#probably about 12 here

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

#valyrianscrolls #ned stark #sansa stark #getting on my soap box #there’s something here too about romanticism. like shelley and coleridge and whitman. the need to return to nature to undo society’s harm. #especially with the way various romance movements and romantic tropes are played with by their characters. #i can’t even remember who said it which just shows u how shitty an english major i am aksjd but about how. #like society is necessary but just as necessary is the ability to escape into nature. i *think* it was coleridge i’m probably wrong. #the gender war makes corpses of us all #gender politics in asoiaf #obviously you can point to several moments for both of them. sansa calling petyr father. ned’s relationship with theon. wherein they both #are clearly performing something for an audience. #there’s like 12 other branches of this in my head. jaime’s romanticism. being knighted bloody & the sacrilegious nature of the sept sex. #and his inability to escape his gender performance the way ned & sansa do. ned being willing to cry in front of others but robb only ever #crying in the dark with his baby brother after he loses ned. cat’s tower stuff & finding solace in sewing. #i’m gonna try to write up something about loras & renly here too. tomorrow. #also i wrote this at the train station after work so if there’s errors or it makes no sense just pretend u never saw it skskdj

[vinceaddams]

I saw the underside of a mouse as it walked across the air vent in my ceiling. I did not like it.

#I sent a complaint about the mice in the ceiling to the landlord 12 days ago but got no response #thankfully I still haven't seen Evidence in the kitchen but they're here! they will probably get in!! >:( #mice #uuuuurghhhhhh

[macksartblock]

Could you explain the Homestuck chart please?

Yes I can but it will be a long one so buckle in lol

So explaining the makeup of this chart for those who have never learned about the quadrants or maybe need a refresher.

First it’s important to note that A) the quadrants are from a violent alien society and are meant to reflect/balance that out B) the line between quadrants can often blur.

So if some things seem weird that’s probably why.

Red rom focus on positive emotions while black rom focuses on the negative. Along with that, concupiscent quadrants prioritize passion/attraction while conciliatory quadrants prioritize soothing/comforting.

Matespritship (♥️) is the closest to a typical human romantic relationship. This is the lovey dovey corner. The one that’s all about passion and dates and affection yada yada. It’s also the one I am least interested in bc it’s the most familiar.

Kismesitude (♠️) is the opposing romance to Matespritship. It focuses on feelings of hatred and attraction, but for it to be a true pitch relationship, there must also be respect. Think of it as an intense rivalry. A kismesis is someone who pushes your buttons. Someone who constantly challenges you forward. They are the person you trust to vent your aggression out towards.

It is incredibly important to know that neither member will ever want their partner to be grievously hurt or killed. They genuinely care for one another.

Moirailigance (♦️) is a frequently misinterpreted relationship. Many people see it as the BFF corner, but it is much deeper than that. Think more similar to a queer platonic relationship. Moirails are each others safeguard. They care deeply for each others physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

This is the person you go to when you’re having a horrible day. This is the person who will drop everything to take care of you when sick. This is the person who’d lay their life down for you if someone threatened you.

It’s also often moirails will show affection through physical means (ex: hugging, holding hands, cuddling, chaste kisses in some dynamics).

Auspisticism (♣️) is often the most neglected romance. Despite this it is incredibly important. This quadrant involves three members. Typically a feuding pair and a mediator - known as the auspistice. This third party is the person who provides advice when the couple are struggling in their dynamic.

They will deescalate feuds that may be going to far. They will step in to prevent serious injury. They will calm the pair down, provide them with new perspectives on whatever’s troubling them.

TLDR: hearts are for lovers — spades are for rivals that kiss — diamonds are for soulmates who aren’t quite lovers and they prefer it that way — clubs are mediators.

#I think the teens all being <> is just a fun way to look at their dumb marriage #but I personally enjoy Link & Taylor and Norm & Scary being primary duos #I hope this helps I’m notoriously known for going off about the quadrant system in my friend group so I tried to be fairly straightforward #can you tell who my favourite troll is (blaringly obvious edition) #all the lines are the chart are how I interpret the dynamics or previous ones (looking at Taylor’s brief one sided hatred for Scary) #but anyways 👍 #if I were ever to make another chart for a different Gen it would probably be the kiddads but just how I interpret the ships between them #also yeah it’s 12 am but yknow I’m already here

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one #i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking #and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped #i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format #anyways. #THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever.. #this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good. #it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen) #also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head #idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard. #whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope #im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT #ieytd #john juniper #reginald crane #junicrane #starstruck #i expect you to die #<- being BRAVE!!! #when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that #the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :( #but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah. #god im so messed up about these two #make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG..... #i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which - #- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL #GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall....... #FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga #thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry

[syncopatedid]

So what if I told you that Lu Guang has been living on "borrowed time" with Cheng Xiaoshi as far back as the very first episode in season 1?

