a pseudo companion piece to this fic that i did not write. was also gonna put this in the october 2023 adventure until i just checked and found out there was already a breakfast themed fic lol.
who knows, 202?
Oatmeal
Étienne steps into his kitchen and takes a moment to assess what it is he needs. Distantly, he hears the shower and grins to himself. He could have followed Edward in, but the man is, and always has been, a distraction and he knows that it’s best if he gets a start on breakfast instead of getting distracted by his boyfriend yet again. (Not that it would necessarily be a bad thing, but he is hungry.)
Therefore, he fills Mercury’s food and water bowl first and then pulls out various cups, ingredients, instruments and bowls and gets himself to work. He’ll take her out for a walk later, with Edward, since the man has a thing for dogs and quite honestly, Étienne likes going out for a walk with Edward. It might not be the sophisticated outing of a lifetime, but he likes simply spending time with Edward – always has, really, and that hasn’t changed over the years. Plus, he doesn’t get to see him as often as he’d like and so, he makes the most of the time they do have together.
He's distracted momentarily in his preparations when he feels a set of arms wrap around his middle and wet hair tickle the side of his neck. He leans into Edward’s embrace and doesn’t quite mind the scraggly kiss to his neck either. Edward’s always been a tad cuddlier early in the morning and Étienne has never minded that either.
“Smells good,” Edward murmurs from the warmth of his neck and Étienne doesn’t know if he means the food or his body, but he tries to stay on task and starts assembling ingredients, making sure to double and triple check them for freshness and no mould.
It’s a little harder to do with Edward still leaning heavily on him, but Étienne wouldn’t dislodge him for near anything in the world. He takes it as an extra challenge, not that cooking has ever been anything but, and somehow, nothing burns down for the moment.
Edward still seems content to use him as a makeshift pillow and so, it takes a while longer for him to realise what exactly it is that he’s been preparing. When he finally does disentangle himself somewhat, it is to peer over Étienne’s shoulder to finally acknowledge his hard labour.
“Oatmeal?” He says with a faint smile, “Someone was feeling nostalgic.”
Étienne’s answer is a shrug and a sprinkle of fruit over one of the two bowls.
“I’m surprised there aren’t any bagels.”
As if summoned by a higher force, the toaster makes two perfectly toasted bagels pop up at that precise moment and even Étienne laughs at the irony.
He’s made a spread for them – probably too much, if he’s being honest but he doesn’t care. Most of it will keep for a day or so and if not, well, so be it. Plus, he doesn’t mind doing this for Edward – doesn’t mind going the extra mile for him.
In fact, Edward is one of the few people he’ll make an effort for when it comes to cooking, or anything, really. He knows that even if it’s not perfect, his boyfriend will appreciate it and not judge him for his shortfalls. If anything, he doesn’t need to impress him – not that, retrospectively, he’s ever had.
However, with reflection, it is frustrating how once, he’d been able to prepare more complex meals with just a fire and some rudimentary tools and now that he has every conceivable technological marvel such as a stove, he’s made to feel as though he’s some old relic from an ancient time that has been left behind and now irrelevant to society. But, he’s always been a stubborn fool and so, he’s found his own ways to counter this by finding other tools to work with. It’s not perfect, but it’s good enough. He’s adapted. (And if anything, he can always use his good old hibachi.)
Edward helps him set the table, successfully getting him out of his own head, and they carry their feast to the kitchen table before they tuck in and eat.
He’d honestly never once thought that he’d find comfort in quiet mornings like these, but with time he’s come to appreciate them for what they can offer. He supposes it helps when it’s someone he cares for that’s sitting across from him and if his ears pink a little when Edward praises the oatmeal he’s made, there’s no one else there to witness it.
He knows that, if given a chance, he’ll do it all again tomorrow.
FIN
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roniebuttercups replied to your post “Who's paying?”
Wait will we still see Montreal in BOAB or not? I've to really enjoy his French moments...
not to sound like a commercial That all depends on Viewers Like You xD
or yknow me when i kick up whatever storylines that float around in my head.
the big cities do have very impactful starring roles in canadian history that reverberate across the country and montreal in particular had a formative influence on many cities historically (although that influence switched to Toronto around the 1970s), so this won't be the last of them. and who knows what kinds of things will happen in the near future? :)
in the meantime feel free to check out @randomoranges' Étienne Maisonneuve tag for numerous art and fics (many of them AUs) and her projocanondoko tag for things that involve her own canon for Et as a personification.
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not like there aren't 100 other ideas jostling for attention, but like, sometimes u just get a little spark of something in your head and you're like, omg, but yes i do need to type this out right now!!! sorry other fics. one day your time will come
Breakfast
October 10th 2023
Edward gets up before Étienne, surprisingly, and finds him still sprawled and asleep. He can’t help but smile softly at the sight and after indulging for a moment or so, he quietly gets out of bed and pads out of the bedroom. It’s not that he doesn’t want to stay nestled close under the covers with his boyfriend, but Edward had gotten it into his head that he wanted to make breakfast for Étienne. It’s his own way of showing affection and he genuinely likes cooking for others. Especially when the recipients of his food have hearty appetites and make appreciative noises while they eat.
Of course, with an insomniac boyfriend, it was hard to do so without said boyfriend thwarting his brilliant plan. Étienne had successfully dismissed all his previous attempts, arguing that Edward was his guest and that it was up to him to provide breakfast options. Edward had let him, hatching his plan in his mind and waiting for the right opportunity, which, it seems, has finally presented himself.
Therefore, he quietly makes it to Étienne’s kitchen and takes a good look around to assess the best course of action.
It’s at that moment that his eyes land, not for the first time, on Étienne’s old stove. It still works, either from lack of use or a better built product, but what still catches his eyes is the slightly faded star stickers placed near some of the dials. He’d noticed them back in February of 2020 and every subsequent time he’d visited since and without fault, he’d been surprised to see them still there, covered up in transparent tape, a memento to the past stirring strange little feelings in him.
Edward walks over to the stove and brushes his fingers over the tape, a soft grin coming to his face. He remembers that day well. Remembers being convinced he could teach Étienne to bake a simple cake and the disaster of the attempt. Most of all, however, he remembers the easy laughter and the bright smile on Étienne’s face. He remembers the smudge of flour across Étienne’s cheek and the fleck of coconut wedged in one of Étienne’s curls. He remembers the sugar sweet taste of Étienne’s kisses and the warm feeling of love that had coursed through his body.
He doesn’t hear Étienne approach until two arms wrap around his midriff and his boyfriend presses in close, still sleep warm and cuddlier than usual. Edward feels the hint of a scraggly kiss dropped to the crook of his neck and he leans back into the warmth.
“There you are.” Étienne’s voice is thick with sleep, the sound of his h not fully awake. Edward likes him like this; soft and snuggly, sleep warm; the worries he seems to constantly carry along with him still on the back burner of his mind.
“Here I am,” He murmurs back, placing his hands on the top of Étienne’s, holding him in place for a moment longer. He feels the barest of hints of Étienne’s stubble tickle the soft skin of his neck and the cascade of Étienne’s hair brush his upper arm, but he doesn’t say anything and cherishes the different textures and feelings against his skin, a rare treat to indulge in.
“You weren’t in bed.” It’s not really a statement, nor is it a question, but an observation that Étienne makes and Edward makes a sound of agreement, while they remain entangled together, Étienne seeking out more warmth from him.
“Thought I’d make us a nice breakfast, until I remembered that despite what you want others to think, you are a big old sentimental person.” He traces back the taped-up stars with a finger and smiles again. Of all the people Étienne had ever decided to trust with his vulnerabilities, he’d chosen him and that was, and still is, very special to Edward.
“Juste pour toi.” Étienne murmurs. There’s a second kiss placed to his neck and Edward does his best not to swoon or melt into a puddle. He should be used to this by now, but it still manages to take him by surprise time and again. It’s not a bad thing, far from it, and secretly, he’s very fond of it as well.
“What are you going to do when your stove gives out and you need to replace it?” He recovers and asks instead. Étienne is quiet for a second and Edward wonders if his boyfriend hasn’t fallen back asleep against him.
“Ask you to come and put new ones.”
Edward chuckles. Somehow, he knows that Étienne would. He takes one of Étienne’s hands and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss of his own. The thing is, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
FIN
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betchu y'all thought they were totes gonna tell éts fam at xmas, huh? well, guess again :)
Text Me Merry Christmas
November 2023
“Hey, d’you have a minute for a call? Can we talk about Xmas?” The text message reads.
It’s not that Étienne’s heart stills, but it does a funny leap in his chest. He fears the worst for a moment and that Edward is going to tell him that he can’t make it, or that he really does not want to spend the holidays with him and his family and would much rather spend it cocooning with Calvin, and that really, what a waste of time it would be to fly back to Montréal to see him – or something.
“Sure, I’m not doing much.” He writes back, even though he had been just about to start his laundry. It could wait, clearly.
Étienne settles himself on his living room couch and waits for the call that comes a moment later.
“What’s up?” He asks, trying to sound very casual and the likes without hinting at the way his mind is spinning in nineteen different directions.
“So, I know we’d flirted with the idea of telling your family that we’re together when I was last in town, but,” And here Edward falters for a moment, as if losing his momentum, “Do we have to?”
Étienne wants to respond, however before he can, Edward continues, rambling as he is, clearly nervous and wanting to get his piece off his chest. “It’s just – I have reservations about letting them know. I know they’d be okay with it, and I don’t want you to resent me for not wanting to let them know – and maybe, really, it’s leftover internalised homophobia – or fear – or who knows! But I don’t think I’m ready to tell others…”
“You know –” Étienne tries to say, not before Edward cuts him off again.
“And, I don’t want you to think that I’m ashamed of you or of others knowing that we’re together. That’s as far from the truth as possible! But I also don’t want to find out twenty years from now that you really wanted to tell your family and that this ends up causing another rift in our relationship either. It’s just – I’m a private guy. I don’t feel, or think others need to know, and I’d hate for you to hate me for it, but I also didn’t want to spend the next twenty years resenting me either and we said we would do our best to be honest with each other.”
If Étienne tries real hard, he can almost picture Edward pacing the room that he’s in, gripping his phone with one hand and gesticulating with the other. He thinks it’s endearing and he waits a moment, in case Edward has more to say, but when his boyfriend remains quiet, he takes the chance to reassure him. “For starters, thank you for telling me all of that. I would have hated to pressure you into telling them if you don’t feel like it.”
Edward tries to interject, but Étienne goes on, “That being said; it’s fine. We don’t have to tell them. We don’t owe them shit. I won’t resent you for it and I know you’re not ashamed of me.” He shrugs, even though Edward can’t see him and picks at a piece of lint on his couch.
“Are you sure though? You were the one who brought it up…”
Étienne laughs. “Listen, I only ever wanted to tell them for very selfish reasons; notably being able to like, sit close to you or some such and not having it turn into a thing. But, I can totally do that before and after we go to Jacques’, so it’s fine. Plus, they don’t need to know. If my family was this concerned or interested in my life, they would check-in more often instead of just treating me like some diseased alien. So, don’t worry about it; I promise it’s fine.” He reiterates.
Anyways, it isn’t as if he’s close with his family, other than Élyse. They have never really shown that they care about him beyond platitudes and thus, he’s always kept his private life from them. He doesn’t need to share anything with them if they’ll just use it against him later. He’s lived his life this way for decades now, there’s no real point in changing on a whim. This can remain between him and Edward and he’ll be perfectly content.
“It’s not that I don’t believe you, but aren’t you the one who’s always going on about living your authentic self and such? Wouldn’t this be the complete opposite?”
Edward has a point. He has brought it up a multitude of times over their prolonged friendship and Étienne did in fact try and live up to those standards. He never – shies away from being himself and doesn’t let other people’s opinions get to him. Or, so he tells himself, even though, there are times when it is easier said than done.
