms flat against the table.
鈥淒efinitely, it looks as if you two had been around each other for hundreds of years. You two can work together in silence and never miss a beat, remember for Cassian鈥檚 birthday last year? When the master helped with the cookies?鈥 Nuala said, the golden stud in her nose glimmered from the flicker of the fae light in the room. It was the easiest way to tell them apart, Nuala had a golden stud in her nose and Cerridwen favored multiple golden earrings in her ears 鈥 Elain always marveled that they never tangled and pulled at her curls. That was the other way to tell the twins apart: Cerridwen's hair was curlier and Nuala preferred doing her hair intricate braids. 鈥淚t helps that he can鈥檛 keep his eyes off of you.鈥
鈥淭ruly?鈥 Elain said, her fingers digging deeper into the wood. 鈥淗e can鈥檛 keep his eyes off of me?鈥
鈥淎s if you don鈥檛 know,鈥 Cerridwen said with a laugh and waved Elain off with a flick of her wrist. 鈥淚 remember how you had to get your hair off of your neck because you were so overheated,鈥 The wraith sighed dramatically and gathered her curls on top of her head, in a surely exaggerated pantomime of Elain, and then fanned herself off with her hand. 鈥淚鈥檓 sure the fact that you were in a dress with a scandalously low-cut bodice never crossed your mind, especially considering how heavily you were breathing.鈥 Cerridwen dropped her hair, the curls falling heavily around her face, and Elain felt her face burn at Nuala鈥檚 laughter.
鈥淩emember when the frosting accidentally fell onto her bosom?鈥 Nuala said, laughing at the memory, her voice made it clear that she didn鈥檛 think it was an accident at all.
Elain did remember that part of the night. A dollop of vanilla frosting had fallen right into her cleavage, and she didn鈥檛 want it to get onto the fabric of her party dress, so she used her finger to scoop up the cream before popping it into her mouth. She just so happened to look at Azriel to notice intense gaze upon her mouth and the finger that was cushioned between her lips. Had he been watching her the entire time they had frosted the cookies?
鈥淚t was nice,鈥 Elain said, and tucked a strand of hair behind her pointed ear. 鈥淭o be with him like that.鈥 Her voice was low, as if her words were too delicate to be said aloud鈥 like the hope that accompanied those words would be immediately trounced upon by someone trying to keep her and Azriel apart. A small sigh escaped her as she thought of her family that would soon be running through the door. 鈥淚 miss him already.鈥
鈥淲ho said the night had to be over?鈥 Cerridwen said with a wicked grin.
鈥淲hat do you mean?鈥 Elain asked, a small fire of hope burned brightly in her chest.
鈥淲ell,鈥 Nuala said with an identical smile to her sisters. 鈥淲e know where he lives when he doesn鈥檛 want anyone to find him, and we can take you to him. Shadow-walk you, like we did during the war.鈥
Elain chewed on her bottom lip, a rush of excitement and some nervous jittey feeling churned within her.
鈥淗e won鈥檛 mind?鈥 She asked with a hesitant smile, and the broad grins of her friends put her at ease.
鈥淥f course not.鈥 Cerridwen said and abruptly stood up in a fluid showcase of grace, and her sister followed suit. Elain joined them, not nearly as graceful as the shadow wraiths, and clasped their outstretched hands. Her wide eyes watched as the edges of her friends frames feathered until their forms became complete shadows, and then those shadows enveloped her 鈥 for a brief instant Elain was suspended in time and shadow, a coolness settled around her, and then the darkness cleared and gave way to a bland apartment door.
鈥淗ere?鈥 Elain asked the swirling shadows of her friends and looked around the unassuming hallway. She didn鈥檛 know what to expect, but it made sense that the shadowsinger would choose a basic, clean apartment to live in and not one with the extravagant taste that their High Lord perferred.
The shadows didn鈥檛 respond, but Elain watched as one hand manifested and formed into a fist to knock loudly on the door. Elain blinked and her friends had completely disappeared.
She heard a metallic clang, and then nothing.
Elain stared at the door, her hands curled into her dress, and watched as it slowly opened to reveal a shirtless Azriel holding Truth-teller.
鈥淒o your attackers usually knock first?鈥 Elain asked, eyeing the dagger.
鈥淗ow did you get here?鈥 Azriel asked. His voice was flat, but Elain managed to catch a brief flash of surprise in his hazel eyes. His one arm was reached out to hold the door knob, blocking her view of his apartment.
鈥淥ur mutual friends.鈥 Elain grinned and Azriel relaxed his shoulders briefly, but then tensed again.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e here? Alone?鈥 Azriel asked, his hazel eyes wide and almost frightful, no that couldn鈥檛 be right. It wasn鈥檛 possible, Elain thought, that the fearsome shadowsinger was frightened at the thought of having Elain alone at his apartment in the middle of the night.
鈥淵es,鈥 Elain said smiling and leaned forward to peer inside his apartment. From what she saw it looked incredibly bare, as if it was never used, but she wanted to see more than the brief glimpses she got from straining her neck. She looked up at him. 鈥淢ay I come in, please?鈥
She watched as his jaw tightened, his hand still clenched around the door knob, but he took a grudging step to the side. She heard him say, 鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 expecting company.鈥 as she stepped over the threshold and around him to see where he lived when he wanted to be alone.
Elain couldn鈥檛 determine if his residence was unnaturally clean, or just empty. There was nothing hanging from the walls, no decorations to brighten the space up, in fact, there wasn鈥檛 anything homey about this space at all. Yes, space, that鈥檚 what it was. It was a space with practical furniture and appliances with enough room to feel comfortable, there wasn鈥檛 an object that she could see that held any sentimental value.
There were shoes by the door, Elain noted and hid her smile that formed at his expense, as if he didn鈥檛 want the rest of his apartment to get dirty. She snuck a peek at Azriel鈥檚 feet and saw that they were bare, long toes nestled into the cushioned carpet, and she immediately moved to step out of her slippers.
鈥淵ou don鈥檛 have to.鈥 Azriel started, but Elain cut him off with a bright grin. She wanted to make him feel comfortable with her presence here, so she would follow his rules.
鈥淚 want to get comfortable.鈥 Elain replied and watched as his expression turned heated, he slowly closed the door, and Elain thought it was to give her the opportunity to leave. 鈥淚 rather like being barefoot. As a child I would run barefoot all the time, I loved the feel of the earth beneath me, and my mother would always wrestle with me to put my slippers on. She would throw a fit whenever she noticed that I would sneakily take them off whenever her back was turned.鈥
Azriel could picture it: A small Elain stuffed into a gown of her mothers choosing, a determined look in her eyes and a too sweet smile on her face, biding her time and waiting for the opportunity to do what she wanted.
鈥淚 was just having dinner,鈥 Azriel said, putting Truth-teller back into it its home and rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. 鈥淲ould you like some?鈥
鈥淚 would love some.鈥
The smile that bloomed on Azriel鈥檚 was worth any headache her family might become. To see him smile a smile that was free and comfortable and easy was worth an endless amount of toil.
So, light me up
鈥淗ow was it?鈥 Nesta whispered over her cup of tea, and Elain bit back a smile.
鈥淚t was the most fun I ever had, and I鈥檇 do it over and over again.鈥 Elain replied and the two sisters erupted in giggles, causing everyone else to look in their direction. For a brief moment it was just like old times, and Elain felt the bittersweet sing of nostalgia.
They were quiet for a moment and everyone went back to their breakfast. Nesta took the opportunity to whisper, 鈥淚 thought about it. Before I realized I was mated to Cassian,鈥 The slimy feeling of jealousy curled in Elain's stomach, turning all of its contents sour and leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. For the first time in her life Elain wanted to act on her uncharitable thoughts about her sister, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. 鈥淚 had this fantasy,鈥 Nesta continued, blissfully unaware of her sister's silent seething. 鈥淲here I was with them both.鈥 She sighed and a dreamy haze flitted across her face.
鈥淚鈥檓 sure it would have been pleasurable.鈥 Elain managed to bite out in a tone that was only slightly cordial, but decidedly clipped. She turned from her sister, who was still lost in her fantasy, and looked down the table to where Azriel sat.
There was one addendum that she would insist be added to their bargain, Elain thought. Fidelity. The thought of Azriel being with another female had her careening into a jealous fit, and it was just the thought of it. She could only imagine how she would feel if she had to see him with another female. Now that she finally had some small amount of Azriel in her life 鈥 to think that he may not be satisfied with her, or to think that he might share what they had last night with another female 鈥 it hurt her deep within her soul.
Elain was never prone to violent outbursts, but they suddenly held an irresistible appeal. Not just their physical connection, but the emotional one as well. To think of Azriel having that kind of easiness and warmth鈥 and鈥 home. It felt like home. To think of him having that feeling with someone else was unbearable.
