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#probably a mistake I'll see in the morning. whoops
humanityinahandbag · 2 years
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Headcanons I wrote after one too many, 3 AM
Knuckles has beef with ducks. Specifically those crosswalk ducks from movie 1. He believes them to be conspiring, but for what he does not know.
Tails has the bravery of a wealthy woman's purse dog. Which is to say; a whole lot of erratic, questionable, bite sized bravery. He may be the first of them to learn a swear word but he also will be the last to understand what it means.
Sonic.
Maddie and Tom are starting to bring adoption papers around with them in tissue boxes because every time they sneeze, another kid drops from a portal.
Agent Stone realizes that the true villain was capitalism and goes back to selling coffee at a mark-up.
The army is going to carry Shadow about in a mini fridge while he defrosts.
They open up the fridge while he is reciting ominous anti-hero speeches and so he can hand the government their diet coke
"Shadow, don't do this!" Sonic screams before whipping out a boom box that miraculously begins to play You Had a Bad Day, Chipmunks Cover. Shadow now hates Sonic even more.
Maddie and Tom won't let Shadow destroy their house until he uses his manners. "Can I destroy your house?" he finally asked through gritted teeth. "No, but thank you for asking,"
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narutogwriting · 3 years
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Greetings! It I. Whomever the f*ck that is!
I don't know if anyone's every told you, but your writing is absolute Grade A Quality. And I, as in me, happen to nurse quite the interest for said A Grade writing. Shocking, is it not? Foolish! Of course it is not! Surprising. That is. It IS the best writing afterall! I- Hm... ఠ_ఠ
Okay, I'll stop horsing around, sorry,,,
I have come to make a request if that is alright with you and you do not have too many already!
I recently discovered the song "Heart Attack" by Deni Lovato and would really love a little story with boisterous and playful reader that's had the second longest-standing crush(after Hinata's, cuse, MAN, that girl be the inventor of pinning no jutsu) known to everyone, but Lee, where the crew could be out throwing one of those rare party where a majority of them can be present, eventually ending in a karaoke where the fuzzy warmth of what little alcohol the reader drank gives them the little bit of missing courage(or sensibility) to, just, climb on a table and spill all their feelings, love and frustration into this one song before loudly announcing that This One's For Lee, like a challenge.
If you would have the space/kindness to add the aftermath where the reader immediately sobers up after comfessing and just, absconds through a window, I would be the most grateful gal alive,,, >v<
I'll venmo you a goat.
Okay this was seriously WAY too fun to right Naruto is my one true love but Rock Lee was my first Naruto crush<3
HEART ATTACK
Pairing: Rock Lee x Reader
CW: good old fluff
Length: 3.6+
Summary: Rock Lee has been your not so secret crush for as long as you can remember. You’re determined to take it to your grave, but what happens when you’re drunk at a karaoke bar doesn’t stay at the karaoke bar...
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The music was loud, the room was dark, and everyone was there. How long had it last been since everyone was able to get together?
The life of a shinobi was a busy, dangerous one. There was little time for laugh and play, especially as you all got older. It was easier when you’d just graduated from the academy. All of the missions given to new genin were level D to C, little things like gardening or finding lost pets that didn’t take much time or require you to even leave the village. It was easy for everyone to find time to get together and hang out.
But as time passed, things changed. Everyone’s ranks were different, some people like Shikamaru took up more political roles in the village. It was easy to drift apart without even realizing it.
So tonight was one of those rare moments where the stars aligned and the old group was able to get together to hang out.
The venue of choice; a karaoke bar.
It was the first time you were all able to drink together… Well, legally at least.
“Thanks, Kiba.” You giggled, giving him a flirtatious wink as you took the drink he’d just bought you, sipping it. Did you like Kiba? No. But was he fun to flirt with? Absolutely. And if that flirting led to him wanting to buy your drinks for you, well, who were you to deny him?
Kiba was cute; that wasn’t the problem. Heck, most of the guys from the Leaf were cute and way too easy to get along with. You’d known them practically your whole life, grown up together even, but despite all their great qualities, it was only one shinobi who had your heart, and he didn’t even know it. 
The first time you’d seen Lee was before the first test in the Chunin exams. He had easily taken on Naruto and Sasuke without batting an eye. He was so swift, so smooth, you’d watched him in awe. He was a bit eccentric, but had a focus and prowess you’d never experienced before. You thought he was amazing.