He’s also pestered Edward about it, way back when Edward had still been in the closet. Étienne wonders if his boyfriend isn’t referring to that in particular.
“Alright, how about, if ever I get to a point where it bothers me, I will let you know, and we can revisit? Let’s actually be adults about this and talk about it, if we ever want to change things instead of keeping our thoughts to ourselves.”
Edward chuckles and Étienne’s pretty sure they won’t come to another misunderstanding over this in twenty odd years.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good compromise, but I’ll hold you to it, Maisonneuve. If anything, I know how complicated dealing with family can be, so thanks for being understanding.”
“Don’t mention it, really. For selfish reasons, I just want to spend as much time as I can with you. The rest, or how, doesn’t matter.” He pauses, an idea forming in the back of his head, “Or, we can always just fuck off to Mexico for the holidays instead.”
They both laugh at the thought.
“Don’t tempt me, Bouclé, or I’ll take you up on the offer.”
Étienne grins, “Maybe that was my plan after all.”
“You would concoct such a crazy scheme. Well, I guess I’ll see you soon then.”
Étienne’s grin turns into a soft smile at the thought of seeing Edward again in a few short weeks. It will be nice to spend the holidays with him and the rest really doesn’t matter. Maybe, one day, he’ll feel the need to tell the rest of his family, but right now, he’s okay with keeping his secret to himself for a little longer. His family doesn’t get to share in this wonderful thing just yet.
“Can’t wait.” He says, before they both hang up with promises of talking again soon.
Fin
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October Long pt 3
October 7th 2023
“Did you really mean it?” Étienne asks as they exit the metro and start the walk back towards his place. The rain had stopped and despite the wind, the fresh air is good and it gives Étienne a chance to walk Mercury before they get back home. “Earlier,” He clarifies after a moment, “When you told Suzette you’d think about coming over for the holidays…”
Edward can tell that Étienne is trying to be nonchalant about it and he thinks it’s endearing. He bumps their arms and twines their fingers together when he feels Étienne’s hand brush up against his.
“Yeah. I mean, it would be nice to come back again… Although, I was surprised, but your family didn’t seem to be aware that we’re dating?” He poses it as a question and Étienne is quiet as they cross the street. Élyse knows, obviously, but she’s different.
“I never told them.” Étienne finally tells him and Edward is a little bit surprised by this news.
“Still?”
Étienne shrugs. Then again, Étienne has never been the one to share personal details about his life with others, but he would have thought that after over fours years, the news would have been spread. “We never talked about it and I felt wrong telling them without making sure you were okay with others knowing. I’m not ashamed of them knowing or of dating you, but I didn’t think they needed to know and it never came up…”
Edward lets the news sink in. He’s somewhat touched and he supposes that it makes sense. He’s also always been on the quiet side of things and he’s thankful for Étienne’s consideration.
“Oh – yeah, that makes sense. Well, assuming I show up for Christmas, what do we tell them, or not tell them?”
“I mean,” Étienne lets out a puff of air and let’s go of Edward’s hand to pass it through his hair, before burying it deep in his sweater’s pocket. “I wouldn’t mind telling them, but if you don’t that’s fine too. We used to sleep in separate rooms more often than not before, so that wouldn’t be new either.”
Edward thinks about it for a moment. Deep down, he wouldn’t mind either. He knows that Étienne’s family is accepting and it wouldn’t change much to any of their lives. However, it would also mean explaining the fact that he’s also in a relationship with Calvin, especially if Calvin comes along, and he’s not sure if that would be too much for them. Still, he knows it would make Étienne happy if they told them and he supposes that, at the very least, would be a start.
“Yeah, I guess we can tell them and I will really think about coming, promise, but I also need to check with Cal and see if we already had some form of embryonic plans or some such.”
Étienne nods and doesn’t say anything about how it seems that Edward keeps telling him that he’ll really think about visiting but then doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ruin the good evening and despite whatever thoughts he has lingering in his mind, he knows that Edward really means it, even if it doesn’t always work out.
“Calvin can obviously come,” He says instead because it’s the right thing to say and because he wants to reassure Edward at the same time. Plus, if it means it’ll get Edward to visit, he’s ready to use whatever trick he can.
“Ha, I knew you’d say that,” Edward tells him linking their arms together. He can’t really tell, but he’s convinced Étienne’s cheeks have pinked somewhat.
“Plus, if Cal comes my brother will be actually genuinely thrilled to see him, even though both of them combined together might make them insufferable, but if it means Samuel will be off my back for an evening, then so be it. I’ll endure whatever other stupidities they come up with.” He pauses for a moment and then cringes, “God though, can you imagine both of them together? I’ll have to remember to bring the good booze.”
Edward laughs. Personally, he has theories as to why Samuel and Calvin get along, but he’ll share them with Étienne later. “Where was your brother anyways?” He asks instead.
This time, when Étienne laughs, it’s without humour. “As if my brother would have graced this godforsaken city with his presence. He probably stayed home with Fred.”
If Edward wouldn’t have known better, he would have guessed that Étienne was bitter. “I thought you got along and liked Frédéric?” Of all the times Étienne has mentioned his brother’s boyfriend, it has always sounded quite positive. Then again, something could have happened since.
“Oh, we do,” Étienne quickly reassures him, “And he’s a saint for putting up with that asshole, but there’s just so much one can do to fix my brother’s shitty personality.” Étienne shrugs and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket. He struggles with the lighter for a moment, having to disentangle their joint arms, but once he gets the lighter going and the cigarette is safely in his mouth, he links their arms back.
Edward observes him for a moment and watches the smoke curl around Étienne’s face. He’s struck once more by how right he was about the family dynamics between Étienne and the others and he wonders if they’ll ever come to some understanding.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I hope I’ll be able to properly meet him under the context of Christmas.”
The comment seems to put a smile back on Étienne’s face and they finish the walk back to the apartment in relatively good cheer.
FIN
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it’s a good thing i started this silly little birthday fic 1.5 weeks ago. this turned into a Thing TM. i had to wait on some events to unfold and then, when i queued this up last night, the weather decided to throw a curve ball at me this morning lol. anyways, oblig bday fic bcs im the coolest person around.
Birthday Call
May 17th 2023
Étienne finishes the last of his birthday cupcake when his phone starts buzzing. Figuring it must be some other birthday message, he picks it up without really paying attention to the name on the screen, until he realises that it’s a video call from none other than Edward.
Delighted, he sits a little straighter and makes sure there’s no icing on his face before he accepts the call.
“Well, hello there, handsome; this is a surprise.” He greets with a warm smile as his boyfriend appears on the screen. He takes a moment to quietly mourn the loss of the playoff beard and instead takes in Edward’s clean-cut face. The beard had been majestic. It’s a shame it couldn’t have lasted longer. (Edward wears his beard really well, what can he say. He’s aware that he has a thing, but Edward looks good with facial hair. He should consider growing it outside of playoffs, really. It would be to everyone’s advantage. His, for starters. Even if he’s far and can’t get the full tactile benefits of feeling it drag against his skin. At least he would be able to admire it when they have their little video chats.)
Anyways. He’s digressing. It is a surprise, really. He always looks forward to calls from Edward, even if he’d rather have him here with him. Plus, with recent events happening in Alberta, Edward’s been pulled in different directions as of late and Étienne knows, even if Edward’s never said it outright, that it’s all been taking a toll on him. Hell, if anything else, Étienne has seen it on his face when they have such video calls. (He sees it now too, but he pushes the worry away for now.) (He’s seen the manic edge to his gaze and the unhinged spark in his eyes. He knows the look – has been familiar with it in his own reflection for too long.)
“I wasn’t going to forget your birthday, who do you take me for?” Edward gives him a contrite look, daring Étienne to accuse him of such a fault, but Étienne doesn’t fall for the bait, and instead he hums, content, and twirls a strand of his hair around his finger. He knows Edward wasn’t going to forget (Edward’s never forgotten), but he also would have understood if his boyfriend wouldn’t have had the time – or mental energy to call, what with the current situation in Alberta, the end of the playoffs, and the looming election.
Still, he’s pleased as punch that Edward has managed to find the time to call and that he just so happens to be around for it.
“I take you for my wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend who even sent me a parcel for my birthday.” He smiles again and it seems to do the trick.
“Damn right I am.” Edward scoffs, crossing his arms, before his expression softens a little, “I’m glad you got it on time. I was worried it wouldn’t make it – or that it’d be late.”
“It would have just made the festivities last longer, but I got it this morning; it was a very good start to my day.” Étienne had been surprised by the gift, honestly not expecting anything, but once he’d seen who the parcel was from, he’d eagerly torn through the wrapping to find out what Edward could have possibly sent him, leaving the birthday letter for last. (He’d always been ever so fond of the letters Edward sent him. Those in themselves were gift enough.)
“Good, I’m glad.” Edward even seems pleased with himself and as silly as it sounds, it makes Étienne happy. Edward should always feel pleased with himself, regardless of what endeavour he’s taken on. It’s a good look on him anyways. (Étienne might be a little biased. He doesn’t care. He has impeccable taste.)
A little sigh escapes Edward’s lips after a beat and Étienne notices again how tired he looks. The deep, dark circles under his eyes – the worry lines that aren’t usually there. The pinched set of his brow. The way his shoulders sag ever so, as if the weight of every situation currently happening in his province has been put on him and he can no longer handle it. (And maybe it has. After all, Edmonton is the capital, and he knows that it comes with an extra set of responsibilities he’s ever so thankful he’s escaped.) The light in his eyes seems dimmer as well and Étienne worries from afar, wishing he could magic away all of Edward’s problems.
“How are you holding up?” He asks softly, unable to stop himself. He knows Edward can outright lie to him and that he can water down the truth, but Étienne needs to check in. Assess for himself. Étienne may not be going through the same things as him, but he’s been in similar shoes, and he can be sympathetic if nothing else. He knows what it’s like when the emotions of the people overwhelm and take over your own. Knows what it’s like to feel the euphoria of victory one moment and deep anger and emptiness at a loss the next. It unites and it divides.
He’s lived through his fair share of political unrest, from bitter resentment to the want for change. He’s been there. Tumbled through the whirlwind only to be spat out on the other side, never sure the waters have ever calmed down, trying to regain unsteady footing and stumbling along the way. Therefore, he has a small inkling as to what Edward might be feeling, to some degree, even if the situations aren’t all the same. (At least, if anything, he knows for a fact that Edward is not alone – that Calvin is keeping an eye on him as well and that, if push comes to shove, he can reach out to Calvin if he’s really that worried. That too, he supposes, must be some odd advantage.) (And yes, he knows Calvin is also going through his own ordeal.)
Edward shrugs and passes a hand through his hair and then scrubs it over his clean-shaven face. “You know, same shit, different day. But enough of this depressing talk. I called because it’s your birthday. Distract me, please.”
Étienne chuckles – that he can do. He’s been distracting Edward from his problems for over forty years now and he’s not about to stop anytime soon. In fact, he’s quite good at it, if he dares say so himself.
“Well, if it’s a distraction you want, I’ll have you know that I can be very distracting,” He leans on his palm, propped up by his arm, and puts on his best flirtatious air, before he winks at Edward and then waggles his eyebrows in an exaggerated way. A laugh bubbles out of Edward’s chest and escapes through his mouth, and Étienne grins, pleased that he’s managed to make him laugh for a moment.
“How has your birthday been so far?” His boyfriend prompts, once he recovers from his fit of laughter.
“Not too bad, I must say. A bit on the cold side. Can you believe, it actually snowed?! It didn’t last, but it snowed on my birthday. The travesty of it all.” It had snowed for about five and a half minutes, if that much, but he had been insulted, nonetheless.
Edward laughs at his antics and Étienne is glad that his melodramatics make Edward laugh. It had been his goal, after all.