He caught her eyes and sent her a smile that melted her bones. It was gone before anyone else had noticed it, and fixed his attention onto the food on his plate.
You say I did something bad, why鈥檚 it feel so good?
鈥淵ou did something bad, Elain,鈥 Nesta said with a cat-like grin. 鈥淚 can't believe my sister would do something so naughty.鈥
鈥淚t wasn鈥檛 terribly naughty.鈥 Elain said somewhat sheepishly, her gaze fixated on her breakfast as she shuffled the eggs around on her plate.
Nesta let out a very unlady like, 鈥淗a!鈥 and took a sip of her water.
鈥淎fter all, if it was so bad, then why did it feel so good?鈥 Elain whispered seriously. Everyone had been telling her that she did something bad, but how could that be when it felt so gloriously right?
Water came out of Nesta鈥檚 nose as she heard her sister's words, but misunderstood the meaning.
鈥淚 shall have to tell Gwyn,鈥 聽Nesta said conspiratorially, and Elain felt her heart plummet into her stomach. 鈥淪he has the biggest crush on Azriel, and who can blame her?鈥
What did you guys think?? I had so much fun writing this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts! I had a lot of fun with the format of this chapter and writing the flashbacks. Please like, comment, and reblog. I am starting a tag list, so please let know if you would like to be tagged.聽
Tagging: @swankii-art-teacher @justheretoreadsposts
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mindpalace054 hours ago
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In acosf we got a very vague mention of Nestas birthday...well in the elriel book I'm going to need a scene like this:
It was Elains birthday today. She suppose she should have been more excited but after the nightmare she had, everything felt joyless. She didn't care about her birthday anymore, after all what was the point? What milestone had she achieved to be proud of? The life Elain had planned for herself had been snatched and burned in front of her. All her goals seemd unachievable. Every single year looked the same. Consisting of baking, gardening, threats and death promises. She was almost always lost In her own shattered mind, making sense of visions and following threads that led to no where.
When she expressed her desire to not have a celebration, her sister were outraged claiming it was a special day and how could she not celebrate it. Until they came at a compromise to have a small family gathering at the eve of her birthday. Elain wouldn't say her and her sisters were close. No. They were all simply walking on egg shells around each other waiting for the other to crack however their relationship was improving.
She came down the stairs and entered the living room where her friends and family occupied the different seats. All except one.
Azriel.
Azriel who had been avoiding her as though she carried the plague. It had stung. After all out of everyone, Elain felt as though he was the one that understood her heart ache, her loss. He had been her comfort blanket, the person she shared all her secrets with. With him Elain never had to act as the perfect, oblivious puppet her mother had forced her to become. She could be imperfect elain. It had never occurred to her that he'd be the one to hurt her the most. Abondon her when she still needed him.
But Elain would move on like she always did. She'd fix her broken heart by herself.
Her presents were displayed on the table, next to a vanilla cake. There were tulips and daffodils in vases which caused her to smile. Her family sang happy birthday before digging into her cake. She then opened all of their presents and expressed her gratitude.
Nesta and cass had gotten her some more gardening tools, feyre and rhys got her some more flowering seeds whilst Amren had brought her a necklace from the Summer Court. Mor had gotten Elain her a dusty pink dress. They were gifts her family gave her every year.
She faked her smiles and laughter since her energy was deplating by the second. Elain could feel an onslaught of visions trying to control her.
After a few hours everyone parted ways.
Elain stood before her door, readying herself for another right with horrible migraines, vomiting and incoherent mumbling as she had to give in to her seer abilities. She noticed a shadow slithering out beneath before blending in with the night. Confused she opened her bedroom door. Everything looked the same...as she took a few more steps in she noticed a box covered in black wrapping paper. A rose was taped onto the front, a note attached. Lifting the note up gently it simply said "Happy Birthday". Sitting on the bed, she placed the box on her lap turning it this way and that trying to figure out what was inside. Elain tore the paper which revealed a velvet box. Slowly, she unlatched the locks at the side, and lifted the lid.
No...how...how did he remember?
Elain had told Az 3 years ago how much she loved the violin, how each note spoke delicately to her soul. Elain had told him how much she loved playing it, even her own mother praised her gift of playing the rare instrument.
And he remembered. 3 years later and he had gotten it her. It was beautiful. The entire thing was a shiny black, glittering golden roses carved in.
Heart thumping wildly, she picked it up. Her head rested on the little notch at the top of the head, her fingers picked the bow and strung it gently across each note.
Elain couldn't help the smile that plastered itself across her face. She was happy. Truly happy.
That night Elain sat on the chair out on her balcony and learnt once again how to play each note.
What Elain didn't know, was that Az was standing directly beneath, smiling like a fool in love as he listened. His own heart beating happily at her happiness.
Yep. Defintley going to need a scene like this.
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the-laughing-bubble2 days ago
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Elriel Vibes
as we wait in anticipation馃拝...
馃槒
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emnlln8 hours ago
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My ACOTAR Ships as Sleeping Positions: 馃槾
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鉁 Bonus 鉁
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Serving you 鉁╰hrouple energy 鉁 馃槅
The last one is a crack ship I saw on here based on the way Az carried Lucien in that one scene 馃槼馃槀
Anyways鈥 hope you enjoy!
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leiaamidala2 months ago
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I couldn't tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, "Beautiful."
--A Court of Wings and Ruin, by Sarah J. Maas鈦
Art by @katjazart ,commissioned by me.鈦 鈦b湪Thank you Katja for this absolute masterpiece. I am forever grateful! Thank you for bringing to life my vision, and making it even better. This piece is inspired by the above scene, reimagined in a future where Elain and Azriel have found their happiness together-- the triumph of choice over so-called fate. 鈦
鈦s always, this is for my Elriels馃尭馃鈦
reposts allowed ONLY with tagged credit to @katjazart and me
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thefangirlofhp15 days ago
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The Inner Circle鈥檚 favorite thing to do is excite a pregnant Elain just to watch her powers glow with joy. The imagery is one Azriel conjures up on his darkest days.
-Elain Archeron at Rosehall during her birthday, pregnant with her first child. The dress was a gift from her loving husband, Azriel, who is as besotted with her as she is with the gardens at the estate, and as fire loves innocence, and as secrets love to be told.
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tovelarisdreams2 months ago
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We鈥檝e been blessed again by the amazing jessdraw.s 馃檹馃徎
New Elriel fanart! 馃槏
馃帹Credits of the fanart to jessdraw.s
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forget-me-not-s3 months ago
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鉁ˋNOTHER SURPRISE鉁
鈥淓lain sat silently at one of the wrought-iron tables, a cup of tea before her. Azriel was sprawled on the chaise longue across the gray stones, sunning his wings and reading what looked to be a stack of reports鈥
This lovely art was inspired by this moment during ACOWAR. The talented katjazart on Instagram is the responsible to creat this beauty! So here鈥檚 my Elriel Garden Commission.
Please if you share it credit both me and the artist 馃尭
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tswaney1713 days ago
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I Do Bad Things with You聽 - Part 30
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Has it really been almost two months since I lasted posted an update to this fic? Shit, I鈥檓 so sorry! This part really was a bitch to write. It fought me at every corner and I鈥檓 still not 100% happy with how it came out, but it鈥檚 time to move on and accept it for what it is.聽
My head has been a bit all over the place with fic ideas and lack of motivation to write - it鈥檚 been awful to say the least. I feel like I鈥檓 slowly coming out of my slump, but I鈥檓 not totally out of the woods yet. I do have some other things in the works that I hope to finish and get posted here soon. One may or may not be a sequel to my Oh Baby headcanon, but now I need to decide if that headcanon should become a full fic first too...聽
Anyways, I鈥檓 rambling. Mind the warnings and the length. This is a steamy, long piece. So grab a snack and enjoy! 馃槝
My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics鈥嬧
My ao3 account: tswaney17
Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 馃挋馃挏馃挌
Catch up here.
Credit to @featherymalignancy鈥嬧嬧嬧嬧 for Cassian鈥檚 nickname, Cash. 馃槝
Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, language, NSFW
Word Count: 8,523
Light filtered in through the sway of the curtains. The distant sound of traffic carried in on the breeze from the open slider attached to the balcony.
Elain鈥檚 eyes fluttered open. The steady rhythm of Azriel鈥檚 heartbeat pattered against her cheek. Her body was pressed into the side of his, leg slotted between his thighs, head on his chest.
Azriel had an arm wrapped around her, his palm splayed over the curve of her behind.
She smiled to herself, knowing he had a thing for her ass鈥攈e was not subtle when he checked her out whatsoever.
His warm breath stirred the hairs at the top of her head and she took the opportunity to just look at him.
