#ptsd discussion

[redrobin-detective]

My fic writing process

Me: Here is an interesting idea, extrapolating the story's inherent, underutilized worldbuilding and not only acting upon it, but expanding it and making it my own to explore themes and characters I enjoy. Also Me: Ok but also this would be Hilarious

#im not kidding #my major motivation for stories is either: wow I have deep thoughts on this idea and need to put it to paper #or giggling over stupid scenarios #started my lockwood fic and its either deep discussion on PTSD life/death and the trials of child soldier found families #but also Zany As Fuck shenanigans #Holly and Skull are going to have the most lovingly antagonistic relationship #He gets under her skin the way no one else can #Lucy needs to hide Skull at least twice a week because Holly has had Enough and has a Big Hammer #its what she deserves

[moonlit-positivity]

Please stop pathologizing yourself. You're a human being at the end of the day. Getting so hung up over how you handle your symptoms & whether or not you're "right" or "wrong" to act that way? This only induces more shame, guilt, humiliation, and fosters more resentment for your inner self talk.

There is so much talk in recovery spaces about how to be this perfect idealistic vision of health at every possible stage. But that is not realistic at all. People have trauma. People have mental breakdowns. People have anger and rage and people have to live and go through things before you ever really know what to do with some of this stuff, how to handle it, etc.

At the end of the day, finding solace in your diagnosis can be cathartic, of course. But if you're dragging yourself through the mud because of what you've been handed in life and not knowing how to carry that like the Mona Lisa? Thats causing you more harm & distress than you'd think. Your diagnosis can be helpful for clarifying what's going on up there in the spicy brain noodle shop, but to be completely honest that's about it.

Why?

Well, because you're still you. You're still a human through and through. No matter what you've done on this earth, no matter what you were born with, no matter what you've been through- you deserve to rest easy knowing you're doing the best with what life has given you to work with.

So long as you're not trying to hurt anyone? Or if you're trying to be a little bit better than you were yesterday?

There is no need to further drag yourself down because the spicy brain demons don't dance the way society wants them to.

You don't deserve to suffer for the way society frames this shit. That is one of the best things you can learn how to do, is break free from the constant need to pathologize yourself at every nick and turn. Sometimes you just do stuff because you want to, because you like it, because it's helpful and beneficial to how you live. You don't need to put yourself in a straight jacket for that.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #mental health discussion #adhd #autism #stigma #npd #bpd #pathologization #self esteem #self love #self care #mental health discourse #cluster b pds #self diagnosis #neurodivergent #neurospicy

[limeykaa]

I think of Aziraphale everyday (I'm very normal about him) and I've been wondering about his potential breaking point. How many times can our little angel thwart the Will of God, as presented by Heaven, and act directly against Heaven's direct orders, before he cannot make sense of what makes him an angel anymore?

I'm sure he's often thinking of how Crowley was cast out of Heaven for asking questions (allegedly). Meanwhile, for the past 6000 years, Aziraphale has been "fraternizing" with the Enemy, tempted humans in place of Crowley under the Arrangement, felt Things He Shouldn't Be Feeling (because it's forbidden, taboo, and he simply SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO), lied to his hierarchy, enjoyed all types of Hedonistic pleasures, had sinful thoughts at the mere sight of Crowley, QUESTIONED the decisions made by God and Heaven (although not to God's face, but isn't she all-knowing?), acted directly against the Great Plan resulting in Armageddon's massive failure, tricked Heaven and Hell, and basically quit his job at the Heavenly Company™ (before accepting a new one, but let's not talk about that now). (List non exhaustive, we could go on.)

How much more of this can he take before having a massive identity crisis?

It looks like the whole Fallen Angels business was a one time thing that happened after the War in Heaven, and no angel has fallen ever since. Then, that means Aziraphale will never fall, whatever he does, possibly because it's all according to Plan, or simply because God doesn't care anymore.

What does that mean for Aziraphale? What is the point of living up to the angelic values dictated by the Archangels? How long can Aziraphale handle the pressure of being a failure of an angel (according to everything he's always been told)? Our girl has some serious PTSD after all :(

Of course I don't have any answers, but I drew a couple pages on him having a breakdown. I'll probably share them tomorrow.

