Sides As Things My Friends Said
Keep in mind all these quotes are from girls cause all the guys I know are the sane ones.
Virgil: Too stressed to be blessed-
Roman: If their dick is called a twinkie, they are a twink! "So your a twink?" Who says I have a dick!
Remus: I don't care about his character development, I care about his dick hair!
Janus: Yes I'm bisexual, yes I'm homophobic. We exist.
Logan: GRAPHIC NOGALS!!!
Patton: Social media keeps telling me that I have daddy issues, but you can't have issues with something you've never had.
The Mystery Side: I live by the rule that my dreams will never happen, but I should be ready just incase!
Emile: There is trauma in being the group therapist
Thomas: "Would you like some cocoa butter?" No, I lactose intolerant
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Watch Shielagh Thompson Clark's Victim Impact Statement yourself. Here's a transcript:
Twenty years might be a long time for most people, but it still feels like yesterday for me because trauma doesn't age. Neither should time wear out guilt or erode consequence.
Mr. Weaver didn't just touch my body, he shattered my personhood. I need you to understand that the damage done by the physical touch was enormous. But the most pervasive harm was done with the blame that followed.
For me to believe that I was evil, that my body had power I was neither aware of nor able to harness which made the Man of God do bad things and put the people I loved most in harm's way was the key to his control. He had me chasing after legalistic methods of harnessing my sinful self in an attempt to fix his bad behavior because I believed I was causing it.
None of this was accidental. It was the thrill.
These events were the culmination of a carefully crafted six-month grooming process. I was hunted like an animal, lured with the promise of a dad I needed, and then slaughtered when the time was right.
When I was 17, the widow of the founding pastor of our church died after lightning set her house on fire. I thought i killed her. I believed her death was a result of my sin.
When I was 18, I began starving myself to cope with overwhelming feelings I had no outlet for because I was isolated in secrecy, fear, and confusion.
When I left for college at 19 in search of freedom, I weighed only 87 pounds.
When his behavior was exposed the following year, he lied and mischaracterized me, ripping from me any support structure I might have had for recovery. I was church disciplined, and the idea that I was to blame was cemented as his sins were laid on my back and I was run off--an unprotected scapegoat.
The stress of that rejection caused me to miscarry my child, and I almost took my own life that summer after a plea to be institutionalized for safety was weaponized and exploded in my face.
And more religious men joined in the chorus of blame.
I've lived the intervening years 800 miles from home under a blanket of shame believing that just by existing I had broken the pastor, destroyed a church, hurt hundreds of people, and killed three more because I was simply unable to comprehend that someone who represented God would hurt me on purpose and then blame me to save himself.
In 2019 before I was even aware I had legal recourse, I made two emotional private unrecorded requests for the answer to the question, "why me?" My soul and clearly stated intention was to heal as quietly as I'd been suffering before my past destroyed my children and my marriage. But even with so much hanging in the balance for me, he stayed the course of dishonesty and the manufactured goodness he's cultivated over a lifetime for the purpose of deception. The pathetic apology I eked out of him a few months later to facilitate his arrest was simply a chess move--one he hoped would guilt me back into silence.
But even broken little girls grow up, learn the rules of the games our abusers play, and develop the courage to hold them accountable and to protect others.
The defense today will likely be a smoke screen of remorse and changed behavior. But the reality is this every single morning of the last 20 years, Mr. Weaver has woken with the power to speak the truth, correct my reputation, and grant me the freedom of knowing I was never to blame. Yet every single morning of the last 20 years he has put his feet on the floor and made the choice to continue in this very public lie at my expense.
This plea has never been about accepting responsibility but like every move before it, it's simply a charade designed to arrange the best possible outcome for himself--everyone else be damned! See, the law is blind to the real issues at play here and as such it is allowing the defense to both ask and answer the wrong questions. Instead of asking "why now after all this time?" I think a more appropriate question would be: If Mr. Weaver is so righteous, repentant, and reformed, why did it ever have to come to this?
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