You were content to watch him from afar until the preliminaries. During his fight with Gaara, you’d held your breath, watched in horror and amazement as he took on the demon of the sand. You didn’t think you breathed once during that battle.
Lee lost, was almost killed by Gaara before Guy stopped him, but it was the best you’d ever seen someone fight in your life.
Timidly and nervously, you visited Lee in the hospital that day. He was unconscious, but in stable condition. You didn’t know what motivated you, but you began to visit every day, leaving flowers and small treats for Lee to wake up to.
When he finally had woken, you were trying to slink out of the room quietly when you heard him speaking, causing you to freeze in your tracks. 
“Who are you?”
Apprehensively, you turned to face Lee with a small smile. You’d never been shy, but there was something about Lee that made you weak-kneed.
After introducing yourself, you went back to his bedside. “I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re very strong. You’re so skilled and quick; I think you’re the best ninja I’ve ever seen…”
You were only thirteen, didn’t have much experience in the ninja world, so the words you spoke were true. You didn’t know if telling him that, as a total stranger, would make him think you were weird.
Imagine your shock when Lee burst out in happy tears.
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
You supported Lee in his recovery, and even when he couldn’t go on missions himself, he cheered you on from the sideline.
From the very beginning, it was evident to everyone in the village that you were head-over-heels for Lee. Your quiet bashfulness when Lee was around was a stark contrast to your usual loud and confident self. Everyone knew about your crush.
Everyone except for Lee.
“Why don’t you just tell him?” Tenten asked you once. “You never know.”
But you’d only shaken your head. “He loves Sakura. Everyone knows that.” You told her. “Besides. We’re friends. I don’t want to ruin that friendship.”
So despite your friendliness, your flirtatious nature, and the fact that you could have just about any of the rookie nine wrapped around your finger if you so pleased, you weren’t interested in any of them.
Rock Lee was the only one that had your heart and he didn’t even know it. He never would.
Instead of focusing on that, or the cute way Lee’s cheeks went red after he took a shot, or how Lee spent a lot of time that night talking to Sakura, you took shots with Ino and Tenten and let Kiba buy you drinks and danced with Choji when he asked.
Overall, the night was going great. Everyone was having a good time and getting along and so far only Naruto had gotten just a little too drunk; everyone else was riding a nice buzz.
Shikamaru had just finished a less than enthusiastic rendition of “The Lazy Song” that had left everyone doubled over laughing at the irony. “Who should go next!?” Naruto yelled, looking around to see who still hadn’t sung a song.
And okay, maybe Naruto wasn’t the only one who had drank just a little too much. Watching Lee sit and laugh with Sakura the past hour had left you feeling just a tad bit jealous, leading you to drink more than you normally would. He’d barely said anything to you that, and the two of you were supposed to be friends.
“What’s so good about Sakura anyways? She’s really not that great.” You swished the liquid in your cup, mumbling the words you knew you would regret the next morning. Sakura had never been anything but nice to you; you knew she didn’t deserve to be the target of your jealousy. 
Ino snickered. “Geez you’ve got it bad.” She commented with a roll of her eyes before hearing Naruto’s question. Her eyes lit up, and, grinning, she hurried to the microphone, looking through the book of songs available to sing. She flipped through for a moment or two before turning to Naruto and whispering something to him.
All of this escaped your attention as you were drowning in the misery of your own thoughts before you realized: everyone was chanting your name. You blinked, looking around to see everyone staring at you, pounding on tables and counters as they encouraged you to get up and sing.
Laughing, you shook your head nervously, not wanting to go embarrass yourself before Lee caught your eye. Even he was encouraging you to go up and perform. Well, if he wanted you to, then you would sing your heart out!
You downed two more shots before pushing to your feet, which was an obvious mistake.
The alcohol always hit hardest after you stood up.
“Woah, there.” Tenten laughed, standing to help you. Somehow, you made it to the stage. Naruto snickered as he passed you the microphone. He couldn’t wait to see this.
You held the microphone tightly in your hands as your eyes scanned the room with all your friends staring expectantly at you and cheering you on. You felt good. Really good. Your vision was blurry, head dizzy, stomach warm, and everything about you was giddy. It was your turn, and you were ready to make a statement. 