#Aziraphale is all I can think about #i am considering writing a fic on the topic #but i dont know if i have the skills #good omens #good omens meta #good omens thoughts #Aziraphale #good omens fandom #Aziraphale has PTSD #good omens discussion #On being a good angel

[detentiontrack]

I talk a lot about the amphibia finale episodes, but something they did right was the depiction of PTSD in the Plantars when they were faced with the giant herons.

#their trauma was handled pretty well overall #after the rain makes me cry every time #I just wish they kept this same level when it was time to discuss the trio’s collective PTSD #ESPECIALLY Anne’s #amphibia

[whump-tr0pes]

Honor Bound 6 - 25

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3, Honor Bound 4, Honor Bound 5, and the prequel Vera.

AO3

Masterlist

Contents: PTSD, Ellis is pregnant and also a grumpy asshole, themes of self-harm, Ellis being cringe, past captivity, past child abuse, fucky coping mechanisms around past child abuse, discussion of murder, angst, recovery

~

It kept occurring to Isaac that there really wasn’t much to the town of Laporte. Not the proper downtown area, anyway. There was the general store, the post office that doubled as the gathering space, the clothing and alterations shop, the feed and machinery shop, the tannery, and a few other buildings that Isaac couldn’t deduce the use for just from looking at them. He wondered if some of them had a seasonal use, or if some of them stood empty. The town had the look of a place that had been abandoned for a long time and was only now starting to fill up with people again. Still, it had never been large to begin with – that much was obvious. He could see the entire town at once, glancing down the street. There were so few places to run, to hide, to find cover.

As if Gavin could sense his unease, he nudged Isaac’s shoulder. “You okay?” Gavin murmured.

“Of course,” Isaac said flatly. “Just looking around.” General store, clothing shop, post office. Feed and machine shop, tannery. Right side of the street, left. He tried to tell himself that his eyes were sweeping both sides of the street equally, that he was giving equal attention to each building as he looked around casually for threats.

He tried to tell himself that his eyes weren’t flicking to the door of the post office every few seconds.

Gavin followed Isaac’s gaze with his own and squeezed Isaac’s hand. “I… I don’t need to be in town, Isaac, I just wanted to be outside—”

“No,” Isaac snapped. He bit his tongue, regret flooding him. “I’m sorry. No. It’s alright.”

Gavin held Isaac’s gaze for a long moment. Isaac’s stomach clenched as he realized Gavin’s lips were thin, his grip shaking. “Oh… Gavin, are you--?”

“Just cold,” Gavin huffed. His head fell forward, and Isaac pressed a kiss to his forehead. “But I don’t care. I want to be outside in the sun.”

Isaac blew out a slow breath through his nose and pulled Gavin close to his side, sliding an arm around his waist to support him. “Of course. Of course. Let’s… yeah. Outside.” He glanced up, tilting his face back for the warm rays that pushed away the fall chill.

The door to the post office swung open. Isaac’s head snapped forward. His stomach twisted. Ice choked his veins, and his hand closed around the gun in his waistband.

“Well, if it isn’t bitchboy out of bed at last,” came a voice he recognized. His muscles ached from how hard they were locked, holding him in place.

“Hey, Ellis,” came Gavin’s reply beside him. Isaac blinked, and he was staring at Finn and Ellis as they strolled out of the post office – Ellis looking uneasily at Gavin, and Finn with a concerned look at Isaac.

Isaac numbly released the gun. It remained tucked in his waistband. He hadn’t frozen that badly in years, not since—

Turn the corner. There was a guard there, shocked. Didn’t know Isaac was coming. Reached for his gun. Isaac raised his. Finger tightened on the trigger.

He can’t.

He can’t.

Isaac blinked away sudden tears as Finn and Ellis approached them. “Hey,” he croaked. “Hey, guys,” he tried again, and his voice cooperated this time.

“Hey yourself,” Ellis said with a groan. “Guess who’s got back pain today?” They looked around. “Oh? Just me? Thank god, whenever I ask that around Vera or Gray they never let me hear the end of it.”

“How are you two?” Finn asked, but they were looking only at Isaac. “Were you, um… expecting someone else? Edrissa doesn’t come into town, not without—”

“We weren’t… expecting Edrissa,” Isaac said weakly. The fresh cuts on his arms itched. The unbroken skin between them itched more.