Tl;dr thoughts and other sidetracks below the cut:

One: Xiaoshi lamenting to Lu Guang if "high-fiving" was the only way for them to maintain contact with each other when he dives.

If they had been at this gig for a long time, surely Xiaoshi would have already known this (or at the very least, have experimented other methods, maybe, if he suspected they could go about it another way?) That is not to say that the two of them hadn't been running a legit photo studio business prior to this (definitely feels longer), but the fact that Xiaoshi questions this did come across as being unusual to me, unless it was something "fairly recent" to him, and he was still slowly getting the hang of it. But a much stronger evidence would be:

Two: The rules set by Lu Guang as a condition of their partnership, specifically the second and third rule: to "change nothing", and "let the past and future be". Would Lu Guang have been so insistent on imposing such restrictions on Xiaoshi, had he not already experienced losing Xiaoshi once and wanted to rein Xiaoshi in from acting on his own? And why did Lu Guang feel the need to do so?

-------- Sidetrack thoughts #1: Was Xiaoshi even aware of his powers before Lu Guang came into the picture, or did it only manifest when Lu Guang entered his life? As evident in episodes involving the police, it suggests that in this universe, ability users are an abnormality and not public knowledge; they fall under urban lore and internet rumors, with whispers about a "photo studio run by a witch who can perform magic".

Did Xiaoshi accidentally jump into a photo one day and freak out, only for Lu Guang to assure him by outing his own abilities? (I can't see Lu Guang willingly volunteering that information to Xiaoshi unless something had forced his hand, esp given the above assumption it's not knowledge a layman should possess.) --------

I feel, the reason why Lu Guang holds Xiaoshi so vehemently to the rules would make sense if we consider that Lu Guang sees Xiaoshi as an "unpredictable node".

As far back as S1e3, we can tell that Lu Guang was able to "see" far ahead enough in the timeline that Xiaoshi had leaped into, to know if the future of that timeline had been altered or not. Example: little changes that Xiaoshi did (making a slam dunk) were inconsequential enough that Lu Guang could tell Xiaoshi it's fine, and the future remains relatively unaffected. But Xiaoshi changing a "key node" in that timeline (helping the losing team win), had drastically altered it to the point that Lu Guang tells Xiaoshi he doesn't know what's going to happen next. Why? Because the timeline had already branched out into a parallel universe, so to speak. And no longer holding on to the photo of the "right" universe - a new universe that Xiaoshi had inadvertently just created - meant Lu Guang no longer had the power of foresight.

Getting back to Lu Guang's real predicament, I suspect Lu Guang has been living in a timeline where he is unable to "see" Xiaoshi's future because he hasn't known a future where Xiaoshi has been alive for this long.

Just because Lu Guang is now in a timeline where Xiaoshi didn't die before 0913, it doesn't mean Xiaoshi is safe in the present universe - the same thing happened with Emma; while she didn't die in the hands of a kidnapper, she still died by falling off a building. And that's why Lu Guang has been rather protective of keeping Xiaoshi out of trouble, but I also speculate hard, that he doesn't want to further "destabilize" the current timeline and create more obvious time ripples that will draw attention to them, because... Lu Guang knows Xiaoshi should not have lived, and that they're being hunted.

Xiaoshi, the "abnormality" who is causing all the splits in time due to his unpredictable nature, would make the absolute antithesis to the new antagonist, who seeks to merge all the universes into one single unchanged ending. -------------------------- Sidetrack Thoughts #2: Since when was Lu Guang able to time travel on his own anyway?? My personal hunch: his time leap abilities were not his own, but from Cheng Xiaoshi of the parallel universe where he died. The scene before Lu Guang jumped back in time showed bloodstains on his shirt, suggesting that he had contact with Xiaoshi prior. This would mirror what we saw between Xixi and Qiao Ling, with Xixi's powers being transferred over to Qiao Ling through contact, and Qiao Ling briefly able to see all the memories of the people she had previously read.

If ^ proves to be true, what does that mean?

