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#pt 12
sidesinwonderland · 1 year
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Epilogue
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djblacklight · 2 months
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Pt 12
Murder drone:hi Dj
Dj:hi
Zombie drone:hugs Dj
Dj:hehehe hugs zombie drone back
Zombie drone:I’m bored
Dj:let’s play hide-n-seek
Zombie drone:ok *hides*
Murder drone:*hides*
Dj:here i com-
Person:grabs Dj and knocks him out
Dj:ack
Person:kills Dj and breaks him
Dj:ahh *dies*
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July 23. 2023
Fuck.
Im fucked aren't I?
Cause now its not about me wanting you, that has always been the case, the problem is that now you are not afraid of telling me you want me too.
"im yours" you said in a whisper, unprompted, as if you just had to say it, as if you had to tell someone. I stopped talking, because of course, what else are you supposed to do when you are taking with your ex who moved to another state, whom you still have feelings for and the reason you broke up is because he refused to communicate with you, talk about his feelings and try a long distance relationship?
So yeah, when we are treating each other like we're dating, but we're not dating, making daily phone calls, reading a book together, telling each other we miss our touch, planning visits and vacations, but still, not dating, just friends.
When that happens and you suddenly whisper: "Im yours, just yours, entirely yours", well, i was rather shoked.
It felt like i got frozen on my place, as if i could no longer breathe, because, Why? Why would you say that? Why would you tap into my roots? Into my core?
Mine? You are mine? Are you mine?
There was such desperation in your voice, longing and aching, as if it was a question.
"im yours?" It could've been, as if you wanted me to say it for you, that you were mine.
But no, there was no doubt in your voice
"Im yours" it sounded like a wish, like a plea, like begging.
"Yes" i said after a while "I know" i told you, trying to convince myself more than you.
"im yours, im entirely yours, i am only yours" you continued "i want this to work"
"The calls?" I asked, unsure
"this" you said "us" you added "i want us to work, if we dont, its going to destroy me" you whispered
Me? Destroying you? Us? Working out? Trying?
Im the one who should be afraid, im the one who should be afraid of continuing loving a person who has broke me 2 times already
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Peeta: I need advice.
Haymitch: with what?
Peeta: Love. How did you find out you were in love with Effie?
Haymitch: ...
Haymitch: I'm in love with Effie?
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santa claus is comin down your chimney tonight
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12 Days of Christmas Day 05 - Naughty VS Nice
2455 words.
“Come on," he whines. "It’s the last night!" 
"You’re back on tour in the New Year," Britt rolls her eyes. 
Squeezing his arms around her waist a little tighter, he nuzzles his face into her neck. The sounds of the other band members in the green room fade away as he smells the perfume he bought for her birthday spritzed along the column of her throat. 
He’s been feeling exhausted in the last few weeks of their tour, but tonight in New York, playing a sold-out show in Madison Square Garden, with Brittany Jackson standing side stage looking as good as she does? Yeah, he’s feeling pretty alive. 
"Then why are you wearing this sexy little number?" 
He can feel how she pulls air into her lungs to let out a laugh through the form-fitting red dress she’s wearing. It’s short, showing off her tan legs that he knows are fake because the white bed sheets in his hotel room were stained with the solution, and her collarbones are exposed. She looks like a Christmas treat that he’s going to enjoy unwrapping later. 
"Please?" He begs. "Just come out for one song! I’ve been a good boy all year!" 
She laughs again, throwing her head back against his shoulder. 
"We’ll have to ask Mr. Claus if you’ve made it onto the nice list." She points to George drinking in the corner of the room with a Santa hat perched on the top of his head and his arm slung around Charli’s shoulders. 
"This could be my Christmas present?" He attempts to convince her one final time. 
They’ve already decided they aren’t doing gifts for each other this year since they always try to outdo one another. She thinks the holiday has become less fun since they stress themselves out about the presents all December long; he thinks she’s just a sore loser because he won last year. 
(He didn’t even do anything crazy? She told him about some Barbie doll that she’d always wanted when she was little, and he found it on eBay for barely 60 quid. She’d sucked his dick as if he’d given her a bloody million pounds and afterwards thanked him for always listening to her.) 
A stagehand knocks on the door and gives everyone their five-minute warning. Some of the band clear the room, heading side stage already; others mill about, cleaning up the mess from their show pre-party. Matty swings Brittany around, slanting his mouth over hers and sliding a hand up her dress to squeeze at her ass. As her arms weave around his shoulders like vines, she moans none too quietly, and a few whistles are let out from their captive audience. 
He pulls away with a smirk, and she wipes the red lipstick off his face. 
"Oh, Matty Healy, you’re definitely on the naughty list this year." 