Finn’s eyes narrowed. “Then… why…?”

“How’re you feeling, your highness?” Ellis said with another less-than-gentle nudge to Gavin. “You’re up, which is… more than I was expecting, actually.” They let out a laugh with a slightly manic edge that finally broke through the fog in Isaac’s mind.

He blinked. “Jesus, Ellis. You haven’t called him ‘your highness,’ in…”

“Yeah, maybe not in the greatest of taste…” Finn said gently.

Ellis let out a shrill laugh. “Yeah, no, totally, I’m just… trying to make him feel like old times, like… nothing’s changed, we’re still just… you know, you’re our bitchboy, we’re all one big happy family, like… um… b-before.” They lapsed into silence just as quickly as they had spoken and stared at the ground between their feet.

Isaac’s throat ached as he swallowed hard, looking between Gavin and Ellis. Finn was staring at their partner with their mouth slightly open. Gavin shivered against Isaac’s side, just as he had been doing almost every moment for the days since Isaac had pulled him from the basement.

Gavin stepped forward and put a thin hand on Ellis’s shoulder. “You have no idea how many times I wished I could have another chance to be the family’s bitchboy again,” he said, with a deeply solemn tone.

Ellis’s head snapped up with speed that rivaled a gunshot. Their eyes were wide, lips parted, and they stared at Gavin, unmoving.

“Oh,” they gasped. “Oh, you’re making a joke. Oh, thank fuck. I thought that fucker really did fuck with your head.”

Gavin managed a painful-sounding laugh. “Not like that,” he said, voice softening.

Isaac blinked, seeing the basement, the barrel of Schiester’s gun pointed at his heart.

“I w-want to be with him,” he croaked, his eyes fixed on Schiester. “I w-want…” He swallowed thickly. The words burned his tongue, but he pushed them out. “I want to… Please, l-let me be his… his plaything… again. Please… h-hurt me… for him.”

Isaac swallowed again. Today is a rough day. I’m aware of myself enough to know that today is a rough day. And that’s… something, at least. His hand shook in Gavin’s, and he loosened his grip. He forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out.

“So you’re doing, um… better, then,” Ellis said weakly, their frenetic jokes gone. They chewed their lip as they glanced at the retraced scars on Gavin’s face. “You look… better.”

“Yeah, Ellis,” Gavin said. He offered them a soft smile. “Thanks for asking. I’m… I’m doing okay.”

“Good.” Ellis nodded slowly. “That’s good.”

Finn spoke, their eyes searching Isaac’s face. “And you, Isaac? You doing alright?”

Isaac’s throat tightened. He pulled Gavin closer to him, happier to keep everyone focused on Gavin. “Um, yeah,” he said. He winced internally as his voice broke. “Yeah. I’m okay. Just… relieved to have Gavin back.” He stared at the ground, ignoring how he could now feel all of their gazes on his face like a physical touch.

Gavin’s gaze was heaviest. He knew about the… the scars. Vera didn’t even know about them yet, although Isaac knew they would probably all find out eventually. A finger of shame crept up his spine. Goosebumps crawled across his skin and pricked the cuts on his arms.

The door to the post office slammed open, and Isaac flinched like he’d been slapped. Laughter poured out of the open door. Two people who Isaac didn’t recognize came out, waving back to someone inside, smiles wide and boisterous. Finn turned to follow Isaac’s gaze.

“Relax, Isaac,” Ellis said, a hint of sarcasm returning to their voice. “Your boy’s back.”

Isaac swallowed hard as his gaze shifted to the ground again. “Yeah, I know,” he murmured. He wanted to leave, to hide. Not to seek cover, as he would from spraying bullets – but as he had once wanted to hide from Rosa, when her fury at him burned hottest, and he knew he could not buy a reprieve with a cleaner shot, a harder hit, a tidier room.

He never hid, though. After he ran from his mother, he never ran from his problems again. Until he ran from the guard who killed Jordan.

