It was 5 years ago today that I found my mom on the floor, barely responsive and having a stroke. The PTSD is always at an all time high on the “anniversary” of the worst day of my life so any distractions that can be offered would be greatly appreciated today.
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Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s her dads fault.
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I'm so anxious that my own bed triggers me so now I'm staying awake watching TV shows until I'm tired enough and hopefully I'll calm down enough to fall asleep on the floor or hopefully in bed
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I just don’t want to feel anything anymore. I’m tired, drained, exhausted. Just let me die already.
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I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.
It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.
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do you ever have the feeling that you suffered something traumatic as a kid but you can’t quite figure out what it was?
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i cant stand it anymore i don’t want this brain i dont want this life i want to live but not like this not with those constant feelings and thoughts and self destructive behaviors and all of that i cant do it anymore i cant
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I feel empty, I feel a hole in my chest while sadness and anguish are invading me. I don't have enough strength to get up, move, concentrate and eat.
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