At his relaxed face. His hair had gotten slightly curlier than from high school. He wore it longer too, just enough for it to settle against his forehead. Long, dark lashes brushed the tops of his cheeks鈥攍ashes women would kill for. His mouth was parted slightly, lips plump and soft. Though she was aware of how bruising they could be. The night they went to Cash鈥檚 set told her as much.
Her eyes traveled down the strong column of his throat, to the arch of his trapezius muscle, and over the swell of his bicep. She realized then that he wasn鈥檛 wearing a shirt鈥攈e must鈥檝e taken it off in the middle of the night when she was asleep.
Not that she was complaining.
His tanned, tattooed skin was warm under her cheek. Elain curved her head closer to him and kissed his chest. Her eyes peeked up at him through her lashes, seeing if he stirred. When it was clear he hadn鈥檛 woken, she rocked herself up higher over his torso and dropped a kiss to his sternum.
He moved then, arms tightening around her. His hand flexed on her ass and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from giggling.
Elain pushed herself up against his body even further and pressed her lips to the dark ink of his collarbone.
At last, hazel eyes blinked open and found her gaze. A sleepy smile crossed his face. 鈥淕ood morning,鈥 he murmured, voice deep with sleep.
It sent a shiver racing down her body; warmth pooled low in her belly. Elain had forgotten how husky he sounded early in the morning. 鈥淗i,鈥 she breathed, letting him get his bearings with reality.
His body shifted as he stretched underneath her and she saw the moment when he realized exactly where his hand was. Azriel snatched his hand back almost as if she had burnt him, muttering a profuse apology.
Elain laughed; the sound thick as honey. 鈥淚 was wondering how long it was going to take you to realize where exactly your hand was at.鈥
His cheeks turned the most adorable shade of pink. 鈥淭ruly, Elain. I apologize鈥斺
She snorted, cutting him off. 鈥淭here is no need to apologize, Az. Not when you and I both know that your hand being on my ass, conscious or not is no accident,鈥 she teased. 鈥淵ou have always been an ass man.鈥
He made a sound of protest, but again, she interrupted with a wave of her hand. 鈥淵ou are so not subtle when you check me out. I think yesterday proved that.鈥
His fingers caught her chin and he brought her mouth down for a slow kiss. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not my fault you鈥檙e so damn beautiful I can barely breathe.鈥
Elain scoffed against his lips. 鈥淲hat a fucking line,鈥 she laughed.
With her distracted, she didn鈥檛 realize he had hooked an ankle over her leg until he flipped them. She let out an ungraceful yelp as she landed on her backside, glaring up at his stupidly, perfect face.
Azriel nudged her nose with his making her breath catch. His hands were in her hair, on her jaw, tilting her head up to give him access to her throat. Soft lips grazed over her fluttering pulse. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not a line if it鈥檚 the truth,鈥 he whispered onto her skin. 鈥淓xquisite,鈥 he breathed dropping a kiss to her jaw. 鈥淪tunning,鈥 he said onto her throat. 鈥淚ntelligent,鈥 he breathed onto her cheek.
Elain鈥檚 heart had begun to beat at what she would consider medically unsafe levels. Her fingers slid into his hair, grip tightening enough that he groaned.
鈥淎 fighter.鈥 A kiss to her full lips. 鈥淎nd stubborn as hell.鈥
鈥淗ey!鈥 she pushed him backward, making him chuckle.
鈥淚 never said it was a bad thing.鈥
Her brow raised in defiance. 鈥淩eally? You want me to be stubborn? I have never, in my life, heard of a male who wanted their woman to be stubborn.鈥
Azriel let out a huff of air, eyes rolling, but a grin turned up the corners of his mouth. His thumb stroked down the side of her neck. 鈥淥f course, I want you to be stubborn. You want to know why?鈥
鈥淒o enlighten me.鈥
He flicked her lightly on the nose for the smartass comment. 鈥淚 want your stubbornness because I want you to challenge me on things. To not just roll over with what I say and do. I know we鈥檙e going to fight sometimes, but I need you to be able to call me out on my bullshit, Elain. To go toe-to-toe with me.鈥
She blinked up at him, the pads of her fingers tracing down his temple. 鈥淎nd you think I鈥檒l be able to do that?鈥 she asked quietly, almost as if she was afraid to hear the answer. She had been passive with Graysen. Too passive. It was what made her weak to him.
Az smiled softly down at her like he could read every thought and emotion running through her mind. 鈥淵ou already have, Elain. You did that night at the club when you held me back.鈥
She expected herself to flinch at the memory and was surprised she didn鈥檛.
鈥淎nd at the fundraiser. And the fucking Gala when you almost broke my nose and threatened to throat punch me.鈥
Elain laughed. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry about that.鈥
He grinned down at her. 鈥淒on鈥檛 be. I deserved it and you know it.鈥
Her fingers caressed his cheeks, feeling the stubble of his five o鈥檆lock shadow. She mapped the contours and lines of his face. The bridge of his nose. The shape of his lips and cupid's bow. 鈥淢aybe a little.鈥
He caught her hand in his and pressed a gentle kiss to her digits.
Honey-brown eyes traveled down the column of his throat to his broad chest. 鈥淵ou took your shirt off last night,鈥 she stated, obviously.
鈥淲hen I picked up last night after you had fallen asleep.鈥
Her eyes snapped back up to his and she turned her head to look over at her now empty nightstand.
鈥淚 sleep warm, but figured the pants with the slider cracked would make you the least uncomfortable.鈥
Elain鈥檚 neck twisted to look over at the open balcony. That explained why she could hear the faint callings of early morning traffic.
Azriel鈥檚 hand had slowly crept its way down to her hip, his fingers lightly tracing over the bit of skin peeking through on her waist. Even if it made her body heat, the feeling of his presence there was comforting.
She moved her hands to his shoulders, feeling the strength there. Fuck, he was so strong. He鈥檇 been holding himself over her for gods how long now? 鈥淲hat do you normally sleep in?鈥 Elain asked though she had a feeling she already knew the answer.
His wicked grin gave it to her anyway.
She let out an undignified snort. 鈥淔igured as much.鈥
Az laughed, the sound deep and husky enough that made something slither along her bones. 鈥淚 had no idea you were curious about what I did or did not sleep in.鈥
Her fingers tugged the hair at his nape hard enough that he purred sensually, which did nothing to help that tugging feeling low in her gut.
鈥淚 would be curious about what you sleep in, but I鈥檓 pretty sure I already know.鈥
Elain raised a brow. 鈥淚鈥檝e worn my pajamas here before. I don鈥檛 know what you mean by that.鈥 He had stripped her out of those pajamas after her nightmare and cleaned her up.
鈥淵es, but it wasn鈥檛 my old gym shirt from high school.鈥
Her cheeks flamed. 鈥淥h my god,聽no.鈥 Her hands fell from his neck to cover her face as embarrassment swallowed her. His chuckled reverberated through her body, but it made her peek through her fingers, eying him suspiciously. 鈥淲ait, that was in my bedroom. Why were you in my bedroom?鈥
His entire body tensed at the question. He fingered the fabric of the shirt she wore, his Adam鈥檚 apple working as he swallowed hard. The sight made something in her chest tighten鈥攍ike what he was about to say was difficult for him.
Which didn鈥檛 make sense because they were talking about pajamas鈥ight?
鈥淚 went to your apartment after you were taken.鈥 Az kept his eyes downcast. 鈥淚 was told what it looked like but I needed to see it myself. To assess the damage.鈥 He moved his hand up to brush her hair away from her brow with his thumb. It was the gentlest of gestures. 鈥淚 checked your bedroom, to see鈥斺 he cut himself off, unable to voice what he thought may have happened. 鈥淚 needed to make sure鈥︹
To see if they had done to her what Graysen had attempted.