~~~ 
He gets his Christmas wish partway through the show when he can’t find his cigarettes. He calls for someone on the side of the stage to bring him a new deck and instead, his girlfriend appears holding a cigar box in one hand and a familiar lighter in another. The crowd goes insane at the sight of her slinking towards him, and he can’t even stop the sleazy grin covering his face. 
"Madison Square Garden, say hello to Brittany Jackson," he croons into the microphone. 
The arena fires up ferociously, and he steps away from the stand to accept a cigar from the box she’s holding out to him. He lets her light it for him, holding her wrist steady in one hand and shooting her a wink when the flame finally ignites the end. He inhales quickly, blowing smoke out through his nose and grabbing her waist before kissing her roughly. 
He can feel the wires of her in-ear monitors running down her spine into the pack secured at the back of her dress, and now he’s suspicious. The crowd is still losing their minds, and as he pulls away from her lips, he notices members of her band are now also on the stage with them. There are drinks being poured, and even with twenty thousand people screaming, he can still hear George’s giggles and Ross’ booming laughter. 
"What are you up to?" he questions, but she does nothing but grin. 
Then the drums start, and she snatches the microphone. 
~~~ 
Her body collides into the dressing room door and her breath hitches when Matty pulls her legs high around his waist. His hips grind against her core, and she can feel exactly how turned on he is, making her feel crazy. Her head falls back as his lips move over her neck and she reaches down to the handle beneath her thighs, but the material of her dress is in the way. The hallway isn’t remotely quiet, there are what feels like a million people still milling about after the show, and the crew are still packing up the last of the stage. 
“Matty” She gasps. He grunts against her collarbones as his hands slide under her skirt and she shivers when his fingers come close to exactly where she needs him.  
“Take me inside.” she manages to moan out when his thumbs hook into the lace around her hips and he finally realizes they’re still out in the open. 
He pulls out a hand from her underwear and sharply turns the handle, allowing them to sloppily fall inside. She’s reminded of how often he’s been working out while he’s been away on tour because he doesn’t fumble her at all, keeping one steady arm wrapped around her as he blindly navigates them through the room. He drops her onto the vanity, and she pulls at his tie while using one of her heels to dig into his back and keep him close. 
She knew what wearing this dress would do to him and honestly, she only wore it because she wanted the night to end exactly like this. Him, with blown pupils and messy hair from where her fingers tousled through it and her taking everything he could give. He bites her neck, and she gasps as his tongue soothes the red skin. Heat floods her cheeks, and his hands squeeze at her waist, her thighs, her hips. It’s heaven. 
As she arches her back, her dress slips down her chest, exposing her breasts and Matty feasts on the new parts of her that are no longer obstructed by the tight material of her outfit. She attempts to get him out of his shirt, undoing the top few buttons of his collared shirt before pulling it from his pants and over his head. There’s still a thin layer of sweat across his shoulders from the show he just played and the muscles in his back ripple beneath her fingers as they trail down his spine, pulling him closer. 
She needs more. More skin, more of the way he smells, more of the way he makes her feel dizzy with every touch and if he doesn’t take his pants off right now though, she’s going to lose it. His hands roughly pull her underwear down her thighs, and she feels like she’s practically purring with anticipation. 
“God,” Matty moans as his fingers slip between her folds. “Need you.” 
A digit slowly sinks into her, and she pulls his face back to hers so she can slip her tongue into his mouth. She loves kissing him, sometimes it's all she wants to do, just make out with him all day long. It makes her feel like she’s 15 with her first boyfriend and everything is new for the first time, the fumbling hands and gasping mouths as they try to devour one another. 
“You have me.” She melts, biting his lip as a second finger makes its way to join the first. 
His thumb circles her clit and cries out against his neck, while she grips the wrist of the hand making her come undone. She can feel the tendons shift beneath his skin as his fingers work her over and her other hand sloppily pulls at his trousers, desperate for the material to slip through the button and the zipper to come down. He’s straining against his pants, the fabric pulled tight across him, and she wants to make him feel good too. 
Matty seems to be taking her inability to think straight as a challenge because he speeds up, his thumb adding more pressure to the tight circles he was drawing on her most sensitive parts and his other hand pulling at her hardened nipples. He bites at her neck and her eyes close as more shivers run down her body. She knows this game, he wants to get her off first so when she’s still coming down from the highs he’s soared her too, he can slip inside her and fuck her stupid. It’s some kind of game he plays where he declares himself the winner every time. (She doesn’t really give a fuck because if losing means that she gets fucked multiple times in one night by her hot, rockstar boyfriend, then she’s alright with being a loser.) 
By the time his pants hit the floor, and she’s finally palming his hard cock over his underwear, Matty is pulling the first orgasm of the night from her. It comes on quick, the tension building in her core more and more until stars appear in her vision and she can’t do anything but scream his name and hitch her thigh higher up his hip.  