“Poor baby,” Edward coos, “Too bad I’m not there to keep you warm.” Edward teases, much to Étienne’s delight.
“Such a shame, really. The only thing missing from this birthday so far was waking up next to you, but who knows, maybe some other year.” Étienne knows the universe would need to align in many different ways for it to happen, but he wants to be confident that it could happen in some foreseeable future.
“Anyways, El and I went out for brunch this morning, had birthday cupcakes, got a really nice gift from my boyfriend and Emma’s on her way as we speak. The three of us are going out to dinner and Emma’s staying for the long weekend, so that’ll be cool. Friday, me, Emma and El and some of our friends are going out to some club my sister’s been going on about and that’s about it.” He lists the plans off his finger for a moment to make sure he hasn’t missed anything and then nods to himself. “Yup that’s it.”
“Hang on,” Edward interjects, “Your sister?” He repeats to make sure he’s understood correctly, “Your sister likes clubs? How am I finding out about this now? When the hell did this happen?”
Étienne laughs, “You think I’m the wild child? You’ve clearly never seen my sister hit the clubs then. She has moves like no other and can really let loose.” He watches, amused, as Edward blinks slowly, trying to process the information.
“I’m not sure what to do with this news and I cannot unsee this now. You’re pulling my leg.”
It’s a gift Élyse has, he supposes. Everyone expects it from him. After all, Élyse takes her city job seriously. Élyse is level-headed. Élyse is the good twin. But what people tend to forget is that Élyse also likes the thrum of a thick crowd and the pulse of a beating city. She needs their high as much as he does and lives for a good time. “What can I say; we both love to get lost in a crowd and be surrounded by people. Next time you’re in town, we’ll go out with her.” He laughs at the utter confusion written on Edward’s face and thinks about getting a screenshot of it.
“I’ve been visiting you for over forty years and I never would have assumed that about your sister; wow.” Edward looks as if he’s re-evaluating everything he knows about Élyse. Étienne makes himself a mental note to relay the information to his sister later on. He knows for a fact that she’ll get a kick out of it and that she’ll never let Edward live it down. Ever.
However, he gets it, really. Élyse will give him center floor in a group, but if left to her own devices, she can schmooze as well as he can. Together, they are an unbeatable force, and they can work a crowd to their advantage in a heartbeat. It’s just a shame that no one’s ever really given his sister the chance to do so and that he’s stepped out permanently from his city job.
“In your defence, you only saw her at my place; but I’m pretty sure she can drink us both under the table, keep her head about it, and outlast us on a dance floor. There may have also been the lack of overlap with the types of clubs we were visiting back then. Not sure El would have appreciated crowds of gyrating men.” He grins to himself, making far away plans for a next time when Edward will be in town and inviting his sister to go out with them. He’s not sure either of them would accept, but he can still dream. If anything, he no longer has to keep Edward’s big secret and there are actual places where the three of them could have a good time, now that he and Edward are doing loads better.
“I will never be able to look at your sister the same way ever again.” There may be a hint of awe and fear in Edward’s voice and Étienne chuckles, amused, knowing that Élyse would approve of the second part.
They chat for a while longer, until Étienne receives a message from Emma telling him that she’s nearly there. They exchange goodbyes, Edward wishing him a happy birthday one more time.
“Y’know, when everything settles, if you need to get away from it all for a bit, my door’s always open…” He starts and he kind of hates how hesitant he almost sounds, as if afraid Edward would scoff at the idea, as he worries his bottom lip. “I’m aware you’ll have your work cut out for you and you’ll be busy, but – whenever you want to, you know where to find me.” He adds, quick to recover. “And, obviously, I’m only a phone call away, if you need to vent or just need a distraction. Even if it’s ass o’clock in the night. There’s gotta be some advantage to my insomnia.” He gives Edward a tentative smile and is relieved when his boyfriend returns it.
A myriad of different platitudes run through his head from “don’t worry, you’ll get through this” and “You’ve been through worse – this won’t be what does you in” and even “Please be safe. I hope you and yours stay safe” as he tries to think of some encouraging thing to say, but they all sound flat and lame to his ears. This has never really been their thing. They don’t really offer each other these empty sounding words of comfort, even if in their essence, they all mean the same thing; I’m worried. I want you safe. I need you safe. (I need to know that you’ll be okay. That you’re okay. The idea of something bad happening to you sets my own teeth on fire. I can’t sleep at night because I worry. I pray to a God I no longer really look up to for your safety. Please, please, please be okay.)
“I know and I appreciate it, really. Who knows, I might just take you up on your offer.” Edward tells him with a reassuring smile. In a perfect world, he’d snap his fingers and all of Edward’s problems would vanish. They would be able to start planning Edward’s visit right away, but the confirmation that Edward would like to visit him soon, weather permitting, is enough for now.
“Looking forward to it, whenever that may be.” This is the point where he should hang up, but he doesn’t really want to. Not yet anyways. He wants to say something else, and there are a thousand different thoughts running through his mind, but none of them feels substantial enough to convey everything he still fails to say.
“I love you,” He settles for instead, because he does and because he’s allowed to tell Edward how he feels about him and, he really wants Edward to know and hear it. Especially now. It might not fix anything at all, but it might make him smile and feel a positive emotion for the briefest of moments. Plus, it feels like the only thing he can say to end the conversation, and maybe, just maybe, Edward will understand everything else that it means.
He’ll never know for sure if Edward gets all of it, but his boyfriend smiles softly at him and maybe, in his own way, Edward tries to reassure him as well. “Me too,” He says and then adds, “I’ll talk to you soon, yeah? Now, off with you; you have to get ready for your birthday celebrations so that you can tell me all about your wild and crazy adventures. Make me live vicariously through you.”
Étienne nods and chuckles, promising him that he will and with one final goodbye and one last happy birthday, he ends the call.
FIN
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it was a double rainbow as well
Rainbow
October 8th 2023
Étienne would have been quite happy going for a much smaller walk, given the weather and the rain and the cold. He would have been content making an exception and going as far as parc LaFontaine. Given the weather and the rain and the could, he would have gone around the block and back. However, Edward had asked if they could go up the mountain, since he hadn’t been in ages and Étienne realised, once more, that he was unable to say no to his boyfriend. Especially when he gave him that pleading little pout.
Grumbling, but only slightly, he’d relented, much as the rain had. Therefore, they dressed for the weather, brought umbrellas and Étienne leashed up Mercury, before they headed up towards Mont Royal.
At least, the sun accompanied them for a moment and that was nice. That and the fact that he was out walking his dog with his boyfriend whom he never saw enough and who had surprised him with a visit.
It could have been a lot worse, as far as Sundays went.
Étienne let Edward walk Mercury and he busied his arms by linking one with Edward. It was lovely to be able to do this and it had been wonderful and great even, until the winds picked up again and it started raining.
Étienne groaned.
Edward laughed.
“You know, had you decided to visit two days earlier, it would have been a lovely summer day and it would have been near close to thirty degrees instead of this cold, damp, wet misery.”
“I’m not sure which scenario sounds worse, to be quite honest.”
Étienne laughed at Edward’s expression and huddled closer to him under the umbrella he finally managed to open. “I think I’m blaming you for the weather; you brought the cold to the city.”
Edward’s answer was to snake an arm around Étienne’s waist instead and Étienne found that maybe he didn’t mind the cold so much anymore.
“Look at it this way,” Edward started as if on the same wavelength as him, “It means you can cuddle me and I won’t overheat.”
As far as compromises went, it wasn’t a bad one. Étienne asked if he still wanted to keep walking and seeing as Edward did, they kept heading towards the mountain.
The walk up wasn’t so bad, despite the rain. It was nice to have this time with Edward and to be able to converse as they once had, years and years ago. It flowed freely and unguarded and Étienne preferred it to the stilted abortive conversations they’d had towards the end of their first go at it and the awkward beginnings of their tentative friendship. This, was much better. The proximity to Edward, was much better. Being able to exchange freely with him from one topic to the next, was the best. One moment laughing about something absurd, the next complaining about the state of affairs back home and then going on about some trivial little thing – the absolute joy of it all.
By the time they reached the Kondiaronk lookout, the rain had stopped and the sun was trying to make a reappearance. Étienne put the umbrella away and led Edward to the railing to take in the view of the city. It wasn’t super crowded, just a few other brave souls here and there and so it was easy to squeeze in and find a good spot. At first, they just leaned close to one another, taking in the sights before them and Étienne let his mind relax around the complicated feelings he often got when he was up here.
It wasn’t the same as the Old Port, but it still felt as if different memories from different lifetimes jostled around inside his skull vying for his attention. Instead, he focused on Edward, who was real and solid beside him and leaned into his side, happy to have him here.
“If nothing else, the view never ceases to amaze me,” He said, mostly to himself, his eyes tracing the outlines of one building and the next, the splashes of oranges and yellows and reds mingling with the last of the green.
“Yeah, I almost forgot how nice it is.” Edward answered, his gaze fixed on Étienne rather than the sprawling city below, not that Étienne noticed, busy as he was looking ahead of him.
They stood shoulder to shoulder for a moment, until Étienne retrieved his phone to take a photo or two and then cajoled Edward for a selfie.
It was just as they pulled away from the photo that they heard a collective murmur run through the people on the lookout.
“Look, a rainbow,” Edward pointed and sure enough, there it was, majestic and full, appearing before their eyes. “We should take another selfie,” He remarked and the significance wasn’t lost on Étienne who laughed and was more than happy to oblige.
“Happy Queersgiving,” Étienne said, peering at the photo, making Edward laugh as well.
FIN
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pseudo ish companion piece to an art i did yesterday inspired by the tags @allbeendonebefore left because that is how i roll at times. it's a bit different, but i like how it turned out?
Crop Top
October 2023
“God,” Edward’s voice is whisper light as his fingers trail up and up on exposed skin that has taunted him for a lifetime it seems. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” He murmurs in the crook of Étienne’s ear. He feels Étienne shiver against him even if he tries to step back from his touch, skittish but trapped against Edward and the wall he’s backed into.
“Had I known…” Étienne offers with a soft murmur of his own, silky smooth to the point where Edward has to remind himself that he is technically supposed to have the upper hand here and be in charge.
“What would you have done had you known?”
Étienne looks into his eyes and manages a grin that makes Edward want to wipe it off his face – preferably with his mouth, or maybe even his hands, but instead he waits and leaves his fingers on Étienne’s warm skin, reminding him still that he’s one breath away from being merciless.
“Would have dug out these old tops ages ago. Would have worn them around for you as well…”
Edward bites back a groan and instead buries his face in Étienne’s neck, the warmth of soft skin sending a small current through his body.
“You should have.” He says instead and thinks back to all those times he’d kept his hands as still as possible by his side, those years and years ago, afraid to touch and feel and explore and caress when Étienne had flaunted stretches of skin that may have been behind a glass wall with a sign telling him to keep as far back as possible. He knows and realises that it had been of his own doing, but still – he had never known for sure how much was too much and what would be okay in their strange little song and dance of an arrangement.
“Then, it’s an even better thing that I found these; don’t you think?”
Edward takes a small step back to admire the sight before him of Étienne splayed out in the high cut crop top. He basks in Étienne’s sure inviting smile and still lets his hands dance precariously close to Étienne’s skin, his fingers going off on their own accord, tracing the patterns and lines that Étienne has permanently etched into his skin. He thinks of the other changes as well; to Étienne’s fuller figure and the fact that it means that Étienne is in a good place now. He likes that as much as he likes the way goosebumps appear on Étienne’s stomach when he rucks up the shirt just a little bit higher.
He wants, and craves, for more but still holds back for some absurd little reason he can’t quite settle on, as if now that he has the thing he’s always wanted, he’s unsure how to proceed, despite the voice in the back of his mind telling him that he’d like nothing more but to put his tongue to Étienne’s skin and taste the very expanse of exposed skin that has titillated him for so very long. Teasing back as he has been teased.
