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#ptsd mention tw
lifeinpoetry · 5 months
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Hi I'm so happy to see you on my dash again :) Your blog has always felt like a safe space to me. How are you doing? I hope you're well. Thanks for posting the free Palestine reading list.
Hi, thank you so much, lovely <3
Had been holding onto the links for a while and even posted to my then brand-new Bluesky account but kept thinking I should post the links I'd bookmarked here but wasn't sure I wanted to jump back into posting regularly anywhere. The ongoing genocide felt more and more urgent and keeping silent while I had a platform felt like being complicit even though the only place I was truly active on was Goodreads.
I am okay. I wasn't okay for a good long while, but I think I'm in a likely short-lived easing of the depression/anxiety/hallucinations that have made up the past year.
I don't know if I wrote about this but we had to make the decision to have Bear, our then-14/15-year-old poodle, put to sleep because his health had gotten so bad. We had taken him in from the streets when he was 1-2 year(s) old after his owners had their house foreclosed and left him behind. I miss him all the time.
Baby S had brain surgery to put in a shunt and is doing a whole lot better though she does have PTSD/medical trauma. Baby A is nearly two, boisterous and as clever as Houdini in freeing herself from anything with straps/play pens/etc. We became a family placement after she was taken at birth by social workers and nearly adopted out to non-family.
These two small humans have made the past year bearable even though I'm not a parent and have never wanted to be a parent. I love them with all my heart.
The rage is gone now that the verbal/emotional abuse is over, has been over for about three years (?), and it doesn't seem it will return. I thought rage was just part of my natural make up but it isn't, it was a response to being attacked daily with no true response, deflection, or attempt to end the conversation that was acceptable. People would tell me to walk away, to change the subject, to say to agree to disagree and I tried all these but it was hard when the majority of the time it would lead to them raging and let's be real, it's near impossible to walk away when you were in your room minding your business and the other person is looming at the door.
I know that's old news but I've been thinking about it a lot because of the babies. I'm glad I can be my best self, feel no desire to snap at them, and have tapped into a well of patience for both myself and them.
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bloominghands · 11 months
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Idk about y’all, but I think the smell of burning books or paper would send Robin into a PTSD episode.
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mtgc858 · 1 year
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A lot of shaking at the start!
So we yeah
Poor Tin, but he's trying to be optimistic at least.
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movedtocahroline · 9 months
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this is just yet another reminder that bill for.bes does not get a pass ( meaning happiness or any support ) on this blog period. he is the legit reason why caroline has ptsd and so much self hatred BEFORE the whole nightwing thing. he sat back , watched caroline transition the day after she turned 17 , faked being nice to only kidnap her a few weeks later via needle to neck filled with vervain , torture her for days and made her starve. his whole " i have to fix you or else i'm going to have to kill you " is such bs. and he straight up made caroline HATE herself and who/what she was. there's so much to this whole thing that i haven't went into fully but caroline avoided bill for the longest. and when he died in 1979? she wasn't phased. i think she was more angry than anything because she never ever got an apology from him about how he did her. she also didn't attend his funeral.
unless plotted , liz forbes is the only person who knows wtf caroline went through with him and the fact that she has to seek therapy for the ptsd . as for the self hatred, that's another thing no one knows about her. care has a habit of smiling despite everything she's been through.
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lcstkey · 11 months
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Sequel to A Dangerous Thing 
Trigger Warnings: death mention, corpse mention, spirits, blood, survival guilt and post trauma mention
The young lancer could only stare up toward the cliffside at Carlisle’s head turned toward his group. She is too shocked to scream. The sharp winds were already slicing at her leather armor and the skin on her exposed face. If Artemis wanted to survive, she knew that she needed to act quick within the next few seconds and so she did; with a flick of her wrist, a Corridor to Darkness opens underneath her. She falls in and the door closes.