That Lu Guang is unable to time leap UNLESS Cheng Xiaoshi dies. He does not have the ability to do so on his own. This also means that for as long as Cheng Xiaoshi is alive, Lu Guang will not have the means to time leap on his own or dive back into the past. Which brings me to:

Sidetrack thoughts #3: This image makes me reallllllllly wonder if Lu Guang had already gone back in time to save Xiaoshi multiple times, which would make Lu Guang wanting to stabilize the current timeline even more valid and tragic. ---------------

Is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Frankly, such stories seem destined to head down the tragic/bittersweet end. Either: 1) Lu Guang dies so that Xiaoshi may live; 2) Xiaoshi dies anyway; (bonus 2.5: It's a combi of both; Guang tries to die to save Xiaoshi, but Xiaoshi pulls an "uno reverse" card on him and still dies as he was meant to, this time making Lu Guang promise not to try and save him again.) 3) Nobody dies, but they end up being apart. Lu Guang OR Xiaoshi discovers that in order for the both of them to survive, he would need to go further back in time to reset the past so that they never cross paths in the first place. This would mean one would likely forget the other entirely, and they would become nothing more than passing strangers. I kind of hope if it's headed for tragedy, that this option will be picked over the other two because I find death for melodrama too contrived a plot, but also FML. But what if... there is an option 4? A possibility for an actual good end where they can all be happy together and nobody dies? I'd like to think that if they could give others their happy end then surely they'd be able to find a way to happiness themselves! One such end-game could be them defeating the bad guy and branching out into a new universe yet again, but forever losing their abilities and stuck living in that timeline (where abilities do not exist) for the rest of their lives, no longer able to return to the time they had jumped from or knowing what their future will entail. But it's fine, they'll make it work because they have each other, 完结. cue ED and everybody claps, believing that perhaps they are now happily living in our universe.

And that's all the TL;DR for the day. Thanks for listening and enjoy your timeline!

#Link Click #shi guang dai li ren #时光代理人 #Cheng Xiaoshi #Lu Guang #*thinks too much about cartoon plots* #I hate that this show is so messy that it's hard to keep a linear thought #The mind keeps wanting to jump topics because there's just too many things to keep track of #I also do not have the strength to go rewatch the series I'm not sure I have enough patience to sit through all that filler #I like to keep a tidy ship and so my thoughts all go here #So many questions so little time! #*synco has re-entered the chat!* #I will probably reread this tomorrow to see if it makes sense but it is 12:35am

[flowercrowngods]

i need someone (steve) to take one look at mike wheeler after being told that this kid readily walked off the quarry at twelve years old, and see past his walls and his bullshit and see the kindness and bravery that lies beneath the trauma and depression (and puberty). i need someone to take one look at him and see that he’s not doing fine at all — and hasn’t for a while.

#i have this thing in my drafts where steve finds mike at the quarry after dustin told him mike essentially jumped down there #and all steve hears is ‘my friend was ready to die at 12 tears old’ #‘my friend was deeply depressed before trauma even got to take a hold of him’ #and steve thinking years ago ‘when i first liked a boy i came here too. thought about jumping’ #and mike just. looking at steve and suddenly falling apart because yes sure he did it for dustin but he also just. wanted to. #has been wanting to. and then will was gone and people always say bad things happen to boys who like boys and mike has been feeling guilty #back then yes but also ever since. it never stopped. just like his love for will didn’t stop. and asking steve if everything is his fault? #for liking will and then liking el only to fall for will again #and steve hugs him and tells him that he’s going to be okay and that the world ending isn’t mikes fault at all. #and that if he ever thinks about jumping again?? he needs to tell steve and they’ll find a way out. #idk it’s like. very heavy to think about but please i need. i need more steve and mike bonding #and this has probably been done before bc it’s been years but yeah. uh. #internalised homophobia internalised biphobia and impressionable kids who think all the wrongs of the world are their fault #yknow yknow the usual

[coldshrugs]

"My siblings? Please don't ask about them. That was a long time ago, but some wounds are not so easily healed."

Io before she was Io, and her siblings Viveka and Arvid.