Instead, his fingers keep dancing, feather light, and he feels Étienne shiver and squirm and hears him gasp and – giggle?
He pauses in his movements and focuses on Étienne’s face; the pinks of his cheeks and the green of his eyes. It would be so very easy to get distracted by how lovely he looks, but what gets him really is the little edge of skittishness on his face and that’s when he remembers something buried deep in the back of his mind.
Étienne is quite very ticklish.
His own grin goes from amused to most likely predatory and he can tell Étienne has noticed the change by the way his eyes widen just so. It’s a gorgeous look on him, really and it’s finally what makes Edward put his hands properly on all that wonderful warm and exposed skin, letting the blunt of his nails rack up Étienne’s sides.
Étienne shrieks and only half-heartedly tries to squirm away, but he’s still very much trapped between Edward’s body and the wall.
It’s music to his ears, to hear Étienne laugh and laugh against his body. It’s maybe in the top three of his favourite sounds that can come out of Étienne’s mouth, nestled close between Étienne’s moans when he pleasures him and the way Étienne says Édouard all deep and wrecked and sensual like when they’re together.
“Pl-please, mercy!” Étienne begs, tears of laughter gathered at the corner of his pretty green eyes.
Edward lets his hands pause for a moment and lets Étienne catch his breath. He looks at the tableau before him and thinks he can do even better – that Étienne can look even more lovely and flushed and debauched. He decides then and there to be clement and grant the mercy Étienne oh so desires in the only appropriate way he can think of and that’s to finally pull off the teasing bit of fabric that had been covering up the upper part of Étienne’s chest.
Étienne lets him and continues playing along with Edward’s little game. They’re both well versed in its rules and Étienne still remains a very enthusiastic participant.
Satisfied with the change, Edward then proceeds with the next step of his master plan and lavishes Étienne’s body with a different kind of attention, allowing him all the things he had held back on for so very long.
FIN
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i've had this silly little idea for a few weeks now.
this should be a multi part thing, but we all know of my legendary capacity to complete things, lamao. they are all standalone tho
October Long pt 1
October 7th, 2023
Étienne is busy setting the table, when the doorbell rings. Élyse asks him to get the door, since she has her hands full with soup ingredients and so, Étienne walks on over, Mercury already barking at the door. He pushes her aside and opens, figuring it might be Élyse’s friend who’s arrived early, or maybe their brother with Suzette, but instead, he blinks in surprise at the guest on the other side.
“Hey there, stranger,” Edward greets with a sheepish smile, holding on to what clearly seems to be a small carry-on suitcase.
Étienne blinks and blinks again, while Mercury tries to wiggle past.
“El,” He calls out without looking away from the sight before him, “Did I accidentally take drugs earlier?” He asks very calmly.
“No,” She responds from the depth of her kitchen.
He pauses and blinks again. “Kay. I think I’m hallucinating.” He ads very conversationally. It is, after all, the only explanation there can be. Edward is right in front of him. Well, a vision of Edward is right in front of him. He would know if Edward was supposed to be right in front of him.
“Surprise?” Edward offers and – and Étienne wants to believe that this is not a mass hallucination because he has not seen Edward in nearly ten months and he has missed him more than he cares to admit, even if he has said so nearly every time he’s spoken to his boyfriend.
He takes a tentative step out and Mercury bolts for Edward. He tries to call her back, but she’s gone and the Edward-Hallucination has crouched down to welcome her excited attempt at a greeting.
So, not a hallucination.
Edward is here.
Actually physically here.
His feet bring him over to where Edward is standing and for a moment, Étienne simply watches his dog interact with his boyfriend trying to understand what is going on.
Tentatively, he brings out a hand and carefully places it on Edward’s shoulder, still not one hundred percent convinced he’s not tripping on something.
His hand makes contact with a solid shoulder clad in a jacket and it finally starts to fully register for him.
Edward is here.
Edward is actually physically here.
“Eddy?” He asks, his voice a small whisper, as if afraid that if he’d say it any louder it would break whatever illusion he’d entered.
“Hello, Sweetheart,” Edward tells him with a gentle smile and oh, Edward is really here! Étienne giggles, still in disbelief, as Edward opens up his arms for him and Étienne closes the distance between them, falling in his favourite embrace.
“How? I don’t understand?” He asks as he furrows his face in the crook of Edward’s very real neck and breathes in deeply, letting his senses wrap themselves around everything that is Edward.
“Decided to take a page out of your own book and surprise you.” Edward explains.
Étienne laughs and pulls back for a second to get a good look at his boyfriend – at this ridiculous man – and decides that he can ponder and care about all of this later. Right now, he’s simply giddy at the idea that Edward is here, with him, even if none of this really makes sense.
He hugs him extra tight and simply marvels at the solid weight of Edward in his arms.
They eventually make it back inside and Étienne remembers that he’d been previously helping his sister set the table. “Were you two in cahoots together?” He asks her when Élyse doesn’t even look surprised to see Edward in her living room.
“Of course,” She answers as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “Edward called me weeks ago.”
Étienne snaps his head back in his boyfriend’s direction, while Edward has the audacity to look embarrassed by the situation.
“Just when exactly did you plan this little escapade?” He asks by poking his boyfriend in his chest.
Said boyfriend shrugs, trying to look nonchalant, but his cheeks have pinked and he does that little bounce with his feet when he’s a little bit nervous.
“August? I think?” He answers after a moment, as if consulting with his own internal calendar.
Étienne blinks again and gawks. “August? That was two months ago!”
“It is.” Edward answers him calmly while Étienne’s heart goes through a riot of different emotions. “So glad you can count your months.” He teases, but it flies over Étienne’s head because his boyfriend had planned this surprise visit two months ago. His boyfriend, Edward, had – wanted to see him and had – planned to do so and had – orchestrated the whole thing with the help of his sister – and – his heart would not be able to contain all of the love he currently feels, because these are things he does, not that other people do.
“But – why?” He finally manages to ask.
“When I realised I wouldn’t be seeing you this summer, I figured I could come down now. I figured that with the long weekend and by taking a few days off, it would make for a nice little vacation to see you.” Edward tells him all of this as though it is the most obvious and natural of things, while Étienne tries to wrap his mind around the fact that somehow or other, Edward has done something for him that no one else has ever done.
Wordlessly, he pulls Edward back to him for another hug. He could say something, or at the very least, attempt to articulate exactly what it is he’s feeling, but there are no words in either official language that could encompass the vastness of what he feels. He settles for the hug instead, hoping that his actions can continue to speak louder than his words and Edward chuckles softly.
“Wanted to be as impulsive as you, but I couldn’t; hence, I messaged your sister.” Edward murmurs to him and Étienne finds that he really doesn’t care about the how and the why; just that Edward is here and he could have rented a private plane or come down by canoe and it would all be the same to him.
“This is good enough – more than good enough,” He tells him instead, because it is and this will go up there on the top of his list of wonderful things people have done for him. “I’m just surprised you were able to keep this is a secret from me; it’s not as if we haven’t spoken a million and seven times since August.”
“Trust me, I nearly slipped up more often than I care to admit. All those times you said you missed me; those late-night conversations, that one time you called me and it was even later than usual…”
Étienne looks up from the safety of Edward’s neck and finds him smiling down at him. He can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation and at the joyous feeling he has inside. He kisses Edward’s cheek because he can and his boyfriend’s cheeks tint over again. He thinks Edward looks lovely with pinked cheeks caused by his kiss and so he does it again.
“Bouclé…” Edward warns with a laugh of his own and Étienne stops, even though they are mostly alone, even if his sister is off in the kitchen.
“Thank you – for making the time to surprise me,” He doesn’t let go of Edward just yet, too content to having him in his arms and Edward doesn’t seem to mind too much.
“You may have missed me, but I may have also missed you.”
This time, it’s Étienne who goes pink all over and he politely excuses himself from his boyfriend’s embrace to hide his face in his hands. However, despite the minor embarrassment and the minor shock he still feels at Edward’s surprise visit, he’s still pleased as punch. He knows they’ll have time later to catch up and talk, so for now, he’s content to give his sister a hand and let Edward settle in.
FIN
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me, like, last week: man ive been in such a writing rut.
me, today, wrote 9 pages on calvins thoughts.
me: ok then.
please enjoy 9 pages of calvins thoughts. i realise ive written a similar series of things on this topic, but not necessarily from calvins pov and if anything, complicated thoughts happen more than once :)
Best Boyfriend Award
?, 2023+
In his humble opinion, Calvin was a great hecking boyfriend and he deserved an award for being so open-minded and chill about the current state of affairs. As far as he was concerned, he’d come a long way in the past few years, really. After all, he went from having a very homophobic reaction to Edward’s coming out, losing his best friend because of said reaction, making amends and reconnecting with said best friend, somehow or other hooking up with Edward for funsies – or whatever they’d both called it at the time, doing some introspection only to realise that he might have a thing for Edward, admitting to Edward that he had a thing for him and finally starting an actual god-honest-adult relationship with Edward where they talked about their feelings and admitted to liking one another.
As far as business plans went, he was doing quite well, thank you very much.
Okay, sure, most of the second part of it had come as a surprise and had been unplanned, but anyone who made business plans knew that there always had to be some room for unexpected curve balls. The whole ‘I-might-have-actual-romantic-feelings-for-Deadward’ had been his curve ball and, honestly, it had all worked in his favour in the end. So again, he was totally winning at this. He’d entered the twenty-first century, had nearly lost one of his dearest and oldest friends, but somehow, he’d come in clutch in the last quarter and had changed things around for the best.
Totally winning.
Of course, anyone who made business plans also knew that sometimes, there were other unexpected curveballs that even experts couldn’t predict. Calvin had not been an exception to that particular clause.
Because obviously, the universe still liked to come for him every now and again and this was really the crutch as to why he was the actual best hecking boyfriend out there and deserved an actual award.
See, after he’d ironed things out with Edward, he’d remarked that Edward, his darling dearest, seemed to have been in a rift with none other than Étienne M. Maisonneuve. And Calvin had decided that he would make it his mission – his personal mission – to fix it. Because, Calvin was not a stupid man, and in this day and age, it was always important to make good connections. A big city player like Étienne was an important asset to have. Étienne had been around the block and even though Montreal no longer held the same economic and financial power it once had, the city remained significantly important. Therefore, it was good to build bridges and maintain friendly relationships. It would pay out in the long run; of that he was absolutely convinced.
(The fact that Calvin had always looked up to Étienne was neither here nor there. The guy was cool, okay? There was something about Étienne’s French carelessness that gave him a certain dje-neh-say-kwa. Calvin could only hope to achieve that easy way Étienne carried himself. Hence, he’d devised his clever little scheme (business plan#2) of the Brunch Gang, where he’d assembled all the high city slickers to get to know them better.)
(And the fact that he thought Edward, of all people, was also really cool was neither here nor there, okay? Deadward was Deadward, and for as much as he was actually lame most of the times, in his own lameness, Edward was cool. Edward was always willing to help those he cared for (in his own way, but still.) And, Edward was always patient with him, even if it meant having to punch some sense in him in the literal way. Edward was a good person.)
Anyways.
After he had gotten over just how actually cool it was to hang out with the others, Calvin had realised, after mentioning to Edward something Étienne had said or done, that his boyfriend (!!!) had – reacted rather strangely to hearing the other’s name.
How utterly naïve he had been.
At first, he’d thought Edward was being his regular obtuse self, when he’d suggested time and again that he could introduce Edward to Étienne. He wasn’t completely stupid though. He knew that Étienne and Edward were friends. Had been friends. Something, whatever. It didn’t matter. Once upon a time, the two used to hang out. He knew, because Edward had mentioned Étienne in passing a few couple of times, and Calvin had run into Étienne in Edmonton a few times as well.