The next moments felt agonizingly slow. Artemis would have betted that she had been falling for at least half a bell, perhaps more than one. She closes her eyes and breathes for one long minute that feels like an eternity. When the lancer reopens her eyes again, she twists her body around to flick her wrist one more and opens another Corridor.
Just to fall face first into the snow below.
Groaning, she manages to flop herself so that she could see the cliffsides and skies above and sit up slowly. Artemis shakes the snow off her head and quietly observes her surroundings.
Am I on another world? Did I make it to Hope Village? She wonders with a wince as she looks down at her armor and inspecting the severe damage it took, Ow, least I landed okay. I don’t quite recall my Star having a canyon and I don’t see a way up either…
Grabbing her lance, Artemis stands up unsteadily and slowly staggers towards the only opening ahead of her in the west. Only a few moments later, she trips over the obstacle buried in the snow and falls face first once again. She screams into the snow in frustration.
Standing up once more, the young lancer wipes the ice from her face then roughly kicks the obstacle only to wince and grits her teeth as a sharp pain shoots up her own leg. Her own curiosity getting the better of her; she kneels down to wipe the snow off and finds an armored corpse underneath.
The lancer removes the corpse’s helmet to find an Elezen’s face underneath. She pauses to inspect their armor then her own and frowns, shakes her head. Other than their limbs being twisted in the wrong direction like a fragile doll dropped from a height, their armor is in much better shape than her own and they appear to be of similar height to her. She concludes combination of the cold and the injuries must have killed them.
Forgive me, you have no need of it now that you are dead and I won’t survive another blow with mine as is. Artemis whispers to herself. She trades her armor for theirs and lastly, puts their helmet on. The gloves seem to fit loosely on her own hands. She notes how sleek and heavy it is compared to the leather, almost like a dragon’s scales.
A glint catches her eye and she inspects the area around them once again, finding a sapphire blue stone fitting into the palm of her hand. Her brows furrow as it faintly shines with an otherworldly glow and her fingers trace over the draconic symbol etched into it. Artemis puts the stone into a pouch just to find two worn envelopes already occupying the space; the ink on the addressees having begun to fade.
These are Eorzean letters… Am I still in Eorzea?  She wonders as she examines the handwriting on the envelopes, recognizing the letters, I’ll make sure that these reach home…It’s the least I could do.
Hoping to find a way up, Artemis staggers west. With each heavy step, she could hear intelligible whispers in the cold winds when no one else should be around. From the corner of her eye, the lancer thought she had seen someone, or perhaps something, but to find no one there when she turns her head in that direction. A trick of the wind?
The canyon grows darker the further she delved and Selena grips her lance tight.
                                             “Selena.”
Pivoting on her right foot, she swiftly turns around to point the tip of her lance at a young girl’s throat staring up at her. She appeared of no more than eight summers yet the pallid skin of face and body are covered in a monster’s claw marks, no longer bleeding, more akin to rotting, and bone peeking through the wounds.
The phantom girl blinks with silver eyes, clouded by death. A trait shared by the young lancer in front of her and their mother. 
“Solaria...?”
Artemis finds herself having trouble to breath, feeling like suffocating, and all color draining from her face. 
“...What reason do you have left to fight for, Selena...?” asks the phantom sister as she takes a step toward her. Selena steps back. Her grip on her lance shakes.
“Everyone’s dead. Except for you. You survived against all odds.” Hints of anger, envy in the phantom’s voice begin to grow from the smallest of embers. 
“Leaping from Star to Star, new world from new world. Having adventures while the rest of us rot on our own Star’s corpse.” She steps forward and Selena steps back, “Searching for a world already dead. How stupid are you? It took you FOREVER to realize we’re all gone.”
Multiple pairs of golden eyes began to glow in the dark surrounding them. The lancer whips her head and her lance around rapidly. She doesn’t get a chance to respond.