She falls back against the wall with a satisfied smile and Matty pokes her cheek with a laugh, using the thumb he’d just sucked clean. She grabs his wrist, dragging his hand to her mouth and pulling the two remaining wet fingers into her mouth. His eyes widen in surprise, and she moans around the tangy taste of herself, her tongue stroking over the digits and hollowing her cheeks as she sucked. 
His fingers pop free from her lips, a string of saliva keeping them connected before his hand holds her throat and he presses his hips against her again. They both push down his underwear hastily, and Matty swipes the head of his cock through her folds, gathering up the wetness before nudging into her entrance. He inches in, taking his time and feeling her pulse race beneath his fingers. 
“So fucking good,” she cries when he finally bottoms out. 
She knows by the tightening of his hand and the feral smile covering his face that she’s in for it. He licks his lips before he starts moving, drawing out slowly before pumping back in quickly. Her head throws back, and she whines with every thrust. Matty hooks an arm under one of her legs and the slight change in position makes her start to cry out louder. 
“Don’t stop,” she begs, sweat beginning to build on her forehead. “Please don’t fucking stop.” 
“You’ve got a mouth on you tonight.” He grunts, pushing her leg up onto his shoulder. “Maybe we’re both on the naughty list.” 
She bites back the retort she wants to spit at him, but she can’t think of anything good to say because there's nothing going on inside her head except praises for him and how amazing he’s making her feel. His hips keep rutting into her with abandon and she brushes the curls back that are falling in his eyes, pulling on the ends gently and his eyes close. 
He’s close, she can feel it with how his cock is beginning to swell inside her and his stomach is tightening. Moving a hand down her body, she pushes the skirt of her dress out of the way and starts circling her clit so she can fall over the edge with him. Matty grunts, snapping his hips harder and slapping her hand away, replacing it with his own. His fingers generously roll over the bud and she’s suddenly a lot closer than she realized. 
The only sounds in the room as their skin slapping together and her high-pitched moans that he buries with his mouth. She knows she’s being too loud and that anyone walking by could probably hear them, but she seriously can’t stop. He’s too fucking good at this and he’s told her that she’s also the best he’s ever had. 
(She never used to believe him because she’s heard the rumors about what he and George used to get up to back in the day, but when he’d drunk too much at an awards show after party, he told their entire table his top three sexual experiences, and they were all her.) 
(Funnily enough, all their times in the alleyways outside of pubs didn’t make the cut. Sappy motherfucker included one of the times they had makeup sex though and the women around them had loved that.) 
“I’m close,” he grunts, grabbing at her breasts and nipping at her jaw. 
She nods and can’t even get the words out because inside she’s exploding. It feels like lightning striking her in the best way possible and it only grows as Matty bursts inside her with a low moan against her collarbones. He bucks in and out until he’s got nothing left to give and she can feel his cum inside of her. It feels dirty and sexy and like she’s drunk. Her whole body tingles and he pants against her shoulder roughly, hot breath fanning across her skin. 
Matty slowly drops her leg from his shoulder, massaging the back of her thigh roughly and slipping his tongue back into her mouth. She holds his cheeks between her hands and doesn’t want to let him go. She wants to stay right there in that moment with him forever, covered in each other's sweat, his cum slipping out of her and her lips swollen from where he’s bitten them. 
She whines when he pulls out and he wipes between her legs using her underwear, squirming uncomfortably when he brushes the lace over her clit. He steps out of his trousers, pulling his own underwear free and sliding them up her legs instead. Using his shoulders for leverage, she lifts herself up so he can secure the boxer briefs over her hips. She pulls her dress back up her torso, brushing her hands down the satin to smooth out the wrinkles. 
Matty pulls his clothes back on, carefully doing up the zip and button across his crotch before pocketing her discarded underwear. She flushes when he winks at her as he buttons up his shirt, tucking the tails into his pants before throwing his jacket over her shoulders and pulling her out of the room. 
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b-ll-cks · 2 months
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Conceptualization [Hard: Success] - floppy dog ears
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pzyii · 4 months
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BTVS + Text posts pt 2
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Pt 1, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5, pt 6, pt 7, pt 8, pt 9
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tequiilasunriise · 9 months
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Annabel Lee & Fears: A Short Essay Based On Ep70
Here it is, folks, the truest crux of Annabel’s character, her deepest fears is not going mad or even people discovering she’s not as put together as she tries to appear, but rather:
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Was that gambit of constant scheming and using others worth it, Annabel? Was always trying to think ten steps ahead and always keep yourself in a position of power and control truly worth it, because how can you ever be trusted when all you do is play 5D chess with everyone?