Glancing at the screen, you saw the name of the song appear. Heart Attack by Demi Lovato.
“I’m gonna dedicate this song to someone very special to me,” You slurred into the microphone, giggling. Your friends in the crowd whooped and cheered as the music began. 
“This one’s for you Lee!”
With that, you closed your eyes to block out the reactions of everyone and everything, and you sang. You sang your little heart out, put on the drunken performance of a lifetime. Your years of pent up feelings and nerves and fears surrounding Lee all went into that song.
As you sang the last word, you opened your eyes again, taking in everyone’s reaction. Glee, surprise, happiness. You were grinning; you’d killed it.
That was when your eyes landed on Lee. It was hard for you to gage his reaction. More than anything he looked… confused. And that was when the weight of what you’d just done settled on you. Oh shit.
You’d all but confessed your feelings for Lee… Drunkenly… In front of everyone.
The realization was all it took for you to sober up. Quickly, you shoved the microphone back into Naruto’s hands and fled the karaoke bar.
You weren’t really sure how you’d even made it home. Everything was kind of blurry. You remember running from the karaoke bar, a girl’s voice, probably Tenten’s, calling after you. You remember vomiting. A lot. That’s actually what you were doing now. You’d woken up with your head basically in the toilet.
You could have gone for some blissful moments where you didn’t remember what had caused you to sprint home from the bar, but alas, you couldn’t forget.
You’d confessed your years long crush through song.
How were you ever going to face Lee again?
You wouldn’t, you decided. You would spend the rest of your life in that house. You could have your groceries delivered, you weren’t going to need new clothes if you never went outside. You would just lay in your bed until you withered away into nothingness.
~
“You can’t stay in here forever,” Tenten rolled her eyes, tugging the blanket that you were hiding under off the bed.
“Watch me,” you whined in reply, holding a pillow over your head. “I totally embarrassed myself! He probably thinks I’m so lame!”
Tenten could only snicker at that. “Lee? Thinking you’re lame? Right.”
It took a bit of convincing, and you were basically kicking and screaming, but Tenten was able to drag you out of your home back into the real world. “No one’s going to care,” She assured you as the two of you walked. “We were all plastered. I’m sure no one will even remember!”
If only that were true. 
“Hey!” Kiba called as he and Naruto approached you and Tenten. “Have you guys seen Lady Tsunade around here? I have this pain in my chest…”
Naruto grabbed Kiba’s arm in mock fear. “Oh no! Kiba, are you having a heart attack!?” 
The two of them doubled over in hysterics; tears were even streaming down their faces. You could feel your face burning red in embarrassment. You’d never wanted to disappear so badly. 
“Beat it you two!” Tenten snapped, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. “Ignore them! They’re idiots!”
Head buried in your hands, you shook your head. “God! How am I ever going to live this down! I’m going home!” You pulled out of Tenten’s grip. “I’m going to move villages, change my name, and make sure Lee never sees my face again!”
“Uh, well, if that’s the case you better run…” Tenten said awkwardly, nudging you. “Because Lee’s coming this way…”
And there he was. In his green jumpsuit, bowlcut and all, Lee was heading straight for you. God you were sure you were going to vomit again.
“Good morning Tenten,” Lee greeted, though nowhere near in his usual upbeat tone. “Would you mind giving us a moment alone?” He asked. Tenten glanced over at you nervously.
“Yeah… Sure Lee…”
~
“I do not understand it, Sakura.” Lee sighed, toying with the drink in his hands as his eyes were locked on you drinking and laughing with Tenten and Ino. “I have never had any issue telling you that I think you are beautiful. But with her… It is different.”
Sakura giggled, feeling the drink in her own veins. “Because, Lee. You like her like her. You should just tell her!” Even drunk, Sakura would never betray your trust by telling Lee the obvious; that you liked him as much as he liked you. But it was infuriating to sit on both sides listening to the two of you cry over your feelings day after day and not tell you!
Lee shook his head, taking a gulp from his drink. “I cannot. I am not like Guy Sensei, as much as I try to be. I am not cool or good looking. I do not think I am smooth. I do not know how to talk to a girl I like.”
It took everything in Sakura not to burst out laughing. Guy Sensei? Cool? Good looking? Smooth?
“This is ridiculous. How much longer do I have to hear about how great you think she is before you finally tell her?!”