“Why are YOU alive? Why are YOU fighting to be alive?” The phantom sister screams at Selena, clouded silver eyes now shining a bright gold, “YOU PROMISED THAT WE’D LEAVE TOGETHER! THAT WE’D HAVE ADVENTURES TOGETHER!”
Selena covers her ears, but they are still ringing and her heart is beating loud and rapidly. 
The phantom girl’s body twists, bones breaking, flesh reinventing itself from the younger sister to a much larger shadow with long claws and antennae-like horns. It disappears, hiding in the darkness, in front of her eyes.
A moment later, Selena finds herself slammed face-first into the snow from behind, landing on her lance, breaking it into two pieces in each hand. Her back hurts, claw marks scarring the stolen armor. With fear in her eyes, she kicks the shadow off, tosses away the broken weapon, and scrambles to get up. 
The darkness becomes a horde on the chase, with the shadow that used to be her sister leading them.
She runs east, back to the beginning where she’d become trapped once more by the canyon’s walls. Selena swiftly turns around and unconsciously flicks her wrist, the Heartsickness keyblade faithfully returning to her hand. Feeling the keyblade’s hilt twist beneath her grip, the keybearer looks down to find that the weapon has transformed into a lance resembling its previous form.
“I could work with this...” Selena whispers to herself and adjusts her position, pointing the key-lance at the shadow horde. She charges then starts with a huge leap, silver flames enveloping her and her weapon. The little blue stone shining inside her pouch. She performs a dragonfire dive, taking out a noticeable number of shadows.
Taking out shadow after shadow, the keybearer has found her song, her rotation, as a lancer, perhaps even something more. It does not take long for them to regroup, becoming a monstrous tornado reaching above the canyon walls. 
 Her key-lance transforms back to the keyblade and she raises it up high, casting Dark Blizzaza upon the horde to freeze it in its place. Hearing the ice crack, she stares up anxiously, unsure how to finish them off before they break through the ice. 
“Take a breath, Ar-tee-mas.”
The environment surround her melts into an unfamiliar-yet-familiar setting; an arena set under a scarlet sky and red Star staring down on her. Glancing down, Selena takes a startled step back as she finds herself knee deep in blood. Screens framed by fragile gold hold shifting images of another lifetime from six to seven summers past. 
She fails to notice the bleeding corpses sitting on the arena stands, skinless and staring with empty eyes. 
A seemingly harmless elderly man standing in front of her with a staff in hand. She finds herself scared and trembling at the sight of him.
“Don’t look at me like so, girl. According to your memory, I’m very much gone. Left for dead on a dying world.” He chides her with a sinister chuckle, “You need my memory for a spell you’ve forgotten and we don’t have much time so listen well.”
“Raise your blade high. Do you feel that current?”
Closing her eyes, Selena raises her keyblade high, feeling an electrical energy flowing through her blood. Dark clouds begin to form and rumble above her. 
“Remember to breath. In...Out. Good.” 
She could feel her blood screaming and heart thundering. Taking a breath, Selena briefly opens her eyes, silver glowing bright with an aetheric glow. 
“Now...Cast!” 
“Thundaza!” The keybearer screams, as the vision is shattered when the singular lightning strike snakes down to contact with the frozen shadow horde tornado. The force of the spell knocks her back. Her head hurts, ringing a shrill sound.
“Ow...” She groans, sitting up and catches her breath. A quick scan over the area tells her that she did it; the shadows are gone. Her keyblade had stuck the ground several feet away from her right hand. 
Believing to be hearing voices from nearby, the panicking Selena straightens up and scrambles to stand up, not quite regaining her balance. With shaking hands, she swiftly dismisses her keyblade and struggles to open a Corridor of Darkness. 
When the Corridor opens in front of her, the keybearer quickly steps in. The Corridor closes just before the bewildered group of Temple Knights arrive to find the scorched aftermath of the battle.