But, he’d thought they’d been friends. That’s it. That’s all. Friends who’d had some big ol’ spat and didn’t know how to patch things up.
However, after prodding Edward half a million times, eventually, Edward had told him the truth of the matter. The whole danged complicated hot mess of a truth and how Edward had gone and fallen for none other than Étienne M Maisonneuve and how he had no actual idea how it was that it had spectacularly backfired so epically.
Calvin had been very cool and calm and collected about the Whole Thing, really. So, Edward had a complicated past with Étienne. Big deal. That was fine.
He still thought the two of them should talk it over and mend broken bridges and such. If only to move on and get closure. And he was ready to be a good boyfriend and help the process. Because he was that great of a human being, thanks.
(Of course, he hadn’t taken into account that Edward would do things his own way and somehow manage to reconnect with Étienne all on his own, in the least spectacular way ever. But whatever, at least Edward no longer got that stupid haunted look whenever Étienne’s name came up in a conversation. So, there was that. Progress. Amazing.)
And this was when the stupid curveball came. When Calvin’s super-great-business-plan-that-wasn’t-a-business-plan nearly crumbled before his very eyes.
It happened when, a few years later, after Edward’s rekindled friendship with Étienne was actually starting to go somewhere, Edward admitted that he still had Feelings for Étienne of the Romantic Kind. (Ok, the context of how Edward had told him was not the best (there may have been booze. Edward may have been a bit out of it.) But – well, those had been words that had been said out loud.)
And then, Calvin’s world had stopped for one hot minute. Fears he thought he didn’t have coiled around his heart, slithering up his spine. Was Edward going to leave him? Had he been some odd little rebound experiment? Was this how his little white picket fence dream came to an end? How was he going to deal with all of this?
Before he could properly freak out, Edward had told him not to worry, since he wasn’t even sure Étienne had ever even felt that way about him then and that there was little chances he felt that way about him now, especially since, y’know, he was with Calvin and all that.
It had – reassured Calvin. For like, a minute. He’d been very appreciative that Edward had been honest with him. In his own way. At least he knew. And, well, Étienne was a cool guy, so like, Calvin could understand. Especially given the fact that once upon a time Edward and Étienne had been – their own version of a Thing. So, he got it. Really. And Edward had told him not to worry.
So, he did his utmost best Not to Worry.
If he’d believed that that was the end of it, the proverbial joke really was on him. Because, obviously, it got better.
He was not sure if it had been his idea to invite Étienne over, but Étienne had come over during the summer to visit. It had been nice, really, to spend time with Étienne and the others. It had been quite fine, if he’d said so himself. It had been great until Edward had returned from a walk with Étienne and there was something about them. Something so completely different that the strange little coil of fear had returned tenfold.
And then Edward had told him. About what had happened during the walk. (Well, okay, not everything, but the big lines.) How they had somehow both realised they still had feelings for one another. And how those feelings had existed back then as well. And how they had managed to talk about it and admit to it. And how they were going to give it a shot.
Calvin had not freaked out. No siree Bob he had not. He’d been cool as a cucumber. Edward had told him in the same breath that he also planned on continuing his relationship with him. Because that was a thing that was possible in the twenty-first century. Yup. He’d been fine with it. Best boyfriend ever award right then and there.
(Okay, he’d freaked out about it in private afterwards. Like, at least fourteen times. But that was between him and the comfort of his four walls. Plus, it was a good way to process these feelings instead of bottling everything inside.)
But he’d been very cool about it with Edward. Edward had reassured him he still cared about him. Calvin believed him and it had been fine. Peachy. Really great.
(That ugly thing inside reminded him that Étienne lived miles and miles away, and so, he had the greater advantage here. He could see Edward whenever he damned pleased. The Eastern bastard could pine from afar, while he got to wine and dine Edward. He and Edward had a long history together. They were close. They were friends and they always had each other’s backs. They had history. Insides. Private little jokes.)
(But then the sensible part of him also reminded him that Étienne was a good guy. He was cool even. And Edward and Étienne also had their own long history. They’d been friends before he’d even taken a first breath. They had different insides and different private jokes. A whole goddamned past together. Oh God, Edward was going to replace him with Étienne and it would be over for him, who was he even trying to kid?)
But, he had the upper hand. He lived closer. So there. Calvin: 1, Eastern Bastard: 0.
He wasn’t being petty.
He was being very grown up and mature about the whole my-boyfriend-has-another-boyfriend-thing. Many other people would have not been this cool about it.
Hence, the award.
Because, on top of being cool about the situation, Calvin also liked to believe that even though he had complicated feelings about their arrangement, he also imagined that it must suck living so far away from one’s boyfriend. If the roles were reversed, he would hate it. So, when he wasn’t having his complicated feelings, he took the noble and gallant approach (so that he could be the best boyfriend ever, but that was neither here nor there.)
Therefore, when Étienne came to visit Edward, Calvin often made it a point to show up a few days later to give them space to reconnect.
By the time he would show up, Étienne and Edward were already re-settled around each other and it would only trigger that ugly thing inside of him all over again. (Sometimes, Calvin just couldn’t win.)
It was in all the little ways Étienne and Edward were around each other that served as hundreds of little knives that stabbed at all his insecurities.
Étienne was a handsy fellow. Calvin knew that. But there was something different when he saw Étienne curled up around Edward on the sofa. How at ease they both looked. Or when Étienne would drape himself over Edward’s shoulders in the early mornings and Edward would lean back ever so, a soft smile on his face while Étienne furrowed his face in the crook of Edward’s neck. Or how it seemed that Étienne was always seeking a point of contact with Edward – and Edward let him. The morning hugs. The lingering kisses. (He’d walked in on so many of those instances. So many lingering hugs and deep kisses had been interrupted because of him and he’d always felt bad. Now he made it a point to whistle as he approached the kitchen, or the living room and it made things a little less awkward. There were still times when his heart would clench when he’d walk into the living room and find Étienne sprawled over Edward, while Edward played with his hair, or if Edward was happily nestled by Étienne’s side, a reminder that he was a spare boyfriend and currently unnecessary.)
Then, there was the way Étienne always seemed to be able to make Edward laugh. Either with his comments, his anecdotes or something he’d do intentionally for Edward’s amusement. It felt at times as though Calvin could never be on the same level. (Deep down, he knew he was wrong, but there were always those moments when it didn’t feel like that.)
He also spotted the looks Edward would give Étienne; from fond exasperation to very much in love. He knew Edward too well not to know what his looks meant, and he wondered if his own boyfriend ever looked at him like that. (And then there was the way Étienne looked at Edward. It was all soft and besotted, as if Edward had hung the moon for him. Calvin tried not to think of those looks too much. He knew those looks. He knew he gave Edward those same damned looks. But he was supposed to be beyond this, so he fought through the ugly thing inside of him and did his best to smile and move on.)
It didn’t always work, for there were times, even, when it felt as though Étienne could get away with murder under Edward’s watch. Edward let Étienne do things that Calvin couldn’t even think about without Edward being on his case about it. And – that was just being mean and cruel and very unfair, for it seemed as though Étienne’s relationship with Edward was more special than his own. (It had taken him decades before Edward had let him use one of his fancy teacups, whilst Étienne had been given access to them from nearly day one.)
How was he supposed to compete with decades of intense friendship? How was he meant to cope with the fact that Étienne had been Edward’s escapism? Where did he rank when Étienne had offered him the world when Edward’s own family had treated him like garbage?
What the heck was Edward doing with him, when Étienne was mature and more experienced in so many different ways?
He wished it was only about the looks and the touches and the special permissions and the long history, but there was even more than that.
It was how for the first day or so, Calvin couldn’t bring himself to go back to Edward’s room. It wasn’t that Étienne was also sharing it, (see, he was such a good boyfriend that they always got back to the point where they could all share Edward’s bedroom without him having complicated feelings about it), but it always felt too intimate to simply waltz in it right away.
(And, sure, every time Étienne would immediately tell him he could return to the guestroom when Calvin showed up, but Calvin would politely decline even if that ugly part of him screamed to jump on the occasion and reclaim what was his. They’d awkwardly squabble over it for a moment, because deep down, both of them wanted to stay with Edward and both of them were trying to be polite about the ordeal.)
It was a toss up on who abdicated first.
When Étienne got to stay longer, Calvin was left alone with his thoughts in the guest room, trying very hard not to imagine what could or could not be happening in Edward’s room. He did his best not to let his imagination run with potential ideas, but there had been times when reality did it for him.
Like, that time when he’d heard breathless laughter coming from Edward’s room.
That other time when he’d heard a raspy little moan that had to come from Étienne.
Or, even, that one late night when he’d gone to use the bathroom and had very nearly walked into Étienne who’d been coming back from the kitchen, dishevelled as all else with what had clearly been Edward’s boxer briefs hastily thrown on.
And that other morning when Edward had looked so utterly pleased and satisfied – a look he knew quite well – with a smattering of hickeys on his neck that he’d failed to attempt to hide.
In those moments, Calvin wondered why Edward kept him around.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but why did Edward need him, when he had Étienne? Was he just a close commodity to have at hand when he got lonely? Was Edward stringing him along? They’d talked about this, sure, but what if Edward had changed his mind?
Étienne was someone. Étienne was funny. Étienne made things looks easy and he carried himself as though he did not have a care in the world. Heck, Étienne did what he wanted and did not care for the repercussions. He lived life according to what pleased him. Étienne was suave and sophisticated. God, even now Étienne was an aspiration.
And –
And, okay. Calvin also knew that there was more to Étienne M Maisonneuve. Countless brunch dates with the others had given him further insight into the man. Étienne was a complicated person just like they all were, but despite all that, there were still times when Calvin felt utterly inadequate around him, as if he was still some petulant, spoiled child.
Which was why, despite being the best boyfriend ever for having such an open mind about the fact that Edward loved them both (and not in a you’re better than the other way) in equal ways, Calvin sometimes found it difficult.
Damn it, he was allowed to find it difficult at times.
And mope about it.
Just – not in Edward’s face.
He didn’t want to worry Edward. Or have Edward think that he wasn’t on board. Because he was! He really, really was. He wanted Edward to be happy. If he made Edward happy then he was winning. If it meant that Étienne also made Edward happy then that was fine! More than fine, even. Because, Étienne wasn’t a monster. So, it was fine.
So, Calvin sighed and stared up at the ceiling in the guestroom where he’d currently been taking up residence in.
He’d arrived two days ago. Étienne had already been here for four.
He’d been having more complicated feelings than usual. He’d been ruminating, really. He didn’t want to be ruminating. But he was. Because, maybe, he wasn’t as great of a boyfriend as he thought he was.
He was brought out of his thoughts from a knock on the guestroom door. For a brief moment, he thought maybe it was Edward, come to tell him that he was the love of his life (not that Edward would ever say that, but dreaming was still free), but instead it turned out to be Étienne.
“Mind if I come in? Ed said he left a sweater of mine in the dresser.”
Calvin made a noncommittal gesture that Étienne interpreted as a yes and Calvin watched him as he made his way in the room and to the dresser.
Étienne retrieved the aforementioned sweater and was about to head back, when he paused by the door. Calvin should have made the effort to look busy instead of feeling sorry for himself, but it was too late, there was now a frown on Étienne’s face and he was looking at him.
“You can tell me to fuck off if you want, but are you okay? You seem – out of it.”
Calvin didn’t want to burden Étienne with his complicated thoughts and wanted even less for him to think that he wasn’t cool with him dating Edward so he kept his mouth shut about all of that. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” Even though it was a big fat lie and from the looks of it, Étienne knew he was telling him a big fat lie.
Étienne put the sweater on top of the dresser and walked back towards the bed. “Mind if I sit?” Again, Calvin shrugged, but he didn’t make an effort to move over. Étienne didn’t seem to mind and perched himself on the edge of the bed.