Rock Lee could barely hear Sakura; he was zoned in on you. Everything about you entranced Lee from the very first time he saw you trying to sneak out of his hospital room. You were beautiful, of course. Your hair always seemed to fall just right. Your smile brightened up a room. The kindness in your heart radiated from you. He loved how confident and outgoing you were and that you had an energy that could match his.
It wasn’t like Lee hadn’t tried to tell you before. There were plenty of times when it was just the two of you that he was tempted, but he could never get it out. There just weren’t many people that he connected so easily with. Guy Sensei was his idol; he wanted to be just like his sensei! But that wasn’t the same as having a friend. Even with his teammates, there was a level of professionalism to it all--maybe thanks to Neji--that kept him from feeling like he could truly be understood. 
But with you, everything was so easy. Laughing came easily, talking and opening up about the things he struggled with… There was a naturalness to it he’d never experienced before. He was terrified to lose it. 
So that night at the karaoke bar, he sat with Sakura whining about the same thing he had been for months now instead of doing something about it. That wasn’t like Lee at all, but that was what you did to him. You made him so nervous he couldn’t even be him.
He was sure you knew his eyes were locked on you all night, ogling like a total weirdo. He’d barely even talked to you. He had hoped that the alcohol would loosen him up and spur him into action, but he’d just shut down even more, causing him to wallow in his own self pity.
Why couldn’t he be more like Kiba? He was over there, so smooth and cool, grinning and chatting you up and buying you drinks. Lee wanted to be that guy to you!
“Oh, look! She’s gonna sing next!” Sakura nudged Lee, nodding at the stage where you were grasping the microphone. You were clearly inebriated, and the redness in your cheeks just made you look all the cuter to him.
“I’m gonna dedicate this song to someone very special to me!” Lee’s heart dropped into his stomach. He couldn’t even hope that he would be the one that you would devote a song to. So when it was his name that had left your mouth, he sat in there in a state of shock. It wasn’t even dawning on him. Sakura shook his shoulder excitedly as you belt out the lyrics to Heart Attack. 
“Lee, she’s singing to you!” 
It just couldn’t process. Was it the alcohol? Was it the absolute surprise at what was happening? Whatever it was, by the time you had finished, Lee had continued to stare at you, open mouthed. It was only when you’d sprinted out of the bar that Lee had come to his senses.
He’d done his best to follow you, but he was drunker than he thought and had stumbled around just a little too long. By the time he’d gotten himself straightened out, you were long gone.
He’d stayed up all night long thinking about it, thinking about you. 
The whole night, he turned it over and over again in his mind; what else could that have meant other than you liked him back? It was too good to be true! But it was true? Lee drove himself mad.
The goal with his walk wasn’t necessarily to find you. Moreso, he had just wanted to clear his head, maybe get advice from Guy Sensei. But he’d ran into you and Tenten before he could do any of that.
As Tenten gave the two of you space, he stared at you bashfully. The longer the silence went on, the redder his cheeks became. Just as he was getting up the courage to say something, you broke the ice.
“Lee, look. About last night… I’m sorry. That was so embarrassing! I was just so drunk and… I wasn't thinking straight.” You were rambling on nervously, scratching the back of your head and avoiding his gaze, acting like you wanted to laugh the whole thing off. 
Lee nodded slowly, letting your words sink in. So… He had misread the whole thing, then? The thought hit him like a blow to the stomach, taking the breath straight out of him. That sucked. “Right, of course!” He said quickly. “It is okay, really. I had drunk a lot as well!”
How did he get out of here? Lee was tempted to drop the weights from his ankles and take off running as fast as he could.
The discomfort was plain on his face, though. You knew Lee well; you could tell something was wrong.
You had to drop your playful facade. You felt like you’d really screwed things up. “Are… Are you mad at me?” You finally asked him quietly.
The question startled Lee. He frowned, tilting his head. “Why would I be upset with you? You are my friend.” You could only shrug helplessly. You were sad and embarrassed and confused, and now Lee was upset. Of course you thought it was your fault. You didn’t know that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
The silence was heavy, making you sigh and shake your head. “Well, uh, I should go meet up with Tenten again…” You mumbled, staring at the floor. After this, she definitely couldn’t drag you out of your bedroom again.
You lifted your hand, waving goodbye before turning away. You didn’t get more than a step away before Lee was grabbing your arm, his body reacting quicker than his mind. “Wait. Please.”