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roseguided · 11 months
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here’s a quick run down of the damage done to elizabeth from being caught in the circus baby animatronic as a child:
physically elizabeth had the most issues & things that needed to be repaired after her accident. however, she also experiences some mental repercussions of such a trauma occurring.
— the bottom portion of her left leg , from an inch or so from above the knee , had to be amputated. which means elizabeth wears a prosthetic leg on her left side.
— all of her ribs on her left side , some in her arm & shoulder , are all metal. replaced since the originals were crushed behind fixing.
— two fingers , her pinky & ring finger , on her left hand are gone.
— she has extensive scaring on that half of her body.
— elizabeth is partially deaf in her left ear
— she cannot run long distances as her lungs aren’t as strong as they used to be from internal damage. she runs out of breath quickly if she overextends herself.
— body aches & pain, chronic. flares up during the winter time and during storms.
— headaches
— ptsd , anxiety , nightmares , insomnia , bouts of sleep paralysis
— an intense phobia of mascots & clowns
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bellsliturgy · 1 year
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yasuko never gets caught for killing shibata goons because police be like haha lol? @ yakuza deaths and she doesn’t regret killing them (because... shibata) but the act of killing does haunt her long after the events of y4, leading to nightmares and post traumatic stress.
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galaxofmuses · 1 year
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[ ANCHOR ] For the Skyler twins!
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𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙴𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳 𝚃𝙾𝚄𝙲𝙷 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂. // Accepting!
warnings: ptsd mention, anxiety mention
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"Another nightmare...."
Having horrible visions by every night and knowing that he could have died from that fight. That island...The incidents. His friends. Yet something happened and something was wrong and he needs to figure out what to do with it.
He went outside to take a run to shake it off, but that nightmare was eating through his focus. His breathing became shorter and his visions is starting to become double. The wave of exhaustion hits him and absolutely made him stumble. Sky was a mess and he was at the verge of sobbing until he sees a familiar hand, the jacket and the familiar face.
It was his twin.
Confused of how the other hedgehog found him nor his Zone. The other twin did not say anything , but to gently pull him into an embrace.
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Sky absolutely broke down into a soft sob as his forehead touches theirs and the anxiety subsides and tension lowers down. He looks at Skyler with a smile.
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"Hey...Thanks dude. I...I really needed that."
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mcrcki · 2 years
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@drvcxrys​ said : “ let’s get you cleaned up. “ (buffy @ tatum)
hurt comfort || not accepting
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“sorry, i know i look like a damn mess, don’t i?” tatum rubbed at her face, trying to calm herself down before letting buffy help her up. something about their training today, there was a moment that sent her memories off, that triggered something in her and she crumbled. she couldn’t keep the training up for the day, tapping out and needing a break. “it won’t happen again.”
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tragcdysewn · 1 year
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closed starter for shang qinghua!! ( @irresistiibles​ )
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“bro, do you ever wonder if your childhood like... fucked you up psychologically?” renesmee commented, looking up from her book as they spotted someone sitting nearby. “not in like a ‘my parents were mean’ kind of way, but in a like ‘i may have some severe issues stemming from being way too sentient way too young’ way.”
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roseguidedarc · 2 years
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things that my katniss everdeen has, mental && physical conditions, that the movies ignored or barely touched on: 
⸺ her hunting scars, calf burn from the fireballs, && the scar on her forehead from her first games.  the capital medicines didn’t erase it, but instead the scar is covered in make up for appearances. 
⸺  katniss remains deaf in her left ear. same as mentioned above, the capital medicines did not remove/fix her deafness in that ear. 
⸺ in catching fire when johanna hit katniss over the head with a rock/the wire container it left katniss was sometimes mild to severe migraines in this aftermath.  they effect her in mockingjay && all throughout her life. 
⸺ after the fire bombs went off on the capital children/prim, && katniss was burned by it, those burns remained.  notably she has a burn scar/mark on her shoulder, over one of her hands, on her thigh,  && over her heart reaching upward to her neck. 