Elain鈥檚 hands went back to his arms, sliding upwards over his shoulders to his neck and jaw. 鈥淭hey didn鈥檛.鈥
It was like some unknown relief flooded his body and he relaxed slightly against her. Azriel let out a heavy breath that kissed her lips. 鈥淚 know the kind of men that he employed, and聽fuck, I was so scared of what they鈥檇 do to you just to hurt me.鈥
She brushed her thumbs over his jaw, hating that he couldn鈥檛 even seem to look at her in guilt. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 blame you for what happened, Azriel.鈥 He still refused to meet her eyes. So, she decided to give him her truth. 鈥淚鈥檒l admit that I think he would鈥檝e toed the line had I not broken his nose.鈥
That made his gaze snap to hers. 鈥淵ou broke his nose?鈥
Elain nodded; a small, satisfied smile found its way onto her mouth. 鈥淚 did, with a move Cash had taught me to use as a last resort because it likely would end up hurting me too, and it did.鈥 Her fingers dipped to touch her forehead briefly before she returned them to his jaw. 鈥淏ut I refused to be weak again. Not like I was with Graysen. He needed to know I would fight back. It made him hesitate. Enough so that none of his men even came near me and neither did he. Not to that degree.鈥
Azriel leaned down and kissed her forehead, right where she had busted his nose. When he looked back down at her face, his hazel eyes were a golden blaze. 鈥淵ou are not weak, Elain. You have never been weak.鈥
He had always been a wordsmith and as an adult, it was no different. Even the simplest of phrases seemed to break through her barriers, always knowing what to say to her. Though something still nagged at the back of her mind鈥攕omething she needed to ask. 鈥淚鈥檓 glad he鈥檚 dead,鈥 she whispered. His face gave nothing away. 鈥淒oes that make me a bad person?鈥
A scarred hand cradled her cheek and he let his thumb swipe over her the apple of it a few times. 鈥淣o, Elain. That doesn鈥檛 make you a bad person. I don鈥檛 know of anyone who could鈥檝e gone what you went through and not wished the same.鈥 He let the words wash over her. 鈥淵ou are the strongest person I have ever met, Elain,鈥 he began. There wasn鈥檛 an ounce of waiver to his voice and she had to swallow back the lump in her throat. 鈥淚t鈥檒l take time for you to move on from this, but I know you can and you will. Some days will be harder than others. And on those days, I鈥檒l be here for you in however you need me. But as time moves on, you鈥檒l find that those days become few and far between because you鈥檒l replace them with new, happier days. And I hope that I get to stand there with you during those days as well.鈥 The hand still on her face, wiped away the tear that rolled down her temple.
She chuckled; the sound rattled in her chest with her unshed tears. 鈥淲hy do you insist on saying such nice things that make me cry?鈥 she complained.
Azriel鈥檚 grin was blinding and he leaned down to kiss her softly. Just a gentle brush of his lips over hers. Before he reached back to take one of her hands from behind his neck and slid it down his chest over his heart.
Elain could feel its steady rhythm beneath her fingertips and palm. She let it steady her as she matched her breathing to it. 鈥淚 can feel your heartbeat,鈥 she murmured, breaking the silence that had settled over them. 鈥淚t鈥檚 strong.鈥
Azriel let his other hand trail up her bicep to her shoulder and down the side of her body to settle back onto her hip. 鈥淚t鈥檚 yours,鈥 he answered honestly.
She could only blink up at him, the words catching in her chest. They had soothed the rough edges of her soul, but he wasn鈥檛 finished.
鈥淢y heart is yours, Elain. My whole heart has always, and will always belong to you.鈥
Her eyes glistened, but his thumb continued its sweeping motion to catch the tears that fell down her cheek. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 think I ever got mine back from you. Even when I was engaged to him鈥斺 It was a truth she had never admitted to herself, and never out loud. 鈥淚 think I knew, deep down that, that marriage would be doomed from the start. That I couldn鈥檛 give him my heart fully because it wasn鈥檛 mine to give anymore.鈥
Azriel touched his forehead to hers, taking a breath deep into his lungs. 鈥淚鈥檝e made a lot of mistakes in my life, but there is nothing I regret more than leaving you on the front porch, getting into my truck, and driving away. You trusted me with your heart and I broke that. I promise you that I won鈥檛 ever betray that trust again.鈥
鈥淚 know,鈥 she murmured, eyes searching his. 鈥淚 know you won鈥檛, Azriel. I trust you.鈥
He kissed her then, more urgently than before. It was hot and needy. A clash of teeth and tongues; one that she reciprocated. But just as quickly as he kissed her, he pulled away, breathing heavily. Hazel eyes were swallowed by lust-filled black pupils.
There were words, she realized, sitting on the tip of his tongue that he was holding back because she knew he wasn鈥檛 sure whether or not they would make her uncomfortable. Her fingers curled slightly, nails digging into the flesh of his chest as she said what he wanted to. 鈥淚鈥檓 yours.鈥 His entire body shuddered above her. 鈥淎nd you鈥檙e mine.鈥
The tether he kept on himself snapped. His hand on her face tilted her jaw up as he crashed their mouths together once more. The softness of his lips always surprised her鈥攕uch a contrast to the roughness of his palms and the hardness of his body. But the demanding way they molded against hers made her chest flutter. His teeth drug her bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on the tender flesh.
Elain felt the sensation of that pull on her lip low in her belly. She moaned softly. On instinct, her body reacted, arching against him. The hand at his nape tangled in his hair, her fingers threading through the inky strands to tug him down, greedily taking more. Elain鈥檚 mouth opened for him, sighing at the first stroke of his tongue.
He released her hand from his chest to let his wander down her body, lightly touching at her waist until it joined his other at her hips. Azriel settled himself over her, still holding most of his weight through his knees and elbows, but she could feel everything.
Every hard edge of his torso pressed into all of her soft curves. Even through the t-shirt she wore, she could feel the heat of his body, the essence of him. It seeped through her skin and warmed her down to her bones.
And yet, she wanted more.
More, more,聽more.
Azriel鈥檚 scarred hands were on her bare waist, having slipped under her shirt. His touch was like a brand in the best of ways. The movement of his mouth sent shivered promises wracking through her body. Promises of where else that wicked tongue might one day ravish.
The idea only fueled her on more. Her hands couldn鈥檛 sit still. They were in his hair, on his shoulders, scratching lightly down his back. Without thinking, her hips rolled into his, feeling every hard inch of him press into her aching center.
The moan that left her throat should鈥檝e embarrassed her, but it didn鈥檛.
And it clearly only spurred Azriel on more as his lips left her mouth and traveled down her jaw to her throat. His hands were sliding up and down the length of her torso, over her ribcage, but never quite reaching up to where she wanted him to.
鈥淥ff,鈥 she whined, her voice a husky whisper. Dark eyes snapped up to look at her face, his breath caressing her lips. She knew what he was looking for, what the golden ring left of his irises was searching for on her face.
He knew what she was asking without her even needing to elaborate. 鈥淎re you sure?鈥 he questioned through his heavy breathing.
Her breasts tightened at the hungry look on his face. She dropped one of her hands to fist the front of the shirt she wore. 鈥淭ake it off,鈥 she told him definitively.
Azriel鈥檚 hands left her heated skin to tug her t-shirt up.
She helped as best as she could, arching her back at first, then lifting her head and shoulders until the grey fabric was slipped off and tossed behind him.
His gaze met and held hers, not letting his eyes wander until she gave him the okay. Once she nodded, his normal whiskey-colored eyes swept downwards.
Elain was pretty sure she stopped breathing as he looked his fill. Her cheeks heated and she knew that blush had extended to where his eyes were focused on. Could feel his stare burning into her skin, but when finally looked back up at her face, it was adoration she found lining his features. Adoration and devotion.
鈥淵ou are so beautiful, Elain.鈥 He leaned forward to kiss the center of her stomach, then slowly slid his mouth up until he hovered between the valley of her breasts. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 tell you how much you tormented me in that dress.鈥 She knew which one he was referring to. 鈥淓very time you wear it, I鈥檓 seconds from getting on my knees before you.鈥 He dropped a kiss to her heated skin, making her squirm beneath him.
One of his hands slid up, over the slope of her waist, across her ribcage to the underneath side of her breast. The soft brush of his thumb made her breath catch in her throat. His eyes shot to hers, watching her carefully as he crept his palm up higher until his thumb could circle over her pebbled nipple.
Her back arched under his touch, sultry sounds escaping her parted lips. Elain鈥檚 eyes fluttered closed as she focused on the circular motions of his thumb. The bed dipped as Azriel鈥檚 sinful mouth returns to her neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there, then let his tongue lap the hurt away. Her hands slipped back into his hair, gripping hard.
He growled against her throat, the sound vibrating into her and making her shiver, but he kept his pace steady. 鈥淔uck, you鈥檙e so soft,鈥 he breathed, thumb and forefinger pinching at her nipple.
Elain cried out at the quick, sharp pain that sent bolts of pleasure running straight to her core. As Azriel continued to worship her neck and breast, she felt herself begin to drip. Her hips bucked up slightly, searching for him to relieve the ache that was building.
A scarred hand gripped the back of her knee and pulled it up onto his hip, allowing him to sink further into her. They both gasped when his hard length pressed into her and on instinct, Elain brought her other knee up giving him more room to thrust into her.
And advantage he took. Azriel鈥檚 movements were slow, dragging out the pleasure of it.
He did everything right. Had stroked every ember in her until that warmth had turned into an inferno. It was hotter than what she had felt the night after the fundraiser. Her body was ready, could feel the moisture that had seeped through the boxes she wore. But even with every part of her body was primed to go forward, something nagged at the back of her mind.