Of course you stopped, turning back to face him. You were too fearful to be hopeful, unwilling to get excited for something that wouldn’t happen, but you held your breath anyways as you stared up at him.
“I was not completely honest. I am upset, it is just not with you…” When you didn’t respond, only continued to stare at him with those earnest eyes, he had no choice but continue. He dropped your arm, his hand going to nervously rub at the back of his neck instead. He didn’t know how to do this, but he had the feeling it was now or never.
“The truth is, yesterday when you sang that song, and you said you were dedicating it to me, I believed it was because you had feelings for me. So just now, when you said you were not thinking straight, it made me upset because I have feelings for you. I was hoping that you would tell me that you felt the same…”
You didn’t think you’d ever seen Lee so red before. It was like a cartoon, the way it creeped up from his chin all the way to his forehead, shooting up like a thermometer. You could only imagine that you looked the same. Your face felt like it was on fire. 
It took a moment for it all to sink in. There was a pause before it dawned on you; Lee just confessed that he had feelings for you! He liked you! The giddiness sent trembles through you as you broke out into a huge grin that you couldn’t stop.
“Lee, you idiot!” You laughed, smacking his arm. “I do like you! That’s the whole reason I humiliated myself in front of everyone yesterday!”
You know that look that Lee gets when he’s happy? His pupils dilate, glistening like googly eyes. The blush dusts the tops of his cheeks, he even gets a bit teary eyed.
All classic Lee and exactly what you got after your confession.
“I cannot believe it!” He cried, pulling you into a hug and twirling you around without hesitation. Now that he had confirmation about how you felt, any inhibitions he had been harboring were gone just like that. He wasn’t going to waste another moment not showing you exactly how he felt. “I have wanted to tell you for so long! I just did not think you felt the same way! This is fantastic!”
Lee’s enthusiasm was as contagious as ever. It didn’t take long before you were hugging Lee back and laughing along with him. When he finally calmed down, Lee released you, taking your hands in his instead and grinning at you.
“So does this mean you will go on a date with me?”
“Is that you asking me?” You giggled. Lee nodded enthusiastically. “Then yes; of course I will.”
Lee pulled you into another hug. “Would you like to know something?” He questioned, giggling childishly, so of course you nodded. “I almost had a heart attack asking you that question!”
The groan was immediate as you pulled away, smacking your forehead. “Lee!” You whined, cringing in embarrassment. “I am also having a heart attack trying to work up the nerve to do this…” For a guy that was so fast, he moved agonizingly slow as he leaned down to press his lips to yours. A heart attack, huh? Yeah, you were never going to live that down. But if this was the price to pay, well then, you didn’t mind all that much.
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"The Legend of Vox Machina" S1E1-3 Reaction
THAT'S RIGHT- IMMA DO THIS
I do wanna get a few things out of the way though: as a "new" Critter, I am actually not that familiar yet with the first campaign. I do know a lot of the major beats for things through the Briarwood Arc (which this first season is covering) and beyond, but episodes 1-24ish I don't know of so please don't spoil that for me in the replies.
For this reaction series, I will be using the hashtag #purvan's reaction post stolen for the ages so if any of you guys want to find more reactions to this specific series, you can click on the tag in my blog.
On with the show!
AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.
"The Terror of Tal'Dorei" Part 1
Found out LAST NIGHT [when I recorded this] that Amazon made a big whoops and released the episodes EARLIER than the allotted time slot. I don't if it was a legitimate mistake on their end or an intentional move. Who knows.
Literally wasted time last night watching Matt rage playing Monopoly with Game Grumps and Sam's Battle Royale. Ez cool.
*smiles when Matt begins to narrate about Tal'Dorei*
Is the wizard Liam?
*jaw immediately drops when the group gets instantly killed*
This animation is really good, holy snot!
The Murder-hobos!
"Do not rest until you bring me the greatest band of mercenaries in all of Tal'Dorei!" Ehhh, varying opinion on that...
They even sound drunk, I'll give them credit!
"Are you offering to help?" *shuts down*
The tabaxi meowed!
Wait, we're starting it off like this?!? Oh wow.
*cracks up at Percy not even trying to dodge*
Did he [Vax] just rob them [the other customers]?