There is is, folks!!! Just like her greatest strength- her cunning willpower- is centered around a certain bright moon, Annabel’s greatest fear is rooted in Lenore. The deepest, darkest trenches of her soul, the one thing that would shatter her heart and send her lungs choking fer breath? The killing blow that would end her and make all these charades worthless? It’s Lenore seeing her constant conniving and asking Annabel, “Why would I be any different? You already have no problem using everyone else as a pawn, how could I ever possibly trust you, Annabel Lee?”
The way Annabel is SUCH a great morally grey character, y’all tell me you love hot villains yet many a time I’ve seen people calling Annabel too heartless. She’s the opposite! She cares!! SO MUCH!!! She would burn the world down if it meant kissing Lenore one last time, to the point where her deepest fear is losing Lenore in the process of trying to protect her. All Annabel knows is using manipulation to gain the upper hand because simply being born a woman in the Victorian era she was so throughly disadvantaged by such a horribly misogynistic society that girlypop had to scrape together any form of control she could. Annabel wants so badly to protect Lenore but all she knows are her own methods of protecting herself, which involves plausibility deniability and facades and sometimes sheer cruelty, and that’s where the conflict arises. From the start Annabel assumed Lenore and her had the same understanding of this ‘fake enemies’ ploy going on but surprise surprise babygirl, not everyone is overthinking four parallel universes ahead like you do. This boils over into her lover having doubts on what’s real and what’s not, which then culminates into Lenore asking if Annabel is using her affections as empty currency to get what she wants, and Annabel’s first move to tell Lenore to fucken kill her????
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“To you alone, I have left myself completely defenseless.”
The drama of it all!! The shattered facade leading to exploding vulnerability of it all!! The dim sun sparking out into a heat death just to prove her sincerity of it all!!! The exposed innermost organs ripping out my heart with my bare hands and begging you, “Do you see it now? Do you see the way it beats for you and only you? Tell me you see it, tell me you see me…” of it all!!
Oh baby the way Annabel still retains this deep fear of Lenore not truly believing in the “only thing that’s real” to her, the way her lover’s ghost still lingers and haunts her and is then ripped up from her innermost psyche like a desecrated grave and given form by Ada’s power. The way, after all this time- and I mean all this time from Lenore’s constructed resurrection, to their relationship blossoming into a wedding, all the fucking way up to that bell tower scene, the fucken way Annabel still never truly let go of her fear that Lenore doesn’t see her, doesn’t see how she alone bashed through all of Annabel’s walls and made a home where her heart laid. I’m sure during their living relationship all the way until the wedding Annabel’s fears were greatly settled, but it’s the fucken way these panels implied that this wretched heartache never completely left Annabel’s guilt-wracked soul.
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I just know, okay I just KNOW, that even up until she was putting her wedding dress on Annabel still questioned if she even deserved this happy ending because she still feel phantoms of guilt fer this betrayal. This comic only furthers this implication of unabsolved guilt when it’s made clear as day that Annabel’s biggest fear is Lenore not believing in her love. And before anyone argues how Annabel can currently feel guilt fer betraying Lenore when she hasn’t recovered the memory yet, I’ll argue back that from the very beginning of the comic these two were inexplicably drawn to each other even when they had NO memories. Therefore, even if she doesn’t have the explicit memory, I highly doubt Annabel’s subconscious would ever let go of something as huge as deeply hurting the one person she truly cared about in such a wretched way.
Fuck, dude, I mean Annabel’s greatest fear wasn’t even Lenore dying- which was already a huge thing if y’all remember her tearstreaked, panicked, “What is left? If she’s not here, what’s the point?”- no her greatest is Lenore!!! Not!!! Believing!! Her!!! Like yeah losing Lenore physically definitely would’ve cut so deep even her bones would bear the scars, but losing Lenore in the form of the other woman walking the same ground as her but choosing to stay away?? Call her fucking selfish because some people would rather have their other half still be alive even if they’re not by their side, but Annabel ain’t one of them that’s fer sure. Babygirl has spent a lifetime perfecting the craft of deceiving others fer her own gain, but the ONE TIME she’s genuine her heart is to be called nothing more but empty??? Oh babbyyy that’s gotta fucken hurt.
