So it's Autism Acceptance Month. And y'know what? This is one of the few spaces I think I can go all out in talking spectrum stuff. So les' go?
I always grew up feeling like a misfit; even in the Autistic community. I don't think it's anyone's fault or anything, though. I know I'm kinda just... an oddball. Even by Autism standards.
I was diagnosed as a baby and didn't really have that "late diagnosis" or "gifted kid" experience a lot of the big ASD content creators write about. Hell, I was the opposite-- I was raised a SpEd kid, much to my detriment. But I can handle change pretty well, and if anything, I actively seek it out. Like, all the time.
And I actually prefer to keep my gender & my Autism separate. Because I genuinely believe I would've been trans even without it. (No shade to anyone who's like, Autiegender or anything like that, though! I'm not the fuckin' pronoun police, lmao.)
I definitely have my share of Autistic traits, enough to where I *know* my diagnosis isn't wrong, but... I don't know, I just don't have that "autistic personality" that I think most of the world expects me to have. Both in AND out of the Autistic community.
I LOVE talking to people. I love parties and busy, chaotic, loud places like New York City-- especially Times Square. Quiet environments drive me nuts. I'm rowdier. Boorish. The Brooklyn in me swears a lot. Confrontational as hell. The only major sensory issue I have is with food. And I think I have a thicker skin than others? And I find a lot of the world's most common Autistic experiences just... hard to relate to.
I also have very... "paletteable" Autism? Whixh kinda annoys me. The kind that makes neurotypicals favor me over others when they shouldn't; a productive, monetizable special interest w/ my art. A lack of meltdowns. Some pretty decent social skills even if I am awkward. I can mask almost perfectly for hours & hours on end, and the most that'll happen is just me lowkey getting annoyed.
Obviously, I'm kind of glad because it reduces the discrimination I gotta deal with. I've still had a shit ton of people be ableist towards me regardless. I think we all have. But at the same time, I don't like how it makes people think I'm "better" than others. Fuck that.
I kinda feel like I walk this weird, in-between line where I'm always gonna stick out no matter where I go. My character casts me out from other Autistics, but my mannerisms cast me out from neurotypicals.
But I love my spectrum traits. And I like my personality, too. So fuck it; if I'm gonna stick out, I may as well stick-out with pride. I don't wanna waste time being self-conscious when really, there's no one or two ways to be Autistic anyway.
I guess this is all just to say that I'm excited to start talking, writing, or drawing Autism more. I'll probably stand out a little ✌🏼
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I tried to get Midjourney to create portraits of me 🙈
Ai generated Art created using Midjourney, follow me on Discord
Word Prompt: portrait of a Mixed raced black woman drawn like a gibson girl illustration reading a book with a small smile, 4k, Charles Dana Gibson inspired, flat drawing, hand drawn, greyscale
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This might be kind of unpopular but as a Latina I get kind of tired of all the self depreciating jokes and things other Latinos/as/es say about our home countries
Comments like "X genre of music is the only good thing to come out of X country" and "there isn't JUST [insert crimes here] in my home country - there's ALSO [insert other crimes here]"
So many people tell me that's "just how Latinos are" and yeah, while I get it's a coping mechanism for many of us, it becomes lowkey depressing to constantly hear everyone, even fellow Latinos, shit all over our countries, culture, etc.
I think I also feel this way because I often hear my father talking about how "everything sucks in Puerto Rico" and that "America is just better" (which is ironic considering the US is a major reason why PR has so many issues)
I'm not saying our home countries are perfect in any way or that we should ignore these countries' flaws but - idk. I guess I wish I saw more love and appreciation of Latine countries and their cultures especially considering racists always shove it down our throats that our countries and cultures suck and that we're dirty and that we're inferior and yadda yadda yadda
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Guys I feel crazy
I found the owner of the truck on social media but she out herself under a different name 😂 don’t ask how I found her.
Anyways- I didn’t want to seem creepy but I really liked her! I just ended up messaging her business account since that’s most obvious and less creepy. I literally just told Jeff last week 🌑that I was asking for a friend to come into my life that is seeking a healthier more eco friendly lifestyle && so idk. I tend to jump into friendships very quickly and assume a little too much sometimes because I’m really outgoing and just love to talk to anything and anyone 😅 but idk.
Blah I feel silly guys honestly like really really silly but I do feel that empty space in my life right now. I have friends for different aspects of my life but not for that one.
We’ll see what happens.
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Thus, women must work the double shift of paid work and household work. Furthermore, with the decline of traditionally male manufacturing and service sector jobs, some immigrant women find themselves working more steadily and earning more money than their husbands. Men who find their status and identity as primary wage earners and providers are threatened because of their wives' paid work will at times be abusive toward their spouses.
Marixsa Alicea, A Chambered Nautilus
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Two Left Feet…..
A lifetime of Holding Up the Wall……
I can not cut a rug. I have no scissors, no mfin razor, nothing. I do not dance. I do not pull up my pants, I do not rock away. I am more of the making sure of the structural integrity of the walls, type of individual. I have many talents, dancing isn’t one of them apparently. I am not an introvert necessarily but what I am is cocky. I think extremely highly of myself. I consider myself above average in almost everything I do. The willingness to let go and allow yourself to feel the music and move on that, without caring for how you look to others is not in my wheelhouse of skills.
What makes this a problem for me is I would love to be able to dance with my wife just once and not feel like a complete ass as I do so. The problem with that is she can dance. Like she can DANCE DANCE. She gets on that dance floor and her hips get going and it is magic. Sexiest thing ever. Doesn’t matter if it's something that has an exact step. If she doesn’t know that step for the particular type of music, she is still on beat and making it look good. Its part of her light. She has had to deal with my insecurity and never really dancing when we go places due to my jealousy and insecurity forever. So, I hope when she goes out without me she dances with a friend, I guess with a stranger, with someone. This isn’t to say that I am mature enough to hear it when she gets home and not have a fit. However, some innocent dancing if the mood strikes her I hope she goes ahead and does it. Just definitely shouldn’t tell me about it because I will get jealous on every level. First, because I don’t have the ability to ask her to dance. Secondly, because some man is dancing with my wife and I'm as immature as could possibly be.
The issue grows deeper. It's never bothered me before because once again I’m a confident man. Despite dreaming of dancing with the wife and never truly being able to. It never bothered me that much. I just accepted it as something we would never share like jiu jitsu and superhero movies are for me. However, I am a father to a little girl and I promised myself to do my best to never let her down. The same way when a plane ride gets bumpy, there is a bug someplace, or anytime she feels afraid, Daddy is there. Same goes with this dancing situation. If that beautiful little girl wants to dance with daddy she is going to dance with daddy regardless of the pain it may cause the viewing audience. I can’t disappoint her. See she doesn’t understand what she means to me she doesn’t know she makes me the happiest. She doesn’t have the perspective yet. When I’m not feeling 100% I call on her and I say can you sit with daddy for a little while and she will and she makes me feel better with her company. So much responsibility I place on her shoulders and she has no idea. So, I would rather look foolish but make her happy than care about how I look at the time.
I’m fully aware that this is mostly ego talking. Nobody cares but me. Hell, my wife doesn’t even care. People frequently think people are thinking about them when they are absolutely not thinking about them. I do however celebrate my 15-year wedding anniversary this year and I would love to shock her with some dance floor magic. I have zero plans to somehow make that happen, but just like when I buy a lottery ticket it makes me happy to think about it if it were to happen. For now that’s good enough. Somebody has to make sure the walls are structurally sound!! You’re all welcome!
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