“Is this another one of your killer migraines? Should I get Ed? Do you need anything? Gogurt, maybe?” There was a genuine tone of worry in Étienne’s voice and the very last thing Calvin wanted was for Étienne to get their communal boyfriend.
“No – it’s fine. Just – overthinking. Don’t get Ed.” He blurted, sitting up, his arms suddenly animating on their own and reaching out for Étienne to stop him from doing any of those things.
“Ah, I know a thing or two about those,” He said with a small chuckle. “Care to share? We can commiserate together.”
There was no way he was going to tell Étienne. It would just give him an advantage, really. Plus, then Étienne could goad it over his head and remind him that he was the superior boyfriend, or some such. Therefore, he stayed quiet hoping Étienne would leave him alone.
“You should come back to the living room with us. Edward misses you.”
It came out before he could stop himself, “Why would he? He has you.” Calvin groaned and looked away from Étienne. Way to be cool and beyond this and all that.
Étienne had the decency of laughing and Calvin wanted to punch him in the face. He very nearly did, until he realised that doing so would not win him any favours with Edward.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh – or, I wasn’t laughing at you,” Étienne was quick to reassure him even if Calvin wasn’t entirely convinced. “It’s just – I feel like I’ve had very similar thoughts to what you just said and Edward had the gall to tell me that we were both similar in our thoughts. I didn’t believe him at first, but now I think he was right.”
There were a myriad of things Calvin wanted to say, but the words died at the back of his throat. Anyways, he found it very hard to believe that Étienne felt remotely the same about their current situation. Étienne was an open-minded person who had sex for fun. Surely, he wouldn’t have hang ups about his boyfriend having another boyfriend. That was a problem for idiots like him.
“Are you also contemplating the intricate patterns of the ceiling then?” Calvin meant to sound annoyed and sarcastic, but Étienne just nodded and laughed.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve contemplated those patterns.” Étienne had the decency to manhandle his body so that he could properly sit besides him and Calvin wanted to squawk about it, but found that he didn’t really care. For the first time, he was starting to believe that maybe – just maybe, Étienne was really on the same page as him and that maybe, just maybe, this would be okay.
“Listen, I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s okay if sometimes you get a little insecure about all of this. It just means you’re normal. God knows I do… it’s like – one thing having Ed tell you it’s going to be okay, but another when you see the guy you love making out with his other boyfriend or something. It messes with your head on some level.” Étienne told him softly, placing what he supposed was meant to be a comforting hand to his calf.
Calvin pondered that for a moment, fiddling with his fingers, completely fascinated by them all of a sudden. The thing was, he wasn’t supposed to feel this way. He was supposed to be the Good Boyfriend who was Fine with This. And – more often than not, he was! He truly was! Just… sometimes… sometimes, like Étienne had just said, it messed with his head on some level, and to hear Étienne admit to it calmed him somewhat.
“I wish it wasn’t so complicated though; how do you do it?” He spared Étienne a glance, afraid the other would be judging him, but instead, a tranquil expression of calm was on his face.
“You mean, other than have a couple of existential crises and second guess when the other shoe is going to drop?”
Calvin nodded, waiting for him to go on.
“Well, for starters, Edward usually finds me and knocks some sense into me. But, if he doesn’t happen to be around, I tell myself that I’m going to trust that Ed isn’t out to shatter our fragile little hearts and that if he says he genuinely wants to be with both of us, then that’s okay with me.”
Calvin let the words sink in and ruminated them over. Edward had told him a similar thing before as well. He opened his mouth to ask something, but then closed it, embarrassed, before opening it again and tried to find the right words to the burning question that the ugly thing inside of him kept feeding on. Étienne patiently waited, rubbing soothing circles on his shin and the point of contact was nice. He wasn’t sure why Étienne was being so nice to him, but he wasn’t about to complain.
“Do you ever wonder…” He finally started to ask, letting him trust that Étienne wasn’t going to mock him for his little insecurity. “If things would have worked out… between you and Edward if…”He tried to piece his words together but found himself grasping at straws, trying to put his complicated thought into actual words.
“If one of us had said something back then? Or reached out over the many years?” Calvin nodded and Étienne sighed. “Yeah. More often than I’d like to admit, but… it’s in the past. There’s no way we can know how it would have played out. It’s time to move on and embrace this crazy chance we got now. If Ed’s happy, then I’m happy and I’ll do my best not to look too much into it. I think we’re better off if we just roll with it and see where it brings us.”
Calvin nodded. He also wondered if it would sting less if it had been anyone else than Étienne. Someone with less history, but then, it wouldn’t be the same. And even though there were still these moments of doubt, he was still, deep down, glad that it was Étienne, for he was, after all, a good guy.
And so, in his attempt to be a good boyfriend, Calvin would keep trying. He supposed that was all he could really do and that it was already much better than nothing. At least, knowing that he wasn’t completely alone in this helped. He looked over at Étienne and gave him a thankful smile.
FIN
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one day i will finish with the silly idea of ed visiting ét over thanksgiving. one day. o n e d a y .
Home Alone
October 7th 2023
Once they are safely inside, the leftovers have been taken care of and Mercury unleashed, Étienne wastes no time in crowding Edward against his front door to kiss him proper.
“Been wanting to do this since the moment you turned up at my sister’s.” Étienne murmurs against Edward’s lips, voice low and lips pliant as he already goes for a second of many kisses.
Edward laughs, arms wrapping tight around Étienne, “Surprised you didn’t, to be honest.”
“Knew it’d be hard to stop if I did. It’s been too fucking long.” As if to prove his point, he kisses him again and Edward lets him, thankfully. The man has that effect on him and he can never seem to get enough.
“Wanted to slip in the washroom with you as well,” He adds, nipping along Edward’s jaw and Edward does his very best not to moan, because – it has been a rather long time, and Étienne is really good at what he’s doing. “Help undress you.” The bastard smirks when Edward does groan this time as if this was and had been his exact plan. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was, really. Not that he minds or anything. He very much likes these types of plans Étienne seems to have in his regard.
“Wouldn’t have minded if you did. Also surprised you didn’t, really.” Edward manages to say, trying to play along to Étienne’s game, but he sometimes forgets that Étienne has had years more practice at this. Étienne’s face is only mere inches away from his and up close like this, he can see just how green his eyes can get, as if he went along and forgot over their months apart. They’re a very pretty shade. He might be just a little bit biased.
“It would have been rude to my sister, but all I wanted to do was get on my knees and blow you.”
It’s a good thing he’s leaning against the wall, given how Edward’s knees have gone weak. He’s not sure he can form words at the moment, not with his mental cinema providing the images of what that would have been like had Étienne decided to act on his impulses. He’s glad he hadn’t, what with Élyse and the rest of the family being there, but the action in itself would have been quite welcomed. Minus the other houseguests, naturally.
His response yet again is to pull Étienne back for another kiss and for a while, that’s all they do and it feels good to be this close; to reconnect and touch and feel.
“It was hard not to touch you, though and keep my hands to myself.” Étienne admits as his hands make up for lost time, caressing one moment and feeling the next, reacquainting themselves with beloved warm skin.
Edward may have noticed and he may have made it just a little bit more challenging for his beau. Sometimes, he had brushed up against him by accident. Other times, he had leaned in close to grab something. And he may have noticed Étienne lose focus of the conversation he’d been having for a second, or squirm just a little as he tried not to reach out for him in one way or another.
Edward knew he’d pay the price later and he’d looked forward to it.
“What else did you want to do to me?” He asks, fake casual as he plays along.
Étienne looks up from where he’d been busy lavishing Edward’s neck with attention and grins, “Oh, you know…” Étienne whispers the rest in his ear making him flush with want.
“Well, now that we’re at yours and alone, why don’t you put all those thoughts to action, Maisonneuve?”
“It’s as if you’re reading my mind.” Étienne smirks and grabs him by the hand, before he leads him off towards his bedroom, Edward more than happy to follow him.
FIN
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idk why im so blocked with writing recently. everything is so hard lamao. but here is a thing
October Long pt 2
October 7th 2023
Edward had excused himself to take a quick shower and change into more appropriate clothes and so, when he steps out of Élyse’s washroom, it is to more commotion coming from the living room. It seems that the rest of the family, minus Samuel, has arrived and he realises, not for the first time, that it’s been quite a long time since he’s last properly seen and spoken with Jacques and Suzette.
He tries not to panic as he wonders how they’ll react, but before he can discreetly hide anywhere else, Suzette seems to spot him from the other end of the room and she lets go of Étienne with an ear-piercing shriek, before making her way quickly towards him.
“Edward?! Is that really you?! I haven’t seen you in forever!”
He doesn’t even get a chance to respond and he soon finds himself with an armful of Suzette, who is going on about how good it is to see him and how much she’s apparently missed him. He’d forgotten just how energetic Suzette could be – and how strong – given her small stature, but she nearly picks him off the ground with her embrace and when he gets over the initial shock, he finds a way to hug her back. He spares a glance towards Étienne, silently asking for help, but his boyfriend shares a look with his brother and the both of them shrug, amused.
“It’s good to see you too,” He manages to wheeze, when his feet are fully back on solid ground.
Truth be told, he’d always enjoyed his holidays at Jacques (and Suzette’s). If anything, it had been a fascinating observation exercise in the strange dynamics of Étienne’s family. Compared to his own, Étienne’s family had never felt close. Sure, Étienne was close to Élyse, and sometimes Étienne would spend hang out with his cousin Charlie (even though it always felt as though it was done under duress), and he didn’t mind visiting Jacques on occasion, but Étienne and Samuel were like fire and water and it rarely felt as though any one of them would lend a hand to the other if there was some sort of grave situation.
At least, Edward thought, he had civil relations with most of his own family – to some extent – and knew that if one was going through something, the others would pitch in to help out. In most cases. Or – more so than Étienne’s family.
Anyways.
It had been quite interesting to see that despite everything, come Christmas, everyone made an effort and gravitated around to Jacques’ place, as if Catholic guilt, maybe, pulled them all back together. It was always fascinating how it was Jacques who seemed to be able to pull this, given that he was the quietest of them all, and maybe, Edward reflected, that was the key to the success. A stable force of nature to balance out Samuel’s snark and Étienne’s easy to ignite temper when he was around him.
Still, it had never felt forced, or at the very least, more often than not it had never felt forced, and maybe it meant that deep down, they all wanted to get along in their own ways but years of hurt had stopped them from reaching out properly.
But Edward keeps fond memories of those evenings filled with laughter and good food and that, if nothing else, has to count for something.
“You know, I was starting to think we would never see you again. Does this mean you and Étienne have patched things up?”
Edward spares Étienne another glance. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell Étienne’s family that they’re dating, but he also has not had this conversation with Étienne either. Technically, he also knows that Étienne’s family wouldn’t bat an eye at the notion, but he also doesn’t know if he wants to explain the particularities of his relationship just yet.
“If you’re asking if we’re friends again, then yes, we are.” Étienne comes to his rescue and Edward lets out a sigh of relief. “We finally pulled our heads out of our asses, rekindled our friendship, and El invited him over.”
“Oh! That’s wonderful; I’m so happy for you!”
“Thanks,” They both manage to say in unison.
Edward is amazed that Suzette doesn’t push it, but he’s also glad. He wonders as well if she’s that naïve, or if she’s giving them both the benefit of the doubt. He also has about half a dozen questions he’d like to ask his beau about where Suzette thought he’d been for the past few holidays and whether or not she’d ever really knew that they’d been sort of together back in the days. He’s not about to push his luck and ask, but he’ll have to have a chat with Étienne about it later; it would be nice to have a clear plan and version of facts for when it’ll be needed.