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The thing is, I don’t think Annabel really loves herself all that much. I really don’t. A huge focus on self-preservation doesn’t necessarily mean one really loves themselves, and when we add the aforementioned guilt she carries? Plus, the fact that Annabel being forced to swallow down her anxiety attacks from a young age could easily lead to her having a rather sour view of her 'not normal' self? Yeah no yeah, I truly don’t think Annabel loves herself that much, if at all. So really, this line is adding immense insult to already grievous injury. Not only does Annabel deeply fear Lenore not believing her affections to be true, she also fears the New Yorker misconstruing her as nothing more but a shallow as hell, prissy, little pampered damsel, a role pretty much everyone else regulates her into whether she wants it or not (right from the beginning, before she even set her schemes in full effect, Annabel was already explaining, “Ada wanted a queen, so I gave her one”). Lenore, the only one Annabel had believed to ever really see her fer her, is now discrediting Annabel’s vulnerable affections AND seeing her as that unloving ice queen like everyone else?? Horrible terrible horrible!!! She may have a ribbon threatening to strangle her right now, but it’s clear that ghost!Lenore’s words are what truly cut her down to size. Y’all seeing that fucken pain in Annabel’s eyes? Her worst fear is just so… personal.
Which actually leads me to my next point, which is how just before Annabel’s worst fear is revealed in stark, horrifying detail, we see Prospero’s. Lemme just preface this by saying what Prospero went through is n o t any less terrible and is a super fucken mega valid fear/trauma, but let me cook y’all just hear me out. Prospero’s fear seems to be about medical malpractice and/or being conscious during a painful operation that likely went south (aka ‘oh shiiitttt he fucken DEAD-‘), and that’s fucking tragic as all hell. Yet, okay let me cook here, it’s more… I don’t want to say general, because that does NOT mean his fear is any less significant but it’s like. Way back when, death via medical bullshit was more or less fairly common, especially during wartimes (which is the era I headcanon Prospero to be from); meanwhile, Annabel’s fear is so uniquely hers, it’s borne of a culmination of specific experiences tied together by her relationship with Lenore.
By contrast of a more common fear vs something so deeply personal and specific to this one person- because it’s not just unrequited love, it’s being so vehemently denied and misunderstood by the ONE (1!) person who you wholeheartedly trusted in your entire life who also oops mega died on you- this distinction gives way to an almost more raw, more visceral feeling to Annabel’s fear sequence. Again!!! I am not undermining Prospero’s own trauma, I promise!!! But you have to admit that there’s something, from a narrative standpoint, that hits so much harder with how deeply personal Annabel’s fear is. The contrast is even more great when you look at how Prospero’s involved a buncha bloodied hands not really tied to any faces or even any indication of personhood like accessories, scars, etc etc. It could’ve been a group of anyone holding him down hurting him; on the flipside, Annabel is being restrained by one very specific person we see in full view. The faceless crowd who could’ve been anyone at anytime vs the lone perpetrator whose history you know like a second name. It’s just!!! So personal!!!
In conclusion, on the surface level, one would think a character so deeply ingrained in using deceptions and manipulation would have her greatest fear tie into having her true nature revealed to everyone she’d fooled, but then it turns out it’s the complete fucking opposite. What homegirl fears the most is her truest, innermost self not being believed and accepted by just one (1!) person. The way it’s framed is just so heartstabbingly personal, especially when you parallel it to a previous fear sequence just a few panels preceding it. This is it, your honor, this is Annabel’s deepest driving force broken down to its bare essentials. To hell with whatever reputation she’s carefully crafted! Who cares what anyone else thinks of her if she doesn’t believe her, if she doesn’t SEE her. Really, truly see her. Lenore is the defining point that Annabel has revolves around so wholeheartedly, and there’s no point to anything anymore if Annabel loses her. This crux of her character, OHHH BBAAABBYY it’s just so well done because we, as the audience, have been given clear evidence to build up this narrative of Annabel’s characterization fer so long now and to finally see it come together in a fiery explosion of lesbian angst with this latest chapter??? Gods, the writing of Nevermore will never not drive me absolutely insane in the membrane.
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granlance · 1 year
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AKT 12: Schwanensee
"I won't give up. These emotions are truly mine"
A stage given by a sadistic ghost, a captive prince, a fallen knight and two princesses dancing like swans upon the underground lake. 🌊🦢
In this swan lake the ballerinas voice their feelings through dance
Starring:
Two traumatized swans
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A drowning knight
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And the eldritch entity that will possess your mind and body- I mean, a shard of the prince’s heart
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buttfrovski · 5 months
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wrote down matt and trey's names in a college essay and got full body chills
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jtl-fics · 9 months
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New kings please!
WIP Wednesday (Closed) | New Kings AU
"What did you do." Andrew hisses.
"I...well...Arizona isn't that far from California and I just...Andrew I couldn't let him continue breathing air." Neil says and it says something about Wymack's life that one of his players just admitted to cold blooded and calculated murder and his first thought is that he hopes Neil cleaned up after himself properly.
His second thought is to look at Andrew.
Andrew's face looked like it was drained of every inch of blood and his shock was so evident that it seemed like it cut through the drugs still in his system.
"What did he do?" Andrew asks and Wymack has only heard Andrew sound like this a grand total of four times.