“Fuck,” he breathed, and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Who’s here, Isaac?” Finn whispered. Gravel scraped under their shoe, and Isaac forced himself to open his eyes and look at them. Their face was pale, their eyes wide, and their hand was wrapped around Ellis’s wrist. “Is it not safe here?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Ellis spat through their teeth. “Are you—”

“No,” Isaac said, holding out a hand to them both. His head spun. Gavin is safe, but is anyone safe at all with Rosa here…? He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head to clear it. “No. Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m just… having a rough day. Can we… can we maybe… keep talking and just… walk towards the house?”

“Do we need to call the others?” Finn murmured.

“Fuck, no,” Isaac ground out. His throat clogged with frustration. “No, just… it’s just hard for me to think right now. The others are fine. Just. Gavin, come on and—” He didn’t wait for an answer before he turned and half-dragged Gavin in the opposite direction they had just come. Ellis and Finn jogged to keep up.

“Okay, we’re fine and just going for a nice run with a pregnant person. Cool,” Ellis groused.

“Sorry,” Isaac huffed. He slowed his stride. “Sorry.” He forced himself to take a deep breath. As much as it made the hair on the back of his neck prickle to have his back to the post office, he found his chest didn’t feel nearly so tight now that he was walking away from it. With another deep inhale and exhale, his arm around Gavin’s waist relaxed a little as well. “Sorry,” he whispered, just for Gavin, and pressed a kiss into Gavin’s hair.

Gavin said nothing, just looked at Isaac with unfathomable worry in his eyes. Isaac’s heart twisted.

They were already out of downtown Laporte and down the lane surrounded by wooded forest once more. They left the road and wove between the trees. Isaac slowed his steps even further. The sun dappled the bed of dead pine needles on the ground, and a cool breeze ruffled the strands of Isaac’s hair that had pulled free of the elastic. He cleared his throat and slipped his arm from around Gavin’s waist so he could squeeze his hand.

“So, um, Rosa lives here,” he said softly.

Finn stopped dead in their tracks. Ellis kept walking straight into a branch at face-level and let out a squawk.

“…the Rosa?” Finn finally managed.

“Yup,” Isaac said.

For a long moment, the only sound was the wind blowing through the canopy of the trees above. Then, Ellis said to Gavin, “Did you know about this?”

“Yes,” Gavin murmured.

“And she’s still alive?” Ellis snapped.

Gavin’s jaw flexed. “He wouldn’t—”

“What fuckin’ good are you if she’s still—”

“Hey,” Isaac snarled, stepping between them both and drawing himself up to his full height until he towered over Ellis.

Ellis rolled their eyes and crossed their arms over their chest. “I was mostly joking, Isaac, calm down.” They jutted their chin out at Gavin. “I’m just surprised he didn’t take a run at her, that’s all. Any one of us would have—”

“He did,” Isaac said through his teeth. “He wasn’t exactly in the best condition to challenge her for my soul.”

“Not your soul,” Finn said with a shrug. “But, like… your childhood.”

“I wasn’t a child,” Isaac said helplessly.

“For fuck’s sake, Isaac,” Gavin said with a groan. He threw a look at Finn and Ellis. “This is not the first time we’ve had this conversation.”

“Wait, you can’t just…” Isaac spread his hands.

“But that’s why you’re so jumpy today, huh?” Finn said softly. Isaac fell silent and nodded. He dug a toe into the layer of pine needles, all the way down to the topsoil. The top of his boot came away wet and stained.

Everyone was silent for a long time. After a while, Ellis began walking again, and Isaac was grateful to no longer have everyone’s eyes on him. Gavin’s fingers were cold where they entwined with his, but Gavin was smiling; nothing could have torn Isaac away from his side, walking with his family through a peaceful forest with nothing to fear but his own past.

“So… what are we gonna do about this?” Ellis said.

Isaac pushed out a slow breath. “There’s nothing to be done,” he mumbled. “It’s not like she’s a syndicate leader or something. She fights against the syndicates, or at least she did at some point. We can’t just kill her.”

Ellis chuckled. “I asked what we were going to do, not whether we were going to kill her. But I’m glad to see your brain moving in the right direction. No, I mean… so, are we moving again?”

“No,” Isaac said quickly. “No way. This is the safest place for Gavin, and Zachariah. It’s the first chance we’ve had at some real community. Besides.” He squeezed Gavin’s hand. “We just got here.”