The awful sound of a belt tinkling flooded her brain made her body go cold. Glass shattering and the smell of tequila and cheap cologne invaded every thought. She knew it wasn鈥檛 real鈥攖he sound was purely from her memory鈥攂ut it didn鈥檛 stop the goosebumps from erupting down her skin.
鈥淓lain.鈥
She heard the change in his voice, felt him lift his head off her neck.
Azriel鈥檚 movements stopped and his hand left her chest immediately. 鈥淓lain, take a breath.鈥
Had her breathing changed? Shit, it had. She wasn鈥檛 panting in need anymore; her breaths were far too short. 鈥淲ait,鈥 she finally got the word out that probably should鈥檝e been said a while ago. Elain would be eternally grateful that Azriel could read her body better than she clearly could.
Her eyes were still shut and her fingers hadn鈥檛 left his hair, but she slowed her breathing.
He brought a hand up to her jaw again, stroking it lightly. 鈥淭alk to me, Elain.鈥
She slowly opened her eyes to find him looking down at her with concern. Her cheeks-tinged pink under his scrutiny. 鈥淚鈥檓 sorry鈥斺
鈥淣o,鈥 he stated adamantly. 鈥淒o not apologize for not being ready. Ever.鈥 When she gave him a confirming nod, he rolled off her to retrieve her shirt from the floor and handed it back to her.
Elain鈥檚 cheeks burned as she shucked the fabric back on and sat crisscross on his bed, fingers fiddling with each other in her lap.
Azriel settled in front of her. 鈥淭ell me what鈥檚 going on,鈥 he said softly.
She met his gaze. Saw much of the hazel color had replaced the lust that was there only moments before. It amazed her how he could control his body and bring it down like that, knowing her own was not doing that at all. 鈥淚 was okay for the most part. My body reacted how it should鈥檝e. It was my mind that suddenly took a turn.鈥 She let out a heavy breath, feeling emotions clog her throat and she dropped her eyes back to her lap. 鈥淚 don鈥檛 what exactly triggered it, but I just started hearing things from that day. The sound of his belt. Glass shattering. Then the smell of the alcohol he drank and the cologne he wore.鈥 She shuddered at the memory.
This had always been her fear. That she wouldn鈥檛 be able to let go of the past and it would affect her future relationships. And while she knew that Azriel would never let something like this come between them, she couldn鈥檛 help but feel like this was just another piece of her past coming back to haunt her present and trying to ruin any chance for happiness.
He was silent long enough that her curiosity got the better of her and she finally looked back up at his face. 鈥淚t was too much all at once.鈥
And it was, she realized. If her anxiety hadn鈥檛 flared, Elain would鈥檝e let Azriel fuck her senseless. Had wanted to take that step. But he was right. It was too much too soon. Realizing he was still waiting for her response, she agreed. 鈥淚 think so.鈥
Azriel brought his hand to his mouth, thumb swiping over his plush bottom lip. 鈥淪o, we take baby steps. When you鈥檙e ready to try things and move forward. But I need you to promise me something.鈥
She nodded.
鈥淚f at any point during whatever we鈥檙e trying, you become uncomfortable or you start not to like what is happening, I need you to tell me to stop. I don鈥檛 want you to push yourself to try and move past something when you鈥檙e not ready. And I definitely don鈥檛 want you not to say anything for my benefit.鈥 There was a seriousness to his authoritative tone that made something inside her come alive. 鈥淧romise me you鈥檒l tell me to stop.鈥
Elain reined in whatever it was that purred in response to that. 鈥淚 will.鈥 A twinge between her legs had her shifting on the bed uncomfortably.
Something that the male sitting in front of her noticed. 鈥淲hat鈥檚 wrong?鈥
Her cheeks heated. She knew she shouldn鈥檛 be embarrassed. The man has seen her naked before and they were talking about sex right now. But the last time she told him she was frustrated, she rode and came all over his thigh. Gods she was so awkward.
鈥淵ou have a lot going through your face right now, I can鈥檛 keep up. What鈥檚 going on?鈥
She glared at his smirk. 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 realize I wore my emotions on my face.鈥
鈥淵ou do, just so you鈥檙e aware. But seriously, there鈥檚 something else. I can tell there鈥檚 something you鈥檙e not telling me.鈥
Elain sighed heavily, her face growing impossibly hot. 鈥淢y body hasn鈥檛 quite come down yet.鈥
Az鈥檚 head cocked the side, dark hair sliding across his forehead. 鈥淚 can help with that if you want me to.鈥
Honey-brown eyes blinked at him. 鈥淒idn鈥檛 we just talk about baby steps?鈥
The corner of his mouth quirked up. 鈥淚 was talking about just my hand, Elain. You wouldn鈥檛 even need to remove your clothes.鈥
鈥淥h.鈥 She blushed.
鈥淥r, I can draw you a bath. Or I can just step out of the room if you would like me to. Whatever you wish for me to do.鈥
Gods, this male was the epitome of respectful. If her body wasn鈥檛 desperately needing a release, she would鈥檝e probably started crying. She still might. 鈥淯m, you or, your hand. I鈥檇 like to try your hand鈥hat sounds weird,鈥 her face scrunched in embarrassment.
He chuckled, leaning forward to kiss her. Pecking her nose once, he got up and walked around to settle behind her against the headboard. His arm banded around her waist as he hauled her against him like she weighed nothing. He gathered her hair and pulled it over her shoulder to give him access to the side of her throat. 鈥淲hat are you going to do?鈥 he asked
With his warmth pressing into her back, Elain momentarily forgot what he was talking about. 鈥淚 promise I鈥檒l tell you to stop.鈥
Az kissed her cheek. 鈥淕ood girl,鈥 he murmured.
The praise lit a fire inside her, one she had no idea existed.
鈥淩elax into me.鈥
She did, reclining back into his chest. Elain laid her head back on his shoulder as he splayed his one hand on her stomach, high enough that his thumb again brushed under her breast.
He let his lips suck on her jaw and slowly glided them down her neck to her fluttering pulse. 鈥淧rop your knees up and lean them against my legs.鈥
Again, she did as she was told. Elain was surprised at how much she didn鈥檛 mind being told what to do. But with Azriel, she freely handed over the reins of her will and let him drive her. Especially when it came to her pleasure. It was different when you trusted somebody wholeheartedly.
His fingers stroked at her stomach, slowly making their way higher between her breasts. She breathed in deeply, her body going more languid against his as he inched his other hand down her side towards her hip before dipping inwards.
But instead of going where she desperately needed him, his fingers curled, tracing teasing lines on the inside of her thigh.
鈥淎z,鈥 she mewled, body squirming.
He clicked his tongue, kissing at her jaw. 鈥淣ot yet,鈥 he murmured, sucking at her skin.
Elain鈥檚 head tipped more, giving him better access to her throat.
Azriel smiled against her. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e such a sweet girl,鈥 he said, his hand coming back up her leg, teasing over the damp fabric between her thighs before venturing down her other leg.
She let out a frustrated sound, one that quickly turned into a cry when his thumb found her nipple once more. The texture of the t-shirt adding to the sensitivity as he circled it a few times until finally, finally, his other hand cupped her sex. The heat of his palm and the pressure were like an explosion of fireworks that danced in her blood.
He added more pressure before鈥攇ods bless this male鈥攈e let his thumb part her folds through the damp fabric and slide from the top all the way down and back up. Her body lurched, but he kept her held tight as he set a steady rhythm to his movements, sliding down and up, down and up until she was a mewling mess.
鈥淓asy, baby. You鈥檙e doing so well,鈥 he murmured into her temple, kissing her gently. And when he knew she had reached the edge, he focused his thumb into circular movements over her clit until she exploded.
Her back arched, but he was quick to hold her, never letting her get too far from him as she moaned loudly. Elain wasn鈥檛 sure if people on the street could hear her, but frankly, she didn鈥檛 care. Not as his thumb kept circling her jewel and his other fingers slid along the soaked slit of her boxers. Not as he rang out every ounce of pleasure from her, yet still had her craving more. Even with the orgasm, she still needed more, was still wound too tight.
And that was how she found her hand moving on its own accord, clutching Azriel鈥檚 wrist like her life depended on it, and pulled it from between her legs before sliding it down beneath the waistband of her boxers.
鈥淔uck,鈥 he breathed as the pads of his fingers danced over her bare center, feeling the wetness from the source. But he didn鈥檛 move, kept his hand still even with her hips wiggling against him. 鈥淎re you doing okay?鈥 he asked, checking in.
Elain wasn鈥檛 sure when her eyes had closed, but all she could do was focus on the sensation of his hand and his mouth and where they ravished her. 鈥淵es,鈥 she whined, breath heavy.