*loudly grimaces when Keyleth vomits in the dog-person's mouth, making them vomit*
"Why does this happen every time we go drinking?!?" Wonder why...
TRINKET!
*gasps when Percy's gun misfires*
*full jaw drop when we cut to Scanlan and the naked woman in bed*
"What is that gnome doing with my daughter?" "It's probably best you don't know." *incomprehensible shocked laughter*
"Does that mean... we've been kicked out of every tavern in Emon?" First world problems?
How did they get their name?
"Pike, ethics are a luxury we can't afford." Oh give her some credit!
"Vex and Vax only care about themselves." "Well [expletive] you." *laughs*
Oh my God, they didn't really have to show that [Scanlan peeing]
"What's the matter with you?!?" That's Matt!
Mercenaries... line line line line line REWARD!
*groans and covers screen when Scanlan's pants drop* I'm didn't see that
That is a giant bear
*Grog loudly belches* Euggh, I don't like that
"It's a rather clever play on words-" "Honestly we don't care." *wheezes*
"Allow me to give you a proper introduction." Oh no we're getting a song?
"He's Vax." "She's Vex." *laughs*
*laughs awkwardly as Scanlan starts rapping and mutes it*
AN: I did go back and listen to the entire song. It rocks. I also have the twin part stuck in my head for the past two days.
Why did I get like... vibes of Galavant and "The Morning Report" from The Lion King in that song?
Yes, get the bear, get the bear! I see you, Khary Payton!
"He got his hand cut off in a bar room brawl." "Oh shit." *laughs*
*Vex senses something mentally in the room* What was that? What was thaaat?
The backgrounds look really pretty
Isn't the Shale Steps like three miles away from Emon though? Is it just a power move to use the skyship?
*laughs* She's [Keyleth] just started talking to the tree!
Matt is literally playing every NPC in this show
"Are you a wizard?" Next campaign
*Keyleth and Vax share a look* Oooh... oohh...
These backgrounds are so pretty!
*gaps when the dragon stomps on the lamb in front of them*
*pretty much in shock for the entirety of the dragon fight*
This is awesome!
*Keyleth starts to summon lightning* Oh let's go, let's go girl!
That is a really intimidating design, oh my gosh.
No, the episode can't be over already!
"Grog, you're hurt." "Nah, it's just a flesh wound." *wheezes*
"This is why I hate traveling with holy people." *wheezes again*
Oh, so her ranger ability is a Spider-Sense? That's awesome.
This music is awesome
*Grog picks up Pike and puts her on his shoulders* Aaww
They're not gonna end the episode there. Nuh uh.
*still fangirling about the animation*
*gasps when they find the town in ruins*
*gasps when Vax finds the family they spoke to earlier dead*
"That was... actually well stated, Grog." "What was?" "Nevermind." *laughs*
*gasps* The silver piece!
"The Terror of Tal'Dorei" Part 2
[Nudity, violence, foul language] No way!
I like the different designs for the background tieflings
*jaw drops when the Captain is DISINTEGRATED VIOLENTLY IN FRAME* They didn't need to show that!
That was just the intro?!?
Oh this opening's gorgeous
Let's go!
They're setting up for the Conclave at the end of the season, aren't they? $500 says so.
"Doom? We don't know the meaning of the word!" *chuckles*
Look at them [the guards] loving Trinket!
*laughs when Vax flicks Pike's ear on their way down the stairs*
*smiles when Gilmore enters the scene*
Was that Sprinkle?
"Why if it isn't the mysterious Vax'ildan?" Did they just do the "love interest" panning shot on Vax?
*leans back in my seat as Vax and Gilmore flirt and then CONTINUE* I feel like a fourth wheel!
*wheezes and face plants at Tusk Love*
*laughs at Gilmore's disappointed gasp at the silver pieces*
There's a triceratops skull on the shelf
He [Gilmore] just slaps the page. That's awesome
"If we survive this, I owe you dinner." "You owe me more than that, my handsome half-elf." *leans back in seat again* Yeah like chocolate, about 500 gold.... that ass...
"All right you two, foreplay's over." *laughs*
Is that the same Matt NPC? That poor guy.
*cackles as Grog rolls behind the ale cart* Nat 20 Stealth!
"Dreadful taste in art." Wait they said dragons are egomaniacs and Krieg has a portrait of himself in the staircase. It's literally him. He's the dragon.