#io laithe #ffxiv #azia gposes #this did hurt my lil heart #all of the laithe siblings had Vs in their names T^T #vivi was still exploring gender but using they/she pronouns #anyway they were all super close but io and vivi were attached at the hip most of the time #this was probably about a year before garlemald wiped out their village so io would be around 19 > arvid: 17 > vivi: 12 #ngl scaling a normal sized viera into a child is SO much easier than trying to mod a miqo kid LMAO #in lieu of more textured hair for arvid he can have fluff. hard out here for black buns lmao

[yantao-enthusiast]

damn girl sorry for being a byproduct of your shitty parenting, emotional negligence, and pessimistic viewpoint that’s on me fr

#@ my mom #just woke up from a 12 hour sleep #i’ve rested on it #time to make jokes about it!!!! #i try not to talk about these things too much here #but this is kinda funny and real so #mommy issues #mother issues #family issues #generational trauma #emotional neglect #tw mommy issues #there’s probably other tw but i can’t think of them rn so just tell me

[heyhellohihowareyou]

I really wish we got more Team Karasuma in canon.

And by “Team Karasuma” I mean Karasuma and his two boys, Isogai and Maehara.

Like I’m not asking for much. Just seeing them simply training together more would suffice.

And maybe getting some McDonald’s afterwards…

…

LOOK! Karasuma’s diet apparently consists of hamburgers and ramen and Maehara’s favorite food is hamburgers. Combine that with Isogai probably eating whatever he can when he gets the chance to and BOOM! Team Karasuma turns into Team “Let’s Go Get McDonald’s!”

#And I’m just here for Isogai getting the father figure he rightfully deserves #Maehara too probably #The kids a womanizer at the age of 13 #12 if you think about it hard enough #Something is clearly not right about any of that okay? #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #assclass #team karasuma #tadaomi karasuma #hiroto maehara #yuuma isogai

[jamiethebeeart]

Sketches

#shuichi iguchi #shigaraki tomura #spinaraki #these were 2 unrelated sletches but then my brain starting brewing some thoughts #mainly an au where spinner is sent in as a spy (for???? not the heroes lmao) to get into Shigaraki's confidence which of course means #wink wonk bedroom activities ANYWAY spinner catches feelings and doesnt really want to inform on Shigaraki anymore and is feeling conflicted #about what he should do and shigaraki knows something is up with his maybe boyfriend but not what and just :))) angst and split loyalties #amd feeling torn in two directions #(i sya not heroes but the only group with enough prescence is the mla but thats not really their m.o. either so???? idk what group would #have the reach/influence to feel threatened by some upstart kid in the villain world and manipulate a member into taking this espionage job) #anyways ive got so many au ideas and not enough time to write a fic or 12 lmao #like the research + planning + plot points + writing + editing + energy to pull it off.... im tempted to dabble in it all again tbh #im a year behind the manga tho and still havent watched the last season so idk where characters have ended up #and id rather not write anything until i catch up (idk maybe horikoshi has revealed some fun/character specific info?) #here i am talking on + on in the tags. anywho if anyone wants to write a fic based on any of my posts feel free bc i probably never will

[aldoodles]

A successful museum visit (the Rubik’s cube is for Lizzie)

#tuc #the underland chronicles fanart #the underland chronicles #gregor the overlander #luxa #Luxa found the cube and definitely asked a smart Alek ‘who is rubik and what is his cube doing here’ question. and gregor started #to explain before realizing she was messing w him. she did want to give it to Lizzie once he told her it was a puzzle tho #my art #al chatters #sketchy sketchy #doodles #fanart #digital #in my usual way I am drawing children w swords who r having fun instead of being traumatized like their books dictate #my love for tall and lanky 12 year olds is immense bc I too was a tall and lanky 12 year old #still not sure about how I wanna draw these two so it’ll probably evolve haha

[trans-ghostboi]

This is literally the most stupid idea I’ve ever had but ig if this post gets like idk 1k notes by April 15 then I’ll stop $hing and tell my therapist so that I can get help

#this is genuinely the most idiot decision I’ve ever made but atp any tiny scrap of motivation and/or care is helpful #it’s like 12:30 am so I’ll probably delete this in the morning but oh well #why is it embarrassing to post my issues on here literally no one actually knows me #$hblr #$h vent #vent post #tw vent #also I have no idea who’s gonna see this but don’t tell me shit about how $h is bad and oh why would you do that love yourself and all that #like I fucking know you’re not doing anything other than making me feel like shit

[arthur-r]

hello new self portrait just dropped which means this is officially what i look like now