He brushed his fingers over her glistening slit, teasing. 鈥淲hat do you want me to do, love?鈥
Her hips jerked, searching for friction against his hand. 鈥淧lease.鈥
Az bit down on her shoulder lightly, enough to grab her attention but not to mark her. 鈥淧lease what, Elain? Use your words?鈥
She had a few choice words for him, but none that could come to mind when she was this hot and needy and desperate for another release. Nor any that would get her what she wanted. 鈥淧lease, Az. Please touch me.鈥
He smirked against her throat. 鈥淪uch a good girl.鈥 His other hand came up to turn her head towards his so he could claim her mouth as his thumb pressed down on her clit.
Elain moaned into his mouth.
He took full advantage of the access, letting his tongue sweep in to claim her as his thumb toyed her nub. His middle finger circled at her entrance once, twice, three times before slowly he pushed it inside of her.
鈥淥h gods,鈥 she cried, hips snapping up. Elain鈥檚 hand shot out from within her underwear and went straight for Azriel鈥檚 hair, grabbing the dark strands on the side of his head in a death grip that was likely painful, but he didn鈥檛 seem to care. Her knees closed together, adding pressure between her legs.
Az鈥檚 mouth worshipped at her neck while his finger set a steady pace, plunging into his farthest knuckle and back out. 鈥淩elax, baby. I need you to relax,鈥 he purred. 鈥淧ut your feet on the outside of mine.鈥澛犅
She was nothing but a whimpering mess. Legs shaking, she managed to do as asked and realized why he wanted her feet there. It gave him more control over how far her legs were spread.
Azriel shifted their feet slightly farther apart, giving his hand more room to move between her thighs.
Elain鈥檚 breath shuddered as he quickened his pace, thumb flicking over her clit with a renewed vigor. When he curled his finger deep inside her, sweeping over that sweet spot she couldn鈥檛 even remember the last time was touched, her entire body pitched.
She fisted his hair, her other hand coming down to clutch the arm wrapped around her torso, nails digging into tattooed skin. 鈥淧lease, please,聽please.鈥 She was nearly sobbing. It was too much. It wasn鈥檛 enough.
He would drag out her pleasure, she knew that. But fuck, she needed this drop. Needed to find that blissful edge.
Elain had gone years without an orgasm and here was Azriel, drawing out the second鈥攚ell, technically third鈥攐ne in less than a month, and they weren鈥檛 even officially a couple.
Increasing the pressure of his thumb and the curl of his fingers, Az tugged on her earlobe between his teeth. 鈥淚鈥檝e got you, El. Let go for me.鈥
And she did. Elain shattered, screaming out a slur of words and syllables that she鈥檚 pretty sure was Azriel鈥檚 name. Her body arched, but he tightened his grip on her, keeping her pressed into him as his fingers worked her through her high.
Her walls clamped down on him and the boxers she wore were soaked with her release, but he kept moving until she went limp against him, her shaking legs slumping heavily against his muscled thighs. Honey-brown eyes fluttered open as she caught her breath.
Azriel pulled his hand from her underwear.
鈥淒on鈥檛 rub that in your hair,鈥 she teased, looking up at him.
He flashed her a sly grin. 鈥淎nd waste a perfectly good meal. Absolutely not.鈥 Making sure he had her gaze locked, Az sucked his middle finger into his mouth, tongue sliding around to catch all of her juices dripping down his knuckles. He pulled his finger from his mouth with an audible pop. 鈥淒elicious.鈥
Elain鈥檚 mouth dropped open as she watched him lick all of her essences from his hand until it was clean. It was possibly the filthiest thing he had ever watched him do before and gods did it make her cheeks flush a warm pink.
Fingers gripped her chin and he leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. She could taste herself on his tongue. It was surprisingly erotic.
鈥淗ow are you feeling now?鈥
鈥淏etter. Relaxed.鈥 A little turned on again after she watched him suck his fingers clean鈥攏ot that she was going to say that little bit out loud. They had explored enough today and she needed to get a better grip on herself. Elain blamed it on the fact that she hadn鈥檛 had sex, or any sort of pleasure, in years.
He kissed the side of her head. 鈥淵ou did so well, my love.鈥
She was also going to blame her uncontrollable hunger on the stark realization that she had a little bit of a praise kink. That was new to her. Some uncharted territory that had never been explored before, but she had a hidden desire to. Especially if it was Azriel saying those things to her.
鈥淵ou鈥檙e quiet,鈥 he stated, guiding her face to look back up at him. 鈥淎re you sure you鈥檙e okay?鈥
Elain smiled softly at him. 鈥淵es, just thinking.鈥
鈥淲hat about?鈥 He let his thumb stroke her jaw, swooping down the curve of her neck. His heartbeat echoed against her spine.
Her cheeks heated under his intense gaze. 鈥淪ome of the things you said鈥uring.鈥
His brows furrowed briefly, then raised as he realized what she meant. 鈥淭he praise.鈥 When she nodded, he asked, 鈥淒id it bother you?鈥
She knew if she had said yes, he wouldn鈥檛 continue doing it and that鈥檇 be the end of it. But that was definitely not what she wanted. 鈥淨uite the opposite actually.鈥
It wasn鈥檛 often Azriel was caught by surprise, but her response clearly did. He tipped his head back and laughed, a deep, beautiful, lovely sound she wanted to bottle up and keep forever. 鈥淚鈥檒l admit some of it slipped. I wasn鈥檛 sure if you鈥檇 like it or not, but I鈥檓 glad you did.鈥
鈥淲here did you even learn to do something like that? Videos online again?鈥 she snarked, a cheeky grin plastered on her face.
Azriel鈥檚 face turned a dark shade of red, possibly the darkest she鈥檇 ever seen before. 鈥淥h my god. It鈥檚 been ten fucking years and that is still coming back to haunt me.鈥
Elain giggled, leaning forward to kiss him softly, shifting slightly against him. The soaked underwear she was wearing was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. 鈥淚 should really go clean up,鈥 she breathed onto his mouth.
鈥淵ou stay here,鈥 he kissed her briefly again. 鈥淚鈥檒l go draw you a bath and then will make breakfast while you freshen up.鈥 He rose off the bed, replacing himself with a pillow behind her back. 鈥淲hat do you want to eat?鈥
Her traitorous eyes dipped low, below the low-hanging waistband of his grey sweatpants to the peaked area that was far beyond what would be considered morning wood.
Holy fuck. The erotic dream from a few weeks ago had not been playing her. Elain felt her entire body clench around nothing. It made her bones go molten at the mere idea of how large he was鈥攈ow he鈥檇 make her feel. Her toes started to curl.
鈥淢y eyes are up here, Elain,鈥 he chastised, playfully.
Her cheeks flamed at being caught checking out a very聽private聽area, and she spat out the first, morning food she could think of from her heated brain. 鈥淧ancakes,鈥 she squeaked.
Az grinned at her blushing face but didn鈥檛 call her out on it. 鈥淚 knew it.鈥 To be fair, pancakes were her favorite breakfast food. Bending forward, he kissed her one last time before he slipped into the bathroom and shut the door.
She heard the tub turn on first. It drowned out most of the other sounds, but after a few minutes, he returned to the bedroom, hardon gone, and went over to his dresser. It didn鈥檛 take her medical degree to know what exactly, he did behind that closed door鈥攏ot that she blamed him. She didn鈥檛 exactly offer to 鈥渉elp鈥 him this morning after what he did for her.
He pulled out a clean t-shirt and pair of boxers, then padded his way back into the bathroom and kicked the bathtub faucet off. When he came back into the bedroom, he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. 鈥淚鈥檒l text Nuala and Cerridwen and see if I can get an update on when we should expect an arrival of your belongings. I鈥檝e left you a clean pair of boxers and another t-shirt in the bathroom. I also turned the jets on in the tub to help you relax.鈥 His fingers brushed over her cheek. 鈥淭ake your time and help yourself to anything in there.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 sorry,鈥 Elain blurted.
Azriel frowned. 鈥淎bout what?鈥
鈥淔or not reciprocating,鈥 she admitted with a nod towards his lap.
The fingers on her cheek moved to cradle her face. 鈥淓lain, you don鈥檛 owe me anything. I was more than happy鈥攁nd willing鈥攖o do that for you this morning. I do not expect you to reciprocate anything. I don鈥檛 even want you to think about doing anything like that until you鈥檙e comfortable too. Please believe me when I say that I can handle myself. I have been since before you came barging into my office.鈥
Her jaw popped open. When she went barging into his office? That was months ago. He hadn鈥檛 been with anyone since before then? 鈥淵ou haven鈥檛鈥?鈥 she couldn鈥檛 even finish the question.
The corner of his mouth curled up. 鈥淎fter you reentered my life, I couldn鈥檛 get you out of my head. Everyone else was unappealing at that point.鈥
His words made her heart trip over itself.