*gasps when Sir Fince gets freaking impaled*
Oh, the rug! The rug!
"Look for some kind of fulcrum." "Wait, a [expletive] room." "I mean, that's what I heard." *laughs*
*laughs at Vex being salty at Vax complimenting Keyleth*
"Look, they're in the booty!" *laughs* They're so immature!
"Seems excessive for a council member." "Seems excessive for anyone." Percy, you literally have like a Scrooge McDuck vault! Don't talk to me!
*leans back in shock at the GIANT GREEN EYE looking back at Keyleth* What was that?!?
He [Krieg] is the dragon!
*jaw drops at Krieg transforming into his dragon form* THAT WAS SO BALLER!
"Vax, did Gilmore give you any insight on how to kill this thing or did you two flirt the entire time?!?" "Shit! Right, right, uh..." *laughs*
*Brimscythe wipes out the group* It's an illusion!
*jaw drops at the ominous chanting in the soundtrack*
*giggles at Percy Naruto running*
*Vax running around the falling rocks* Oh, slow-mo! Let's go!
*pretty much silently loses her mind as Grog decides to rage*
*laughs* She's [Vex] stealing an armful of gold!
"We got 'em, kid." Aaww...
Who's on the Council of Tal'Dorei? Who's on the Council?
*chuckles at Keyleth ruining the moment between the twins*
*gasps* The Briarwoods!
OK, Sylas, whatchu got?
Whaaaaaat?
*episode ends* WHA-
"The Feast of Realms"
*gasps when we open with a flashback to the De Rolos*
What's with the dog?!?
You can't just open it like that! Are you kidding me?!? I don't even know if I wanna sit through the opening because I want to get to the opening!
*Establishing shot of Greyskull Keep* Oh that looks so pretty!
*laughs as Grog sneak attacks Vax with ball tag*
*Allura walks into the keep* Oof, this place is a bit of a fixer upper
"You have my word nothing will go wrong." Absolutely everything will go wrong
*Scanlan's codpiece* Why?
*wheezes at Grog and Vax's curtsises*
Matt!
"Ahem!" Scanlan, don't.
"What?!? You wanna get freaky with me?!?" Oh no
*gasps when the Briarwoods are announced*
Why are they giving him [Percy] the anime fish eye lens? I don't like that
*silently and openly ogling Vax in his formal wear good lord here's my money sir*
"The safe word is... chenga." *laughs*
*Percy realizes that they have to sit across the Briarwoods* Oh no
Ohhhh nooo
"Shit's about to get real!" Oh no
OH God... are they just pretending that they don't know each other?
"Percy, I [Grog] say you walk over to the Briarwoods, say hello to break the ice, and then punch them in the face." That works.
Oh God, I wanna see that dinner go down, are you kidding me?
OK, Vax, I see you with the little cow lick. I see you, man.
I wonder if Sylas has been feeding off Desmond.
*gasps when Vax uses his snake belt to distract the guards*
Why is she still wearing her gloves while she's eating? C'mon, Delilah, etiquette!
*gasps when Sylas charms Sovereign Uriel*
Oh mah God!
C'mon, Percy, say something.
"Have we... met before?" Oh no
*gasps when Percy breaks his glass out of anger*
Did they really just make a bead joke? Are you kidding me?
Vax, what are you doing? I do not like this.
"LIARS!" Percy!
Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy!
Oh no... Vax... Vax, get out of there! Vax!
*gasps when Vax finds mention of the Whispered One*
You gotta get outta there!
"Gosh, you're a handsome couple.." *wheezes with laughter*
*jaw drops when Sylas charms Vax*
"I'll distract them. You go." Scanlan, I do not trust anything- no
*jaw dropped for pretty much the remaining 7 minutes of the episode*
*laughs when Grog hurls NPC Matt out of the weapons closet*
C'mon, Vax!
"Would you look at that, dear?" LINE! PER! LINE!
I forgot about Craven Edge!
"Thanks, Pike!" Radiant weapon!
*Allura facepalms at Scanlan's song* Same!
*Percy goes after Desmond* Oh no, ohhhhh!
*pretty much in shock for the entire Orthax smoke sequence*
"You fool. Now your soul is forfeit." Oh my God, stop, stop!
NO! No, no no no... NO! YOU CANNOT END IT THERE! NO!
19 notes · View notes