“You used to live on the road, and I’m okay with people being less than enthused about me if you don’t have to live like this,” Gavin replied.

“Don’t listen to him, I’m not moving again while I’m pregnant,” Ellis called from ahead.

Finn rolled their eyes. “Real nice, Ellis.”

“Fine, but you’re moving all the boxes,” Ellis griped.

“What, all two of them?” Finn shot back.

“Here’s what I want to know,” Ellis said, finally turning around. “Does Vera know?”

Finn looked at Isaac. He froze under the attention. Gavin’s thumb moved back and forth against his hand, and he pulled Gavin close against his side again.

“No,” Isaac said roughly.

Ellis’s head fell back in a raucous laugh. “Hoo boy, I can’t wait to see her reaction. That bitch’ll be dead within an hour, just you wait.”

“I need to talk to her about a few things tonight, maybe we’ll get to it,” Isaac murmured. Gavin pressed a kiss to his shoulder. His stomach bucked at the simple touch.

If she’s still willing to talk to me after she finds out I decided to punish myself for losing Gavin after all, I’ll tell her about Rosa.

“Well, fill me in on how it goes,” Ellis said, their laughter not yet died down. “I need a play-by-play of how exactly she intends on handling this situation. And then obviously ask her if she needs help dumping the body.”

Isaac forced a smile. “Yeah. Obviously. Thanks for, um… for listening.”

“Of course,” Finn said. They pulled Isaac into a hug. He unwound his arm from around Gavin’s waist and crushed Finn in his embrace before pulling away, feeling only a little shaky.

“Any time,” Ellis said with a rare tone of solemnity. “You’re family, Isaac. Someone fucks with one of us… especially the baby version of one of us…” They shrugged tightly. “I don’t know, dude. It’s fucked up, what she did. I mean, I’m an asshole, but I still can’t imagine doing what she did to a fucking kid. Maybe it’s because I’m a parent. I don’t know. But… still.” Ellis lightly punched Isaac on the arm. He offered them a hesitant smile. “We’re here for you. Obviously.”

“Thanks, Ellis,” he whispered.

“Yeah, shut up,” they whimpered, their voice suddenly tight. They turned in an abrupt about-face and headed back to the lane towards their house. “Fucking pregnancy hormones,” they hissed, and dashed tears from their eyes.

Gavin smiled and returned to Isaac’s side once more. It felt… perfect, easy, safe. As Isaac’s slung his arm around Gavin’s waist once more, and Gavin turned his head to place a kiss on Isaac’s shoulder, it felt like the one thing that made sense in the uneasy noise of Isaac’s mind. He couldn’t suppress a smile as he followed Ellis and Finn down the sun-streaked lane as the wind blew the autumn leaves about their feet.

Continued here

@womping-grounds ​, @free-2bmee ​, @quirkykayleetam ​, @walkingchemicalfire ​, @inpainandsuffering ​, @redwingedwhump ​, @burtlederp ​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog ​ , @whatwhumpcomments ​, @whumpywhumper ​, @stxck-fxck ​, @whumps-the-word ​, @justplainwhump ​, @finder-of-rings ​, @inky-whump ​, @orchidscript ​, @inkyinsanity ​, @this-mightaswell-happen ​, @newandfiguringitout ​, @whumpkitty ​, @pretty-face-breaker ​, @pebbledriscoll ​, @im-just-here-for-the-whump ​, @endless-whump ​, @grizzlie70 ​, @oops-its-whump ​, @kixngiggles​, @1phoenixfeather ​ , @butwhatifyouwrite ​, @carnagecardinal , @whumpifi , @squishablesunbeam

#honor bound 6 #whump #hurt/comfort #Isaac/Gavin #Fillis #PTSD #pregnancy #themes of self-harm #Ellis is a cringelord: confirmed #past captivity #past child abuse #complicated feelings about abusers #frank discussion of murder #angst #recovery #let's take some bets everyone #who thinks Rosa is surviving this book #and who thinks she's dying

[miss-atena]

Neurodivergent, traumas and of sorts headcanons for creepypasta

Why? cuz obviously a bunch of traumatized psychos who live in a manor together can't not be neurodivergent and/or mentally ill in some way.

part 1 of some. idk when i'll make more but i like these.

feat. Jeff the Killer, Homicidal Liu + Sully, Jane the Killer and Ticci Toby

TW: Trauma discussion, Child abuse, PTSD discussion.