“You should come for Christmas! Like you used to. I can make you a new stocking and it would be lovely to have you over again. Oh, say you’ll come over for Christmas, Edward, please?”
Suzette looks at him with imploring and pleading brown eyes and she looks so very hopeful and pleased with her sudden little idea. Étienne squawks besides him, babbling on about how he must already have plans and how he has a family of his own and such. Edward appreciates the easy out he could take but at the same time, they had spoken about this last year; about alternating. And – it would be nice. He’d have to speak with Calvin and he knows for a fact that Étienne would tell him that Calvin is more than welcome. Plus, Samuel would be happy to see Calvin and vice versa, but he still needs a moment to figure it all out.
“Honey, tell Edward he can come over for Christmas.” Suzette nudges Jacques in the thigh and Edward still thinks it’s comical how this smidgen of a woman has such power over the quiet giant that is Étienne’s brother, Jacques.
“Of course.” Is all Jacques says and Suzette beams, as if that’s all the answer anyone needs.
“I’ll – that’s very nice of you to invite me – I’ll get back to you once I’m back home, but I would love to be there.”
His answer seems to be good enough for Suzette for now and she hugs him tightly once more, mentioning all the things she’s going to make. Edward lets her, oddly calmed by her chatter, until Élyse calls them over to the dining room.
FIN
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1998
January 5th 1998
Edward sits on his couch and puts up his feet on the ottoman. He turns the TV on and flips through the channels, trying to find any highlights from yesterday’s game. He’s still a bit jetlagged from his holiday trip to Montréal and he has half a mind to simply call it a day and hit the hay. He swears his eyes are playing a trick on him when across the screen, on a news channel, he sees the word Montréal and the backdrop of a street he’d just walked days before.
Except, the street is covered with a thick layer of ice.
He sits up a little straighter, legs going back to the floor, and he leans forward to hear what it is the newscaster has to say on this special bulletin.
It seems the island – and really, good chunks of the province – have been hit with a major ice storm. There are images of streets lined with cars that skitter this way and that and people who precariously balance on the soles of their feet as they attempt to cross icy sidewalks.
Edward makes to get up to call his friend, but then stops himself from doing so. Storms happen all the time and Étienne has had his fair share. Plus, for all he knows, his friend might not even be home and he would end up worrying for nothing. He tells himself he’s being silly, yet for some reason, he keeps the news channel on, and for the next few days, it’s all he’ll pay attention to.
--
Edward paces his living room, worrying the carpet under his feet. He feels useless and powerless as the television keeps giving him updates on the storm. He can’t help it, really. He worries by nature and Étienne is his friend. He knows how well Étienne does in the cold, but this is something completely different. They are reporting casualties now and Edward can’t help but wonder if he knows any of them – if Étienne knew any of them. He doesn’t allow himself to think that Étienne might be one of them, but he does worry about what the long term effects could be on him.
He keeps eyeing the telephone, feeling it burn a hole in the back of his head when he’s not looking at it, but he tells himself that no news is good news and that Étienne most likely is relatively fine. After all, the man had crossed the country in much more perilous weather beforehand. (Yet, he’s very well aware of the fact that Étienne heats with electricity and that he has no fireplace. But Étienne is resourceful and maybe – just maybe – he’s one of the lucky ones with power. Or, that, at the very least, he’s found refuge at someone who does.)
He chews on the nail of his thumb and flops back on his couch, defeated, and lets the images on the television screen wash over him.
--
He’s nearly upset when the phone rings and he answers it only for it not to be Étienne. Every time the phone rings (which isn’t very often), his heart stills for a moment, wondering and hoping that it would be news from Étienne letting him know that he’s alright.
It never is and every time, Edward finds himself with mounting disappointment. Then again, he tells himself as he makes his way back to the living room, why would Étienne even call him? It’s not as if he knows that Edward is worried and it’s not as if they normally call each other over such matters. Plus, there’s always the odd chance the other won’t be around to pick up, so it’s best to plan these things in advance. Usually.
He’s thought of writing to him, even though it’s Étienne’s turn to reply, but by the time the missive would reach his friend, the storm may as well be over. The agony of waiting would be too much on him and there would be the chance of the letter getting lost as well.
He finally caves in, after he sees one too many trees snap and fall on television, and makes a dash for the phone, before he dials a phone number he knows by heart.
He doesn’t know what he’ll say, but he holds his breath as the phone rings and rings, charges be damned.
L’abonné que vous tentez de joindre n’est pas disponible en ce moment.
Edward curses and slams the phone down hard.
This doesn’t mean anything.
It doesn’t mean that Étienne is frozen dead.
The phone won’t work if Étienne doesn’t have power.
But it might also mean that Étienne is also not home.
Maybe he’s at a shelter. Maybe he’s with his sister (and why doesn’t he have Élyse’s phone number at a time like this?) Maybe he’s simply out there helping the citizens of his city. (Maybe it’s worse. Maybe he’s been paralyzed by the impact of this storm. Maybe he’ll never see him again.) Maybe, it’s best to wait. To hope and to wait. Étienne is a resilient little bastard anyways. He’ll be fine.
He has to.
--
His birthday comes and then goes. He rushes to his answering machine when he gets home from his night out and he finds it weird not to find Étienne’s usual birthday message on his answering machine. Maybe his friend finally decided to listen to him and stopped this silly habit of his, or, maybe – (no, he’s not going there.)
Instead, he turns the news on and waits to hear the latest development from the storm. He scrutinises the images looking for a familiar head of curly hair and doesn’t know whether to be relieved or not when he doesn’t find one.
--
The storm may be over, but there are still hundreds and thousands left without power. There are repairs to be made and broken trees to clear from roads. Through it all, Edward waits and hopes that his friend has remained safe and that when he has a chance, he will call. He tells himself, if only to put his worries to rest, that he will try and call again by the end of the month, if he hasn’t heard anything.
Yet, he doesn’t have to wait that long, for late one afternoon, as he’s putting the last of the groceries away, the phone rings and Edward makes a mad dash for it – still hopeful – and near trips over the carpet.
“Hello?”
“Hey, sorry I didn’t call on your birthday, I –”
Relief washes over him like a soothing balm and he interrupts his friend before he can say whatever other nonsense he had planned. “Are you okay?!” He blurts out instead, his heart racing madly as he takes a step away from the kitchen, as if doing so would make him closer to his friend. As if he would be able to see for himself whether or not Étienne is all right.
There’s a soft chuckle from the other line and Edward may be imagining it, but it sounds a little raspier than usual. “I guess you heard about the storm, eh?”
“Did I hear about the – Christ, of course I heard about the storm. It’s all they had on the news – well, mostly. Was it as terrible as it looked?” He hopes Étienne will say no. It’ll make him feel better.
“Worse, probably. The city is still a mess – lots of clean up to do. Lots of repairs and such.” Étienne coughs; deep and wet and the next breath he manages to take rattles.
Edward doesn’t like the way he sounds and he repeats his earlier question.
“I’m – I don’t know. Better? It was hell, Ed. Real talk; it was hell.” Étienne finally tells him after a beat of silence. He sighs, defeated, and Edward gives him the space to tell him his tale and answer all of his questions. “First day was alright – nothing I’d never experienced before. But, as the storm took hold of the city, I felt it. In my bones. In my body. I was so cold. I was so cold, but I needed to get out and help the others. Figured I’d be fine.”
Edward can imagine him, checking up on his neighbours and making sure they were alright.
“On the third morning, I couldn’t move. I may have been feverish and delirious. I don’t remember. I don’t know how I made it out alive, really. I could feel the ice inside of me. I’m not even sure if that makes sense, but I hadn’t felt anything like this is centuries.”
“But you’re – better now, yeah?” He asks when Étienne doesn’t add anything else. He’s relieved, really, to hear from his friend. The idea – the mere thought of losing him forever… it’s too much. (Logically, he knows that it would take more than an ice storm to put a permanent end to them, but still. He doesn’t want to think about it. Étienne may get on his nerves at times and their relationship may be complicated on a good day, but the man is still his friend and still important to him.)
“I’m recovering, if that’s what you mean. There’s a long road ahead of me, but I’m conscious, so I suppose that’s a start.”
In that moment, Edward wishes he lived closer so that he could, at the very least, wrap an extra blanket around Étienne’s shoulders and hold him close. Instead, he sends a silent thank you to whatever higher being might still be out there that his friend is on the mend and that hopefully, all of this is now behind him. For now, he offers what little comforts he can over the home and hopes it’s enough.
FIN
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little idea that’s been bouncing around my head for a while.
you know me and my soft little scenes, lol (and also stellar titles hahaha)
Tattoo V
Summer, 202?
Edward furrows his face in Étienne’s chest and sighs. He’s content and comfortable and the weight of Étienne’s hand running up and down his back is both warm and familiar. He could fall asleep like this – he has done just so nearly half a thousand times and right now, he wouldn’t change it for the world.
Instead, he lets his index lazily follow the lines that compose Étienne’s vine tattoo, as he has done so many times before as well. Here is a leaf, there is a thistle and so forth. Still, so many years later and many more moments such as these, Étienne’s vine tattoo remains his favourite. He can’t say why, but he likes the way it looks, the way it weaves around the side of Étienne’s body and the homage it is to Étienne’s origins.
Edward counts petals on lilies and stems on shamrocks, while his finger slides along branches of yellow pine intertwined with the vine itself, until he reaches a marigold nestled close to a rose not quite like the others.
He can’t help but smile, despite himself – despite how ridiculous (in a good way) he still thinks this is and he presses a feather light kiss to the rose and the marigold, before resettling against his boyfriend. He knows, now, what they mean and even though there were times before when he’d wished Étienne would have told him in plain terms, he’s glad they’ve found their way back to one another. (The marigold had been a pleasant surprise as well and at least that one had been obvious. The rose, however, had left him wondering for years.) Therefore, he resumes his lazy tracing, until his hand comes to a rest on Étienne’s chest, covering rose, marigold and a lily as well.
“Did you ever regret the wild rose?” Edward asks, curious and a little bit brave. He’d wondered, on and off, and it had never really come up in conversation. He’d speculated at best, before, but had never really bothered going beyond that. Étienne wasn’t talking to him anymore and he certainly wasn’t putting any effort in reaching out. He didn’t need to waste his time wondering if his once lover had come to regret his impulsive decision to get what had seemed like a wild rose tattooed on himself.
Now is different. Now, they are back together and Étienne is warm against him and the rhythmic beating of his heart is a lullaby to his soul.
The hand that had been running up and down his back stills for a fraction of a second, before it resumes its happy ministrations and Étienne lets out a soft chuckle. Edward feels a kiss pressed to the top of his head, before Étienne’s own hand finds his. Étienne doesn’t say anything at first; simply lets their hands lay one on top of the other and Edward marvels, not for the first time, how his lover’s hands manage to feel warm, for a man who constantly complains about being cold. He lets Étienne gather his thoughts and nearly comes to forget he had ever asked a question, until he finally speaks.
“No; not to the point of thinking of having it removed.”
Edward is surprised by Étienne’s quiet answer. He thinks that, had the roles been reversed, he would have wanted the reminder gone or camouflaged – embarrassed at the very least as soon as possible. But then again, Étienne has always operated in strange and unique ways and he supposes this is just another one of them.
Edward sits up enough to give him an odd look and Étienne grins before pulling him back down.
“Why not?”
“To be honest, I liked to think that eventually, we would be friends again. Even if you never returned my feelings, even if I moved on from you, after being friends with you for so long, I wanted to believe that one day, we would move past all of this and that at the very least, we would be friends like before. You were always important to me… hated to think that you would never be again.”