Andrew sounds scared.
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sidesinwonderland · 1 year
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Fin
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It's Wednesday my dudes! I have a lot of projects floating around so I wanted to consolidate most of them in one long post. Not included is my Evenstar (because I just posted a photo yesterday), and a couple experimental unfinished pieces I don't know if I will finish.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Doily 14 (Yarn | Pattern)
Chugging along with this guy. I'm on row 83 out of 111 and just about to hit the second colour change. At this point it's mainly stockinette so the rows are going pretty fast for how long they are.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Blanket 12 (Yarn)
Slow prog on this blanket since I only work on it when I'm in bed or on the couch. But since it won't be cold enough to need this until next year I'm quite fine with that. I also think it's probably too wide but I'm not redoing it.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ ???Mystery Top??? (Yarn)
Started this on a whim to play with sweater construction and now I do like two rows every couple days. I do want to eventually finish it but it's quite boring. Maybe I'll add some plain stockinette rows in just to make faster.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Shawl 15 (various colourways of Knitpicks Hawthorn)
This shawl is Haunting me. It's so pretty but extremely boring to knit and extremely slow going. Plus it's taking up two sets of needles. But it's so prettttyyyy. Eventually I'll come up with a plan to finish it but until then it lives in shame.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Shawl 11 (Yarn 1 | Yarn 2 | Pattern)
The first of my two "doctor's appointment" projects. I haven't really been knitting too much in the waiting room because of how bad my back is so he's barely different looking. I've been tempted recently to frog this and restart with either a different pattern or just better brioche skills but I haven't been willing to pull the trigger on it yet.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Socks (Knitpicks Wool of the Andes Superwash in Marina and Cobblestone Heather)
The second "doctor's appointment" project. I had enough of this yarn for three pairs of socks but haven't hard the urge to knit any until now. Nice and simple toe up vanilla socks in worsted weight is very relaxing.
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˖⁺‧₊˚✦ Blanket 11 (Yarn 1 | Yarn 2 | Pattern)
Not really that much prog on this, just been super into lace knitting rn. I think this'll be fun to work on outside when the weather is nice which will be Soon.
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kygbrowny · 1 year
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Oookay if you're still doing requests can we get a part 3 to 12:34? I just want to see Jungkook come to the realization and spiral cuz he messed up.
12:34 | jungkook [3]
*thank you so much for liking 12:34 I hope all who requested enjoy 🥹💕*
summary: jungkook sees you at a party two years after he broke up with you
warnings: angst w/ happy ending?, suggestive, drinking, implied smoking, cuddling, apologies, fluff
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˚ · • . ° .
the music seemed to halt, your perfume shifting a few steps behind your stride.
you’d past by him without even noticing. the beer bottle in his hand almost slipping at the way your perfume took his hazy eyes from the bar table.
it couldn’t be, he’d thought shaking off the idea hoping fate couldn’t be this crude. he’d taken a tipsy look at his bottle wondering if he was drunk enough to have imagined you here tonight.
there’s just no way.
ok… so he’d just have to do a double take, so what? he had to know. fuck it! what if it was you? what if fate was playing some sick joke on him the night he’s finally out celebrating his world cup performance?
jungkook’s eyes slowly peered back into the direction he’d imagined you, immediately hooking and tracing the gown that wrapped your silhouette. you were walking toward a table holding hands with one of your girl friends the purest smile on your face… you looked exactly the same yet 10 times better, you moved with more confidence and class than he’d ever experienced through you.
“fuck.” he’d blurted unconsciously swinging his body away from your smile hoping he’d really just seen your ghost.
“shit,” he mumbled this time causing taehyung to furrow his brows beside him.
“fuck,” another curse word had taken him by surprise.
“you okay? you look kind of pale,” taehyung gestured his hands toward the younger’s face, “like you’ve seen a ghost or something…”
“fucking feels like it..”
˚ · • . ° .
once you’d finally heard what your friend was yelling in your ear over the music, you immediately went still your hands going to your lips in shock. you couldn’t even bring yourself to move, she thought she saw who?!
your date’s arms wrapped around your waist jolting you back to reality. he leaned down to your ear, worry lacing his words, “are you okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost…”
“no, I mean yes, sorry I’m fine! just a bit light-“ your eyes failed you as they wondered to the bar where your friend said they thought they saw— but they couldn’t have? he couldn’t be.
“light headed?” he’d finished for you, watching your eyes slowly widen in the direction of the bar that looked lightly guarded by security for some reason. he looked back at you puzzled, not liking that your attention was elsewhere.
“y-yes, sorry could you give me one second I think I left s-something in the car, I-” you needed to escape. you could feel your words cutting short from the anxiety shooting into your lungs like a drug at the way your mind did mental gymnastics with memories of your ex.