Bringing her head forward, he kissed her softly. 鈥淕o clean up. I鈥檓 going to go start breakfast.鈥
Without another word, he rose from the bed and left her to her business. Elain had to give herself a minute to sit there and process everything he had just done and said.
Gods, she loved this male.
~~~~~
Azriel had no idea why he shared with her that he hadn鈥檛 been with another woman. It was true, he technically hadn鈥檛 fucked another female since, shit, even a month before Elain had returned to his life. He鈥檇 been too busy to even go to his club to look for female company. Aside from that one girl who he picked to try and get his mind off Elain, but that had been the night Amarantha showed up and everything had changed before anything could happen. And even then, he wasn鈥檛 into it or her. It was always聽Elain.
He supposed he could be grateful, in a way. Because it brought her back into his life, though not in a way he would have liked. While they still weren鈥檛 technically a couple鈥攖hat was something he would let her bring up when she was ready鈥攈e hoped that his overshare didn鈥檛 cross any of her boundaries. Didn鈥檛 make her uncomfortable in any way.
Az had given her about ten minutes before he went back upstairs to change into clean clothes. He'd forgone jeans in favor of sweatpants, knowing they weren鈥檛 leaving the penthouse today. He couldn鈥檛 remember the last time he lounged in sweats all day long.
Elain padded her way down the stairs right as he was pouring the last bit of pancake batter onto the griddle. She donned on a pair of his black dress socks and the sweatshirt he purchased when he went to his first professional soccer game with his brothers after he returned from overseas. The black fabric drowned her small frame.
鈥淐old?鈥 he asked, flipping the pancakes.
She nodded, perching herself on one of the barstools. 鈥淚 stayed in the water too long. It cooled off.鈥
Azriel went over to the thermostat and kicked up the temperature a few degrees. Fall was coming into Velaris fast. He could feel the briskness of his bedroom when they first woke, though it quickly warmed up with their morning activities. He shook the thoughts from his head. 鈥淗ow was your bath?鈥
鈥淵our tub is excessive.鈥
A joyous laugh rumbled from his chest as he flipped the last few pancakes onto his stack and carried them over to the set table where the rest of their breakfast awaited. 鈥淓xcessive how?鈥
Elain snorted, following him. 鈥淎side from the size that could fit three people easily?鈥 She narrowed her eyes at his raised brow. 鈥淒on鈥檛 even think about voicing whatever dirty thought is running through your head.鈥
鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 even going to say anything!鈥 he exclaimed, laughing.
She just rolled her eyes, but he saw a small grin fighting its way onto her lips. 鈥淎nd the number of jets is atrocious.鈥
鈥淵ou say that now until you have an awkwardly pulled muscle,鈥 he stated, loading her plate up with food and then his own. He didn鈥檛 miss the shy smile that tugged her mouth at his antics. He may have been fussing. 鈥淒id you at least enjoy it and relax?鈥
Elain shoved a piece of pancake into her mouth, her eyes nearly rolling into the back of her head. 鈥淵es,鈥 she began after swallowing, 鈥淚 did. Thank you.鈥
鈥淚鈥檓鈥斺
The elevator pinged interrupting his sentence.
Everything happened so quickly, he hadn鈥檛 even realized she moved until he felt her. Elain had shot out of her chair so she was standing behind him, her hand clutching at the sleeve of his bicep.
Azriel was up a half-second later, his massive frame blocking whoever entered his place from seeing her. He had momentarily forgotten what Rhys had told him about how Elain acted after she was attacked by Graysen. How she would flinch at a cupboard door closing too loudly. He slid a hand to her cheek, the other on her waist. 鈥淗ey,鈥 he whispered low enough that the person who entered the apartment wouldn鈥檛 be able to hear him. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e safe here.鈥
He was grateful that whoever had entered, read the room, and kept quiet.
It cut him profoundly to see her shoulders shaking slightly. He ducked his head to catch her gaze. 鈥淵ou鈥檙e safe, El,鈥 he repeated.
The worry that weighed heavily in her eyes settled at his words and she inhaled deeply, calming herself. Once she collected herself, she took the hand from her waist to lace their fingers together. 鈥淭hank you. I鈥檓 okay now.鈥
Az鈥檚 eyes flicked over her face, looking for any sign that she wasn鈥檛 being honest with him. When he found nothing, he brought their linked hands to his mouth, brushing his lips over her knuckles before they turned to whoever had entered his place.
Fenrys stood in the entryway of the penthouse, holding a box of what he assumed was Elain鈥檚 belongings. His head was down, likely an attempt to give them some privacy.
鈥淗ello, Fen,鈥 Elain said, moving them both forward.
The golden twin looked up at them. 鈥淕ood morning, Elain, Mr. Knight. I apologize for interrupting. We should鈥檝e texted or called when we arrived.鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 no interruption, Fenrys. And please, call me Azriel.鈥
A charming smile lit his face though it didn鈥檛 quite touch his eyes. 鈥淐on and I were asked to bring over some of Elain鈥檚 things. He鈥檚 loading up a few more boxes in the elevator now. Where would you like us to put these?鈥
Elain glanced at him, the hesitation of where she should put her belongings evident.
That was another discussion they needed to have. Where she wanted to live and whether or not it was temporary. He hadn鈥檛 been lying when he said she could live with him. Whether she chose the guest bedroom or his, he didn鈥檛 care, he just wanted her here with him. 鈥淩ight there by the foyer table is fine, Fenrys. We鈥檒l take care of it from there.鈥
The male nodded, setting the box down as the elevator doors dinged, revealing his polar-opposite twin.
Az was grateful that Elain didn鈥檛 jump at the sound this time. That would be something else they had to work on to help her during her healing journey.
Connall beamed, eyes flicking between the two of them and their joined hands. 鈥淗ello, Elain, Mr. Knight. How are you both doing this morning?鈥
He huffed a laugh. 鈥淚鈥檓 not ever going to get you guys to stop calling me 鈥楳r. Knight鈥 am I?鈥
鈥淣ope.鈥
鈥淣ot likely,鈥 the twins said in unison.
Elain covered her mouth with a hand, trying to hold in a giggle.
Azriel rolled his eyes, releasing her hand to help the twins unload the elevator. There wasn鈥檛 too much here, a few boxes of clothes, textbooks, toiletries, and other essentials.
鈥淒o you guys want to stay for breakfast?鈥 Elain asked once they had finished.
He may have gone a little overboard on their breakfast for two with pancakes, bacon, fresh fruit, coffee, and orange juice. There was plenty for the twins to join them. But Az knew she loved her pancakes and would likely munch on cold ones throughout the day.
Connall hooked an arm around his brother stopping whatever response he was about to say. 鈥淭hank you for the offer, but we鈥檙e okay. We鈥檒l leave you guys to it.鈥
鈥淭hanks again for everything,鈥 Elain murmured, reaching out a hand towards each of them, and for a minute, Az wondered just how much the twins knew about her history.
鈥淎nytime, Elain.鈥 There was genuine love and emotion in those words. Az could hear it. And the way she smiled softly at the twins, he knew Elain could hear it too.
She glanced at the boxes that littered the floor when the elevator doors closed, sweeping the twins back down to the parking garage. 鈥淚 guess we should have a conversation about living arrangements.鈥
鈥淟ater,鈥 he said, taking her hand and guiding her back to the table. 鈥淟et鈥檚 finish breakfast first and then we鈥檒l worry about all of that. Sound good?鈥
Elain plopped back down in her chair.
鈥淭hey really care for you,鈥 he said once they started eating again. 鈥淭he twins I mean.鈥澛犅
She sipped at her coffee. 鈥淲e grew attached to each other while they chauffeured me around.鈥
He snorted. 鈥淚s that what you called it?鈥
She raised a brow. 鈥淲asn鈥檛 it? What would you have called them driving me to and from work?鈥
鈥淓scorting you.鈥
Elain wrinkled her face in the most adorable way. 鈥淣ow it sounds like I鈥檓 paying them for pleasure.鈥
Az really couldn鈥檛 just help himself. 鈥淚 think we both know where you get that from.鈥 He flashed her a self-satisfied grin.
She wanted to argue it鈥攈e could see the retort sitting on her tongue. But in the end, she just rolled her eyes and came around the table to perch herself on his lap.
His hands went to her waist to steady her, but he was surprised when she leaned forward and kissed him softly. Her arm slipped around the backside of his neck, hand sliding into his hair. It wasn鈥檛 a kiss to spark a fire鈥攏othing like the ones they shared this morning鈥攂ut simply to convey her love.
鈥淚 think we do,鈥 she finally answered him, brushing her nose along his.聽聽
Azriel couldn鈥檛 help but smile at her, at his world. Not letting her leave his lap, he kept an arm around her, feeding her bites of pancakes, bacon, and fruit straight from his plate. The simple domesticity of the action wasn鈥檛 something he had shared with anybody else; nor had he ever wanted to until now. It was something he loved sharing with Elain and her alone鈥攅njoying the comforting presence of each other.