⸺ katniss has c-ptsd.  because of this repeated trauma that she’s witnessed && been subjected to during both her games as well as the rebellion, in addition to her fathers death, katniss has intense, vivid nightmares of the deaths of people close to her && people killed during the war.  (  in a lot of ways she feels responsible for them  )  she often wakes up screaming, panicked in the moment, before peeta comforts her or she calms herself down.  certain things can trigger panic attacks as well.  the smell of roses, or the sight of white roses,  as wells as, sometimes, the sound of wild dogs barking or tearing something apart triggers intense anxiety && often panic attacks.  being in the woods for too long/hunting can sometimes bring katniss back to the games even years since they ended completely.  sometimes she loses attention when in a moment of remembering the games, something from the war, && can disassociate. 
⸺ again, because of what she’s been through && witnessed katniss develops anxiety.  seasonal depression specifically around the time of prim’s death 
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infcinity · 2 years
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anakin & obi wan ( @rainbowmuses​ )
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anakin hadn’t been sleeping great recently, like it had before everything had gone bad - but this time, it was his own voice in his head telling him how much of a failure he was. memories of what had happened with obi wan swirled in his mind, espeically his second time seeing him again, when they fought again. he had taken to walking around the city, attempting to take his mind off of things, hoping to let it wander elsewhere, but it never helped. “obi wan,” he was a failure, he had failed them all, his friends, his wife, his children, the jedi order. and with everything that happened with leia, his emotions were all over the place, he wasn’t the person that he used to be, palpatine had made sure of that and the deeds that he had done as vader had slowly chipped away at the person anakin skywalker had once been, the jedi general, the hero without fear had truly died that day on mustafar and left him as a shell of his former self, a broken man. “I’m sorry,” he didn’t know what else to say, nothing else came to mind - out of everyone he had failed obi wan the most, they were supposed to be brothers and he had fallen down a dark path and tried to kill the one person who had always been there for him. he couldn’t help the tears that threatened to spill, couldn’t help the emotions and thoughts swirling in his head - he just wanted it all to stop. 
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vixlenxe · 2 years
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“Now now. You must calm down.” Soft kisses are currently being administered by the good doctor. Peppering the top of burette locks, an attempt at keeping the superhuman calm, who is both angry, yet also seemingly at the verge of tears.
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“...” A heavy exhale leaves Violet’s nose, followed soon by an equally as heavy inhale, & so-on-&-so-forth. Carefully repeated, as Edward held his beloved close, kisses & gentle words of assurance keeping her relaxed.
For some reason, this had triggered an episode for her, yet with Dr. Jade’s guidance, she was doing alright from going into a full flashback.
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foughtbelief · 18 hours
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STIGMA.
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tldr: lex's mental state as a half nobody is... complicated, but is easily summed up to "he's suicidal, but won't make any plans".
so! that out of the way, let me explain what i mean by that.
lex adores life. he adores the way that life works "in mysterious ways", and all that comes with the beauty and terror and hope and despair of living in this strange life of his and everyone else's. he adores living, and laughing, and loving the worlds that hate him merely for existing.
yes. in his canon, nobodies are CANONICALLY stigmatized / demonized.
they are mocked and ridiculed, in only the luckiest and "beloved" of situations. most known nobodies, though, are treated as "lesser". as "Other". they're treated as data, as less than nothing, as barely ink on a page. they're not respected or treated well, and usually when someone hides that they're a nobody, only to be found out later by someone, they... their life gets far worse than if they would have just mentioned it.
even the best of people, with no stigma against any race, will hesitate around a nobody, because of how badly they are perceived. as such, lex carries those stigmas within himself.
he believes he's a monster. he believes he's capable only of pain and misery, hurting those he loves without remorse and without necessity. he believes that he deserves to be alone, and sometimes that translates in his head to he's better off dead.