Jeff the Killer

Jeff and Liu grew up in a heavily catholic family, so you can imagine for a very emo and punk kid like Jeff it was hard to deal with.

Jeff, in my au, has Bipolar disorder, beside anger issues, and due to his family (excluding Liu) belief it was "the devil doing this to their son", he is neglected any sort of mental help.

Due to this religious trauma of being dragged to churches and being treated with physical violence for his likings and attitude, Jeff never learned a good coping mechanism, and resorts to violence to relief himself from his negative emotions.

When he is in a specially depressive episode, he tends to isolate himself and do the bare minimum to be alive.

But on his maniac episodes, he tends to be extra aggressive and violent. It was in one of those that he did his first killing spree.

Homicidal Liu and Sully

Like i said, Liu and Jeff grew up in a very catholic family. While Jeff's likings collided a lot with their parent's beliefs, Liu's were more accepted, albeit reluctantly.

Their parents had very high expectations of Liu, and whenever Liu didn't meet those, he was phisically punished.

Liu, was very distant from both of his parent's, due to fear of them, and he also didn't have many friends due to the excessive times his family moved in and out of cities.

Liu due to the physical abuse, reclusiveness and lack of attachment to anyone, including Jeff on his earlier years of life developed DID.

He only learned about DID, after Jeff's attack, when he was 15, though.

Besides DID, and him meeting with Sully, his protector, Liu also has heavy insomnia issues and PTSD from beds. Due to that he has a coffee addiction.

Sully, after being split, held a trauma holder role on the system. He grew very angry at Liu's parents, and slowly but surelly started having a more protector role, not only for Liu but, at the time, for Jeff.

After Jeff's attack, Sully grew even more bitter and split himself again, his trauma holder role staying with one part and himself, Sully, staying as a protector. That's when Liu noticed how sociopathic Sully grew.

Jane the Killer / Jane Arkensaw

Jane, before the Jeff incident, was completely normal. The max she had was one or other little insecurities with her appearance, but she had a safe and healthy childhood and family.

She was shy, but nothing that would be deemed worrysome.

After what Jeff did, whoever, her insecurities with her appearance ran out of the roof.

She always covers as much of her body as she can, too worried about anyone seeing her burnt scars and almost leathery skin.

She has an immense hate for Jeff, obviously, but she is extremely empathic with the ones that got hurt by him, including inside the manor by some reason and other people who were hunting him down, like Sully for example.

After her kidnapping, and even before that, after Jeff's burning alive, she grew a extreme anxiety disorder, and regularly does trades with Ann to get medication for it without having to notice Slenderman or the proxies.

She has heavy traumas of kidnapping, torture and tends to have panic attacks when assigned something like that.

Ticci Toby

Toby, of course, has Tourette's syndrome, as stated by his killer name.

Though in this au, Toby's main motor tics are more concentrated on his face, like multiple repeated blinking. Other tics he has is jerking his head to the left, stomping his feet, and turning his eyes around.

On the vocal tics category, he mainly ends up repeating sounds, while rarely he may repeat a word or whistle.

He also has CIPA, and that is what made him be so enthranced by fire since a young age. He didn't feel the burnt or the hurt, he only saw the pretty colour of fire.

Toby has some heavy trauma of cars, which results in most of his missions he walking to his victims. He only accepts entering on a car if another proxy is the one driving, and he can't be on the front.

Toby also has heavy trauma of drunk people, so most times on the comemorations inside the manor, he will stay in his room or outside putting something on fire.

He copes with most of his traumas and fears and honestly anything he can by putting stuff on fire or throwing stuff at people and getting away with it by being a proxy.

Happyness is in the little things <3/j

Toby also has ADHD, with an emphasys on the hiperactive.

He has trouble remembering stuff that are not written down, so if you hear an alarm going off in the middle of the night, it's probably Toby trying to remember something.

i'mma stop here because i got tired lol but this was fun.