“wait I’ll go with you,” he pleaded, arms linking back into your own a bit too tightly causing your brows to furrow.
taehyung’s eyes squinted at the scene playing out in front of him before nudging at jungkook. he’d finally grasped the situation at hand watching you on the hand of a taller guy nearly in the middle of the club.
“no,” you tugged softly forcing a smile, “please stay, ill only be a moment..” sending a pointed look at your friend she caught the hint proceeding to ask your date to buy you all drinks or something allowing you to make your way out of the club.
“holy shit, isn’t that-“ taehyung jumped startled at jungkook striking up from his stool and going straight to whisper something into the ear of one of his security guards.
“I fucking knew it, jimin owes me 500,000 won!” taehyung laughed watching jungkook jog after your fleeting form like a lovesick puppy.
finally escaping the warm space you held back a cough from how out of breath you were, “fuck, I knew I shouldn’t have come tonight…” you tried curtly to calm your breathing hoping it would calm down soon as you did want to enjoy the night with your friends, just maybe at a different club…
jungkook peeked his head cutely out the club door, watching you lean softly onto a railing trying to catch your breath. shit why did he follow you out here? he’s probably the reason you look so anxious… fuck it
jungkook had taken the sharpest inhale before mustering up a shaky, “um hey.”
you felt your breath get caught in your throat at his voice, watching the way your eyes widened along with his as you both finally made eye contact. he hesitantly watched your expression, was he annoying you? did you hate seeing him?
“h-hi.” you stuttered, eyes tinged red you’d both been smoking tonight, he’d assumed.
“you look great,” he’d blurted honestly not really knowing what else to say, “by the way.”
the little black dress looked great on you, he couldn’t imagine a more flattering gown for your figure.
watching the familiar surprise spark in your eye, his heart skipped a beat, this was gonna be hard. no, seeing you here is hard, he can barely take his eyes off you.
“thank you, so do you,” was your genius response because what else do you say to your superstar ex boyfriend. seeing him is hard, really fucking hard.
“congrats on the world cup, I’m happy for you.” you’d complimented finding it weird to admit you’d watched it.
“thanks that means alot,” he smiled licking his lips, lightly tugging a bit at the lower, images flashing of pillow talks about your future together. you cringed.
the air grew more awkward, hearts ablaze with feelings and thoughts of the past.
“who are you here with?” he pried immediately regretting his decision watching you choose your words wisely as to not hurt his feelings, this was the you he remembered… not the same person who ripped his heart out outside her apartment door.
“oh, just friends,” your eyes averted his own, “you?”
“oh um just taehyung…” he nodded sulking a bit at the thought of whoever had their arms around you earlier.
“i’m sorry if this is awkward, I can leave you alone I just saw you come out here and you looked anxious and its stupid but I have a joint in my car and I know how your anxiety gets…” fuck he must sound like an idiot, you obviously never wanted to see him again and here he was inviting you to smoke in his car?? idiot!
your cheeks burned, lips slightly apart in shock. and you hesitated with your answer, lips closing and opening slightly in thought.
he’d honestly be lying if he said he wasn’t trying to spend more time with you, he hadn’t seen you in two fucking years. he wouldn’t let his ego and insecurities leave him with regrets after the universe brought you to him again…
“ok,” you’d responded shocking the both of you.
jungkook shyly brought his arms to ruffle his hair looking away while avoiding eye contact with you, ears growing red. you rolled your eyes failing miserably at holding back a laugh at the ridiculous turn of events.
you both let out a giggle at the childish like reactions from the both of you, you finally felt able to bring air back into your lungs.
˚ · • . ° .
you knew you’d end up like this, after smoking with jungkook it always ended up like this.
did he do this on purpose? was this his plan all along? jungkook was so fucking sly at times… you hated that you could care less right now.
“this is my favorite shirt,” you mumbled a soft apology hands slipping past the buttons so quickly it seemed impossible the fabric didn’t rip.
softly gasping against his lips, slowly you both got lost further in the drivers seat of the sports car. hands tangled in his hair, eyes shut feeling his kisses trail from your lips, to your jaw, to your neck, back to your lips.
intoxicating, tears immediately burned your eyes. you’re sensitive you always have been, to his touch. no one could make you this emotional and it still drives you crazy.
almost on instinct he was kissing the tears away. “just like old times,” he’d hummed causing you to swoon melting into his kisses.
“please I,” you tried but couldn’t finish as his hands was already under your dress.
“just friends huh?” jungkook scoffed after feeling you weren’t wearing any underwear.