#i have glasses now!!!! i’m not very good at drawing them but i sure have them on my face at all times shdhdf #and i recently started growing out my hair!!!! my distinctive bowl cut had a good run but i’m officially moving forward #i’ve also started exaggerating my big droopy sad eyelashes a LOT in pictures lately it’s part of my core identity now or something #(that’s not true shdhdf but i think my face knew about my puppydog destiny long ago and gave me puppydog eyes) #anyway i just haven’t drew anything in forever like i think i’ve drew four things that weren’t JUST notebook doodling. all this school year #(and one of those was vent art on paper and the other one was coloring with my little sister. so i’ve drew two things on ibispaint at all) #anyway i think my glasses suit me really good and i’m also really excited i can see the world really good now #i still have some vision problems from POTS that aren’t fixed but like. i can see detail in brick walls now and i’m obsessed #house fucker behavior i’m so sorry shdhdhdff (THIS IS A JOKE AND LIE. I DONT FUCK HOUSES) #(and i’m apparently a house m.d. kinnie so i wouldn’t fuck him EITHER cause we’re the same person i could never) #ANYWAYS i can see well finally and that’s good. and in conclusion i’m real tired and should go to bed #i took my meds at 9:30 then started drawing at 10 finished at 11:30 #and now it’s midnight and i’m long overdue to be asleep already. so goodnight world!!!! #i have a sleepover tomorrow night which is very exciting. and also work and homework as usual shdhdf #but in the meantime i get to sleep. for up to 12 hours!!!! here’s hoping #ok anyway!!!! goodnight!!!! #P.S. text or call if you need anything!! #me. my post. mine. #delete later (probably)

[shopcat]

z*tara is crazy i keep seeing tiktok comments about it like what the damn hell ... leave her alone. Leave her ALONE. if zuko even looks at her i'll kill him i'll KILL HIM. I'LL GET HIM. you people don't like katara at all... he doesn't deserve her. i'm delirious rn sorry. he's gay and she IS NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT on his level Like i'm sorry. as much as i love zuko. Oh it makes me mad... shipping an acorn and an oak tree. she should have slapped him more in the show. you're just wrong. It's just fucked up and wrong. anyway

#🐾 #i mean i get it and they did the whole ship tease thing #fundamentally if i didn't know zuko was a gayboy deep in my heart i would probably not care at all #and the whole thing with the ENDLESS war between them and her and aang is so funny like who the hell cares 😭 but i do understand .. #like from the perspective of u ship something cuz it's interesting i don't gaf about that bald 12 year old #well regardless zukka solos it's really funny still seeing all this fighting these days and we're just over here like okayyyy #top ship to ME ... TO ME !!! #well to be honest i think they honeslrt are at least w you know gay fans . who are a very large part of any FANDOM... vs fanbase #also i've said tbis before and in a real way other than why ppl like it i just Don't like it .. for those reasons #i mean it doesn't make sensseee TO ME... the entire point is zuko desperately needed friends #and to make those reparations. and making it romantic just makes it lame #like he didn't jump in front of lightning for his crush he did it for his friend. Do you have anything at all in ur heart #<- and then w that logic well idc about the enemies to friends ppl. but jumping straight to Thehre in love like oh. you're insane #and i'm insane too.

[iqmmir]

Hi im back . For some time

#.mimiming ❜ #um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much #umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to #second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl #y today and wednesday) i literally do not care #i almost keep crying . because well um #idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone #because of stuff thats happened before #but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so #also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact #but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students #and the horrible tasting canteen food #and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years #idk man #also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse #and i just ..idk i needed a break ig #anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job #me friend said maybe we can do something together #idk #you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍 #im not really sure . like about anything right now #ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe #wild how time passes huh #god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old

[whentherewerebicycles]

wow I love my little weights class!! everyone is so friendly and nice and they all joke around with each other the whole time. I still feel some worry about exercising hard in pregnancy (like is he ok in there???) but all the research/guidance seems to indicate it’s totally fine and only positive. I def would’ve been too nervous to go hard in the first trimester but now it does feel like he’s a little more firmly planted yknow.

#I think I’ve decided to just not worry about my weight #I’m up AGAIN today (+12 lbs in 14 weeks) but like literally what else could I do #I’m working out a bunch and eating healthy meals #I could probably cut out the flavored greek yogurt cups since they have added sugar #and I have been periodically giving myself little treats like a fancy coffeeshop drink or a cookie once a week #but like also I don’t want to live a life where I deny myself periodic little treats so #🤷‍♀️ #I keep telling myself it’s all my extra blood sloshing around in there lol #12 lbs of extra blood #weight mention #pregnancy tag #also I kinda bummed myself out thinking oh I’ll never be able #to do a workout class again once he’s here bc nobody #to take the baby #but then I was like wait daycare is open 6am to 6pm #so I could either drop off early and go in before work #or pick up a bit later and go on my way home from work #so that’ll be fine! the real challenge will be $$ lol