The answer surprises him. Of all the answers Étienne could have given him, he’s stunned by this one. “That’s… oddly optimistic of you…” He admits. It’s not that Étienne isn’t, but they had gone nearly two decades without so much as an exchange of polite formalities. There is nothing that said it couldn’t have gone on for another century and he knows for a fact that Étienne can hold a grudge against certain people for quite some time. Hence, the idea that all throughout those years, Étienne had kept some small hope that they would rekindle their broken friendship alive was touching, if not astounding. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure he had remained as hopeful…
Étienne shrugs and moves his hand from his back to his hair. It feels nice and Edward closes his eyes to the sensation, focusing on that instead. “We live long lives; I would have found it really sad if we never did reconnect. Even if it had to take another thirty years. Whenever I saw the wild rose, it was a reminder of the goal I had. Eventually, one day, I’d do something about it and reach out to you.”
This time, it’s Edward who chuckles softly and gives Étienne’s hand a squeeze. “Or, I’d see you sadly eating a pathetic lunch in a convention center’s cafeteria and sit with you.” Edward recalls that infamous day a few years back. He’s not sure himself what had pulled him to walk over to Étienne, but he doesn’t regret doing so.
“I’m glad you did.” Étienne takes Edward’s hand and brings it to his lips. He places the sweetest of kisses to it and Edward is glad Étienne cannot hear the way his heart accelerates at the gesture or the way his cheeks heat up as well.
“Me too.” He murmurs and he still smiles, despite himself, but he has the luxury of being able to hide his face amongst the bouquet on Étienne’s chest.
FIN
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fits as au and canon
finally, the third and last idea from that one song from the other day lamao
Bright Red Lipstick [And We’ll All Sing Along]
It’s the last holiday show and Kate is a mixture of emotions. On the one hand, she’ll miss the fanfare of the holiday bonanza and presenting these particular numbers, but on the other, she can’t wait to find her usual costumes and put every rendition of All I Want for Christmas and Santa Baby behind her. She loves her friends who work with her dearly, but she’s officially reached her limit. She’s tired and exhausted, but she’s also very much well aware that in a week’s time, she’ll miss the vibrant backstage atmosphere and the thrill of performing. It’s her yearly conundrum and she’s far too used to it to do anything about it.
Kate makes sure her wig is ready, before she brings it up to her vanity mirror to see how it looks. So far, the hair clips with the decorative holly are holding up nicely and they really make the wig look festive. She’s about to start on her makeup, figuring she can ask one of her friends to help her with the zipper on her dress, when there’s a very distinctive knock at her door. She puts her cream down and walks over to the door, opening it to reveal her boyfriend.
How it is that Étienne manages to sneak backstage time and again is beyond her, but she’s ever so pleased to see him and she ushers him in, closing the door behind them both. She supposes that by now, most of her friends have at least ran into Étienne once and there is the fact that Étienne can be very persuasive and charismatic when he wants to, even if the fact remains that he shouldn’t sneak around backstage. But, she’s not about to complain, if it means that she can have a few more minutes with her beau.
For starters, it isn’t every day that her boyfriend can come and see her perform, despite what they would both like and the fact that he’s here, for the last show of the holiday special, does give her an extra boost of energy. After tonight, she’ll be off until her birthday and she’ll get to spend that time with her beloved Étienne. She’s definitely looking forward to that.
“These are for you, my dear,” Étienne says, holding out a bouquet of flowers like he always does when he comes to see her shows. She pretends that she’s flustered by the gesture, if only for the sake of appearances, but she still retrieves the vase she keeps under the vanity for such occasions and fills it with water from the adjacent sink. She places the flowers on the side of her dresser and looks at them for a moment, smiling softly.
“I hope I’m not bothering you in your preparation,” Étienne mentions and she dismisses him with a hand as she returns to her mirror. There’s a reason she arrives extra early to prepare. Well – there are many reasons as to why she arrives early. Notably, she likes to give herself time to rehearse her number or numbers at least three more times and she doesn’t want to rush her preparation. Kate likes having the time to get dressed and do her makeup and if ever something doesn’t collaborate along the way, then she has the time to get it right. Plus, there’s always someone having some crisis or other and by being here, she can give a helping hand and not fall behind on her own preparation. Finally, on the nights that Étienne gets to see her perform, she can indulge in his company for a few minutes, before shooing him away.
“Absolutely not; you can help me with the dress.” She motions to the zipper and Étienne steps up behind her to do it up. He then hooks his chin over her shoulder and wraps his arms around her waist, all the while watching her start her transformation. He knows not to bother her and Kate has come to find out that Étienne can actually stay still and simply watch, so she lets him.
Étienne kisses her shoulder and she smiles at him through the reflection in the mirror. He leans his head back on her shoulders and quietly watches, mesmerized, as she transforms masculine traits into more feminine ones; exaggerating some along the way and picking the shades of eye shadow that’ll give her the look she wants. He likes watching the transformation, fascinated by the spectacle and the skill set needed. He is, and remains, an artist, after all and he is captivated by the magic happening before his eyes.
Kate keeps the conversation light, as she picks up one brush and another, glad Étienne gets to be here and watch her perform for the holiday specials. For as much as she misses her old numbers and familiar dresses, there is also something special with this particular holiday dress. The design had been Étienne’s and they had spent many a late night conversation going over details and corrections, between fits of giggles, as Étienne had done his very best to put her vision to paper. He had offered to make the dress, but she had politely declined, preferring to have it done on location. It would be easier that way for fittings and alterations. She could have put something together herself, but she’d been given carte blanche for this and had wanted to do something a little bit different and bold.
“Green suits you, my dear.” Étienne murmurs into her neck. There’s a pleased little besotted look to his face that warms Kate’s insides, despite what she may say. She indulges him, giving the hand resting on her abdomen a squeeze, before she applies the last line of eye shadow.
“You say that because it’s your colour.”
Étienne chuckles; a cat caught with its paw in the cream, and denies nothing. Instead, he holds her a little closer and lets out a content little happy sigh, as if there’s no other place he’d rather be at the moment.
There’s just her lipstick left, when Kate gets an idea. She wiggles out of Étienne’s embrace and sits on the vanity counter, motioning to her boyfriend to step closer. He does as he’s told, curious, and leans in, closing the gap between them. Kate applies the lipstick, no longer needing to look in a mirror, having done this so many times that she could do it with her eyes closed, before she presses a kiss to Étienne’s right cheek, leaving a bright red stain where her lips had been.
“What are you doing?” Étienne asks, chuckling as Kate starts over with her process and then does the same with the other cheek.
“Giving you Christmas kisses,” She answers, as if it’s the most obvious of things, before placing a third kiss to the corner of Étienne’s lips.
Her boyfriend lets her do as she pleases, and Kate only stops when she believes that she’s left enough bright red kiss marks on Étienne’s face.
She sits back, pleased with herself, and observes her handiwork for a moment. Étienne looks lovely this way and utterly content to have been kissed silly by her.
“You know what you should do,” She starts, cupping his chin with her hand, “You should leave these on when you go out to watch the show.”
Étienne gives her a look, pondering, and she knows that he’ll end up doing it. He likes to please her and this is the type of thing he would not mind doing at all. In a way, it would be a very public way of letting others around him know that Kat e has chosen him and he’s bound to announce this fact like a proud peacock.
“With pleasure,” He says, proving her point.
She beams at him and pecks his lips one more time, before sending him off to find his seat. With a final wave, Étienne wishes her luck and promises to find her after the show, and then lets her finish up her preparations.
FIN
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cuddling but with Thoughts and Stuff
Retrospection/Resolutions
January 3rd 2023
Edward comes to from a pleasant dream and stretches luxuriously. He cracks open his eyes and can’t help the pleased smile that comes to his face when he finds Étienne beside him still sound asleep. He can’t help the fond look he gives his dormant boyfriend as he takes in the thick sweater Étienne had borrowed for bed and the way he’s furrowed under the blankets. Some things, no matter what, will never change it seems.
He’s still amazed that Étienne had booked a flight last minute just to come and see him and he wonders, not for the first time, if the feeling will ever go away. (He hopes not.) Edward brushes a lock of curly hair from Étienne’s hair and marvels at how serene and peaceful Étienne looks. He sends a silent wish for him to carry this look for days to come and for the shadows that normally creep behind his good mood to stay at bay.
Étienne shifts, then, and turns away, back towards him, but still seems to be asleep. Edward stills, just to be sure, and when Étienne’s breathing remains even, if he’s to judge by the rise and fall of his shoulder, Edward tentatively slides in behind Étienne, before gently holding him close. He can’t help it, really, this time of the year always gets to him with a mixed bag of emotions and he’s always a little softer and nostalgic because of it.
He thinks back to an early month of January, years and years ago – at the turn of the new century and new millennium and the resolution he’d made with himself. He thinks back to how it had all backfired spectacularly on him and how, for a good long while, it had been one of the lowest points of his life. For a while, he had lost it all and he had wondered if it had been worth it and why he had done it. (Now he knows that it works out and that it’s worth it, but at the time, he’d been filled with bitter regrets.)
At least, before, he’d had a lover and a friend. At least, before, he could escape the suppression he felt home. At least, before, he could brush off any doubt the others had.
But it hadn’t been enough. He’d wanted more. (Why? Why had he wanted more?) He wanted to – live authentically.
Edward almost laughs.
Those had never been his words.
Therefore, he’d gambled the safety of his little crafted lies to – placate Étienne? Get him off his back? Prove to Calvin and the others that they were right? That they were wrong?
Who knows anymore.
The point of the matter is that with the turn of the century and the new millennium, he’d done his great coming out and it had cost him best friends and lover alike.
And for so long, he’d felt boiling resentment and anger. Towards himself. Towards Étienne who had pressured him into it in his own way. Towards Calvin for the way he had reacted. Towards himself. Towards himself. Towards himself – fuck his self!
He could have kept his mouth shut. Could have kept his head down.
But the rebel in him had been sick of the status quo and had seized this opportunity and from the ashes, he had rebuilt himself. He’d built a protective layer around his heart and he’d moved on – never looked back. (Fuck them!)
And yet, somehow, somewhere along the way, not only had he managed to grow into himself, but the ones he’d thought had shunned him for good had found their way back to him. (He’s still surprised, but he’s not complaining. Those had been some lonely years and he’s quite fine with leaving them behind for good.)
If he’d known then what he has now, he would have never believed it.
And yet, he has the proof right in front of him; Étienne soundlessly asleep, sharing his bed. Calvin who’ll be coming up in a few days to spend the weekend with him and Étienne. It’s mind-boggling but he’s eternally grateful.
It doesn’t hurt as much – the pain that had lived inside his heart for so long. It’s healed a lot over these many years and even though there are still some wounds that are still tender to the touch, he likes to believe that with more time, they too shall heal.
He holds on to Étienne a little tighter and can’t help but press his face against his shoulder, as if wanting to make sure that he’s really here and that this isn’t some desperate fever dream. (But he’s here. Étienne is here. Against all the greatest odds, somehow or other, he gets to have this. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. He has his best friends again and somehow, two boyfriends as well. It’s wild. He has no idea what he did to deserve this, but he does not take it for granted.)
Étienne slowly rouses from slumber and shifts back to face him. Edward feels a little bad for waking him, but doesn’t mind the way Étienne snuggles up to his chest and wraps himself around his body, looking for every source of warmth he can. Edward never lets go and Étienne’s weight pressed close helps ground him from his wayward thoughts.
There’s a soft warm kiss placed to the crook of his neck and Edward looks down in time to catch Étienne’s face appear with the prettiest of sleepy smiles on his face.
He likes this version of Étienne with the tousled hair and pillow creases on his cheeks. This version is soft around the edges and content to cuddle close for a moment longer. It’s a less complicated version that makes him dare to hope that this time around, they’ll get it right. (He likes the complicated version as well, but right now, this is exactly what he wants and needs; a quiet moment where they can just be. There’ll be time later for more complex versions of themselves.)
Edward holds him close and breathes in the comfort of him. He can stay here as well, for a spell.
FIN
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