#creepypasta #headcanons #creepypasta headcanon #jeff the killer #jeff the killer headcanon #homicidal liu #homicidal liu headcanon #jane the killer #jane the killer headcanon #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanon #goblin writting #TW: religious trauma #TW: child abuse #TW: trauma discussion #TW: PTSD

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly it is considerably mild compared to like... everything else, but there is a unique sense of boredom and apathy that comes when you have escaped or are near escaping "just surviving" when thats all you've done your life. Like you get used to everything you do having the high life-death making stakes that suddenly when everything factually isn't a life-death situation, a future making/breaking situation, theres a general sense of "okay but does this ACTUALLY matter" cause you have gotten used to such a high demand and high pressure on everything that it is kind of hard to just.... accept that some things aren't a "have to do it" and thats good and normal.

Like usually I don't have too much of an issue with it, but sometimes I sit here and question it myself, like, "Why DO I care about this, theres no motivation for it other than that it makes me happy a decent amount of the time. It's not going to kill me if I don't so..." and then I have to remind myself that most things SHOULDN'T feel like something I "have to do or else" and that I also don't have to be chronically 100% engaged in my activities to maintain a sense that it is something nice and worth existing to do.

PTSD be wild like this where it gets a break from chronic stress and goes "okay though what now we are just going to EXIST and not NEED to survive for anything??? boring lame."

-Riku

#alter: riku #ptsd #c-ptsd #trauma #vent #vent tw #feel free to reblog and discuss

[trekkiehood]

Okay really tempted to write a fic where people on the Enterprise are suddenly coming down with an illness almost as if they've been poisoned and people are dying or almost dying from it and then they find out that it's the replicators and that something has gone wrong with them and the scripts are distorted to the point that the food is making people sick (maybe just the lower decks but the officers mess still has ok capabilities) and they can't fix it without docking and they are weeks away from Federation space and the script virus is spreading and there's no way they will have enough food to keep everyone alive on the emergency voyage even with Federation sending a ship to intercept them with help and it's Tarsus all over again but this time he's in command and oh he can't do this not again

#would love to discuss it if you fuys have ideas #*guys #really leaning towards writing it #star trek #star trek fanfiction #tarsus iv #tarsus #jim kirk #james t kirk #captain kirk #Tarsus ptsd

[hauntedpearl]

you know how in crooked Kingdom nina used to be a heartrender pre-parem and if she still had those powers she could have very easily healed Matthias when he gets shot but instead her powers are reversed when they most matter to her so she just has to sit there and watch him die and then she reanimates his corpse and even then she knows he's not in there, it's just a puppet? anyway. should have happened to Castiel.

#i think..it would ruin my whole entire life #and that's something im into #doe is talking again #tw for crooked Kingdom deaths #im watching the ladyknightthebrave video on six of crows and im having a reaction to the upcoming discussion of Matthias' death #did you know. i haf nightmares after reading that book #i would wake up SCREAMING and crying #and then i had to get over it #i don't think ive ever been hurt like that in real life #like my dad was on a ventilator and i cried about it but i did not have ptsd nightmares like thaf

[ink-asunder]

Having demand avoidance in a medical setting is literally hell. Like, patient autonomy is already absolute ass. It's only made worse when doctors CONSISTENTLY tell you what to do and act like you HAVE to do it instead of consulting with you first like normal fucking people.

#also “”“”medical necessity“”“” is NOT an excuse here. #ive been to plenty of doctors that thoroughly discuss a range/timeline of treatment and explain it IN DETAIL before saying “thats what i- #-recommend“ instead of just going ”okay were gonna do this. im gonna explain the prep to you a mile a minute and if you have any follow up- #-questions im just gonna repeat part of my spiel with no clarification. and if i cant answer your questions too bad :)“ #not to mention how many doctors just force you to do things that WILL NEVER WORK #like one therapist tried forcing me to do emdr when i was only IN HER TOWN for the summer and i had no internet access when i was at college #im pretty sure emdr takes several weeks to work and i did not have that kind of time available to me. i couldnt just drop out bc of ptsd. #also the number of times ive had to decline an ESI is stupid. I've already had 2! they didn't work! i had a bad reaction to the meds! #why am i being forced to do it again? #also back surgery. i cant do that because i am a white trash rural kid and our home (which we built ourselves) CANNOT be accessible enough #for spinal surgery recovery. but i went to the surgeon and he was like “thats valid! and also surgery literally wouldnt help you so idk why- #-they sent you here.“ : l It's cool to be right all the time lol #its like. no wonder i developed medical demand avoidance after so much traumatizing and malpracticy bullshit in my life #demand avoidance #medical demand avoidance #chronic illness burnout #chronic illness #chronic pain #medical tw #ptsd #disability #medical neglect #medical trauma #vent #this might be too personal. if i do delete it ill have it rb'd on my boar-deer-whitetrashbutterfly blog first #idk i just havent really been able to find anyone else talking about this specific effect of being chronically ill/disabled.