but, much like someone who has faced death and came back swinging, WHICH HE HAS, lex is not someone who will throw away what good things he has simply because the world tells him he doesn't deserve what he has, and deserves death (as a young adult/late teenager) for simply not being fully human. he won't throw away his life, no, not in the way that most people would assume, but he is incredibly reckless with the life he lives.
he's careless and reckless and foolish. he makes dumb decisions so that he can reassure himself that someone he cares about cares about him too. in a server he's in for roleplay, he's managed to get past that - somewhat - with the help of a couple of other nobodies / reformed somebodies, such as a post-kh3 demyx and vivian highwind from the KH:AT game. but ultimately speaking, lex fucking hates himself, but loves life more than he hates himself. he also loves his best friend, and he loves what he does for his friend and his friend's family, and he loves to see his friend smile, and he loves his new dreameater. he loves, oh god does he love.
but the world he loves does not love him.
the world he loves so much hates him in return.
so much so that he blames himself for existing, for hurting them by breathing, for being somewhere he should be because others are uncomfortable. he is sorry, he is so so SORRY, he truly must be horrible if he cannot fix it - if he cannot help it - if it is in his nature to harm. he's so sorry, and he doesn't even know why anymore.
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lcstkey · 9 months
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@diademreigned​  " I couldn't ask for a better friend. " — from G'raha Tia
Found Family Prompts 
He had said those words and a promise to come visit were said in the same breath before he left. The Miqo’te had been telling her stories about history of the Allag and of heroes and their adventures past. The young lancer would listen with keen interest, then swap with a story of some mundane misadventure she had. 
But then, he failed to come. Artemis waited for many bells at Urth’s Gift as the rain poured. The young adventurer fell asleep underneath a crystal formation with her squirrel resting on her shoulder and the small, three-legged griffin cub on her lap. 
It isn’t until they wake that she realizes that her friend had never came and decides to search for him in the city state. What if he was in trouble? However, with every ‘no’ and scrunched up expression from the countless people she would ask, the adventurer could feel herself slowly becoming hurt and hopeless. Artemis swallows her pride to ask a familiar Elezen Woodwailer if he had seen her friend.
This turns out to be a big mistake.
“He probably got tired of babysitting and entertaining the whims of a dirty Ala Mhigan brat,” Carlisle said, eyes narrowing at her wide-eyed, shocked expression and the uncomfortable stare from the squirrel on her shoulder, “Your ‘friend’ never intended to keep his word.”
“That’s not true!” She’d protest, but finding herself deflate and becoming unsure, “...He’d kept his word before...” The Elezen crosses his arms over his chest and stares down at her.
“Then something important came up. More important than a promise to an Ala Mighan brat.” He counters, scoffing and shaking his head as she bolts off toward the aetheryte plaza with the griffin cub trailing right behind her.  
When the young adventurer reaches the plaza, her eyes are tearing up and rests her hands on her knees momentarily to catch her breath. The griffin cub lands beside her and rubs against her leg. She straightens up and raises her hand to attempt to attune to the aetheryte once more. A sharp pain in her palm shooting up her arm causes her to pull it away; another rejection.  
Am I...Am I really that unimportant...? Artemis wonders, staring at her own reflections in the aetheryte. She blinks her tears away and she sees another silver-eyed Hyuran girl standing right behind her in the crystal’s refection. Her chest hurt. The young lancer turns around to see that the girl isn’t there and she takes a breath, hiccupping, trying so hard not to break down right there.  
The adventurer slowly walks back to Carline Canopy. As soon as she stepped through the door, she sneezes a high pitched sneeze and almost cause the squirrel to fall off the perch on her shoulder. Artemis never did dry herself off completely from the previous day’s rain. 
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vixletserenity · 6 months
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They couldn't really care less about participating in the scavenger hunt. Neither of them knew squat about Kanto and every hint confused them.
And dealing with a PTSD induced meltdown was more important.
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