“you used to do that only for me.” you felt dizzy after he said that, slowly remembering why exactly that was, why you shouldn’t be in this car with him right now…
you’d paused, “that was before…”
he noticed you get uncomfortable and seemed displeased by your response shoulders tensing, his grip on your straddling thighs tightening.
“m sorry but it’s true.” pushing your hands against his chest, eyes avoidant at his change of demeanor. you really didn’t want to have this talk with him tonight.
looking up at him you watched his expressions waver from annoyance to something almost sad.
reaching up softly after hesitating your hand touched at his cheek, you flinched slightly when he almost audibly sighed into your touch.
“sorry! fuck I don’t know why—“
“fuck, no, wait— yes I do, I-Ive missed you so much, Ive missed us—“
“come on please jungkook not this, not now—“ you began to unstraddle yourself from him, letting out a huff when he gripped you back into place softly.
jungkook pressed his forehead onto yours, bangs tickling your forehead causing you to glare up cutely at his stare. slowly he brought your hand that earlier held his cheek and placed it over his chest.
“honestly I don’t know what to say when it comes to you,” he started when your breathing had slowed down a bit.
“it feels like everytime I open my mouth you hate me more and more..”
“touching you now and having my heart beat out of my chest knowing I might never get to see you this close again, makes me want to tell you everything…” he closed his eyes and for the first time in years you felt like you saw someone else flash before you.
“I know this probably sounds so fucking stupid beacuse i’m your ex and we were literally just about to have sex but I’m so sorry, I was an immature idiot when we broke up because you always had such horrible things to say about me and I couldn’t do anything but get upset and gaslight you…”
“I don’t expect you to forgive me and I didn’t ask you to smoke with me because I had alternative motives… from the moment I saw you tonight I wanted to find a way to talk to you, start a conversation and spend more time with you… but I can’t do that knowing how much anxiety and pain this still brings us, the both of us…”
you were quiet, it was alot to process and all so new to you especially a jungkook that apologizes and tells you what he’s thinking.
“I’ve missed you too.“ you decided to admit, you were too high to hold back your emotions at the moment anyway.
“I should have been less vindictive with you that day. I brought up past arguments you apologized for to hurt you—“
“no you did nothing wrong… you only reacted off of my negative energy,” he shook his head, “you turned so cold after all we endured together and apart because of my immature self and I regret not treating you and our connection with more respect because you deserved that.”
“to this day i’ve never met someone who loves loved me like you did and gave me so much grace and happiness in my darkest times and i’m sorry its taken me so long to tell you this…”
“thank you, really,” you couldn’t help but smile, closure you thought you’d never get or ever needed.
“I never thought the day where I could apologize and be honest with you would come…” he’d furrowed his brows adorably, you might add, shaking his head softly against your own.
“me neither,” you’d whispered out jokingly but you both knew you were being honest.
“oh shit, you know what i’m missing?” jungkook found himself laughing remembering the day he’d seen you last.
“missing? what do you mean?” your head tilted in confusion.
he had to stupidest smile on his face, “fucking flowers! I always told myself when I finally got to apologize to you i’d make sure I brought you flowers!”
your hands went to cover your face slightly embarrassed by your actions that day, it was one of your biggest regrets… you didn’t regret saying it but you hated the way it came out and the intentions behind your words.
jungkook’s expression held deeply entwined with yours as you peaked from behind your fingers, you both searched for something from the other to confirm or deny something. lingering thoughts being unsaid, unhinged memories with the way you still straddled his lap.
“i’m sorry but is it okay if we don’t….“ you’d trailed off starting to feel a bit anxious.
“yeah yeah of course, strawberries?” he’d asked to confirm your safe word for moments like these causing your breath hitch. he’d remembered…
“thanks,”
“no need,” he smiled widely, arms immediately letting you go allowing you to position yourself however you wanted. you settled on laying a bit cuddled in his lap, your head resting on his exposed chest confirming the thoughts you had before about old tattoos of his being colored in recently.
jungkook chuckled, mentally thanking himself for doing those extra chest sets before he went out tonight.
you on the other hand were spiraling at the domestic situation you found yourself in with your ex.
“jungkook I don’t know I might still need alot of time to—“ you stopped, feeling him lean his head loosely to rest on the top of yours.
“I-I understand but can we stay like this for a little longer?” god being honest with his feelings was going to kill him, he’s sure you could hear his heart beating from your position on his chest.
he felt so warm after he’d let out that line, his neck looking noticeable red from what you could see. he was being genuine you believed, you hoped…
“ok,” you allowed, wondering if the person in front of you now would stay this way or become like how they were before… only time would tell, you assumed.
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aretheyyknow · 8 months
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Season one pardison will always be famous to me
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syinqbudz · 6 months
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i feel like we as a fandom do not talk nearly enough about blobertas "clay puppington. nice to know you" line
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