i know you’ve been chasing after so many what if’s— what if you choose wrong? what if you can’t choose right? i’ve never once judged you for being you, not once, why start now? we’re all stuck here and left to our own devices. i know you have a hard time falling to sleep, your mind is a steady engine, but sometimes you’re just afraid of the nightmares. waking up alone and falling asleep alone has never been strangers for you, one and the same, you’d say. it doesn’t have to be today, you don’t have to solve everything in one day. take it one step at a time, take your time. all of your worst fears are just that— they are fears. what does it mean to love? i have contemplated that single most important question my whole entire existence. what does it mean to provide love? to give out love? to receive love? to know love? to ask for something unconditional, but to only be forgetten in two day— even leaves take longer to change with the seasons. even flowers take longer to die once plucked. how do you want to be loved? i asked you what you loved most about yourself and you said your smile. that has to be it. enough sun for the roses, enough love for yourself. of course smiling has to be it, a signal for greater things. our happiness represented with teeth and curves— we are just tiny moments inside of even tinier moments, a single burst of energy, sitting outside in the rain for a little reprieve. you don’t need to be perfect to ask for love, so just ask for it. you don’t need to have your shit together immediately, it takes time to make time for your time to be your time. you don’t need to be anything but yourself. inside of your brain, inside of your heart, inside of your own body— what are you really afraid of? being alone does sound sad, but you really aren’t that alone. a need to be needed, a want to be wanted by someone who doesn’t deserve us at our best if they can’t handle us at our worst. i know you’re just trying to make sense of the rain as of late, but bees don’t compare rose petals to tulip petals— they’re all one and the same. the sun doesn’t choose to shine on things, it just does. it just does these things. an overbearing presence, it doesn’t choose to be warm, it just is. how do you want to be loved? hold that answer deep inside of your chest and let it blossom and bloom. because whatever you decide to come to terms with, i’ll always be here for you. i don’t know why you trust me so much, but i think it’s simply because you just know. if you can know that much about me, you can know that much about yourself, and you can know that about him or her or them. trust your intuition, trust yourself and all of your decisions. your word should always be as good as gold because without that, you’ll have nothing and you have never been that to me. always trust yourself. there is no in between, you either do, or you don’t. choose wisely and let your day do the rest. i love you. even if you’re at fault or believe that you’re a terrible person. you will carry with you the might of your beliefs and joys. don’t be afraid to be yourself. you gotta love yourself.