[cannibal-nightmares]

schizophrenia is a monster, ptsd is a monster. Let's talk about when they co-exist.

this is going to be a jumbled up thought dump because guess what prompted this; I deal with both, but my experience has me assume they exacerbate each other. I'm writing this to be informative, if it interests any one in the same way it intrigues me

i was wondering why I've been so utterly and--specifically--differently exhausted this morning, but--as I almost always am too late to realize--a chance of rain is in the forecast, which is a ptsd trigger for me. it wasn't until I was chatting with my roommate in the kitchen and kept getting distracted by figures walking around the corner and disappearing did I realize it was cloudy out. the trickery of psychosis didn't have me fully questioning the people walking around at first, but the way the words started to melt in my mouth did. A PTSD episode for me almost always starts with the inability to string together coherent sentences, seeing visual auras, and sometimes auditory hallucinations, thereafter--sometimes regardless of if I've pieced together the details quick enough--a panic or anxiety attack will happen, followed by dissociation. I used to wear a medical ID regarding this (i've misplaced it..) and have a card in my wallet if I can't get myself to make any sense verbally.

A mess has occurred at work over the past few weeks, in that trustworthy management and other employees have been fired by corporate heads. corporate management keeps asking how things are going, and I keep saying "Our bonds are gone." I have to soon have these hard conversations with brand new figures of authority, knowing very well they're going to look at me differently way too soon into getting to know me. I hear a lot "You shouldn't tell your employer about your disabilities" but that doesn't apply to everyone and I don't have an option. I can't express how confusing and terrifying it is for both myself and the people around me who don't have a single clue why I am fumbling gibberish like I'm having a stroke (No, really, that's how bad the diction crumbles). The weather--whether it be today, tomorrow, next week--is inevitable, these circumstances are inevitable. I have developed so many internal resources to fall back on, but nothing is going to stop the physical symptoms from following suit. What drives me mad is these strangers who will think my story is an excuse when they have no made-basis of the truth in understanding that I love to work, I love to meet perfectionism, I love to bend possibilities.

What drives me mad is the inevitable shift these strangers will have when they look at me.

#oops turned into a rant also things are melting #i have to go to work soon #feel free to discuss #cannibal-nightmares rambles #ptsd #actually ptsd #actually schizophrenic #actually schizospec

[lucindasthighs]

Aaron and Ein fighting because stupid love-incest-werewolf-brainwash-bullshit<<<<Katelyn beating Ein's ass at the end of PDH s2 for hurting her little brother

#IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG #I COULDNT FIND THE WORD #theres somethibg so special about it NOT being about aphmau for once #that WHOLE SEASON was about aph and aarons struggles of being too special and cool for thrir own good boohoo #its just soo good. for it to be about someone else for once #by the end of the season #aarmau is canon and making meme faces completely happy #you know where kacey is??? THE FUCKING HOSPITAL #wait no can you imagine katelyns ptsd when travis has to be held back after waf #btw was it ever discussed if kasey had permanent damage? #if you read all those uh thanks im losing my mind #aphmau #aphblr #aphverse #mystreet #mystreet katelyn #aphmau katelyn #aphmau kacey #mystreet kacey #mystreet ein #aaron lycan #aphmau ein #travlyn

[constantineshots]

beer doesn't do so good in warm weather, john. you need water.

but also, this story... it deals with a man who fought in vietnam i believe, and it's nothing supernatural or magical. john got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it's a sad read.

#john constantine #hellblazer #john out and about! #but yeah this story... its sad. #he's in the united states and it discusses the vietnam war #the man has flashbacks from it #and i believe ptsd