It was the best morning he had ever had鈥攐ne he wanted to continue having for the rest of his life.
~~~~~
Remember, sharing is caring! Please reblog if you liked the fic. It helps spread my work and I truly appreciate it. 馃挄
I鈥檓 not doing a tag list anymore because they鈥檙e really more trouble than their worth. For notifications, you can follow and subscribe to my fanfic account where I will be reblogging updates and snippets only. You can also find me on ao3.
My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics鈥
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nikethestatuea day ago
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Mood: Azriel calling Elain聽鈥榤y wife鈥 all the time, to everyone. In Illyrian.聽
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silverdreamscapes25 days ago
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Who is doing it like Elriel? The other couples aren鈥檛 giving the same energy, angst, or yearning.
鈥淚 saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two.鈥
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鈥淎zriel's fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck.鈥
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But he could have this. This one moment, and maybe a taste, and that would be it.聽聽
鈥淵es" Elain breathed, like she read the decision. Just this taste in the dead of the longest night of the year, where only the Mother might witness them.
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Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered her an arm. I couldn鈥檛 tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, 鈥淏eautiful.鈥
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She seemed so small before him, so fragile compared to the scales of his fighting leathers, the breadth of his shoulders. The wings peeking over them.
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鈥淩elax,鈥 Rhys said. 鈥淎zriel isn鈥檛 the ravishing type.鈥
Meanwhile cut to Azriel and Elain in ACOTAR 5:
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stars-who-gazea month ago
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Baby Nyx and his Lovely Auntie Elain
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There isn't enough of them out in the world so I said "Fine I'll do it myself".
It was such a joy drawing these two because I know that Elain would love to nurture and teach this little light that they were blessed with.
Nyx will grow up knowing the basics of botany and medicinal uses for certain plants. He'll run around careful not to step on flowers, and insist on wishing on every dandelion 馃挄
.
As always, please like and reblog馃挋 I'll be posting it in Instagram also very shortly.
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mindpalace052 days ago
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Here are some crack theories for the elriel book:
*let me know if one of these theories have already been written before or developed etc. I dont intend to copy anyones idea*
-Elain is probably going to have a fear of sleeping alone or a fear of water. She was dragged from her safe bed and thrown into a couldron which changed her forever.
- speaking of the couldron, I still think it and Elain are able to communicate or have been communicating with each other. The couldron trying to lure Elain in again so it can have her to itself, or maybe it wants to gift her more abilities...
- Maybe Elain might go into the couldron again for a power up. I definitely think she's going to have the choice to either become human again or become more powerful from her fae form. Bonus she gets wings during this new transformation
- Elain is going to leave the NC.
I think something is going to set her of and make her run away whether that will be Lucien or Az. She'll run away and happen to find herself at rose Hall. When Az revealed that Elain was a seer, he froze and left...to go where? In acofas we find out that someone may be staying at Rose Hall. Most likely his mother. I think it'll make sense to have Elains mother who may also have seer abilities train Elain. Anyways, Elain goes into rose Hall and has no idea the woman before her is Azs mother. She stays there for 3 months developing her powers before going back to the IC
- There are so many ways sjm can go with Elains abilities. But I think one main ability I want Elain to have is to bring life back to the dead. Bring dead people back alive. Be able to change the physical form of not only herself but others too. Like Vassa's. Maybe Elain can break the curse by giving Vassa a new form.
She can also create illusions, play tricks on people's minds. Possess and control them. With good intentions of course.
- Azriel is Rhys half brother. Az himself isn't fully illyrian and he is quite powerful. Rhys and him both get described as being similar. It wouldn't be surprising if sjm chose to go this route. It'd be a huge plot twist. Maybe when Elain goes to live at rose Hall, she finds out the truth about Az and Rhys. Azs mother makes her promise not to reveal it to anyone.
- I want a death scene and the angst that will come with it. Azriels mother dies and Elain is there to comfort him.
-in terms of powers will Elain be more like Wanda Maximoff or Dr strange? Just less experienced.
- I absolutely need a scene where Elains powers are becoming too much so Az takes her to a field and Elain screams letting it all out. Her powers come out of her in such a force the trees fold back, mountains shake, boulders break etc. Az holding Elain as she sobs and comes to terms with her losses.
- Elain and Lucien have been trying to break the bond between them without letting the other or anyone else know. But they can't since it isn't a true bond.
- Elain and Lucien will defintley have some sort of journey together. What I'm hoping for is that they escape the AC with The LOA and Eris. They run to Helions day court and stay there for a few days. There Helions reveals to lucien and elain that they don't have a mating bond, it's a spell of some sort. As they're finding ways to break the spell Elain goes on a discovery and finds that there are many different types of bonds one being a soul bond or the carranam bond. Lucien wants to try to see of they're carranam but Elain doesn't. She wants to see if her and Az are carranam but in fear of rejection she keeps the thought to herself.
-As much as I hate this, I have a feeling Elain and Tamlin will meet and may have a journey of healing together.. SJM is clearly following a pattern plus she kept tamlin relevant up to now.
-Elain will hate the SC. Like feyre she too will feel trapped. Maybe the SC represents what everyone thinks Elain as, what her mother wanted her to be.
- Elain is able to enter the world of the dead. Able to communicate with dead souls maybe is able to give give a form etc. There she meets The suriel who teaches her a bit more about her powers.
-Last one, Elain is able to go into other people's dreams and control their dreams. Or is able to create herself a dimension where no one else can reach her. She goes there when she wants to escape.
This has gotten quite long, but these are just a few crack theories. I think some of them have a slight chance of happening but who knows.
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the-laughing-bubble2 days ago
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馃きDon't do it!馃槱
When you get brave and dive into the acotar tags you decided to unfollow a couple of months ago for your own peace...馃槼
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and now you reading some stuffy arse bullshit that just prompts you to genuinely ask questions and then flip some tables over馃槱馃槀馃槀
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And then responses that come back at you have you feeling like you are doing an experiment where the equations aren't making sense and now you and peace are playing f鈽昪ken tag馃憖
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And then you remember that not everyone who can read a 700 page book can actually read with comprehension... And ignorance is truely bliss for some, sounding all sorts of misaligned woke and shit
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馃槀馃槀馃槀I'm never gonna look at anyone buying the same ACOTAR book as me, or reading the same ACOTAR book as me in the same joy and light I used to馃槀馃槀馃槀 yo it could be another one of them delusional souls out in them streets馃槀馃槀馃槀
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And before anyone jumps on their high horse to go Sparta on me for saying what I said.
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馃ぃ馃ぃ馃槀馃槈馃槈馃尯馃尯馃槝馃槝馃き
!!!!Oh and Happy FriYay!!!鈽猴笍
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emnlln19 hours ago
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Elriel 鈥淲hy Me?鈥 Pt 2
Elain: 鈥淲hy me?鈥
Az: Because鈥︹淚n you, I have finally found all I never dared dream I could deserve or have鈥 the kind of love that is rare. Being known in a way that touches the deepest parts of me. Accepted in a way that blows my mind.鈥
Elain: 鈥溾︹
Az: 鈥淚n you, the love I have always desired to give now has a place to call home. I have been a skeptic , but you are my undeniable miracle. The questions don鈥檛 matter anymore. We have finally found each other, and that is enough.鈥
- [My Undeniable Miracle by John Mark Green]
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leiaamidala2 months ago
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鈥 Azriel's fingers lingered at her nape, atop the first knob of her spine. Slowly, Elain pivoted into his touch. Until his palm lay flat against her neck.聽聽
It had never gone this far. They'd exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching.聽
Wrong -- it was so wrong.聽聽
He didn't care.聽聽鈥
A Court of Silver Flames, by Sarah J. Maas
漏 Art by @blustock (blustock_ on Instagram and Twitter), commissioned by me.
This is for all my lovely, beautiful Elriels. Let鈥檚 keep going!馃挏
Please give full credit to artist and me if reposting.
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offtorivendella month ago
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When Azriel first met Elain, in ACOMAF, she made him smile:
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After the war against Hybern, in ACOWAR, Elain鈥檚 smile made Azriel's shadows brighten from all the way across the room:
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In ACOFAS, Elain made Azriel laugh with more joy than Feyre had ever heard, his eyes brightening more than she had ever seen before:
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Then, three days after Rhys forbade Azriel from seeing Elain, in ACOSF, he was still stone-faced and unable to smile:
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And you're telling me that these two wouldn't give us an amazing friends-to-lovers forbidden romance, filled with light complementing dark imagery, intrigue and adventure?
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